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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOTTBNAE TUESDAY EVENING, JULY 23, 1907.
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL By FRANK P. MAO LENXAX. rEntered July 1. 1875. as second-class matter at the pcstofflc at Topeka. Kan, u"f the act of congress. VOLUME XXXIV No. 177 Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION. Dally edition, delivered by carrier. W 'week to any part of Toieka. or """'. or at too nme price in any K.n "s town, where the paper has a carrier f ystem. gy mall, one year 3 w sft,'1- three month;:::::::.::: -g Saturday edition of dally, one year.... 1.00 TELEPHONES. Business office Bell Vt Business office Ind. IT Reporters' Room Bell S77 "Porters Room Ind. 68 T" P. MnrLennan Ind. TCO PERMANENT HOME. Torveka State Journal building. 900 and W KSn, a Ten ne. comer of Klghth. New York officer Flatlron building, al Twentv-thlrd street, comer Fifth avenue Broadway. Paul Bloch. manatrer. Chicago office: Hartford building. Paul "'ock. mwnarer. - FULL T-EASEI) WTRE KKTORT OP THE ASSOCIATED PRFSS. they would be Interested In a natural the gas at SO cents a thousand feet if the gas at 30 centsa thousand feet If a definite number of citizens will con tract to use It for five years at that rate. The inference is that the com pany will pipe It. but as some of the towns are widely separated, this seems hardly possible. Perhaps this Is the concern that Is planning: to "can" the g-as, compressed, in tanks, and ship it by freight. No matter in what shape it comes, gas at 30 cents a thousand feet is much cheaper than coal in cen tral and northern Kansas, to say noth ing of its convenience. Signing? a five year contract, however, would bind each individual so signing: so that he could not take advantage of any com petition that might arise. The Slate -1.-u.-nal is a member of the Associated Press and receive the full day telerrapt; report of that great news or ganisation for the exclusive afterncon pnniicntlon In Topeka. The news Is received n The Btate Jottt k1 building over wires for this sole pur-roee. HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY. Subscribers of the Statn Jonrnal way dnrlng the smnmcr may have the paper mailed regularly caeii day tj any address at the rate of ten cents a week or thirty cent n monib v mail only). Address changed. s often ns desired. WhJIo out of town tho State Journal will be to you like a daily letter from home. Advance payment is reqnesteel on these short time subscriptions, to ftave bookkeeplngr expr-e. If you use coal, this would be a good time to lay In your next winter's sup Ply. Mars Is evidently a warm number If he is causing the present heated term. With, revolts in Formosa and Ko rea on its hands. Japan is beginning to realize some of the evils of "ex-panslon. THE HERALD QUITS. In the suspension of the Topeka Daily Herald there is much of the pathetic. The paper has been published for six years under the management of Dell Keizer. who has expended much energy. I ability and capital to make a readable I newspaper, but although with times generally prosperous, he found the field sufficiently covered to prevent him from reaching profitable returns. Mr. Keizer and his family have a wide circle of friends and will bear their best wishes in their promising new field of en deavor. Associated with Mr. Keizer, until his recent demise, was General Hudson a vigorous, able editor, a soldier and citizen of wide reputation, an Intense and loyal Kansan. The two were prominently identified with Topeka newspapers for twenty years and more. The Herald, it has been understood, has never been self-sustaining and the wonder has really been that its life was prolonged for years without profit. Its end, therefore, came not as a great surprise- told that he had been offered a con siderable sum by Standard Oil repre sentatives to quit the Job. Later his drill-broke and he forfeited his con tract and left, the drill remaining In. the well. While the Glasco people did not strike oil, they believe they struck a Standard Oil scheme. JOURNAL ENTRIES THE WHEAT CROP. It Is estimated from threshing returns so far In that the total wheat yield In Kansas this year will be not far from 70 million bushels, or considerably more than was supposed possible six weeks ago. Of course this is guess work, and the final figures may be either some what above or below the 70 million mark. But the cheering thing about this wheat crop la the financial end of it. t... , -r, .,, .The average price of wheat In Kansas If Attorney General Bonaparte will I , . . . .. i the tobacco trust will very likely be a "P of 73 Uh buBhela wiU "f1" .rind tn r,,rni,h th material. 