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fHE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURNALS-WEDNESDAY EVENING, MARCH 18, 1908.
4 TOPEKi mm m?Mi. By FRANK P. MAC LKNNAN. nrntei-eri Tniv 1. 1875. as second-class matter at the postoffioe at Topeka, ttao under the act of congress.! VOLUME XXXV Na 67 Official State Paper. Official Paper City of Topeka. m Tunica ,-TT OTTHQPRtPTION. Dally edition, delivered by carrier. 10 cents a ween to any v"- v', :;7Kan- suburbs. or at tne same I""-" "'-arrler as towns where the paper has a carrier system. , go By mail, one year... sx By mall, three months. V'" -t'oa Saturday edition of dally, one year... 1-w TELEPHONES. Business Office ""52 i7 Business Office "?: Reporters' Boom e" neponera nuui" , . Frank P. MacLennan Xnd- 7W PERMANENT HOME. Topeka State Journal building, 800 and 2 Kansas avenue, corner of E pntn. New York Office: Flatiron building, at JwenVthn street, corner Fifth avenue and Broadway. F B12 Chicago Office: Hartford building. Paia Block, manager. . IT'LL LEASED WIRE REPORT OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. The State Journal is a member of the Associated Press and receives the full day telegraph report of that great news or ganization for the exclusive afternoon publication in Topeka. The news is received in The State Jour nal building over wires for this sole pur pose. Congress cat keep Jn1 about as busy doing: nothing as the average farm hand. It is Just a trifle too bad' that Ad fciiraa Evansf Joints are not in the ' same excellent condition aa those of 1 fcls ships. Cities in this country can get a 'valuable pointer for their automobile : regulations from Paris. The French capital has a new one which requires ' automobiles to stop after causing an accident, and imposing both Im ; prisonmerrt and tee as the penalty of aa attempt to escape. Minority members of the senate committees have been rebuked by the Democratic steering committee for their inattention to business. The Democratic senators can hardly be blamed for not showing much interest in the committee work because it is so barren of results for them. A. E. Hepburn, a former comptrol ler of the currency, declares that England ts our onfly friered and: that the other nations of Europe regard us as a bumptious people that ought to be spanked into some sort of de corum. Perhaps this Is so but none of them seem unduly anxious to give us the 'spanking. Of the 182 delegates so far selected) for the Republican national conven tion, 120 of them have been instructed far Taft. There are 24 others in structed for him but who are con tested.. Mr. Fairbanks has 26 dele gates instructed for him, and 12 dele gates are uninstructed. It's beginning to look like a walk-over for the secre tary of war. ' Everybody will Join with, Admiral Dewey in his expression that the battleship fleet under Bob Evans has honored1 the nation by its notable ex ploit in, cruising those thousands of miles without an untoward mishap. As he says it lias cbemomstrate d) to the world that we not only have well trained naval officers aind seamen but also a magnlScemt armada.' of battle ships. ' Dr. Crumbine, secretary of the state board of health, examined a ginger Snap the other day. Among other things in it he found a nail, some small particlies of glass, some earth, two or three small stones and a bunch of cat hair. No wonder he has Issued an edict that ging-er snaps ehaill be manufactured with care and shall be free from deleterious things. The adulteration such as he found is Just ft little too much for aniyon to stand. It is the opinion of the state labor Commissioner that the law prohibiting children under fourteen years of age from being employed in factories should be extended so as to prohibit the employment of children under that age in all kinds of workshops, mercantile establishments and mes senger services. This suggestion of the labor commissioner should be well taken. The employment of children of immature years in any capacity should be discouraged. Mayor Green is to be commended for the stand he has taken in insisting that the gas meter shall be tested by the city and with testing apparatus of its own. Qaa meters are fickle things and It will be remembered that a recent Inspection of thousands of them in New York city revealed the fact that more than half of them ran fifty per cent fast and that Boms were found which operated one hundred and fifty per cent too fast. Many a gas consumer in Topeka be lieves that he is afflicted with rapid gaited meter. It ought not to take long for the aver age business man to arrive at the con . elusion that a big county fair here this fall will be of inestimable benefit to the business Interests of the city. And It ought to take him less time to write out a substantial check as his share of the $12,000 fund which is needed to start the fair with. Money contributed to this fund will be a good investment and now is the time to subscribe. It can be done today as well as tomorrow and the sooner the fund is raised the better it will be for the fair. Now that Bob Evans and his gallant fleet have arrived safe and sound at Magdalena Bay it is the proper time for nine out of every ten persons to remark "I told you so." It will not be offensive In this Instance for nine out of every