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The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, January 08, 1906, LAST EDITION, Image 4

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JOUHITAZi. MONDAY NIGHT.
:::.:; state. jcmxiL
Py FRANK P. MACLEXXAS.
Issued for Every Bay In the Year.
,..,..;') July 1, 175, as second class
matter at the postoffice at Topeka. Kan.,
under the act of congress.
VOLUME XXXIII
.No. 8
Official Paper City of Topeka.
C ficiul Paper Kansas State Federation
Women's Otitis.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION,
k Day Edition and Edition tor Sun
day Morning.
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City, Town or Country.
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TELEPHONES.
Pusiness Office
Pusiness Office
Reporter?' Koran
Reporters' Room
Frank P. M;icl.ennan
..Bell. If?
...Ind. 107
...Heil 677
...Ind. 15
...Ind.
I I T L LEASED WIRE REPORT OF
THE ASSOCIATED PRFSS F.VERY
WKEK DAY AM) PI PUSHERS'
PRESS REPORT OS SATURDAY
XIHT FOR THE EDITION FOR
SUNDAY MOKMXG.
The State Journal is a member of the
.Associated Press and receives the full day
teiejjtaph report of that great news or
ganization for exe'usive evenins publi
cation. The State Journal receives for exclusive
Publication the lea-red wire report of the
Publishers' Press for the edition for Sun
da v morning".
The pew is received in the. State Jour
nal building over wires for this soie pur
rose. The "Iowa idea" seems to be the
prevailing idea in the Iowa legislature.
John A. MeCall is reported quite
sick. It would make most men sick
to be separated from a $100,000 job.
In spite of the advent of natural eras
It seems that the price of coal in To
peka is scaring- in the same old way.
As soon as Rojest vensky's connection
"with the vodka supply was restored he
began to see hostile warships where
there was none. -
The midshipmen accused of hazing- at
Annapolis have been adjudged not guil
ty, but if they should do it again they
might not g-H off so easily.
Might as well look on the bright
Fide: This chilly spell is just cold
enough to be bracing to make one's
blood redder and the air purer.
It is stated that Attorney Carr Taylor
is not satisfied with the five per cent
reduction on grain rates. In this re
ppoet Mr. Taylor is very much like the
grain shippers.
For a salary of $12,000 a year, Grover
Cleveland is expected to prevent the
insurance companies from rebating.
Perhaps some good man could be se
cured to do the same for the railroads.
The managers of a Philadelphia Y. V.
C. A. home have settled a question long
in doubt. They hold that a woman is
no longer young after she has passed
thirty-five and therefore . cannot enter
the institution.
Coffey county employed T. A. Wise
man as a "tax ferret" some time ago,
and thus far he has brought over $17,
000 into the county treasury from the
tax-dodgers. Mr. Wiseman seems to
be living up to his name.
The Record tells of a mean man at
Erie who stole hi3 mother-in-law's
or mother's-in-la w, as some purists
might say false teeth in order to
keep her from eating too much. This
individual must be awarded a promi
nent piaee in the mean man museum.
Speaking of winter weather in Kan
Fas, the report comes from Logan that
a lady there gave a lawn party on
Christmas clay. To be sure Kansas
does not guarantee that this can be
done every Christmas, but it. shows
bow versatile Kansas can be in the
matter of weather.
There are indications that Governor
Douglas who retired from office in
Massachusetts last week has not with
drawn from politics. He is said to have
designs on a seat in congress where he
would be able to continue his fight for
tariff reform with a better prospect of
accomplishing something.
Two religious denominations at Lin
coin, Kansas, are about to engage in a
public debate concerning their re
spective doctrines, although what good
can come out of a debate of that char
acter is difficult to see. The same
amount of energy directed against
"wrong doing would have a far better
effect.
The beet sugar trust is very much
alarmed over the proposed reduction
of the tariff on Philippine sugar. It
was also similarly alarmed when
Cuban reciprocity was proposed, and
It prophesied the destruction of the
beet sugar industry in the United
States. It is noticeable, however, that
the beet sugar industry has grown as
never before in the last two years.
"We are permitted to read about
fc!;zzards in Kansas," says the Boston
Herald, "and that seems to be about
as near as we can get to them." The
Herald will be compelled to admit,
however, that it has read of no blizzard
in Kansas for something like a year,
end last winter Boston was more
blizzard-bound than was Kansas.
A Frenchman has invented the ex
cuse that wine prevents appendicitis.
jS'ow we may expect that there will be
a remarkable falling off in the num
ber of cases of "stomach trouble." for
which affidavits are filed at Kansas
drug stores, while a great many people
will suddenly discover that they are in
danger of appendicitis and need some
thing" to ward it off.
With the lid already pried off of the
county P.epublican campaign, with a
City election rap 131 y approaching- at the
rate of twenty-four hours every day,
and with Kansas Day and February 22,
on which dates all sorts of Republican
and Democratic state politics, respec
tively, will be started, looming up in the
immediate future, it looks as though To
ptka politicians will have plenty to do
before Ions'.
