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The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, July 23, 1907, LAST EDITION, Image 4

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rEntered July 1. 1875. as second-class
matter at the pcstofflc at Topeka. Kan,
u"f the act of congress.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
Dally edition, delivered by carrier. W
'week to any part of Toieka. or
"""'. or at too nme price in any K.n
"s town, where the paper has a carrier
f ystem.
gy mall, one year 3 w
sft,'1- three month;:::::::.::: -g
Saturday edition of dally, one year.... 1.00
Business office Bell Vt
Business office Ind. IT
Reporters' Room Bell S77
"Porters Room Ind. 68
T" P. MnrLennan Ind. TCO
Torveka State Journal building. 900 and
W KSn, a Ten ne. comer of Klghth.
New York officer Flatlron building, al
Twentv-thlrd street, comer Fifth avenue
Broadway. Paul Bloch. manatrer.
Chicago office: Hartford building. Paul
"'ock. mwnarer. -
they would be Interested In a natural
the gas at SO cents a thousand feet if
the gas at 30 centsa thousand feet If
a definite number of citizens will con
tract to use It for five years at that
rate. The inference is that the com
pany will pipe It. but as some of the
towns are widely separated, this seems
hardly possible. Perhaps this Is the
concern that Is planning: to "can" the
g-as, compressed, in tanks, and ship it
by freight. No matter in what shape
it comes, gas at 30 cents a thousand
feet is much cheaper than coal in cen
tral and northern Kansas, to say noth
ing of its convenience. Signing? a five
year contract, however, would bind
each individual so signing: so that he
could not take advantage of any com
petition that might arise.
The Slate -1.-u.-nal is a member of the
Associated Press and receive the full day
telerrapt; report of that great news or
ganisation for the exclusive afterncon
pnniicntlon In Topeka.
The news Is received n The Btate Jottt
k1 building over wires for this sole pur-roee.
Subscribers of the Statn Jonrnal
way dnrlng the smnmcr may have
the paper mailed regularly caeii day
tj any address at the rate of ten cents
a week or thirty cent n monib v
mail only). Address changed. s often
ns desired. WhJIo out of town tho
State Journal will be to you like a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is reqnesteel on
these short time subscriptions, to ftave
bookkeeplngr expr-e.
If you use coal, this would be a good
time to lay In your next winter's sup
Ply. Mars Is evidently a warm number
If he is causing the present heated
With, revolts in Formosa and Ko
rea on its hands. Japan is beginning
to realize some of the evils of "ex-panslon.
In the suspension of the Topeka
Daily Herald there is much of the
The paper has been published for six
years under the management of Dell
Keizer. who has expended much energy.
I ability and capital to make a readable
I newspaper, but although with times
generally prosperous, he found the field
sufficiently covered to prevent him from
reaching profitable returns. Mr. Keizer
and his family have a wide circle of
friends and will bear their best wishes
in their promising new field of en
Associated with Mr. Keizer, until his
recent demise, was General Hudson
a vigorous, able editor, a soldier and
citizen of wide reputation, an Intense
and loyal Kansan.
The two were prominently identified
with Topeka newspapers for twenty
years and more.
The Herald, it has been understood,
has never been self-sustaining and the
wonder has really been that its life
was prolonged for years without profit.
Its end, therefore, came not as a great
told that he had been offered a con
siderable sum by Standard Oil repre
sentatives to quit the Job. Later his
drill-broke and he forfeited his con
tract and left, the drill remaining
In. the well. While the Glasco people
did not strike oil, they believe they
struck a Standard Oil scheme.
It Is estimated from threshing returns
so far In that the total wheat yield In
Kansas this year will be not far from 70
million bushels, or considerably more
than was supposed possible six weeks
ago. Of course this is guess work, and
the final figures may be either some
what above or below the 70 million
But the cheering thing about this
wheat crop la the financial end of it.
t... , -r, .,, .The average price of wheat In Kansas
If Attorney General Bonaparte will I , . . . .. i
the tobacco trust will very likely be a "P of 73 Uh buBhela wiU "f1"
.rind tn r,,rni,h th material. 1 more money into the farmers' pockets
liltl.Il &Ujr CtCt SlvWU 1U 1113 DIAIO.
Not only that, but the expense of gath
ering this crop has not been as great In
the aggregate as It was last year. And
again, tho farmers plowed up over a mil
lion acres last spring and put It Into
corn. So they will get as much money
as ever before for their wheat, and they
will have a million acres of wheat land
for other crops besides.
It Is to be hoped that another Hill
mon case will not develop from the
contest over paying the Insurance
carried by the late L. H. Perkins.
