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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURNAL THURSDAY EVENING, JULY 11, 1S07.
TOPEEX STiTE MJRML. BrFRAXK P. MAO LENNAN. fEntered July L 1875. a second-class natter at The postoflice, at Topeka, 1UO, Miingr me act ui congress. J VOLUME XXXIV No. 167 Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Dally edition, delivered by career. 10 rents a week to any part of Tonka, or suburbs, or at the same price In any Kan sas town, where the paper baa a carrier r& 5!b 2Z r 2 r.5,2H' months S -"raiy edition of dally, on year.... gosfness ff'ee .BeR 1W Business office M. V Reporters' Room P'J1 3 geporters' Room nJ- g Jnk P. MaeLennan Ind. TOO PlTPM A VEVT HAMS. Tonekji. Rtt Innnul building. MB and W Kansas avenue, corner of Eighth. New Tork office: Flatlron building, at Twenty-third street, corner Fifth avenue ni Broadway, rani hiociv rawwi- ' Paul Chicago office: Hartford buuamg. Block, manarer. iTTIA. I PSPT WTRH REPORT OP THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. The 8late Journal Is a member of the Associated Presa and receives the foil day telegraph renort of that (Treat n ews rr ranlsatlnn for the exclusive aftemon Th. mm t- rv-irpd tn The fltate Jottt- rl building: over wlrea for thla solo pur- rose. . HOME KEWS WHUJE AWAY. Subscribers of the State Journal away dutlnc the summer may have the Dauer mailed reeuUirly cacu any t j any address at the rate of ten cent a week or thirty cents a month !y mall onlj). Addres changed as often as desired. While out of town the State Journal villi be co you like a dally letter from home. Advance payment Is reemesteC on these short time subscription, to save bookkeeping expense. "We trust Mars was duly Instructed to "look pleasant, please," when he had Ills picture taken. It Is not very surprising to learn that the Standard Oil company Is op posed to Taft's candidacy for the presidency. . A new political novel Is entitled, "The Great Silence." It probably refers to what the people are making over the Knox presidential boom. Another way to make the steel trust make good rails would be to take down some of the tariff bars so as to create a little competition In the steel rail business. After he had been rescued from drowning in the Monongahela river a Plttsbursr man gave his rescuer nve cents. It's a wonder he did not ask some change in return. Mr. Bradley, of San Francisco, de clares he was blown up by gas and not by powder, as Harry Orchard asserts. And as Mr. Bradley was present and participated in the event, he may know something about it. Attorney General Bonaparte will try busting the trusts by the injunction and receivership methods. Mr. Bonaparte must have been watching Attorney General Jackson do a few things to the breweries in Kansas. Mr. Fairbanks has rescued a young woman from drowning, but he Is not a candidate for a Carnegie medal there for. No, a little matter of BOO votes In the Republican national convention next year will amply reward him. This nation is only in Its Infancy, af ter all. There Is a woman In Oregon who was two years old when the first president was Inaugurated. In other words, a single human life has spanned the history thus far of this great Re public. ' Still, perhaps you could, hardly blame Colonel Joe Richards for ob jecting to allowing the railway track men to point out all the defects In his road. Very likely the colonel Is figur ing on a vacation some time in the next six or eight months, and such a procedure would keep him busy for a god while. One of the reasons why Mr. Rocke feller should have been excuseVI from testifying, according to his attorney, -was that he is getting old. And he .InrVi hVA nAAaA thot c i. Hnan nnt Minify knowledge in Mr. Rockefeller's ! case at least It is not evident from his testimony. Admiral Yamamota is to make this country a visit also. We trust Admiral Yamamota will make a note of the resources of this country and report the same when he gets ' home. It is a notable fact that the Japanese who are so anxious to fight America are those who have never been over here. "Mr. Rockefeller," remarks the Jewell Republican, "has crawled under the bed again. The government wants him to testify but he cannot be found. This being a millionaire is a nice thing." But the government finally got him by the leg and pulled him Into court; and having done that, Judge Landis Is li able to pull his leg again. The liquor Interests are claiming that there is more liquor sold in Wichita since the saloons were closed than ever before, and they are making an awful fuss about it. It is notice able, however, that no hundred thou sand dollar stocks of liquor are kept In Wichita since the Mahans took theirs out between two days. The opponents of the Square Dealers Insist that Mr. Stubbs and his friends are putting up their good money to maintain the Square Deal organization, simply because they want the offices. Sure. They are so anxious for a square deal that they want to do the dealing themselves. There ought to be no dif ference of opinion on that score. Another argument against the