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THS TOFSKA- DAILY STATS 3OTRI7AS MOITPAY SYEITIiTCI, -DECEHBEB ' S, 1903.
TCFERi STATE JOUItML Dy FRANK P. MAC LEXXAS. IKntered Julv 1. 1S75. as second class nutter at the postcrTiet at Topeka. Kbju under the act of congress ) VOLUME XXXIII No. 290 Oilicial 1'nper City of TvM-ka. Official 1'apcr Kansas Stato fceaeratlon Wumeu'n Ciuba. TERMS OF SUBSCKIPTION. n.n. -.ati. hv carrier. 10 cents a week to any part of Topeka, or suburbs, or at the same price in any Kan sas towns where the paper ha a carrier system. Hv mall. ow rir an By mail, three months Saturday Mmr f rtnHv. one year.... i justness Office.. J"" JCI Business Office . J"?: IZL Reporters' Room PeJl 6ZI Kenorters' Room J"- , PEKMANKNT HOME. Topeka State Journal building. WX and -'2 Kansas avenue, corner of Eighth. New York office: Flatlron buildlne. at Twenty-third street, corner Fifth avenue and Broadway. Patil Block, manager. Chicago office: 1540 Unity building. Paul Bioefc. mannarer. 1.K.ASF1) VVIItK REPOKT OF TliR ASSOC! A TKT 'RTSS. The State Journal Is a member of the Associated Press and receives the full day telegraph report ot that rreat news or ganization for the exclusive afternoon P"h'lcntion in Topeka. The news Is received fn The State Jour nal buildi.-s over -vires for this sole pur rose. Wonder what's happening down In Cuba? There's been no news from the ahort lived republic for many days. Xealers In gold braid will be among those who are sure to approve of the proposal to create two vice admiral Ehips In the XT. S. navy. That was a fine piece of work per formed by the bandit, who failed In his attempt to rob a bank at Bendena, when he killed himself. One notable feature of the industrial Situation at this time is a labor short age and a general Increase In wages. Perhaps one explains the reason for the other. One would naturally think that Mark Twain could have found a more enjoy able and profitable way of celebrating his seventy-first birthday than by play ing pool all afternoon. They're not all dead yet. A num ber of men have banded together to find the $1,500,000 in gold that went to the botton of the sea off Mexico when the ill fated Golden Gate burned in 1S62. This governing of cities by a com mission may be the real thing, but 11 will be terribly tough on the politi cians. Some of them around here act ually may have to go to work for a living If It is adopted. "Would or could Japan defeat the United States In a sea fight?" is a ques tion that some alarmists are asking these days. The answer may be found In the fact that few pupils are able to lick their teachers on any proposition. From the talk floating around one would think quite naturally that about the only thing the Kansas legislature meets for this season is to elect a man to the United States senate. This real ly ought to be but an incident of the session. An element of the Democracy of Chicago would like to see Carter Har rison run for mayor again, and the chances are he will. He must feel like a fish in a frying pan to be out of the mayoralty chair, and Chicago seems to miss him much. Such a variety of views is express ed as to what sort of a primary law ehould be passed at the coming session f the legislature, that it would seem almost Impossible to get enough legis lators thinking any one way to pass any sort of primary legislation. Past efforts having exemplified the verbosity of President Roosevelt when he takes his pen in hand, it is safe to Bay that if every word in his proposed special message on the Panama canal could be turned into a steam shovel, the big cut would be dug in about a day and a half. A couple of columns of the Chicago Tribune are devoted each day to "How I was bunkoed" by the victims. There Is lots of food for the thought for the unwary, the easy marks, in these tales. Bad to say, a majority of the "victims" got fllmflammed out of their savings by answering advertisements in news papers. A Union Thanksgiving service of sev eral New York churches with negro congregations resolved Itself into a con demnation meeting with Mr. Roosevelt as the target because of his arbitrary discharge of three companies of soldiers for the crimes of a few of them. His "square deal-' was likened to having a few round corners. Whether or not Chester Gillette took the life of Grace Brown, he does not deserve to live or at least to live in a country where men make their homes. His own stcry, that although a good swimmer, he made no effort to save the girl from drowning when the boat capsized because he was so intent on saving himself, stamps him as to the sort of a creature he is. Probably Colonel W. A. Harris of fered up a few thanks on the quiet last week that he did not get a few thousand more votes. If he had, he would be working hard and working long these days on the unsolvable problem of dividing up a few offices to the satisfaction of a thousand or so "state figures" in the Democratic par ty who have not fed at the public crib for many a long and weary day. Will congress have the nerve to pass legislation compelling some of the few ispartments of the government which ire beyond the pale of executive Juris diction, notably the supreme court, to use the phonetc spelling which is so la.r to the heart of