THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURNAI-WEDNESDAY EVENING, J JLY 24, 1907.
v.
TOPEKA STlffi MR51L
By FRAKK P. MAC LEXNAX.
fEntered July 1. 1S7S. a Mcotl-clau
l ln" pcctnnice at Topeka, ivao..
- in jt ctngraa.j
VOLUME! XXXIV... No. 178
Official Paper City of Topeka.
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hooUUeplnjt expr
Suppress the mercury!
Tho Fairbanks presidential boom Is
liable to join that of one Leslie M.
Shaw ere long.
Now that the wheat crop ts saved,
will J. "Pluvlus kindly seer that tho com
has plenty of rain?
There Is this about it: When we get
to riding In airships we will be In less
danger of being run over by auto
mobiles. I a Ft month Is said to have been the
coldest June in 50 years, but it is evi
dent that July has no ambitions in that
direction.
Canada has a population of 6,504,
900, but the statistics fail to show how
large a per cent of it emigrated from
the United States between two days.
The girl whom Senator Beveridge
will marry is rich. There' is no law
against a United States senator engag
ing in this sort of a get-rlch-quick
game.
" the" waitresses are-coming . "the
front. Following close upon the. res
cue of one by Mr. Fairbanks, Mr. Bry
an shook hands with another down
at Iola. '
The recent emperor of Korea rejoices
In the name of Hau Haing. That
Bounds suspiciously like this German
murderer and what is going to happen
to him.
It will occasion no great surprise that
rival wives of the recent emperor of
Korea are making trouble. That's what
the emperor gets for having more than
One wife.
Ella Wheeler "Wilcox is discussing
the enforcement of the pure food law,
from which it may be presumed that
Ella wants her milk and prunes to be
the real thing.
Mr. Fairbanks will be famous even
though he may never become presi
dent. That rescue of a Wyoming
waitress from a watery grave has
made his reputation.
The salaries paid the public school
teachers of this country aggregate
about 200 million dollars or one-seventh
of the nation's drink bill. What a lot
f money education costs!
The fact that ownership also means
responsibility, is shown by the fact
that the Sallna police can not find
anyone who will claim a barrel ' of
- whisky recently captured by them.
There is this about it: If there real
ly should be a war with Japan, you
wouldn't And Captain Richmond
Pearson Hobson . hiding out behind
the woodshed to keep from going.
Now while we have plenty of time,
why not invent the name of the man
who will run the airship? And let us
hope that a better Job will be done
than was accomplished by the man
who discovered "chauffeur."
Having reformed a number of oth
r things In Wichita that needed re
forming, Henry Allen is now turning
the electric light on the public con
tract business down there, and the
Aeople are learning a few interesting
' facta. ' ,
It ts difficult to go against the
Elble, but If Prosecutor Heney con
victs Glass, Calhoun and the other
"men higher up" in the San Fran
cisco graft cases, he may disprove
that It is more blessed to give than to
receive, when It comes to bribes.
-It's a good thing Attorney General
Jackson filed his questions in writing.
Otherwise the Standard Oil company
probably would not have the least i-lea
what are the answers, judging from
the recent evidence of Mr. Rockefel
ler. But if it has an opportunity to
study up beforehand It ought to be able
to pass a fairly creditable examination.
Recently It was pointed out In these
columns that the south has a tremend
ous advantage over tho north in the Re
publican national convention, consider
ing the number of votes cast. " Now a
South Carolina paper makes this ex
planation: "A Kansas newspaper com
plains because South Carolina will have
a delegate In the Republican national
convention for every 142 votes, while
Kansas would have 1,480 delegates if
the same rule held for Kansas. How
ever, time was when the average South
Carolina. Republican was worth $1,100
at auction, and It Is on this proportion
of values to Kansas Republicans that
lepresentatlon In their national conven
tion Is now based."
PUBLIC CONTRACTS.
Eternal vigilance Is the price of
good municipal government, apparent
ly, under our present system. From
one end of the country to the other
one hears of graft In city affairs.
Down In Wichita Henry Allen has
been investigating the subject of con
tracts for public works, and as a re
sult he makes these few remarks edi
torially in the Wichita Beacon:
"No people are as 'wise' as the men
who make a business of public con
tracts. They get acquainted, with
every sort of public rogue, from the
jolly good fellow who has a place in
the city council and uses it to help
himself into subcontracts, down to the
fake 'engineer,' who gets to be a
supervisor ona Job, for the purpose of
letting the contractor bribe him to
ignore xpeclflcations.
"The Beacon has within the past
few days talked with three experi
enced contractors who either hold or
have held Wichita contracts, and they
all say that the conditions surrounding
public wcrk In Wichita are 'rotten.'