"California," says the Los Angeles
Express, "has turned out the champion
grafter." And here we have been sup
posing, California, that you locked him
Kansas City, Wichita and Dodge
City claim to have been the hottest
places In the central west last week.
Is Concordia losing its old claim to
this distinction?
Although Japan may have forced
the emperor of Korea to ab
dicate. President Roosevelt has
not yet been called on to do so, al
though Captain Hobson may inform
us of such a demand at any moment.
Governor Carter, of Hawaii, where
a large portion of the population are
Japanese, says the Japanese are a. de
sirable class of people. This country Is
making a mistake in shutting them
out at the behest of a few agitators in
Ban Francisco.
On the Missouri Pacific between
Kansas City and the state line, com
ing into Kansas, the Missouri railroad
commission has ordered that trains
shall not run faster than twelve miles
an hour until the track is fixed. How,
pray, did the Missouri board Inspect
that track?
Here is more oppression on the
part of Capital: In the Marion base
ball league the Bankers' standing is
1.000. the Politicians and Colts are
each at the .500 mark, while the Me
chanics aro .000. Thus does Capital
press the crown of thorns upon the
brow of Labor.
Senator La Follette declares that
the "country is run by Chauncey
Depew and seventy-five other men, all
bad." Whereupon the Omaha Bee re
marks: "This will be surprising news
to Depew. who has not I en able for
several years to get even a fourth class
postmaster appointed." ,
A war with Japan would furnish
Kansas an opportunity to develop an
Other crop of heroes. It has been
lght years since the last crop was
harvested and much of that crop
was allowed to go to waste. In case
of a Japanese war, heroes would
spring to the front from every town
hip in Kansas.
V p In Decatur county the county
commissioners are protesting against
the habit Borne trainmen have of
pushing tramps off of moving trains.
They say it is not only tough on the
tramps, but it also makes the coun
ty pay the doctor bills. Then here is
another objection: It incapacitates
the tramp so he can not work, while
If he were dropped off easily some
needy farmer would grab him and set
him to pitching alfalfa.
"Did Senator La Follette," asks
the Parsons Sun, "realize when he
I was denouncing the trusts and com
bines at the Chautauqua last Monday
night that he was a beneficiary of
one of them? Each of the chautau
quas at which he spoke in Kansas and
Missouri Is a part of a big Chautauqua
trust or combine which is controlled
by one man." Well, doesn't La Fol
lette maintain that all the necessaries
of life are controlled by trusts?
v A largo number of Kansas towns
have recently received communications
from a - Kansas City firm, asking If
Indiana, according to a writer in Ap-
pleton's Magazine, has solved the pro
blem of local transportation rates, not
by legislation so much as by building
lnterurban trolley lines that compete
with the steam roads, especially In pas
senger and light freight transportation.
In seven years a tremendous reduction
in rates has been brought about.
Not only have the trolleys reduced
passenger rates to less than two cents
a mile, but the service is much better
than it was a few years ago. The wri
ter in Appleton's gives a table showing
the number of trains and the rates be
tween Indianapolis and 14 other Indi
ana towns in 1899 and in 1906. Eight
years ago the fare from Indianapolis
to Anderson, 39 miles, was $L10, and
there were six steam trains a day. Now
there are nine steam trains and 20 trol
leys, and the trolley fare is only 60
From Indianapolis to Wabash is 90
miles and the fare was formerly $2.70.
There were three trains a day. Now the
rate Is reduced to $1.40, and there are
14 trolley trains in addition to the
three steam trains.
The fare from Indianapolis to Rich
mond, 68 miles, was formerly $2.05
Now it is only $1.05. Formerly there
were six train&. Now there are 14 trol
leys and seven steam trains.
One thousand miles of track are now
In operation in Indiana, 350 miles are
building and will be placed in opera
tion early this year; another 2,000 :niK?s
are projected. Each one of the roads
operating at present parallels a steam
railroad. Operating these existing Hues
are 13 principal corporations, each of
which has one or more subridiaris. To
tal capitalization Is $41,150,000 in stock
and $43,080,500 in bonds, or slightly more
than $80,000 per mile of constructed
road. This figure closely approximates
the capitalization of the steam railroads
of the country, and represents a "wa
tered" value of about $30,000,000, in
jected In the absorption and amalga
mation processes that have been re
sorted to. Upon this enormous capital
the growth of seven years the com
panies are not only paying liberal div
idend and interest charges, but are
paying heavily for franchise privileges,
notably in Indianapolis, where the city
system takes as a terminal and track
age fee three cents out of every five
cent fare collected in the city limits.