Mr. Roosevelt? X course if such a law is passed the august judges of the court have Teddy on the hip and can stand on their prerogative and declare it unconstitu tional. NATIONS MUCH ALIKE. Those slight controversies between Japan and America over the depre dations of poachers at the Seal Is lands and over the local administra tion of California' schools have given some Russian newspapers, and even a few Jingoes in this country, oppor tunity to remark though with little judgment or justice, that these two close friends are already quarrelling and are nearing an open and fatal breach. At the same time there are reports that China is much dissatisfied with the conduct of Japan in Man churia and that a Chinese boycott of Japanese commerce is imminent. The two incident!! are disconnected, entirely but they are alike suggestive of a single fact, namely, that all the nations of the earth are much alike in some of their traits and motives. The idea that Japan and America were .so closely united that no contro versy could ever arise between them was once put forward but was foolish. Equally foolish Is the notion that a con troversy between them indicates an end of such friendship as has existed. The two nations are close friends. They have long been such, and it is to be hoped that they will be always. But their relatives are subject to the same minor vicissitudes of fortune as those of other nations. It is the same with China and Jap an. Some have been insisting that there was an impregnable solidarity between them which constituted a "yellow peril" to all the rest of the world. Japan was going to take the lead of China and the two would act as one nation. But now it is seen that China is as ready to boycott Japan as she was to boycott the United States, and that the relations between them are no closer, despite their ra cial affinity, than between one of them and some other nation. The fact is that in some respects all nations are alike. Each seeks its own interest, though none is incapable of regarding and cherishing tho interests of others. Japan and the United States are warm friends but that does not mean that one will permit citizens of the other to transgress its laws or to infringe its rights. Japan and China are friends, and blood relations, but that will not prevent one of them from seeking even closer ties with some other nation, if its interests dictate such a course. That is the principle which should be borne in mind al ways whenever there is talk about al liances, antagonisms or "yellow" or other perils. NEWSPAPERS VXD BOSSES. An editorial in Leslie's Weekly deal ing with the subject of newspapers and political bosses contains this para graph: The typical political boss has no real friendship for newspapers, anyway, and no use for them except as he can make them serve his purposes. Every genuine newspaper man will be glad to be rid of him. The new and better system of securing nominations will also add to the business patronage of the press in the shape of political ad vertising. In the west and south, where the new primary election sys tem has been most generally adopted, the newspapers have a regular rate for candidates' announcements, and are thereby adding substantially to their incomes. This is a far better plan for all parties concerned than the "free puff" system so common in days past, and it ought to be generally adopted. The rule is good here, as elsewhere, that what is worth having at all is worth paying for. Commenting most pertinently on this the Baltimore News says: "We think Leslie's Weekly takes a very narrow view of a broad question. Newspaper men who understand the functions and the opportunities of newspapers are not actuated by mo tives of resentment growing out of the tyranny cf the boss in his dealings with them: nor are newspapers seriously concerned about the almost insignifi cant revenue that would come to them from candidates inserting their an nouncements among the advertise ments instead of in the reading matter columns. "The view that newspapers are busi ness institutions is a perfectly correct one, but not in the narrow sense Indi cated by Leslie's Weekly. Newspapers that know their duty, and do it, are displacing the political boss by stirring the people into activity in politics. The independent press is developing along these lines in every American city, and its fitness to perform the function of political leadership is more and more recognized all the time by Intelligent observers. These journalistic activities rest upon a sound business basis, or else they could not be expected to be permanent. Every newspaper that makes itself an intelligent and fearless champion of the public interest can be sure cf the respect and esteem of its readers. And this Is the real founda tion of journalistic establishment. The expenditures of a modern dally news paper are so great that the revenue derived from the announcements of candidates, or any other political ad vertising, is but a trifling item. Pros perous newspapers owe their prosper ity to the great volume of mercantile advertising, which is shrewdly placed in papers that enjoy and deserve public confidence because of their enterprise, reliability and faithfulness in the per formance of their duties." SOME GOOD ILLINOIS