tea persons believed that the great fleet iu capable todothetask assigned to It. It seems to have arrived in the far off waters of the Pacific in better condi tion, ship for ship, than it was when the start was made and In the words of Admiral Evans it is ready for target practice or war. Happily it is the for mer that will be indulged in. A SAMPLE OF JUSTICE. New York newspapers are telling of a recent incident in that city which illustrates the influence of social ties or associations at the expense of Jus tice. It seems that William K. Vander bilt was arrested by a policeman for overspeeding with his automobile and brought up before Magistrate Frederick Kernochan on the charge of violating the speed limit. When taken before the magistrate Vanderbilt called out. How are you, Freddie?" and the other promptly responded: "Good morning, Will." Then, although the policeman swore that "Will" was speeding at a rapid pace and that he had to chase him two or three blocks before he could catch him, the case was dismissed on Vanderbilfs statement that he was poking along at a speed of not more than seven or eight miles an hour. It must have been an "easy" policeman who thought his oath would stand against the word of a Vanderbilt, but he probably has been wised up a bit. The explanation of the proceeding is that Vanderbilt and Kernochan belong to the same fashionable set, and Justice was not in the game. OCEAN TO OCEAN RAILWAY. In securing control of the Illinois Central on the one hand, and the Georgia Central on the other, E. H. Harriman has accomplished a task that will enable him to run trains from Savannah, Ga, on the Atlantic coast to ' New Orleans on the Gulf and thence via the Southern Pacific to the various points it readies in Cali fornia, and to Portland, Ore., and in termediate places by the Union Pa cific railroad. The Central of Georgia connects at Birmingham, Ala., with the Central of Illinois. The latter connects with the Southern Pacific at New Orleans ana with the Union Pacific at Omaha,. Neb. So that the Harriman lines now cross the continent from sea to sea and run from the Great Lakes to the Gulf. And though Savannah is not New York there is an Importance in the through connection it affords that it is not to be belittled. Though the names of the different roads under his control may remain unchanged, the operation of all will no doubt be unified or co-ordinated as soon as possible. So that, in point of fact, Mr. Harriman is the first to establish a railroad line from oeean to ocean, although others have been trying to do so for some years past. In a sense, it is a great public work. For, if the consolidation, so to speak, of all of the companies ln volved in the transaction pays the one resulting from it, that can only be because It affords am accommodation to the ; public which '. was rearly needed. ' THE PENSION ROLL. There " seems to be a well defined movement under way to enlarge the federal pension roll and to counteract any natural decrease in the govern ments outlay for obligations incurred to volunteers of the Civil, Mexican, Indian and Spanish wars. The expan sion of pension expenditures caused by the dependent pension law of 1890 and the legislation construing and supple menting it has been halted by the op eration of natural causes.. That is to say, the supply of claimants made eligi ble by the dependent pension aot and the acts amending it has now been vir tually exhausted and the annual sub tractions from the roll more than equal the additions to it. The government disbursed for pensions in 1889-'90 the last year under the old system $106,- 000,000. The new claims approved in the three years following, with the ar rearages granted, forced the expendi ture for 1892-'98 up to $156,906,000. That was the largest sum ever paid out in one year through the pension bureau. In 1897-'98 the outlay was $144,651,000. But for the other years up to 1908-'07 the average has been a little under $140,000,009. To all appearances the pension roll had attained Its utmost limit and was destined to shrink at first gradually and then rapidly to the dimensions it had reached before the adoption of the dependency, age and service tests, in addition to the normal test of disability. Executive orders had declared the at tainment of a certain age presumptive proof of a degree of disability common ly encountered at that age, and the McCumber law of 1907 both rearranged I the degrees of presumptive disability ! and Increased the monthly rates allow ed for them. All this legislation dealt with persons already eligible to pen sions under the theory of the depend-, ent pension law. It drew for recruits on the "unknown army" created by the law of 1890 and merely facilitated the exhaustion of that army. The normal decline in pension payments was checked by allowing new claims and increasing the average values of the pensions drawn or certain to be drawn, but the supply of eligibles was never increased by the various adjustments and reclassifications. The pension bills now pending In con gress at this session have been drawn on a different theory. One of them, which both houses have passed, does follow to some extent the precedent set by the McCumber act of last year by increasing the pensions allowed to wid ows and minor children of soldiers and