In its financial phases, therefore,"
pays the writer in Appleton's, "the so
lution of this transportation problem
has resulted in a manner eminently
satisfactory to those who engaged in
the task. The public, which provides
the revenue enjoyed b" the corpora
tions, is not wholly pleased; its de
mands are not entirely satisfied. But
the condition of that public is so vastly
improved, over what It was under the
steam railroad monopolies, that it is
contented, confident that as long as it
provides the revenue the traction cor
porations will, as rapidly as possible.
Increase and extend their facilities."
It will have to be admitted that In
its prosecution of the tobacco trust
the government is biting off a good-
sized chew.
Why, we rise to inquire, has not some
body said something about Mr. Ham be
ing sandwiched in the congressional race
between Reeder and Young.
"One half the world." according: to an
old saying, "doesn't know how the other
half lives." If the world Is at all cur
ious about it he should have his wife
Join an afternoon whist club.
Is It possible that this temperature is
caused by the hot air that is being turn
ed loose on the Chautauqua circuit?
There is a suspicion that some of
thes nature liars are really Just
natural liars.
In a Kansas town It was recently re
ported that a local baseball player had
been killed while playing In a distant
town. The local paper reassured tha
public, however, by stating that there
was "little, if any, truth in the report."
It is always best to be on the safe side in
making a statement In a newspaper.
Downs proposes to quit the kerosene
circuit. It will have electric lights.
A Horton woman has over $1,200
which she made raising chickens as a
side issue on a farm.
J. H. Ream shows the Yates Center
News some blackberries "as large as
walnuts." That's some big.
A Rossville man says his corn has
been growing three inches a day on an
average. It is now above ten feet in
Horton has a new girl band of
twenty pieces. Very likely the boys
will all want to attend band practice
Five farmers in the vicinity of As-
bury. Brown county, will buy autos
this summer, according to the Hia
watha World.
"A white face bull calf about two
months old, which is good to chew
harness or anything else around the
place, is advertised for sale by the
Atwood Citizen.
In-the-good-old-days item by Tom
Charles: We have read what Gomer
Davles said about Tom Ballard being
the best fiddler in Republic and Jewell
counties in an early day. Tom Ballard
was a fiddler in this country when
they danced on the dirt floor, bare
footed, if they didn't happen to have
shoes and the old settlers know him
well. Everybody knew him, for his
position was of more importance than
the minister's. Everybody danced, but
everybody didn't attend church. The
old settlers will be grieved to learn
that Mr. Ballard Is very sick at his
home in Stockton.
Bert Walker: "Thank the Lord,"
said Old Bill Shiftless last Saturday,
as he dropped into a chair in the
grocery store, "that harvest is over;
I'm all in." Harvest is unusually
hard on Old Bill. Bill always engages
to work for some neighbor. He shows
up the first day all right, but along in
tho afternoon when the sun begins to
bear down a little. Bill finds that his
rheumatism comes back to his arms
and he has to quit. He goes home and
grunts around to hang out a bluff.
This year hands were very scarce and
Bill had to take additional measures
to protect himself from work, as the
rheumatism gag was getting- thread
bare. So he got a bad bilious attack
and actually stayed In bed every
morning till 10 o'clock, and then he
would get up and crawl out and lie
on the front porch. In order to make
good Bill found It necessary to stay
away from a couple of ball games in
town, and this is where his real suf
fering came in. As soon as the wheat
was all cut in Bill's neighborhood he
got as well as ever In one night. Bill
has no harvest this year, as he is llv-
ng with his wife s folks. Mrs. Shift
less, who Is a good cook, helped out
by getting the meals for the harvest
hands and doing most of the other
housework. Mrs. Shiftless does this
every harvest.
OH well drillers at Glasco contract
ed to go down 3,000 feet. When about
half way down good prospects of oil
were discovered, and the contractor
From the Atchison Globe.
A man often says, "Well, I'll at
tend to that," and doesn't
It may "look" as though luck Is
against you, but it isn't.
Men don't care much for style, so
long as they can get enough to wear.
Every dead beat frequently says,
"I never beat a man out of a cent in
my life."
A girl can not ask for a greater
compliment than to have her mother
brag on her unless it is to have her
father brag on her.
When you eat dinner in the coun
try, you can be expected to be Invit
ed to ask a blessing. And very few
town men can do it.
Every man sees at least one advan
tage in not being able to afford luxu
ries: His wife can't put up any lace
curtains to keep the air out.
If titles were scattered around so
freely that housekeepers could get
them, every mother would be known
as the Trouble Man at her house.
If you see all the family gathered
out in the yard looking admiringly up
into a tree you will know that there
is an apple there, and they have
gathered to worship it.
