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The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kan.) 1892-1980, June 28, 1907, LAST EDITION, Image 4

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THE TOPEELA DAILY STATE JOURNAL-FRID AY EVENING, JUNE 23, 1907.
T0PES1 STATE JOURML
By FRANK P. MAO LENNAN.
f Entered July 1. 1875, as second-class
natter at the pestoffice at Topelta. Kan,.
Mww,r -nw aci or conyrM.j
!VOIUME XXXIV No. 156
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS 07 SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily edition, delivered by carrier. M
nu a week to any part of Topeka, or
suburbs, or at the same price In any Kan
a towns where Uie paper has a carrier
system.
gr mafl. one year C m
y mail, three months .-5
''r edition of dally, one year.... w
TELEPHflNEH
Business office Belt 1T
Business office Tnd. 1JT
Reporters' Room... Belt 677
Kfporters Room Ind. 58
tifc P. MseLennen Ind. TOO
PERMANENT HOME.
Tepeka State Journal bulMtne.
P3? Kanni avenue, comer of Eighth.
.New York office: Flatlron building. "
Tnrv-thlrd street, corner Fifth avenue
BrodwT. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago office: Hartford building. Paul
"ocjc. mnnaser.
HXL LEASED WIKE TflTORT
OP THE A SSOCT ATKT PRESS.
The filar Joi:ml la a member of the
Associated Press end receives the full day
werrapr; reoort of that great news w
rsmsstion for the exclusive anernon
pobTicatloa In Topeka,
The news Is recrlved 'n The State Jonr
tl building over wires for this sola pur
pose. HOME XEWS WHILE AW AT.
Subscribers of the State Journal
nay durinjr the summer may liaro
the paper mailed regularly ench tlay
t any address at the rate of ten cent
a week or thirty cent a month (by
mail onlj). Address ehantccd ns often
as desired. While out of town 'he
State Journal will be to you liko A
daily letter from home.
Advance payment Is rctmested on
these short time subscription, to Mve
booWkeeplnjf ejpr-se.
If Secretary Taft ever goes on the
stump it will have to be a big stump.
Tiflis has also moved Into the Rus
sian trouble zone, according to the
dispatches.
In Russia towns are blown up with
bombs. In Illinois they are blown
down with tornadoes.
"Hot water," says a physician, "will
cure almost anything-." Still, people
hate dreadfully to get into hot water.
A national industrial peace confer
ence Is to be held in San Francisco.
No place could be found where it is
more needed.
It is to be hoped that the national
Industrial peace conference to be held
In San Francisco won't be prevented
by the strikes.
In the meantime. Congressman Mil
ler's Investigation of the lumber trust
has not caused that organization to
take to the woods.
The politicians will approve Presi
dent Roosevelt's forestry policy if he
will provide for preserving the plum
tree for their use.
Everybody else has forgotten the
story that Roosevelt once predicted
that Cannon would be the next presi
dent, but Uncle Joe hasn't.
Speaking of nature fakers, what
about the Individual who invented the
story of the "Three Bears" that we
used to hear when life was young?
With an insurrection In progress in
France, and Portugal behaving badly.
It may console the czar to know that
he hasn't a corner on all the trouble.
The premature Fourth of July cele
bration has already had a sad result
at Atchison. Remember the Fourth
of July does not come until the next
day after the third.
While he is in the state prison Mayor
Sclimitz will continue to work for the
public, although his services will be
somewhat different from what they
have been heretofore.
It would be a joke on Governor
Hughes if the western railroads,
where the population is comparative
ly scarce, should decide that the two
cent fare is all right.
It Isn't often that a man's bitter ene
mies set out to prove that he Isn't so
wicked as he claims to be, but that is
what the Haywood defense Is trying to
do with Harry Orchard.
If somebody should start a Taft bear
craze two years hence to take the
place of the Teddy bears, some of the
women folks will have their arms full
when they lug theirs around.
With J. Pierpont Morgan buying
their castles and heirlooms, and Rich
ard Croker winning their money on
the derby, the British are having a
hard time with the Americans.
Senator Porter, of Montgomery, who
Is opposed to the direct primary, says
he wants to see all party factions wiped
out. The way to wipe out party fac
tions Is to have a direct primary.
Clad Hamilton Is talked of as a can
didate for state senator In Shawnee
county. How refreshing it would be
once more to have a real state senator
like Captain Hamilton would make!
The magazine writers and newspa
per men are having lots of fun with
Fairbanks, and the vice president is
Just the sort of man who cannot see
the Joke, which makes it all the
funnier.
A blind man has been nominated by
the Temocrats of Oklahoma for United
States senator and now the Democrats
are talking of nominating him for pres
ident. That would be a mean trick to
play on a blind man.
