The Topeka state journal. [volume], August 17, 1906, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THS TOPEKA DAILY STATU JOURNAL FRIDAY EVENING, AUGUST 17, 1SC3.
IvIlaA state journal
By FRAXK P. MAC LEN'XAX.
(Entered July 1, l?75. as second class
Matter at the postofrico at Topeka, Kan.,
Under tho act of congress.
Volume xxxiii No. roi
Official Paper City of Topekru
Cfllclal Pap Kansas State Federation
Women's Clubs.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily edition. delivered by carrier. M
eents a week to any part of Tcpeka. or
suburbs, or at the dame pries in ar.y Kan
sas towns where the paper has a. carrier
J'v ma!!, cms year
Jy mall, th-ee months .2?
fcatnrday edition of AniW. one Tr 1
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Fm! Ti1oek. manaerer.
For, iFicm wtbt" report
OF TTTTR ASSOCIATED PTIE:.
Th State Journal in a member of the
4oef?ed Pres and twpIvps the full day
t!s-rar,h renort of that (Treat news organ
!?f fori for the exclusive arternoon pubii
ftfon fn Topeka.
The new Is r(-!ved In The State Jotir
r0 building over wires for this sole pnr
ftoee. HOME NEWS WTTTLE A WAT.
j Fubsorlhe-r of the State .Totimnl
ftwny Siirlng Ihtt (nimmPr mny have
the paper maital regularly each flay
to any address ot f? rate of ten cents
a week or thirty cents 8 montfi (by
wall only). Address changed as often
as desired. While ont of town the
Etate Journal will bo to you liko a
dally letter from home.
Advance payment Is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to saye
bookkeeping expense.
"What Kansas needs as much as a
"square deal" Is a square assessment for
purposes of taxation.
Frenchmen could save much time
end trouble and even money If. they
would fight their duels by mall.
Some people think they see something
significant In the fact that the Iowa
Democrats held their convention at Wa
terloo. A Maine court has decided that suicide
Is no crime. Hereafter, people who kill
themselves in Maine will not even be
subjected to arrest.
Schwab Is said to be backing an opera
company. Well, what is a man with a
surplus of cash to do in this country.
We have no Monte Carlo.
Secretary Bonaparte favors the
whipping post for anarchists. Let It
be tried on the Brooklyn Rapid Tran
sit railway to begin with.
The Pennsylvania Railroad company
has announced that it will obey the law.
Should this be classified under the head
cf curiosities or of valuable concessions.
The suicide ot the teller of the looted
Milwaukee Avenue bank of Chicago
who had no part In the stealing seems to
be another case of the "Innocent by
stander." San Francisco is calling for me
chanics to help rebuild the city. To
peka can't do anything for her. All
the mechanics in the Kansas capital
are needed right here.
New York Democrats are in a bad fix.
If they nominate Hearst they fear they
may elect him and if they don't nom
inate him they feel almost certain that
they can't elect anybody.
It is announced that Mrs. Harry K.
Thaw will tell the story of her life on
the witness stand at her husband's
trial. Here seems to be a call to An
thony Comstock to get busy.
The president appears to be conduct
ing his administration In such a way
that no matter how the congressional
elections go this fall the result will be
regarded as an endorsement of his
course.
Patrons of Kansas drug stores are
overlooking something if they are not
offering typhoid fever as an excuse for
buying whisky. A Chicago scientist
has declared that alcohol is sure death
to typhoid germs.
The politicians In Maine are fighting
the whisky question all over again.
Opponents of the present administra
tion carry with them and exhibit on
the stump bottles of liquor purchased
In this or that town.
Secretary Bonaparte does himself
little credit, says the Buffalo News, in
advocating the lash for anybody, even
the anarchist. What the world needs
la higher intelligence, not more cruel
ties. Shut up the criminal and protect
society from him but to beat him is to
brutalize society and reform nothing.
The Four Brothers' Oil company, an
Independent concern with headquarters
In West Springfield, has been selling oil
et wholesale in various Massachusetts
towns at 8'- cents a gallon. The Stand
ard Oil company has reduced its price
In those same towns to 74 cents a gal
lon. The Springfield Union says this
Is for the purpose of crushing competi
tion. Now, who gave the Union that
tip?
One of the things reported to be on
the Bryan programme is a constitu
tional amendment providing for a tax
on Incomes. Advocacy of amendments
to the constitution of he United States
may look well in party platforms and
serve to gain some votes, but that la
the limit of its usefulness. It never
materializes and is not likely to do so
In the future. If an income tax ever
he collected it wiil be by the grace of
a friendly supreme court and long be
fore the constitution could be amended.
Mr. Bryan and Mr. Roosevelt have
been frequently criticised for attempt
lag r exercising too much power or
authority. This charge seems to have
made little impression against their
popularity with the great body of the
public. In commenting upon this, the
Memphis News Scimitar says: "The
fact is, the people care less for the
power exercised by any one man than
they do for the way he exercises it.