TO FIRE REED SMOOT.
The State Journal is In receipt of a
communication from the chairman of
the executive committee of the Na
tional League of Women's Organiza
tions. The object of this communica
tion is to enlist the aid of the State
Journal in the effort to pry Senator
Smoot loose from his chair in the
senate chamber and cast him hence.
From the letter head of the N. L.
of W. O. it is gathered that this ex
ecutive committee is made up of six
teen more or less eminent women, all
of whom have their names printed in
capital letters on the letter head. We
regret to say that we have not the
pleasure of the acquaintance of them,
but we doubt not they aro highly esti
mable ladies, and they have under
taken a great work in trying to set Mr.
Smoot of Utah adrift in the world
without any senatorial moorings.
The State Journal does not flatter
itself that its influence alone is sought
in this great work. Our communica
tion was only a mimeograph copy,
and a poor one at that. However, we
are willing to let that pass and give
due publicity to the matter.
We gather from this communication
that Senator Smoot has confessed that
he is a Mormon; that he is therefore
an enemy of the republic and an all
around villain. The X. L. of W. O. has
gathered the signatures of upwards of
a million women to memorials asking
the senate to put Mr. Smoot on the
toboggan, as it were, and send him
back to Utah.
It seems that somebody has been
talking about Smoot. We do not be
lieve in repeating gossip, but this
Smoot scandal has been whispered
about so much that possibly it will do
no harm to refer-to it. It is rumored
that. Senator Smoot has more wives
than he really ought to have, and that
the Smoot family is excessively large
in consequence.
The State Journal confesses that it is
unable to work itself into much of a
lather over the Smoot case. If he is
as bad as the good women of the
executive committee paint him, it
serves him right to be sent to the
United States senate. Six years of
punishment In being compelled to as
sociate with that body may reform
him. Instead of helping him to escape,
why not make him serve the limit of
his sentence at hard labor at least as
hard as the United States senate ever
does.
But taking the serious view that a
dismissal would be a punishment, the
State Journal is willing to sign a me
morial such as the good ladies of the
X. L. of W. O. are circulating, pro
viding it can amend it by inserting a
number of other names also. In the
list of those to be fired it would place
the name of Thomas C. Piatt far above
that of Mr. Smoot. And there are
others.
The executive committee hereinbe
fore mentioned desires publicity given
to its appeal, and the State Journal
therefore publishes it. It is as follows,
namely, towit:
"The testimony before the senate
committee proved that polygamy is
still taught and practiced by the presi
dent of the Mormon church and by
the majority of the apostles.
"The Mormon hierarchy maintains
political control in Utah and adjoining
states contrary to the covenants given
when statehood was granted. The
oaths taken by Reed Smoot in the en
dowment house are disloyal to the
government.
"Reed Smoot has sustained them in
all their practices.
"The National League of Women's
Organizations therefore earnestly asks
that all who are interested in the pro
tection of the home and nation from
the polygamous and treasonable teach
ings and practices of Mormonism write
letters to the senators from their states,
addressing them at the United States
Senate, Washington. D. C, asking
them in view of the evidence presented
to vote for the exclusion of Reed
Smoot."
PAUL MORTON AND REBATING.
In the January installment of his
series of articles on the railroad ques
tion in McCIure's Magazine, Ray St.t i
nard Baker makes some very strong,
positive statements, particu'arly re
garding the payment of rebates to the
beef trust. Here is one of them:
"Armour received rebates long be
fore the private car came to great im
portance. At first, and until very re
cently, as I showed in a former article,
it was a crude payment of ':ash. Let
me give a single example. The true
published rate on dressed beef (for
export) from Omaha to Chicago, for
a long time was twenty-three and ono
haif cents per hundred weight. That
is what you and I would have to pa
if we shipped. But Armour paid only;
eighteen and one-half cents, some
times only sixteen cents. He wanj
given an advantage of from five to
eight cents on every hundred
pounds shipped a perfectly mon
strous amount. This is no hasty or
unsubstantial charge. All the facta
regarding these rebates are set down,
in sworn testimony given before the
interstate commerce commission. Sev
eral railroad officials not only admit
ted that they paid rebates but that
they even signed contracts to pay
them. Paul Morton, the vice presi
dent of the Santa Fe railroad, a frank
witness, testified that he made a con
tract dated June 30, 1901, and he said
with a boldness little short of amaze
ment: " Yes sir. it is an illegal contract. It
was illegal when we made it, and we
knew that.'
"But the Santa Fe was not alone in
giving rebates: many other roads did
the same thing. C. J. Grammer, gen
eral traffic manager of the Lake Shore
railroad, not only testified to paying
rebates, but told in detail how the
secret accounts were settled. A. C.
Bird. of the Milwaukee railroad,
Mitchell of the Michigan Central, and
five other traffic men admitted paying
illegal rebates to the beef trust firms,
paying them in large amount and with
regularity.
