The Topeka state journal. [volume], April 08, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
THE TOPEEA DAILY JOTOITAIUEBITZCDA LTTZIUZZ; C, 1ZZZ.
ICPELV STiTE JOUIML.
By FRANK P. MAC LKXNAN.
Entered July 1, 1875, as second-class
matter at the postoffice at Topeka, Kaa
under the act of congresa.1
VOLUME XXXV.
.No. 85
Official State Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
' Daily edition, delivered by carrier. 10
eents a week to any part of Topeka. or
suburbs, or at the lame price in any Kan
a towns where the paper has a carrier
system.
By mall, one year 3"S
By mail, three months
Saturday edition of daily, one year... i.w
TELEPHONES.
Business Office
Business Office
Reporters' Room
,..3n vn
..Ind. 107
..Bell BTt
;..lnd.
Reporters' Room
Frank P. MacLennan Ind-
PERMANENT HOME.
Topeka State Journal building, JO and
02 Kansas avenue, corner of Elrntn.
New Tork Office: Flatiron building;, at
Twenty-third street, corner Fifth aveaue
and Broadway. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago Office: Hartford building, raw
Block, manager.
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
The State Journal is a member o? the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that grsat news or
ganisation for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka,
The news is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur
pose. Experts announce that the time to
fight the dandelions has arrived. So
let everybody who has an Interest in
a lawn get busy digging up these pes
tiferous weeds.
' It'is the opinion of some folks that
If the United States supreme court
had had the opportunity it probably
would have declared unconstitutional
Newton's law of gravitation..
" Members of the board of education
are to be congratulated for the prog
ress they are making in. adopting
plans to make the school buildings
f the city as safe as possible.
Nearly 33,000 babies were born in
New . Tork city during the past three
months. And as these children grow
up a great may of them of course,
wiil come west where there is plenty
of room for them.
. In the contemplation of the govern
ment ownership of railroads it is
rather harrowing to think how some
of the conductors would act with the
whole army and navy of the United
States behind them.
Lawrence ministers are not the only
Individuals to find the Merry Widow
hats to be abominations, but it must
be confessed that they have been the
first to be brave enough to express
their opinions to this effect. - -
Congressman Hobson declares that
If the government does not build up
an immense navy it will ultimately
have a war with the yellow races. But
just because Mr. Hobson has an idea
of this sort that does not. make it a
certainty. 1
. Vegetarian enthusiasts are in a
happy mood these days. They see the
probabilities of great Increases in
their ranks. But' these increases will
come perforce, as the prices for meat
have jumped to such figures that it
Is now a real luxury.
That operation In Chicago where
some surgeons took out a man's heart.
put three stitches in a wound in it
and then replaced It, suggests the
thought that there are many fractur
ed and wounded hearts which are
not susceptible to surgical operations.
Mrs. Evelyn Nesblt Thaw, who has
finally filed a suit for the annulment
of her marriage to the notorious Har
ry, on the ground that he was insane
at the time it was consummated, Is
about to sail for Europe. Few people
in this country wfll care if she never
comes back.
If there is one real optimist In this
country it is William Jennings Bryan,
He declared at Denver the other day
that the Democratic party , will enter
the campaign with the utmost con
fidence. It is evident that he has not
been talking this matter over with cer
tain of the big Democrats in the east.
Now is the time for' everybody to
make arrangements to plant some
tree or shrub on Arbor day which
falls on April 10. Nearly everyone in
the city has a yard or lawn of some
sort and the planting of a tree or
shrub or some sort at least once a
year will transform the city Into a
garden spot within a decade. It's a
beautiful city now but it can be made
more so.
Think of growing potatoes and
corn on land that is worth a million
dollars an acre. That's what they
are going to do in New Tork city,
The soil of Central Park, the great
pleasure ground in the heart of the
metropolis, needs rejuvenation. It
would cost two or three million dol
lara to re-soil it so the park commis
sioners are going to rejuvenate it by
growing potatoes and corn on it for
two or three seasons.
It has been decided by the mem
bers of Germany's reichstag that after
twenty years no other language but
German shall be used in all public
meetings in every part of the empire
This, of course, includes the reichstag.
It might be . well for our national
legislature to limit its members to
the use of one language. Two are
now used, the polite and the Impolite.
The latter seems to be the prevailing
one these days in the house of repre
s-entatives, and should be placed un-
der the ban.
Nelson W. Aldrich, who has been
boss of the United States senate for a
dozen years, is making arrangements
to retire) from publlo life at the ex
piration; of hi present term In March,
1911. It Is said that the reason he is
going to quit is because he is ' fast
losing; his grip on the senate and his
ire - has been aroused by the clamor
of "young blood" to smash the cus
toms of the august body. . It's about
time that a good many of these cus
toms were smashed.