They will even overlook many viola
tions of precedent or society's require
ments or regulations if the general net
result of a man's life is serviceable to
them. It is true only a strong man
can safely hazard conduct in contradic
tion to preconceived opinions or regu
lations." BRIDGES ARE ALL BURNED.
The cry has gone out that President
Roosevelt must accept a renomination
in order to Insure tho Gereat of Mr.
Bryan. If the Republican managers
are placing their future hopes of par
ty success on that sort of an arrange
ment they may as well close up shop.
Mr. Roosevelt will not and can not
stand for reelection. The hopes of
those who are urging upon him such
a course, appear to have no other ba
sis than that politicians often have
declared that they would not seek an
other term and then have begun lay
ing plans for securing a reelection as
soooi as they were installed in office. .
The president might have said, be
fore his election and with good reason,
that he regarded the term of office to
which he aspired as his second, and
having no wish to violate precedent,
he would decline a renomination.
But that was not the Roosevelt way.
While differing from the average poli
tician In many ways, his manner of
declining another term in office was
unprecedented. He waited until the
votes which placed him In the presi
dential chair for four years were
counted, and then made his announce
ment which he has repeated at va
rious times since.
There was an evident intention to
avoid temptation. It was not difficult
to foresee the probability of the ex
istence of just such a state of public
feeling as that which is now appar
ent. Whether or not he had this
outlook before him, he deliberately
and premeditatedly burned his
bridges.
DIVORCE STATISTICS.
The divorce problem, which is with
us always, has been given new Interest
by the census bureau undertaking to
compile statistics regarding the extent
to which marriages are being annulled.
It is difficult to see what purpose can
be served by gathering a lot of figures
on a subject the evil side of which is
already well understood.
What everybody wants of course is a
practical way out of the existing con
ditions. As is usual in connection with
all reforms there is a demand for
more legislation on a matter which
seems to have received too much legis
lative attention already. The subject
presents the same old difficulty which
attends every effort to make people
good by law. Every attempt at this
sort of thing is attended by the danger
that while preventing people from vio
lating one set of statutes, we lead them
or drive them into violating others.
The statistics which the census bu
reau is expected to furnish if carefully
gathered may at least prove interesting
in showing the effect which the many
and various divorce laws of the Union
have on maintaining the permanency
of the marriage relation and it is pos
sible that something may be got out
of it which will prove valuable in
ways other than that of affording a
basis for additional legislation. They
may even result in making it appar
ent that less law rather than more
would be conducive to the end de
sired. It is expected that thesouthernstates
will appear in remarkable contrast to
the remainder of the United States. It
is well known that the severing of the
marriage tie is of rare accurrence in a
large portion of the south and if it can
be shown that this fact is due to the
character of the divorce laws, then the
south is the place to seek a model for
legislative enactment.
Probably it will be found, however,
that public sentiment and early train
ing are chiefly responsible for the
preservation of the sanctity of the
marriage relation. If that be so, then
the remainder of the country may still
prtofit by the information so obtained.
A FAVORED LAND.
The United States at the present time
is the busiest region on the globe, and is
doing the biggest business of any na
tion on earth. Its mills and factories are
working so fast that producers of raw
materials are hard pushed. Its farms
are loaded with crops. Its railroads are
rushed night and day. Its cities and
towns are pushing outward and upward.
Its immigrants are greedily snapped up
and put to work, and on every hand the
cry is, "More men!"
Railroad earnings in July were 12 per
cent larger than in July, 1905. The rail
roads are placing heavy orders for cars,
rails, and bridge material. Pittsburg re
ceived inquiries last week as to the time
when 20,000 additional steel cars could
be delivered. The reply was that the
pig-iron famine must first be disposed
of. Several pipe mills have been
forced to close down, through inability
to get raw material. One of the Pitts
burg steel companies received inquiries
Inst week for 100,000 tons of steel rails.
Scarcity of labor has diminished the
output of coke and hampered the opera
tions of the mills.
The demand for iron has led to an in
crease of the carrying capacity of ship
ping on the Great Lakes. Twenty-seven
new vessels have been ordered for 1907,
which means an addition of 9.000,000 to
10,000.000 tons a season to the carrying
capacity of the Great Lakes fleet.
The winter wheat crop, according to
government reports, will reach 493,434,
000 bushels, and the spring wheat crot.
Is figured at 250,000,000 to 278,000,000
bushels. The corn crop, unless dam
aged by early frosts, will equal the big
yield of last year. Experts are revising
and enlarging their estimates of the
cotton crop, some of them predicting a
yield of over 13,000,000 bales. Prices of
wheat, corn, and cotton are tending
downward. The price of food is almost
certain to be lower this fall and winter.
while wages are high, and the demand
for labor stronger than ever. The labor
ing man, therefore, will get his full
share of prosperity.