"Towns and cities are all classified
by these experienced contractors. Some
are listed as 'dead square,' and when
a contractor figures on a job he
doesn't have to add to his bid a per
cent for some one In the engineering
department, or in the city council.
Other towns are known to be 'crooked'
in public works, and when a contrac
tor takes a Job he knows he's got to
stand for a graft. No contractor pays
a grafting city official from his own
pocket. He saves at the expense of
the quality of his work whatever he
has to pay the grafter. No dishonest
engineer ever requires honest work of
a contractor. When a .city, engineer
and a contractor get together it's a
pair of them, and they are in league
to rob the city. Better a thousand
times let a contractor do his work
with no supervision whatever than
place a grafting engineer over him.
In one case the city only suffers the
expense of taking care of one rogue.
When the engineer stands in, the city
pays for two rogues, and the result
Is shown in Imperfect public work,
which makes itself manifest a year or
two after it Is completed. In bad sew
ers, rickety bridges, rotten pavement,
and half built sidewalks."
A FINANCIER'S VIEW.
The saneness of the opinions held
by Henry Clews, the New York bank
er whose weekly, financial reviews are
widely quoted, has often been re
marked upon. Mr. Clews is one of
the' few" Wall street -bankers who
backed up President Roosevelt, and
who asserted that the decline In stocks
some time ago was caused by the poli
cies of the financial magnates them
selves rather than by President
Roosevelt's crusade to make them
obey the law.
Mr. Clews' ideas regarding the Jap
anese war scare are therefore inter
esting. "Fortunately," he says, "the
silly war talk with Japan is subsid
ing. There never has been either
reason or feeling to justify the flood
of nonsense which has been circulated
on this subject during the last few
weeks. If the truth were known, it Is
probable that much of this war talk
has been inspired by international
politics. Both Russia and Germany
probably Imagine that their Interests
would be promoted by a conflict be
tween Japan and the United States.
Often the wish is father to the
thought; and these nations would
gladly see Japan clppled in order
that they might secure a stronger
foothold in the Pacific; their ambi
tions in this respect having been
gravely disappointed by the Japan
ese victory over Russia. Japan Is
Britain's ally, and it would give these
two nations additional pleasure to see
that combination weakened or brok
en, for it is well known that England
could not be Induced to take any part
in a war betweert Japan and the Unit
ed States."
AX OKLAHOMA WOMAN.
Kate Barnard is candidate of both
political parties for state commission
er of charities under the proposed
Oklahoma constitution a constitution
whose framers. among other things,
outstripped the older southern states
In providing for compulsory education
and outstripped the older northern
states in writing into this permanent
political instrument a prohibition of
labor of children. For these among
other things Kate Barnard is re
sponsible, according to a writer in
Charities and The Commons.
Armed with a letter from her gov
ernor and mayor, she set out to find
out what "the great men and women,"
as she calls them, the leaders in pub
lic welfare, were doin in older states.'
Her letters were to the mayors of Chi
cago and St. Louis, but she made her
wants known to people of a different
stamp factory inspectors, charity
workers, settlement leaders, nosing
about amour slum conditions, and
visiting great industrial establishments.
From all reports, her speeches In
Oklahoma took like wild fire.
"In the mining towns especially,"
says the writer referred to, "the people
turned out for her. At a country fair
she noticed a man listening attentive
ly; so she talked at him. She told
him how she had seen a man, sticking
pigs In the stock yards of Chicago all
day so many an hour so many
hours nothing else In h!s life. If that
man met you in an alley at night, and
mistaking you for a pig, did what
civilization had taught him to do. did
what civilisation crowded out every
thing else In his life and held him to
doing, who was to blame? Or If he
mat you In the pearly streets of the
hereafter, and stuck you there, what
then? - And ahe told- how such things
were entering into, the life of Okla
homa, how she had gone Into mines,
'waded In mud and slush nearly two
feet deep and crawled on hands and
knee3 through narrow black passages'
and seen there "tho little children
down In those Inky passages, forgotten
by the bright outside world, down,
down, down, where no grass grows,
no birds sing, and no flowers bloom.'
That was the sort of talk that counted
In this Oklahoma campaign."
And as a result, education Is made
compulsory and child labor is pro
hibited by the constitution of Okla
homa. ' . -
If we have a war with Japan, will
we quit using Japanese- lanterns on
our lawns 7
You will note that the fly doesn't
neea any incubator to help hatch Its
eggs.
Although it leafed . a great deal
earlier, summer appears to be work
ing overtime on the job now.
.