MUNICIPAL VICTORY.
Topeka . intends to light its own
streets. The people have decided by
a decisive vote to enlarge their
lighting plant and not - entrust the
important duty of illuminating the
city to a corporation for profit.
The assault on the system which
Topeka adopted twenty years ago was
a bitter one. The Edison company
gave the people to understand that
municipal lighting had been a failure,
not only In Topeka but in every city
where it has been tried; they .at
tempted by an array of figures which
were not borne out by analysis to
prove their position; they enlisted the
officers of the Commercial club In
their behalf and in a packed meeting
pledged the Commercial .interests of
the city to their cause; they attempted
by injudicious and misleading adver
tising In a newspaper favorable to
their interests to force the voters to be
lieve that the business men and tax
payers of Topeka were in favor of
dismantling the city light plant and
farming out the contract for lights to
the Edison company.
In the face of all these Influences
the- people have decided by an over
whelming majority in every precinct
that they prefer to continue to do the
street lighting and that they are fully
able to attend to their own business
without the assistance or intervention
of any private corporation. They
have reaffirmed their belief in the
municipal ownership of public utili
ties in no uncertain tones.
The State Journal has done what
it could to enlighten the people on
this important municipal question
with no j feeling of rancor or bitter
ness. It was satisfied that the city
has been saved thousands of dollars
by doing Its own lighting during the
past twenty years and could find no
good reason why the plant should be
wrecked, the contract . given to the
Edison company or any other private
corporation. Topeka has good reason
to be proud of the record made by
the light plant and it surely would
have been poor policy from a busi
ness or any other standpoint to dis
card the system which has done such
noble service to the municipality and
adopt one which at best would not
be an Improvement over what the
city now possesses and will extend
and improve.
If Topeka had failed yesterday to
sustain its city lighting plant and de-
clined to improve and extend it, the
action would have been heralded over
this entire country as "another
municipal light failure" and there
would have been great joy In the House
of the Lighting Corporations whose
chances for profit are reduced and for
franchises withheld.
The vote is a remarkable compliment
to the council for Its wisdom In put
ting its lighting system into the hands
of a commission; to the mayor for his
fine choice and excellent judgment in
the commissioners named and to the
commission Itself in whom the voters
have so overwhelmingly , voiced their
confidence that they will do the right
thing, put the plant up to date and
spend wisely only so much of money
as is necessary.
The people are to be congratulated
on this splendid victory for municipal
lighting.
Charles G. Blakely's rather enor
mous plurality of more than seven
hundred in his contest for council
man from the Third ward, is a fitting
testimonial to his worth as a public
servant. He not only has the conn
dence of the voters of his home ward
but also of the people of the, whole
city.
Prophesying Is an uncertain busi
ness at its best and an equally un
satisfactory one, but it is safe to
say that there are two men in Topeka
who are not satisfied with the way
the election turned out: C. K. Holli
day and E. Montgomery,
Even though the election has
changed the personnel of the city
council in a couple of instances, the
people can rest assured that the ad
ministration of the affairs of the city
will be conducted in the same care
ful and excellent manner that they
have been during the past year, or
so.
It would appear that C. K. Holli'
day's embryonic boom for mayor has
received something of a serious punc
ture. "I'd . rather be councilman from
the Second ward of Topeka than king
of England," has been a favorite ex
pression with C. K. Holliday and he
woke up this morning to find that he
was neither.
There is no doubt that it pays to
advertise, but It is always a good
plan to be careful in the selection of
the advertising medium and the pre
paration of the copy. For particulars
Inquire of Topeka Edison company,
736 Kansas avenue.
Topekans have a well known
reputation for being business people
of intelligence. And they demon
strated conclusively that this reputa-
tlon Is a deserved one by their vote
on the proposition to issue the
requisite bonds for the adequate re
newal, extension and improvement of
the municipal electric light plant.
The Edison street lamps on' Kansas
avenue had an unusually pale and
sickly appearance last evening when
the returns came in and the municipal
lights on the other streets displayed
a marked brilliancy. The former
blinked; the later winked.
The humor of the situation was
heightened yesterday morning by the
receipt by the mayor of the certified
action of the Commercial club indicat
ing its readiness to contract with the
Edison company.' 2 to 8, for ten years
street lighting for $50 if the city would
loan Its polesand wires. Now what
will the council do with that; frame it
or forget it? - , - . : .
The city lights still burn and munlc
pal lighting in Topeka Is .not a fail
ure. - . . . -i
. : . :- ;
City vote: 4,617 for, 1,959 against.