two c"ent fare is contained In thla para graph from the Omaha Bee: "Rail road travel out of Omaha la ao con- gested that . long lines of people are kept almost constantly waiting In front of the ticket windowB at the local stations during the hours when trains are departing. It is up to the railroads to hire additional ticket sellers and open up more ticket win dows." In time perhaps the Nebraska legislature will realize the calamity It brought on the railroads up there by passing the two-cent law. Indirectly this will hurt the farmers, too, as It will make the railroads hire more ticket sellers right when they are needed for harvest hands. A PRIMARY LESSON. It does not require a very sharp- witted Individual to perceive the les son contained In this Interview on Ohio politics which appears In the Washington Post: "It la bv no means certain that Senator Foraker has been eliminated from the presidential race," declared F. G. Miles, of Belief ontaine, Ohio, at the Ebbitt houset "The politicians of the state are still loyal to him; he has the machine in good working order, and if it retains its power the delega tion that goes to the next Republican national convention will be for Fora ker. What Foraker has to fear, and It is a strong factor, too, is tho prim ary election league, which has been organizing for a campaign to break up the Ohio machine. This league has for its object, of course, the pas sage of a law or laws that will place the election of all state officers and delegates in the hands of the people. Such a bill was introduced, it will be remembered, but was not passed. However, the league is etui fight ing, and I believe Is growing in in fluence. Representative Burton, I think, is supporting the league. He is working quietly to disrupt the Ohio machine and is making his influence felt. His idea is to fight the machine with a machine composed of the peo ple. I believe that Senator Foraker hopes only to Becure a re-election to the senate, but I do not think there is any doubt, if his friends retain control of the county committees, that it will be a Foraker delegation that goes out of the state next year, and not a Taft crowd." This means nothing more nor less than that if the Foraker machine can control In Ohio by means of conven tions, Taft will not get the Ohio dele gation to the Republican National convention; but if the people have their way, by means of a direct pri mary, Foraker will be left out. In other words, the hope of the politician and the machine is the con tinuance of the convention. The hope of the people to rule is the direct primary. PIONEER KANSAS PAPERS. In speaking of Kansas newspapers n 1859, a historian recalls that in that year the people of the territory were divided into two factions: those favor- ng the Wyandotte constitution, an anti-slavery measure, and those who made up the "African Democracy." The free state papers were the Law rence Republican, Topeka Tribune Leavenworth Times. Emporia News, White Cloud Chief. Palermo Leader, Leavenworth State Register, Leaven worth Zeltung, Elwood Free Press, Manhattan Express. Osawatomle Her ald, Linn County Herald, Cottonwood Falls Express, Wyandotte Gazette and Atchison Champion. The papers opposing the constltu tlon were the Leavenworth Dispatch, Lawrence Herald. Lecompton Demo crat, Doniphan Post, Atchison Union, Wyandotte Argus, Iowa Point Dis patch, Junction Sentinel, and the Fort Scott Democrat. It is of Interest to note that some of the papers that opposed slavery are alive and flourishing today, while not one of those that tried to make this a slave state are now In existence. A RAILROAD'S OPPORTUNITY, The complaint made by the track men's union concerning the condition of the tracks of the Missouri Pacific Is a renewal or complaints raaue iaai year concerning the Central Branch, which is a part of the Missouri Pacific system, and is in keeping with the reputation which that system has se cured In Kansas. It la a source of wonder why the Missouri Pacific has so conducted Itself In Kansas as to merit this poor reputa tion. George J- Gould, the head of the Missouri Pacific system. Is a good railroad man. It is true that he is conservative, but the Gould roads in other states are progressive and up-to-date. The Denver & Rio Grande, for instance, is one of the best roads Lin the west. The Wabash and the Texas & Paciflc rank well in the rail- -r.ld' Even the Ml88our. Paciflc east of Kansas City Is kept In good shape and Is equipped with splendid trains. Why, then, does the Missouri Paciflc In Kansas have a reputation as a slipshod road? A year or so ago the condition of the Central Branch was simply scan dalous. People from that territory asserted that not only were the ties rotten, but the tops of the rails were actually mashed off In many places. Accidents were of almost daily occur rence, and it was only after it was or dered to make repairs by the state railroad board, that the management grudgingly made repairs. Stories were told of trains being stopped because the weeds that grew beside the track blew over the rails and acted the same as though the rails