The Topeka state journal. [volume], April 14, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOFEKA DAILY STATE JOUdTAITUESPAY EVEOT2JO, APRIL 14,1203.
TCFEKi STiTE JOURNAL.
Br PRANK P. MAO LEX NAN.
Entered July 1. 1S75. as second-class
matter at the postofflce at xopeuv nun.
under the act of congresaj
iVOLUME XXXV.
. No. 80
Official State Paper.
Official Paper Cit7 of Topeka.
TERMS Or SUBSCRiPTION.
. Dally edition, delivered by carrier. 10
eents a week to any part of Topeka. or
suburbs, or at the same price in any Kan
sas towna where the paper has a carrier
" system.
By mall, one year
By mall, three months - -"J
Saturday edition of dally, one year... 1-W
TELEPHONES.
Business Office
Business Office
Reporters' Room
Reporters' Room
Frank P. MacLennan
,.311 Vft
.Ind. 107
.Bell 571
.Ind.
.Ind. 700
PERMANENT HOMB.
Topeka State Journal building. 80 and
02 Kansas avenue, corner of Eighth.
New Tork Office: Flatiron building, at
Twenty-third street, corner Fifth aveaue
and Broadway. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago Office: Hartford building. Paal
Block, manager.
IffSlXi LESED WIRE REPORT
OP THE ASSOCIATED PRKSS.
, The State Journal Is a member of the
- Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka.
The news Is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur
. pose.
.A; "Farmer" Smith of MePherson
baa announced that he will not be
'a candidate for the Republican nom
ination for governor. Whose candi
dacy will this help?
, ' The Japs have a handy word. It is
something like "kanshln." It means
most ravishing, beautiful, delightful
'and all else that's nice. But It seems
' to have been lmsused by a party of Jap
tourists who have applied it to Chi
cago. '
. Senator Elkins has asked the press
to stop gossiping about the possible
engagement of. his-, daughter to the
I royal Duke of Abruzzi. He makes the
'request rather Impossible to be com
piled with by failing to either affirm
or deny' the engagement.
Activity, on the part of the Paris po
lice resulted the other day in the ar
rest of three noted anarchists. They
had In their possession a whole cart
load of dynamite. Probably they made
bombs by the wholesale for their less
Intelligent and murderously inclined
pals.
It's about time, as is Indicated by
the news dispatches, that the business
men of Chicago are optimistic over
business conditions and are certain of
a speedy return of prosperity. The
business men in this section of the
country have been in that frame of
mind for some time.
Surely no taxpayer In the county
wil have a word to say about the action-
of the county commissioners In
making an appropriation of $25 a
month for the Florence Crittenton
home, unless it Is to remark at the
smallness of the sum. This institu
tion Is a most worthy one.
' They're evidently going to do their
best to make prohibition prohibit in
the new state of Oklahoma. A con
struction has been placed on the law
to the effect that the carrying of a bot
tle of liquor is prohibited and a man
Is liable to arrest for violation of the
law If one is found In his possession.
The girls of the Junior class of the
University of Kansas have made a bid
for real fame. They have decided to
eliminate cab service on the night of
the annual "prom" and will walk to
the big event instead of riding. Their
names ought to be emblazoned in gold
on the pages of the institution's history-
If looks count for anything the
Topeka Turner team that is to repre
sent Kansas in the International
Turnfest at Frankfort-on-the-Main,
Germany, will win all the medals. In
asmuch as they are quite as good ath
letes as they are good-lookers they
will probably get their share of the
prizes.
. , Topeka's gain of seventy-three new
factories during a year's time is most
gratifying. It does, not take half an
eye to see that this city is enjoying a
i healthy and a steady growth as a
manufacturing and a business center.
There Is no reason why it should not.
Its location and transportation facili
ties are Ideal. And if there is a finer
residential city in the whole land it
has not made its presence known as
yet.'-.
. Iowa comes forward with a minis
ter who gambled for the office of
mayor of a city and won. At the re
cent election in Polk City the minis
terial candidate and his opporent
had a tie vote. The preacher suggest
ed that a penny be flipped to deter
mine the winner. This was done and
he won. It is not reported how he
now stands with his congregation, but
the chances are that they care not
for In Iowa any old thing goes.
J. W. Kendrlck, second vice presl
dent of the Santa Fe, has Just com
pleted a tour of the lines of the com
pany in the west and southwest. And
he sees behind the clouds that were
stirred up by the recent business de
pression an effulgent sun of pros
perity. He believes that the crops
along the routes of the Santa Fe will
be record breakers this year, and rec
ord breaking crops hold the command
ing position right in the van of the
army led by General Prosperity.