Commercial club, S for, 29 against.
. The lady, beautiful Topeka, was not
swallowed by the Edison tiger. .
The council lost one grocer and cap
tured another.
The lively Second exchanges a boom
er for a barber. It was a close shave
for one and a collapse for the other.
But Charley Holliday will still be found
working for the pride of his heart, his
native Topeka. There is lots of good
work to be done outside the breast
works.
It was a good humored and fairly
clean campaign.
The contest In several wards was
ideal no bad blood, no vituperation
a political fight between good men.
The "cards were stacked" at a Com
mercial club meeting, but the people
saw that there was a "square deal"
yesterday and the game played fairly.
The council will meet Friday as a re
turning board and will meet again
Monday for business .- with the same
energetic mayor and the ' same work-lng-for-Topeka
council, except ' there
will be two new workers added to the
old force of ten experienced hands.
And now," as Charley . Holliday
used to say, and will continue to say,
and as the Commercial club will con
tinue to repeat and reiterate "for ,
Greater Topeka."
Superintendent Albert Pat ton and
Secretary F. G. Kelly, who were at the
State Journal office last evening listen
ing to the doleful returns on the light
bonds, finally grasped the real situa
tion and said: "This is not our fu
neral. We are connected with the To
peka Railway - company and have
nothing to do with the Edison Light
company." .
Detroit, which has a wonderful and
complete municipal lighting plant, was
interested in our election yesterday.
The State Journal received early this
morning this telegram from the De
troit News: "Did Topeka? accept or
reject Edison offer?" This reply was
wired: "Topeka overwhelmingly re
jected the Edison offer, every precinct
in the city voting to sustain the mu
nicipal plant by voting bonds to renew,
enlarge and extend it. Vote stood
4,617 to 1,959.
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Something to worry about seems to
be the universal desire. -r
'- --
A woman may like to have the last
word but she is mighty reluctant
ftDout reaching it.
.....
Women ought to be glad over the
tact that no man ever thoroughly un
derstood one of them.
A genius is generally a man, who,
..
as a boy, the neighbors said would
never amount to anything.
The people who take things as they
come are the ones who most hate to
part with them as they go.
JAYHAWKER JOTS
County Treasurer A. L. Cable, who
is suffering from rheumatism, denies
that he will ask Congressman Miller
to secure him a special pension.
Madison Spirit.
Twenty-nine men have enlisted in
the army from Parsons and the
Wichita Eagle notes that a. man is
willing to do almost anything to get
away zrom Jf arsons.
In the forthcoming crop report Sec
retary Coburn will also have the
pleasure of announcing that Thomas
Corn Is a candidate for clerk of the
court in Linn county.
Everything is bo harmonious be
tween the town people and the far
mers at Pleasanton that the Commer
cial club has agreed to hold Its meet'
ings only on moonlight nights so the
iarmers can attend.
The Havensvllle Review leaves its
readers to guess what the cemetery
really does look like now. It says:
Pursuant to call-over forty men and
several woman and boys met at the
cemetery last Friday, and through
their efforts the cemetery does . not
look the same place.
This old story has been revived by
the Kansas newspapers: "Bill Jones;
a country storekeeper In the short
grass district, went to Kansas City
last week to buy a stock of goods.
The goods were shipped immediately
and reached home before he did.
When the boxes were delivered at his
store by .the drayman, his wife hap
pened to look at the largest; she ut
tered a loud cry ana called for a
hammer. A neighbor, hearing the
screams, rushed to ner assistance,
asking the cause of the trouble. - The
wife, pale and faint,- pointed to an
inscription on the box which read as
follows: '8111 inside.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.l
No man Is a knave or a fool until he
is found out. -
The man who can talk to himself
while shaving doesn't miss the barber.
The egotist Is fond of capita: I's, bu
he can't always capitalize them.
The easiest people to flatter are those
who flatter themselves that they can't
be flattered. :
Many a girl who has been told that
she was worth her weight in gold gets
terribly thin after she has married.
"All's fair in love and war," quoted
the wise Guy. "Tea," agreed the Sim
ple Mug, "especially smokeless- pow
der."
Hoax "I see the pure food people are
after the honey-maKers." Joax "Ah,
I see. A case or to bee or not to bee.
Blobbs-"Closeflst says he believes in
taking things as they come." Slobbs
"Yes, but he bates to part with them
as they go. .
J
KANSAS COmiElTT
- DONT BE A LOAFER.