sailors of the Civil, Mexican and In dian wars, from $8 to $12 a month. But it also admits to the pension list some 38,000 widows not previously eligible. The enactment of the widows' bill will entail an additional expenditure of $15,000,000 and will probably carry the government's annual outlay for pen sions in 1908-'09 or 1909-'10 beyond the record breaking total of 1892-93. Two other bills which apparently have no chance of passage, and which it would be decidedly Inopportune to pass now, alnr at creating entirely new classes of pensioners. The first provides for put ting all volunteer officers of the army. navy and marine corps on a retired list, with pay for each commensurate with the highest grade in which he served. This measure, it Is estimated, would If passed requires an extra outlay of about $11,000,000 a year. A logical com panion bill creates a retired list for all volunteer soldiers, sailors and marines, with a minimum compensation of $30 a month apiece. Such an enactment would involve an additional expendi ture of from $89,000,000 to $120,000,000 a year, bringing the total cost of pen sions a year to perhaps $280,000,000 Just double the expenditure of 1906-'07. It is evident that the government cannot afford to enlarge the pension list in this extravagant manner. It Is dealing with its pensioners in a spirit of great lib erality, and should not be expected to attempt experiments which would clearly overstrain its generosity, r JOURNAL ENTRIES An animal tamer and not a gover ness is needed for some children. When you get right down to bottom facts It is money that makes the auto mobile go. The man who was born rich and never was broke doesn't know whether he has any real friends or not. Fellows who pride themselves on be ing men of push do not seem overly anxious to exercise it on a baby car riage. - ' It's only the theoretical mothers who attend congresses. The practical ones with a family of six or more have to stay home to attend to them. J AY HAWKER JOTS Mr. Og of El Dorado now finds him self tied with Mr. Ek-of Marquette for the shortest name in the state. Olive Van Tuyl, a Leavenworth girl, aged 16, died of ptomaine pois oning after refreshing herself with a deviled ham sandwich. It is reported by the ever truthful Globe that an Atchison divorced man who is soon to be married has invit ed his first wife to the wedding. Wichita is certain that summer has arrived. Boys are running around in their bare feet and some are wearing straw hats. The arrival of houseflles is also noted. Chelsea, the oldest town in Butler county, is no longer on the map. The only stock of goods in the town will be moved away and the building will be occupied as a residence. A Leavenworth schoolboy who ob jected to being teased by his compan ions got the family gun and shot a few of them. A boy named Track well was seriously wounded. Parsons' claims to distinction on ac count of the possession of an opium den are quickly mowed down by Law rence, which remarks in an oft-hand way that she had two, a month ago. The school superintendent of Cow ley county being a lady, should have no hesitation in presenting her claims for another term. She can petition the men in leap year without - any impropriety. A Humboldt man recently conduct ed fourteen checker games at one time, at Iola, He won six and - lost eight, but the result is explained on the theory that there were many things In Iola to prevent his keeping his mind on the game. An ordinance to prevent illicit sales of liquor in drug stores was killed in the Wichita council Monday night by a vote of six to five. Wichita has re formed somewhat but the council men decided the ordinance in question was "carrying fanaticism to an ex treme." Hopeful item from the' South Hav en News: "One of our farmers told us this week that he had no fears of the green bug this year. He says no in sect was ever known to destroy a wheat crop two years in succession, and we don't know but what he Is abo'ut right." Frank Heuitt and Laura Mason ran away from S&lina and were married In Abilene. They proposed to live happy ever after. But the authori ties are butting In. They insinuate that some perjury was committed In stating the girl's age, and the young couple's honeymoon is apt to be a failure. GLOBE SIGHTS. From the Atchison Globe. Much of the good advice you hear is rank nonsense. Every man is a suicide: he has some habit that is shortening his life. A lazy man's ambition is nearly al ways directed toward some political graft. Being willing is not everything: it's the doing something to help that counts. The man who is popular with a great number of women, makes the poorest husband. No man always knows when he acting the fool, but he usually has a funny feeling in him that suggests. What has become of the old fash. ioned woman who - fed her family """i. .to tc 11113 iiiiio ui year; If a man Is honest enough to admit the truth about himself, that should be enough, without asking him to tell it. Some of the new spring styles in hats seem to have been derived from the working headgear of the lire de partment. Whenever Father is mentioned, the girls in the family wonder why Mother doesn't apologize for bringing him into the family. And sometimes she does. Before the oldest girl in the family has reached sixteen her father