Newspaper Page Text
THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURlTA3i SATURDAY EVENINCJ, JUNE 29, 1907.
TOPEKA STATE J0UR5AL By FRANK P. MAO LENNAJf. f Entered July 1. 3 875, as second-class miiw at toe postomcs at xopeKa. a.u. inger in act or congrea.j VOLUME XXXIV No. 157 Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Dny edition, delivered by MHfr. 10 cents a week to any part of Topeka. or suburbs, or at the same price lis any Kn as tovm whera the paper has a carrier "'"'Bill. r mall, one tmt t3 m SLJ" three months J edition of dallv. on year.... 100 TELEPHONES. ortness frlee Ben 17 gusfness office Ind. IT Reporters Room Bell 577 Reporters' Room Ind. 58 P. MoeTennan Ind. 7K PERMANENT HOME. ,n?opk:a State Journal buHdlne:. nfl .k ansae avenue, corner of Eighth. -2tw York ofTlce: OTatlron building, at ' ntv-thlrd street, corner Fifth avenue li!.. "roadway. Paul TOock. manager. -niearo office: Hartford building. I'aui f'ock. mwtiaireT. FULL F.FAED W1HK It F" PORT OF THK ARSOCTATEI PIlrSR The Slate Joi:mnl Is a member of the Aanoelnted Presa and receives the full day teleeronh renort nf that preat news or rantsntlon for the exclusive afternoon pnMfratlnn In Toneka. The news 1b received n Th State Jour nl building; over wires for this sole pur pose. HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY. Subscribers of the State .foumril nay during the summer nay have the paper mailed rcfrulnrlv oaoli ilay t. liny address at ilm rate of ten cents a week or tlilrty cents a month r-y mall onlj). Address hnmretl as often as desired. While out of town Die State Journal will be to yoj like, a dally letter from home. Advance payment Is requested on these short time subscription, to save hookkeepinjr expr-ie. Time to cut your weeds. This la the last call for the June bride. The prohibitory law is now enforced "n rc me aining cars tnat pass through Kansas. , The wonder Is why a bomb and murder expert like Harry Orchard did not emigrate to Russia long ago. i Possibly that dirk horse presi dentlal candidate that Colonel Henry Watterson is grooming is a famous Kentucky editor. If Fairbanks should be Taft's prin cipal opponent in the presidential race, it would be another case of the Fats vs. the Leans on a big scale. Does Hutchinson call it hospitable to make the White Sox work hard for sixteen innings and then take the game away from them in the end? Prn Francisco might call Funston down by whipping the mob.' There it could assert that since it has no "un whipptd mob," the general is wrong. You really cannot wonder that ex Senator Pcffer giggles every time he thinks about hew the country has come around to some of his theories. And now Portugal is talking of turning itself into a republic and hir ing a president. Some people had forgotten that Portugal was on the map. If Japan is thinking of demanding an apology from President Roosevelt for those San Francisco outrages, it might do well to confer first with Nature Writer Long. We hear a great deal these days about the spots on the sun's face. Such things are quite common, how ever. At this time of year you can find spots on every healthy son's face. Over in Russia the "undesirable citi zens" are the newspaper editors who print the truth about government af fairs. At least the czar has given the governors of eight provinces power to banish such editors. "We must take the Initiative," re marked Mr. Roosevelt recently. In dis cussing a certain matter, and the Washington Star thinks this may cause Mr. Bryan to spike down the referendum. H. L. Resing, for several years prominent in Kansas as a railroad baiter, is to become a railroad mag nate himself. He will be right-of-way-man for a road that proposes to build from Yankton, S. D., to the Gulf of Mexico. The Hutchinson News, which Is ac customed to talking the baseball lan guage,' notes that the hit which Taft made in Kansas last week was a three-bagger. Next year, the News might have added. Taft will make a home run. The postmasters of Kansas have an organization, but It Is not thought that they will be prosecuted under the anti-trust law, notwithstanding the fact that there is absolutely no com petition among them in the sale of postage stamps. Now some of the Jap-haters In San Francisco want to get rid of General Funston, but If the Japs should come over and try to swipe the Golden Gate off its hinges, the Jap-haters would suddenly discover that they have use for the little general in their business. State Auditor Nation Is quoted as saying on returning from the east with the governor's party: "A gov ernor is about as Important In Wash ington as a third assistant Janitor about the state house." Then how important are other state officers in Washington? It tan't often that the editor of the Kingman Leader-Courier falls down in political history, but his memory ap parently needs refreshing concerning the election of 1892. He says: "Repub licans In Kingman county will remem ber the conditions and circumstances of