were greased. Whether this ever actually happened, the writer hereof does not know, but It is certain that last August the grass and weeds were so high at some places on the Central Branch as to entirely hide the ties and the only part of the road to be seen were two streaks of rusty rails among the grass and weeds on the road bed. This was In marked contrast with the well-kept beds of the Union Pacific and Rock Island near by. The Missouri Pacific ought to be one of the most powerful factors In the upbuilding of Kansas. No other road except the Santa Fe has as great a mileage as the Missouri Paciflc, and even the Santa Fe does not so com pletely cover the state. Its mileage is almost as great as that of the Rock Island, Union Paciflc and "Katy" com bined. It has a direct Colorado line, and its western connection, the Rio Grande, controls a large portion of Colorado traffic, yet nearly all of this traffic chooses some other road than the Missouri' Pacific to come east. These lines are not written to cast further reflection on the Missouri Pa cific, but merely to point out the op portunltles for greatness that It Is al lowing to go to waste. No other por tion of the state is probably so little advertised as the main line of the Mis sourt aclflo In western Kansas. The Santa Fe, the Rock Island and the Union Pacific have built up thriving towns and developed agriculture along tnose lines, but little has been done in this way along the Missouri Pacific. The State Journal does not nretend to know where the trouble Ilea hut there appears to be a screw loose somewhere. Mr. Gould eertalnlv rinea not realize the opportunities that his road is missing in Kansas, or he would bring it up to a level with his other railroad properties. It is to be hoped that the Investigation which the rail road commissioners are now begin ning may cause an awakening on the Missouri Pacific. I JOURNAL ENTRIES Now that Webb McNTnl ed a stroke of paralysis himself, he knows how he made the insru ranee companies feel when he paralyzed i-nciii. Bume ten years ago. We are thorouchlv onniMnoo, .of the crops are safe from further frosts - k . , a. woman can keep a set-ret, out ane doesn t know what to ., Wlth 11 lf sno does keep it so v tint, a in a use Perhaps tho?e Fairbanks cocktails were made of denatured alcohol so mat iney wouldn't Intoxicate. If Secretary Loeb isn't careful about wrcat ne says concerning the move ments of warships, the country will present him with a membershi Tt est rr in the Ananias club without waiting A " X. Xfc. I JA JAYHAWKER JOTS Wichita boasts that its packing houses now have a pay roll of $10,000 a week. Twin girls weighing ' 1 pounds each were born to Mr. and Mrs. George S. McGraw of Anthony last week. Mr. Samuel Bowles of Formoso has bought himself a new touring car. Now when he takes his friends riding will they sing, "Merrily we Bowie along?" The Lord, says Will Palmer, can't do much for a farmer who lets a crust form on his corn ground. Like a good many other bad propositions, "it won't hold water." Mr. and Mrs. Henrv Walz of Fills are the parents of a new baby, and Mr. Walz will probably now proceed to live up to his name on nights when the young man insists on being enter tained. Two women were being shown through the state hospital for the In sane. As they entered a ward one turned to the other and said: "I wonder if that clock Is right?" An inmate standing near overheard her and In stantly replied: "Great Scott, no! it wouldn't be here if it was!" Observations by Will Palmer: No body ever asked the gasoline can whether red matched its complexion or not "Well. I'll be chlggered." Is what the girl said when invited to a picnic Glass coffins and glass bathtubs are now being manufactured. People who always like to he In th public eye will be glad to see things croinsr their wav. I Paola Spirit: H. W. HIghtower kill ed a copperhead snake in his yard this week. When he - discovered it. the snake was about to lure a large Brah ma nen to its reach. When he gather ed the eggs three evenings later, he found a freak. An exact miniature production of the snake that he killed the day before was embossed on the hard shell of the egg. Under a elass one could detect even the eye of the repine, me impression was so oerfect. A physician who examined the freak said the hen's fear caused the image oi a inane to De produced on the shell of the egg. Osborne Farmer: "The last of the Kansas City Jug house booze was sent back Monday night by Agent Anslev. The new order went Into effect June 1. Stuff shipped then was held thirty davs and then sent back. There is miehtv little booze coming in by express these days. Old Harvest King comes along In stray packages occasionally, but the money has been sent In. The recent rul ing of Judge Pollo?k has had no effect here. At least Agent Ansley has re ceived no orders from headquarters re garding receiving the stufT. This new booze ruling was a great Joy to the sta tion agents. Under the old way when the Jug houses made saloons out of depots it took the agents about three hours a week to fix up their C. O. D. business. QUAKER