LAW. According to a decision of the Ap pellate Court of Illinois, municipalities In that state have a legal right to pass as ordinance providing a fine for minors who visit saloons and dram shops. The case in which this de cision was made came from the town of Lewiston where a village ordinance had been passed making it a mis demeanor, punishable by a fine or im prisonment for a term of days for a male under aje to be found in a sa loon. Several boys were arrested un der this act and the lower courts dis missed the eases against them on the ground that the ordinance was not valid. The appellate court has re versed this decision and holds that municipalities have the right to enact laws which will protect young men who may be enticed into saloons or congregate there of their own volition, by bringing them to their senses through punishment for their folly. It's a pretty good Interpretation of law that has been laid down by the high tribunal of Illinois. It's the sort of law that will work for the benefit of the growing generation in Illinois. It will have a most corrective effect In keeping the youths away from saloons and the vices that are engendered in them. Too bad, to say the least, is it, that some of the same sort of regulations can not be put in force by the au thorities of many, if not all, of the municipalities in Kansas. Few, how ever, of the municipal officers of Kan sas towns are willing to admit these days that rumshops exist within their confines. It is not reasonable to sup pose, therefore, that they would or could pass regulations which might relate in any way to the management of joints and saloons, the existence of which they are not willing to acknowl edge, even though such regulations would help to prevent a large number of young boys from starting on their way to the dogs. There is no doubt that many of the joints and saloons of Kansas are pa tronized by, and the meeting places of, youths from fifteen years of age up. In fact a good many of these nefarious places owe whatever prosperity they enjoy to the patronage of youngsters. How long does anyone suppose it would take to keep the minors, at least, away from the joints and sa loons if the police had the authority, and used it. to arrest them for merely being found in these places, whether they were intoxicated or not? A few arrests, and a few fines or short im prisonments imposed, and the work would be accomplished. It would be a work of incalculable benefit to each and every commonwealth in the state, and to the offenders most of all. It is like a dream of the millennium to hope that such a salutary condition might prevail in the cities and towns of Kansas under existing conditions. Legalized rumshops have some few advantages in that they, their pro prietors and their patrons can be con trolled in other ways than by impos ing a fine of $5 or $10, or so mans days in jail, on unfortunates who e.re picked up drunk on the streets and haled to police courts to answer for an offense which they never would have been able to commit if the ma jesty of the prohibitory law was up held to the letter. So far it has not seemed possible to enforce literally a prohibitory law in Kansas or any other state where It is on the statute books. JOURNAL ENTRIES Some folks are drawing their faces into knots of distress and predicting a hard winter. As a matter of fact in a few weeks spring, gentle spring will be here. Without doubt billposters are the landscape artists of a city, and like many of the real landscape artists their work Is anything but beautiful. The season of the merry amateur minstrel is at hand and the chances are that a good many of the things albeled Jokes which they will toss to pat ient and long suffering audiences will not be understood even by themselves. A dressmaker looks on the purchase of theater tickets as a business invest ment. Through them she gets to see some of the creations turned out by her rivals, and incidentally grabs a few of their ideas. . . If a good many of the- girls around these parts, and by "girls" is meant females ranging in age from 16 to 60 years, used a little less rouge and pow der, and more soap and water on their faces, their complexions would be more pleasing to look upon. A new broom generally sweeps clean but it is also apt to miss a lot of good dust. A Caney man recently killed a rat that was half white and half black. And he was strictly sober, too. Fred H. Wilbur must be the Little Bo-Peep of El Dorado, at any rate when he came home from New Mexico he had 2,000 sheep following him. Howard claims a cornhusker who husked an average of 103 bushels of corn a day for 14 days. And How ard does not claim to be in the corn belt. Thirty-seven families frpm Iowa and Nebraska will locate in Lyon county before spring, and the Em poria Gazette says the poorest one i3 bringing with him J 7,000. Plain, everyday, ordinary robbers and sand baggers are so thick in Cow ley county these days, says Tom Left wlch, that the millionaire cut-ups hardly get any showing at all. Reports come from McPherson that ten thousand rabbits were marketed In that town one day last week. Fortu nately It is not necessary to believe all the reports which are circulated. Two young men called on a Parsons woman to rent a room of her. One complained