fifteen years ago when the cry of tariff reform and a demand for Impractical things led Kansas to cast her electora vote for Grover Cleveland." As a mat ter of fact, Kansas cast her electoral vote that year for James B. Weaver. There was not even a Cleveland electoral ticket in Kansas. A SATURDAY SERMON. THE GAME OF THE GRAFTERS. They that forsake the law praise the wicKed, but such as keep the law con tend with them. Froverbs 28:4. It is an old game of the pickpocket to start the cry of "Stop thief!" and pretend that he Is chasins the culprit when he Is pursued. It directs atten tion from . himself and makes people believe that somebody else Is the trans1- gressor. It Is also an old game of the wrong doer generally, when caught, to make counter accusations against his ac cusers and try to create confusion in which he can make good his escape. This i3 what is happening now in California. Patrick Calhoun, million aire head of the United Railways, one of "the men higher up" against whom evidences of bribery have piled up and who are under indictment. Is pawing the earth and filling the atmosphere with dust in an attempt to obscure the issues and divert attention from him self. He asserts that Rudolph Spreckels, the man who made the graft investigation possible by backing Langdon and Heney with his wealth is simply trying to get control of San Francisco's municipal government himself. In these charges Calhoun has the backing of some California newspa pers, more especially the corporation defenders. As . lone as Prosecutor Heney kept on the trail of lesser of fenders, these organs that are now try ing to divert attention from Calhoun, encouraged the chase of the grafters and cried "Stop, thief!" but as soon as the heads of certain rich corpora tions were brought to bay, they began to throw mud at Heney and Spreckels. This is what happens when every influential grafter is cornered. Kansas saw it done three years ago when the state treasury investigation was start ed. Governor Bailey was made the victim of just such an attack because he insisted on going to the bottom of the state treasury charge. It is really to the credit of Rudolph Spreckels that Calhoun and his yellow dog supporters are attacking him. It emphasizes the fact that much of the credit for the housecleaning that is in progress in San Francisco belongs to him. Little credence ought to be civen to the assertions of grafters brought to bay when they are so pal pably for the purpose of directing at tention away from themselves. n.ven were their charges true. It would make Calhoun and hts associates In graft none the less guilty; but such counter accusations ought to have no weight when directed against such patriots as Heney and Spreckels appear to be. It Is the same old game that wrongdoers have been working since time lmme morial. .' The San Francisco case is only one out of many. This game or counter accusations is being continually work ed. Don't be fooled by It. It is at tempted in politics and In all the walks of life. Look out for It. WHERE THE TROUBLE LIES. A few days ago the Garden City Telegram, published at the metropolis of the Kansas beet sugar belt, printed a lengthy editorial on the beet sugar Question, in which it stated that wnue the beet sugar plant at Garden City was turning out 200,000 pounds of the best granulated sugar daily the local merchants in Garden City were out of sugar and unable to secure any; that with the sugar refinery located at Gar den City producing this enormous amount, every pound of sugar that is consumed In the vicinity is imported and the price is higher in Garden City for granulated sugar than It Is In Kan sas City or Denver. The selling price of the sugar Is fixed by the trusts and the beet sugar people claim that if they sell for any other price or in any other way than that prescribed by the trust it would deprive them of a mar ket for the products of their factory, just as the Standard Oil company would refuse to buy oil from an oil producer who did something that did not please It. In the end the appeal of the Telegram Is that the tariff be not taken off of sugar so that It could be brought free of duty to the United States from the Philippines and Europe, claiming that the sugar trust would so reduce the price to meet this competition that the factory at Gar den City would be compelled to close. Joseph L. Bristow asserts that the Telegram Is looking In the wrong di rection for the solution of the trouble. "It complains," says ' Mr. Bristow, "that the local merchants of Garden City must pay the freight on sugar to Kansas City and return before they can use it. The source of the evil is the combination between the sugar trust and the transportation compan ies. If the Garden City plant had a freight rate on sugar that was the same per ton per mile as the sugar trust has, then It could defy all com binations that exist outside, of a 200 mile, radius of Garden City. The peo ple within a radius of 200 miles of Garden