Building operations appear to be lim
ited only by the supply of labor. Th
extension of railroads and the gathering
of crops have drained the labor market.
Real estate operations are being con
ducted on an enormous scale throughout
the country, and the growth of trolley
lines is everywhere remarked.
The foreign commerce of the United
States continues to expand. Exports of
breadstuffs are greater this summer
than last, and the big wheat movement
is yet to come. Contrary to expectation.
exports of meat are increasing, all of
which leads the Washington Post to
remark, that "taken altogether, the
United States is the most favored land
under the sun."
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Every man thinks if he were a mul
ti-millionaire he would be different
from the rest and wouldn't want more
money.
The Indiana board of health has
adopted some anti-ktsstng rules. Well,
the Indiana board of health certainly
doesn't have to do any kissing if it
doesn t want to, and so long as it
doesn't interfere with the rest of us
there will be no objection to any rules
it wishes to adopt for its own ob
servance.
What is the Inference a successful
politician must draw when he is asked
if an honest man can succeed in
politics?
It is somewhat paradoxical, but a
girl is apt to treat you coldly when you
make her hot.
JAYHAWKER JOTS
Now Riley county is claiming a
whole field of corn in which the ears
are nine feet above the ground. There's
a good place for a step-ladder factory.
"The weather yesterday," says the
Burlington Republican of a very small
shower, "paid another installment of
the interest on the rain due six weeks
ago."
The . Abilene Reflector is all puffed
up because it has a new dress which it
describes as "thoroughly up-to-date,
with Peter Pan effect and straight
front design."
Neosho county is also trying to get
ahead of the bridge trust. It has re
cently let the contracts for building
seven bridges to a home man for nearly
1700 less than the bridge companies
bid.
Howard Courant: It is said Howard
has one citizen who has never shaved
since John C. Fremont was defeated
for president. It is at least certain
that he has not shaved since he landed
in Howard in 1875.
An Emporia man who. has been
married for years recently bought a
diamond ring as a surprise for his wife.
"How Is that for devotion?" asks the
Gazette. But it may not have been de
votion at all. Perhaps he was trying
to square himself with her.
Sedgwick Pantagraph: "I noticed
your trees are all planted In rows in
this country." said a timid tourist on
the train the other day as he pointed
out across the Kansas landscape.
"Gosh all fish hooks," exclaimed the
disgusted farmer who was going to the
next town to get some automobile
fixtures, "those ane not trees. That's
a Kansas cornfield."
Holton Recorder: The late congressi
appropriated $5,000 to straighten the!
Neosho river below Emporia. While
our lawmakers were wasting money
why did thev not think to appropriate
a sum sufficient to straighten out
Straight creek, which Dan Teer used
to say was the crookedest creek on
earth. He declared It only had one
straight stretch in Its whole course and
that was less than six inches long.
Adfim Crooker, of Holton, has been
trying to recollect an old "piece" that
was in the reader when he was a boy,
but the way he irets it Is this:
"How big was Charley Curtis, Pa?
That Shawnees call him great.
Was he a statesman grand and tall
His influence of 5-reat weight?
O no, my child, about as big
As I or Uncle Sol.
'Twas not his statecraft made him
great,
But the greatness of his gall."
GLOBK SIGHTS.
TFrom the Atchison Globe.
Wrhen we travel we always think
that the best looking people stay at
home.
When a man goes Into baslness. af
ter he is 50, It is in the hope of estab
lishing something for his son.
The trouble with the woman who
has success with flowers is that her
family hasn't a window at home to
look out of.
A man does so many foolish things
every year that he staggers under a
terrible burden of humiliation by the
time he is fifty.
Listen to any girl of 16 and the
tenth word she will say is "chum,"
and it appears every fifth word In her
conversation afterward.
One great trouble is that those who
need the exercise in tennis and ball
games are the ones who look anything
but graceful in taking it.
When a man has as many as three
night shirts, it doesn't mean all good
luck: The third was made to have in
the house for company.
It is funny the difference in taste:
When a woman wants to change the
color of her hair, she blondines it, but
when a man wants to change his
he dyes it black.
When the model man presides at
the table when there is company he
passes and passes without being told,
urges and urges till every mite before
him has been served and finally
starves to death.
Why do women blondine their hair,
when they know perfectly well that
everybody will know it, and talk
about it? People always know when
hair is blondined. whether it is Just
touched up, or the whole thing.
It may be an old fashioned notion
that a girl should prepare Tier mind
for travel, but in these days it is
more important that she prepare by
learning how to dress sitting on the
edge of a bed, or cramped up with
seven other women in a space which
her mother would consider too crowd
ed for the palm at home.
Lysander John Appleton walked into the
kitchen rtt his home this morning, dressed
in a rubber suit. Over his head he wore
a cap something like that the divers
wear, leaving only the mouth exposed.