1 more money into the farmers' pockets liltl.Il &Ujr CtCt SlvWU 1U 1113 DIAIO. Not only that, but the expense of gath ering this crop has not been as great In the aggregate as It was last year. And again, tho farmers plowed up over a mil lion acres last spring and put It Into corn. So they will get as much money as ever before for their wheat, and they will have a million acres of wheat land for other crops besides. It Is to be hoped that another Hill mon case will not develop from the contest over paying the Insurance carried by the late L. H. Perkins. "California," says the Los Angeles Express, "has turned out the champion grafter." And here we have been sup posing, California, that you locked him up. Kansas City, Wichita and Dodge City claim to have been the hottest places In the central west last week. Is Concordia losing its old claim to this distinction? Although Japan may have forced the emperor of Korea to ab dicate. President Roosevelt has not yet been called on to do so, al though Captain Hobson may inform us of such a demand at any moment. Governor Carter, of Hawaii, where a large portion of the population are Japanese, says the Japanese are a. de sirable class of people. This country Is making a mistake in shutting them out at the behest of a few agitators in Ban Francisco. On the Missouri Pacific between Kansas City and the state line, com ing into Kansas, the Missouri railroad commission has ordered that trains shall not run faster than twelve miles an hour until the track is fixed. How, pray, did the Missouri board Inspect that track? Here is more oppression on the part of Capital: In the Marion base ball league the Bankers' standing is 1.000. the Politicians and Colts are each at the .500 mark, while the Me chanics aro .000. Thus does Capital press the crown of thorns upon the brow of Labor. Senator La Follette declares that the "country is run by Chauncey Depew and seventy-five other men, all bad." Whereupon the Omaha Bee re marks: "This will be surprising news to Depew. who has not I en able for several years to get even a fourth class postmaster appointed." , A war with Japan would furnish Kansas an opportunity to develop an Other crop of heroes. It has been lght years since the last crop was harvested and much of that crop was allowed to go to waste. In case of a Japanese war, heroes would spring to the front from every town hip in Kansas. V p In Decatur county the county commissioners are protesting against the habit Borne trainmen have of pushing tramps off of moving trains. They say it is not only tough on the tramps, but it also makes the coun ty pay the doctor bills. Then here is another objection: It incapacitates the tramp so he can not work, while If he were dropped off easily some needy farmer would grab him and set him to pitching alfalfa. "Did Senator La Follette," asks the Parsons Sun, "realize when he I was denouncing the trusts and com bines at the Chautauqua last Monday night that he was a beneficiary of one of them? Each of the chautau quas at which he spoke in Kansas and Missouri Is a part of a big Chautauqua trust or combine which is controlled by one man." Well, doesn't La Fol lette maintain that all the necessaries of life are controlled by trusts? v A largo number of Kansas towns have recently received communications from a - Kansas City firm, asking If TROLLEYS VS. STEAM ROADS. Indiana, according to a writer in Ap- pleton's Magazine, has solved the pro blem of local transportation rates, not by legislation so much as by building lnterurban trolley lines that compete with the steam roads, especially In pas senger and light freight transportation. In seven years a tremendous reduction in rates has been brought about. Not only have the trolleys reduced passenger rates to less than two cents a mile, but the service is much better than it was a few years ago. The wri ter in Appleton's gives a table showing the number of trains and the rates be tween Indianapolis and 14 other Indi ana towns in 1899 and in 1906. Eight years ago the fare from Indianapolis to Anderson, 39 miles, was $L10, and there were six steam trains a day. Now there are nine steam trains and 20 trol leys, and the trolley fare is only 60 cents. From Indianapolis to Wabash is 90 miles and the fare was formerly $2.70. There were three trains a day. Now the rate Is reduced to $1.40, and there are 14 trolley trains in addition to the three steam trains. The fare from Indianapolis to Rich mond, 68 miles, was formerly $2.05 Now it is only $1.05. Formerly there were six train&. Now there are 14 trol leys and seven steam trains. One thousand miles of track are now In operation in Indiana, 350 miles are building and will be placed in opera tion early this year; another 2,000 :niK?s are projected. Each one of the roads operating at present parallels a steam railroad. Operating these existing Hues are 13 principal corporations, each of which has one or more subridiaris. To tal capitalization Is $41,150,000 in stock and $43,080,500 in bonds, or slightly more than $80,000 per mile of constructed road. This figure closely approximates the capitalization of the steam railroads of the country, and represents a "wa tered" value of about $30,000,000, in jected In the absorption and amalga mation processes that have been re sorted to. Upon this enormous capital the