City consume more sugar ev ery year than the plant can make, but when the price of sugar Is fixed by. a board In New York for every com munity in the United States and a sim ilar board fixes the freight rate on sugar and so arranges it that the sugar trust can crush any enterprise, so long will the people suffer outrag eous Injustice In regard to sugar as well as other commodities and neces sities." Exactly. But the railroads within the radius referred to are not entirely to blame. For Instance, It would be greatly to the Interest of the Santa Fe to give the beet sugar factory at Gar den City and others in the Arkansas Valley such rates as would build up a big sugar Industry In that locality. But If the Santa Fe aid so, eastern roads and the sugar trust would Immediate- I ly start a costly fight on the Santa Fe. J This is another potent argument In! favor of government regulation of rates. If the government establishes rates for the Garden City factory, eastern roads and the sugar trust will have no grounds for fighting the San ta Fe, and if they tried it, It would do them no good, JOURNAL ENTRIES In a wedding writeup in a Nebraska paper appears the followine: "It was delightful affair for all and a relief for the bride's father, who Is a poor, hard- wonting man. The groom is a tall, hand some fellow and should not be blamed for his brother being In the peniten tiary for horse stealing. Miss Katie looked beautiful, wearing a large red hair ribbon in her locks, and the groom has whiskers." Nothing like being den- niie. Have the machine politicians thought or blaming that recent little breeze down at Medicine Lodge on to the Square Dealers? Now that the state railroad board proposes to go over some of the rail roads of the state on a handcar, it is presumed that it will be one of the duties of the board's office force to go along and pump the car. The attention of Tom Cordry is called to this fact in order that he may again be thankful that he got licked when he thought he wanted to be the board's secretary. The sun," says J. L. Brady, "must have some designs on the girls. It has so many of them spotted." Well, the sun knows how to work designs on them when they wear peek-a-boo waists. JAYHA WKER JOTS 1 Norton has ordered three new auto mobiles, making a total of nine for that town. Tom Ellis, of the Burlingame Chron- cle, discovers another thing Harry Or chard forgot to confess to: The blow ing up of the Maine. There is a mad farmer down in Allen county. He had 1,300 bushels of corn more than he thought he needed to fat ten his cattle and when corn reached 31 cents he sold it. Now he finds he will have to buy corn and it Is 50 cents bushel down there. Admire News: A dollar bill may carry to its receiver the vilest infection. It is a sponge that takes up filth and dis- ease germs from every hand through which it passes and from everybody with whom it comes in contact. We hope our delinquent subscribers are not holding back their dollar bills for fear they may carry some contagious dis ease to us. If they are we assure them we are safe, having had the mumps whoopingcough, measles, scarlet fever. smallpox and a variety of other dis eases.1 So bring along your dollar bills and we will give you a nice- clean' re ceipt for them. Deacon Walker: I overlook lots of things, but here is one fact that hasn't gotten away from me: It is a whole lot easier to sit back in the congrega tion and criticise the sermon than it Is to set ud on the -pulpit and preach a crackerlack yourself. . .- Some how or other people just can't get the idea out of their heads that way down at the bottom of every old maid's trunk is the photograph of the man She Could Have Married I have noticed that when a girl deliber ately baits her hook and goes to fish ing for a husband, she is more apt to land a crawnsn than a Diacic Dass. . . "Aggememmon," said I to one of the members of our church the other day, "aren't you going to give anything toward the preachers salary this year?" "No," he replied very era phatically, "I gave five dollars one year and didn't get a bit more trade from the members, and I made up my mind that it was simply throwing money away. GLOBE SIGHTS. From the Atchison Globe. It's a brave man who will marry a twin. The easiest way for some people to forget Is to try to remember. A good way to find out a girl's faults is to brag on her to her mends. A man's interest in a buttonhole bouquet depends largely on who pins it to his coat. You will find no go-without-break- fast-two-meals-a-day advocates in the harvest fields. The explanations of the losing teams are very little help to their per cent or batting average. A loafer Is pretty sure to complain if the places he Infests are not provid ed with electric fans. The authority of some parents over their children is painfully weak; pre sumably from lack of exercise. i It doesn't tire a farmer to walk around his farm, but it tires him mightily to walk around a town. The brakemen now refer to the