The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 05, 1906, Last Edition, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEHA . DAIL? STATS JOUIIIIAE-- WEDNESDAY EVENING, DECEHBEE 5, 19CS.
TOFEKA STATE JOITJAL
Ry FRAXT5 P. MAC LKSKAN.
IKntered Julv I. UTS. ns second class
natter at the posteffle t Tope, Ka
rmttter- fit the nostr
under the act of ponrress J
VOLUI'S XXXIII 290
OfflcUl Paper City of Tuix-ka.
Official Paper Kaiwas Stato teUeiatlon
Women's Clube.
TERMS OF SUHSORllOilj
Dally edition, delivered y
cents a week to any part , "-Xtan-suburbs,
or at the am j. rice In "n
as towns where the paper & carrier
evstem. ...J3n
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By mail, three montli wiV"" 1
(Saturday pIHo.' "f T
TliLlifHUNES.
lousiness Office. .......
Business Offlpe
Reporters' Room
Reporters' Room ........
Frtnk P. MneT erinnn
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PEH.NHNKNT HOME. .
Tope St.?. Journal ''v, "
f-2 Kansas avenue, corner of Elf"-. ,
Nw York office: Flatlron buUdine "l
Twenty-third street, corner F'
anc! Broadway. Paul Biock. rnanafrer.
Chicago office: 1M0 lenity bulld.ng.
Paul Rioete. manager.
... I I wr.HE-l IVIIIF IlKPORT
OF THE ASSOHAI KO R1T55
The State Journal t a mBJ d?
Associated Press and receives the full day
teles-riph report oi that rreat newt i o r
ranlMtlon for the exclusive afternoon
' Te new, 1. rVceed m The State .Tonr
frsl buildTrs over wire, for this sole pur-
m.
The -weather man is doing a good Job
cf It now, anyway.
Pretty soon now the Tillman problem
nill be greater than the negro pro
Hem. Mars Is said to bo trying to signal the
earth. Hang out the busy sign. "We
can't bother with Mars while we are
electing a United States senator.
Mr. Hearst says he will serve in the
ranks hereafter. He has had advertis
ing enough for awhile, and serving In
jthe ranks is cheaper than running for
efflce.
i Caruso has been tried and convicted
, in a New Tork police court. He has
'been tried and acquitted by the direc
tors of the concern he sings for. Take
5our choice.
; Borne New Mexico politicians are
'after the scalp of Governor Hagerman
fcf that territory, charging that he has
; disorganized the Republican party In
'the southwest. Fearful charge, that.
J The noise that you did not hear from
, Washington on Monday, according to
the Salina Journal, was the welcome
!hls fellow senators were giving LaFol
lette. Noticed how cordial it was, didn't
' j-ou ?
Since Victor Murdock has got Into the
senatorial race. Uncle Bent is torn be
tween love for his brilliant red-headed
nephew and his devotion to another
red-headed man who lives at Law
rence. Among the other senators who are not
enthusiastic In praise of LaFollette.
there is Mr. Dryden, of New Jersey,
who will probably fall of re-election
this winter as a result of the Wisconsin
man's vl;it to his state.
This coal confiscation Idea can be
made to work both ways. The officials
cf McCracken caught a carload of coal
cn a sidetrack there the other day, and
they promptly "confiscated" It and dis
tributed it to suffering people.
Since the editor of the Salina Jour
nal has been running for United States
enator and currying favor with legis
lators, that paper has become so en
slaved to the "Hon." habit that it even
peaks of Hon. W. R. Hearst.
It Is something of a disappointment
to learn that a robber who held up a
Pawnee county farmer who had been
marketing t.'.s wheat, got only $390. It
was supposed that a Kansas farmer
Who had marketed his wheat never car
ried less than $500 or $1,000 around with
' The New York World "cannot see
,kow any good can come from Senator
Tillman's incendiary speeches on the
race question." But if they keep Till
jman In the senate, isn't some good ac
'cOmpllGhsd from Tillman's standpoint,
however the rest of the country may
flook at It?
I
i Of course it Is perfectly legitimate
for Senator Bailey to practice law, but
there is a serious doubt whether he
ought to represent a corporation which
J Is opposed to the people, when the peo
iPle are also paying him to represent
them. On second thought, there is no
doubt about It. It's a sure thing that
he ought not to do it.
! Says the Hutchinson News: "The
Chicago Inter-Ocean having eliminated
all the Republican presidential candi
dates except Speaker Cannon and Vice
: President Fairbanks, and the Topeka
'State Journal having eliminated these,
the Republicans seem to be up against
It for a standard bearer next time."
What's the matter with drafting some
body? Teddy, for instance.
Some of the newer cities of the first
class in Kansas are wondering what
all this "government by commission"
talk is about, and they are Inclined to
resent It. Would It not be well to
make the commission plan" optional
with all first and second class cities,
allowing those that wish to do so to
keep the present council system?