REFLECTIONS. TFrom the Philadelphia Record. Even conscience may be close mouthed. Satan ever finds some scandal for idle tongues to wag about. Many a stock gambler isn't long for this earth who is also short on futures. Despite the fact that she can't throw a stone a woman should have an aim in life. A fellow often comes within an ace of winning a lot of money, especially In a poker game. Money may not make the man, but in the case of the counterfeiter man makes the money. On the other hand, it seems as though the chess player would rather pay rent than move. The Despondent One "Would any thing ever tempt you to commit sui cide? The Cheerful One "Never! I would die first." "Life." remarked the Manayunk Philosopher, Vis a good bit like a baseball game. It isn't every fellow who makes a hit that can bring' the run over the plate." Little Elsie "Mamma, is it true that the good die young?" Elsie's Mamma "So we are told, my child." Little Elsie "Aren't you glad that I've escaped being good?" Muggins "That boy of mine has no memory at all. Everything I tell him goes In one ear and out the other." Buggins "Yes, I've frequently won dered at his abnormally large ears." Real Estate Agent "Yes, I'll sell this property to you for a mere song." Subbubs "How much?" Real Estate Agent "Well, say $5,000." Subbubs "A mere song, eh? Say, do you take me for Caruso? KANSAS COMMENT FOR BOYS. xnis is a tale for hovs. Once unon a time there was a boy who was poor and lived in the slums of a big city where all the boys like him were taught to sieai icr a living. The boy of course got caught and fortunately was taken before a fair, sympathetic Judge. For the first time the boy actually realized mat wnat ne was doing was wrong. Hs resolved never to again do by thought, word or deed anything that was dishon est, ana aoove all to be like the judge. as fair as he could with others who were wrong. The boy stuck to his resolution through thick and thin, with the result that the people believed and respected him. Once when he was grown a story wa3 told on the man, unfair and untruo in every respect. But the story did not even get to the second person. People would not even listen to it much less believe it. The man's earnest endeavor to be honest had paid. People laughed at the idea of his being dishonest and the story died a-borning. Boys, be hon est, not for your parent s sake, not be cause you are afraid of punishment, but for your own sake. You cannot succeed and be dishonest. Everyone hates a liar. There is nothing more gratifying than to have your friends know a thing is so, simply because you say so. Sabetha Herald. A NEW JOKE. Missouri's railroad board, some railroad officials, and some officials of the trackmen s union, are riding around in a palace car inspecting the ties of Missouri railroads. We have never understood why some of the en terprising comic weeklies don't cut out a few mother-in-law jokes and run a department devoted to the interesting way In which an inspector inspects without seeing anything. Atchison Globe. TOUGH, ON BOSTON. It was enough to humiliate any city, but to think it was the mayor of Bos ton who learned a speech In Italian to speak to the Duke of Abruzzi and then made the mistake of firing It at a French admiral instead. No wonder Boston is flushing. Hutchinson News. FINEART. A Mankato girl cooks famous steaks. There Is something to that kind of rep utation. You can keep house a whole lot longer with It than with a record for painting sky blue dogs on sofa pillows and the dainty girl who can fix up a fine steak would hardly be suspected of even knowing how to fry a humming bird in honey. Mankato Monitor. A THEORY. The Topeka Journal reports that one druggist in the capital city made only 34 sales of liquor during June, and six others made less than 100. On the other hand one man made nearly 2.500 sales. This disparity may not be so great as It appears. Possibly the first seven did a wholesale or a jobbing business. Leavenworth Times. HOW IT WAS ACCOMPLISHED. The small boy's mother has finally lived to see her earnest admonitions heeded by her son. Not once this sum mer has he loaded up his stomach with green apples. A mother's love and the entire absence of apples accom plished this great reform. Jewell City Republican. ENDORSING MR. WHITE. And now Representative John T. White has gotten his name attached to one of "these 'ere" congressional booms. Mr. White has emitted one or two little shrieks, but he has run- Just about all he is going to to get out of the way of the blamed thing. Freeze onto it, Mr. White. If a Republican must still look after our garden seed distribution, we want It to be one from Ottawa county. Minneapolis Better Way. FROM OTHER PENS CAPITAL AND CONFIDENCE. New York city's offering of bonds came Just at a moment to be signifi cant. It was the turn of the middle year, a financial season second only to the New Year itself. And this mid year It happens that the security mar ket is on an exceptional dead center. Always between planting and harvest there is a pause. But this year's was unusual. Never were