night passenger train on the Central Branch as the "Virginia Creeper." As a rule, the boy whose complexion or clothes suit his mother, is missing a good deal of fun that la rightfully due him. Any man is jealous when his rival Is getting the best of him. And any man is jovial and broad minded when he is ahead. An Atchison man had a good pic ture taken twenty years ago. and is still using it, although it doesn't look at all like him. Anything that isn't good to eat, or useful as a noise producer, will never be a good seller If you are catering to the boys' trade. A man may think a woman Is a coward In some respects, but he is convinced she is reckless In the use of a gasoline stove. You hear women speak of "secrets of the toilet:" There are none. Every one knows exactly what a woman does when she fixes up. The Lancaster Literary society is wrangling over this proposition, "Who invites the kin to visit at the homes: the women or the men ?" The terrors of starvation loom large In the stories from famine districts. but in this land of plenty people con tinue to die cheerfully from overeat ing, and no one thinks much about it. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From the New York Press. The average woman can call a walk around the block a foreign tour. A man can make a lot of money by getting other people to do It for him. Complimenting a girl on how pretty she Is Is the best policy, especially if she isn't. An unhappy marriage Is like climb ing through a barb-wire fence with out getting through. KANSAS COMMENT LEARN FROM THE CHIGGER. There are times, you will agree, when everything seems to go awry, when any expense of energy seems a waste, when you reel inclined to chuck it all and ex. claim, What's the use! It isn't given to mere man, perhaps, to be satisfied for any extended period. The fact is that your average individual is - a auitter. Possibly his quitting is only a short, oc casional interruption in a course of gen. eral application, but nevertheless, he quits now and then, and In that respect he nes gotten awav from nature. There is much that the human race might learn from the lower orders of animals over which we claim to exist in supremacy. There is the chigger, the North Esplanade chlKser. for Instance. Does the chigger ever quit? Study his habits and his haunts and you will find him continually on the move. His loco motive faculties or facilities are not of the Twentieth century kind, for he may be tomorrow only a short distance from wnere he is today: but he is indefatiga ble, always busy, always alert: The chigger never sits down to await an op portunity, he gets out and hunts for it and sooner or later he finds what he seeks. In all rt your experience with chiggers, did you ever know one of them to scorn an opportunity? Don't they set tic right down beside it, digging and delvi -g to create a. rosy landscape of which they never weary? Nor does the chigger after he has secured for him self a sustenance and a reliable source of supply ever turn away to test fickle fortune in new fields. And his work is his monument, beside which he has "wrapped the drapery of his coach about him and lain down to pleasant dreams." Condemn the chigger as you will, you can not scorn his performance. He "gets there." Not frequently, but in every instance. Learn from the chigger! Leavenworth Times. INVESTIGATINOTHE PRIMARY. Grant Hornaday. who has come out so frankly in favor of the primary elec tion law, is in Oklahoma investigating the Democratic primary about which so much has been said. Hornaday and Roy Hoffman, the defeated candidate for United States senator, are close frlend3, having been roommates at school. The Democratic primary, which lacked all legal restraints and was the only one held on the day, is subject to consider able criticism- because of alleged Irreg ularities and the expense connected with it. But the Kansas candidates will find out all about how it worked. There have been a good many primary elections held in Kansas in recent years. These have not been attacked, by the defeated candidates, nor by the newspapers, any thing like as severely as the Oklahoma primary. Perhaps the contests were not close. Arkansas City Traveler. GIVE HIM ASQUARE DEAL. The assistant attorney general says that a probate judge can revoke a per mit without a hearing. This would be arbitrary and It Is doubtful if it would be expedient. The public believes in a square deal and it would hardly , be square to revoke a permit arbitrarily. The druggist who is accused of violating the law is entitled to a hearing and a showing. Lawrence Journal. , a Kansas" opinion. . While Bill White's sermon to the Oberlin college graduates was a good one, still we agree with Colonel Alpha betical Morrison- that Bill Is a better story writer than-a- preacher. There are plenty of. good sermonizers but mighty few good story writers. Bill ought to confine himself to the latter specialty. Hutchinson News. . s. . patience' . Job may have