that he had on tight shoes, so he rested below while the landlady took the other man upstairs to inspect the rooms. They did not rent them, and later the woman missed five dollars from the room where the tirht shoe man had "rested." "The average farmer," says a Kan sas editor, "can tell you the age of every horse, cow and pig on his farm; can tell you the day and date when he got through planting corn and putting up hay, and the time to the very day when the old roan cow is expected to be fresh. But if you want to cause him to forge1, anything he ever knew, just ask him the age of one cf his children." Senator S. M. Porter has left Caney for New York for the purpose of se curing funds with which to build the Cherrvvale, Oklahoma Central & Southwestern railroad. Being some thing of a modest man he is only looking for $40,000,000 for this pur pose. Here is hoping that he gets it. for the construction of such a road will mean much to the development of southeastern Kansas. JAYHAWKER JOTS KANSAS COMMENT A FEARFUL CHARGE. Judge Hutchinson, who retires from the bench in western Kansas, makes a most hideous charee aeainst the Demo crat Who Will ho hl sur-r- that ought to be investigated by the nexi legislature. He says that the new juage introduced eastern Kansas politi cal methods In the fnmrwiltrn nnd won He is very indignant. He ought to be. Just think of the pure in heart politic ally like the bu neb. in western Kansas, being made helpless by methods that have been used, in this part of the state. Know anything about western Kansas puuLiciansr Lawrence Journal. JIM nRB'S r-TTOTfTT! Attorney General Coleman announces that there will be no more ouster suits filed at present. .That allows Jim Orr, of Atchison, an opportunity to read U"JU' Jvernardy of Leavenworth and Mayor Ross of Wichita a lecture on how to conduct a town. Salina Journal. A SENSIBLE VIEW. -ie junction City Union takes a very sensible view of the ouster nro ceedlngs filed against the mayor of "Ml town rjy Attorney General Cole man. The Union says that Mayor O Donnell is not to blame for condi tions there, but the people who elected him. It was the liberal element which selected him for mayor, and he was chosen practically without opposition. Now that the state has taken action against the "liberal party" it is the uutj ot ail citizens to unite In sub mission to the law and seek to enforce the law. It declares that Mayor O'Donnell will be one of the foremost to accept the verdict, and act in hnr rnony with the attorney general. Sa- UNNECESSARY ALARM. A d!spatch from Guthrie says that the liquor men are alarmed over de velopments in the organization of the Constitution,-! 1 Cftnronfinn WViir the liquor men feel alarmed? Any enemy to prohibition will tell you that more liquor is sold under prohibition law than there would be either under lOCal OOtion rir Viin-H Hr-onco Vrvn never heard any one argue against pjuuiuiiion in ivansaa mat aid not de clare that more liquor is sold in this state than there is in Missouri. If the constitutional convention in Oklahoma decided on local option or high license the liquor men can sell all they want, and if it decides in favor of prohibition they can sell more than if either high license or local option were adopted. Why should the liquor men take any interest In the matter? Emporia Ga zette. COMING INTO HER OWN. "All money that is to be spent ih the two Kansas Cltys within the next ten years will be expended west of the Kaw river." This is the strong statement of a real estate buyer who came here re cently to negotiate for factory sites. This prophecy was made after he. in company with several other real estate men, had made a tour of the city and had Investigated the conditions and had sized up its possibilities. Although such an assertion comes with some surprise at first, it must be admitted that it Is fully Justified both by the conditions as they really exist and by a review of the past few years. From Kansas and the southwest, Kansas City. Mo., has drawn the most of her riches and she has drawn them past this city. Indications are that within a few years Kansas City, Kan., will be so large and .formidable that this influx of wealth can neither pass by nor through, but w'ill be held there. The fact that the population of Kansas City, Kan., had a larger actual increase last year than the city across the state line, also speaks ' well for the : fulfill ment 'Of the prophecy. Kansas City, Kan.; Globe. j FROM OTHER PENS SMUGGLED. Patience: "You say she's a great stickler for Sunday observance?" Patrice: "Indeed she Is! Why, she recently returned from Europe, and the steamer landed on Sunday, and she would not pay any duty on her dresses because it was Sunday." "But how could she avoid paying the duty?" 