finds his crown tottering, and by the time she is eighteen he hasn't enough pow er left to order a favorite old picture left on the parlor wall. Nearly every boy worries a good deal for fear he will commit some depredation which will cause him to be fined. And if you were as hard up financially as the average boy, you might do some worrying for the same reason. We formerly welcomed the coming of spring, but we are afraid of it now, owing to the piano playing we hear as soon as door and windows are open for the summer. Ever occur to you how many nuisances there are In every neighborhood? And how helpless the people are! There is no enjoyment in imposing on others. You may think it a great pleasure for a while to receive favors from others, but the time will come when you will change your mind. It is equally true that there is no enjoy ment In being Imposed upon by others there is very little enjoymenl in any thing, as a matter of fact. KANSAS COMMENT A FOOLISH SPEECH. " ain.&.u UCUTQICU 1X1. 1.119 1CCC1U rcelebratlon of the anniversary of the mowing up or the battleship Maine In Havana harbor ten years ago. General Burt of the United States army stated that the reason the war spirit had de clined was because it did not pay to be a hero. He then cited the example of a young man who concluded, when war broke out, that he would stay at home and let some one else get an arm or a leg shot off, because all he - would get out of it would be a paltry pension. With due respect to the general, he made rather a bad break when he made that speech. Heroes are not men who figure on whether or not a move will pay them; they do not stop to count the probable return on the investment of courage. They are, rather, men who forget self completely when the need comes and risk their all for the sake of someone or something. The young man to whom the general referred in his speech was not the sort of which heroes are made. On the con trary he is one of the kind who have always remained at home. He is one of the kind that would desert and re enlist again to get a bounty, was there occasion for it. He is one of the kind that compelled this country to draft men at one time during the civil war. True, the army enlistments have been slow until recently, and various men have tried to explain it. The correct ness of their -explanations is neither here nor there, but It is not because of a decline in patriotism. Hundreds of thousands of young men would be re fused admission to the army on the slightest indication of physical weak ness should a war break out, and with the lines drawn as strictly as possible the government would have more men on hand in a month than it could equip for service in a year. It is remarkable that such a state ment should come from a general one who is old enough to know better and that his statement was untrue from his own personal experience. But his rea soning is as far from being right as K is possible for wrong to be. Salina Journal. THE RAILROAD TROUBLES. In the vear 1906. 10.000 people were killed and 100.000 injured on American railroads. This is an ap palling number. Loss of grip by the management, discipline unenrorcea, mistakes let slip unrectlfled all these amount to little until railroad men "wake uo out of the self-satisfied trance in which at present they seem ta h neacefullv slumbering." These are the words of a veteran railroad man, J. O. Fagan, in the second paper of a series, "Confessions of a Rail road Signalman," appearin in tne At lantic Monthv. It seems to be neces sary to hurt somebody or to smash ii r, a fpw rartnads of freisrht before any efforts can be exerted, according to the rules, to put a stop to tne neg ligence this is Mr. Fagan's thesis. These confessions are an important contribution to the literature which reforms by exposing from the inside. Emporia Gazette. NOT A TRUST BUSTING SUCCESS. The Staniiard Oil company nas paia its usual dividend again and after Kansas has been strangling1 tne octo tjus for over three solid years! Abi lene Reflector. ' Sometimes one Is Inclined to - give way to a doubt as to whether Kansas hxn am ffeMiv in, its trust rtrose- cutions as we would! - like to believe. Fire Insurance - seems still to be a reasonably profitable business In Tj-anoaa nnnniinfwmflnt has been made of any intention on the part of the Harvester trust or going out or business, and Standard oil is yet able to collect in . profits more than enough to pay its- - taxes Leaven worth Times. FROM OTHER PENS THE ATTACK ON CORTELYOU. It is a very narrow and unpatriotic partisanship that seeks to discredit the secretary of the treasury for his efforts to alleviate the recent panic. tv.a inA.ant riiatrftioa nf rtnnulistic agitators might be disregarded, though it is astonishing to near mem ecnoea by speakers and writers assuming to represent civilized communities, who must unrteratanri their falsitV. But when responsible men like some of the Democratic leaders in cuugrcoa men a3 Senator Culberson, for ex ample take this occasion to play imnn tn nid unreasoning DreJudlce against banks and the mischievous un friendliness of west and south against the east, sincere Americans can not protest too emphatically. secretary uorieiyuu iiu. ti rsnnrt of all the treasury operations during the currency crisis, which satisfies every