Henry S. New, chairman of the Re
publican national committee, said re
cently that the Issue in 1908 will be
Theodore Roosevelt, and that the buc-
cessful candidate must be a Roosevelt
supporter. "Those who have been crlt
lcising the president for his handiwork
in various recent exposures," says
Chairman New, "cannot keep their
equilibrium in 1908. They will be beaten
long before the country goes to the
polls." Yet Mr. New Is one of the Re
publican wheel-horses of Indiana, the
home of Mr. Fairbanks. And Fairbanks
lacks a great deal of being a supporte;
of the Roosevelt policies.
ItAKKY BOXE'S JOB.
The selection of the United States
district attorney for Kansas by the
department of Justice to go to Col
orado and conduct the prosecution of
fraudulent mining companies, is a com
pliment for Mr. Bone. The government
has set out to put a stop to these
frauds as far as it is able to do so,
and to that end it is Indicting the pro
moters of the frauds for Improper use
of the mails.
The mining craze that has swept
over the country in the last two or
three years Is responsible for these
frauds. There are legitimate specula
tions in mining, but this very fact has
made the frauds possible. Investing in
a mine before Its producing qualities
are proved by actual deeds is a good
deal of a gamble anyway, but It Is
legitimate if the promoters tell the
truth so that the investor or rather,
the speculator may know Just what he
Is going Into. He pays only a small
price for his stock, with the under
standing that the money is to be used
for development purposes, and he has
a .chance to win big profits if the
project is legitimate.
But the success of some of these
projects paves the way for the fraud.
The mining shark "salts" a hole in the
ground, or he misrepresents it. A show
of developing It may be made, but most
of the money from the sale of stock
goes into the promoters' pockets. Such
deals are deliberate swindles wherein
the purchaser of stock has no chance
whatever to win.
It is these frauds that attract the at
tention of the inexperienced investor,
the person with a little money to in
vest and who can ill afford to lose It.
The shrewd business man and the cap
italist do not "bite" on such schemes
without thoroughly investigating them.
Even if it is legitimate they understand
that they run a risk of losing whatever
they put Into it. It is purely a specula
tion. But the widow with a small
bank account and the man with a few
hundred dollars saved up are deceived
by the fraudulent promises of big divi
dends made by dishonest schemers, and
their savings go to enrich the pro
moters of the frauds.
It is this fraudulent business that
the government has started out to
break up, and It has turned the Job
over to Mr. Bone. The protection of
the public calls for his unqualified suc
cess, yet Mr. Bone undoubtedly has a
hard task before him. The fraudulent
promoters will, of course, stand togeth
er. They have a great deal of money
to back them and their influence Is far-
reaching.
It will be a great achievement for
Mr. Bone if he succeeds in the task
which the government has placed upon
him. It is a distinct honor that he is
selected for the work, and If he Is
successful it Is not Impossible that It
will mean higher work for him in the
government's department of Justice.
A FRANK DISCUSSION.
Once more does Mr. B. F. Yoakum,
who is one of the chief railroad mag
nates of the country, express himself
in favor of the government regulation
of railroads along the line undertaken
by President Roosevelt, and this time
Mr. Yoakum's views are set forth in
no uncertain manner, as they are
contained In an article written by
himself in the July number of the
World's Work. The article was re
viewed at length In the news columns
of the State Journal yesterday.
This section of the country is espe
cially interested in Mr. Yoakum's
opinions Inasmuch as he is the virtual
head of the Rock Island-Frisco sys
tem, as well as a number of lesser
roads. He stands out in direct con
trast with numerous other railroad
executives. Inasmuch as he believes
the government should control the
capitalization of railroads as well as
prevent discrimination and injustice
In their rates. While he does not op
pose government valuation of the
roads, he does not believe It necessary,
as he thinks the government can se
cure all the necessary data for just
rate-making without going to the ex
pense of placing its own valuation on
the roads.
Another point on which Mr. Yoa
kum differs from many railroad men
is in regard to pools. Mr. Paul Mor
ton and others whose opinions are of
value believe the government should
authorize pooling instead of prohibit
ing it, as is now the case. President
Roosevelt's recent utterances have de
clared in favor of allowing traffic ar
rangements between the roads, sub
ject tp government approval, and this
has been interpreted to mean pooling.
Mr. Yoakum, however declares in
favor of traffic associations, and this
may be what the president also has In
mind.
Coming from the source it does, Mr.
Yoakum's article ought to do much
good In clearing the now befogged at
mosphere surrounding the railroad
question. It is from such fair-minded
men as Mr. Yoakum appears to be
men who have had experience along
that line that the solution of many
of the vexatious details of the railroad
problem may be expected.