Mr. Bryan calls attention to the fact
that the only president who has moved
from Albany to the White House in
thirty years was Grover Cleveland.
T'..e New York governorship, he says,
is not a stepping stone to the presi
dency. If he had said that before elec
tion it might have helped Hearst some.
People were afraid he might go from
Albany to Washington.
President Roosevelt, -rays & dispatch,
rome time ago Insisted that Mr. Cortel
you, then chairman of the Republican
national committee, should return to
the big Insurance companies the money
they had contributed to th Hepubliean
campaign fund, on the ground that the
money belonged to the policyholders
and the Insurance magnates had no
right to use it for political purposes.
Mr. Cortelyou and Treasurer Bliss, says
the dispatch, firmly refused to return
the money, but the president is still
Insisting that it must be returned. This
will not weaken the president with the
people, but it may be a trifle rough on
Mr. Cortelyou's budding presidential
boom.
TI1E SPEAKERSHIP.
It Is to be hoped that the speaker of
the house in the coming legislature
will not be chosen solely on the sena
torial issue. Important legislation
ought to be enacted by the coming
legislatuie and the house should be or
ganized with that in view rather than to
farther the Interests of some senatorial
candidate. The election of a United
States senator is, of course, a matter of
great importance, but it is a matter on
which the appointment of legislative
committees and the rules cf the house
ought to have no bearing. In electing
a senator each legislator ought simply
to reflect the sentiment of the people
whom he represents.
The speaker's chair calls for a man
of strong character, who will use his
power impartially, but to expedite leg
islation. A number of good men have
been suggested for the place.
At present the speakership contest
appears to be between John S. Simmons
of Lane county, and Cyrus Leland, of
Doniphan. W. B. Ham, of Rooks, has
been mentioned but for some reason his
candidacy does not seem to be "tak
ing," possibly because he is regarded
as extreme "square deal." Nor is the
boom of J. W. Creech, of Dickinson,
progressing much more than did the
same gentleman's gubernatorial boom
last spring. Mr. Creech is regarded as
the exponent of the opposite extreme
from Mr. Ham.
The situation Involving Mr. Sim
mons and Mr. Leland is interesting.
The former will have the support of
the Seventh district generally and what
is known as "the Long crowd." This
is the result of the rupture between
Mr. Leland and Senator Long. It is
also stated that Congressman Curtis is
inclined to favor Mr. Simmons, although
Mr. Simmons himself will probably vote
for J. L. Brlstow for ITnlted States
senator, because the people of that
section are strongly for Brlstow. It is
a fact, however, that some of the ele
ments that seem to be most strongly
opposed to Brlstow are for Simmons for
speaker.
Mr. Leland, strange as It may seem,
has considerable support among the
"square dealers" and those who are op
posed to "the Long crowd." He has
refrslned from declaring himself on the
senatorshlrp.
There is an element, however, that
appears to be dissatisfied with all of
these candidates. It includes some of
those who have heretofore been oppos
ed to Mr. Leland politically, but who
are now busy fighting those elements
that are pushing Mr. Simmons' candi
dacy. Thr re has been some rumors re
cently that this element would unite on
C. A. Stannard, of Lyon county, anoth
er representative whose position on the
senatorshlp is unknown.
With this sort of a field to draw on
it ought not to be difficult to elect a
speaker with a view to securing good
legislation rather than to farther the
interests cf some senatorial candidate.
THE CAR FAMINE.
Complaints are coming in from all
quarters these days concerning the car
shortage. Shippers of all kinds allege
that they cannot get enough cars to do
their business. Grain men have their
elevators overflowing, but they cannot
get the railroads to empty them because
no cars are to be had. Some localities
are suffering for coal. Alleged reason:
Shortage of coal cars. Cattle shippers
are compelled to feed their stock long
after they are ready for market because
their requests for cars go unheeded.
But is there really a car shortage?
Along with these complaints come
stories of empty cars standing unused
on the sidings for weeks, and the ques
tion arises, why? A cattle feeder wrote
the State Journal a few days ago that
he had given an order for three cattle
cars over a month before and they had
not yet been delivered to him, although
only 43 miles away he had counted 39
empty cattle cars standing on a siding,
while nine others were loaded with
brick.
The writer hereof was recently told
of an Instance in Oklahoma where a
cotton buyer ships In cotton seed for
grinding and ships out baled cotton.
Cars of seed have come in to him which
he has speedily unloaded, and he has
then asked for the cars in which to ship
out cotton. The request was refused
although the empty cars remained for
three weeks on a side track.
A man who does business In a north
ern Kansas town stated to the State
Journal recently that it takes freight
shipments ten days to come from Chi
cago at present, whereas two or three
years ago it came through in four days.
These stories would indicate that the
shortage is somewhere else than In cars.
Either motive power or labor must be
lacking, if the railroads are doing their
utmost to relieve the situation and it
stands to reason that they would do so.