"What on earth are you fixed up that
way for?" said the wife. Lysander John
Appleton paused, his hand on the refrig
erator door and paid with an air of
mournful dignity: "I am about to eat a
ripe tomato, and don't want to get any
of the juice on my clothes."
I KANSAS COMMENT
1 1 '
THE RAILROAD BOARD.
The chief work of the railroad poli
ticians is to make it appear that therj
is no railroad issue. They advanced this
laea in congress and would undoubtedly
have won if the man in the White
House could have been controlled. Tii't
states should now follow un the inter
state law with laws controlling legisla
tion within the state; and the people
should elect a board of railroad com
missioners whose nominations the
railroads did not dictate. What does a
man who has children care whether the
school board is composed of Democrat
or Republicans? What he wants is the
board that will maintain the best school
and do the best for his children. Whnt
does the farmer or the shipper care
whether a railroad commissioner calls
himself Republican or Democrat? What
he wants is the man who will stand for
a fair rate and will fight discrimination
against towns and individuals, and com
pel obedience to the law. The railroads
have controlled every board of commis
sioners Kansas ever had, and they in
tend to control the next one and they
will control it if the men they picked
out for the Republicans to nominate are
elected, aa they undoubtedly will be;
the majority of people will be led to
believe before the campaign is over,
that there is no railroad issue this year.
Jewell Republican.
MR.RIPLETFORGETTER.
President Ripley of the Santa Fe says
the railroads will lose money with a two
cent rate. Mr. Ripley seems to forget
that the two cent rate idea goes with
the idea that free passes are not to be
issued, or at least he forgets to men
tion the antipass feature in his open
letter. If suggestions are 1n order, it
might be proper to ask that the next
time Mr. Ripley takes his pen in hand
he would enlighten the people upon how
much free transportation is given out In
the state each year, measured on tm
basis of dollars and cents. He might
also state how much, if any, watered
stock the Santa Fe pays dividends on,
and what this stock costs Its present
owners. These small points seem to
have been overlooked, but the people
are curious about them the people who
pay their fares. Burlingame Chronicle.
ANCIENT HISTORT.
It will be remembered that the Re
publican state platform of 1890 contain
ed an anti-pass plank. The sentiments
of the party were -expressed in the iol
lowing language: "We are opposed '.o
the system of free passes on railroads
now in vogue in this state by reason cf
which every railroad company is expect
ed as a matter of courtesy to compli
ment all state officer, members of the
legislature, judges and other public of
ficers with free transportation over
their lines and we favor the suppression
of this practice by proper legislation."
Wronderful to relate, the Republican
party did not get a chance to carry out
its Intention to be truly good, for it
was smitten hip and thigh by the Pops,
who doubtless wanted a chance to ride
on passes awhile themselves before tne
practice went out of fashion. Clay
Center Times.
o-
TAKE YOUR CHOICE
The plaint of President Ripley that
the stockholders of the Santa Fe rail
road are starving on dividends of loss
than 3 per cent per annum meets with
little sympathy from Col. Stubbs, who
figures it out that instead of 3 per cent
the Santa Fe has earned an average o
60 per cent per annum for the past tea
vears. And the people continue to pay
the freight. Clay Center Times.
, SAVING WORK.
Bill Misklmmons is a cheerful fellow.
He says he only plowed his corn once
as he 'lowed the crop would not be a
big one anyway and it would save him
lot of work at busking time. iseue-
Ville Telescope.
FROM OTHER PENS
QUEER BANKING.
That wrecked Milwaukee Avenue
banK in Chicago seems to have been a
one-man-institution. Stensland, tho
president, was the whole game. He
sent for his cashier and told him to
make out a certain number of notes,
according to a memorandum. The
notes were turned over to him and la
ter he would hand them to the cashier
signed and indorsed, and they would
be placed to his credit and he would
draw checks upon them in his own
name. The cashier did not investi
gate the signatures. He took them on
faith. The notes piled up and up and
up until they amounted to more than
half a million, and then the cashier
began to worry and gently reminded
the president that something ought to
be done to reduce the "indebtedness."
Meanwhile the directors of this de
lectable institution were presumably
holding their monthy meetings and
passing upon the loans and discounts
arid scrutinizing the condition of the
bank. Unfortunately there is as yet
no mention of their manner of pro
cedure. Did they assemble around the
mahogany table and look at the presi
dent while he told them that every
thing was all right, and then, after
a brief chat about the chances of the
two Chicago baseball teams for the
pennants, pocket their golden fees and
wander off to attend to their own
business affairs? There is strong ex
ternal evidence that they did little
more than this.
How many other financial institu
tions are there in this country that
are run on these lines? Washington
Star.
LORIMER'S MAJORITY.
Secretary Wilson is traveling incog,
from place, to place inspecting abat
toirs, so we have had no opportunity
to get his views as to the significance
of the thumping majority Standpatter
Lorimer rolled up in the packing
house district. Washington Post.