The death of James Kane,' the boy
desperado, in Chicago, at the hands
or a policeman the other night, is not
particularly important In itself, as he
is probably better dead; better- for
himself, and society at large. But it
may serve to illustrate the utter folly
of a criminal Hfe, to other boys who
may, from one reason or another, be
inclined to follow a worthless career.
Three robberies In a single night was
his latest exploit, and anyone of them
would have meant a long term in
vl afa,U had he Uved- Instead; he was
shot like a pig by a policeman. Not
a very cheerful ending, but perhaps as
KOOd ,oS the alternative. And he was
only 18. Just the age when a boy has
about everything before him, and a
good opportunity in this country to
work it out to suit himself if he will
only observe a few simple rules of
good behavior, and honesty, and In
dustry, and perseverance. It is so easy
for a boy to drift off on the wrong
course; so easy to choose the wrong
habits and wrong associates, with the
idea that he Is young, and must sow
his wild oats. It. isn't a long leap
from carousing to something worse; to
trying to gain money by dishonest and
disreputable means. And when that
stage of the story is reached, it Is easy
to- write the finishing chapter. The
scene lies in courts, and prisons, and
cheap lodging houses, and is illustrated
with views from the rogue's gallery.
Not a very pretty story, to be sure, but
as realistic as It Is common. But while
we said this course is easy at the
start, and the ending hard, let us add
that the opposite course is still easier
to begin, and grows better with years.
Thousands of successful men will tell
you this; men who used to be boys,
with no capital but their health, and
strength, and youth. Those are enough,
and when properly, directed, the end
of their possibilities has never been
written. Whatever boyB do, they should
aim to make it worth while. And doing
nothing is never worth while. Don't
be a loafer; the end is criminal, even
if you succeed in dodging the vagrancy
charge ,in the . beginning. Atchison
Globe. ... .
SIMPLICITY.
The use of big words is not an evi
dence of greatness: on the contrary.
it is an evidence of weakness, and a
positive detriment ' to a writer or
speaker. Carlyle was a great man
and a learned man! but Other men of
his class have much more populari
ty, because of simplicity in the use
of words. Macaulay Is read every
where, and Immensely popular,
though It Is possible his Ideas are no
better than Carlyle' s, and his learning
no greater, but he certainly has more
fame than Carlyle, and twenty reaa-
ers to Carlyle's One. There is but one
explanation: Macau lay's style is so
simple and easy that it Is restful to
read him, while reading Carlyle gives
one a headache. 1 " The matter of Ma
caulay's "England" Is almost tiresome
at times, but It is written In such a
delightful way that very few sets of
books have had an equally large sale.
People who have' never read Macau
lay's essays have a delightful treat in
store for them: those who have not
read Carlyle, have a headache ahead
of them. Atchison . Globe.
A SERIOUS SITUATION.
The beginnings, of a new war scare
are clearly visible. In a popular
magazine for the current month an
army officer proves how - easily a
strong European military power could
land 200,000 soldiers on our Atlantic
coast and capture New Tork within
a few weeks alter tne outbreak oi
war. Another army officer, writing In
the New Tork Times, circulates the
startling information that Japan could
land an army of two divisions on our
Pacific eoast in 85 days. It follows
that if Germany and Japan could join
forces and strike together, in three
months even Chicago would capitu
late. :
The fact that the United States to
day is the second.: naval power in the
world does not seem, to count In this
situation. - The learned . writer in the
popular magazine; informs us that the
German imperial staff nas worked out
iia a war problem the landing of 250,-
006 soldiers on our Atlantic eoast m zo
days, even with the . United States
navy In North Atlantic waters. -The
able expert who illuminates tne col
umns of the New York Times also a p
pears to assume that Japan's possible
exploit of landing ' two divisions
somewhere between Seattle and San
Diego in 25 days would be made good
In spite of that part of the Ameri
can fleet stationed! In the Pacific. We
are, in short, as utterly and wretched
ly defenseless as we were before the
new navy was built.
Whether the rising commotion con
cerning our national defenses Is part
of the campaign In congress over the
two or four battleship issue is a ques
tion not to be decided offhand. Nor
would we make a jest of so solemn a
theme. With a German army within
20 days of New York ana Washing
ton and a Japanese . army within 25
days of San Francisco, the moment
is not one for ill considered trifling,
Will Captain Hobson kindly lead in
prayer? Springfield Republican,
EDUCATING" OUR CONSULS.