candid mind that in - cufltinn nt nnrMillar difflcultv he acted with great discretion and with a m . tk iiHitnnKtAillll degree or success'' mm uiuuuuvi,j saved the country from overwhelming disaster. He was called on to admin ister a wholly artificial system, for which neither he nor any of his prede cessors in the department was re sponsible, under which vast amounts or actual currency aiiuiu,aicu " v. trAsnirv nt th verv time when it Is most needed in the business of the country. Though the government nas created the national banks and ex pects the country to employ them and Tri t iinea not trust them Itself. The government is the great . A M AlvMA ,V.AM Hoarder or money, -n-i ic there Is a great and urgent demand for currency everywhere, it becomes the Instant duty of the secretary to get into circulation Just as much of his superfluous hoard as he lawfully and securely can. - If Mr. Cortelyou. with . the best attainable advice, ex ercised all the discretion that the stat utes left to him if even he strained the statutes, which is by no means established he but showed his ca pacity to meet a great responsibility. Philadelphia Ledger. HUMANE SHIPMENT OF CATTLE. The treatment of livestock by the railroads has long been a matter of concern to the humane societies. These creatures, destined for the . slaughter houses, are on a miserable Journey at best, but there is a large prudential reason for delivering them at the abattoir in as good condition as pos sible. On the ground of human wel fare alone it has been found that ex posure, fatigue and hunger causes the quality of the flesh to deteriorate. No doubt great difficulties beset the railroads in. an attempt to get their stock trains through in accordance with the regulations. They are for bidden to transport cattle more than 28 hours at a stretch, and five-hour rests at the end of each period are compulsory. This,' of course, involves labor and Inconvenience, but these were bargained for when the shipment was undertaken. If a company pro poses to transport livestock it may also agree to transport the creatures hu manely. A 28-hour trip means hun ger, thirst, weariness and, in almost all weather, exposure. Boston Transcript. JOT DISTURBED. ' A good cigar an easy chair, t Ai.bo,.kto read an then should be happy everywhere There s Joy supreme, for men! BSwhen 1 s"et a good cigar. Bit in my easy chair - And take my book, they yeU for Pa, And I must climb the stair. Or else the wife has' chores for me, ' " The furnace may be low; Or something I am called to see, A drain pipe may not flow. ,S- I never yet have had my book. Cigar or easy chair But what I have been called to look Atj some disturbance there. Some men there are who smoke and read Ail undisturbed and still; B"t they're unmarried men. Indeed. Or else their wives are ill. Detroit Free Press. The Country's Wheat Consumption. In 1902 the growers of the United States had 52,000,000 acres planted J". "5; Tha acreage in 1907 was ".000,000, and statistics fall to show that the newer wheat countries have made up the loss. There has been a constant decrease In the acreage devoted to wheat in all of the eastern and lake states for the last ten years. In the Missouri valley states there has been an increase of nearly 60 percent in the wheat growing area since 1880, while In Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana and Illinois, states that were once heavy producers of wheat, the land has been turned to other pur poses, leaving the total wheat area, which is now confined almost exclu sively to the Missouri valley states, but little larger than it was twenty five years ago. Experts estimate that the popula tion of the United States will be at least 130,000,000 In 1930, by which time this country will require for home consumption every bushel of wheat raised, unless there is a mark ed and unexpected expansion of the wheat area of the nation or produc tion of wheat substitutes. It is es timated that such population would demand for home needs a wheat crop of at least 700,000,000 bushels, or an increase of about 20 per cent over the crop of 1907. The food supply Is, therefore, likely to touch this country more nearly In the immediate future than people generally realize. Oma ha Bee. The Delectable Sinking Room. A Persian diplomat, seated on the white beach at Ormond. fanned his moist brow with a Panama. "The February sun is hot," he said. "It recalls faintly to me the heat of Persia. But you have no need of sink ing rooms here." "Sinking rooms?" said the girl in white. "I've heard of -sinking funds, but " "You use them In Persia if you're rich enough in the great heats," he in terposed. "They're rooms of glass that sink down into the vitreous blue depths of Lake Nlrls. Nirls, the most beautiful of Persian lakes, is almost crowded with sinking rooms during the hot weather. "They're very pleasant. You furnish them sumptuously rugs and pale silk hangings, ivory carvings and mother-o'-pearl and you take down with you singing girls and dancing girls, and girls to serve the sherbet and to fill the hookahs." He sighed. "All this," he said, "Is very pleasant, but I would gladly exchange the glare of this hot sun, the smell and dust and roar of these high-powered motor care, for Lake Nirls' cool depths, the vitreous blue light, and the