It was a Missouri man who was too
poor to subscribe for a newspaper, but
who received a "sample copy" of one
of these mail order journals. In which
he read an advertisement of a recipe
to keep a horse from slobbering. He
sent $1.50 for the recipe and received
the following: "Teach your horse to
splt""
The opponents of the direct primary
see a terrible danger In nominating the
next Republican state ticket by pri
mary "without the. protection of law
to prevent fraud." But why are they
not also afraid of nominating a ticket
by convention "without the protection
of law to prevent fraud?" Isn't there
more danger that the will of the peo
ple will be defeated in putting up dele
gations to a convention than that It
will be defeated In a direct primary?
The plea that the primary would not
be protected by law is the veriest
sophistry, when no convention Is pro
tected by law either and It is notor
ious that politicians nearly always
manipulate the conventions.
JOURNAL ENTRIES
After a silence of nine months, Mr.
Kagey, of Beloit, again makes a few
remarks through his head gear.
The Haywood defense proposes to
prove that Orchard has committed per
jury. If the matter is mentioned to him
perhaps he will go on the stand and
confess to It. He has confessed to about
everything else.
Th. vitiiui Cltv Post charges the
czar of Russia with murder. This is im
portant, as the Post has heretofore lea
its readers to believe that all crimes
were committed by the Kansas City
Star.-
. George Lerrigo is Inviting a great
many men outside of the Y. M. C. A.
, o a niunco in bis his: bath tub
these days. Evidently Secretary Lerri
go remembers that cleanliness is next
to godliness.
Mark Twain Is now a doctor. No won
der he was knocking on Christian
Science.
Remembering the weather this spring,
,e TfiTiaiev Omnhie Is inclined to re
gard the historic Mayflower as a myin,
Congressman Victor Murdock was
born in Burlingame. He stopped off
there for a visit the otner aay, tne nri
in 17 years.
There is considerable satisfaction ex
pressed bv Kansas newspapers because
Harry Orchard never lived In this
state. He Isn't "formerly of Kansas."
a uttio Sahetha girl lately attended
her first comic opera. Upon returning
home she described it to ner granu
mother. "Oh, Grandma," she said, "all
the choir came out ana aancea.
The Emmet Citizen declares that
'the new county proposition was Dorn
tr the throh of eternal progress, but
as the exact location of the throb is
unknown, the proposition s Dirtnpiace
is still shrouded in mystery.
r-ntastronhe chronicled by Bent
Murdock: A sweet young thing weigh
ing 250 pounds, fell In love wltn a
mean old thing, weighing but 95
oounds and when she sat on his lap
she broke his leg and he is now suing
her for damages while she is suing
him for breach of promise.
neacon Walker: Some people don t
know what it is to be helpless. I did
n't either until I undertook to find a
present to send to the new DaDy De
lonirinir to mv sister. That was one
place where the grand hailing sign of
distress did me no gooa i nave
kept track of the time for the past
year and figure that I have lost nine
hours and fifty minutes waiting for
men to walk across the floor, lift the
lid of the stove and spit out a gob of
tobacco juice before they could tell m!
what they wanted wnen ivovj
first begins to sow her germs in a
young fellow's system he will waste as
much time tying nis necKiie as a gin
will in doing up her hair To get
a real conservative idea of values you
want to listen to the small boy com
pare the college professor and the
home run hitter of the local ball
team If you happen to like her
real well it won't bother you a bit
when she does make a horrible play
in the game of whist when she's your
partner.
Love Comes high sometimes, but it
ignores expense as well as laughs at
locksmiths, if Its the right kind.
"Nearly everyone in . Emporia who
uses a telephone," according to the
Gazette, "was treated recently to a
three-quarters of an hour long dis
tance love affair, that was the hottest
absent treatment that has ever gone
over the Emporia wires. Tiie wires
were so badly twisted up by the wind
Saturday night that they leaked in a
thousand places, and everyone who
happened to be at his telephone at the
time heard a young man In Emporia
make love, propose and be accepted
by a young woman in Kansas City.
The young man couldn't have talked
a hotter brand of love if he had been
In the parlor with the girl, and the
rest of the family upstairs in bed. 'Ifs
costing a terrible lot to talk to you,
honey,' the man explained, 'but I don't
care. I'd spend a week's wages Just
to hear your voice If you only
knew how lonely I am here without
you I'm getting to the point
where I can't do without you. You
come down to Emporia and I'll buy
you all the clothes you want
Why, make 'em yourself Or if
you can't make 'em I'll give you the
money to have "em made , .1 just
got to have you. no matter what it
costs.' The young man cooed over the
telephone in this strain for three
quarters of an hour, and the girl
finally gave up and said she would
come. The bill for a three-quarters
of an hour conversation to Kansas
City is $6."