aivldends so large, and they . reflected earnings which Justified them. The banking situation is thought to be sound, even thoush it is certainly close. Mer chants have been disappointed in their spring trade for reasons soiely of the weather, and there have been signs of seasonable revival as the thermometer rose. Yet enly a paltry proportion of New York city 4 per cent bonds Is wanted. This is as surprising as it is disappointing. Unless explained, it extends to the investment situation a disturbance which had been thought confined to the speculative situation. New York Times. THE DEMOCRATIC NEED. The Democratic party needs a man able and willing to seize the tariff re form issue with a strong hand, drag it from the gf.rret where it has ac cumulated duet for 11 years, force It to a place In the front, and brush it up; a leader who Is not ashamed of it himself, and who will teach the people not to be ashamed of it. Charleston News and Courier. MEAN IRONY. Isn't this a good time for President Eliot to deliver another address to the Harvard students on the superiority or rowing as a college sport? New York World. WHY THEY WANT IT. To some of the third-term shouters another term for Roosevelt is not so Important as another term for them selves. Chicago Post. OFF THE KEY. Mayor Sehmitz, as a musician, de nies that he squealed. He only tried to get in tune with the band. Minne apolis Journal. o WHAT HE WILL DO. What will Mr. Roosevelt do when he retires to private life, asks an ex change. Oh, re-enter public life, prob ably. Milwaukee Sentinel. AN EASY GUESS. "The party will be stronger and can act more intelligently," Mr. Foraker says, "lf we can always wait for its duly chosen representatives to speak." The party has one duly chosen repre sentative: nobody has to wait to hear him speak. New York Sun. DIVERSIONS OF ROYALTY. Emperor William Is planning a state visit to his uncle-. King Edward. He can do this owing to the fact that the people who were'.golng to make Eng land and Germany fight have given it up and are now trying to pull off a war between the United States and Japan. Chicago Record-Herald. SOME CALIFORNIA IJMERICKS. There was a bribe-taker named Sehmitz, Who thrived by the use of his witz; To Craft nnna AriftiA He now stands convicted; Itx fitz Schmita admits that he gltx. Calamity-howler Calhoun, -They 11 gobble him not yet, but soon. And when he gets his'n. It may be state's prison, Or a hurry-up trip to the moon. A fellow well known as Abe Reuf. Of grafting gave absolute proof. ' He'I go to the pen For a short- time, and then From all sin (-so he says) stand aloof. A keen-sighted lawyer named Heney, Has proved that he isn't a greeny. And when he gets after A briber or grafter. The Job is both thorough and clean, eh? A telephone magnate named Glass, Said to be in the bribe-giving class. Has reached the decision That boodle division ... Has made of him simply an ass, A judge by the plain name of Dunne, Whom grafters in future will shun, Sent SchmUz oft to Jail . Without chance to srive ball. And the thanks of the whole state has won. E. A. Brlnlnstool in the Los Angeles Express. Used to the Altogether. William Jennings Bryan, at a din ner in Lincoln, talked about London "London," said Mr. Bryan, "Is un doubtedly the smartest city in th world. One sees nowhere else such elegance as in the fashionable London restaurants, the theaters and the parks. English ladles always wear decollete gowns at restaurant dinners and the theater. Our American ladies are readily to be distinguished at these places by their more modest high necked gowns. I was discussing this matter one evening with an Englishman, and he told me a story. He said tbat he once gave a dinner In honor of a famous missionary frcm the South Seas, and several of the more beautiful of the ladles among his guests wore gowns that were rather outrageous. After ward, in the smoking room, the host felt it his duty to apologize for these ladles. " 'Their gowns,' he said, 'may have struck you as somewhat Immodest, sir; but I assure you that no 1m modesty was intended. It is the fash ion here in London, that is all.' " 'Oh, don't apologize,' said the mis sionary. 'It hasn't affected me in the least. You forget that I have lived eight years among the savages.' " Too All-Fired Generous. A railroad reporter declared in Up ton Sinclair s hearing that freight re bates were sometimes granted purely out of generosity. Mr. Sinclair, laughing, exclaimed: "Admit that to. be true, and then your generosity is no better timed than Alkali Ike s. A traveler arrived late one night at the Palace hotel in Tin Can, and, being very tired, he ordered his dinner to be served m his room. As he was peacefully eating his bear steak, he heard a loud noise down stairs, a bang, an oath, two quick crashes, and then a bullet shot up through the floor and wounded the traveler In the leg. Putting down his knife and fork, he rose and began to hop about the room with loud groans. Suddenly the landlord Durst in on him " 'Whar did that thar bullet go to? the landlord exclaimed, laughing. 