, Coffeyvllle may well be proud of the
fact that her citizens have contribut
ed 1100,000 to a fund which Is to be
used In securing new Industries for
the city. Surely there will be many
cities in Kansas that will brush their
eyes and sit up and take notice. This
Coffeyvllle fund amounts to 95 for
very man, woman and child in the
tows. It la really a mammoth sum
-
for a city of the size to take up by
popular subscription for such a pur
pose, or for any purpose for that
matter. Certainly the . rank and file
of Coffeyvillians are public spirited
Individuals and their examples might
well be emulated by the people of
other communities in the state.
ITALY'S "DAY OF REST" LAW.
Italy has adopted recently a decided
ly unique law Insuring a day of rest
each week to all working men and wo
men. The purpose has been attained
without causing the suspension on Sun
day of the various industries which
enable the people to enjoy amusements
which the authorities say and believe
keep them from greater mischief. Thus
the railway and street car lines,' the
places of amusement and public utili
ties are kept In operation on Sunday,
their employes having their holiday
upon some other day in the week.
The law specifically enumerates the
Industries which may operate on Sun
day as follows:
"Those operated by continuous fur
nace fires, the work of which must not
be Interrupted; cheese manufactories;
restaurants, bars,, cafes, coffee houses,
billiard roomsv and public business
concerns In general; loading and un
loading operations in the port and ves
sel repairs, transportation by land oth
er than by rail; hiring of chairs and
carriages; flower businesses, photo
graphic establishments, pharmacists;
undertakers; newspaper offices, infor
mation bureaus, theatrical perform
ances, and public amusements; cigars
and salt stores, even if there be offered
for sale other articles; Industries of
public necessity." .
Those whose employment is in the
open air and subject to interruption by
bad weather may also work on Sunday
while the following trades are permit
ted to operate between 7 a. m. and
noon: Dealers in foods, insurance,
emigration and employment establish
ments, advertising and loan offices and
barber shops.
The law has been in operation two
months and apparently gives general
satisfaction, permitting all classes a
day of rest, yet interfering with the
recreation of none.
POSSESSION OF DYNAMITE.
In order to lessen crime and ordin
ary violence states and municipalities
have undertaken to provide for the
licensing and registration of the sale
and possession of weapons.
Concerning dynamite plots or In
dividual crimes a New York contem
porary has done well to revert to a
suggestion that Dr. D. A. Chatard, an
eminent chemist and once president
of the national organization of chem
ists, made some years ago at a Wash
ington convention of his society. He
advocated a federal law making it a
penal offense for individuals to have
dynamite or other deadly explosives
in their possession, and authorizing
police visits to homes of suspects and
providing for severe punishment of
offenders against the act. Only auth
orized persons and corporations em
ploying dynamite In Industrial pursuits
would then have the legal right to
buy and keep deadly explosives.
Some doubt has been raised as to
the constitutionality of a federal law
regulating, the sale and possession of
dynamite. But there is no question
ing the validity of proper state laws
on municipal ordinances covering the
subject.
The same principle that applies to
knives, pistols, guns, etc., applies in
this day of terror and dynamite out
rages to the sale and possession of ex-'
plosives. As to the efficacy of the
suggested regulation, of course, no
one would assert that It would do
away with bomb throwing. The man
who was , desperate and criminal
enough to contemplate wholesale mur
der by dynamite would not hesitate to
break all conceivable laws and or
dinances In the effort to obtain his
stuff. But the object of all laws in
regard to deadly weapons is to render
it more and more difficult for the
wrong persons to procure such Instru
ments of crime, to reduce the danger
of their use and add as much as pos
sible to the safe-guards enjoyed by
the community.
A BUDGET OF SOCIETY NEWS.
Between the Vanderbilts, the Goulds
and the Elkinses, our "best people," Mrs.
Grundy Is having the time of her life.
There have been family councils at
home" and abroad to consider pending
marriage proposals, and the doors of
the divorce courts have opened to sep
arate marriages that were not made in
heaven.
Evidently young Howard Gould
did not find matrimony to be
one grand sweet song, as the
poet says. His answer to his
as the poet says. His answer to his
wife's divorce "bill," as they say in
New England, reads like a chapter
from Zola, a composite so to speak of
Nana and L'Assommoir. It was not
the "best people" in France that Zola
depicted, as the Nanas and the Cou
peaus were the daughters ar.d the sons
of the people. Heredity, environment,
the social system, as Zola attempted
to show, were responsible for girls like
Nana and drunkards like Coupeau.
The Vanderbilt divorce case is being
tried in camera, and only gossip in re
lation to it Is being printed. Mr. Alfred
G wynne Vanderbilt, the second son of
Cornelius, who was made heir to his
vast fortune because of parental dis
approval of young Cornelius marriage,
prefers tooling a coach between Lon
don and Brighton, and the compan
ionship of stable boys, to his wife's
company. This is a reversion to type,
for old Commodore Vanderbilt loved
horses, but the family at that time had
not chummed with - royal potentates,
and nothing was said about the com
modore's "low tastes."