QUAKER RE FLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
If a woman treats her husband like
a dog she must expect him to growl.
Some people are as much afraid of
a microbe as other people are of a mad
dog.
It is just as well to get there with
both feet if you feel that you have a
kick coming.
Tact is simply the ability to Increase
the admiration that other people feel
for themselves.
Money may not make the man, but
substract the money from some men
and there Isn't much left.
It may also be true that It Is none
of the business of one-half the world
how the other half lives.
Many a poet might have kept the
wolf from the door with the money he
has spent on return postage.
Blobbs "She literally threw herself
at him." Slobbs "Well, you know a
woman can never hit anything she
throws at."
A woman should be Just as dear to
her husband in the country as In the
city. In fact, most things are dearer
In the suburbs.
Mrs. Wigwag "Did you suffer much
from your operation, Mrs. Talkalot?"
Mrs. Talkalot "Suffer? Why, I
thought I should never live to tell the
tale."
Scrawler "Hello! Scribbler. What
are you doing now?" Scribbler "I
am compiling a book of bright sayings
of small children." Scrawler "Think
there will be any sale for it?" Scrib
bler "Sure. Every father of a two-year-old
will want one."
"p. jl
J AY HA WKER JOTS j
KANSAS COMMENT
WHAT TO DO.
There are times when we believe
that an individual Is to be commended
for administering Justice with his own
hand. When some ghoul, who de
lights In tearing a woman's character
to shreds, brings to you a story re
rogatory to come girl hitherto respect
ed, Just swat him good and hard and
let the truth or falsity of his story not
be an issue. Under the laws of society
guilt in the man is condoned while a
woman whose character is assailed
must sink into the gutter unwept and
unmourned. We may regret the cus
toms, which do not give the man and
woman equal punishment and an equal
chance to condone, but as we cannot
alter existing conditions the least we
can do is to insist upon the purity of
the woman assailed unless proof posi
tive to the contrary Is forthcoming. At
the best the woman'9 lot is a hard one,
so In the absence of father or brother
to defend her good name. It should be
our duty to remember that we, too,
have mothers, wives or sisters, and if
we cannot silence scandal mongers by
our contempt then a good swat on the
point of the Jaw is mighty convincing
at times. Marysville Advocate-Democrat.
Everybody did only congenial work,
who would wash the dishes?
Every home had competent help,
what would there be to fuss about?
Everybody had the same1 tastes,
would there be pleasure enough to go
around?
Quarreling were forbidden by law,
what would some people do?
Everybody in the world where a pes
simist, would we ever have any pros
perity? Everybody had the power to make
himself over, how many would avail
themselves of It?
Life never had any drawbacks, would
we become Insane?
We did not have the newspapers to
find fault with, what would take their
place?
Every man preferred dark women,
what would the blonds do? Holton
Signal.
POLITICS.
Republican politicians who aspire to
be leaders and those who want federal
and state appointments are consider
ably at sea just now as to the exact
location of the band wagon. It Is
rather a rmlancholy spectacle to watch
the uncertain gyrations of the fellows,
who want to boss and those who are
trying so. hard to keep in the middle
of the road to the pie counter. The
Democratic pie hunters have greatly
the advantage' of their Republican op
ponents, u'rom a Kansas standpoint
there is but one man in the country
who has any show for a Democratic
nomination for president and but one
Democrat, in' Kansas, we believe he has
given up his residence in Chicago, who
has even a ghost of a chance to be gov
ernor. The trouble with the Demo
cratic pie counter is that generally
there Is not much of a counter and
mighty little pie. Holton Recorder. "
BREAKING UP THE TRUSTS.
The government is going to break
up the coal trust and has filed Its suit.
We are reared to death. The govern
ment a few months ago broke up the
paper trust, and since then print paper
has steadily advanced in price. If the
coal trust is busted up the same way
we shall have to buy It by the pocket
ful next winter instead of by the
bucket. Osborne- Farmer.-
HUMAN STATURE.
When the sun shines and the streets
become dusty, you-wish it would rain;
when it rains and the streets become
muddy, you wish ihe sun would shine.
After -you are married you wish you
were single, and if you get a new dress
you wish you had a new hat to match
it; If It Is a boy you wish It was a girl,
and If it is a girl you wish it was a boy
was human nature ever satisfied?
Guess not, and glad of it, for then
there would be nothing1 to "kick"
about. Spring Hill New Era.
A QUALIFICATION. V i
There is lots of talk about Republi
can candidates for congress in the
Sixth district, but nothing is said about
Democratic timber. The brethren had
better look around. We are still will
ing to use what influence we have In
the Democaritc party to land tne plum
for Colonel Jim Lipton of Downs.