IN GAY NEWPORT. -Newport's
chief caper this summer
is the wedding that society does not
hear about until the sweet by-and-by.
Springfield Republican.
MORE DANGEROUS.
It would be a great tiling for the czar
if some one could convince him that it
is better to have black type fired at
him than bombs. New York Mail.
JUST ABOUT.
There is about as much danger of a
war between the United States and
Mexico as there is that the inhabitants
of Mars will send an invading ramy
to this country. Dallas Times.
ONE GHOST LAID.
A Chicago man who tried to frighten
a friend bv playing ghost was struck
on the head with an ax, and now the
ghost won't walk for some tinri to
come. Indianapolis Star.
NOT ENTIRELY SAFE.
At any rate lynchers in the south
do not find their work as safe fm
annoying results as it used to be.
Jacksonville Times-Union.
onlyaTpen.
In some cases the charges against
the Ice trust seem to have melted
away. Baltimore Sun. j
f THE CORNER OF A HEART.
! One corner of her girlish heart she yield
ed first to me.
And halted there, because the rest wag
ui'icu, jou' see,
By tenants who were kin to her, and who
as you'll divine.
Through having dwelt there many years
had stronger claims than mine.
as sngnt concession e'en as this most
louu was 1 to win,
And with affection closely packed. I man
aged to move in;
Yet soon I found the quarters cramped,
and with a wooer's art
I coaxed an added portion to that corner
of her heart.
1 quite forget which one it was my spread
of love displaced
If Cousin John's or Uncle Will's heart-
lodgings were effaced
By this designng move of mine. But
someone, it is plain.
Lost out while I was winning the ex
pansion of domain.
And yet, the corner thus enlarged had
held me but a day
When, "Someone's got to move!" I vowed
"we're in each other's way!
Of tenants here you might transfer to
Memory r. part!
I'll have to have more room than just
one corner of your heart!"
The transfer was arranged, and oh, the
ripple of her laugh,
vvhen she avowed: "Your corner's grown
, nuL.it mure iimn na,ir
My heart you re occupying, dear, v" ou wel
knAW U, har V, ,
That all the other tenants, now, are
'well. more of them will' have to move!"
with candor I avowed.
While those whom you select to stay
..luL 0L111 muie cioseiy crowd:
And move they did (clear out at last),
which shows the greedy part
A man will play if he's allowed one cor
ner In n !
Roy Farrell Greene in Smart Set.
Seeing One's Own Country First.
"Going abroad" enjoys the prestige
of many generations and its paths are
deep rutted. It has lost all claim to
distinction, however, and nowadays is
not a thing to talk about nmono- vnnr
friends unless you wish to bore them
to distraction. The tourist party has
made the undertaking so common
place that to have whizzed thrniie-h
Europe implies neither a long purse
nor tne sngniest originality of intel
lect. I was once crossing in a steamer
which contained an average muster
roll of touring Americans. Those who
were making their first trip abroad
and felt inclined to put on some small
airs about it were speedily cowed and
abashed. They found that most of
their fellow voyagers had crossed from
tnree to ten times, and that the only
passenger who enjoyed the slightest
distinction was a veteran who was do
ing his twenty-sixth "run across the
pond."
Far be it from me to decry the en
lightening advantages of sightseeing
in the Old World, where age, tradition
and the novel aspect of people and
things arouse the imagination and re
fresh the tired mind. But for one
American who returns in a wholly re
freshed and satisfied condition, I will
find you another who will confess to
numberless irritations because of petty
and organized swindles and extortions
waged against the yankee in a strange
land, and to futile annoyance over bad
hotels, poor railway service and a civil
ity that is won and held only on a cash
basis.
Largely because it has been possible
for the man of moderate income to
spend one or two months abroad for
a considerably smaller outlay than he
could tour his own country, he puts
"seeing America" last instead of first,
and it has been uphill work to induce
people who travel to listen to the
claims of the undiscovered land toward
the Golden Gate. It has come to pass,
however, that the journey from New
York to California is considered worth
talking about as much as the trip to
London or Paris, and there are grounds
for hope that at no far distant time the
average American with money and
time for a summer or winter holiday
will take pains to study his own land
before he flies to the nearest steam
ship office to get a sailing schedule. -Stuart
L. Douglas in The Outing
Magazine.
The Bigness of Brazil.
Brazil has an area or 3,280,000
square miles, or that of the United
States with half of Alaska added. This
Is. approximately, five-sixths of the
whole of Europe or almost one hun
dred times the size of the mother
country. Compared even with Aus
tralia, Brazil not only holds her own,
but has a surplus area that would
overlap the state of Texas, while on
her own continent she almost equals
the combined areas of the other twelve
republics and colonies, one-half of
Argentina only having to be deducted.