The Jacob twins heard this morn
ing that Barnum's circus is coming
to Atchison, and kicked and screamed
because it isn't coming today, instead
of the 17th of September.
When some women get to heaven,
the first thing they will do will be to
spit on their robes to see if they are
all linen, and then the other women
angels will know that another bar
gain hunter has arrived. ' -
A girl would Just as" soon believe
she could ever be fat and dumpy, like
Ma, as to believe that the Sweet
Young Thing in patent leathers who
calls on her would ever be like Pa
and enjoy sitting around without his
shoes on.
We were lately talking over the tele
phone with a man two hundred miles
away, and during the conversation, the
man quoted the old saying. "There Is
nothing new under the sun." How about
talking by telephone with a man two
hundred miles away?
Hon. Lysander John ' Appleton, of
Atchison, announces that under no
circumstances will he be a candidate
for governor. Jack Appleton is not
the only Kansas man declining to run
for governor who has never been ask
ed to run. ,
Bully old boys. We love them. They
are me salt of the earth, the salva
tion of the country, the real, substan
tial collective patriots who have bul
warked the American republic for
fifty years. We were in Emporia the
other morning. On the shady side of
tne street, near Newman's, we found
the quiet squad. They were telling
war stories. Jollying each other
while waiting. Waiting for pension
day, listening for "the dip of the
golden oar" of Charon's boat that will
cross them to the other side. Blessed
old boys. And as we sat with them
on the curb, along came "Wash"
Thornton, an army comrade, with
whom we served three years. While
in Topeka we met up with another
quiet squad of the old boys who are
watching, waiting, and we could not
forego the pleasure of sitting beside
them and talking awhile. And it is
the same in every town. Bully old
boys, who carried the flag to victory
the flag that has never been low
ered in the face of the enemy. And
the tragedy of all of it. The govern
ment and there would be no govern
ment but for the patriotism of these
old boys tells us brutally tells us
that death must come to one or us
every twelve minutes. The brutality
of all of it. But the drumbeats on
the other side muster the greater
army, and why not Join it and
them? Bully old boys but after all
we somehow hate to go and leave the
weaK ana shattered units of the
grand army. The trumpeting of
Taps? No, we are not Just ready. El
Dorado Republican.
We hear much about the recall sys
tem a plan by which a councilman or
other city official may be recalled by a
vote of lack of confidence at any time,
without waiting for a regular election.
No such law operates in Kansas, and
yet the entire city council of Stafford
resigned on demand of a majority of the
voters, because they would not act
favorably on a petition for the accept
ance of a free public library. If the sal
ary attached to the Job of councilman
had been $1,000 a year Instead of $1 how
ever, the response to the "recall" might
not have been so prompt. Hutchinson
The insurance trust has had the
people of Kansas by the throat for a
a good many years, but it now looks
as though Attorney General Jackson
Is about to break its strangle hold and
put the trust to the bad. By the way,
we wish to repeat that Mr. Jackson
is the first attorney general Kansas
has had for many years. Concordia
D? Sunshine tell de Rainy Cioud:
XOU IlOVPr treat mA H.ht
WLy don't you take en storm de stars
r.u oiow em ru'm de night?
My task is took ter shine all day;
W y don t you rain en go yo" way?"
De Rainy Cloud go sailln' by
He projlck roun'about.
Den roll de kiver f'um de sky
En let de sunshine out!
En den he tell de hill en plain:
Des holler wVn vnil Tioprtin' fain!'
F. L. Stanton in the Atlanta Constitu
Troubles of Insomnia.
"Insomnia is a strange disease,1
The Intruders.
, (By Troy Allison.)
The Janitor's wife allowed herself to
hesitate and was lost. "There's an
apartment you might use for a while,
miss Marjorie. it wouldn't cost onv-
thing, and your little mit rt
would last longer."
Marjorie Kershaw's young face
origmenea. "Martha, you aiwavs were
a .4..1(.. ... I , . . '
ojiciiauai, auu "uso I "ear, just like you used to he when
80mee..riLm!.dlE!ja,t y and ted on the farm next
o inti c a. wwxui vc v loc i iu our Diace
tttemselves. Martha Jnrn i
n.uu w tx wicncu iuisiiuuauc never rnnnchr t- h,, w
anH"Iy SllelJZV: ? W coming" "to 'work for
... . . , ,uur uving in the city. Miss Marjorie,
the move now In a steamer, now in she s;.ih rtntis, ' J '
a. uttui. iriuuuu, aim only inuuon, win I Xhe Hrl'e fana T , . . j
quiet his quivering and tormented father! H SL0""
rves when bedtime comes. as-e thinoc t T. " fV,
"Some insomniacs find that excessive ItZLJ?1,". " l!