Colonel Jim would be as able to laugh
as loudly as anybody when the returns
came In. Osborne Farmer.
NO FILLING THERE.
Dr. Wiley now explains that it is not
pie, but the filling of the pie. that is
t'angerous to health. The boarding
house pia is vinaicated. Leavenworth
Times.
FROM OTHER PENS
ASK SOMETHING EASY.
Is this nation founded in love of lib
erty, made generous by the plethora
of its wealth, lifted to grand heights
by the freedom of individual thought
and Itself the highest concept of gov
ernment yet born to earth, to stand
time's ministering angel among world
powers, the big brother to the poor
and tne wean XJenver jxepuDiican.
o
SORE ON THE GAME.
If the baseball that Is said to be
making rapid progress in Great Brit
ain is of the variety that some of the
clubs are providing in this country, it
should never again be complained that
Englishmen can not appreciate a Joke.
Providence Tribune.
IN PEACE PREPARE FOR WAR.
Peace with honor is to be had with
the aid of an adequate navy, and It is
not to be had In any other way. Until
human nature changes to retreat from
danger Is to Invite attack. New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
WILL NEVER DRESS LIKE MEN.
wm lrnmdn ever dress like men?"
niro a vw Vnrlr reformer. No. Even
If they wore trousers they would want
to put them on Dy poking tneir neaas
through from under. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
SPARKS.
When President Roosevelt's "big
stick" clashes with Mr. Baer's "divine
rie-ht." it may be expected that some
sparks will fly. Columbus Dispatch.
RASPING TO BAER.
That raucous, nerve-racking sound.
Mr. Baer, is merely the government
filing its little suit. Chicago News.
SKATING.
The skating is not as good as It was.
but for a few days yet it would be
wise to keep muftst where they can be
found on short notice. New York
Tribune.
THIS IS CANDID.
There are growing evidences that
Mr. Watterson's "dark horse" is a
chestnut. Bryan Commoner,
SHE MUST HAVE IT.
She may have grace, she may be fair.
She mav he e-entle nnt vefineri'
j She may have talents that are rare.
But in the background she must stay
Unnoticed by the strong and brave.
If she has not found out the way
To do it In a Marcel wave.
Who cares for soft bewitching eyes
Or for a finely chisled nose.
Or shell-like ears or luring sighs
Or cheeks the color of the rose?
Who cares how sweet her voice may be,
n. macier now sne may Denave,
If she neglects to skilfully
Arrange it In a Marcel wave?
Chicago Record-Herald,
Instinctive Little Tale.
There were two brothers, George
ana wnnam. -
William was the good boy. He was
studious, methodical and economical.
He went Into business, and by hard
work and much self-denial at last ac
quired a modest competency.
George' was a gay, careless, easy
going fellow, who never applied him
self seriously to anything but enjoyed
lire as he went along.
One day, however, when he had
nothing else to do, he Invented a
mouse trap. It was a simple little af
fair, but operated on a new principle,
and was different from any other trap
in use.
He showed it to his brother, Wil
liam.
"Bill," he said, "if you will lend me
money enough to patent this thing
ana put it on the market I'll divide
all the profits equally with you."
"Nit," answered William, glancing
carelessly at the trap. "There s noth
ing.in it."
Thus repulsed, George went to a
shrewd capitalist, who at once invested
$5,000 In his Invention.
And lost every cent of It.
William was right. Chicago Trib
une. No Romance In Life of a Robber.
William A.'Plnkerton today made his
annual address to the International As
sociation of Chiefs of Police, In the
course of which he said after describing
the exploits of the famous band of ban
dits led by Jesse James:
"The exaggerated publications of the
exploits of this band had more to do
with the making of 'bad men" in the
west than anything that occurred before
they began operating or since.
"There is no crime in America so
hazardous as "hold-up" robbery. Over
two-thirds of those who have engaged
in it have eventually either been killed,
outright operating or resisting arrest,
lynched by posses, or what Is known as
"died with their boots on.' Many were
wounded and died from the effects of
the wounds, wThile nearly all others were
either captured and sentenced to long
terms of Imprisonment or driven from
the United States, becoming exiles in
distant foreign lands.
"Those at large are constantly In fear
of arrest, living secluded lives and risk
ing no chances of discovery by commun
icating with friends."
Sizzling Days Ahead
"Look out for extreme hot weather
soon, which will extend clear Into No
vember," Is the warning given by
Amos Fuller, a West Schuykill far
mer. Fuller, who bases his weather pre
dictions on a study of the habits of
squirrels, birds, and insects, deprecates
the action of many farmers, who. In
despair of their early vegetable crops
reaching maturity, are plowing such
crops under and sowing others., He
declares that there will be plenty of
time for the early crops to "ripen, and
that the farmers who are sacrificing
them will regret it later on.