'Why, she didn't let thecustoms of ficers know that she had anything du tiable!" Yonkers Statesman. ANOTHER REBUKE. No doubt Jimmy Hazen Hyde of Paris looks on the election of his in quisitor, Cha-rles E. Hughes, as an other personal affront. Denver Re publican. SO FEW? "There are ten thousand profes sional criminals in New York," mod estly concedes a Gotham newspaper. These figures must have been secured from the census of 1S1U. New Or leans Times-Democrat. EARNING THE MONEY. All the satisfaction the Standard Oil company can get out of it at present is furnished by the fact that its array of legal talent is earning its money. Washington Past. INNOCENTS ABROAD. It is as pleasing to learn from the lips of Mr. Harriman himself that Mr. Harriman controls no railroads as it was to learn that John D. Rockefeller has had no interest in the Standard Oil company for several years. Balti more American. PEACE BY THE BOOK ROUTE. Mr. Andrew Carnegie enters an em phatic denial of the truth of the report that he has promised $1,000,000 to Representative Richard Bartholdt of Missouri to promote the cause of in ternational arbitration. This laird of Skibo castle no doubt believes that the best way to promote peace on earth and good will among men is to keep on in his chosen industry of setting up libraries wherever he may be allowed to do so. Baltimore News. A HEARSTVICTORT. Hearst beat young Pulitzer in a fist fight at St. Louis. Well, it must be some comfort to win something once in awhile. Denver Republican. GRANDDADDY OF 'EM ALL. You see the tracks of Standard Oil everywhere. It is the sleek, bald-headed granddaddy of all the little trusts. At lanta Constitution. SURELY A CRYING NEED. Drinkable alcohol which would not produce denatured men might meet a much-felt need. Cleveland Leader. THEY ARE LOCATED. "Where are all the 'Florodora' girls?" asked an exchange. Probably living in Pittsburg. Rochester Po4t-Express. SUCCESS TO HER. A Southern girl has opened a law of fice in Washington, probably for the advancement of women's patent rights. Louisville Courier-Journal. SONGS OF SCHOOLDAYS. Wuns wenn we had a picknick fore owr Kiass In sunde skool but everybuddy hass to be a skollur lor too weeks befoar soze thay kood go the sunde skool got moar noo skoliurs than it eavur had but wenn the picknlcks over It dropt off agenn until they have anuther wun ur wee are goen to have a sKollurs knsmuss tree with preasunts fore us awl and sumway men the boys awl heer uv it ann Join agenn. ann if uve got pi in ure lunch at skool ure onie popular ann uz a rule ure frlenda draw klose ann asf if you woani pieese too talk a mckul ur a Deece uv eheeze. becaws they've got so mutch ann then uve sott to offer um a bite uv pi soze nott to seme to want it awi urseif ann wenn itts gone around um awl ann back agenn thares hardly enny left but u are giadu u gave um awl a taste uv wott u hadu. ann hennry beamus sedd it onley shoze how far a Iittul bit uv kindness goze. with boys an thade be twice uz good if may are only tott ann treeted in the wav they otto be, ann he sedd reddy brown belongs to all the sunde skooIs in town ann goze to all the picnlcks soze to gett the bennefitt uv beein good ann yet sum boys he noze are like the heethen larr ann doant no wott a blesscn sutch things New York Times. The Stockings by the Hearth. Two thrilling moments fill the hom-i with rapture and set the children on tiptoe in a flutter of enthusiasm and excitement. One is the moment when the stockings are hung in a row beside the hearth. They must not be too close together, lest Santa Claus be In convenienced when he opens his pack and begins his task. There are lots of things that fit into a stocking from heel to toe, and make it bulge all the way from ankle to knee. J3ut there art bigger things, such as skates, sleds, toy velocipedes, desks, lovely dolls that have crossed the ocean and know ever so much about Paris or Vienna, If they could only talk and tell their secrets; books that a boy has been long ing for; rubber boots; In fact there are no end of perfectly delightful treasures that come into the house on Christmas eve and are found by their new owners on Christmas morning. They are too large to fill a stocking, and therefore a. little space must be left between the stockings of John and those of Mary; the stockings of Eleanor and those of Fred. As for father and mother, their stockings are always crammed with gifts that are fairly electric with chil dren's love. Ethel who is twenty-two, an age her little sister mentions with awe, found a diamond ring in the toe of her stocking last Christmas, and the children feel taller and prouder than their friends on the street, because soon alter the holidays Ethel is going to have a wedding day. Margaret E. Sangster in the Woman's Home Com panion. Once Was Enough. A negro had been appointed post master in a small Alabama town, but as there was an indication of some trouble.it was suggested to him that he appoint a white man as assistant. This was done, and things worked very well, the negro being postmaster In name only. It happened that a postoffice In spector came along one day and found the "postmaster" in a small back room sorting mall bags, while the assistant sat in the office proper, with his feet on a desk, smoking a cigar. "What are vou doing back here? Why don't you occupy your office?" the Inspector asKea in asioiusmriieui.. "Who? Me? No, sah." the official said, decidedly. "Ah dun try dat once de fus" day Ah was 'plnted, an' Mars Henry dat's de 'sistant postmaster he dun bus' er chair over mah haid, an' Ah hatter pay 4 5 cents ter git hit mended!" Ram s Horn. Foxy? Rather! The landlady, turned the postal card over, read its contents: "Friend Bill: Meet ua at the Hali- dorf at 9 tomorrow morning. We will