Has this drop in the price of cab
bage any connection with the govern
ment s prosecution of the tobacco
trusty
You don't need to caution a woman
to look before she leaps, if there is a
mirror handy. She will look without
being cautioned.. v " "
JAYttA WKER
IRJ0TS
Down at Garnett. . the . women have
formed a Uneeda club.v This will doubt
less fill a long-felt want.
Begin to save your money. It will
soon be time to buy school books, and
nearly all of them changed this year.
"Mr. Jackson's good work," says the
Jewell Republlcan,"makes Kansas regret
that she didn't elect an attorney general
long ago."
W. R. Stubbs, Congressman Reeder
and Senator I. D. Young are scheduled
among the "attractions" for Old Set
tlers' Day at Jewell City on August 8,
and tho management promises a square
deal.
A recent issue of the Goldfield, Nev.,
Chronicle contains a prophecy that Gold
Mountain near there, will , become the
"biggest mining camp in-'the world."
This is the district In which J C. Starr,
editor of the Scott City News, and who
has dabbled more or less in Kansas poli
tics, is interested. Mr. Starr is presi
dent of the Gold Mountain Eagle Min
ing company, and has been spending
much of his time In the last two years
developing his property.
Deacon Walker: Pretty hard to make
a woman believe that a man can be
doing anything useful by staying at
lodge until midnight. . . . Just be
cause a girl says she is never going to
get married is no sign she has given up
hope, but it Is pretty good evidence that
she Is preparing to not be disappointed.
.. . -. The ability to pitch wheat from
a header barge all day long may not
draw as much applause from the grand
stand as the ability to pitch a wide
out curve, but it helps -father out a
whole lot more. . . , R The young
man" these days who has ari automobile
has almost as great a cinch with the
young ladles as in my day the young
fellow had .who had a finger small
enough to wear a girl's ring. . ' . .
Whenever I meet a man who is eternal
ly blowing about how he always says
just exactly what he thinks and how he
is out and out Just what he really is,
I know I have met another liar.
The staid old Lawrence Journal has
got Its sporting blood up. Listen to
this: "There once was a man who was
accounted wise. He was a club member
and never said a word, wherefore his
reputation. Finally on the bill of fare
was shrimps. 'Shrimps,' he declared as
a smile covered his face, 'that's me. The
Journal is that way about the fair.
While being in sympathy with the fair
It has been a bystander but when
horreshoe pitching was mentioned, that
was us. The match game of horseshoe
at the fair will be the best of them all.
Ever pitch horseshoes? If not your ed
ucation has been neglected. You take
the shoe in your hand, put a finger at
one end and balance the thing with
your thumb, then you raise It to the
level of your eye and calculate delib
erately Just where It will go. With a
raising inflection of the body you throw
the shoe directly at the pin and anxious
ly look to see it right. Sometimes it lies
where sent and the ringer cheers your
heart. At other times it strikes the pin
at the wrong angle and goes so far
wrong that the other fellow tells you
you need a bell on it and you believe
him. You get even when the other fel
low plays, he does even worse." There is
luck in pitching horseshoes. ' One' man
can win and another lose, through pure
luck. Let us have a great contest when
the township fellows all come in."
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago' News.
The man who argues with a fool is
in the same boat.
Better an impediment In the speech
than in the brain.
A woman never attempts to bake
bread unless she kneeds it.
Smacks are small vessels that fol
low In the wake of courtships.
Too much cannot be said in favor
of the person who hasn't much to say.
A man with an empty head is better
off than the man who loses his head.
Opportunity waits for no man
therefore if you have an appointment
with it,don t fail to be Johnny-on-the-spot.
-
Perhaps the world may owe you a
living', but you will die. of starvation if
you sit down and wait for It to call
and settle.
"Blood will tell," quoted the Wise
Guy. "Perhaps," said the Simple Mug,
"but It generally neglects to speak
when It passes a poor relation."
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
From the New York Press, 1
The interesting thing about a lie Is
guessing if anybody will be fool
enough to believe it.
A widow is always willing to learn,
specially if she haa to forget what she
already knows to do it.
A disagreeable thing about marry
ing a rich wife is the way she could
dock your pay for staying out late
nights.
When a man can't tell whether a
woman's hat is a new-fangled baby
carriage or a fancy lamp shade she
knows It is a success.
The interesting thing to a ' woman
about being In a sleeping car is it is
so perfectly respectable, but would be
a scandal anywhere else.
' ill i ii -aaaea
JOURNAL ENTRIES
L
KANSASlCOMMENT
SHIPTLESS.