A lack of motive power or too few
train crews would explain why some
empty cars are left unused. The man
with cattle to ship Is not furnished cars
because the moment they are loaded
they must be moved by the railroad,
and the motive power may be lacking.
The man who wanted to use the empty
cars at hand for shipping cotton was
not allowed to do so for the cars may
have beei. promised elsewhere, but the
engines and crews may have been lack
ing to haul them.
People who receive freight are mak
ing complaints about its delivery, Just
as did the northern Kansas man. This
might bo caused by a lack of motive
power, or It might be caused by some
other reason. If there is a shortage of
cars, however, this slowness of move
ment will contribute to It mightily. If
it takes ten dys for a car of merchan
dise to travel from Chicago to Kansas,
where it formerly covered the distance
in four days, it is evident that that car
is not doing more than half the work it
formerly did. With the same expedition
an formerly, that car would come
through in four days, be unloaded the
fifth, loaded with wheat the sixth, and
return to Chicago by the tenth.
It is difficult to believe that the rail
roads are not doing all they can to
handle the business, but it appears
that there has either been mismanage
ment, or else that business has grown
faster than the facilities for caring for
it. The fact that the same conditions
exist on practically all roads all over
the country indicates that It is not mis
management. Serious car famines first made their
appearance in Kansas about six years
ago. At first they lasted only for a few
weeks while the wheat was being rush
ed to market from July to September
1 or October. The railroads then declined
to load up on sufficient equipment to
handle the entire wheat crop in a few
weeks, claiming that the cars would
then remain idle the balance of the
y-ar. Besides they could haul the
wheat when they pleased. But business
has expanded much more rapidly than
was anticipated until now the car fam
ine lasts most of the year. Too much
prosp-rity evidently.
Wellington was thankful because it
Is unlike Leavenworth, Wichita or To
peka. It is easy to understand why it
should rejoice at being- unlike Wichita
or Leavenworth, but now that To
peka has repaved Kansas avenue, it is
difficult to comprehend the Topeka
part of Wellington's gladness. Per
haps Wichita can point it out.
That Rhode Island man who always
sends the president his Thanksgiving
turkey came near losing his advertis
ing this year. Very few papers print
ed double column pictures of the bird.
Congress may think it is some
pumpkins, but when W. R. Stubbs gets
the Kansas legislature to performing
congress will see Just how little it
amounts to.
If any other tenor singers wish to
get their names into the headlines
;hcy now know how to proceed.
Still, there is apparently nothing to
do but to excuse Peary for not discov
ering the pole, provided he promises
not to let it occur araln.
JAYHAWKER JOTS
The country "lyceum" is 1n full tloom
once more.
There is some curiosity to know
whether the recent revival at Emporia
was sufficient to quench the Town
Row.
Billy Morgan points out that it was
very natural when Mayor Gabriel blew
his trumpet in Parsons, the Joints
closed.
The announcement that a woman is
to try to reach the North Pole leads
Roy Tapley to Jump at the conclusion
that there are men at the North Pole.
The mean thing!
W. H. Thompson, who defeated Col
onel Hopkins for Judge in the extreme
southwestern district of the state,
proudly displays a letter of congratu
lation from W. J. Bryan.
A woman writing to the Caldwell
News asked for "a little space" in
which to defend Christian Science, and
she very thoughtfully confined her re
marks to two and a half columns.
Noting that Mayor Schmitz says he
will neither give nor take quarter, Fred
Trigg remarks that the San Francisco
mayor has never been accused of tak
ing anything as small as a quarter.
Western Kansas Is not the only part
of the state that is booming In all
sorts of ways these days. Newspapers
irom every nttie locality are braee nir
of the growth and prosperity in their
parts, fcven Arkansas Cltv is nro-
grcsslng along all lines.
Proud Reno countv hnast from the
Hutchinson Nevis: Sedgwick county
Doasis or zou.wo bushels of apples this
year. Six Reno county growers could
be selected, the aggregate of whose
crops would equal this amount.
One who knows" sends this news
item to the Garden city Reflector:
"Yesterday Rev. Mr. Robertson was at
tacked in the pulpit of the Christian
church by J. L. Seeds, not with har
mony and tongs, but with bare fists.
We learn that Mr. Seeds has been fined
50 cents for assault and 50 cents for dis-
turDlng the peace."
Walter Johnson was left In rhnrM
of the Hutchinson News the other day
and he handed out a delicate hint to
W. Y. Morgan, the editor. After dis
cussing the question of raising the sal
aries of state officers he says: "Then
let us have an increase in the salaries
of newspaper writers also. This partic
ular editorial is written, not by the
editor, but by the hired man and it
may voice the editor's opinion not at
all, or in whole, or only in part. Here's
nopin u meets ms unqualified ap
proval.' GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
A shoemaker's main business is sole
saving.
When a man Is poky, old fashioned
people say: "He is too slow to catch
a cold."
To be successful one must know
when to grant and when to refuse con
cessions. There are days when every time a
man turns his head around, his neck
gets the axe.