Germany and France . have led the
world In special courses of instruc
tion for those who are to represent
them abroad In the diplomatic and
consular fields. There are gratifying
signs that the United States wilt soon
equal, if not surpass, . either or both
of them. There are now 53 students
In the school of diplomacy at George
Washington university, in the nation
al capital. - About one-half of them
are graduates of other colleges and
universities, and several are foreign
ers. Some are preparing for appoint
ment to the diplomatic corps, and
others are preparing for commercial
careers in1 connection with our for
eign trade. - - . i
Other American universities are
starting similar courses. Professor
Fiske, of the University of Illinois, Is
the author of the only American text
book on "International Commercial
Policies," and was formerly secretary
He has organized a four-year consu
lar course In our state university,
There are similar courses In the Unl
versity - of Chicago, University of
Pennsylvania, Notre Dame university,
University of Wisconsin and the unl
versitlee of Kansas, Nebraska and
Minnesota. The entrance of the Unit
ed States Into world politics, was sig
nalized by new Impulses toward for
eign commerce. American consuls,
the world ever; keep their fingers on
the commercial pulse. They need an
equipment for their work in highly
specialized technical Drancnes or know
ledge.- The universities are merely
responsible to a new call, and an lm-
oortant oat. Chicago Journal.
FROX OTHER PENS
HIS FATHER'S PIPE.
Last night when pa an' ma went out
I sneaked Into the den
An' got pa's pipe an' had a smoke
Jus' like the grown up men.
I got his 'baccy jar an' filled
The bowl an" struck a. light:
An' puffed away Just like my pa.
x waa crave au rigni.
Jus' blew clouds of smoke about.
An' then T rntkAm rino.
An' then I understood ius' why
A pipe such comfort brings.
Gee! 1 had a bully time.
Excep' that something made me sick
auav 4. ilflU UOU tSKL-
I guess I must have eat too much
"Of apple pie an cheese; -v
Cos while I sat a-smokln' there,
I sorter felt my knees
Begin to shake, an then the things
Went round an' round an' round;
The ceilin' got loose from the walls -
An rested on the ground. .
The mantel shelf jes' danced a jig.
a no suia was a-swing;
tried to lie down there a while,
But nntllHn'r f otfh ,k. ,hlnv
An' then mr head beean to swim. '
My eyes they both got blurred;
tried to call our hired girl, :
But couldn't say a word.
An' so I lay noon the floor.
Which rocked Jus' like a boat;
I felt like I was burning up.
My tongue stuck in my throat.
I never was so sick before,
I can't explain jus' why
I got that way, unless, of course,
i was taa.1 apple pie.
My ma came home an' found me there,
As sick as I could bet
She saw the pipe upon the floor.
An so sne saia to me:
"Tou've smoked your father's pipe, you
nave.
It's made vou aick. I'm arlnd "
She wouldn't b'leve me when I said
it was the pie we had.
Detroit Free Press.
Birthdays of Presidents.
The question as to what honor was
due the president of the United States
on his birthday gave some concern to
those citizens who were becoming in
tensely democratic under the influence
of Jefferson and his friends, and par
ticularly, at that time, of the French
revolution.
Washington was criticised ; for an
excessive tone of formality, for exclu-
siveness in his social conduct, and for
encouraging a spirit of homage to his
person. It had already become a cus
tom to honor him on the 22d of Feb
ruary with formal calls, the firing of
cannon, . militia parades, and other
birthday honors.
But when, in the third year of his
first administration, the committee
which had charge of the affairs of
the assembly that Is, the social man
agers of the Almack's, of Philadelphia
agreed that the annual ball should
take place on the night of the presi
dent's birthday, there was much dis
agreeable talk concerning their dispo
sition to adopt royal usages and to
convert the president into a social
monarch..
Little attention, however, was given
to these objections, and the ball took
place. It was said to have been mark
ed by a brilliant display of beauty.
Washington and his wife were present,
together with John Adams, as vice
president; Governor Mifiiin, Speaker
Turnbull of congress, and all the lead
ing members of the national govern
ment. In the following year another
assembly ball was given at Oeller's
hotel. Washington attended it,, and
there, with his wife, he received con
gratulations on his happy entrance into
his sixty-second year. -ftiuaaeipnia
Bulletin. - - . , ; .
; Mc&tnley'a Singing. ' i
"Governor ' McKlnley was not a mu
sician," said Opha Moore, who was a
member of his ofnee stas when he was
governor of Ohio, "but he had a smooth.
soft voice of musical quality and he was
fond of- the simpler hymns. Often when
we were working quietly here in the
office a low, sweet humming of a fa
miliar tune generally a Methodist
hymn would ', come floating from the
governor's private office, and it was
good to near.'- c-oiumpus jDispatcn.
Reads like It's True.