clear laughter of the Circassian serving girls." Phila delphia Bulletin. Telling the Fortunes of Monkeys. Monkey palmistry is a profession essayed by Dr. Walter Kidd. the zool ogist of London. He finds remark able specific variations displayed by the fine raised lines In the tactile sur faces of the hands and feet of apes, monkeys and lemurs. The extreme complexity of type presented in this respect, by the lemurs is especially notable. The ridges in the palm at tain their full and typical develop ment only In men, apes, monkeys, and lemurs, but the degree of special ization does not by any means ac cord with the relative grade of these animals in the zoological scale. The simple pattern is characterization of the higher forms, and the complex pattern is characteristic of the lower forms. The complex ridges of the lemur Dr. Kidd associates with this animal's need for facility In main taining the bodily equilibrium in creatures of purely nocturnal habits. Therefore, the ridges are specially de veloped for helping to do this. Chi cago Tribune. Son Gave Mr. Taft Stage Fright. Robert Alphonso Taft, son of Secre tary Taft, heard his father speak in public for the first time last night in Music hall here. Young Mr. Taft Is a sophomore in Yale, and he went to the banquet of the Young Men's Republican club at the Invitation of a member. When Secretary Taft rose to speak he caught his son's gaze aa the young man proudly but anxiously watched and listened. Secretary Taft said af terward to a friend: "It was the first time the boy had heard me make a speech. He looked so fearful that his father might break down that for a few moments I was quite embarrassed by his glances." New Haven dispatch to New York Herald. Mr, Shaw's Little Joke. The president's affection for mem bers of the old Rough Rider regiment and the preference he has shown them in making federal appointments have been the basis for many a Joke. Leslie M. Shaw, while secretary of the treas ury, went to a cabinet meeting with a newspaper in his hand, and, while the president was waiting for one or two tardy members, Shaw read the paper. He came across a headline that read: "Rough Rider Incarcerated-" "Here, Mr. President," he said, "what do you think of this? -I read here that a Rough Rider has been put in Jail." "Oh," the president replied, "those were rough fellows, and from time to time one of them falls from grace." "I know," said Secretary Shaw, "but doesn't this leave a vacancy somewhere In the government service?" Chicago Post. French Affected Hex Health. The principal of a girls' school has received from the mother of one pupil a novel reason for wishing her daugh ter excused from French conversation during meals. The excuse was accom panied by a doctor's certificate to the effect that the mental efTort of con centrating her thoughts on French exercises while eating interfered with the proper function of the young lady's digestive organs, and if per sisted in was bound eventually to im pair her health. As yet the other pupils have not learned the cause of their classmate's exemption from French chatter at the table. If they do find oit it Is feared that doctors certificates will become epidemic. New York Prass. . - ' THE EVENING STORY . A Girl In Politics. . '" , (By Lester Grey.) If the Hon. Tom Paxton had- been making out a schedule of his personal property, a portion of it would have read as follows: . "Sole owner and proprietor of the Fourth Congressional district, "Sole owner of one spinster sister, ter "le OWner of one cnarming daugh- The honorable Tom secured posses sion of the Fourth district during a brain-storm of reform, and he imme diately started In to make it a life Job. At the date of this record he was serv ing the last weeks of his fourth term and laying his wires for a fifth. He was keeping an eye on the interests of the country and neglecting few oppor tunities to advance "the cause," when he received a letter that started him off for home. He arrived there to face his sister and daughter and demand to know what it was all about. Fate may have nothing to do with a kettle of hot soft soap boiling over and blistering the feet of a farmer's wife, but everybody knows that it has all to do with love. If Arthur Clayton hadn't graduated in law and been in Lexington one day to see what the chances were of hanging out his shingle, and if Jen nie Paxton hadn't been acting as chauffeur of her own auto, the young man and the auto would not have col lided on the street. - He was taken to a hotel to get the better of the shock and the cuts and bruises, and the conscience-stricken gir! sent him flowers and messages of re gret. Had she had the business in stincts of her father, she would have sent him a five-dollar bill instead and told him to sue for the balance. The spinster aunt saw romance, admiration and love mixed up with the accident, and after the, victim was able to limp out and had made a call, she wrote to her brother than the danger signal was out. This letter brought him home as he was In the midst of a nice little deal, the particulars of which would never find their way into the "Congressional Record." The Hon. Thomas came home t smash things. He was no orator. He had never yet even moved that the house do now adjourn. He did fairly well, though, on this his