"Could anything be clearer than
this calm acknowledgment of law
breaking? But no one has ever been
punished for this crime, neither the
railroads which gave the rebates nor
Armour and his associates in the beef
trust who received them. And this
extraordinary disclosure did not even
stop the law breaking. Armour and
his associates are as much nourished
today by lawless railroad discrimina
tion as ever, as I shall show."
And yet the railroads tried to de
feat legislation to stop this sort of
thing!
JOURIUL ENTRIES
This Idea of an earthquake coming
along without any advance notices
should be resoiuted against. How can
any medium-sized earthquake expect to
have an appreciative audience If no one
knows it is tjomlng? Any number of
people are mad today because they were
sitting peaceably by their firesides last
night and the earthquake quietly stole
by their houses without even announc
ing its presence as it went by. Possibly,
however, the earthquake existed chiefly
in somebody's fertile imagination.
To Charlie Sessions belongs the cred
it of discovering another Kansan who
is not a candidate for Burton's seat in
the senate. The discovery is J. R. Bur
ton. Mr. Sessions is rapidly attaining a
high rank as a discoverer.
It seems that we are indebted to Al
berta for this fresh little breeze today
Instead of to Medicine Hat. Has Medi
cine Hat gone cut of the business?
-
That French scientist who claims to
have discovered that wine will prevent
appendicitis may be canonized by a
large number of thirsty Kansans, but
what good does that do the Individual
who has already been separated from
his appendix.
J AY HAWKER JOTS
Centralia is
bushels of corn
cars to haul It
A Fort Scott
reported to have 55,000
stored there waiting for
away.
woman dropped a light
her night, but contrary
ed lamp the ot
to all precedent;
s, it failed to explode.
Arkansas C ity
of a well know
Traveler: An elopement
n couple was spoiled in
this city rece
ntly by the would-be
groom backing
because of the
out at the last moment
size of the girls father.
The Glasco Sun refused to exchange
with the Leavenworth Post because it
carries a beer advertisement; and the
Post admits that it is surprised, inas
much as the editor of the Sun answers
to the name of Frankforther.
The Kansas Corn Breeders' associa
tion will hold its second annual meet
ing at Manhattan during the fourth
week of January, beginning on the
evening of Monday, January 22, and
continuing through Wednesday. It
would pay every farmer who raises corn
to attend that meeting.
Embarrassing story from the Pratt
Union: A Pratt gentleman in Kingman
last week was caught in the act. The
new electric lights went out just as a
pretty waiter girl was approaching
this gentleman from the rear. She
tripped and fell forward, and as the
light flashed up there she was with
her arms around the Pratt man's neck,
just where she fell. Being an accident
made it none the less embarrassing by
the time the other Pratt fellows at the
table closed their remarks.
An actress who was playing In Smith
Center on Christmas had an annual cus
tom of going out and finding some poor
people whom she might make happy on
Christmas day. She tried to keep the
custom in Smith Center but she couldn't
find any poor to make happy. Before
making any inquiries she laid in a sup
ply of purchases she thought the poor
would appreciate, and then she started
out to run down her poor. But not a
poor could she find whom she could
heln. In all the town there had been
only one destitute family and that fam
ily's needs had been supplied by the
churches.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
When a man has a good deal to say
about how there Is not money enough
In the world to buy him, look out: He
will go at half price.
For some women to have faith in
their husbands must be equal to looking
straight at a stone wall, and insisting
that no stone wall is there.
What a pity that the marks of age
which appear as wrinkles are not so
modest and retiring that they appear on
a man s back instead of on his face.
It is said this is an apology a wom
an always makes: When she undresses
before another woman she apologizes
for the appearance of her corset.
If we ever write a song it will be a
parody on a cruel one now- having an
undeserved run. The parody will be en
titled: "Nobody Works at Our House
But Father."
Cigar smoke will kill the lice on plants
but that isn't going to help the plants
any: If their owners are not spinsters,
they won't let their husbands smoke in
the house.
When a young girl blushes, people
exclaim: "You are as pink as a rose,"
but when an elderly woman blushes
people say: "You ought to see your
face. It is as red as a beet."
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
The more children a woman has the
fewer theories she has concerning them.
It is possible that singers use tar drops
in order that they may get the pitch.
Any man can wear open-work stock
ings if his wife refuses to mend them.
Miss Antique "The man I marry
must be a hero." Miss Pert "There's
no doubt about that."
A girl often thinks of a fellow as a
man after her own heart when he is
really after her money.
Some people are of no more use in the
world than, the table decorations in the
mind of a hu- try m n.
The average girl has her trousseau all
planned long before she makes up her
mind whom she is going to marry.
It is a difficult matter to treat a man
for drunkenness. As a rule the more
you treat him the drunker he gets.
Willie's Mamma "You musn't touch
the door of that closet where the jam
is." Wi' '. "Can't I even touch the
door jam ?"
Blobbs "He's a pronounced vegetar
ian." Slobbs "Doesn't he eat any ani
mal food at all?" Blobbs "Not even a
dog biscuit."