been a patient man as patience was rated in those days, but did he ever have to stand in front of a postoffice window until the fellow in front of him got a money order made out? Wichita Beacon. FROM OTHER PENS THE END MUST BE FREEDOM. The recent mutinies of the troops at the czar's palace and in Odessa and at Kiev were not caused by the dispersal of the duma, but by the spirit which frightened the government into its dissolution. It was Impossible, even in Russia, for such universal demon strations in favor of freedom to go on week after week without making somo impression upon the army. What theso separate military movements in dicate cannot be inferred, because the government is suppressing as far as possible all news of disaffection In the army. That there should be an out break in. the Black sea ought not to have surprised the public, but that two crack regiments guarding the czar should have revolted, and that a battalion at the ancient fortress of Kiev, between these spots, should fight a pitched battle with loyal troops. Is something that the public is scarcely prepared for, even in Russia. Baltimore American. BRYAN AND THE TARIFF. Mr. Bryan challenging Secretary Taft to say what he thinks about the tariff, cuts a queer figure. All that Mr. Taft had to do was to say, as he did in Kansas yesterday, that he had lready expressed himself clearly on that subject. He believes thoroughly in cutting down the Dingley rates. His blunt speech to that effect in Maine last year brought upon his head the stage) lightnings of the Protective Tariff League. It has declared him not a good enough protectionist to be In the White House. So the secre tary's tariff record is straight. But how about Mr. Bryan's own? Upon that winning issue for his party he has persistently turned his back. New York Evening Post. truthTtelling. Tho test of a civilization is its re gard for truth. Truth is nothing more than honesty. The habit of telling the truth begets accuracy of statement. and the habit anions: a people of hear ing and expecting the truth produces the truth. Honest men who have no intent to deceive are called truthful. but if they are lax and careless and have been habituated to loose state ments, and themselves place no great value upon truth for Its own sake, they are pretty sure to be inaccurate. and, therefore, untrustworthy. For this reason, perhaps. Sir Walter Scott declared that the right education for a young man was to learn to fish and to tell the truth. Philadelphia Ledger. HOUSEHOLD CARES. As soon as a woman finishes clean ing house she begins to put up pre serves, and then it'll be time to clean house again. Baltimore Sun. SUNSPOTS. The world is coming rapidly to the conclusion that the main use and pur pose of sunspots is to give astrono mers something to form theories about. Philadelphia Inquirer. OBSERVATIONS. Vex not your soul with o'er much thought. ror iiius yon conjure woe; Life is unpleasant, hence, be taught. Its suffering to "know." Unless you labor all day long You can't nfford enlovment And if you do here's something wrong xuu spend uie in employment. To gain the more in heaven we On earth must have the less. Which makes life, as you plainly see, A howling success ! St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Tho Greater Happiness. (By Nancy Brent,) Miss Ryland turned from the win dow where she stood picking the withered blossoms from the azalea. u.aa looicea at ner patient. xoa seem restless. Would you like me to reaa to you awhile?" she asked. "I'd rather have you rub my head wnn tne Day rum." he said Deevishlv. She took the bottle iTOth the eahlnet and poured some In the palm of her urm wmte nana. "That's more like livinsr." He srave a sign oi relaxation as the soothing er- iecx stoie over mm. "Had a Drettv ciose can, didn't i. Miss Ryland?" Pneumonia is alwavs a tirsnm business," she answered, unconscious ly, trying to rub his hair into covering me oaia spot on his head, "but the doctor says you may start for Palm Beach tomorrow if you have no fever tonigni." By Jove. I don't know whether I want to go or not don't seem to have energy enough- believe I'd rather stay here and have you look after me a wnue longer it's pretty comfort able." She took a cloth and wiped off a drop of bay rum that was trickling toward his ear, and turned his head so she could rub the other side. "But Just think how fortunate vou are to be able to leave the hospital for such a lovely rest at Palm Beach," she said cheerfully. "I've always longed to pe tnere with beautful clothes- and no worry over the fact that I was eating a five-dollar bill up during the day and sleeping away another five at nignt. Money doesn't give me every thing, he grumbled. "My owning a iew minions aidn t keep me from having this beastly attack. How would you like to go to Palm Beach ana look after me?" he asked sudden ly, looking Intently at the handsome race bending over him. She gave him a startled erlance and the bay rum splashed down his