maiden effort. He said he would be hanged and be durned and be blowed If he would have It so. He would burst the aspirations of that gander-shanked lawyer In a day. He would lock his daughter down cellar or upstairs, and if she dug her wav out with an old caseknlfe and married Clayton, she and her thirteen wailins children might freeze and thaw and starve for all of him. Then he wound ud his oratory with: "Drop itl Drop it right now! There's Tinthlner in love, but there's a heap in politics. Tve brought home a gripful of my private papers, ana i warn, you to overhaul and classify them. A poli tician's daughter should know some thing about politics." Jennie was silenced, and therefore the father took it that she was con vinced and cowed. The Hon- Tom was deceived. He knew men, but he didn't know girls. If he had he would have realized that tney are tne moat un.u rnna when thev cease to argue and protest. Not that his daughter could have told him, had she been ever so frank, that she was really in love with tha briefless vounsr lawyer who- had been knocked into the gutter by her auto, but she might have nintea mat Fate had a great deal to do with such things, and that she snouia aDiae Dy Pat Having smashed things to his own satisfaction, the sole owner or ino Fourth Congressional district went back to the capital and his deals, while his daughter sat down in the library to overhaul the papers, and things ran on peacefully. Not that there were no more meetings, but the spinster aunt did not know of them. Not that ro mance and Fate fell down, but Jennie did not do any talking in her sleep and played the artful dodger when leading questions were asueo. The Hon Tom had packed up the papers in a hurry, and had put In what ever came to hand first, and some of them made very interesting reading. The day after the last one had been read and classified under the head of "Danger! Look out for the Locomo tive1" the young lady and the young man went for a ride In the vehicle that had played Fate with him. At a proper moment he asked a ques tion that greatly concerned the future of both and at another proper moment siae blushed and said "yes." Then she proceeded to tell him that her fathel would see her in her grave before con senting to the match, and she held up such a vision of paternal wrath and obduracy that he dropped back from the seventh heaven to the first. Then he was taken Into partnership as a con spirator and lifted back again.and there was much rejoicing during the remain der of the ride. A few days later the Hon. Tom ar rived home to tinker up his political fences and lay his ear to the ground. He had about concluded to bestow the hand of his daughter on a member of the house who was serving his first term and stealing government lands In the west at the rate of 5.000 acres a week. He was no monopolist and was willing to help the Hon. Tom to go and do likewise. "Oh. daddy, but you'll be surprised to learn how much I know about politics!" announced the demure daughter after receiving the fatherly kiss. "I haven't been studying three months yet, and still I kjiow almost as much as you do about them." The father grunted his approbation, and said he would see her in the library that evening. When the hour arrived he suddenly remembered the event of three months previous, and in a benev olent and Jocular manner he asked what had become of the milksop of a lawyer that had been hanging around after her when he was home last. , . "You mean Mr. Clayton," she re plied. "It was about him that I wanted to speak to you. He will be here to morrow night to ask your consent to our marriage. "The devil he will!" ' "We dearly love each other, and I'm sure you will consent. He comes of a fine family and is going to work hard and do his best to get to the top." "Drop it!" said the honorable with a wave of his hand. ... ' "But you won't be so cruel, daddy. I have been engaged to him for almost three weeks now, and It will break my heart if you oppose me." "Cut it out. I thought you wanted to talk politics with me." , . "So I do, daddy, dear. I have looked over and classified all those papers and learned all about politics. I think I could run a campaign now with Mr. Clayton's assistance. You must know he is quite an orator. You have prob ably heard that Mr. Fllllngton is going to be your opponent this time, and Mr. Clayton may take the stump for him V The Hon. Tom grunted. , Mr. Fllllng ton was a strong man. -You know, daddy!" continued the daughter, "those tetters from the two railroads asking you to use your In fluence to kill certain bills would b ammunition if they fell into the hands of the enemy. And you seem to have done something for a certain trust for which they write you that yoq will And stock inclosed, and you appear to have acquired 50,000 acres of government land la a rather mysterious manner. There's a letter about It calling It the land whack.' Is 'whack' something like 'ad dition, division and silencer . J.ne Hon. Tom .v hitched uneasily on his chair and grunted some more. "Then I found shares in three or four corporations an agreement, about mine a copy of a ltter from you stat ing that a certain bill would be killed in committee, and various other Inter- ' estlng things. I couldn't iImd niihti If I thought that Mr. FUlington might g noia