Shiftles.neEs":n this country is grow
ing so rapidly that it has become a
menace. Many so-called respectable
people are shiftless. They seem content
wntn iney nave enough to eat and wear,
and they don't care for anything else.
xiie wnier ordered an article from a To
peica ractory last week. The shipping
uieric gave it to the Pacific Express
company on the 12th, and It was not de
livered here till the.J.Cth. Four days on
me way rrom Topeka to Hoi ton 30
miles on account of a shiftless messen
ger en route. The article should have
come by mail the day it was sent,
charges 3 cents. But the shipping clerk
was shiftless. He cared so little about
his work that he didn't look to see that
the Pacific Express companyy would
carry the package around by Kansas
City and charge 25 cents. Meanwhile
the writer spent 50 cents trying to trace
the article by telephone. Ail because
the clerk was shiftless. Farmers com
plain that It is next to impossible to
find hands who will take an Interest In
their work and try to earn their salary.
Instead, they slop along any old way,
with no thought, apparently, but Satui
day afternoon off and their so much per.
Just shiftless. Housewives complain
about shiftless girls who leave dirt in
the corners and 611ed dishes in the cup
board, and who show up for work In
the morning. If they are not too tired
from gadding the night, before. The
great prosperity of the country doubt
less is responsible for much of the shlft
lessness complained of. Anybody can
get a job now, and the pay Is good. But
sometime the prosperity will wane, and
there won't be many jobs. Then the
competent men and women will do the
work and the brazen shiftless ones will
hit the pike, become tramps and organ
ize Coxey armies The modest shiftless
persons will starve. Holton Signal.
CEMENT.
Kansas, being one of the largest ce
ment producing states In the country.
Is accordingly much concerned in the
development of the concrete building
industry. It will therefore be interest
ed in the fact that the collapse of a
building In San Francisco followed by
that of another lately in Philadelphia,
both of this material, are being cited
is illustrating the danger of such con
struction. Concrete when properly
made is simply rock, however, mere
is concrete construction in Ceylon that
is 2,000 years old, and it is exactly as
strong and solid today as tne naiurai
rock upon which it was placed. In
streneth and durability concrete is su
perior -to brick and mortar construc
tion, xne collapsing oi duimhibs hcic
and there is no reflection upon the value
nt nnncrete. but rather upon the men
who have prepared it, it being evident
that they have tailed to aaa ine eie
mcnta In nroner oronortion. If it is
neither porous nor spongy, and if it is
given time to harden thoroughly, no
better building material than concrete
will be found. Leavenworth Times.
PARKER AND CENTRALIZATION.
Judge Alton B. Parker ts out wun a
speech against the "centralization or
power." Remember , Parker? He is
the man who centralized-enough power
to make the Democratic national con
vention change the financial pianK in
its last platform, and who was after
ward flattened into, the shape of a thin
dime by the centralized power of pop
ular vote. Ottawa JHerald. ,
COST OF. BAD ROADS. ;
wn' hava been talking good roads
for a long' time itrutrowe are not build
ing them very ifast in Kansas. Some
way the people shy;at the price. They
prefer to haul, half through mud
and kill their horses: rather than haul
full loads over pike's and, have good
horses.-rLawrence Journal. ..
THE BILLBOARD NUISANCE.
There Is not a street, nor a public
place, nor a hillside, nor a park neigh
borhood, nor a residence- street, nor a
business street In Cincinnati exempt
from the nuisance. From the win
dows of every school house m Cincin
nati the children can see the hideous-
ness and the indecencies, of the bill
board. No church can dismiss its
eoncreeation but the billboard will
stare the congregation in the face as
it leaves the portals of the church.
The nuisance is everywhere in all Its
completeness. The billboarder, un
taxed and unrestrained, is adding to
the nuisance everywhere and every day
and if the Clncinnatian takes to tne
hilltops or the suburbs the billboard is
with him continuously. It is not alto
gether creditable to Cincinnati cen
ter of art and of music and of culture!
Will Cincinnati allow the nuisance to
be continued and increased .' Cincin
nati Commercial Tribune.
COSTLY INDULGENCE.
In the latest "unwritten law" trial
in Virginia it turns out that the de
fendant was a victim of delirium
tremens from the excessive use of
alcoholic liquor, and that if he had
paid as much attention to tne care or
his daughter as he .did to the indul
eonce of his appetite the murder
could not have happened. New Bed
ford Evuning Standard.
GETTING IN LINE.
John Temple Graves, writing in the
Atlanta Georgian, says: "The convic
tion deepens that William J. Bryan Is
the tallest moral figure that American
statesmanship has produced since
George Washington." We have a
deepening suspicion that Mr. Graves
has reasons for believing it to be high
time for him to crawl back into the
band wagon. Chicago Record-Herald.
.
COAL FAMINE COMING.