The Gould family council, an Imita
tion of royalty, has finally consented,
it is believed, to admit the Prince Helie
de Sagan as a suitor for the hand of a
daughter of the House of Gould. The
is not touted as a love, match like the
Elkins-Abruzzi romance. Both." Madame
Gould and her prince have seen life and
had their experiences. The Gould mil
lions, or what Count Bonl left of them',
look good to the prince, and the daugh
ter of the mouse trap peddler likes the
sound of "Madame la Princess." -"
The latest dispatches from Rome en
courage the hope' that simple Miss
Elkins, who has nothing but money to
spend and diamonds to wear,-will soon
become a daughter of. the Royal House
of Savoy.' Everything has. been ar
ranged except the little matter of Miss
Elkins religion. .But why should a
plain Yankee' miss - hesitate , where a
Royal Princess of 'England plunged?
Besides, as has been said of the con
stitution being nothing between friends
what is religion between. two lovers,
with a title of a royal duchess for one,
and ;an American railroad king's mil
lions for the other?
It must be confessed that our ''best
society- sets an admirable example for
the people. What would we do without
our Vanderbilts, Goulds and the rest?
FLIES'!
JO
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Are the new hats called Merry
Widows because . husbands are likely
to drop dead when they get the bills?
.
A man doesn't have much appetite
for anything else , when he has to
swallow his pride and eat his words.
Satan won't put janitors to work at
the furnaces because they would be
sure to turn off the heat.
.
Nobody objects . to fair criticism
but trouble arises over differences in
the understanding most people have
of the word "fair." i
, 41.
In one 'way it Is certain that the use
of tobacco does not Impair the mem
ory, for a man can remember for a
lifetime some cigars' -that are given
him. .
According to the Beacon there are
no vacant lots In Wichita. Every one
which would otherwise be vacant Is
Occupied by a baseball diamond.
Forty contractors made bids on the
Job of building the waterworks plant
for Frankfort. It appears that a few
contractors are looking for something
to do.
Burrton carpenters act just like their
city brethren, and a strike was ordered
last week because a nonunion carpen
ter was put to work on a building
where union men were at work.
Conductor Sam Lightcap, who runs
through Russell on the Union Pacific
has begun the fortieth year of his ser
vice on the road. The conductor must
be trying to make a century run.
It is now said that Stockton Is great
ly agitated because the mules of the
town arouse people in the early dawn
with their brays. Stockton is not the
first town that has been kept awake
by Jackasses.
A deputy assessor in Wilson county
Is accused of taking all the chickens
he can find n the premises 4n excess
of the number reported by the owners
of fowls. This Is In compliance with
his construction of the new tax law.
Although Jewell - county raised '. no
corn worth mentioning last year, the
people of Jewell City bought $1,400
worth of watches, silverware and cut
glass at an auction last week. This
may be why the county is called Jewell.
The Atchison Globe revamps this
story: "Stuttering Ben observed that
a grocer was not giving a full measure
of oil to a customer, and called out:
Jim. I can tell you how t-t-to sell t-t-
twice as m-m-much oil as you d-d-do
now.' 'Well, how?' asked the grocer.
FlU-y-y-your m-m-measure.' "
Major J. C. Alderson, who is now be
ing urged to become a candidate for
governor of West Virginia on the Dem
ocratic ticket, was formerly of Atchi
son. In the 60' s he was an express
messenger on- Butterfleld's overland
dispatch between Atchison and Denver.
He lived on a farm near. Good Intent,
and this place is still known as the Al
derson farm.
Being mayor of Holton Is no fun. If
you don't believe it, ask Mr. Kuhn.
The other day a woman called him up
on the phone and asked him to come
and chase the chickens out of her yard.
When he asked who was speaking to
him she haughtily Informed him that
she did not care to have her name ap
pear in the matter. Being mayor, of
course he was supposed to know all
about the chicken business, and in
what part of town her particular part
of the trouble was located.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
Somehow, we always dislike to see
a cook smoke or chew tobacco.
The man who is always contem
plating never gets any work done.
When a woman drives a horse she
is always whipping him with the
lines.
It Isn't what father can afford in
most families; it is what the children
want.
Don't pat a young man on the back
too much: admiration does more
than criticism to kill ambition and
ability.
The more worthless a man is when
he leaves a town, the greater the
probability that he will come back.
A man could beat the women's rec
ord in the number of surgical opera
tions, if having his "leg pulled" count
ed.
If you have an ambition to be pop
ular, don't tell people about yourself;
let them talk to you about themselves.
The world is full of men and wo
men who do nothing. They general
ly impose on someone who works too
much.
There are so many worthless men
in the world that a man who behaves
himself half the time. Is tolerably
sure to become distinguished.
The women's idea of a nice modest
girl Is one who does not try to flirt
with any other girl's sweetheart. The
masculine idea is one who does not
flirt at all.