or tnis evidence of your loy alty to your party and country." "Humph!" erunted the Hon. "Tom as several flies that had been bussing arouna tne room suddenly lit on him. "And one thin? more, daddv. This Is In strict confidence. The editor of the Argus is on the snoop. He says you are with the coal roads and down on all investigations,.and that you've mads -a million dollars In your four terms. You see. daddy. If he should get hold " , "What do yer want?" interrnnte the father as he brushed at the files. "Why. we want your consent. I think that will keep Mr. Clayton off tne stump, j. think it wIlL" . "What else?" "And then I think you might draw me a check for at least $5,000. It was worth that to learn the game of poli tics. You can fix It. can't you. so that it will come out of what they call the -yeiiow oog- runrt?'" "Darned if I don't!" replied the hon- orable, as he drew his checkbook tow-' ard him. He owned the " Fourth con gressional district, but he knew . when he was a licked man. - "And about politics?" asked Jennie when she had received her check. "Shall I study them any more?" "GmKI I used to think that If tha question of woman's rights came up In, the house I'd vote in the affirmative but now I'll be hanged If I dol" And then he smiled grimly and put on his hat and went out to make all necessary arrangements to bury the ambitious Mr. Fllllngton so deep that the seventh generation of American patriots couldn't find his political skel-' eton. (Copyrighted, 1908, by the Asso ciated Literary Press.) HUMOR OF THE DAY "Mrs. Rollins has the most accommo dating husband I know." "What has he done now?" "Why, you know she was growing very stout, and he took to drink Just to worry her thin." St. Louis Post-Dispatch. - "I really believe you married m simply because I have money," said the heiress, who was as stingy as she was plain. "No," replied her husband, candidly, "I married you because I thought you'd let me have some of it." Pick-Me-TJp. "Pardon me, sir," began the portly per son In the railroad train to the man who sat next to him. "but what would you say if I sat on your hat?" "Suppose you sit on it and then ask me," suggested the other. "I did.'' admitted the portly person. Harper's Weekly. City Nephew well, uncle, did you have a aood year? Farmer Did I? Gosh. yes. I had four cows and three hogs killed by railroad trains an' two hogs and nine chickens killed by autermoblles. I cleared nigh a thousand dollars on them. Bohemian. "Don't you think he has a kind facer V "Yes, but-what kind?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. "An actor should be devoted to his art, should he not?" "Yes," answered Mr. Stormington Barnes, "he should be. But too many of us are prone to regard tha practice of our profession merely as a series of dis agreeable interruptions to a pinochle game." Washington Star. QUAKER REFLECTIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. Burying the hatchet often means war to the knife. , The better we know people the less politeness we waste on them. Never try to make a man feel at home if you know him to be hen pecked. ' The woman with one child has more theories concerning children than tha mother of ten. Some people are not satisfied to kilt two birds with one stone, but ther want the stone back. Miss Gotrox "He's a man after my own heart." Miss Caustique "Are you sure he isn't after your money Instead ?" - Hoax "You used to work in tha postofflce, didn't you?" Joax "Yea, that's my old stamping ground. --; .... Mrs. Bugginsi "I got this ball gown at a ridiculous bargain; it was one third off." Mr. Buggins "One-third off the top, I suppose." Nell "Maude is awfully disagree- able; she can sing and won't," Relle -"She's not half so disagreeable as the girls who can't sing and will." "Where there's smoke there must be fire," quoted the Wise Guy. "It'sr hard to believe that when you are try ing to light the furnace fire," added the Simple Mug. , POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. A rolling stone beats two in thai bush. -, The polished speaker can't always see his finish. - A man may be dead easy all his life and yet die hard. When a judge lays down the law ha doesn't necessarily resign. : The rolling mill gathers no moss unless there is a strike on. If there were no fools in the world lawyers would die of starvation. If the toothache doesn't worry a man it's because , some other fellow has it. But the neighbors of a self-satisfied man are not always satisfied with him. How many men. do you know who let their religion Interfere with their business ? mam cvdi comes nauway up to the expectations his mother had or It's remarkable how easllv . a .i'-i can adjust herself to circumstances. She can be fond of almost any younr man whfin ti ora am n 1-1 nfh - US "- " " w vouna. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHBTAn From the New York Presa w n An A vnfln la n .irn. fAnl.j w it's because he simply isn't worth ItT a woman oan uxe most any novel if ik wiuuu v unvpeuea in real life A good thing about money is ty,m temptations you escape by not bni lng- It. The more vanity a man has and th less self-respect, the better his chance to get along In politics. BC If a girl won't forgive you for kiss, lng her against her will It's becaua you don't know how to do it ":l-u A