ExVerts declare that the world's
supply of anthracite at the present
rate of consumption: will be exhausted
In "seventy-five years. The prudent
man will order his coal for the winter
of 19 82 at once. Chicago Tribune.
BLTLD AN ATLANTIC FLEET?
It will not take the alarmists long
to perceive the subtile craft Involved
in getting up a Japanese war scare to
draw our battleships to the Pacific
side of the continent,' in order that
some European foe may ravage the
Atlantic side at leisure. Philadelphia
Inquirer.
MUST BE GETTING POOR.
Sporting life isn't what it used to be
in the east. At the recentNew York
Suburban John W. Gates was able to
bet only about J30.000 instead of his
customary million. Los Angeles
Times. . -
THE FIRST FAMILIES EAT IT.
It is good form now - to eat round
steak. It has risen to an eminently aris
tocratic price. Chicago 'Tribune, ' -
ALSO AVOIRDUPOIS.
"Taft Is a man 6t splendid poise."
declared an Ohio exchange. Detroit
Free Press.
j FROM OTHER PENS
FROM JOE TO BENT.
Topeka, Kansas, July 19, 1907.
Dear Bent Age enriches and mellows
VOlfc 1 hnvA rcntl vniii- article. "Bully
j Old Boys" with the utmost pleasure and
l inanK you for writing it. i nope you
will hang long on the tree and drop Into
our basloets more fruit . like that. You
have suggested to me a thought of my
own. It is my weakness and perversity,
that I run to verse. I am sorry for this
Harmless fad, but I cannot help u.
TO BENT MURDOCK.
The night broods over the ocean.
And somber: the gloom on the shore;
We hear the tempeata' commotion.
And wait for the sound of an oar.
Our feet are sprayed by the surges;
In comes the faint sob of the sea.
That sighs the saddest of dirges
And sounding for you and me.
We've been a aoldier and rover.
Across all the Nation's wide bounds;
We've nlaved the role of a lover.
And marched with the guard on Its
' rounds :
We've drank the cup overflowing.
Of the ruddiest brand- of the wine:
We've been where the gunners were mow
ing,
' A swath through the thick of the line.
No' fabled drink you can mention.
New life In our veins can restore;
Nor bounty, riches nor pension.
Give back youth's ambitions once more.
We wait the call of the Giver,
. With eyes that are shorn of their light
And watch all the sounds on the river
For boat that will soon be in sight.
How fast is time in its flying.
How short are the joys that we share;
The time soon comes to be dying.
aiiu wiawflr our names over there.
Yours very truly,
JOSEPH G. WATERS.
Leeches and Lemons.
Wherever you go. in Cevlnn i
the sailor, "you always carry a lemon
with you. For punch? No dr- net
for punch. For leeches.
"They ain't merely water hi in
Ceylon: they're land leeches, too. These
oiouu suciters nang on to bushes and
trees, they lurk in the grass, waitin'
for you. The average size before din
ner is only half an Inch long and no
thicker than a hair you misrht sav In
visible. They easy work their wav
through the thread of vour stockinea
and underwear. After dinner they're
as fat as your finger.
wnerever you go, the leeches prey
on you. I was dressed in white one
night, dinln' with a beautiful Cevlon
girl, when I saw a red streak on my
white pants below the knee. Excusin'
myself hastily, I retired. It was a' leech.
oi course, dinin' with me uninvited.
"The only way to get them off with
out breakin' them and leavin' their
heads inside you is to squeeze a few
drops of lemon on them, the same as if
they was raw oysters. That paralyzes
them, and they fall to the ground like
ripe fruit. Every two or three minutes
you see the Ceyonese stop, take our a
lemon, and anoint carefully the half
dozen leeches stuck in a black mass to
the calf of the leg.
The average Ceylon leeches was. I
said, half an inch long. Yet there's
some full three inches long that can
Jump, by crinus, that Jump on you from
the busnes as you pass by.
Sounds booblous, don t it? But
what can be doobious In a land where
they have bird-cachin' spiders and
centipedes a foot long?"
Tho Tomb of Walter Scott.
In Dryburgh Abbey, standing
among the ruins of the ancient choir.
with the afternoon sun shining upon
it, we saw the tomb of Walter Scott in
St. Mary's aisle. A noble block of
Aberdeen granite marks the last rest
ing place of Sir alter and Lady
Scott, -The -simple inscriptions record
the dates of birth and death of , the
husband and wife. Here also the
mortal remains of the novelist's chil
dren, and of his son-in-law and biog
rapher, 'John Gibson Lockhart, of
whom 'Scott wrote affectionately,
Lockhart Is Lockhart, to whom I can
most willingly confide the happiness
of the daughter who chose him, and
whom he has chosen."