Mrs. Newlywed "Before - we were
married you used to sing 'Every morn I
send you violets.' Mr. Newlywed "Well,
this morning I sent you a cauliflower,
didn't I?"
The reckless autoist who had killed a
pedestrian was before the Magistrate.
"You are fined $10.50," said the Mag
istrate. "What is the 50 cents for?"
asked the autoist. "Ten dollars for ex
ceeding the speed limit and 50 cents for
killing the man," replied the Magistrate.
KANSAS COMMENT
THE LIMIT.
Rev. Mr. Otto is about to open a re
vival campaign in Coffeyvllle, where
it is conceded something of the kind
Otto be done. Ottawa Herald.
ANOTHER THEORY.
President McCall of the Xew Yorjt
Life has resigned. He probably heard
that Kansas policyholders are consider
ing sending a delegate to New York to
investigate the company. Abilene Re
flector. o
NELSON'S WISH.
Frank Nelson recently declared he
wanted to go to the senate "to benefit
from association with the men of that
body." Think of that! And Nelson
supposedly one of the most decent men
in Kansas. Lawrence World.
THE SPOT ON STUBBS.
The Lawrence Journal says that
Stubbs stands for clean politics and
honest men and statesmanship. Yes;
as we remember it, he has always sup
ported Tom Kelly and Burton, one a
thief and the other a grafter Spring
Hill New Era.
BETTER INSURANCE.
The big insurance scandals will
doubtless result in cheaper life insur
ance. It has been known for years
by those who studied life insurance
that a big per cent, of the heavy pre
miums went to pay for graft. Man
kato Advocate.
POISONOUS FOODS.
Half the prepared foods examined
bf a professor of chemistry in the
state agricultural college were found
to be not only adulterated but bad,
and their use injurious to health.
How long will the public endure the
constant commission of a crime on the
part of manufacturers thatis one of
the worst of all crimes not only the
swindling, but the poisoning of the
consumer? Pure food laws of the
most stringent character are urgent.
It is of far more importance that
manufactured foodstuffs be pure and
wholesome, and what they are repre
sented to be, than that sneak thieves
are caught and punished. We can
endure the thief, but we can't eat of
the villainous compounds that are sold
for food very long without suffering
from disease. If not death itself. The
man who adulterates human food
with unwholesome or poisonous sub
stitutes is in effect a murderer, by
the side of whom Holmes and Hoch
are trivial offenders against the moral
law. Where a wife murderer kills one,
or a half dozen, the greedy manufac
turer of deleterious foods kills thou
sands and they are mostly children,
too. Hit him a hard lick. Rooks
County Record.
o
NONE THERE FOR GOVERNMENT.
Every man who stops to think for
a moment will see the folly of allow
ing the government to carry a pack
age weighing eleven pounds for 2 5
cents, when the express companies are
willing to carry the same package for
$1. But then the express companies
have one of their presidents in the
senate. See? Olathe Mirror.
GOOD SYSTEM.
Two Sabetha women have for years
been giving each other Christmas
presents. This time they had a heart
to heart talk, after which they ex
changed dollars at Christmas, and
were better satisfied. Sabetha Herald.
FROM OTHER PENS
THE FREE PRESS.
The genial and kindly speaker of the
house, enumerating some of those
grounds for hope which it is too easy
for all of us to forget, omitted that in
creasing freedom of thought and speech
which distinguishes our present age.
Milton, in his noble argument for liber
ty of the press, tells of a visit he made
to the great Galileo in his long impris
onment for teaching unacceptable truth.
Galileos are imprisoned no more, neither
are fires lighted for our modern Brunos.
No Milton need now employ his divine
eloquence against chains for thought
and fetters for the press. That battle
has, been fought and won. and so much
the world has gained once and for all
time. Portland Oregonian.
BIG ASSIGNMENT.
Correspondent Walter Wellman's as
signment to build an airship, proceed
to the north pole and report by wire
less is the biggest one yet. It even out
does Mr. Bennett's memorable order to
Mr. Stanley to go to Central Africa and
find Livingston. Let's hope the prompt
itude with which Stanley's task was ac
complished will be duplicated by Well
man, though that's a rather large aspir
ation. Boston Herald.
WE'RE NOT KICKING.
Even yet calamity Kansas is not al
together happy. Her complaint Is that
corncobs are now too high-priced a lux
ury to use for kindling fires: and that,
therefore Instead of utilizing her cobs
for that purpose, she feels constrained
to ship them east to be converted into
"maple sirip." Louisville Courier-Jour-
XOT DUE TO JOKES ALONE
Is Senator Bailey right In thinking
that the influence of the senate "has
been greatly lessened by the Idle jokes
of the last few years?" Somehow we
doubt if the jokes did It. Many indi
vidual senators have unfortunately pro
vided material for satire. Boston Tran
script. o
GREAT COUNTRY.