automobile to Tuxedo, and go up in the new balloon after lunch. "REGINALD ASTORBILT. She smiled softly to herself. "Why." she said. "I'd no idea! Such a plain-dressed young fellow, too! An 'to think I was Just goin' to turn him out for them eight weeks' back board!" Los Angeles Times. QUAKER REFLECTIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. Even a policeman may pinch him self to see if he is awake. The s'mple life appeals only to those who don't have to live it. If marriage is a lottery, alimony must ba a gambling debt. The most painful part of a surgical operation is gtvin-g up the money. Many a man's wealth consists of the money he Intended to save and didn't. Thanksgiving sees the Christmas numbers of the magazines already for gotten. The straw at which a drowning man clutches can't very well show which way the wind blows. Nell "She calls herself a new wo man." Belie "Gracious! She Isn't as old as that, is she?" The man who boasts that he can take a drink and leave it alone Is apt to treat his religion in the same way. Our socialistic friends shouldn't worrv about what is to become of the millionaires; let the automobiles at tend to them. Hoax "He went over Niagara Falls In a barrel and has been blind ever since." Joax "Ah, sot a cataract in his eye, I suppose." POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. Be thankful for the privilege of be ing on earth. Thanksgiving cheer often means free lunch and beer. Be thankful If you still occupy a seat on the water wagon. Even the turkeys are chicken-hearted about this time of year. A man can't be thankful If he's caught with the goods on him. Of course, the Thanksgiving dinner is a great institution, but don't overdo ii. Beauty unadorned isn't adorned the most in the case of a featherless tur key. Job was a sorely tried man, but if in addition to his own troubles he did n't have to listen to those of his neighbors he had something to be thankful for. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From the New York Press. A man could afford to give ten times as valuable an engagement ring if it was sure to be broken off. It would be a gratification to have an artist in the family if he could provide his own bread and butter. If a man could marry a rich wife as often as he can go to the racetrack he might win something some day. A girl thinks you are mlghv slow If you don't try to flirt with her, and says you are mighty fast If you do. THE EVENING STORY 1 Tlie Harrldan-Ormsley Elopement. (By Mary Wood.) Katrina Harridan was the sixth of seven daughters, red-haired, and un dersized but that did not prevent her from being a power In her world. At the Young Ladies' seminary she was the acknowledged leader as well as the most intimate friend of her twelve classmates, each of whom had the promise of being a bridesmaid at her wedding. In this they were prescient, since Thorndyke Ormsley had for some time made her the object of his atten tions. Thorndyke Ormsley did not altogeth er meet with the approval of the class. They thought him lacking in the dash and daring requisite for a suitable match for their president. Katrina, however, viewed the matter from a different standpoint. As she confided to her younger sister Pamela, "There is something restful in Thron dyke's conventionality. I always know just what to expect from him, and I fancy that I can furnish more of the element of the unexpected than is found In most orthodox families." She therefore smiled upon her ad mirer. It followed that she had been graduated but a few months when he made up his mind that to marry her was the only proper course of action. He was too well regulated a young man to propose to Katrina without having first spoken to her father. This was a procedure that the astute mor sel of girlhood had foreseen and ar ranged for. Mr. Harridan was a large comfortable gentleman who found it easier to be ruled than to rule. His seven daugh ters were at once the Joy and the dicta- tors of his life. He was in the habit of saying, "Give me girls every time they are the best of the lot. As for boys you can get all you want In the way of sons-in-law. I have acquired five in the last five years so I ought to know what I am talking about." Thorndyke Ormsley knew that he was an exceptional young man with ex ceptional prospects, and had therefore no unreasonable certainty of a satisfac tory interview with the amiable Mr. Harridan. He met with a refusal as unexpected as it was unexplainable. As he afterward complained to Ka trina, "I cannot understand it. Your father was brusque, nervous, quite un like himself. All that I could get him to say was that you were too young. and that he entirely disapproved. When I tried to argue. Pamela came in, and he intimated that the Interview was closed." Katrina buried her face in his shoul der. "Oh dear, oh dear!" she wailed. "What shall we do?" Thorndvke attempted to comfort her and he found the process so agreeable that he prolonged It for some moments before saying soothingly: "Do not be discouraged, dear. I will call on him again. He must be made to see reas on." As a happy thought struck him, 'Why don't you speak to him, your self? You girls have always seemed to get your way pretty thoroughly. He will say 'yes' to you." "He won't." Katrina