When a woman's friends tell her
she should get out more in pretty
weather, and let the housework go,
she looks reproachfully at her hus
band when she says she can't.
When a man invents anything, all
his friends assist in setting him crazy
by saying it certainly is a great thing,
and will make him rich, although
they know nothing about ,it.
When a man dies," it is customary
to say that he left a vacancy that will
be hard to . fill. There isn't any va
cancy left. If you take a cup of
water out . of the river. It leaves no
vacancy.
j JAYHAWKER JOTS
KANSAS .COMMENT
A TIME FOR CANDOR.
"The limitation of the pass privi
lege," said President ; Mather of the
Rock Island railway system in a re
cent address at Pittsburg, "has clear
ly swollen the passenger receipts.
The enforcement of the prohibition
of rebates has not only turned our
traffic men and the traffio men of
the shippers, -too from a daily life
of crime, but has turned money Into
our treasuries.. It continues, how
ever." he .said, "to be the claim of
the railroads that they shall not be
so regulated as to be prevented from
earning interest on their bonds and
reasonable dividends on their stock."
The adoption of the same attitude
on the part of officials high up in
authority In other railway corpora
tions of the country would go a long
way toward quieting the antagonism
that has developed between the peo
ple and these corporations. Nothing
will serve the railroads better than a
little candor at this time. If the two
cent fare is practicable a frank ad
mission of the fact would well come
from the railroads. If it isn't, it
would be the part of wisdom for these
corporations to show the people
wherein it is unfair, rather than with
out any such showing to make an
appeal to the courts to Interfere.
What is true of low- passenger fares
is also true of freight rates. No one
desires, to see the railroads prevented
from securing a fair income on prop
er stocks and bonds, but ' the people
do insist upon every benefit at the
hands of the railroads to which they
are entitled. Leavenworth Times. -
ONLY A MEMORY. : ;
Once upon a time a national Popu
list convention was an Important sub
Ject for discussion in Kansas. We used
to hear of the Omaha platform, and
the other platforms upon which can
didates pledged themselves to stand
until it seemed as if half the people of
Kansas looked upon a declaration of
a Populist national convention the
same as they would on a page of Holy
Writ.
Last week the Populists had a na
tional convention in St. Louis. The
proceedings were 'wired 'to the news
papers but if anybody . ever read any
thing more than the head lines he
must have had a lot of spare time. No
one cared who was . nominated or
whether he stood- on' a platform, or
straddled a wire fence. The only ex
cuse any one will have for voting'the
Populist ticket is that the other tickets
don't suit him at all and he votes the
Pop ticket to be contrary;
The Populist party has nominated
Thomas Watson for president and
adopted a platform that nobody will
read. There is a little sadness for
many of the old Populists in this J
change that has come but with the
bulk of the American people there will
be only a wondering recollection- that
there was such a party ana mai ii
once swept the "state of Kansas and
advertised that it would redeem the
world. Hutchinson News.
' TREASON!
William Allen White recently said:
"Solomon had a thousand wives,, and
nine hundred of them were useless."
Will Emporia stand for this? Mr.
White clearly intimates that Solomon
had use for a hundred wives, and if
Solomon had use for a hundred wives,
every man is entitled to that number.
Let the Federation. ,at Women's Clubs
take proper actlonv -Atchison Globe.
FROM OTHER PENS
FOOD GRINDING.
That eminent fount of human wis
dom, William E. Gladstone, owed hia
long preserved vigor, both bodily and
mental to his methodical habits. It
was Gladstone who recommended that
solid food should receive 82 chews
before being approved and passed
down. According to the Fletcher
method, 28 molar Impressions are suf
ficient for masticatory preparation,
and there are many adherents of this
system who ascribe remarkable bene
fits to Its praotice. But here is Dr.
Wiley, chief chemist of the depart
ment of agriculture, who has little
use for the man who chews by rote
and bites with mathematical exact
ness. The chief chemist thinks that
all such painstaking deliberations
leads on to dyspepsia and Its many at
tendant ills. According to the doctor,
the race that eats the most, that nour
ishes itself the most liberally, is the
race that will grow and predominate.
The Americans are hearty eaters, and
so are the English and their colonial
cousins, the Canadians. And these
hearty eaters are robust of body and
large of stature. Incidentally, Dr.
Wiley doesn't look with favor on the
suggestion that mankind can support
life on condensed food In capsules, a
strictly chemical menu, as it were. He
doesn't believe mankind is prepared
to accept this advanced suggestion.
He seems to think that man will con
tinue to look upon the act of eating
as a pleasant rite as well as a neces
sary habit, and that the substitution
of a slippery capsule poised on the
tongue one moment, and the next
moment gone will not be favored by
the ordinary eater with teeth to ex
ercise and a palate to please. Cleve
land Plain Dealer. .
DESTROYING THE SEALS.