A Stroud farmer on route 1 has
taken out a patent on an electric motor
fastened on a cow's back, the electricity
being generated by a dynamo attached
to the cow's tail, says the Stroud in
ventor. It strains the milk and hangs
up the - pall and strainer; ' a small
phonograph . accompanies the outfit,
which yens. - "or - -, wnen ine cow
moves: if she kicks, a hinged arm
catches the milk stool and lams her
over the head with it. Lincoln County
(Okla.) Journal.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
. tFrom the Atchison Globe.J -1
How often you meet the men you
dislike. - ,
Few of us give our critics the atten
tion they deserve.
Every man who didn't run at the
first Bull run," we heard a man say
the other day, "is there yet.".
Every' man excuses his Impatience
in the conviction that patience is
purely a feminine trait.
If a woman finds out ten things her
husband was keeping from her, . she
guessed seven of them.
"When a boy gets too old for his
mother to wash him, his neck and
ears never get a good washing until
he falls In love.
There are many pitiful sights in the
world. One of the most pitiful is tq
see a distressed mother carrying her
sick baby to a doctor. '
No boy ever looks any farther into
the future than to Inquire, when eat
ing his dinner, what kind of pie
comes at the end of it.
The Lancaster Literary society has
decided that no woman is too honest
to deceive her husband about the
money she spends on her kin.
Don't take up a man's time in talk
ing to him about the smartness of
your children. He wants to talk to you
about the smartness of his children.
"I hope," - says a man of twenty,
"that things will be better tomorrow."
"I hope," he says when he is past for
ty, "that they won't be any worse."
A' widow says to her second hus
band: "Tou have to love my children."
but a widower says to his second wife.
"Tou don't have to love my children
unless, you wan't to"
A man will boast that his father was
rich, and that his mother was good,
but we never saw one yet who was not
ashamed to admit it if his mother was
an equal suffragist. ;
One wise man states a proposition.
Another wise man says the proposition-is
foolish. What Is the .truth f
Half the time we don't know whether
we are right or wrong, although all
the time trying to do right. . ;
We - have noticed that when a
small boy goes Into a store, he always
leaves a boy on the outside, and when
he Is detained, he will go to the door
two or three times, and call out: "All
right. Bill; In Just a minute." Tou
will often see a girl going down town
alone to do an errand, but you will
never see a boy alone. He will start out
alone, and wind op with four or five
boys and a dog.
THE EVENING STORY
Improving on Instructions.
By. Taylor White.)
Ben Runvon regarded with amuse
ment, if not approbation, the diminu
tive applicant for the vacant post of
office bdy. The ' lad's fluent talk,
heavily flavored with the elans; of the
moment, was diverting even while it
exposed his unfitness lor tne piace.
"I'm afraid its no deal, Lippy,"
he said, his tone tinged with kindly
regret. "Tou don't quite fill the
bill" -
He turned back to his desk, but a
grimy hand grasped his coat sleeve.
"Forget It, boss," pieaaea Juiippy
(he had confessed that to be the only
name he knew). "I'm wrong; get
that? I don't live wid me fader and
mudder, but It's 'cause I ain't got
none, see? What ef I do live in a
lodgin' house and ain't got me pants
pressed ? I'll be Johnny on de spot
and wort' a dozen dude kids.. Len
me free iron men an' 1 11 be back
here wid de glad rags in a half hour.
Is it a go? Give a feller a chanct,
will yer?" -
Lippy tried hard to keep a stiff
upper Up, but the nervous twitching
betrayed his anxiety, and there was a
pleading look in the sharp, greenisn
eyes. Runvon drew a five-dollar bill
from his pocket and handed it to the
boy.
"It's a go." he agreed. "Now, for
heaven's sake, get a decent-looking
suit. Don't come back here looking
like a prize fighter's sparring partner,
and hurry up."
with a muttered "ranks tnat was
meant to be brusque,- but which spoke
whole volumes of the boy's delight.
Lippy sped from the office. He was
back within the prescribed half hour,
A clean shirt and a paper collar had
replaced the tattered garment that
once had been his body covering. A
suit well worn, but clean, and a pair
of shoes described by Lippy as "new
second hand" completed the outfit.
Lippy was Installed.
For a few weeks things went well
In the Runyon office. Lippy learned
the rudiments of a more conventional
speech, and his alertness brought
many a smile of approval from Run
yon. Lippy was keeping his promise
to be "Johnny on the spot."
Then came a blue Monday when all
went wrong. Runyon came to the
office with the temper of a bear. He
passed Lippy with a curt nod, and
shut himself in the private office,
whence presently came a demand for
the typewriter. Lippy reported that
she had not yet arrived and pointed
out that she still had fifteen minutes
grace. But the fifteen minutes
stretched to half an hour and still the
girl had not come, while Runyon's
temper grew more savage.