'Oh, air ye hurt, stranger? Wall, now, that's too bad! Ye see. Alkali Ike and Redface Leary had an argyment over their liquor down in the bar. and fit it out fair and square. Redface fired fust and missed, and Ike the all-fired generous cuss! he fired in the air.' Shocking. Dr. Frederick A. Cook, the noted ex plorer, was talking in New York about his idea of trying to reach the soutn pole with automobiles. "Polar exploring in automobiles seems a very radical innovation, almost a shocking Innovation, doesn't It?" he said. "It seems almost as shocking as the innovation that was employed one Sunday night upon a Brooklyn doctor. The doctor was in church. He occupied a front pew. tThe church was crowded. the preacher preaching eloquently; perfect silence reigned. But suddenly a man dashed In at the door. He held up his hand for the preacher to pause, Then he cried: " 'Is Dr. Henry Smith here?" "With all eyes centered upon him, Dr. Henry Smith rose slowly in his front seat and turned round. " 'What is wanted ?' he said. He had the grave, weary air of a man who is almost overburdened with the responsi billtles heaped upon him. " 'Are you Dr. Henry Smith " 'I am. " 'Well, doctor, I am Cache & Com pany's new collector. When will it be convenient for you to settle that little account of theirs?' Needed a Chisel. The struggling author from the wilds of Indiana boldly entered the ditorial sanctum. "I have come with my latest story," he announced. "That so?" ejaculated the busy editor. "Let us hear how It runs." "Well, this Is from the first chapter: 'Casper had been standing as motionless as a block of granite. Suddenly he drop ped on his knees before the beautiful girl with the alabaster brow and bold ly proposed. It t as then that she an Swered with a stony stare and handed him the marble heart. Then " But the busy editor reached for the clipping shears. ' "Young man," he thundered, "you have made a mistake. Take that story down to the nearest stoneyard. This is an editorial office." Chicago News. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. J Fortunate Is the milkmaid who has no kick cominsr. Unless you strive for your rights you are apt to get left. This world remembers the man who dies game for a day. A man never gets dyspepsia from eating the things he dislikes. There are many high-salaried teachers In the school of. experience. Marriage is responsible for the de struction of many happy delusions. A woman who gossips is bad enough, but a man who listens to gos sip is worse. When a girl can't sing and refuses to try she deserves more than a pleas ant look. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From the New York Press. 1 Men wouldn't care so much to smoke lf they could save money do ing it. Heaps of genius is wasted because common sense Is so much more useful. When a man understands women there are some big surprises ahead of him. ... A girl will never believe a fellow loves her unless ner ratner tries to convince her he doesn't. Everv woman tninics it sne naan t married so happily she would have gone on the stage and been a great actress. i THE EVENING STORY . The Tale of a Feather Duster. (By F. P. Summerwell.) t His first election night In New York found him drifting and lonely, In the midst of the howling mob that surged arouna Herald square. The horns, the tickling dusters, the showers of confetti, the merry inter mingling of class and mass, were all too new to De quite pleasing experi ences. He felt interested enough nowever, to move with the throng we gooa-naturedly the many familiarities of the people near him. At Thirty-seventh street and Broad way he saw a slim young girl trying lu eweape me attentions or two over zealous duster holders. He pushed his way to her side and the boys fled, leaving him alone with the lady, no longer in distress. She was young and of an alluring, limpid prettiness that made him feel big and awkward and anxious about the set of his coat. So absorbed was he In her general charm that her sud denly thrusting of a duster under his nose was a distinct shock. He had Just sense enough to snatch it and ask, "Who are you?" when she ran away. Cver her shoulder she called "I'll tell you, when you give me back my duster." Then she was gone. He moved with the capering merry makers up to Long Acre square, where he learned of the defeat of his candi date for governor, then went home. The duster he carried with him, and handling it tenderly, hoped it might prove a means to dispel the crushing loneliness which he had felt ever since he had left his native town. He often wondered what the letters M. M. on the handle stood for. His days went about as usual. He paid his lost election bet to the other young lawyer at the office. The win ner's not treating seemed strange. At home they always did but in New York everything was so different. He began to get on at the office, ana once Judge Metcalf, his chief, men tioned taking him home to dine, but the matter never went any further. The night of the presidential elec tion found him once more mingling In the swarming pandemonium that raged around Herald square. He had the duster inside his coat, and