There is something missing out of
the children's lives if there isn't a va
cant lot next door.
There are as many different vari
eties of dangerous women as there
are styles of doing the hair.
There is this in favor of the woman
who thinks theater going is wicked:
she never takes her babies there.
During a cold, disagreeable day, it
Is a fortunate loafer who knows a
store or office where he will be wel
come. The average woman keeps a cook
Just long enough for the cook to peer
Into all the closets and get good looks
at the family skeletons.
A dyspeptic said today: "I can diet
all right in summer, but in winter,
when sausage, and mince pies, and
spare ribs come on, I'm lost."
The motherly Instinct in a woman
Is a noble trait, no doubt, but it Is also
aften the cause of a girl falling in love
with a worthless failure of a man.
Note how Full of Trouble the Farm
er's Wife Is: She Is having Difficulty
In Counting up Hard rains this year to
Account for the "Scarlty of Turkeys."
Having broken the women of the
habit of keeping their hat on in the
theater, the reformers should go after
the young girls who wear such big
bows of such wide ribbons on their
heads that the man behind feels as if
he is peering over the ribbon counter
at a. drygoods store.
JOURNAL ENTRIES J
KANSAS COMMENT
TILLMAN'S SPEECH.
Have you read Ben Tillman's speech,
in Chicago. A great row was made
over this speech, before Its delivery.
We have read a stenographic report of
it. He says, in effect, that in seven
of the leading southern states, the ne
groes outnumber the whites; that un
der the law adopted by northern people,
these negroes would control the south,
although they do not pay a hundredth
part of the taxes, or represent a hun
dredth part of the education or intel
ligence of the south. He argues that
the whites haye. always controlled th
?v.?ck races' and that the exception in
this case is because of the quarrel be
tween the north and the south over
slavery; that the northern people them
selves dislike the negroes as much as
do southern people, and have shown
their dislike in many ferocious ways;
that the northern people would do ex
actly as the southern people are doing,
under like circumstances. He didn't
say, "To hell with the law," but "To
hell with such a law," meaning the
law forming negro equality or the peo
ple of the south, adopted at a time
when the northern people were wrought
up because of a long war. He says the
old time negroes were all right, that
during the war, the slaves protected
their mistresses, while the men were
away fighting, but that a new race has
grown up, which is impudent and dan
gerous. The speech Is not as bad as it
has been represented, in any particu
lar. Atchison Globe.
PUBLIC OWNERSHIP.
Bill Allen White, who is always but
ting in, says this land of the free and
home of the brave already has "public
ownership" of all the newspapers that
are any account; and that editors and
publishers are but "hired men," who
print these papers to meet the require
ments of the sovereign squats. If an
editor doesn't print a paper that meets
the approbation of the people, his pa
per goes to pot, while the editor ceases
to be. And there is a lot of truth in
what Bill Allen, says. El Dorado Re
publican. JOBBERS.
Anthony Is getting to be quite a
wholesale point, but you would never
know it from her newspapers any more
than you would other towns that we
might mention. Jobbers are always ask
ing for newspaper support, but never
patronize the newspaper. Hutchinson
News.
LUCKY.
J. R. Burton is writing a book ex
posing certain prominent Kansans.
Certain prominent Kansans are to be
congratulated upon their good luck.
Lawrence World.
THE ELOPEMENT.
Woman continues to occupy at least
her share of space in the public
prints. J. his by no means detracts
from one's interest in those publica
tions, lor it may not be a violation of
confidence to say that many men
really feel an interest in women. In
deed, in nearly every sensational story
about woman a man may be found at
tne Dottom or it. oman is not alto
gether to blame for her prominence in
the newspapers, for every woman who
gets into the news is described as
beautiful, and this, is the only chance
many of- them ever -have to be thus
described. -i This -chance nresents a
great tetnfctatliin ffwwoman, and every
man who has'ever read the story of
Eve and the apple knows how readily
woman may yield to temptation.
One of the late news items con
cerning woman is this:
"Braddock Pa. Fifty-two young
women oi a Braddock Lutheran
church, at a meeting held last night,
signed a paper pledging themselves
not to be parties to elopements."
a he young ladies who have signed
this rledge probably mean to keep it.
There is no harm in that. Nearly
every one who signs a pledge means
to keep it. But, if 50 per cent of the
pledges signed were kept the anti
saloon league could safely disband.
Is it logical that these young ladies
should throw the welfjht of their in
fluence against elopement? The
elopement has its uses. In the first
place, it is romantic, and if people do
not get their romance before marriage
they are apt never to know much
about romance. The elopement Is a
good thing for the poor man. It en
ables a. six-dollar-a-week man to as
pire to the hand of a maid he could
never hope to win with the consent of
her mother.
Moreover, the elopement excels in
the matter of economy. It is very
much cheaper than a church wedding.