fore- neaa and ran perilously near his eves. xou will not be sick enousrh to re quire a nurse," she said quietly. isuc i would like to have vou look after me you have a way about you tnat is resttui and I think It would be fine to have seme one as capable and as comforting always at hand. Suppose you marry me and go with me?" She set the bottle on the table und looked at him in astonishment. "I'm afraid you still have some fever," she said, reaching for the little thermome ter. "I don't think it is a sign of fever to recognize a good thing and want it. The proposition has its good points for both of us I would have a wife that. I would be proud of. And you could cer tainly roll in a chair at Palm Beach and not" worry about the hotel bills." "But is that the greatest happiness that can come to a man or a woman? You have had more experience than I. You are about 45, I should think, and I am 28. I have always looked forward to loving the man I married." She leaned her elbow on the table, and her violet eyes were large and serious as a child's that consider a problem too deep for it. "I've never given much thought to love as a romance," he said, pushing the counterpane from his neck, and leaving his arms free. "But I think a nice, comfortable friendship would be far more satisfactory." "I suppose it Is, as you say, comfort able to stay on the level plain but don't people who make such marriages fall to reach the heights that women, In their hearts, always long for? have always imagined that, on the heights, the air was more glorified." "My dear woman, I'm afraid you've been reading novels take my word for it that a nice comfortable existence is the only sane life and that only young and hysterical fools ever reach the heights that you are describing and then they don t stay there long, they tumble back - to earth quick enough. hope you'll get that out of your head and come with me tomorrow. "I couldn't do that, anyway," ehe said decidedly, "it's almost a part of the ethics of our profession tha't we don't accept offers of marriage from our con valescent patients." "Do you think because I've had pneu monia It has necessarily left my mind weak?" he demanded. "No I don t think that and I ac knowledge that your offer has Its temptations. Let me think it over while you are gone. I'm leaving in an hour, and am to take a week's rest myself. I must be saying goodby now," looking hastily at her watch. "I hope you" will soon be strong and well and I will think over your plan while you are gone." Once In her room she went to her wardrobe for her one gala day dress. for, to celebrate the beginning of her week s holiday, she had promised to go with John Martin to the theater. There was a tap at the door, and one of the nurses looked in. "Seems to me you are doing the so ciety act with a vengeance tonight. Here's a big box of violets for you. I thought you said it was a mere news paper man you were going with?" Mary Ryland opened the box, a flush of pleasure on her face. "Oh but he's a dear! He always thinks of the little things that please. When she pinned on her hat, she looked in the mirror at the violets, fresh and sweet against the soft gray of her gown. "If I promise to marry him when he comes back from Palm Beach I can have violets every day if I want them," was the thought that ran through her mind, but it was in a haiv. indefinite way, mixed with an idea that to buy violets herself would not eive her so much pleasure as to have some one think to buy them for her. "You are a vigorous bit of the out side world," she said when she met Martin In the reception room and they started for the car. "And you are the best bit of this world and a promise of the next," he said, catching the end of her chiffon scarf that was falling from her shoul der and throwing it carefully around her throat. "My dear child, you take care of everybody on earth except yourself. It's spring, of course, but the air is so chilly you ought to keep that lace stuff on your chest covered." She laughed happily walking be side him with light, springy steps. "You treat me as if I were an Irre sponsible child that needed watching." "As for watching you I always do that you must have known 'for months that I'd " like nothing better than taking care of you always. There, THE EVENING STORY wouldn't be much luxury to offer you there would be plenty of love but I want you to have- everything. Yes terday I chased all over town for a story that the chief wanted and I was lucky enough to get it exclusively. The old man said It was worth five hun dred to the paper and he nearly Knocked the breath out of me by hand Ing me a check. The very first thing i thought of, little girl, when I got calm enough to think, - was that five hundred would furnish a flat. Could you be content to live In a tiny flat and trust me to take care of you as best I could?" He peered eagerly Into her face and neither of them saw the cab . drawn by a madly frightened norse dash around the corner. When she recovered consciousness, she was on a seat in a corner drug store, with John Martin bending anxi ously over her. Drink all this." he commanded, tak ing the glass from the druggist. "I be lieve your arm is broken, dear, and I feel murderous enough to smash every cab in the city to kindling wood." ssne smiled faintly. "I think you had better leave one whole one, and call It to take me back to the hospital." In the cab he placed her arm. ac cording to her directions, in a position that would give her as little pain as possible, then drew her head against his shoulder. 