It is a great country in which the
resignation of three men, all members
of one family, from the employ of a
life insurance company wipes $450,000
a year from the pay roll. Elmira Ga
zette. o
AVOIDING THE RUSH.
The Pennsylvania Society of New
York has celebrated the Benjamin
Franklin anniversary a month in ad
vance. There's nothing slow about
Pennsylvania this year. Boston Tran
script. NO DANGER.
We hope that this habit of holding re
ligious sei vices In the saloons will not
drive the churches to curry favor by
opening bars In their vestibules. Brook
lyn Eagle.
o
AriUSE OF THE PASS.
There is no question that the free
pass system has been grossly abused,
and it is probable there is truth in the
statement made by railroad men that
one-third of the passengers on some
roads have been paying no fare. Pitts
burg Gazette.
OF COIT-SE NOT.
With her banks full of money and
her granaries overflowing, nobody is
now asking: "What" ails Kansas?"
New York Tribune.
EARNING AND SPENDING.
If women are going to study the "art
of spending," men will need to take a
few more lessons in the art of earning.
Chicago Post
LITTLE CHILDREN.
When tired little eyelids droop
And curly heads are nodding,
'Tis time that little children wera
Off to their beds sooa plodding.
And safe between the snowy sheets
Refreshing" sleep o'ertaking.
So sound and deep the long night through
To wake when day is breaking.
Awake to hear the song birds sing
Their anthem of the morning.
As suddenly their melody
Bursts forth with little warning.
Then up and dress with childish haste
Another day beginning;
Another day of happiness
Their loved ones' hearts instilling.
And so it is: their little joys
Make our dull lives seem brighter;
We love to see them romp and play
It makes our cares feel lighter.
Charles R. Mandcr in the Brooklyn
Eagle. j
Love Letters of a Husband. j
"Why Is it," asked the guileless girl,
"that nobody ha3 ever written a book
containing the love letters of a hus
band? There are all sorts of books of
love letters, love letters of liars, of
sweethearts and of wives, but the liter
ary world has remained strangelv
silent with regard to the love letters of
husbands."
The wise matron looked at her keen
ly for a moment.
"Do you mean to say," she inquired
in a sarcastic tone, "that you don't
know that there are no such things as
love letters from husbands? Wait un
til you are married, my dear, and
you'll cease to worry about that topic.
Just let me show you my collection,"
and she stepped across to the bureau
and took a small packet out of the
top drawer.
"There," she continued untying the
string and spreading a few thin, wafer
like envelopes out on the desk before
her; "there are the sole written com
munications I have received from my
devoted spouse during the years of our
connubial bliss. Now listen:
" "Dear Old Girl: Got here at 8 a.
m. ths morning. Too busy to write.
Saw Robinson at the offl. Great old
chap, Robinson. Don't forget to order
the coal. Can't send you a check now.
but will try tomorrow. Take care of
yourself. Yours, etc. Bob."
" "My Dear Annabelle: Read most
of your long and effusive communica
tion on my way down town. Awfully
glad to know you miss me so much.
Of course, I miss you. you dear little
goose. Sorry I haven't time for more.
Look out for Dobbins if he comes
around with that horse. 'S Ever.
" 'Robert.'
"'My Dear Child: Of course, I got
your last letter. How could you. ex
pect me to write, when I am rushied to
the eyes? Happy to know you and the
children are enjoying that sea air for
which I am paying $50 per. No news
in particular, except that lost some
thing like ten at billiards last night
and had the horse shod today. Wish
you would get back soon and get a
new cook. This one is killing me.
Love to all, etc. Robert.'
" 'Dear Little Worhan: Am so sleepy-
tonight after a hard day's work, thiat I
can t write you a decent letter. Just
drop a line to say everything is O. K.
and to inclose a check. With love, etc.
" 'Bobby.'
"Is that all?" sighed the guileless
girl.
vv ell. it s all of the most ardent
ones, remarked the w-ise matron,
packing up her bundle.
What is that funny little packet of
yellow things?" inquired the guileless
girl.
Those? Those are telegrams.
Bobby, like most husbands, communi
cates mainly by telegram when he Is
In a hurry. Some of these are almost
affectionate, so I kept them. I suppose
if he should die thev would seem quite
appealing and pathetic. Poor old
Bobby!"
"And yet," mused the guileless girl.
"they say your husband is devoted and
quite a model in his way.
"He is." remarked the wise matron,
cheerfully, "and his letters are models
of whiich nearly every wife can pro
duce you an exact copy. If there is
one thing a man hates to do it is write
a letter, and the moment he is mar
ried he swears oft" altogether. That is
why there is no book of 'The Love
Letters of a Husband.' " New York
Press.
Hughes Was a Precocious Boy.
One of the first and most significant
things I discovered about Charles E.
Hughes was that he has a very spon
taneous and rather boyish laugh a
laugh impelled by so strong a sense of
humor that now and then he feels
obliged to rein it In. Standing, most of
the time, with his back to the grate
fire, he gave me a glimpse of the long
succession of his days of work. I saw
first a frail and puny boy of eight re
ceiving, among his presents on a Christ
mas morning, a copy of the Bible, print
ed in Greek, and the same boy, after
breakfast, poring over its pages. Mr.