There is also much less excitement
about it. The young lady does not
have to wrestle with the awful prob
lem of the invitation list. On the other
hand, it is true that the elopers have
to forego many wedding presents, but
thiq also is economy. Wedding pres
ents are the most expensive things a
young married couple can accept.
When it comes to paying Dack wee
ding presents it is astounding to learn
the number of school chums the young
wife had, and the rapidity and per
sistency with which they marry.
Washington Star.
A CHAPTER TO BE CLOSED.
The statement is made with such cir
cumstantial warrant that Senator Thos.
r Piatt of New York will soon retire
from the upper branch of congress that
It is being generally acceptea as ac
curate. His recent family disclosures
have been such as to make nis pnysicai
presence in the senate unendurable and
his reception bythe president impossi
hie Resicnation therefore from a mor
al point of view Is inevitable. The
situation in which Mr. Piatt finds him
self necessarily revives interest in the
resignation of both senators rrom tne
mint of view of the right of the slate of
New York to enjoy the best representa
tion. It will be well ror tne tmpirH
state If this chapter in its history can
be permanently closed at oncv. New
Haven Register. 1
DANGEROUS ANARCHISM.
. xr T la ng-.nin hpM nn tn
scorn as a nest of anarchists, and pos
sibly she deserves it. But the anarch
ism of Paterson, N. J., is not so danger
ous as the anarchism of a citizen of
New Bedford, Mass.. who was heard to
exult the other day on the prospect of
getting five dollars for his vote at the
coming municipal election. New Bed
ford Evening Standard.
NAUGHTY TRUSTS!
Now the sugar trust has been con
victed of accepting rebates. These
trusts certainly are a guilty lot. Pitts
burg Gazette-Times.
TICKLED.
President Roosevelt seems to be as
greatly rleased with the Panama canal
as If he had dug it himself. Toledo
Blade.
WIDOWS' UNION WILL OBJECT.
A Massachusetts club woman de
clares the law should prohibit women
from marrying more than once.
Houston Post.
FROM OTHER PENS
PRECEPT AND PRACTICE.
Young men should never smoke. It dulls
the mind,
And costs moreover many shekels
bright.
The which invested In gold-bearing bonds
(Gimme a light!)
Would bring much profit. Always pay
your debts
With promptness and the confidence of
men
You will acquire (Tell that persistent guy
To call aeain!)
And never, never drink! It's poison rank
And he who uses it a stupid lout
To failure all foredoomed. (Say, Jimmy,
boy.
Bring mine without!)
And as for swearing, oh, the naughty
act!
Ill-bred and wicked to be wholly frank
(Say, why'n the thunder don't you close
that door!
Blank Blank!)
New Orleans Times-Demovrat.
Harnessing a River.
The railroad dams contrived and
built to turn the Colorado river back
into its course have at last succeeded
after several failures and a profuse ex
penditure of money, expert skill, and
hard work. The flow into the remark
able Salton sink Is checked, and the
very considerable body of water which
has accumulated in the great depres
sion, which stretches from United
States territory well down into Mexico,
will now evaporate in the course of
timo unless it is further replenished.
The lake now covers hundreds of
square miles of desert to a depth that
varies from ten to one hundred and
twenty feet, and is a feature of the far
southwest that provokes thoughtful
persons to meditation. Some of them
strongly favor its retention by co
operation of the United States and
Mexican governments, on the ground
that it has proved exceedingly bene
ficial to the climate of the whole
southwest of the United States and of
northern Mexico. The rainfall, it
seems, has been abundant and bene
ficent beyond precedent in that region
during the last two years, and crops
have been raised by its help where it
had not been supposed that crops
could be raised without irrigation. The
theory is that the influence of the new
Salton sea has made it possible for the
rain-clouds from the Pacific ocean to
cross the desert, whereas aforetime its
blasting heat used to dissipate them,
leaving arid the lands beyond, which
of late have sot their share of rain.
This is an interesting theory and will
doubtless get the full investigation
which its importance merits. A very
stout string will be tied to the Colo
rado river before It is let out of its
course again, but if there is a profit In
having part of it maintain a great lake
in the Salton sink instead of running
into the Gulf of California, the diver
sion can doubtless be arranged and
managed row with safety under com
petent restriction. The river has
shown what it could do. Perhaps it
was worth doing. Harper's Weekly.
The Flight of Time.
Two darkies swapped mules. One of
them was an old hand at the business,
and in making the trade he represented
his mule to be seven years old.
This was in February. A few months
later the other darky began to real'ze
he had been swindled, and that the
beast was fully twelve years old. i?o he
went back to tell the swindler h? had
lied to him about the animal's ati?.
"You say," said the other fellow, "dat
when you got de mule in February, he
was seven years old, and now it's June
and he's twelve years old?"
"Yes, I do," was the angry response
"Well, sah, time sure do fly." Phila
delphia Ledger.
Roosevelt and Ills Book.