'Poor little girl." he said, commisser- atingly, "this is a sorry ending for the pleasant evening I hoped you were go ing to have." She sat in silence, and unconsciously her face nestled into a more comforta ble position on his shoulder. His arm held her, to break, as much as possi ble, the jolting of the cab. Still half dazed and not wholly recovered from her faintness, her mind, with a pecu liar reflex action, ran over and sup plemented the thoughts of the day. John, ner voice was faint and sleepy. "I'd rather live in the tiny fiat than to roll in a chair on the sands at Palm Peach forever." He tried to see her eyes by the light through the cab window. My dear I'm afraid you have some fever," he said, anxiously. (Copyright ed, 1907, by E. C. Parcells.) Whirled Fifty Times by a Flywheel. "Looping the looo" fifty times in thirty seconds, held fast by the beltine of a big flywheel, was the experience yesterday of Samuel Kronfleld, a ma chinist in a paper box factory, at 59 Liberty avenue. East New York. To day he will be back on the job. with only an increased respect for the whirling wheel. Kronfleld turned his back upon the machinery in an absentminded mo ment, and forgot he was wearing a loose jumper. A careless step, and the belting caught the garment and shot him aloft. Then, at the rate of a hundred revolutions a minute, he was carried around and around, one instant grazing the floor, the next al most scraping the ceiling. Girls screamed and covered their eyes with their hands. Men were thrown into a panic. Kronfleld, in the midst of his pinwheel flight, yelled lustily, "Shut her off!" But it was a full half minute before another ma chinist signaled the engineer and the revolutions lessened In speed. The flywheel stopped, with Kron fleld on top. and he fell fourteen feet to the floor. He was picking himself up when others went to his aid. An ambulance took him to the Brad ford street hospital, though he didn't want to go. Beyond a few cuts he was not hurt. He said he would show up for work this morning with a belt around his Jumper. New York Amer ican. Better a Bachelor. A muscular Irishman strolled into the civil service examination room. where candidates for the police force are put to a physical test. 'Strip," ordered the police surgeon. 'What's that?" demanded the un initiated. 'Get your clothes off, and be quick about it." said the doctor. The Irishman disrobed and -permit ted the doctor to measure his chest and legs and to pound his back. "Now double up your knees and touch the floor with your hands." He sprawled, face downward, on the floor. He was indignant but silent. 'Jump under this cold shower," or dered the doctor. "Sure, that's funny!" muttered the applicant. "Now run around the room ten times to test your heart and wind," directed the doctor. The candidate rebelled. "I'll not. I'll stay single.' "Single?" asked the doctor, sur prised. "Sure," said the Irishman, "what's all this fussing go to do with a mar riage license?" He had strayed into the wrong bu reau. Ladies' Home Journal. A Hopeless Case. "Yes," said the business man, "I have given up trying to collect that little bill from Bilklns. You see. he is a big, mus cular fellow, and he used to throw my collectors out." "Then why didn't you employ a wo man collector?" Inquired a fellow tradesman. "He couldn't do that to a woman." "That's what I thought, so I got one and sent her round, but she never came back." "Why not?" "He married her." Spare Moments. QUAKER REFLECTIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. The man of the period is really the man of the dollar mark. Many a fellow lacks determination, except that he is determined not to work. The evil that men do also lives aftar them. The neighbors keep li alive. Even the man with a poor memory may find it easier to forgive than to forget. There may be nothing new under tho sun, but the druggist can always give yu something just as good. When a fellow begins to call a girl by her first name she begins to see visions of being called by his last name. Nell "When she married him she thought he was a brilliant match." Belle "Yes. and now he can't even match a ribbon for her." "Riches have wings." auoted the Wise Guy. "Yes, especially ostriches," added the Simple Mug, thinking of his wiivs new nat. Wigwag- "What Is your wife maa aoout now'" Henpeckke "Her ab sentmindedncss. She was going to scold me about something, and