Hughes laughed when he told me this,
and asked me not to consider the child
a little prig. He assured me that he
was not much of Greek scholar at the
age of eight, and had no overweening
fondness for the classics. It was only
that, being too delicate to go to school
or to indulge in the romping play of
other children, his father, a Baptist
clergyman, had turned his young son's
mind in the direction of his own stud
ies. This was In Glens Falls, New
York, where Mr. Hughes was born.
His mother, as well as his father,
took a hand in his early education.
Having been a school teacher, and be
lieving in the value of mathematics as
discipline for the mind, she drilled her
boy every day in mental arithmetic.
He said that he used to enjoy these les
sons, and that they were the founda
tion of a grasp of facts and figures
which has been of Immense value to
him in his law practice. Besides study
ing the languages and mathematics he
was reading theology when he was ten.
Again he laughed when he mentioned
this. He explained that it was merely
his home Influences and not any spe
cial inclination on his part, aside from
a fairly studious disposition, that led
him into these paths of somewhat pre
mature scholarship. If he had been a
farmer's boy, he said, he probably
would have been no less zealous In
following the path that led to the
swimming hole In the creek. J. Her
bert Welch in "Success Magazine."
Husband With a Good Memory.
"I suppose every woman has times of
regret for the romantic days of her
honeymoon," says a very contented
matron. "When I was first married I
felt perfectly sure that we'd never for
get to keep a single one of our anni
versaries the anniversary of our first
meeting, of our engagement we started
out with so many to keep. The other
day somebody asked me what year I
was married In, and I positively couldn't
tell till I'd stopped to think. I told my
husband about It.
" 'Just imagine my forgetting what
year it was," I said. 'Can you always
remember?'
" 'Of course, I can,' he said. T never
forget.'
"This touch of sentiment surprised
me so that I was on the point of saying
something very nice indeed to him,
when he went on:
" 'The way I remember it,' he said,
'Is by the World's fair. That was in
'93.' "Washington Post.
rr
the eve inn a story
Sybilla Long, Knight Errant.
By Ina Wright Hanson.
"I did have such an experience this
morning! I started out to find a girl
I used to know, and who I heard was
living here. I got tangled up In a
minstrel show going over, and coming
back I got mixed into a tuneral. I
didn't know exactly where she lived,
and I had all Boston Ravine out look
ing for her. I'm sure the folks down
there haven't been so stirred up for
years."
The voice beyond the boulder broke
most pleasantly into Fenton's moody
thoughts. He sat up promptly but
cautiously.
"That's the first decent voice I've
heard in this accursed place," he ob
served silently.
It didn't seem to be an accursed
place. Fragrant with pine needles,
vocal with the humming of bees in
late manzanita blooms, and the
laughter of a watercress laden stream;
beautiful with brick red soil, varied
greens in foliage, and glimpses of
heaven's own blue it seemed like a
charming spot the only discord, the
pale-faced, hollow-eyed man himself.
"I dtdn't find the girl after all," the
musical tones went on, "but I found
the house she used to live in."
Fcnton listened impatiently while
the other voice said things, querulous
things burdened with the aches and
pains of the speaker. "A typical
sanatorium voice," thought Fenton
peevishly, then he brightened as the
first speaker remarked:
"You think you will go back, do
you? Oh, no; the walk hasn't hurt
you. Exercise and fresh air do won
ders for a body often. No. I am going
to stay and read till luncheon."
In silence Fenton wondered if she
would read aloud; but instead she be
gan to sing. He fairly held his breath.
Notes soft as a wood dcve'3; a voice ex
quisite by nature, and unspoiled by
training. She was singing a little lyric
of love, and Fenton thought of a swing
ing gate, scurrying clouds, and his first
sweetheart's first kiss, years and years
forgotten. Then without any preceptl
ble hesiteney, the melody changed to a
lullaby, tender as a mother's prayer;
and the weary look left the man's eyes,
the hard lines around his mouth re
laxed, and he drew a long, almost sob
bing breath. The melody ceased, and
Fenton felt as if he had never had a
desire in his life but to hear her sing.
He rose. and. went to the other side of
the boulder.
"Pardon a sick man," he began, but
his tongue seemed paralyzed. His only
conscious thought was that he was glad
the girl in her nurse's uniform was so
fair. Her eyes gazing curiously up at
him had never a hint of fear in their
amber depths. He gathered his senses
together.
"I haven't slept naturally for a week,"
he said bluntly. "Will you sing for
me?"
When Fenton awoke, the sun was
shining no longer. He sat up quickly,
and found that a great shawl was keep
ing the evening's chilliness from him;
then his eyes discovered the nurse lean
ing against a tree, regarding him grave
ly. "You ha,ve stayed here all day you
have had no lunch! he exclaimed.