President Roosevelt often tells with
relish this story on himself. He visited
a bookseller's shop in Idaho Just after
he had written his "The Winning of tTtc
West." He picked up a copy of his book
from the counter and salt to the book
seller, with feigned curiosity:
"Who Is the author Roosevelt?"
"Oh," was the answer, "he's a ranch
driver up in the cattle country."
"What do you think of his book?"
"Well," said the dealer. "I've always
thought I'd like to meet that author and
tell him if he'd stuck to running ranches
and not tried to write books he'd have
cut a heap bigger figure at his trade
and been a bigger man." Boston Her
ald. Knew Whnt He Meant.
Rev. Wlllinm Sheafe Chase, rector of
Christ church, Brooklyn, N. Y., now
prominent in the crusade for Sunday law
enforcement In New York, has an un
controllable wink. His many Rhode Is
land friends will recall that when he is
talking earnestly one eye will, by an in
voluntary muscular contraction, appear
to be giving point to the conversation.
At that time, when he was rector of
St. James' church in Woonsocket, he vis.
Ited a printing office with a rush order
for some work.
"I can't do the Job In time for you un
less I work Sunday." said the printer,
"and I don't suppose you approve of
th'I will leave the copy." said Mr. Chase,
"and you must do the best you can, but
pertainlv von must not work on Sunday,"
he concluded with emphasis.
When the rector received the printing
he said with some surprise: "I did not
think it would be delivered so early."
"It would not have been ready but for
the Sunday work," replied the honest
printer.
Surprised at this, Mr. Chase asked:
"Didn't I say that the work must not be
done on Sunday?"
"You surely did. but you winked, and I
knew what that meant," was the sa-ge
answer of the man of the types.' St. Paul
Pioneer Press.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News. 3
Never Judge a girl's beauty by her
photo.
Life isn't worth livlns for those who
think it isn't.
About the easiest way to settle an
argument is to shut up.
Highly colored stories are never in
the white-lie class.
The people who succeed are those
who make use of each other.
A woman's train of thought is apt t
run toward her dressmaker.
Many an otherwise honest young
man doesn't hesitate to steal a kiss.
It's difficult for a woman to love a
man that no other woman admires.
It is permissible to blow your own
horn if you are a member of a brass
band.
When a man is unable to choose be
tween two evils he usually hunts up a
third.
Crops may come and crops may go,
but the forbidden-fruit crop is always
with us.
Many a fellow tries to run a forty
horse power automobile on a five horse
power salary.
Riches may have wings, but don't
sit down and wait for another man's
riches to fly your way.
There never was a pretty girt so
stupid that she couldn't fool the clev
erest man of her acquaintance.
A married man thinks he could, have
saved a lot of money had he remained
a bachelor, but he couldn't.
When you see a boy of 10 with a
clean face and his hair carefully
oombed it'e a safe bet that he Is In
love with his school teacher.
I THE EVENING STORY
. Beth's Hero.
TBy Colin S. Collins.!
Beth looked curiously about the hall.
Behind the scenes had always been a
domain of Fairylt.nd to her.The thought
that she was to witness a renearsai,
and a dress rehearsal at that, over
powered her.
It was not at al las she had pictured
It Th lono- low-pel lin a-ert hall W3S
very unlike the stage, and the mass of
properties and scenery thrown aDout i
apparent cluios bewildered her. A huge
boulder lay against an Italian fountain,
and flower beds, stacked one above the
other, looked very unlike the ilower
beds she knew.
Over in one corner a group of men
were pulling and hauling at a girl
dressed as an Indian. In the center of
the hall half a dozen men were strug
gling through some unfamiliar music,
and not far away a heavily built man
was deliberately slitting a new leather
coat Into shreds and rubbing it on the
dirty floor to take off its aspect of new
ness. Other girls were going through danc
ing steps at the behest of a stocky lit
tle man, who beat time with a thick
pole he carried when he was not using
the stick to threaten some unruly girl.
And over all presided a thin, nervous
looking man, who seemed to have the
faculty of being in three places at
once.
Tom Seaton detached himself from
the group about a cage in one coiner
and came toward her. "It doesn't seem
much when you see it close to, does it?"
he laughed.
"It is a little disappointing," she ad
mitted, "but I find it very interesting."
"They are going to dress soon," he
said carelessly, "and then run through
the pantomime. It's a pity that they
cannot get the hall upstairs, where
they can get the scenery up. There's
a wedding or something going on up
there."
"It was awfully good of you to bring
me," she said impulsively.
"It's good for you to come," he
laughed. "A glimpse of a dress re
hearsal is the best cure for the stage
fever that I know of. It was lucky that
Hermes was in a good humor last night
when I asked him if I might bring you
over."
"Is that Hermes?" she asked, point
ing to a tall, handsome fellow who
posed in one corner.
"That's the man who made the cos
tumes," he laughed. "Hermes is that
little fellow who is all over the place.
He and St. Elmo, the ballet master
that little fellow with the stick are
doing about half the work."