growth of seven years the com panies are not only paying liberal div idend and interest charges, but are paying heavily for franchise privileges, notably in Indianapolis, where the city system takes as a terminal and track age fee three cents out of every five cent fare collected in the city limits. In its financial phases, therefore," pays the writer in Appleton's, "the so lution of this transportation problem has resulted in a manner eminently satisfactory to those who engaged in the task. The public, which provides the revenue enjoyed b" the corpora tions, is not wholly pleased; its de mands are not entirely satisfied. But the condition of that public is so vastly improved, over what It was under the steam railroad monopolies, that it is contented, confident that as long as it provides the revenue the traction cor porations will, as rapidly as possible. Increase and extend their facilities." It will have to be admitted that In its prosecution of the tobacco trust the government is biting off a good- sized chew. Why, we rise to inquire, has not some body said something about Mr. Ham be ing sandwiched in the congressional race between Reeder and Young. " "One half the world." according: to an old saying, "doesn't know how the other half lives." If the world Is at all cur ious about it he should have his wife Join an afternoon whist club. Is It possible that this temperature is caused by the hot air that is being turn ed loose on the Chautauqua circuit? There is a suspicion that some of thes nature liars are really Just natural liars. In a Kansas town It was recently re ported that a local baseball player had been killed while playing In a distant town. The local paper reassured tha public, however, by stating that there was "little, if any, truth in the report." It is always best to be on the safe side in making a statement In a newspaper. KANSAS COMMENT JAYIiAWKER JOTS Downs proposes to quit the kerosene circuit. It will have electric lights. A Horton woman has over $1,200 which she made raising chickens as a side issue on a farm. J. H. Ream shows the Yates Center News some blackberries "as large as walnuts." That's some big. A Rossville man says his corn has been growing three inches a day on an average. It is now above ten feet in height. Horton has a new girl band of twenty pieces. Very likely the boys will all want to attend band practice hereafter. Five farmers in the vicinity of As- bury. Brown county, will buy autos this summer, according to the Hia watha World. "A white face bull calf about two months old, which is good to chew harness or anything else around the place, is advertised for sale by the Atwood Citizen. In-the-good-old-days item by Tom Charles: We have read what Gomer Davles said about Tom Ballard being the best fiddler in Republic and Jewell counties in an early day. Tom Ballard was a fiddler in this country when they danced on the dirt floor, bare footed, if they didn't happen to have shoes and the old settlers know him well. Everybody knew him, for his position was of more importance than the minister's. Everybody danced, but everybody didn't attend church. The old settlers will be grieved to learn that Mr. Ballard Is very sick at his home in Stockton. Bert Walker: "Thank the Lord," said Old Bill Shiftless last Saturday, as he dropped into a chair in the grocery store, "that harvest is over; I'm all in." Harvest is unusually hard on Old Bill. Bill always engages to work for some neighbor. He shows up the first day all right, but along in tho afternoon when the sun begins to bear down a little. Bill finds that his rheumatism comes back to his arms and he has to quit. He goes home and grunts around to hang out a bluff. This year hands were very scarce and Bill had to take additional measures to protect himself from work, as the rheumatism gag was getting- thread bare. So he got a bad bilious attack and actually stayed In bed every morning till 10 o'clock, and then he would get up and crawl out and lie on the front porch. In order to make good Bill found It necessary to stay away from a couple of ball games in town, and this is where his real suf fering came in. As soon as the wheat was all cut in Bill's neighborhood he got as well as ever In one night. Bill has no harvest this year, as he is llv- ng with his wife s folks. Mrs. Shift less, who Is a good cook, helped out by getting the meals for the harvest hands and doing most of the other housework. Mrs. Shiftless does this every harvest. GLOBE SIGHTS. OH well drillers at Glasco contract ed to go down 3,000 feet. When about half way down good prospects of oil were discovered, and the contractor From the Atchison Globe. A man often says, "Well, I'll at tend to that," and doesn't It may "look" as though luck Is against you, but it isn't. Men don't care much for style, so long as they can get enough to wear. Every dead beat frequently says, "I never beat a man out of a cent in my life." A girl can not ask for a greater compliment than to have her mother brag on her unless it is to