-Then - came a telephone message,
Miss Blake had been married the day
before and had gone on her honey
moon. Her mother hoped that It
would not inconvenience her em
ployer,- but her fiance had been or
dered west and the girl had accom
panled him.
"What am I going to do without
Miss Blake?" stormed Runyon.
"There are Important papers to be
got out. I can't trust them to a pub
lic typewriter."
"Get another glri," advised Lippy
sagely. me man what makes the
machines keeps girls in cold storage.
'Phone him and he'll push one down
here special delivery. .
. VNo, go," dissented Runyon.
must have one in whose discretion I
can trust. . The only recommendation
those girls require is that they use
the machine."
"Ain't you th' hep gamoosh to some
dame wit th' hurry fingers?" sug
gested Lippy. ''Your fren or your
fren s fren?"
Runyon started.
"It may do some good," he told
himself. "It will show that I am not
disposed to hold anger. Take this
card and ask the lady If she can come
down at once," he added to Lippy,
handing the boy a card which he
drew from his vest pocket.
Lippy was out of the office like a
whirlwind and presently he was
standing in front of a handsome
house In the residential district, de
bating with himself if this could be
the address. His debate was short.
To Lippy orders were orders. He
climbed the steps and soon was stand
ing in the hallway, while the butler
went oft to find the girl.
"Tou have a letter from Mr. Run
yon?" she asked as Lippy was ushered
into a room all sweet smells and soft
toned colors. Lippy shook his head in
a negative.
"He didn't have no time to write."
he explained. "He couldn't wait fr
that. He told me to hot foot it up
here and tell you he couldn't wait
s'leven seconds wlt'out you. You're to
come down wit me."
"What's the matter?" she asked In
astonishment. "Mr. Runyou Is in some
trouble?"
"Up to his neck," declared Lippy.
"Say, if you don't get down in a hurry
he'll go dead nutty. He was mos' bug
house when I went away from there
wit' somethin' t' tell you."
"Walt In the hall. I'll be right
down," she promised, while her trem
bling hands toyed nervously with a
ribbon. "I I did not know It was so
serious; that he would take It this
way." -
"Serious!" - echoed Lippy. Til bet
we find two cops and the ambulance
doc in th' place if we don't get there
pretty quick."
The girl rang the bell for her maid
and Lippy went down to the front hall
to spend a pleasant ten minutes in im
pertinent conversation, addressed to
the butler with the delightful know
ledge that the staid functionary did not
dare hit back.
'Then the girl came down the stairs
looking even more attractive in her
heavy furs, and Lippy wonderingly fol
lowed her Into the automobile that
stood at the curb. This sort of type
writer was new to him. -
The ride was all too short and the
girl pressed after him as Lippy raced
down the hall and proudly threw open
the door with a shrill "I got her, boss."
Runyon came out of his private of
fice and halted as he looked at the
girl.
"Tou have come. Aline? Tou for
give?" he asked hoarsely.
"The boy said you were nearly dis
tracted," she explained. "I should not
have come, if he had not led me to be
lieve that you were on the point of
committing some rash action."
"I Bent him for that typewriter you
recommended," explained Runyon. "My
girl got married yesterday and left
town. I had the address of this girl
of whom you had spoken. Lippy, let
me see that card."
Lippy produced the now battered
pasteboard. It was one of Aline Bre
val's own cards with a penciled ad
dress on the back, but the pencil marks
were almost obliterated- through fric
tion with other papers.
"I did not notice that the pencil ad
dress was blurred out." explained
Runyon. "I suppose that Lippy did
not even notice the marks. He Is re
sponsible for the trouble to which you
have been put, but, dear, can't you see
the hand of fate In the development?
Won't you believe in the sincerity of
my penitence and forgive my ill humor?."
Lippy, catching the drift of the re
mark, searched the girl's face. His
quick perception saw in her clear eyes
the dawn of forgiveness, long before
his employer read his answer and be
plucked at Runyon's coat.
'Say. boss," he shrilled, "ril go out
an' get me lunch," and as he departed
he Innocently slipped the spring latch,
that these two, who were oblivious to
all else than themselves, should not be
disturbed by the intrusion of . book
agents or peddlers.
it was an hour before he showed un
again, and Runyon was 'working fever
ishly at his desk, while Miss Breval sat.
by the window enjoying the panorama
of the city spread before her gaze. .
Kunyon handed him a letter.
"Take that to this address." he said
smilingly. "It is the address of the
new typewriter. -When she comes give
her these specifications to copy. I shall
not be here when you get back. I
shall not be back until tomorrow."