There is a sort of poetic Justice In
the fact that today Canada finds her
self In much the same situation with
respect to the seal herds of Bering
sea that Canadians placed the Ameri
cans in some 20 : years ago. Then
Americans had a prosperous sealing
industry and were trying to preserve
it by protecting the seal herd. Can
adians insisted on the right of des
truction, which was finally confirmed
by the Paris arbitration to an extent
that virtually destroyed the American
sealing industry except on the Pribi
loff Islands. The Canadians were
bound by treaty, however, to observe
certain rules In deep-sea sealing which
were intended to give the seal herd
some chance. But of late years the
Japanese, bound by no treaties, have
begun taking seals in the most de
structive manner, and. as a conse
quence, the Canadian sealing fleet
has been reduced from 50 vessels
to 6.
Now the Canadians are appealing
to the United States and Great Britain
for some modification or extension of
the International : rules which shall
have the effect of checking the ruin
ous work of the Japanese. As Canada
effectually tied the hands of the
United States, nothing can be done by
this country unless Japan wiM vol
untarily enter upon a treaty for the
preservation of the seals. Even then
the work of "desTruction probably
would go on under some other flag.
If the United States had succeeded in
making Bering a closed sea.- it would
have been possible to protect the herd
in such a maimer that the sealing in
dustry could be preserved indefinite
ly not only for this country, but for
others. Buffalo Express.
THE WOMAN OP IT.
Coldest day and thinnest gown
That's the woman of it;
Check indorsement upside down
That's the woman of it;
Worshiping some etageland star:
Duds and diamonds held o'er par:
Stepping backward off the car
That's the woman of it.
Handing out the cut unkind
That's the woman ot it: .
Fitful as an April wind
That's the woman, of it;
Hearts are looked on as mere toys: ..
Frivolities mistook for Joys, -
And life a game that oft annoys
That's the woman of it-
Childhood sung in circling
Love that bucklers 'gainst all harms
That's the woman of it:
A glow of wordless sympathy
That lights the storm-tossed man at sea
And sends him forth, triumphantly
That's the woman of it.
Denver Republican.
British Women Have Big Feet.
"The women of England as a rule
have larger feet than their sisters in
the United States, as I happen to know
through a long experience In building
shoes for both," said Mr. J. Donaldson,
of London, at the Stafford.
"I have been taking orders for custom-made
shoes among the feminine
upper ten on both sides of the Atlantic
so many years that I know the subject
pretty well, and I am guilty of no want
of patriotism In saying that the bulk
of the women folks of my country wear
6's and 7's, whereas the prevailing
sizes in America are 4's and 5's. I
rather think there are more American
women who take No. shoes than
there are English women using 6's.
"Why are the women of Great Brit
ain blessed with larger pedal extremi
ties than those of the states? I think
it Is solely due to the fact that they do
vastly more walking in the Old Coun
try. The gentle sex in England is
greatly devoted to pedestrian exercise,
and an- English woman will walk more
In a -day than one will in a week In
this country. The splendid benefits of
the exeroise are seen in the rosy cheeks
and robust figures of our females, and
they very sensibly prefer strong con
stitutions to the small vanity of little
feet." Baltimore American.
Carried Wildcat Nine Miles.
While trannfnv nn v,a t)Tni, t
mountains Moses Harshbarger, of
ucLutuii, iuuna a large . wildcat
caught by the hind leg. To get the
bounty on the scalp, however, his
catship had to be transported alive to
Mlffin county.
," Taking an ordinary phosphate sack
Harshbarger fitted a hoop constructed
from a sapling, in the mouth and fas-
irueu it in me rorks or a small tree.
Then with a pole he picked up cat,
tran. and all smri tnoui .v.
- - - - v. . b . 1 . UID
sack. Throwing the sack over his
siiuuiuer, no carried the cat nine
miles, stopping twice en route to ob
tain new fVMkn An . tha ant. 1
bitten and scratched Its way through
the others.
The cat rileri IhHtii th. ..). j
- o i. e i w tutu
Harshbarger will apply for the bounty
" me peii. -nnaaeiphia Record.
Glass in His Arm T"hr Ymum
A Piece of glass one inch long and
wwo was ix'
Ken from th fnPAniMn w ITS tj-
MUM axttsr ii naa traveled from the
base of the thumb. Three years ago
HartmnTi wn.n a etnian n w
" - " - B.uv4viii, ai S.H13 BIZLIO
university in Columbus, and while at
TTvia. m me u&ooraiory a test tube ex
ploded lav his hand. The glass was
SUDDOSed to hfl.VA hAAn
ELS thfl wnnnl rtAolMl n(AAi i
- M.XLkJ t LUO .JtJl
uet was quite xorgotten. A ticklish
feeling in his arm of late caused him
tO Consult a. RlircAnn -artifi-tfe traann
in the discovery of the glass. Napo-
y'-'-i uispatcn w me xsew xork
How One Man na.t4ua Ohm.