As we turned from the grave of
Walter Scott and wandered across the
now roofless and grass-grown refec
tory, we recalled his last connected
words to Lockhart: "My dear, be a
goon man be virtuous be religious
be a good man; nothing else will
give you any comfort when you come
t lie here."
When we drove back to Melrose to
take the train for New Castle and Dur
ham, at which latter place we were to
sleep that night, we confided to each
other that the hours spent among the
familiar haunts of Walter Scott were
altogether the sweetest hours of our
sojourn In Scotland, Anne Hollings
worth Wharton, in Book News
Monthly.
A Newspaper Story.
"When you are abroad this sum
mer," said a journalist, "you will find
in your English newspaper that every
telegraphic report is credited to Reu
ter's Agency. Reuter supplies all the
telegraphic news over there, as the As
sociate Press supplies it over here.
"Now listen to this story.
"Werner von Siemens, a German
electrical engineer, was commissioned
in 1850 to lay the first telegraph line
between Verviers and Cologne. While
he was laying this cable, a pretty wo
man came to him and besought him to
desist. The telegraph, she said, with
tears in her fine eyes, would ruin her
husband's business and reduce him to
penury. His business was the conduct
of a huge and successful pigeon post
between Brussels and Aix-la-Chapelle.
"Siemens advised the young woman's
husband to convert his pigeons Into
pie, and to go to London and start a
news agency there. He would give him,
he said, valuable Introductions.
"The man went to London and start
ed a news agency. His name was
Reuter. In a few short years, po suc
cessful was his new line of work, he
had become a baron and a millionaire.
"So, when you see Reuter's name a
dozen times In every English newspa
per, tnmit or nis rumea pigeon post,
and take to heart the lesson that new
inventions do not harm, but help, those
who have Intelligence, Industry, and a
pretty wife."
The MoTlne Habit.
"Yes, we are going to move to escape j
house cleaning." j
. "And so are we. If I must confess It
myself, I think it will take the new
tenants two weeks to get rid of all the
rubbish we are leaving behind."
"The same here. Our house will need
a mop and soap from cellar to roof. By
the way. where are vou going?".
"No. 15 L street."
"What? Why, that Is where we are
leaving."
"Well, I declare.' . Where are you go
ins?" "No. 11 B street."
"Why, that's where we are leaving."
"Phew!"
"Great Scott!" Tit-Bits.
Shoeing the Bridesmaids.
An interesting Innovation was made
at a recent wedding at Tunbridge Wells.
In place of the usual gifts of jewelry,
the bridegroom presented each of the
bridesmaids with a pair of dainty
shoes, 1 mounted with silver, the Idea
being that there is as much good luck
In new shoes as in old boots. London
Dally Mail.
TIIE EVENING STORY
Mistress Mary.
By Temple Balley.l
"How does your garden grow?" asked
the young man who leaned over the
fence.
"Oh, dear," little Miss Mary told him,
"look at it." .
- There had been eight neat little plots
laid out In the empty city lot. Miss
Mary, the settlement worker from
across the way. had brought her little
girls over, and they had dug and
planted and trained, and yesterday
there had been beans climbing sturdily
up the poles, and tomatoes already
blossoming and parsley and lettuce
ready for salad, and radishes.
"And now, look at it," said Miss Mary
again.
It was trampled and torn and the lit
tle plants lay in the dust.
"The neighborhood boys did it." Miss
Mary said, "your boys."
"Are you sure?" asked the young
man.
"Yes," Miss Mary said, "one of my
little girls saw them."
"They are a bad lot," said the young
man, with a stern setting of his Hp
"I am afraid I shall have to give them
up."
"Oh, don't!" said little Miss Mary,
they need you all the more because
they are bad. Don't give them up.
He smiled at her. "Don't you ever
get discouraged?" he asked.
"Sometimes," she admitted, "when
things like this happen," and her hand
swept out toward the ruined garden.
"We had planned to pick the lettuce
this morning, and we were going to
have it for lunch with our bread and
butter."
I tell vou." said the young man.
whose name was Oswald Gunning, "1 11
make the boys give the little girls a
treat. It's better than punishing them,
and what's more, I'll make them come
over with it." . ,
Do you think they'll do it.'" asuea
Miss Mary, interested.
Yes. I'll tell tnem now aiaaiiu
you are In them. They won t care wnat
the little girls think, but they are aw
fully fond of you. Miss Mary."
'Oh," said little Miss jaary, im
blush. ......
"They show their good taste, said
the young man, earnestly. "I am aw
fully fond of you myself."
"You mustn't talk such things to me.
said little Miss Mary, but her eyes
sparkled.