'I'm sorry I didn't get her th' first
time," said Lippy hypocritically. -
"It s all right." assured Runyon as
he added a five dollar bill to the en- '
velope he still held out. "Tou improv
ed upon Instructions and we Miss
Breval and myself are very much
obliged."
"Don't menshun It. muttered Lippy
backing away, for Miss Breval was
smiling upon him, and the radiance of
that smile abashed the boy's assurance
for the first time in his eventful young
life. (Copyrighted, 1908, by Associated
Literary Press.
The Mad and Murderous Pace.
In the health department reports
for 1907 two items stand out with
unpleasant prominence, the 7.237
deaths from organic . heart disease
and the 4,914 violent deaths. The
former reflects the mad driving of
the human body under the excitement
of our high-speed existence; the lat
ter is a grewsome reminder of the
disregard of Americans for their own
lives. Of the 4,914 deaths by violence
only 284 were homicides and 711
suicides.. Nearly four thousand citi
zens, then, were slaughtered by street
cars, factory wheels, trucks, . tene
ment house fires, and other sanction
ed methods of extermination! A com
parison of this record with that of
other large cities would surely put
New Tork at the very bottom of the
list. Where else is a good-sized vil
lage obliterated by accidents every
twelvemonth? New Tork Tribune.
Church Did that detective you engaged
discover anything?
Gotham Yes; that I had money. Yon
kers Statesman.
Muriel When you eloped with George,
did you leave a note telling your people
where you had gone?
Gabrielle Why, of course. If I hadn't,
how would papa have known where to
send us any money? Illustrated Bits.
"How did youi husband get out of the
building after be had located the gas
leak?" asked the reporter.
"As nearly as he could remember it af
terward," said the woman, "he went out
through the roof." Chicago Tribune.
"Well, I don't believe ail these people
who say that Mrs. Ke Flippe puts all her
husband's earnings on her back."
"No?"
: "I sat behind her at the opera the other
Bight." Chicago Record-Herald.
- She Doesn't coffee ever make youujter
vous? ;
He Not unless I've got a Jot of money
in it on a falling market. Then the weak
er it is the more nervous it makes me.
Jane Sear Have you ever experienced
the divine passion?
Annie Yellow Yes, Indeed. One of the
men I was In love with was our pastor.
Cleveland Leader. , .
"Cheer up. Colonel; Georgia's in the the
swim' !"
"If so, sir," said the Colonel, "she needs
a life-preserver. Have you , got a pint
about you" Atlanta Constitution.
" Bride Did I appear nervous at all dur
ing the ceremony?
Brother A little at first: but not after
George had said "Yes." Philadelphia Tel
egraph. '
Willie Say, Pop, men angels have mus
taches, do they?
Pop No.
Willie Why not? '
Pop (absently) Because they have such
a close shave to get there, I reckon. Cin
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
"In politics I presume it Is always well
to saw wood and say nothing."
"Not always. Sometimes the people send
a man to congress just to get rid of his
gab." Washington Herald.
"Every year the HIgga have Mrs. Jones
up to their country home for a long visit."
, "Fond of her, are theyT"
"No of him." Harper's Bazar.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS. '
From the Chicago News.
Many are called and - more are
bluffed.
; Query "Is a poor reputation better
than none at all ?"
Do you know of anything that la
harder to get than easy money?
Va rtnlatU 4nn 1. n .. n mm , m
A woman Isn't necessarily an old
hen because she is set in her ways.
. No, Maude, dear; the office-hunter
doesn't require a gunning license. -
- Many a- woman marries for money
because she can't think of any other
excuse.
Let a poet write a rich man's will
and he eares not who writes the na
tion's poems. l
Being an endless affair, a wedding
ring frequently gets one into no end
of trouble.
A small boy's Idea of playing safe is
to get his mother to promise not to
tell his father. ;
A woman Is always contrary enough
to agree with a man just when he
doesn't want her to.
Wise. Is the man who knows when te
turn the other cheek and when to
knock his opponent down.
What would happen if the Lord
were to follow all the advice that Is
handed to Him in prayers ? -
Tou should remove the Junk from
your own back yard before worrying
about the old tin cans in your neigh
bor's. The average man would soon ac
quire a lot of money if he could sell
his get-rlch-qulck schemes at 10 cents
each.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New Tork Press.
A man's idea of fun wouldn't be if
It waa at home.
An easy way to get a girl to admit
she likes you is for her not to.
A woman believes everything she
hears unless it sounds reasonable.
A girl likes flattery because even if
you don't mean it you ought to know
it's true.
There's no use being so good In this
world that it won't seem any different
when you set to heaven.
HUMOR OF THE DAY