was no longer either lonely or listless, for he was hunting for M. M. to give her back the duster. I He wandered up and down, reading the conflicting bulletins, but always looking for a slender fairy of a girl who had sat like a queen in his heart for two years. The great searchlight at the Times bulldinig swung due north, to indicate a Republican land slide, while the "Journal's" bulletin announced an overwhelming vlctory for the Democrats. Farther down town the "Herald" proclaimed a small but safe majority for the Repub 1 leans, while according to a white sheet at Thirty-first street, the same thing had befallen the other party. He wrenched a yard-long horn from an impertinent Italian boy, was tickled by a lady in an ermine coat and received a shower of confetti from a German housewife all In a space of about ten minutes. He no longer looked askance at the mixed merry-makers it was New York and it all "went." In- front of the New Grand his at tention was attracted by a gorgeous motor car. On the front seat sat his lady of the feather duster. (There could be no doubt, it was she. . He felt cold and scared, but he pulled himself together and, stepping to her side, gave her the duster, handle first, and said, "Now, will you tll me who you are? She opened her eyes very wide, recognized him and the duster, and started to speak, when a . smashing blow from the man beside her sent him spinning, to fall with his head against an iron grating. His next sensation was of flying through space. Then a thousand bells rang, lights danced, voices buzzed, and he opened his eyes on a strange room. It was handsomer than his own, and beside him sat a nurse, looking out of the window. There was a calendar on the table, giving the date as November 16. It must be a mistake, he thought this was November i, election night, and yet there was the calendar. He put out his hand to draw It to him, when the nurse turned, and he recognized the gtri in. the automobile. His head ached and his hands shook, but he was good grit, ana when he met her bright gaze he said: "You never did tell me who you are." She laughed squarely at nim, saying: My brother seemed to think his answer quite sufficient. He- knocked you over before I had a chance say anything. You ought to know who I am, anyway. My picture has been on father's desk ever since the day after met you in Tnirty-seventh street, and the boys told me who you were. It occurred to me then that he ought to have one, but you never saw it. I am Marjory Metcalf, your chief's only daughter. Tom didn't know you when you brought me my duster, and before I could speak he knocked you down. We brought you home, and have had a terrible time saving your life. The nurse is asleep and I stole Into her uniform. I guess I'll have to go now, or ebe might not like It." He caught her dimpled hand and persuaded her that the nurse really needed rest, which she must perforce take so long as she was without any uniform. They had a lovely afternoon, gig gling ov-jr the Imprisoned nurse, eat ing bonbons, forgetting his medicine. and being as happy as one can be in the springtime of life. At 5 Mrs. Metcalf came In and told hem that the nurse had departed. In high dudgeon. They did not get any one In her place. Marjory and Tom and Mrs. Metcalf taking care him themselves. The night before he was to leave Marjory came up with the maid who brought his dinner. She was so per fectly lovely In a clinging white dress, open at the neck, that he had no eyes for anything except her dainty beauty. She finally decided that if he would not eat, she would feed him, and they made a great frolic of the meal. After she had made him take the last morsel, she decided to make htm presentable. So she washed his face, then she combed his hair, and then he but you would have done It your self she was so f-wcet. Of course she cried they always do and he had to kiss her again to comfort her. Then she grew a little saucy and tipped up her cleft chin and looked so Irresisti ble he simply had to Just once more. Mrs. Metcalf came In and found her daughter kneeling by Phil Pember- ton's chair with her head on his shoulder. Her mother was so over come that she forgot her grammar and exclaimed, "Why, Marjory, you've been beimg kissed." Mother." said Marjory, "now can you speak of such things before a strange man?" - ' i "He Is acting like a stranger, isn't he?" sniffed the lady of -the house; "are you engaged?" "You'll have to ask him." said Marjory; "I don't really know." "Why, yes, Mrs. Metcalf," answered Phil, "we are I am sorry Marjory never told you." "Why, Phil," exclaimed his sweet heart, "you know we have never men tioned it." Marjory turned to Mrs. Metcalf. "Mother," she cried, "don't you think father must be lonely down stairs alone? I should think you'd hate to leave him." Mrs. Metcalf went and told her hus band, who said he was delighted that he would rather have her marry a poor man who promised well than a rich one who did not. Phil stayed a week longer; then begged Marjory to marry and go with him. He was six feet three, but he persuaded this lit tle maid that he could not live with out her that loneliness would be his undoing. So they were married, not downstairs, as they ought to have been, but up in the cozy room where he had first seen her In the nurse's clothes. Mr. Metcalf gave her away and Tom was best man, while Mrs. Metcalf stood very near and smiled through misty eyes. The little bride wore the white dress with the open neck, and looked like a morning-glory. In -her hair she wore no orange flowers, not even a "sunburst, the gift of the groom" but she did wear a moth eaten, much-used feather duster. (Copyrighted. 