A driver on the Avontuur railway.
South Africa, while staying at the
Gamtoos, caught a large cobra de
capello aUve. The cool way In which
he did the trick (says a local paper)
sent a cold shiver through every one
-...J vaugUl UU1U VL
the point of its tall, gave it a sudden
j '"""m aim ana caugnt it Dy the
ha.rk rf thn haoil VT i m j.
. y bijou iiuwcu 1 1
In a biscuit tin. The snake was three
mciiBH in aiamoier ana aDout lour feet
mug. Aiiuifcinapoiis XNews.
What's in a Name?
There Is nothing In a name In a
Tenderloin rooming house. A theatri
cal manager who, for convenience sake
In order to be near his theater, lives
in a house in one of the roaring forties
was very much annoyed the other day
to find In his mail a letter addressed
to a young woman bearing the same
name and Initials as himself. He spoke
to me Den Doy aoout it, and complain
ed tnat nis mail would get mixed up.
"Oh, I can fix that for you. all rtht.
all - right," responded the bell boy.
"She's an awful obliging lady. She'd
do me a favor In a minute. I'll Just
ask her to take another name while
she lives here. She won't mind a bit."
New York Bun.
Coming of the Glorious Fourth.
Included in the cargo of a British
steamer that arrived at Boston from
Hong Kong Monday were 400,000,000
Chinese firecrackers intended for the
Fourth of July trade. By this coming
of a small partial supply for the ap
proaching demand by patriotic Ameri
cans we may be reminded that the
Fourth of July Is, in its small way.
all that Gen. Sherman declared war
to be, and that the holiday this year
is likely to De as uproarious as the
most ardent patriotism might desire.
Of course, this is only a slight propor
tion of the total that will be required
for the necessary amount of noise on
the festive occasion, but by June 1 the
other 900.ooo.ooo firecrackers and the
65,000.000 tin horns will be in stock, and
everything will be In readiness for the
glorious celebration. Three cheers for
Independence!--rovidence Journal.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
' From the Chicago News.
Even a stationary engine is sup
posed to run.
Don't break up housekeeping by
smashing the furniture.
You never saw an actress who had
no vanity in her make-up.
Don't attempt to forge . ahead by
forging another person's name.
Lot's wife became a pillar pf salt,
but most wives become peppery.
Married women should remember
that nagging doesn't make the nag go.
Trouble never fails to come to the
man who waits for something to turn
up.
It's easier for a fool to ask ques
tions than it is for a wise man to stop
nim.
Probably a miser saves money be
cause he doesn't know what, else' to
do with It. - , -
A woman always expects some rela
tive she never heard of to die and
leave her a lot of money.
Only a married man can fully ap
preciate the biblical statement that
there will be bo marrying liv heaven.
735Q? EVENING STORY
The Butterfly Girl.
(By Temple Bailey.)
The first rift in the lute came when
Albert arrived home one stormy night
and found his bride in a fetching
pink gown, with her shining hair
puffed into a halo of gold, with pink
candle shades on the corners of the
dining table, with pink roses In the
center and with nothing thereon to
eat but a third day's cold roast ana
leftover salad. i
Albert having kissed his wife en
thusiastically and having changed his
office coat for a more formal one,
peered at the platter dubiously.
"I am desperately hungry," he
said, "and there isn't much meat
left." ' -
"I am not a bit hungry," Bettlna
stated : "I was shopping - downtown
and I had such a lunch.
"I had a sandwich," was Albert's
brief comment, and after that ha ate
sparingly of the lamb and the taste
less salad and sought final solace In
his after-dinner cigar.
That evening Bettlna found him
somewhat unresponsive. In vain she
played and sang his favorite songs in
her little lilting voice. In vain she
prattled of her downtown bargains.
In vain she petted him and praised
him. Albert met all of her advances
stolidly, and the next morning found
her at Aunt Betsey's In tears.
"He has ceased to love me, she
declared.
"What did you give htm for dinner
last night?" Aunt Betsey demanded.
Bettlna faltered out her menu.
Aunt Betsey sniffed.
"No wonder he was disagreeable,"
she said. "Any man's affection would
be frozen out by cold meat and cold
salad and warmedover coffee."
"Albert's love ought to be superior
to such things," Bettlna said. "He
used always to quote things like 'A
Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread, ana
Thou beside me, singing in the
Wilderness,' and last night all of my
singing couldn't make him smile.
But Aunt Betsey was severely on
the defensive.
"A Jug of wine and a loaf of bread
may be all right in hot climates," she
admitted, "but yesterday it was snow'
Ing, and Albert came in chilled, and
you ought to have had something fit
to eat "
"Well, thank goodness my love isn't
dependent on food," said Bettlna,
loftily.
"What did you have for lunch yes
terday?" Aunt Betsey probed; "you
told me you went to Maillard s."