have her father brag on her. When you eat dinner in the coun try, you can be expected to be Invit ed to ask a blessing. And very few town men can do it. Every man sees at least one advan tage in not being able to afford luxu ries: His wife can't put up any lace curtains to keep the air out. If titles were scattered around so freely that housekeepers could get them, every mother would be known as the Trouble Man at her house. If you see all the family gathered out in the yard looking admiringly up into a tree you will know that there is an apple there, and they have gathered to worship it. The Jacob twins heard this morn ing that Barnum's circus is coming to Atchison, and kicked and screamed because it isn't coming today, instead of the 17th of September. When some women get to heaven, the first thing they will do will be to spit on their robes to see if they are all linen, and then the other women angels will know that another bar gain hunter has arrived. ' - A girl would Just as" soon believe she could ever be fat and dumpy, like Ma, as to believe that the Sweet Young Thing in patent leathers who calls on her would ever be like Pa and enjoy sitting around without his shoes on. We were lately talking over the tele phone with a man two hundred miles away, and during the conversation, the man quoted the old saying. "There Is nothing new under the sun." How about talking by telephone with a man two hundred miles away? Hon. Lysander John ' Appleton, of Atchison, announces that under no circumstances will he be a candidate for governor. Jack Appleton is not the only Kansas man declining to run for governor who has never been ask ed to run. , THE OLD BOYS. Bully old boys. We love them. They are me salt of the earth, the salva tion of the country, the real, substan tial collective patriots who have bul warked the American republic for fifty years. We were in Emporia the other morning. On the shady side of tne street, near Newman's, we found the quiet squad. They were telling war stories. Jollying each other while waiting. Waiting for pension day, listening for "the dip of the golden oar" of Charon's boat that will cross them to the other side. Blessed old boys. And as we sat with them on the curb, along came "Wash" Thornton, an army comrade, with whom we served three years. While in Topeka we met up with another quiet squad of the old boys who are watching, waiting, and we could not forego the pleasure of sitting beside them and talking awhile. And it is the same in every town. Bully old boys, who carried the flag to victory the flag that has never been low ered in the face of the enemy. And the tragedy of all of it. The govern ment and there would be no govern ment but for the patriotism of these old boys tells us brutally tells us that death must come to one or us every twelve minutes. The brutality of all of it. But the drumbeats on the other side muster the greater army, and why not Join it and them? Bully old boys but after all we somehow hate to go and leave the weaK ana shattered units of the grand army. The trumpeting of Taps? No, we are not Just ready. El Dorado Republican. THE RECALLIN KANSAS. We hear much about the recall sys tem a plan by which a councilman or other city official may be recalled by a vote of lack of confidence at any time, without waiting for a regular election. No such law operates in Kansas, and yet the entire city council of Stafford resigned on demand of a majority of the voters, because they would not act favorably on a petition for the accept ance of a free public library. If the sal ary attached to the Job of councilman had been $1,000 a year Instead of $1 how ever, the response to the "recall" might not have been so prompt. Hutchinson News. THE ONLY ONE. The insurance trust has had the people of Kansas by the throat for a a good many years, but it now looks as though Attorney General Jackson Is about to break its strangle hold and put the trust to the bad. By the way, we wish to repeat that Mr. Jackson is the first attorney general Kansas has had for many years. Concordia Blade. THE CLOUD AN D THE SUNSHINE. D? Sunshine tell de Rainy Cioud: XOU IlOVPr treat mA H.ht WLy don't you take en storm de stars r.u oiow em ru'm de night? My task is took ter shine all day; W y don t you rain en go yo" way?" De Rainy Cloud go sailln' by He projlck roun'about. Den roll de kiver f'um de sky En let de sunshine out! En den he tell de hill en plain: Des holler wVn vnil Tioprtin' fain!' F. L. Stanton in the Atlanta Constitu tion. TNE EVENING STORY Troubles of Insomnia. "Insomnia is a strange disease,1 said The Intruders. , (By Troy Allison.) The Janitor's wife allowed herself to hesitate and was lost. "There's an apartment you might use for a while, miss Marjorie. it wouldn't cost onv- thing, and your little mit rt would last longer." Marjorie Kershaw's young face origmenea. "Martha, you aiwavs were a .4..1(.. ... I , . . ' ojiciiauai, auu "uso I "ear, just like you used to he when 80mee..riLm!.dlE!ja,t y and ted on the farm next o inti c