1907. by M. M. Cun ningham.) HUMOR OF THE DAY Mrs. Knlcker Man Is inconsistent. Mrs. Bonkpr Yea. ha will ill In thA bleachers at a ball game, but can't find a summer resort cool enough. New York Sun. 'Bragley claims to have built the first passenger elevators ever used in this country. Nonsense! The Mlsslsslnnl steamboats were running and blowing up regularly long before he was born." Philadelphia Press. The beautiful blonde was presiding over booth at the church fair. A stranae man came her way. "Would you like to take a chance, sir?" she asked sweetly. "No, thank you," he replied. "I've al ready been married three times." Chica go News. "She Is very wealthy?" "Very." "Money left to her?" "No: she Is the author nf n. honk en titled 'Hints to Beautiful Women.' " "I presume all the beautiful women In the country purchased It?" "No, but all the homely women did." Houston Post. "Why, man, what's the matter?" "I have just had one of those lightning lunches." "Well?" "And now I've got thundering pains." New York Press. Pedestrian What a horrible whine you have in asking for assistance. You ought to have your voice cultivated. Tramp Dat's wot I wants money fer, boss. I'm t'lnkin' uv havin' me voice Irri gated. Chicago News. "Did I tell you the story of the old church bell?" "No. Let's hear It." "Sorry, but it can be tolled only on Sunday." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Chawles Aw. what's the most necessary requisite In sailing a boat, yeh know?" Old Salt Knowing the gentle art of swimming." Chicago Dally News. Ordinary Citizen How's the . gold mine . old man? Promoter Nicely. We are working the lower levels. Ordinary Citizen Possible? Promoter Yes, we've got the capitalists all squeezed dry, and now we're going af ter the laboring classes. Puck. Principal Medical Officer Now, my man, I want you to put your finger on one of the arteries in your neck. (No answer.) Well, there are some arteries in your neck, I suppose, aren't there? Canny Volunteer (who has heard the last man badly cornered) Well there's some as think there Is. Punch. GLOBE SIGHTS. From the Atchison Globe. About all some people get out of a vacation is freckles. Ever notice how a man whose wife Is away visiting, ls watched? False teeth are the only ones that can be extracted without pain. At a summer resort, every summer ls the hottest one they ever had. Every good farmer has three or four jobs laid up for a rainy day. The family skeleton usually comes out of the closet to referee the family quarrels. How many times some men can make fools of themselves without find ing it out. What are you mad about most fre quently? In our case, it is because we are old. The amateur gardener ls usually an adept at explaining why his garden Isn't better. It is particularly easy to deceive a woman when it comes to saying nice things about her. People talk about "different temper aments." when t'"- really mean dif ferent tempers. One reason fewer girls than boys know how to swim is that girls rely on someone teaching them. The world seems to accept the doc trine that a man should give his friend a little the best of It. Occasionally there ls a good man who is also so stupid that he will not know heaven when he sees It- What has become of the old-fashioned man who referred to the harness on his horses as "gears?" Some men are so mean they Ilka to take their wives' advice so they can tell them later now worimess it was. Tf a man is sufficiently in love. n imagines he thinks poetry, even though he doesn't attempt to write It. Tt is a remarkable crowd of children which can play games for 20 minutes without quarreling over who ls "It." You are no peach, we heard a young man say to a girl at Forest park, lately; "there are no peaches this year." A farmer sitting In front of a store said to a reporter today: "We farmers are very busy in the harvest field now." When a widow says she will never marry again, she usually follows the statement with a proviso beginning with "unless." There ls at least the consolation to the Elrla that it is a greater compli ment to be called a peach this year than It was last. What has become of the old-fashion ed man who described his anger by saying he was "mad enough to bite a ten-penny nail in two;-' The man who butts Into a family row has a large Dump or gooa juag ment compared with the visiting ball player who starts a fight wltn tne um pire. The United States buys about 60 per cent of the total diamond output or South Africa, but there are still a good many glrla .who haven't been supplied.