This wiil readily be apparent on con
sulting an atlas, as will the equally as
tonishing statement that her extreme
length from north to south is approxi
mately thirty-eight and one-half de
grees, or the distance from the north
ern extremity of Maine to the coast of
Venezuela.
Finally, dividing the land area of
the new world by language into Eng
lish, Spanish and Portuguese (which
Includes all but Haiti and the small
colonial holdings of France, Holland
and Denmark,) we arrive at the fol
lowing remarkable facts: The United
States with Alaska, Canada including
the islands within the Arctic circle.
Newfoundland, British Guiana, British
Honduras, and the various British
islands of the West Indies make a to
tal of 4S per cent of the whole; the
eighteen Spanish-speaking republics,
with Porto Rico, 30 per cent, Brazil
alone making up the remainder, or 22
per cent. And yet, to the average
American, the Portuguese language Is
regarded practically as a negligible
quantity, while many of our exporters
complacently classify Brazil as Spanish-speaking,
regarding it, no doubt,
like French Guiana, as too unimpor
tant to occupy a place by itself. From
"The United States of Brazil, the
Great Republic of the Tropics," by
G. M. D, Brown and Franklin Adams,
in the American Monthly Review cf
Reviews.
Short Life and a Merry One.
Of the great scholar and writer,
George Buchanan, the 400th anniver
sary of whose birth is being celebrated
today, it is related that he was told
by his doctors 4;hat if he abstained
from wine he might live five or six
years, and that if he continued to
drink he could hold out three weeks
at longest.
"Get you gone," he exclaimed, "with
your prescriptions and your courses
of diet, and know that I would rather
live three weeks and be drunk every
day than six years without drinking
wine."
He was asVood as his word. "Hav
ing discharged his physicians Tike a
desperate man he ordered a hogshead
of graves wine to be set at his bed's
head, resolved to see the bottom of it
before he died, and he carried himself
so valiantly that he emptied it to the
lees." Blackwood's Magazine.
Future Possibility.
"Waiter bring me some iodoform soup,
agerm proof steak, and some sterilized
potatoes."
"Yes. sah. What'U you have to drink,
sah?"
"I gues3 I'll have a cup of antiseptic
tea. And, by the way, tell the barkeep
to fix me a Hsterlne cocktafl for an ap
petiser." Milwaukee Sentinel.
THE EVENING STORY jj
Eleanor and the Grafter.
(By Harriet Batchelor Bradner.)
The day Eleanor Beverly had been in
her position as Cornwell's secretary six
months something happened. The po
litical boss of his precinct, MeWilliams,
having made an engagement over the
telephone, paid the young lawyer a visit
at lunch hour, when the place was prac
tically deserted.
Having carefully closed -the door be
hind him, he settled his huge bulk In a
chair and came at once to business.
"Mr. Cornwell, we need your support
in the coming election," he began, im
pressively. "If a man of your sterling
worth comes out for our candidate it
will settle the vote of the majority."
"Impossible!" returned Cornwell, de
cidedly. "As I have repeatedly told
your agents, I do not approve of your
selection and cannot conscientiously
vote for him. As to the influence of my
decision, you greatly overestimate it."
"See here, Cornwell, we've got to have
you with us! Lipper is all right. Man,
you're prejudiced unjustly prejudiced.
Why, he's the most inoffensive fellow
harmless as a kitten!"
"That's my opinion of Mr. Lipper ex
actly,", observed Cornwell, ' smiling
grimly. "Inoffensive, harmless, unable
to say 'no!' A weak tool in the hands
of unscrupulous politicians."
"Hey? What's that about unscrupu
lous politicians?" MeWilliams' bulging
eyes, glared savagely. "This ain't no
subject to be treated without gloves."
The two men looked into each other's
eyes for the space of a second, the one
angry and uncomfortable, the other
calm and undisturbed. Then MeWil
liams leaned forward and began in a
confidential undertone:
"Look here, Cornwell, I don't mind
confessing to you that we're up a stump.
Lippers is a regular frost, but if we
fail to elect him there'll be no end of
money lost."
"Which a good natured alderman,
once elected, will see to returning, of
course," interrupted the lawyer, dryly.
"I'm glad you catch the drift of my
remarks so quickly." MeWilliams'
smile was comprehensive and bland.
"Yes, I follow you perfectly, but you
haven't my sympathy." Cornwell look
ed him straight in the eye. "Mr. Me
Williams, you knew before you came
here that I wasn't open to bribery!"
And he settled back in his chair.
The boss of the precinct emitted an
ugly smile. Fumbling in an inner coat
pocket, he drew out an envelope and
extracted from it a canceled check.
"I tried to persuade you gentle," he
said; "now we'll see what pressure can
do," and still holding the smile, he
handed Cornwell the check.
"Well, what of it?" he asked, after a
brief examination.
"What of it!" exclaimed MeWilliams
in exasperation. "What of a check for
$5,000 to you from Hendricks 'Hen
dricks the Grafter'?"