a. wwxui vc v loc i iu our Diace 'I tttemselves. Martha Jnrn i n.uu w tx wicncu iuisiiuuauc never rnnnchr t- h,, w anH"Iy SllelJZV: ? W coming" "to 'work for ... . . , ,uur uving in the city. Miss Marjorie, the move now In a steamer, now in she s;.ih rtntis, ' J ' a. uttui. iriuuuu, aim only inuuon, win I Xhe Hrl'e fana T , . . j quiet his quivering and tormented father! H SL0"" rves when bedtime comes. as-e thinoc t T. " fV, "Some insomniacs find that excessive ItZLJ?1,". " l! ?a obliged toteal .from their r Mrnrdnora1 latch key from ?,Xr ; ' vaiuauie nours m behind the clock. "Dearie, you might v t wutc; 1 harm i ,n i, inAv "Some insomniacs can not sleep ei- kmn 'rtT " t-I-JT V1. L"? uaynrne. inaiisii great know tho difference." narasnip. rot- it cuts tnem on irom the "But would it be right?" the girl YTv t u a fay hesitated, "and suppose he should find "They are all flocking now to the "Not rrm-h chance." Martha said airily. "Dr. Ingram has gone to Den ver to get back his nerve. He left this key so I could water his plants. The doctor's crasy over plants, and his front room looks like a flower gar den. The girl reveled In the luxury of the apartment. Accustomed to the plain- OUR CHAUTAUQUA. By way of emphasizing the tern perance nature of the Topeka Chau tauqua, a man named Waters made the opening address and the Kaw river rose four feet. Lawrence World. USUALLY THE WAY. The county attorney of Cloud county has brought suit against the bondsmen of cx-County Treasurer Wade to collect a ten thousand dollar shortage. These bondsmen apparently figure that they were only on the bond to protect the county against ioss if there wasn t any. Mankato Advocate. . KNOWS MORE THAN JOHN D. We feel thankful, for one thing we know more about our own business than John D. Rockefeller, if he Is the richest, Stafford Republican. FROM OTHER PENS HARRIMAN'S GOOD ROADS. Harrlman's methods are not ad mirable, and the sentiment of the public is very strongly against having all the transportation interests on land and sea controlled by one man. But we may as well be just. He did not steal these roads from the previous owners, whatever he may have done to other people, and he has increased the services rendered by the transpor tatlon lines to the public. In stating the results of its inquiries into the practice of Harrimanizing railroads the Interstate commerce commission says that every railroad Harriman has ccptured is today a better road phys ically than it was before he took it, A man can't make money out of rail roads by hocus pocus alone. Phila delphia Record. EASY WHEN YOU KNOW HOW. "Save; work hard; practice self- denial." is the rule laid down by John D. Rockefeller for becoming rich. As this is what a great many poor people are already doing without the accu mulation or egregious wealth it is possible that Mr. Rockefeller has omit ted some such small but Indispensable factor as making arrangements with the common carriers for exclusive privileges in the matter of rates. Pittsburg Dispatch. CHEAPENS ONE'S EXISTENCE. The success of Mrs. Bowie and her son Harry in pleading the "unwritten law, and the boldness with which the Insanity dodge was tabooed by Mrs. Bowie's counsel, will embolden the pistol toter" and the llfetaker. Such defenses and such verdicts tend to cheapen human existence. Knoxville Sentinel. NO LONGER NECESSARY. With the two-cent railroad rate en forced by the various commonwealths the passenger can begin to see where he gets ofT. It is at the nearest sta tion the other side of the state line, where he makes a quick purchase of another ticket. Chicago Daily News. LIPTON ADVERTISING. Sir Thomas Lipton has made an other appropriation for advertising himself and his celebrated brand of tea. Ho has announced that he will propose another yacht race in the near tuture. council Bluffs Nonpareil. PROSPERITY. There is to be a corn crop that will protect the farmers from mortgages next year. Birmingham Ledger. LET SWORDS RUST! If the Japanese officers are to draw the sword only in a defensive war against the United States, it will eat itself out with rust In the scabbard. Philadelphia Record. THE EIGHTH WONDER. Secretary Taft says there is no graft in Panama. If this is the case the western hemisphere may be said to have furnished the eighth wonder of the world. Chicago Record-Herald. WHEN THE FINISH COMES. After the tobacco trust is busted It will be quite appropriate to equip every cigar store Indian with a big stick Instead of a tomahawk. Wash ington Post. seashore, for the sea air and sea bath Ing will give to the most hopeless insomniac a good night s rest. The Wrong Criterion. Ripley Hitchcock, the brilliant critic. said of criticism at the Century club in New York: "Much of our criticism seems crude because It takes the wrong nes nr rihii.. nnin, hnus point of view. It asks itself whether or the Turkish rugs and the artistic fur i L, ,i De popular, nishings seemed the height of magnin " BUUU,U useir wnetner tne cence. She succeeded in securing work is