Fuller says that large flocks of wild
geese, which usually fly northward
over the mountains early in April, just
made their appearance this week. He
declares these flocks are unfailing
weather indicators, and that the sea
son being two months late in starting,
we will not have any fall frost until
two months later than usual. Tre
mont (Pa) Dispatch to Philadelphia
Record.
He Drew the Line.
This tale relates how a bishop, ac
costed in Fifth avenue by a neat but
hungry stranger, derived profit from
the encounter. The bishop, so runs the
yarn, took the needy one to a hotel and
shared a gorgeous dinner with him
yet, having left his episcopal wallet in
the pocket of a different episcopal jack
et, suddenly faced the embarrassment
of not possessing the wherewithal to
pay up. "Never mind," exclaimed his
guest, "I have enjoyed dining with you,
and I shall be charmed to shoulder the
cost. Permit me." Whereupon the
stranger paid for two. This worried
the prelate, who insisted, "Just let me
call a cab, and we 11 run up to my
hotel, where I shall have the pleasure
of reimbursing you." But the stranger
met the suggestion with, "See here, old
man! You've stuck me for a bully
good dinner, but hanged if I'm going
to let you stick me for a cab fare!
Boston Transcript.
A Burning Nose.
A man with an Inflammable nose
recently created excitement on the
Boulevard St. Michel, Paris. He was
lighting a cigarette when his nose be
came suddenly Ignited, and It and his
beard were soon on fire. The man
Jumped about in great patn, and was
carried through a horrified crowd to
druggist's shop, where the blaze was
extinguished. It was then found that
he had a celluloid nose. Detroit
News. '
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
A woman is Just as old as she pre
tends she isn't.
Some men are willing to do any
thing except worn.
If you keep turning to the right you
will never get left.
Few men would borrow trouble if
they had to give security.
Winter has gone and summer is here
but spring forgot to show up.
A woman isn't necessarily homely
because she is unspeakably handsome.
Good habits of some men are as ex
pensive as the bad habits of others.
A shrewd man may be both wise
and honest, but the chances are that
he Isn't either.
hTe fewer attractions a woman has
for a sensible man the more fools she
attracts.
Laugh and the world may laugh
with you but It. would much rather
"smile" at your expense.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press. J
No matter how thin a girl is she
may not be so everyw-here.
Living in the country is a good
training for not going to heaven.
Lots of people will tell you the
truth if they think they can fool you
that way.
A nice thing about gambling is if
you didn't lose it that way you would
some other.
A woman has such a queer imagina
tion that when she has the stomach
ache she can think' it's a sign she is
going to inherit money.
THE EVENING STORY
Mox'a Vacation.
(By Helen Hedges.)
Vardon stopped across the street
and turned to smile at the grim old
pile. For fifteen whole rtav. v,o wmiM
nt enter those dull offices on the sev-
UU1 or two weeks and a day
he was to be care free; free to loaf,
to Invite his soul and to see Bess Cur-
I V, The ,ast was the be8t Parf- 1.
for Bess had gone to the country at
the first sign of hot weather and he
had not seen her In weeks.
Up at the house there was a case
of fishing rods, and already he could
see the brook with its green claa
banks, and Bess, sitting on a fallen
tree, watching his luck. He raised his
hat Ironically to the office building and
turned down the street.
At the corner the newsboys made a
dash for him, but Vardon waved
them aside. "Where's Mox?" he de
manded, scanning the crowd for the
tiny vender from whom he always
bought his evening paper.
"Mox ain't here no more," explained
Mug"v. "He was crossin' th' street
this afternoon and th' fire engine beat
him to it.'
"Is he badly hurt?" Vardon's face
clouded. The lame newsboy was a
sort of protege of his.
"Wouldn't it hurt you t' get run
down by an engine?" demanded
Muggsy. "Naw, it didn't hurt him.
He liked it."
Vardon bought a paper and turned
away when there came a tug at his
coat and he looked down to see the
midget, thin faced and wistful.
"Mox said would y come t' see
'im? He wants t' say goodby before
you went t' th' country. He's in the
mergency.
Vardon bestowed a dime upon the
messenger and hurried on. There
would be time to stop at the Emer
gency hospital on the way uptown.
For more than a year "Limpy Mox"
had been on that corner, rain or shine,
to hand out the evening paper and a
greeting. A queer friendship had
grown up between the two. It would
only take a few minutes. Vardon
knew one of the internes at the hos
pital and could get in even though it
were past the evening hour.
In a little while he was standing in
one of the wards with grave-faced Dr.
Tomlin looking down into the still
white face.