The young man flushed angrily.
"And so you purpose to show this as
proof that Hendricks bought me In
some deal for $5,000," he said, the
color creeping away from his lips as he
recognized the false position into
which the presence of the check forced
him. "Mr. MeWilliams. you know bet
ter than that!" Even the well seasoned
boss shrank a little from his anger.
"Some time aro Mr. Hendricks hur
riedly entered my office and begged me
to lend him $5,000 in cash to close out
a real estate deal, as he said. He ex
plained that the owner was leaving Im
mediately for the west, and as it was
after banking hours, refused to receive
a check. As you know, we handle a
great deal of ready money here, so I
gave him the amount he wanted and
took his check for $5,000. Had the
light subseouently thrown on his char
acter Illuminated Mr. Hedrleks at the
time I would unhesitatingly have re
fused his request. This, Mr. McWil
llama, is the explanation of that check
facts with which you are doubtless
alreadv acquainted.
"Indeed! Let me advise you, my
friend, to reconsider your vote while
it is possible." The politician's tone
w.-,s insultingly familiar. "This little
f-iry tale would sound rather flimsy be
fore a jury. I fancy," and he crossed
his feet leisurely and brushed an
imaginary speck from his broad knee.
Cornwell rose stiffly to his feet. His
eyes were dark with anger and his
muscular hands clasped and unclasped
in an effort of self-control.
"So your plan Is to frighten me into
submission, eh?" he said, his voice ring
ing with contempt. "Well, it won't
work. I don't scare worth a , even
at a charge of bribery!" and his fine
lips curled.
MeWilliams leaned back in his chair,
his pudgy thumbs hooked in the arm
holes of his waistcoat. "Who'll prove
your story to a Jury?" he asked inso
lently. His eyes narrowed to furtive
slits. "Who'll prove it, I say?"
"I will," answered the ringing voice
of a girl; "I will!"
With a violent exclamation of Irrita
tion, the grafter sprang to hia feet and
Cornwell, wheeling, looked straight into
the shining eyes of Eleanor Beverly,
who stood just within the door.
"I knocked, but hearing no sound,
supposed no one was here." she said to
him, breathlessly. Then her ey.es trav
eled to the other man, and she spoke:
"You are the grafter, MeWilliams. I
have been waiting for you to come."
"You surprise me."
"I expect to surprise you still fur
ther." Miss Beverly replied, easily. "Mr.
Cornwell," she continued quickly, "two
months ago I sat behind this man and a
friend of his on a trolley."
MeWilliams lunged forward, his eyes
predatory and threatening.
"They both had been drinking and
were talking rather loudly, I heard them
speaking your name and lauEhing over
a trick the other man had played on
you a trick that put your honor In
their hands. They spoke of the check"
Cornwell set his teeth, and his eye
blazed "and told how they expected ta
use it as a weapon over your head In
the election. I listened because I knew
I could help you."
"Why didn't you tell me of this be
fore?" Cornwell asked eairerly. "Why
did you keep it to yourself?"
"I you" the girl hesitated, her lips
trembling In embnrrassmeiit. "you had
so much to worry you at the time that
I I thought I could watch alone." she
finished hurriedlv. "Nothing could b
done till he" pointing "made the first
move." Looking at the man she had
protected, for a sign of approval, she
saw in his eyes a look that sent a quiver
of joy into the secret places of her
heart, making the warm blood surge
into her cheeks.
MeWilliams looked fixedly Into her
radiant eyes and his own face slowly
flushed.
"There was a time once. when, if the
girl had loved me or, well," and he
shook his huge shoulders helplessly
"Cornwell, It was a dirty trick. If the
apology of a man like me amounts to
anything. I do so, humbly. It was this
young girl who saved you a very oad
other one and I see that you've gaT
sense enough to appreciate it. I wish it
was you that was on the ticket. Well,
I won't keep you from tellin' her any
longer," and he went out and closed tho
door behind him.
HUMOR OF THE DAY
"Which side do you wish your hair
combed on?" asked the barber, who ap
peared to be trying to make a hole in the
customer's head with his comb.
"On the outside, please." Pittsburg Dis
patch. "Yes," said Mr. Vane, "I admit I'm
somewhat conceited. It's a bad fault."
"Not only that," replied Miss Peppery,
"but it also Indicates very bad taste."
Philadelphia Press.
Jack And after we are married, dar
ling, the love lights will still linger in
your eyes.
Eva Yes, but the love lights won't stop
the gas bill from coming every montH, my
dear. Chicago News.
"Say, paw."
"Well, son?"
"What is meant by running gear?"
"A woman's tongue, my son." Milwau
kee Sentinel.
Knlcker I think the world owes every
man -a living.
Bocker Perhaps, but he baa to take it
out in trade. N. Y. Sun.