good. position to teach Drimary music in a These crude critics, with their wrone crlvate school ater much worry and criterion, remind me of an old man is many letters written by the rector of a ew .Hampshire tavern. Two tourists her home church. She was to board entered the tavern one afternoon and I and room at the school, when the term asked for a bottle of whisky to take commenced and she thought regret with them on a fishing excursion in the fully of giving up her present artistic sunapee waters. The whisky was very I quarters. cheap. The tourists, before accepting Mrs. Jordan received one afternoon it. debated whether such a low-nrlced a letter tellina- her when to have the brand could be good. As they argued I rooms ready and Marjorie Kershaw the Question, an old man rose from a sprinkled the doctor's plants that bench in the sun and reeled toward I night. them. She 'determined to make some pay- Not good whisky gents V he said ment for her free lodging so sne took Impatiently. 'You're hie mistaken, from the top or tne DOOKcase tne oia Look at me for 20 cents.' " I sver tray wlln "s tea .service sne would pousn Llie uuuivi a auvei nuu Compliment From Japan. ieav his apartments m gooa conai- rrv. v i Ae.v.AmaM v, i tlon. bne proDaoiy spent loo muca pllmented again, for the fishing boats energy on the first piece for, yawning or the Atlantic seaDoara are to De ....o"-. . copied by the Japanese. At the present on the pillows of the couch, the silver time the Japanese Ashing boat is a spread around on the floor, and fell frail affair and has hard work In stand- fast asleep. . . . . In? nr tn stiff breeze. ReDorts have I' old Mrs. Van Lear had not chosen been made on the yachting lines and to get sick and to have refused to al av.ci fnr tHo cs imipoc tor tvn nt boat- low any one except her pet physician and Japanese Ashing craft are to be to look after her, John Ingram would built after that model. The American have conformed to Mrs. Jordan s stvle is expected to be adopted grad- opinion, and never have known any- oii v.v fh.o. .Tnnnnese fishermen sren- thing about It. As It was, he let nim erally, which will mark the passing of self into his apartments that night the light Junk, equally aaaptea to bcui- aouui. a. . IieumilUK 1U1 mo cicuuiu iifiiis stumbled over his silver teapot, and the girl on the couch sat up suddenly, her sleepy eyes blinking from the light. Sho gave one gasp, then straightened herself on the couch, her feet braced firmly on the floor. "I'm not afraid of you, 3he said breathlessly, eyeing tne teapot in his hand, and wondering ling or sailing, and the substitution of the dorv for tne sampan. rew iom Tribune. The Marriage Pocket. "Married, sir?" the tailor asked. "Just married." the young man an swernd, with a blush. Then," said the other, "we will in sert a secret pocket here in the lining what he had already put in the small of the coat. "Wh what for?" the bridegroom stammered In amazement. Before such ignorance the tailor could scarce repress a smile. "To hide your change, you know," he said, "before you go to pea. "Sapey.' erip beside him. He stood still, his astonishment, aid ed by the silver teapot, giving him the appearance of detected guilt. . Aren t you asnamea or your self?" Bhe asked sternly. I don't seem able to analyze my feelings," the doctor said, doubtfully. To think of a man breaking into a Ttoir,- rvn Ativ at Llvernool street house and stealing teapots," she station, London, I asked a booking said accusingly. lerk whether he could tell me where "I only seem to have one, Sapsworth was. His answer was that arded excusingly. he had never heard of such a place. "It's Just as bad as "t ' T nra-ed. "Is not that the way stealing, her young the country people pronounce Saw- righteous Indignation. hrld?wnrth'" xno doctor gripped mo irapui auu "No. indeed." he laughingly replied, stared wonderingly at her tumbled "they call It Sapsy." London Spec- JKJ. he haz- a dozen It's voice full of tator. QUAKER REFLECTIONS. seem quite as bad to srteal Just one you seem a little hard on a man. One s enough to get you into trou ble," Judiciously. "Have you ever been In Jail?" she asked with frank rcvAm V, n TMlHdelrhia. Record.! . .... i i.. I curiosity. Many a .spotless rBPui,.uu "No, thank heaven," he responded whitewashed. fervently, "you you wouldn't send If you want to find a man out get t 1f, woui,i Vou?" the doctor a Job as bill collector. was beginning to enjoy his histrionic The professional humorist's idea of talent, and put eloquent pleading in a practical Joke is one he can sell. his eyes. Lots of fellows would marry a bank "1 don't just Know wnat to ao wun ,nnt nr mutter what its owner you." renectiveiy. iou sec, x iievcr looked like. The redder you paint things the night before the bluer you feel next morning, Tho suburbanite shouldn't seriously consider raising his own vegetables unless he feels he can afford It. Manv a fellow who has told a girl Her face turned red as she remem she was good enough to eat has been J bered the