"We had to take the leg off," ex
plained the physician. "The heavy
wheel crushed the bone beyond mend
ing. It was better so, for the leg nev
er was much good. Now he can get
an artificial leg and walk better than
he used to; that Is, if he pulls through
the summer."
"I guess you can do that for him,"
laughed Vardon. "He's better off here
than at his home."
"Bless my soul, we can't keep him,"
cried the doctor. "My dear fellow, if
we keep our patients here until they
were fully cured, w-e should have to
refuse aid to more needy cases. The
boy must be removed to his home as
soon as he can stand it."
Vardon thought of the tenement
house district. Mox had always been
sickly. A long summer of inaction in
the stuffy hole he called home would
surely end in death. A few brief ques
tions showed how absurd it would be
to expect the organized charities to
take proper care of a convalescent.
Mox. Just coming out of the ether.
clutched the strong hand with his
bony fingers and smiled hopefully. "I
guess you'll have a good time," he
smiled. "Goodby, Mr. Vardon."
Vardon patted the claw-like fingers
but he did not echo the goodby,
though he turned away. A scheme
was working in his brain and he walk
ed home that he might think the bet
ter. It seemed like murder to turn the
lad out of the hospital as soon as the
condition of the wound made It prac
ticable, yet he could not blame the
hospital authorities. They were crowd
ed for room and the sunstroke cases
were taxing their capacity. Vardon
wanted very much to see Bess. Some
how it seemed as though he might
open his heart to her with a better
chance of success in vacation time, and
all the year he had been planning the
trip. He had nearly two hundred dol
lars saved up, for the Curtains were
wealthy and spent the summer at an
expensive resort. Yet It did not seem
right to spend all the money when it
might be the price of Moxie Solomon's
life.
With a sudden determination he
turned into a side street and present
ly he was in the Charity organization
office. The superintendent was in- j
terested, but helpless. Like the hos
pital, the demands were greater than
their resources. He might send Mox
away for two weeks with one of the
fresh air parties. More than that he
could not do unless Vardon cared to
raise a subscription. When Vardon
turned away it was with a receipt for
more than half his vacation money, in
his pocket. Mox's stay In the country
until his leg was well was assured.
It was hard to have to write Bess
that he was not coming. It was hard
er still to explain without seeming vto
ask her appreciation of his action. In
the end he said nothing of the reasons,
simDly writing that unexpected devel
opments made it impossible for him j
to come.
Mox's delight at the news of his vaca
tion brought a feeling of warmth to
Vardon's heart, but It did not relieve
the ache when Bess' cold reply came.
She had not understood and was angry
that he should have changed his plans
at the last moment.
Vardon spent two weeks at a cheap
resort near town and came back to take
up the office grind again. Bess had not
replied to his last letter, and though
Mox's beaming face as he departed on
the train for the country home repaid
part of the sacrifice, the dull ache
remained.
The next few weeks dragged miser
ably, then one morning there was a let
ter at his plate at the breakfast table
that, for a moment, seemed to stop tho
action of his heart.
Bess was coming to town on Friday
and she suggested that they might
lunch together and he could take her to
a roof garden in the evening.
"I have a lot to tell you," she wrote,
"I met one of your friends up here and
I want to tell you what he said. I shall
save It for lunch."
Somehow the days dragged by, but
Friday came at last. Sitting across the
table from her, Vardon could not real
ize hla good fortune.
"I thought you were angry," he said,
as he leaned forward.
"I was," she admitted frankly. "X was
counting so much on your visit. I had
made no other plans for those twe
weeks, and when your letter came and
you did not even offer an explanation
of your rudeness I could not understand
It. It reemed as though you wantea to
hurt my feelings."
"Could you think that?" he cried re
proachfully. -
"I am afraid," she confessed shyly,
"that In mv disaDoointment I was not
fair. Then your friend came and It
was all explained."
"Who was that?" he asked curiously.
He did not remember having told any
one or nis reason. . i
A gentleman by tne namo of soio- i
mon." she smiled. "Moxie Solomon. 1
believe it Is."
"What is Mox doing in your part of
the country?" he demanded. "I under
stood that he was at Melrose."
"That is Just below us. We drove
over there one day to see the kiddles
and Mox told his story."
Vardon moved awkwardly In his
chair. He did not want to be praised,
even by Bess.
"I suppose Mox put a lot of trimmings
to it," he said, after a pause.
"He was very truthful," she said,
smiling softly. "He said that you were
the best man he knew."
"And you think so. too," his voice
trembled with eagerness. Bess nodded.
"Good enough for a husband, your
husband?"
"I thi.i so, Dick." she whispered.
"That's what I came to town to tell
you; to make up for your lost vaca
tion." "Lost vacation," he echoed. "Why,
Mox's vacation was the most selfish
thing I ever did, since It won me you."