s voice, tnougn smothered, was decisive. "Why not?" "Because I won't let him." Without giving her lover time to recover from the shock, she hurried on: "Papa has lost a great deal of money these last years. He has really a hard time to get along, so that another wedding is out of the question. You don't know what a wedding costs we have had five, so we do. There would be the presents and dresses for those twelve bridesmaids, the flowers, music, cater er, trousseau Oh. it is awful, and she clasped her hands despajringly. "Papa is always so good; he wanted to mort gage the house, but I said no. Light had begun to dawn upon Ormsley. "Let me, Katrina," he began. Two red spots appeared in Katrina's cheeks. "And have us all ashamed to look you In the face Never! Pamela and I have decided never to marry un less we elope." Thorndyke Ormsley stiffened. "That is impossible." Katrina began to cry in earnest. "1 always knw that you were proper, but I never thought you were so horribly proper that you cared more for what people would say than you did for me," she sobbed. Her lover could not resist her tears. "You know that I love you better than anything else in the world," he said, tenderly. "It is not entirely on my own account that I object there Is Aunt Harriet. She would be utterly scandal ized by an elopement. Is It right to dis tress her when she has done everything for me and I am all she has?" At this virtual capitulation, Katrina's tears ceased to flow. "Then If I get Aunt Harriet's consent you will be will ing to elope?" she asked guilelessly. "I would do anything to marry you," he answered with unusual recklessness. Katrina threw her arms around his neck. "Then It is as good as settled." "You don't know Aunt Harriet," Ormsley admonished. "Yes I do. And what is more, I wager that if you do exactly as I tell you, she herself will suggest an elope ment." So the two put their heads together. Most men would have wished them selves In Ormsley's place. He must have been sensible of his privileges for ho left the house more In love than ever and vowed to play his part in the com edy Katrina refused to admit the pos sibility of a tragedy. Miss Harriet Ormsley lived In a big old-fashioned house called "The Larch es." She had the only victoria In town, her butler always stood behind her chair at dinner, and her parlor-maid wore French caps. In all respects her establishment was most correct. But its rhythmic order and the mind of Its mistress were alike disturbed by the strange behaviour of young Mr. Orm sley. For three or four days he had eaten scarcely anything, although his aunt ordered his favorite dishes, and Jenkins served them to a nicety. In stead of going out of an evening he brooded over the fire or feverishly paced his room. His rapid footfalls could be heard long after the rest of the family had retired. Miss Harriet loved her nephew as she had his father before him. When he had successively refused to take a tonic, see a physician, or consider a sea trip, alarm overcame her usual stiffness and she implored an explana tion. Thorndyke gave it reluctantly. He loved Katrina Harridan. Katrina loved him.. Her father objected. That was the end of It. Miss Harriet listened in amazement. An Ormsley her nephew refused by a Harridan a mere upstart In society! It was ridiculous, preposterous! Thorndyke refused further discus sion of the subject. His aunt lay awake most of the night, and as the clock chimed the hours of the early morning so did her Indignation grow. It was almost at boiling point the next day when Katrina was announced. Before her hostess could speak the girl threw herself in her arms. "Oh. dear Miss Harriet," she cried, "of course Thorndyke has told you. I suppose I ought not to be here, w hen I am forbidden to have anything to do with him, but it can't be wrnog to come when he is away." Miss Harriet found herself patting Katrina's head. . t "Do not cry, my dear," she said, witfc . difficulty, due to a remarkable strictura .7 in her throat. "It Is a deplorable situ- " ation, but your father can not be an entire he must be made to see reason. I will call and explain." This conclusion was far from reas suring to Katrina. Yet the young diplomat managed to murmur with a fair assumption of gratitude: "That is so good of you, dear Miss Harriet. If Thorndyke and I are ever happy it will all be due to you." On her way home Miss Harridan found it Imperative to call at hef father's office or, rather, to call on the office boy. Tommy Jenks was hsf staunch admirer, for she had a way of treating him as if he were already a member of the firm. "Tommy, if Miss Harriet calls to see father during the next few days. Jast tell her that he is engaged. She would only worry him. Do you think that you could keep her out for me?" She smiled engagingly. The office boy was flattered by this proof of confidence. "Sure I can, Miss Katrina," he declared, stoutly. "Just you trust to Tommy Jenks." Miss Ormsley called at the office several times. At each visit -Tommy blandly assured her that Mr. Harridan was out. "It is impossible," she declared in dignantly. But the office boy played his role to perfection. Katrina's next visit to The Larches found its mistress in a state, of mind quite at variance with her usual ele gant