She smiled. "Oh, no; when I was sure
you would stay asleep, I went back to
the Sanatorium, and then I came
again."
They rose; Fenton folded the shawl
and laid it over his arm.
"How am I everg oing to thank you?"
he began.
"Don't try," she answered simply,
preceding him down the narrow path.
"I worked too hard, and collapsed,"
he explained. "Sha'n't be so foolish
when I get well again. I am going to
get well now that I can sleep. Maybe
you have heard of John Fenton, Carpet
Manufacturer. I am the idiot.
"Oh!" exclaimed the girl, then
added hastily, "a pebble rolled under
mv foot. I am Sybilla Long, nurse.
He wondered at the deep flush
which overspread her face they
vvere at the foot of the hill, and walk
ing side by side.
"Can't I syndicate your services?'
he inquired gravely. "Do you sup
Dose the doctors are averse to a
graft?"
He thought her low laughter was
pleasanter even than her song or her
speech. That nlgnt ne slept as ne naa
not for a year.
A new life was beginning for John
Fenton. The sanatorium's grim walls
no longer spelled to him hopelessness,
The doctors were complacent over so
satisfactory a convalescent, but Fen
ton laughed in his sleep at them. It
was not their pills and potions which
had made a man of him again, but
the tonic of a sweet voice and a gra
cious presence.
She seemed, thi3 fair Sybilla, to be
over young for a nurse; perhaps for
that reason the grave doctors indulged
her beyond the others. At any rate,
she always had time for Fenton, and
daily she fascinated him more. He
had not been a man of many loves,
The first I'.ttle sweetheart, dead years
before, and the woman his mother
wanted him to marry, but whom he
had perversely refused even to meet
the first had set his heart strings
a-quiver. the last (his mother
affirmed) stood ready to do so. So all
the loves which Fenton might, have
nurtured and had not, came flying
around tnis amber-eyed, flute-voiced
Sybliia.
So she sang to him, and he quoted
to mmsen, Ana tnou oesicle me
singing in the wilderness": she read
to him, and he fitted other words to
the meldoy of her voice words he
hoped sometime to hear from her
lips; she talked blithely or thought
fully, as her mood might be, and he
answered in like spirit, watching with
a lover s eyes each changing expres
sion. The doctors had pronounced him well,
but he loathed to go into the world
again. He had a feeling that In its
clang and clamor, Sybilla Long would
prove to be what Ehe had been before
he knew her a dream too beauteous to
come true.
There came a day when the breath of
summer was hot over the red soil and
withering manzanita bloom3. The water
cress laden stream was too languid for
laughter, but Fenton's heart beat high
with hope. He was wondering how he
should say it the world-old tale for
say it he must w ithin the hour. Look
ing at her pensive face, the words, of a
favorite song came into his mind, and
his clear tenor broke softly Into the
stillness of the pine forest. Sybilla
looked up surprised, for Ehe had never
heard him sing.
"I think of you all the day long.
You run through the hours like a song:
Sometimes I think if the world could see
My golden dreams. It would envy me.
Dearie, my dearie, nothing's worth
while but dreams of you.
And you can make every dream come
true
Dearie, my dearie' "
"Will you, my dearie, make every
dream come true?" he leaned toward
her eagerly, but she shrank away from
him, covering her face with trembling
hands. A tear splashed out between her
fSr.eers.
His face clouded. "Why, little girl,"
he began with troubled concern.
She uncovered her fce, and jookeS at
him wanly. He started- at her expres
sion. ,
"Did you ever hear of Martha Gil
len?" she asked.
His look was uncomprehending. Mar
tha Gillen was the woman his mother
had for five years been importuning
him to marrs-.
"Yes," be said dully, "why?"
"For many reasons I love her a I
would a sister. One day she told m
that your mother wanted you to marry
her, but thatyou wouldn't even meet
her for fear yon might be Inveigled into
it. She laughed about it, but I thought
it an affront to her beauty and good
ness and wisdom, and I prayed for th.
chance to avenge her. It came sooner
than I expected. I learned about your
Illness, and where you were. Dr. Jenson.
is mv cousin, so it was easy enough to
pose 'as a nurse, and that's what I ,nava
been doing. Now you despise me."
Fenton noted the quiverii.g of her lips,
and said gently, "I don't understand.
You have been goodness itself tome.
You have "
!-. tznri Kffl the baseness ot
me' I did it to make you love ine
Sybllla's white face was crimson new
"I wanted you to love me, and tell me
-i . w . mmrv von. and then
I was going to spurn you to the ground;
and so should Martha Gillen be
avenged!
i?.ntnn MntinA- "How old are you.
little knight-errant, avenger of another
woman's wrongs? Not quite twenty? I
thought so. lears ago i t.m o. m -'''
twenty, and often aia i uusy
. ,,r hPi into a esuvius
UUlllillft - , , .
spitting forth fire, smoke and lava.
Sybilla, dear, wny ami om..
me?
tt nut -nia nrms. and Into them
crept a tearful, very rosy, '-Try winsome
knight-errant, happuy worsteu m
first combat.