(Copyrighted, 1907, by C. H. Sutcliff.)
HUMOR OF THE DAY
Many a man is unable to meet his ex
penses because he is headed the wrong
way. Chicago News.
Not Musical. Biggs What's your fav
orite song, disks?
Diggs "Listen to the Mocking Bird."
Biggs Why, nobody sings that any
more.
Diggs That's just why I like it. Toledo
Blade.
"Don git too big an idea of youah own
importance." said Uncle Eben. "One of de
saddest experiences a man kin go through
is to wake up an' have to admit dat he's
disappointed in hisse'f." Washington
Star.
"Why do you permit so many noises on
the street?" asked the visitor.
"Well, you see," replied the Phlladel
phian, "they distract the attention of
strangers so they don't notice the dirt."
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Isn't it cueer that there are so many
bargain sales in umbrellas?
"W'hv so?"
"Because, as a rule, they are things of
all others to be put up." Washington
Herald.
his car."
"ITes, and I understand the sheriff put
another one on it yesterday." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Ant Veteran Yes. It was one of the
fiercest battles of the wer. The ar.t army
fell upon the green bugs and literally ate
'em up.
Willie Worm At what battle was that,
catain?
Ant Veteran Why. the battle of Ant-eat-em,
of course! Kansas City Star.
Voice (from the parlor) Mary Ann, did
?ou get the milk for the children and Fldo
n sertarate bottles?
Mary Ann Yes. ma'am.
Voice Have Fido's milk sterilized?
Mary Ann Yes, ma'am. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Newport has been admonished to set a
pattern in morality. "We'll do what we
can." assented the Newporters, "but you
know a genuine unllft requires a horrible
example. We'll be that." Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
"Of course. Tommy," said the Sunday
school teacher, "you'd like to be an angel,
wouldn't you?"
"Well er yes'm." replied Tommy, "but
I'd like to wait till I can be a full-nrown
angel with gray whiskers." Philadelphia
Press. T .
Tourist What do the, people round here
live on. Pat? ' '
Jarvey Pigs, sorr, mainly, and tourists
in the summer. Punch.
He Are you a vegetarian?
She Ob. no! I love good beef.
He Ah! I wish T were beef.
She Well, I like veal also. Plck-Me-Up.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
(From the Atchison Globe.)
Loyalty won't help you any if it Is to
a saloon keeper.
The man who whines makes other
people look pretty good by comparison.
Some men hate bull dogs so they
would censure one for chewing an
agent.
If an old man likes a rocking chair,
he can't make any claim to being old
fashioned. If a woman brags a good deal on h-?r
kin. It is a sign that they live In another
town.
The trouble with so many "walking
encyclopedias" is that you cannot shut
them up.
As a rule, when a girl begins to give
some thought to her beauty It begins
to deteriorate.
Our idea of a docile horse is one that
can be driven as easily as come men
are to drink.
A man thinks he has a good memory
because he doesn't forget to lay in a
supply of chewing tobacco.
Popularity is overestimated about
as often as the money you expect to
make in the poultry business.
Praise a husband, and his wife will
say with a sigh that she had a hard
enough time in breaking him In.
You occasionally see a girl carrying
a music roll who probably couldn't
carry a tune with its assistance.
A woman thinks a man Is a Brut a,
because sometimes she has to cry before
she can have her own way.
Before she undertakes It, the aver
age woman says every day for a week:
"I Just Must wash my Head today."
When it comes to spoiling .them there
is not much difference between the
youngest child and the only child.
There are as many excuses for the
errors of the home team as the mother
can find for the mistakes of her chil
dren. We often hear a farmer say: "I met
an automobile today, and would have
had trouble. If I hadn't been a good
horseman."
When you tell a man a big story It
is absolutely useless to add that he
he understands that.
"That's a fool notion that you are
harboring," a man said to a friend to
day. "Well," said the friend. "It's not
the only one I am harboring."
When the average father visits a soda
fountain or an ice cream parlor and
gives his order, he Is sure to say,
"Plain vanilla ice cream is good enough
for me."
"She has had such a HARD life." a
v oman said today, speaking of a friend.
The woman Is alive and well; she has
had two husbands, and both are dead.
It seems to us that she has had an easi
er time than they had.
In a coop in front of an up-town gro
cery store today, there were eleven
spring chickens. All of them were roost
ers, and blooded roosters at that. Is
this a square deal We put the question
to President Roosevelt,
When you are attacked by a man who
is a bore, or unfair, which Is the better
plan: To gfve him both barrels, or to
get rid of him with as little trouble ns
possible? We know two men In Atchi
son who promptly speak their minds to
bores and dead beats, but they seem to
have as much trouble aa other people
a

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