money she had saved by us- caught a burglar before, and don't know what to do." "Would you mind my sitting down while you think it over? Of course I don't expect you to have much sym oathv for me you have never had any temptation to take things that didn't belong to you obliged to swallow his own words. A man is satisfied to give a woman the last word, but the trouble is she wants it first, last and all the time, Nell "They say he had a shady reputation." Belie "Yes, his wife constantly has a detective shadowing him. Ing some one s apartment without permission. But tonlgnr. i was urea ana nun- gry I mlgnt give you sometning to eat." she said hesitatingly, "but I'm afraid to take my finger off this bell." Let me fix something to eat," he an s-iresteri with alacrity. "VOU Sit Still No. Maude, dear, we have never wntf,h me. and ring the bell if I heard that naval officers never pay beKjn to do anything suspicious." He more than 25 cents for playing cards. went to a cabinet and found some tea. Your ideas of the quarter deck are then started the alcohol lamp. "There rather confused. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. Get a move on you, then keep going. The larger the bluff the smaller It looks when called. Some people's troubles are enough to make others laugh. It is wonderful what a lot of kissing a little mouth can do. are. some olives and sardines and a box of crackers in the chafingdlsh cabinet," he said while he put the kettle to boil. You must have ransacked the whole apartment before I awoke," she said Indignantly. Well er I do seem to remem ber where to find things that's my profession, you know.- "Have you put any of the doctor's things in that grip?" she pointed to the satchel he had left on the floor. The doctor scorned to tell a lie, even when he was cornered. "Only a few - Some people derive a lot of satisfac tion from their Qissatisiactions. wvion it fnmea tn underestimating I of his collars and cuffs," extenuatlngly, him-eif q mnn seldom overdoes it. I "you see. I rather needed some clean TVio huhhlln hroolc. like a habhllnfi- things. "I should think you did." her glance took In the coal dust sprinkled over his man, Is unable to keep its mouth shut. In accounting for others the book- I tar.t, tho tweert run Ret raklshlv nn his keeper does a little work on his own nea(j and the loose Norfolk Jacket he account. I had worn to travel in. "Even If you It requires a lot of strenuous will I are poor, you might keep your face rrwer fnr a Hrl nf 2S to act as If she 1 clean I wouldn t have blamed you "Oh I didn't take teapots I took everything," miserably. He forked a sardine out of the boi and settled himself comfortably. "Sup pose you tell me about it maybe w could help each other out of a hole," his voice was full of klndnesa "I took the whole flat," she said for lornly, and told him how she had yield ed to the temptation to save her little bit of money. "Little woman, don't you mind. I don't believe that chump of a doctor would mind a bit if he knew. If he did he wouldn't be much of a man in my opinion. You needn't even think of It and you can stay here a week longer and be safely cleared out before he gets back to the flat," he finished lamely. "Do you. think I might?" she asked eagerly. "I know you may," with a convincing air, "and you haven't done anything wrong, you've even done the man a good turn haven't you kept me from stealing his silver? And you have talk ed to me like I was a human being. I promise you I'll never attempt to steal another teapot as long as I live." "If you would stop stealing and fix yourself respectably you would look really nice and could get a Job," she encouraged. "You don't look like a common burglar." He took the satchel from the floor trying to hide the fact that he was choking over the idea of not looking hopelessly, degraded. "Whenever I get respectable I shall want to thank you for what you have done for me will you tell me your name?" he asked as he stood in the doorway. "Marjorie Kershaw and I will be glad to help you get a Job," interested in his reformation. The doctor thought of the usual "Jobs" he met with and smiled. "Good night. Miss I hope I'll be a changed man when you see me again." He went out, leaving her staring blankly at the door. Firm in her resolve to give the man a cnance to reform, witnoui starting handicapped, Marjorie did not tell even Martha of her adventure. When, therefore, Mrs. Sedley, the principal of the preparatory school In which Mar jorie taught that fall, called in Dr. Ingram to treat Miss Kershaw's sprained ankle, she had no Idea that she was furnishing the sequel to the affair. 