?a obliged toteal .from their r Mrnrdnora1 latch key from
?,Xr ; ' vaiuauie nours m behind the clock. "Dearie, you might
v t wutc; 1 harm i ,n i, inAv
"Some insomniacs can not sleep ei- kmn 'rtT " t-I-JT
V1. L"? uaynrne. inaiisii great know tho difference."
narasnip. rot- it cuts tnem on irom the "But would it be right?" the girl
YTv t u a fay hesitated, "and suppose he should find
"They are all flocking now to the "Not rrm-h
chance." Martha said
airily. "Dr. Ingram has gone to Den
ver to get back his nerve. He left this
key so I could water his plants. The
doctor's crasy over plants, and his
front room looks like a flower gar
The girl reveled In the luxury of the
apartment. Accustomed to the plain-
By way of emphasizing the tern
perance nature of the Topeka Chau
tauqua, a man named Waters made
the opening address and the Kaw
river rose four feet. Lawrence
The county attorney of Cloud county
has brought suit against the bondsmen
of cx-County Treasurer Wade to collect
a ten thousand dollar shortage. These
bondsmen apparently figure that they
were only on the bond to protect the
county against ioss if there wasn t any.
Mankato Advocate. .
We feel thankful, for one thing we
know more about our own business than
John D. Rockefeller, if he Is the richest,
Stafford Republican.
Harrlman's methods are not ad
mirable, and the sentiment of the
public is very strongly against having
all the transportation interests on land
and sea controlled by one man. But
we may as well be just. He did not
steal these roads from the previous
owners, whatever he may have done
to other people, and he has increased
the services rendered by the transpor
tatlon lines to the public. In stating
the results of its inquiries into the
practice of Harrimanizing railroads
the Interstate commerce commission
says that every railroad Harriman has
ccptured is today a better road phys
ically than it was before he took it,
A man can't make money out of rail
roads by hocus pocus alone. Phila
delphia Record.
"Save; work hard; practice self-
denial." is the rule laid down by John
D. Rockefeller for becoming rich. As
this is what a great many poor people
are already doing without the accu
mulation or egregious wealth it is
possible that Mr. Rockefeller has omit
ted some such small but Indispensable
factor as making arrangements with
the common carriers for exclusive
privileges in the matter of rates.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The success of Mrs. Bowie and her
son Harry in pleading the "unwritten
law, and the boldness with which the
Insanity dodge was tabooed by Mrs.
Bowie's counsel, will embolden the
pistol toter" and the llfetaker. Such
defenses and such verdicts tend to
cheapen human existence. Knoxville
With the two-cent railroad rate en
forced by the various commonwealths
the passenger can begin to see where
he gets ofT. It is at the nearest sta
tion the other side of the state line,
where he makes a quick purchase of
another ticket. Chicago Daily News.
Sir Thomas Lipton has made an
other appropriation for advertising
himself and his celebrated brand of
tea. Ho has announced that he will
propose another yacht race in the near
tuture. council Bluffs Nonpareil.
There is to be a corn crop that will
protect the farmers from mortgages
next year. Birmingham Ledger.
If the Japanese officers are to draw
the sword only in a defensive war
against the United States, it will eat
itself out with rust In the scabbard.
Philadelphia Record.
Secretary Taft says there is no graft
in Panama. If this is the case the
western hemisphere may be said to
have furnished the eighth wonder of
the world. Chicago Record-Herald.
After the tobacco trust is busted It
will be quite appropriate to equip
every cigar store Indian with a big
stick Instead of a tomahawk. Wash
ington Post.
seashore, for the sea air and sea bath
Ing will give to the most hopeless
insomniac a good night s rest.
The Wrong Criterion.
Ripley Hitchcock, the brilliant critic.
said of criticism at the Century club in
New York: "Much of our criticism
seems crude because It takes the wrong nes nr rihii.. nnin, hnus
point of view. It asks itself whether or the Turkish rugs and the artistic fur
i L, ,i De popular, nishings seemed the height of magnin
" BUUU,U useir wnetner tne cence. She succeeded in securing
work is good. position to teach Drimary music in a
These crude critics, with their wrone crlvate school ater much worry and
criterion, remind me of an old man is many letters written by the rector of
a ew .Hampshire tavern. Two tourists her home church. She was to board
entered the tavern one afternoon and I and room at the school, when the term
asked for a bottle of whisky to take commenced and she thought regret
with them on a fishing excursion in the fully of giving up her present artistic
sunapee waters. The whisky was very I quarters.