she can't remember what it was." "Congratulate me," gurgled the Chi cago bride. "I am in the seventh heaven of delight." "Ah. you have! been married six times before, I sup pose," insinuated the Boston woman. Poiiy Pinktights "The prima donna complains that she has a sore throat." Fanny Footlights "I shouldn't think that would make any difference to her. She always sings through her nose." Mrs. Muggins "Do Mr. and Mrs. Highflyer get along well together?" Mrs. . Buggins "Oh. beautifully. He lets 4ier have her own way in every thing. She Is now suing for a divorce, and he Isn't contesting It." , .... ... . f i.ai no oocnecuons to Cioiorno. Hoch saflng hiss salary. All I am' kicking aboudt lss dot he vondt gafe me der reei-pee. "Proonss!" sayss Gus Gobblestein hauser zwel times, und den egspector ates. "Chusd hear dot dub preaching, 'push Topeka. Der only vay he vouid cfer push Topeka vould be toward der Missory line. In range uf der K. C. beer vagons, yet." Und now dot Misder Zook haf proofed dot he vas not killed lasd Suntay, let us began ad der commencemendt und find a noder name fer der remainis. Und yet, dot umper vlch chased der Vichita bonch vas nod such a much ness es a priseflter. From vlch ve may gadder dose sveedly solum taught dot gall und a larche voice lss more might ier den a ellum club. Be Id opserfed, dot vile der Statts Temberance Onion lss fighting der two percendt boos ad Pittsburg, der yoosers uf ninedy-sefen per cendt lss adlll find ing deir daily ox coos fer a fine In der Topeka bollce courdt. Von may gadder dot der prosecootir.g addorney vich iss afder Chudgs Loving, . uf Verglnny, fer shooting a should-ba son-in-law, tlnks dot pecaus der Chudge vas drunk fer sefen yearss he vas nod untldiea to a shot ad any near relatlf. But his contention lss a poor von, in Verglnny. In dot coundry, drunk fer sefen yearss lss recognltioned es a nat ural condition, und near-relatlfs iss considered froot fer der felrsd picker. Derefore, rouse mit der prosecution und score sigs runs fer der defense. In Noo York a burgoller svlped swei fiddless valuatloned ad $5,000. Unlnss dot sdory iss a Jessiechames, I vlll readily testify dot dose fiddles vas In no vay relationed to der von yoosed py a neighpor uf mine. Misder Bello, der Dagotallian chendle- man vlch vendt to sleebp on a train irainf nind una voke oop schaoding sefen er passengerss, should be pudt to sleebp again, in such a vay dot he vlll nod vake oop-er-shooding passengers. IIS Uf der hundrets uf victims vich haf peen sendt oudt py der umploymendt achencies to "safe der vheadt crobp" could gedt to gedder und surroundt der umploymendt achendt, id iss a safe bedt dot dey vould nod ledt him gedt avay es eassy es der Vichita gang did Umper Eckman. ; Der hisdorian vich haf discofered a misdake in der names uf der signers uf der Declaration uf Independence, may tink he iss a lot uf a much, but he vould nod be doos-high mit der feller vich iss going to discofer a cure fer late spring chiggera Led uss now go Indo der commiddee uf der whole und frame oop a obening speech fer I. D. Young yen he goes to congress. He should be allowed some voice in der madder, derefore I moof dot ve stardt id like dis: "Id seems to me like-that-thuh pee-pul-ah sent me HYER by a migh-tee small margin." Der inflectioning und cheneral make oop uf dis effordt vlll fit hlfs delifery. y und der prewailing circumstances uf 4 der occassion, mighty Veil. Der town uf Brewster, Thoma eoun dy, adfertises fer a drug store, also a bedder train serflce. Der train serfice pardt uf dot iss easy to understood, but Brewster, Thomas coundy, should specify vedder Id vants ids drug sdore mit er mlt-ouat. Uf Secretary Wilson really iss afder Our Misder Coburn, he shows a lack uf Intellichendt inrormationing. tut efen dot iss no albino fer Secretary Wil son, fer ve remember him es der bright mark vich called vestern Kan sas a "vawst desawt." POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. A timid man gets his right, hero on earth. No man Is so poor as he who ha nothing but money. Pride is the thing a political orator uses to point with. Only a note shaver can successfully whittle down expenses. Nothing warms some men no like an application of cold cash. A man is apt to be suspicious If his wife isn't jealous of him. The. fruit tree agent doesn't care to be known as a professional grafter. Some men make a specialty of ex changing their brass for other people's gold. Our Idea of a nuisance Is a man who butts In when we are talklnar about ourselves. Sometimes a man Is so respectable that his neighbors have but little re spect for him. Follow the advice of a friend and It's dollars to doughnuts you win be the loser and he will be the gainer. You can always reach the hearts of men and women by stuffing them the former with food, the latter with flat tery. It sometimes happens that the hap py look on the face of a bride is due to the fact that she realizes it was her last chance. M........s y 'f jo7E, svaj&yf