Mistress Mary, quite contrary.
How does your garden grow?
he sang, under his breath, and then he
saidi ,
I shall say it wnenever j. iik.b, iui
it's true. I am very torm oi yuu. v i j,
very fond. . . ;
"The little gins are tuui"'B, i
Miss Mary severely, "and you'd better'
6So, still singing under his breath, he J
ent to the public playground uu i
v. i ... in nhvciral trainlnff.
"I am ashamed of you," he told them,
a little later, as they sat before him
sheepishly. "Here I have spent my time
upon you and all I seem to have taught
you is how to make a lot of little girls
unhappy." .
"Aw gwan," protested Jim Dovesky
from the front row.
"And you have made Miss Mary un
happy," said the teacher with increas
ing earnestness, "and she was crying
when I got ther this morning crying
over that poor, little garden."
Aw, gwan," murmured Jim again,
and-there - wereother -apologetic mur
murs from the background.
"It seems to me," Gunning told them,
and watched the effect of his words,
"that we ought to make It up to them
somehow."
He had the boys there. They had ex
pected punishment, and now he proposed
restitution. It took their fancy at once.
"Sure," came the hearty chorus.
"We can't make the little garden
grow," said their teecher, "we can't
bring life to the little dead plants, and
that's a pity, too. But we can let the
little girls know that we are sorry. They
were going to pick the lettuce today,
and have it with their bread and but
ter for lunch. And you know there Isn't
anything nicer than vegetables from
your own garden."
There were various proposals, but Jim
Doveeky's was the most popular.
"Let's buy thirty little pies, and each
girl will have one for her lunch."
With visions of indigestion. Gunning
protested, but the Idea took like wild
fire. There was a hasty pooling of finances,
and a delegation of boys started to tho
nearest bakery.
"I tried to switch them off to berries
or ice cream," Gunning explained later
to Miss Mary, "but I couldn't. And
it's the Idea, not the article."
"Yes," Miss Mary agreed. She was
standing in the middle of the ruined
garden, with the little girls digging in
the eight little beds. "It's nice of them,
and I only hope the little girls won't be
ill."
Her voice was tired, and she looked
warm and weary.
'Poor little Mistress Mary," said Gun
ning, looking down at her, "has it been
a hard morning'"
"The girls nearly cried their eyes
out." she said. "They wept on my
shoulder in bunches, and it was wear
ing." "I wish you would weep on my
shoulder," eaid the impertinent young
man: "it would help you a lot and I
should like it Immensely," and when
she reproved him, he went away sing
ing: Mistress Mary, quite contrary.
How does your garden grow ?
which of late had become a most pop
ular song with him.
At noon the boys marched into the
settlement house with the pies, and
Jim Dovesky made the speech of pre
sentation. "It's a peace-offerln'," he said with
a flourish, "gft on to it."
And the little girls, round-eyed and
forgiving, divided their bread and but
ter and divided the little pies, and
made the boys stay to lunch.
"Which spoils the lesson, but settles
thiners up nicely," said Gunning. "Ac
cording to all laws the boys should
have suffered. As it is, I am the only
one who suffers."
Miss Mary stared at him. "You?"
was her startled question.
"What do I get out of it?" he de
manded. "What do you want?" ahe asked. In
nocently enough, but her swift blush
betrayed her.
"I want you," was his bold state
ment. She shook her head, but before she
could open her Hps he begged, "Don't
h mntrarv. MerT." i
And she laughed at that, tremulous
ly, and after a little she said. "I
won't." (Copyrighted, 1907, by M.
M. Cunningham.)
"What has wealth done for you?" in
quired the cynical peraon.
"Well." answered Mr. Dustin Stax. "it
has given me certain advantasrea. By own
ing a. considerable amount, of good divi
dend paying atock. I have been enabled to
rave most of my salary as a director."
Washington Star.
FAILED TO BLOSSOM.
He yearned for literary fame
A genius he, beyond a doubt.
He longed to make a famous name,
A nune no editor would scout.
So he with pad and pencil sat
And thought and thought, a theme to
get
'Twas years ago, and I guess that
He's sitting there and thinking yet.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
HUMOR OE THE DAY
After asking a great many questions of
a lady, a barrister felt that some apology
was necessary, so he remarked: "I really
hope I don't annoy you with all these
questions?"
"Not at all," answered the lady quietly.
"I am used to it. I have a six-year-old
eon." Philadelphia Inquirer.
"Doctors never bleed people now,' do
they?"
"Great Scott, man! did you never have
one of them aend you a bill?" Baltimore
American.
First Mosquito Don't you think these
human beings are too numerous?