cheap. The tourists, before accepting Mrs. Jordan received one afternoon
it. debated whether such a low-nrlced a letter tellina- her when to have the
brand could be good. As they argued I rooms ready and Marjorie Kershaw
the Question, an old man rose from a sprinkled the doctor's plants that
bench in the sun and reeled toward I night.
them. She 'determined to make some pay-
Not good whisky gents V he said ment for her free lodging so sne took
Impatiently. 'You're hie mistaken, from the top or tne DOOKcase tne oia
Look at me for 20 cents.' " I sver tray wlln "s tea .service sne
would pousn Llie uuuivi a auvei nuu
Compliment From Japan. ieav his apartments m gooa conai-
rrv. v i Ae.v.AmaM v, i tlon. bne proDaoiy spent loo muca
pllmented again, for the fishing boats energy on the first piece for, yawning
or the Atlantic seaDoara are to De ....o"-. .
copied by the Japanese. At the present on the pillows of the couch, the silver
time the Japanese Ashing boat is a spread around on the floor, and fell
frail affair and has hard work In stand- fast asleep. . . . .
In? nr tn stiff breeze. ReDorts have I' old Mrs. Van Lear had not chosen
been made on the yachting lines and to get sick and to have refused to al
av.ci fnr tHo cs imipoc tor tvn nt boat- low any one except her pet physician
and Japanese Ashing craft are to be to look after her, John Ingram would
built after that model. The American have conformed to Mrs. Jordan s
stvle is expected to be adopted grad- opinion, and never have known any-
oii v.v fh.o. .Tnnnnese fishermen sren- thing about It. As It was, he let nim
erally, which will mark the passing of self into his apartments that night
the light Junk, equally aaaptea to bcui- aouui. a. .
IieumilUK 1U1 mo cicuuiu iifiiis
stumbled over his silver teapot, and
the girl on the couch sat up suddenly,
her sleepy eyes blinking from the light.
Sho gave one gasp, then straightened
herself on the couch, her feet braced
firmly on the floor. "I'm not afraid of
you, 3he said breathlessly, eyeing tne
teapot in his hand, and wondering
ling or sailing, and the substitution of
the dorv for tne sampan. rew iom
The Marriage Pocket.
"Married, sir?" the tailor asked.
"Just married." the young man an
swernd, with a blush.
Then," said the other, "we will in
sert a secret pocket here in the lining what he had already put in the small
of the coat.
"Wh what for?" the bridegroom
stammered In amazement.
Before such ignorance the tailor
could scarce repress a smile.
"To hide your change, you know,"
he said, "before you go to pea.
erip beside him.
He stood still, his astonishment, aid
ed by the silver teapot, giving him the
appearance of detected guilt. .
Aren t you asnamea or your
self?" Bhe asked sternly.
I don't seem able to analyze my
feelings," the doctor said, doubtfully.
To think of a man breaking into a
Ttoir,- rvn Ativ at Llvernool street house and stealing teapots," she
station, London, I asked a booking said accusingly.
lerk whether he could tell me where "I only seem to have one,
Sapsworth was. His answer was that arded excusingly.
he had never heard of such a place. "It's Just as bad as
"t ' T nra-ed. "Is not that the way stealing, her young
the country people pronounce Saw- righteous Indignation.
hrld?wnrth'" xno doctor gripped mo irapui auu
"No. indeed." he laughingly replied, stared wonderingly at her tumbled
"they call It Sapsy." London Spec- JKJ.
he haz-
a dozen It's
voice full of
seem quite as bad to srteal Just one
you seem a little hard on a man.
One s enough to get you into trou
ble," Judiciously. "Have you ever
been In Jail?" she asked with frank
rcvAm V, n TMlHdelrhia. Record.!
. .... i i.. I curiosity.
Many a .spotless rBPui,.uu "No, thank heaven," he responded
whitewashed. fervently, "you you wouldn't send
If you want to find a man out get t 1f, woui,i Vou?" the doctor
a Job as bill collector. was beginning to enjoy his histrionic
The professional humorist's idea of talent, and put eloquent pleading in
a practical Joke is one he can sell. his eyes.
Lots of fellows would marry a bank "1 don't just Know wnat to ao wun
,nnt nr mutter what its owner you." renectiveiy. iou sec, x iievcr
looked like.
The redder you paint things the
night before the bluer you feel next
Tho suburbanite shouldn't seriously
consider raising his own vegetables
unless he feels he can afford It.
Manv a fellow who has told a girl Her face turned red as she remem
she was good enough to eat has been J bered the money she had saved by us-
caught a burglar before, and don't
know what to do."
"Would you mind my sitting down
while you think it over? Of course I
don't expect you to have much sym
oathv for me you have never had
any temptation to take things that
didn't belong to you
obliged to swallow his own words.