calm. "Your father. In coalition with his impudent office boy, has re fused to see me. He shows regard neither for my age and position, nor for the happiness of my nephew." Katrina listened meekly, for she saw that no suggestions were needed . the Ormsley blood was up. Yet even she was surprised by the suddenness -r- with which Miss Harriet seized her by the shoulders and half swung her round as she cried: "If you had any spirit in you, you would marry wit out n:s consent: "Elope!" Katrina's tone was horror-struck. "Yes, elope!" "But what would people say?" the girl objected. "Am Ormsley is above the vulgar criticism of the general public," Miss Harriet answersd majestically. "And, indeed, you can scarcely call It an elopement when I will see you mar ried and give a reception at The Larches in the evening." So, finally, Katrina and Thorndyke allowed themselves to be won over to Miss Ormsley's way of thinking. That fiery old lady insisted on making all of he arrangements and was filled with exultation whenever she thought of Mr. Harridan and his discomfiture. She was the only witness at the ceremony, for when she suggested a few guests, Katrina demurred. "If I cannot have my own family, I do not want anyone but you," she de clared. "I would have liked to have had those twelve bridesmaids," she added with a self-sacrificing sigh. "They will all be there in the evening," Miss Harriet comforted. So they were, but it was 'an eleven hour guest who had the place of honor. It was on the way home from church that Katrina begged Miss Harriet to break the news to her father ad to Im plore him to forgive her on her wedding night. Softened by the sight of youthful happiness. Miss Harriet could not re fuse. In this embassy she was successful. Mr. Harridan presented a bold front but he speedily capitulated before her eloquence. Miss Harriet almost forgave his former obduracy since it made her victory the more signal. Thus It happened that Mr. Harridan kissed the bride and drank to the health of the groom with equal fervency. When Mr. and Mrs. Thorndyke Ormsley were driving to the station the first step on their wedding Journey the groom gave voice to a presentiment which all evening had clouded his happiness. "I noticed that young Croxton was very attentive to Pamela tonight. Does that mean another elopement?" Katrina gave a happy laugh as she held up a slip of paper. "Did you not see this, stupid boy? It is Aunt Harriet's present to me a check for five thousand. She said she wanted me to be sure of my welcome in the family. Dear Aunt Harriet! It was a shame to fool her. Yet I think she en joyed It and it was absolutely neces sary. Part of this check shall go for Pamela's wedding. I can promise you that this shall be the last Harridan elopement." (Copyright, 1906, by C. H. Sutcliffe.) "Listen to this, Maria," said Mr. Stubb as he unfolded his scientific paper. "This article states that in some of the old Ro man prisons that have been unearthed they found the petrified remains of the prisoners." "Gracious. John!" replied Mrs. Stubb, with a smile. "I suppose you would call them hardened criminals." Chicago Daily News. Opportunity looked sadly perturbed "There are forty-seven or niore people in that apartment house upon whose doors I ought to knock, but the Janitor won't let me In!" Puck. The Butler "The house Is on fire, ma dam. Here are all the hand-grenades." Mrs. Paceklll "You should have brought them on a tray, William." Life. GLOBE SIGHTS. )- - - ,j HUMOR OP THE DAY. From the Atchison Globe. Everything comes the way of some men but cash. There Is only one way to meet Im politeness: Ignore It. The women who have the big din ner to prepare are more thankful on Friday, after It Is all over. Which Is there more of In th world: Abuse of men by women and of women Ji by men, or courting? J- i Your friends do not ask you to pral3, your rival, but they do thinit yo4 should not expect them to hate hint as you do. If you show your dislikus very ttrorgly you can not be accuse.! cf beinir a hypocrite, but people wl!l say you are exceedingly impolite. It is a part of the love disease for a girl to worry- more if her young man gets a splinter in his thumb than If Father gets a telegraph pole In his arm. After a woman has been married as long as six months, there la nothing in the world that seems as big to her as the salary she used to get as a girl, and the longer she Is married the big ger it seems. We wonder that It never occurs to a drunkard that he could attract a lot of favorable attention by remaining sober. Every man In town would con gratulate him, and speak well of him, and help him in every way possible. Clothing and drygoods men were much disgusted today; most of the peo ple down town were not looking for dry goods or clothing, but for oysters, and cranberries, and plum pudding, and celery. "The pigs!" one clothing man said, as the people sailed by his store, and dived Into the grocery stores. Americans have been engaged many years In an attempt to prove that all men are equal. Still, at the Atchison coal mine, one miner will earn $7.20 in eight hours, working by the piece, while another man with equal oppor tunities will earn $2.20. And when the $7.20 man becomes rich, how the $2.20 man, will roast him for Corruptlon f