"We had grapefruit, and crab, and
quail, and a salad, and an Ice every
thing was delicious Mary Luttrell
invited me, with a friend of hers from
out of town."
"And poor Albert had a sandwich,'
Aunt Betsey reminded her.
"Oh! Oh!" Suddenly the real situa
tion seemed to dawn on the little
wife. "He was really hungry. Aunt
Betsey poor dear fellow."
"And he had worked rrom 8:30 in
the morning." Aunt Betsey went on,
"and when he came home at night.
tired and worn and nervous, he was
not In a condition to appreciate lace
trimmed ruffles, Bettlna, half as much
as an appetizing dinner."
Bettlna sighed.
"Well, it does away with the ro
mance."
. "Dear heart," Aunt Betsey told her.
."'there is a Joy In' service' that is
above the Joy of mere admiration
Try making Albert comfortable, and
you will get more solid happiness out
of it than by keeping him on the rack
with your coquetry."
But Bettlna shrugged her shoulders.
"The way to hold a man," she de
clared, "is to play with him."
"The way to hold a man," said Aunt
Betsey with a nod of her gray head, "is
to love him. And that means to make
yourself his equal In endeavor. Then
you have his respect. Tou must be the
homemaiker, just as Albert is the mon
eymaker."
"But you have never married," said
little Bettlna. "How can you know.
Aunt Betsey?"
"The people who look on from the
outside are the wise ones," said Aunt
Betsey, "and I have seen so many mat
rimonial shipwrecks."
That night Albert's footsteps lagged
a little on the stairway as he climbed
to his little flat. He knew just what
he would find at the top Bettlna,
charming In the rosy gown; the pink
candle shades, the pink roses, and cro
quettes made of the last of the beef.
Bettlna always ran to big roasts, and
there yet remained to be eaten a fifth
day's soup, made of the bone.
. The sound of his key In the latch
summoned no rosy vision, however. He
passed through the dining room. The
pink candles were not lighted. In front
of his place was a copper chafing dish.
one of Bettlna s hitherto unused wed
ding presents, and the blue flame burn
ing beneath set the contents bubbling,
and the air was laden with dellcious-
ness.
"Bettlna," he called, and at the sound
she came to the kitchen door. She wore
a long apron of china blue, her hair
was ruiriea aDout ner lace, ner cneeks
were flaming.
"I haven't time to kiss you," she
cried, gayly. "I must watch the chops."
Albert went into his room somewhat
disconcerted. It was the first time that
Bettlna had failed to kiss him. It was
the first time that his rooms had not
been In a rosy glow and he missed it.
But his discomfort vanished with the
serving of the dinner.
There were oysters in the chafing
dish panned to perfection; there were
broiled chops, a crisp salad and a pud
ding made by Bettina's own fair hands.
And Albert ate and praised and won
dered. "I didn't know you could do It, Bet
tlna," he said ; "you always seemed
such a butterfly girl."
Bettlna laughed.
"Aunt Betsey showed me how," she
said, "and and I really like doing it."
But her eyes were a little wistful,
and presently she said: "Don't you miss
anything?"
"Tes," Albert said, promptly, I do.
I miss the rosy gown and the rosy can
dles and you haven't kissed me yet,
Bettlna." '
He went around and stood at the
back of her chair.
"I was a bear last night, little girl,"
he apologized, "but a man's a queer
creature, and I was tired " He
folded his hands about the oval of her
face. "Kiss me," he said, softly.
And when that rite was performed
he asked: "Can't we have the candles
and the flowers tomorrow?"
But Bettlna shook her head.
"They cost too much." she said, "and
you need the hearty food more. But on
Sundays we will make a feast of ro
mance to offset the six days of com
mon sense."
Albert laughed. -
"If I were only rich," he said.
" "You are rich," his wife told him,
with her eyes sparkling.
"How?" he questioned.
"Because you have me," said pretty
Bettlna, saucily. (Copyrighted, 1908,
by Associated Literary Press.) -
BEING CANDID.
Speak out and get right down to tacks;
Tell VTAftM thrv sr. .tAalinK:
Tell doctors they are wretched quacks
inat make a bluff at healing;
TeU politicians that they lie
In matters thev have stated. '
It's very easy wbea you Iry;
tie canaia ana oe nsxea.-
Tell singers that they simply squall;
If honest they'll admire you.
TeU prosy people when they oau
They're awful bores who tire you.
Tell pompous persons that with gas
Ana wma they are inflated.
Let no good chance to prick them pass.
se canaia ana oe natea.
Tell hypocrites they're talking cant.
And. war with -humour wasins;.
Tell actors that they strut and rant;
Ten women tney are aging.
Conduct yourself upon the line
That I have Indicated,
And as a critic you will shine.
Be candid ana be natea.
Chicago New.
HUMOR OF THE DAY
"What's the difference between vision
and sight?"
"see those two girls across the street 7
"Yes."