(Copyright, 1306, by Kiioy uougms.)
"Th turkev is a very greedy bird."
wrote littlo Bessie in her cnpos.tij
"The one we hr,d for our ThkssUii
dinner had eaten more tuan two qu-.n.
of oysters." Judge.
"t-,.. ,1iii.miIv)-Please Iiolp a cripple
at this festive season, sir
Wsli , e,j ,xQn?i:.a- him some rnon-
0-)B!cs me. why. of course. How ars
you crlpplea, my poor ikio i
Tramp (pocketing the money Finan
cially crippled, sir. Glasgow Evening
Times.
Miss Quizz How many Christmas pres
ents did you get? ,v.ii.
Miss Pry-Twenty-seven. and just think
how lucky I was. I've found what they
all cost except three. Town Topics.
Master Francisco!
Servant Sir?
Master Co to the theater and bring me
an orchestra seat.
Servant Impossible, sir. They are all
nailed to the floors. Tales.
"Was he calm and collected when the
boiler explosion occurred?"
"Well, he was calm, all right, but they
never did get him all collected." Cleve
land Leader.
"My wife has a tender nature."
"How so?" ,
"She got some eggs at the grocer s the
other dav and hadn't the heart to beat
them they were so old." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
"Beg pardon, sir," said the waiter, with
outstretched palm, "but haven't you for
gotten something?"
"No," replied the departing guest, but
I'm trvin' to forget it. Good day!" Phila
delphia Ledger.
The first canary- had discovered that it
had a voice, and was proceeding to use it.
'"Do you think you can sing?" sneered
the parrot.
"Well, I should twitter!" said the ca
nary. Which, in order to make good. It im
mediately began to do. Chicago Tribune.
"I understand you played a solo at the
musical last night." ti
"No, merely an accompaniment.
"Whv, nobody sang."
"True. But everybody talked." Louis
ville Courier Journal.
"I fear I shall not be able to attract
much attention," said the new congress
man. "Don't worry," answered Senator Sor
ghum, "in this era of accusations and in
vestigations It is sometimes a luxury not
to be noticed." Washington Star.
New Yorker We Yankees are ahead of
you English In everything.
Cockney 'Ow about welcomin" in the
New Year? Guess we are ahead of you
several hours. Ex.
"That man is e. very witty rtllow."
"Well, he's a chemist; he ought to be."
"What has that to do with his wit?"
"Because cheirdsti? as a class are always
reaIy with retort3." Baltimore Ameri
can. First Visitor Singular so many Boston
glrlu weffr glasses. Is it on account of de
fective vifiior:, I wonder?
Second Visitor No. priifMshiiess they
think it Imprcner to appear In public with
Uie naked eye." Ev.
Scott Here Is r.n Enrlish woman visit
ing us who says all vnices have colors.
Thus th voice of a drinklns man is a
dark rmiber
I.tott Voice nothing! That's his breath.
-Ex.
Brisgs I have ronolvrd to give up drink
ing after Ner Year's day.
Griggs You don't really mean it?
Briggn I hepe rot.
Tcss Enemies ar you? Tou fion't say?
I thought she loved you nst long ngo.
Jess So shs did, and she lores me not,
now. Ex.
Ne!! Mr.ud savs she gets her good looks
from her mother.
Belle-1 had no Idea her mother was so
stingy. Philadelphia Record.
Kardup I'll never go to that restaurant
again. The last time T was there a man
got my overcoat and left Ills In its plsce.
Weloff But the proprietor wosn'l to
blame, was he?
llardup No, but I might meet the other
man. Talcs.
The Evangelist Hoodoo The desnernta
man. weary of life, opened an i:pper win
dow In the skyscraper and threw himself
out. He landed on ton of a load of mat
tresses with which e. teamster happened
to be driving alone: rt the moment.
"Hang the luck!" he exclaimed, ns h
rose to his feet, phoolc himself, pri found
he was practically uninjured. "I might
have known this would bp the result of
jumping from the thirteenth iloor!"--Chi-cago
Tribune.
Mrs. McBosh Do you mean to tell me,
sir. thnt you were sober when you caina
home last nitrht?
Mr. MeSoph Absolutely, my dear.
Mrs. McHosh Then will you explain
why you filled the refrigerator with coal
and nut six shovelfuls of ice in '.he fur
nace? Cleveland Leader.
She AniT do you really love me for my
self alone?
H Sure. That's why I don't want your
mother to live with un sftcr v.e are mar
ried. Somerville Journal.
He Hello, r-ld man. T underst-n-1 t!it
after graciuattnir "t Ya!e yo-i pir.t s'.
years among the German meoical unvi-r-sitie.
Colics-inn And two in London.
He Wei!, well! s'pose you'rs through
with study now?
Collegian No; I am just beginning a
three weeks' course on operating a trolie
car.-Plttsburg Post. 7
HUMOR OF THE TAY

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