'Miss Kersaw, I think Dr. Ingram can soon have that foot feeling more comfortable," she said, as the doctor followed her into the room. Dr. Ingram's eyes twinkled with sudden recognition. "Ah I think Miss Kershaw and I have met berore it was at let me see a luncheon. was it not, Miss Kershaw?" The riot o" color in ner lace ucKiea his fancy immensely. "I rather think it was at a masquerade," she retorted, her eyes flashing. You were kind enough to promise me a Job I see you are a woman of your word," he wrapped the bandage skillfully, taking longer than was cus tomary. "I have made a bad Job of this," slyly tearing the linen into a shorter length than he wanted; "could you find a bandage somewhat longer than this, Mrs. Sedley?" he asked In an absolutely professional manner. When she left the room, tne gin looked at him reproachfully. "And they were your rooms," she said shamefacedly. I wouldn't have missed so charm ing an experience for worlds," he said emphatically. "Mrs. Jordan positive ly refused to commit herself on the subject I have pumped her world without end. She's absolutely non committal. Even when I told her that I found some hairpins on the bath room shelf, she said she thought she had missed some." The girl gave an Irrepressible giggle. "Please brine them when you come next time," she said, then suddenly grew serious. "Will I be able to skate this winter?" anxiously. He looked at her with a solemnity befitting the last stage of a hopeless case. It will neea a great oau m at tention, but I think Just think, mind you that you mignc snaie xne htul time tne ice is tnicK enougii n u had a physician at hand to watch you and keep you from overexertion." Her face flushed ana sne nera, with relief, Mrs. seaieys returning footsteps. Promise that you u go tne very first freeze," he said eagerly; -promise or I vow I'll put on something that will blister and will put pins in the bandage lots of 'em." She hesitated, ner eyes sny Deroro the Impulsive admiration in his gaze. I promise, sne saia soitiy, as iyirs. Sedley entered the room. The verv thing. Mrs. aeaiey. ne exclaimed, taking the roll of linen. w-3 will have her as comiortao e as can be. And, Mrs. seaiey, i wis.i you would see to It tnat sne ooes nut al low that ankle to grow stiff when she recovers the use of it. There will soon be fine skating I should recom mend it as the exercise most suited to tho ligaments involved." "I told you I might be turned Into a nice respectable man," he whisper ed "I like my new Job immensely!" (Copyrighted, 1907, by Homer Sprague.) NVMOR OF THE DAY didn't care to get married. Tell a vomefi about a year marriage that she might have better and she will not deny it. after done REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From the New York Press. J Family arguments are always run under forced draught. A man's Income Is a very useful thing to those who spend It for him. A girl believes in love at first sight until she marries on tnat system. Red hair is a good thing not to be married to for the sake of the children. A woman can always quote the Bible to prove something she says in an argument and a man never knows I on the doctor's face then. it Isn't there. much if you had taken a cake of the doctor's soap he uses awfully nice soap." remlnlscently. Would you er take a cup or tea or are you above eating with a burg lar?" . . Her vounsr eves were hungry it had been hours since Mrs. Jordan's early dinner she hesitated then held out her hand. I'll take the tea." she said finally. "and I'm going to tell you why I'm not going to turn you over to the police." The doctor allowed Just the proper amount of surprised Joy to beam in his face. "You are going to let me go?" he gasped. She nodded her. head affirmatively. Yee because I'm a thief, too," she said almost in a whisper. It was a real emotion that appeared What the dev , what do you mean?" he gasped. "What did your wife say when you ar rived home last night" "She didn't say anythtlng; simply pelted me with flowers' "lngulafdld 'you say? Oh. the pota came with them, you know. "-San Fran cisco Chronicle. 8neDearest. have you no rural rela tlonswe could visit during the heated teHeYes. darling, but their terms are so summary.-Chlcago Record-Herald. "Ain't he cute? Everybody says he Is WrS knkiraHou.to Post. "Would you please give a poor man a dl'"ly dear sir," replied the philanthro pist, "you have not grasped the first prin ciple of charity. A dime would be of small avail, but with $10 you could do something. Still I am favorable to your nlea You hustle $9.90 and the desired .1 ; . Is -voiirs. "But supposing that meanwhile I starve "In that case," responded the philan thropist, "you would not need even the W cents." Philadelphia Ledger. "Jenkins came home with me the other morning, and he heard part of my wife's remarks on the hour." "rid she confine them to your' "Confine them? Not much. She re leased them." Chicago Journal. "The closing number of the evening, said the famous pianist, "Is by Chopin. "Ah!" said the punster in the audience "I see. Last but not Liszt." Somerville Journal. Texas Pony What are you doing out here on the ranch? Giraffe They're using me to give a ten derfoot his first lesson In lassoing. De troit Free Press. Knlcker Has he an inherited streak for saving money? ... . Bocker-Yes. Indeed; his rather was m police captain aand his mother was chorus girl. New York Bun. J 1