A man is satisfied to give a woman
the last word, but the trouble is she
wants it first, last and all the time,
Nell "They say he had a shady
reputation." Belie "Yes, his wife
constantly has a detective shadowing
Ing some one s apartment without
But tonlgnr. i was urea ana nun-
I mlgnt give you sometning to
eat." she said hesitatingly, "but I'm
afraid to take my finger off this bell."
Let me fix something to eat," he
an s-iresteri with alacrity. "VOU Sit Still
No. Maude, dear, we have never wntf,h me. and ring the bell if I
heard that naval officers never pay beKjn to do anything suspicious." He
more than 25 cents for playing cards. went to a cabinet and found some tea.
Your ideas of the quarter deck are then started the alcohol lamp. "There
rather confused.
From the Chicago News.
Get a move on you, then keep going.
The larger the bluff the smaller It
looks when called.
Some people's troubles are enough
to make others laugh.
It is wonderful what a lot of kissing
a little mouth can do.
are. some olives and sardines and a
box of crackers in the chafingdlsh
cabinet," he said while he put the
kettle to boil.
You must have ransacked the
whole apartment before I awoke,"
she said Indignantly.
Well er I do seem to remem
ber where to find things that's my
profession, you know.-
"Have you put any of the doctor's
things in that grip?" she pointed to the
satchel he had left on the floor.
The doctor scorned to tell a lie, even
when he was cornered. "Only a few
- Some people derive a lot of satisfac
tion from their Qissatisiactions.
wvion it fnmea tn underestimating I of his collars and cuffs," extenuatlngly,
him-eif q mnn seldom overdoes it. I "you see. I rather needed some clean
TVio huhhlln hroolc. like a habhllnfi- things.
"I should think you did." her glance
took In the coal dust sprinkled over his
man, Is unable to keep its mouth shut.
In accounting for others the book- I tar.t, tho tweert run Ret raklshlv nn his
keeper does a little work on his own nea(j and the loose Norfolk Jacket he
account. I had worn to travel in. "Even If you
It requires a lot of strenuous will I are poor, you might keep your face
rrwer fnr a Hrl nf 2S to act as If she 1 clean I wouldn t have blamed you
"Oh I didn't take teapots I took
everything," miserably.
He forked a sardine out of the boi
and settled himself comfortably. "Sup
pose you tell me about it maybe w
could help each other out of a hole,"
his voice was full of klndnesa
"I took the whole flat," she said for
lornly, and told him how she had yield
ed to the temptation to save her little
bit of money.
"Little woman, don't you mind. I
don't believe that chump of a doctor
would mind a bit if he knew. If he did
he wouldn't be much of a man in my
opinion. You needn't even think of It
and you can stay here a week longer
and be safely cleared out before he gets
back to the flat," he finished lamely.
"Do you. think I might?" she asked
"I know you may," with a convincing
air, "and you haven't done anything
wrong, you've even done the man a
good turn haven't you kept me from
stealing his silver? And you have talk
ed to me like I was a human being. I
promise you I'll never attempt to steal
another teapot as long as I live."
"If you would stop stealing and fix
yourself respectably you would look
really nice and could get a Job," she
encouraged. "You don't look like a
common burglar."
He took the satchel from the floor
trying to hide the fact that he was
choking over the idea of not looking
hopelessly, degraded.
"Whenever I get respectable I shall
want to thank you for what you have
done for me will you tell me your
name?" he asked as he stood in the
"Marjorie Kershaw and I will be
glad to help you get a Job," interested
in his reformation.
The doctor thought of the usual
"Jobs" he met with and smiled. "Good
night. Miss I hope I'll be a
changed man when you see me again."
He went out, leaving her staring
blankly at the door.
Firm in her resolve to give the man
a cnance to reform, witnoui starting
handicapped, Marjorie did not tell
even Martha of her adventure. When,
therefore, Mrs. Sedley, the principal of
the preparatory school In which Mar
jorie taught that fall, called in Dr.
Ingram to treat Miss Kershaw's
sprained ankle, she had no Idea that
she was furnishing the sequel to the
'Miss Kersaw, I think Dr. Ingram
can soon have that foot feeling more
comfortable," she said, as the doctor
followed her into the room.
Dr. Ingram's eyes twinkled with
sudden recognition. "Ah I think
Miss Kershaw and I have met berore
it was at let me see a luncheon.
was it not, Miss Kershaw?"
The riot o" color in ner lace ucKiea
his fancy immensely. "I rather think
it was at a masquerade," she retorted,
her eyes flashing.