Beth glanced with new Interest at the
flying figure. She had seen him on the
stage dressed in mystic robes, and with
all of the advantage of scenic environ
ment. He looked vastly different as
he flew about the place in an old pair
of trousers and a tattered flannel shirt.
Even when the players who had
slipped out of the room began to come
back in gaudy costumes, the illusion
was not restored, for the nervous little
ballet master kept Jumping into the
space outlined by chairs to represent
the stage and, roughly throwing some
one aside, took her place to show what
he wanted done.
Not until they came to the trick to
which the pantomime worked up did
Beth regain her interest. The beauti
ful white girl was supposed to be
thrown into a lion's den, but an Indian
maiden, by virtue of a talisman, took
the place of the Infuriated beast.
The others crowded about the cage
to see the trick worked, and Tom
dragged Beth over, with a whispered:
"You musn't tell the trick to any one."
She noded assent with a delightful
feeling of mystery, and watched with
interest the "elaborate working of a
trick that seemed simple enough front,
the audience-.
Half a dozen times the trick was
tried before Hermes straightened up
with an "All riffht! Dress for the next
act," and the crowd of fantastically
dre'ssed players rushed off to the ante-
rTorri led Beth back to the tiny plat
form that formed her seat of vantage.
"Disillusioned?" he said, with a
smile.
"Entirely so," she shuddered. Of
coursa I knew It was all play, but 1
never dreamed it was such hard
work."
"You should have been to one of the
early rehearsals," he laughed. "There
was one afternoon when St. Elmo got
so excited at the way one of the stupid
girls behaved that I had to Jump In
and catch his arm to keep him from
striking her. He's a genius, but his
temper is something awful. It's no
worse, though, than with some of the
big companies."
"I don't think I shall want any of
It," she shuddered. "It has cured me
completely of my desire to go on the
St3o you think you could settle down
to being Just Mrs. Tom Seaton?" he
pleaded. "I want you so, dear."
"Don't, please," she begged. "You
know how I feel."
He turned away. He knew all too
well how she felt. That some roman
ticism that urged her to the stage
acted against him. He was Just Tom
Seaton, big, good natured and a faith
ful friend, but entirely too unromantlc
to appeal to her heart. He had de
stroyed the glamor of the stage for her
by brlngtng her to rehearsal. Only a
miracle could work the other change.
He had slipped his coat off when he
had come in. following the example of
the rest and now he turned to a cigar
for solace. He was carefully selecting
one from his case when a cry from
Beth caused him to turn.
There Just below the platform stood
King, the Hon used in the trick. In the
excitement some one had neglected to
fasten the door of the cage and while
they had been talking he had slipped
out and started on a tour of Investiga
tion. , , '
All of the players had gone to change
their costumes and the property man
had taken advantage of Hermes' ab
sence to slip out to the corner for a
glass of beer. They were alone. Just
below him, on the edge of the plat
form were a couple of revolvers
loaded with blank cartridges. With A
bound he caught one of these up and
discharged it into King'3 face. With an
angrv snarl the brute turned and
charged toward the other end of the
room. . , ,
Tom caught up the other revolver and
slipped it into his pocket. Then he
seized St. Elmo's wand and followed
the retreating form. Back and forth
they went up and down the hall until,
at last with a quick turn, Tom headed
the brute into his cage Just as Hermes
rushed in.
It was he who latched the door of
the cage, for now that the danger was
over Beth was clinging to Tom, mur
muring praises that sounded sweet ta
1 fl xs
Hermes came forward but Tom, dis
engaging himself from Beth's clasp,
went toward him and whispered In his
eiar Hermes smiled knowingly and
darted out. Presently he was back
arraln.
"There Is a carriage at the dooT," he
said. "I am sorry that Miss Albright
should have had so unpleasant an ex
perience while my guest."
"All's well that ends well," laughed
Tom. "Good night, Hermes, and many
thanks for your courtesy. I'll see you
tomorrow."
In the carriage Beth clung to Tom
as though the danger were not yet over.
"And to think," she sobbed penitently,
"that I did not realize what a brave
man you were. I do love you, Tom, but
somehow "
"I know," he eald gently as she fal
tered. "You wanted a hero and I was
so dreadfully commonplace."
"You're not," she cried, indignantly.
"Only I well, I never realized before
how big and brave you were."
"All's wll that ends well," he chuck
led. "Tomorrow morning you will be
wearing the biggest solitaire that an
engaged girl ever had."
"I don't deserve it," she said meekly.
"You're awfully good, Tom."
Some hours later Seaton sat In his
little den, absorbing a brandy and soda
in absolute content. He looked up at
Beth's picture on the mantel.
"I guess you've had a lot of Ideals
smashed tonight, little girl," he mused.
"But it was good for you and if anyone
ever tells you that that poor old brute
was a darned sight more scared than
you ever could be, I'll knock his blamed
head off." (Copyright, 196, by Homer
Sprague.).