"Well, the pretty one I would call a vis
ion of loveliness, but the other one she's
a sight." Cleveland Plain Dealer. -
Old Gentleman Verv charmlnar old se-
dllla you have here.
Caretaker Yes. sir. you ain't by no
means the fust as 'as admired 'em. That's
Where the clergymen used to sit In, the
oraer oz their senility. Punch. s
Towne There was a atellins? bee down
at our church the other night. The pas
tor had charge of It. - . ....
.Browne No; was it interesting?
Towne Rather. The first three words
he gave out were "Increase." "pastor,"
"salary." Philadelphia Press.
Little Elvira Mamma, when the .- fire
goes out where does it go? --
. Mrs. . Gay lord I don't know, dear. You
might Just as well ask me where your
father goes when he goes out. Chloago
Newt,
"Tell me," said the young woman with
literary aspirations, "how you oontrlved
to get your first story accepted by a mag.
azlne?"
The eminent author smiled. "I owned
the magazine," he replied. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"There are the bridal rooms," announc
ed the bell-boy to the blushing youg cou
Sle. ,
"Oh, what a sweet suite!" exclaimed the
bride.
"I don't know anything about that,"
said the bell-boy, "but the head clerk
says he hopes the suite suits." Brook
lyn Life.
"Now." said the good fairy. "I will en
dow you iwith tenacity, prudence, fore
sight and thrift. With these you can eas
ily acquire wealth."
Rosa I am going to sell kisses at the
fete that is being got up for relief of the
poor people whose houses were burnt some
time rs;o.
Else H'm. I should have thought their
misfortunes were great enough as It Is.
Meggendorfer Blatter.
"Do you think kissing is dangerous?"
"Not when you're in the parlor and all
the doors are closed." Chicago Journal.
Miss Gusher I understand, -professor,
that you have mastered all of the modern
tongues.
Prof. Wise All but my wife's. Brook
lyn Eagle.
"Advertisements' on the scenery!" ex
claimed the star. "That's carrying com
mercialism really too .far." ,
1 "It isn't oommerclaliBm," exclaimed the
manager. - "We- want the scene to look
like a real meadow, don't we?" Tit-Bits.
"Lady," said Plodding Pete, "would you
help a man dat's seen Detter days?"
After a generous meal she ventured to
inquire: "When was it that you saw bet
tar days?"
"Last summer." Washington Star.
'Oh bother," complained t the modern
hero. "Can't you fix me up with a few
secret rebates instead?" Pittsburg Post.
"What a singular-looking counter
pane!" said the eminent physician.
"Counterpane.1" exclaimed his wife. "Yet
you are supposed to be one of the greatest
authorities in the country on brain dis
ease!" "I fall to see the connection. "
"That's a crazy quilt, you ninny."
Chicago Tribune.
Rustic What makes these blamed
things go?
Owner of Automoblle(who hadjust paid
a repair bill) Money. Chicago Tribune.
Whatever may be the artistic success
of the blade of grass game, the man who
can make two dollars grow where one
grew before reaps a more advantageous
harvest. Puck.
Our Landlady It's the strangest thing
in the world! Do you know, our dear old
pet cat disappeared very suddenly yester--day.
Excuse me, Mr. Rudolph, 4rill you
have another piece of rabbit pie?" Mr.
Rudolph (promptly) No, thank you. Our
Landlady an hour later) That Is three
more plea saved. This season will be a
profitable one indeed. London Tit-Bits.
"I have the greatest respect," said Wise."
"for the man who says what he things"
"That's me exactly," put In the bore,
who -adways prided himself on his can
dor. "And," continued Wise, meaningly, "the
greatest contempt for the man who says
what he thinks he thinks." Catholio
Standard and Times.
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
A telling situation The bank tel
ler's. . Many a prosy person Is well-versed
In poetry.
Even the playwright may write a
play wrong.
Many a man moves in the best clr--cles
who is also on the square.
Some fellows go shooting for game
birds and some merely for a lark.
It is just as well to &tso keep some
of your enthusiasm for a rainy day.
The books that are in greatest de
mand are the Bible and the-, pocket
book. .
A woman wants her nusband to be
an open book to her, especially a
check book.
The trouble with sober second
thought is that it seldom comes till
the morning after.
He who neglects to return a bor
rowed umbrella must -expect it to cast
the shadow of suspicion on hinu. - - -
Many a man In the theatrical busi
ness hitches his wagon to a star only
to find that the star won't draw.
REFLECTIONS OF A " BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.
A mean thing about swearing oft is
unless you do it every day or so.
. The more friends a man has the
more he'd better not asK them to do
anything for him. . . ...
A girl likes to have a man not make
love to her once in a while so she can
say he did. , . - -
The average man can take a tre
mendous Interest in most anything if
it Is of no consequence. ... ..
A woman brags ' about' the ' money
her husband makes so that their be
ing poor won't seem so had. .