"Yes, I'd be willing to get married if I
could only get a wife who was economical
and"
"My dear boy, no woman is ever econ
ical. She's either extravagant or stingy."
Philadelphia Press.
"The Brlggs" honeymoon is over."
"What makes you think so?"
"When they go out together on a rainy
day now, each carry their own umbrella."
American Spectator.
Towne Luckey doesn't have to work
hard, that's certain.
Browne How do you know that?
Towne Because he gets a large salary.
Philadelphia Press. ,A
Cholly I love your sister, Johnny.
Johnny This Is so sudden, Mr. Softly,
but I can not be a brother to you. New
York Sun.
"Gents," said the trolley car conductor,
"you mustn't stand on the back plat
form. Yer breaking the rules."
"Some of 'em ain't," piped up the little
man; "they're standing on. my feet."
Catholic Standard and Times.
Teacher Can any one tell me what a
palmist is?
Scholar I know, teacher. It's a woman
Judy.
Prudent Aunt You should not be in too
big a hurry selecting a husband, my dear.
I don't think much of the young men of
today.
Ethel Yes, but many a girl remains sin
gle all her life by waiting for the young
men of tomorrow. Chicago News.
Belle (in Stock Exchange gallery)
What a hubbub! Vthy don't they sit
down and rest?
Maude Oh. It's too expensive. Richard
told me that a seat there costs thousands
of dollars. Boston Transcript.
. '"Jes- that steam yacht over there has
lost three owners within the past two
years.
"Dear. dear. Water Is a very treach
ereous element."
,4,"Wa,ter! 11 tsn'1 water that kills 'em
it s the other stuff." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
". ioun$ him in very much broken spir
its. "Then I'll bet they were brandy smash
es. Baltimore American.
-Mrs. Naybor What Is your husband's
pursuit in life?
Mrs. Subburbs The seven-forty train.
Judj-.
Kennedy They do be some talk av im
porthin Chinese labor f r to dig th' Pany
maw canal.
Dorgan They do? Thin, begobs, I don't
blame th heathens fr preparin' fr war!
Puck.
Telephone Girl Double nine six nine fa
busy just now.
Mrs. Laziman (at the other end of the
Wire) You must have mnrte a Tyifit4v.
That's mv husban's numher nnrl y,c'a
er been busy in his life. Chicago Tribune.
"Faith will move mountains," declared
the optimistic citizen.
. "No doubt," responded the practical cit
izen, but will It prove equally efficacious
In excavating Isthmian canals?" Phila
delphia Bulletin.
Rodney You weren't vexed that I told
your good story, were you, Sidney? Ev
erybody laughed moderately.
Sidney Of couse, not; I told It myself
just before you came in. Brooklyn LIfe
"So. P2F,!e Jed has rone! Sad blow.
wam t it ?
"Yes. He ought to have known that the
to Put out the gas was to turn it
off. Chicago Tribune.
Smith (who has been abroad) Is youn
Huggins still paying attention to you?
daughter?
Jones No; they are married now. Chi
caeo News.
"I noticed you started to smoke last
r.'KnLwhen Mi',s Lovey was entertaining
Mr. Sloman," remarked the piano stool
"Yes," replied the parlor lamp, "I saw
she was just waiting for an excuse to
turn me down." Philadelphia Ledger.
Mr. Wraggs Kind gent, could yer heln
a poor fellow out o' work?"
Mr. Baggs You don't need any hein in
that direction." Cleveland Leader.
"Did your husband ever bet on a win
ning horse?"
"Oh, yes," answered young Mrs. Tor
kins, "ail the horses Charley bets on win
at some time or another." Washlngtoa
Star.
"He and she are both very wealthy mo
everybody says it's a bright matrimonial
match, of course."
"Ah. Yes, one of the sort that light
onlv on the monev-ho-r " TVini.v.i-
Press. '
Your son won a prize for oratory while t
he was in college, I believe. What is he.
do!n now?"
"He's got a lob in the union rfenrt an.
nouncing the departure of the trains."
vaicago xtecora-neraia.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Some people impress us, and other
oppress us.
At a wedding; the best man can't
always prove it.
Society is hollow. At least It take n.
good bit to feed it.
Some fellows never make a stand so
long as they can run.
If it wasn't for a wife's cooking
many a man wouldn't have anything
to kick about.
He who would feed at a summer re
sort hotel must also see that the wait
er is ieeo.
The girl who fishes for a husha,
should remember that the biggest fish
always get away.
Next to our love affairs an automo
bile is about the hardest thing in the
world to regulate.
Nell "Mr. Sapheadde seems much
Improved mentally," Belie "Yes I
gave him a piece of my mind the other
aay.
"You can lead a horse to water hut
you can't make him drink," quoted'
the Wise Guy. "On the other hand "
retorted the Simple Mug, "you can
lead an actor before the curtain, hut
you can't keep him from mai's
ah - - .
V