You were kind enough to promise
me a Job I see you are a woman of
your word," he wrapped the bandage
skillfully, taking longer than was cus
tomary. "I have made a bad Job of
this," slyly tearing the linen into a
shorter length than he wanted; "could
you find a bandage somewhat longer
than this, Mrs. Sedley?" he asked In
an absolutely professional manner.
When she left the room, tne gin
looked at him reproachfully. "And
they were your rooms," she said
I wouldn't have missed so charm
ing an experience for worlds," he said
emphatically. "Mrs. Jordan positive
ly refused to commit herself on the
subject I have pumped her world
without end. She's absolutely non
committal. Even when I told her that
I found some hairpins on the bath
room shelf, she said she thought she
had missed some."
The girl gave an Irrepressible giggle.
"Please brine them when you come
next time," she said, then suddenly
grew serious. "Will I be able to skate
this winter?" anxiously.
He looked at her with a solemnity
befitting the last stage of a hopeless
case. It will neea a great oau m at
tention, but I think Just think, mind
you that you mignc snaie xne htul
time tne ice is tnicK enougii n u
had a physician at hand to watch you
and keep you from overexertion."
Her face flushed ana sne nera,
with relief, Mrs. seaieys returning
Promise that you u go tne very
first freeze," he said eagerly; -promise
or I vow I'll put on something that
will blister and will put pins in the
bandage lots of 'em."
She hesitated, ner eyes sny Deroro
the Impulsive admiration in his gaze.
I promise, sne saia soitiy, as iyirs.
Sedley entered the room.
The verv thing. Mrs. aeaiey. ne
exclaimed, taking the roll of linen.
w-3 will have her as comiortao e as
can be. And, Mrs. seaiey, i wis.i you
would see to It tnat sne ooes nut al
low that ankle to grow stiff when she
recovers the use of it. There will
soon be fine skating I should recom
mend it as the exercise most suited to
tho ligaments involved."
"I told you I might be turned Into
a nice respectable man," he whisper
ed "I like my new Job immensely!"
(Copyrighted, 1907, by Homer
didn't care to get married.
Tell a vomefi about a year
marriage that she might have
better and she will not deny it.
From the New York Press. J
Family arguments are always run
under forced draught.
A man's Income Is a very useful
thing to those who spend It for him.
A girl believes in love at first sight
until she marries on tnat system.
Red hair is a good thing not to be
married to for the sake of the children.
A woman can always quote the
Bible to prove something she says in
an argument and a man never knows I on the doctor's face then.
it Isn't there.
much if you had taken a cake of the
doctor's soap he uses awfully nice
soap." remlnlscently.
Would you er take a cup or tea
or are you above eating with a burg
lar?" . .
Her vounsr eves were hungry it had
been hours since Mrs. Jordan's early
dinner she hesitated then held out
her hand.
I'll take the tea." she said finally.
"and I'm going to tell you why I'm not
going to turn you over to the police."
The doctor allowed Just the proper
amount of surprised Joy to beam in his
face. "You are going to let me go?"
he gasped.
She nodded her. head affirmatively.
Yee because I'm a thief, too," she
said almost in a whisper.
It was a real emotion that appeared
What the
dev , what do you mean?" he gasped.
"What did your wife say when you ar
rived home last night"
"She didn't say anythtlng; simply pelted
me with flowers'
"lngulafdld 'you say? Oh. the pota
came with them, you know. "-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
8neDearest. have you no rural rela
tlonswe could visit during the heated
teHeYes. darling, but their terms are
so summary.-Chlcago Record-Herald.
"Ain't he cute? Everybody says he Is
WrS knkiraHou.to Post.
"Would you please give a poor man a
dl'"ly dear sir," replied the philanthro
pist, "you have not grasped the first prin
ciple of charity. A dime would be of
small avail, but with $10 you could do
something. Still I am favorable to your
nlea You hustle $9.90 and the desired
.1 ; . Is -voiirs.
"But supposing that meanwhile I starve
"In that case," responded the philan
thropist, "you would not need even the W
cents." Philadelphia Ledger.
"Jenkins came home with me the other
morning, and he heard part of my wife's
remarks on the hour."
"rid she confine them to your'
"Confine them? Not much. She re
leased them." Chicago Journal.
"The closing number of the evening,
said the famous pianist, "Is by Chopin.
"Ah!" said the punster in the audience
"I see. Last but not Liszt." Somerville
Texas Pony What are you doing out
here on the ranch?
Giraffe They're using me to give a ten
derfoot his first lesson In lassoing. De
troit Free Press.
Knlcker Has he an inherited streak for
saving money? ... .
Bocker-Yes. Indeed; his rather was m
police captain aand his mother was
chorus girl. New York Bun.

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