Second Mosquito Altogether ao; some
effort ought to be made to exterminate
them." Life.
"What profession does your eon intend
to follow, after he gets out of college?"
asked the visitor of Farmer Komkob.
"I don't think he'll follow any." replied
Farmer Kornkob. "I" think he'a just alt
down, smoke -clgRrettea and let them all
go by him." Milwaukee Sentinel.
"Does your wife ever go through your
pocketa at night?"
"Never."
"You're lucky."
"Am I? The reason she doesn't is be
cause she draws my pay." Cleveland
Leader.
"Father," said the small boy, "what la
a scientist?"
"A scientist, my son, Is a man who
calls ordinary thlnga by auch long namea
that you can't recognize them." Wash
ington Star.
"Doctor, my eon Is excessively diftl-.
dent,"
"Ah. hla Is a very rare ailment."
"Indeed V
"Yea; he is troubled with ingrowing
ego." Philadelphia Bulletin.
"The exiled - Bourbons forgot nothing
and learned nothing."
"It was not so with the insurance kings.
They forgot everything and learned a
heap." Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Drunk again!" said a Scottish magis
trate to the urlsoner before him. "Five
shillings or seven days."
"Och, shure," said the prisoner, who
was an Irish woman. "I have only two
hlllirto- In Via w... I
. "Ah, weel," returned the bailie, "ye
'maun Hat gang to prison. If ye hadna
, ""- jui iwuucy yr - in nae
. 111-
GLOBE RIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
As a matter of fact, thore in nr. vr
big fish in small puddles.
A fool Is the greatest nuisance In this
world. And there are quite a few of
them.
Ever remark that in summer time peo
ple who travel by railroad are nearly
all ugly?
A mule drawing a top buggy looks as
unnatural as the average picture on a
magazine cover.
Some people say the Two Per Cent
now being sold in Kansas is. gradually
getting stronger.
At a boy's school the vacation period
is. necessary to repair the damage done
during the school period.
It is easy enough to talk about a wo
man with five or six children leaving
her husband, but where could she go?
After a man has eaten of a meal that
was prepared only for women, he Is still
hungry enough to go out and rob the
mouse traps.
It. is the easiest thing in tho world
for a woman to fool a man but when a
man fools a woman, the magazines print
pieces about it.
If an agent calls on a man, and sella
him a set of books he does not need,
is the agent not guilty of obtaining
money under false pretenses?
Calling yourself a fool every day is
like repeated doses of medicine: soon
loses its effectiveness. Self-discipline
cal's for a graduated scale of punish
ment. We never knew but one woman wh"--
eaid her husband was too good for her.
But women who are too good for their
husbands are quite common.
Although the sight is a common one.
It is always pathetic. We refer to the
tiny, skinny arms that are displayed be
low short sleeves every day on the
street.
There are some mighty fine children
of worthless fathers in Atchison, but
have you noticed that where the moth
ers are worthless the children rarely get
over it?
Every day you will see cases like this:
A little, thin, sickly looking member of
the family who worries constantly about
the welfare os some big, fat, unwrinkled
member.
An Atchison woman had her tenth
operation performed. "Good heavens,"
said a neighbor who heard of its na
ture, "that leaves nothing to her but the
frame and tho Jilde."
The women are familiar with the way
in which men exaggerate fishing stories.
Well, if the women flirt with the men,
the men will exaggerate fishing stories.
Go to any farm where turkeys and
chickens are kept, and this fact will
impress you: A rooster acts like a
bachelor, whereas a turkey gobbler
acts like a married man. A turkey
gobbler always assists In taking care
of the young.
The fashion of buttoning shirtwaists
down the back is working a great hard
ship on the girls. It leaves them with
out a receptacle for gloves, handker
chiefs, powder rags, and even bedding,
which they formerly carried in the
fronts of their shirt waists.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
One woman can always annoy an
other by saying she Is well preserved.
The rhinoceros has a horn, but that
doesn't necessarily imply that he goes
off on a toot.
One man in a thousand feels that
he Is appreciated, and that man is
really overestimated.
It is said that, wealth doesn't bring
happiness, but most of us are willing
to try the experiment.
After all. there isn't a whole lot of
difference between entering upon a
career and getting a job.
Mrs. Dashawajr "I Just love every
thing that comes from France." Mrs.
Newrlch "So do I, especially French
frisd potatoes."
First Mosquito "It's terrible the
way . people slander us." Second Mos
quito "Yes; we must get together
and administer a stinging rebuke."
Blobbsi "The . Hindoos have the
proper Idea in suppressing flirtation."
Slobbs "What's that?" Blobbs
"They drown all the girls when ther
are babies."