1
HUMOR OP THE DAY
The Park Cop Come on! Git up out v
here! The Tramp (dreamily.) Wot's da
matter, porter? Goin' ter make up da
berths?
Griggs "Dropped Into the court house
this morning and lost my overcoat there,
confound the luck." Briggs "That
nothing. Last week I lost a. whole suit
there." Boston Transcript.
"Well, Mary, I'm going to smoke those
cigars you gave me last Christmas." "I
knew you would smoke them some time."
"I didn't think I ever would, but the doc
tor has Just told me that I must not use
tobacco any more."
"Did the Judge give hlnA a long sen
tence?" "No." "I thought he said:
'Ten years.' " "Well, you don't call a
sentence long that has only two words,
do you?" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"What caused the trouble between
Blinkers and his wife?" "They got Into
a row over an automobile." "I didn't
know they owned one." "They didn't.
That's how the row started." Minneap
olis News.
"Johnny, didn't you lose two fingers
celebrating the Fourth of July last
year?" "You bet!" "Then you are not go
ing to do any celebratng this year, are
you?" "1011 bet I am! 1 can't lose them
fingers again, can I." Chicago Tribune.
"Oh, what do you call those things you
hang clothes on?" said Dumlev, who was
trying to think of "clothes tree." "What
things?" asked Jigglns. "Why, they
have arms that stick out like this, and"
"Oh, dudes!" Philadelphia Ledger.
"Life is so uncertain," she said. "I
know it," he replied, "let's get married.
One of us may die within a few years."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Teacher Miss Badger, what do you un
derstand by "the privileged classes?"
Coed The botany classes. They can go
out in the woods once in a while. Chl
caeo Tribune.
"I see Katie, that New York is to have
one policeman to every 521 Inhabitants,"
said the lady of the house. "Well, ma'am,
I've got mine," was Katie's reply.
Yonkers Statesman.
"Do you enjoy delivering speeches to
your constituents?" "Oh, yes," a.nswered
the statesman; "only it hurts me to have
some of them sny that speeches are the
only kind of goods I can be relied upon
to deliver." Washington Star.
Bacon She says she is 21 years old.
Egbert Well, she looks as If she would
lay she was about that old. Tonkers
Statesman.
. "De man dat nurses unreasonable
hopes," said Uncle Eben, "may be fool
ish, but he ain't as foolish as de one dat
nurses vain regrets." Washington Star.
"I suppose a professional pugllfst."
said Jokesley, "may properlv be called
a 'box party.' " "Yes,-1 replied Wiseman,
"pugilists don't do much but talk."
Philadelphia Ledger.
"How does It happen." asked the nort
ly dowager on the overland express,
"that you have managed to keep the
same cook for thirty years?" "I married
one." answered the chnnne acquaintance,
shrugging her ample shoulders. Chicaeo
Tribune.
A Sure Sign. Policeman What made
you think that your passenger was a
foreigner? Driver He nsked me If I
would like a glass of beer! Nobody lt
a foreigner would ask me such a stupii
thing as that. Fllegendc Blatter.
"See here," said the Popley. "I don't
propose to have that burclar alarm in our
room. -We'll rig It up down in the hall."
"But," protested his wife, "we wouldn't
hear it and wake up when It roes off "
'Neither will the baby." Philadelphia
Ledger.
"A woman should always denerd on
her husband for advice." .ald "the de
voted wife. "Yes." answered the visitor
"but it does grow monotonous not to gt
any advice except to economize." Wash
ington Star.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Nothing can be much more anti
quated than lost year's popular song.
Some men actually feel the pangs of
remorse before they are found out.
The pugilist can put his man to sleep
almost as successfully as the preacher.
Some fellows are not satisfied to kill
time unless it belongs to somebody
else.
The average woman Is usually will
ing to forgive the man she has of
fended. Any old maid will tell you that such
a thing as marriage has never occurred
to her.
Ague is one of the things that will
give a fellow the shake and still stay
right with him.
The man who thinks twice before he
speaks will soon learn to think a dozen
times before he sings.
Blobbs "Yes. when she sings people
forget everything else." Slobbs
"Gee! Is It as bad as that?"
Wigg "He's rich enough to do pret
ty much as he pleases, Isn't he'"
Wagg "Well, pretty much as his wlifa
pleases."
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.
The time to ask a girl for a kiss Is
after you have done it.
The best way never to settle a ques
tion is to o to law about it.
The best way to win an argument
is to let the other fellow do the talk
ing. A man is an awful liar to enjoy
spending the evening home with his
family.
The average man is more afraid of
going to hell than of not going to
Heaven.
Even bald-headed men have the
nerve to criticise the way others part
their hair.
A woman can't help having more
confidence In a man's bravery if h
uses cuss words.
When a girl shakes hands with a
man either she is afraid he will
squeeze her finders or that he won't.
A man always tries to make out that
It is much worse for a woman to have
a pet dog than for him to have a bad
habit.