The Topeka state journal. [volume], April 24, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEKA DAILY CT ATE JOUE1I Air FRIDAY EVEITHIO, APEIL 1, 1CC3.
TCPERi sira mum.
By FRANK P. MAO ICTAS;
Entered July 1. 1875, as aeoond-claas
natter at the postoffice at Topeka. Kan
.Vf.der the act of congresa. .
VOLUME XXXV..
No. 108
Official Stats Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
' TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily edition, delivered by carrier. 10
cants a week to any part ot Topeka. or
euburba. or at the aame price In any Kan
e towna where the paper baa a carrier
fretem.
y mall, one yea- $
fy mall, three monthe .
Saturday edition of dally, one year... 1.00
I TELEPHONES.
i foaineaa Office .....J............&a JJ
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J Reporters' Room Bell 2
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PERMANENT HOME.
Topeka State Journal building, V and
ao2 Kansas avenue, corner of KijChth.
Nw York Oirice: Flatlron building, at
Twenty-third street, corner Fifth avenue
and Broadway. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago Offloe: Hartford building. Paal
Block, manager.
Will LEA SKD wire REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
.The State Journal la a member of the
Associated Press and rereJvea the full day
telegraph report of that great newa or
ganisation for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka.
Tha newa Sa received fat The State Jour
Dal building over wlraa for tola aola pur
pose. j " Senator Beverldge has seemingly
4 constituted himaelf tha Hobson of the
i senate. .
Tha Japanese may - be excused for
being peevish and! In a bellicose state.
Their tax rate la $81 per capita.
No wonder London has formally de
clared war on the rats. It Is estimated
that they do $50,000,000 damage In the
city each year.
People of other localities will have to
hustle In the future to give the news
paper men of the state anything; Hke as
good a time as the Emporia folks did.
There are over four hundred tele
phone companies In Kansaa doing;
business in more than one county. It's
not ao many years ago that the tele
phone was a novelty and a decided
luxury. Now lt'e a necessity. . ,
Theodore Roosevelt, Jr., does not seem
to have proper respect for his famous
father. He Jumps into the limelight by
taking1 a trip in an army balloon. It is
not recalled- that the president has ever
achieved any notoriety in this fashion.
According to the present outlook the
chances for any kind of currency leg'
Illation being passed, at this session of
congress are mighty poor. That's bet
ter than the enactment of any such
measure as the Aldrlch elastic cur
rency bill.
Oklahoma's authorities have begun
proceedings to stop the publication of
advertisements soliciting the sale of
beer and liquor in the state. They are
certainly trying their best in the new
commonwealth to make It a prohibl
tlon state in fact.;.'
Every man who is healthy and has a
fair modicum of sense is generally
busy enough each day to keep out of
mischief. But: the real busy men of
the times are some of the candidates
for-, presidential nominations, particu
larly Mr. Bryan and Mr. Taft.
Topeka is to be next year's meeting
place of the Kansas editors. But it
.must be confessed that it was not the
city that attracted the editors but
rather the state legislature which will
be- in session here when the editors
coma. Still we will extend to them a
hearty welcome even under these con
ditions. - H. II. Tucker, jr., of the Uncle Sam
Oil company fame has been successful
in, wiping out of existence two indict
ments that have been found against
him. . And the federal authorities
promise to indict him a third time.
Sometimes prosecution, even in this
enlightened age, has the aspect of per
secution. Almost any one would like to be a
sailor in the navy if he could enjoy
once In a while the entertainment that
Is being showered on the jackles along
the Pacific coast. "If- they were not
; such a sensible lot It might spoil them.
Bob Evans certainly called the turn
when he said at the beginning of the
great cruise that it was likely to be a
frelic. .
It begins to look as though Mr.
Bryan thinks he may not have clear
sailing at the Denver convention. He
has reiterated the statement made in
the Commoner that a slush fund is
being used to obtain uninstructed dele,
gatlons with a view of obtaining one'
third of the delegates with the purpose
of using them to control the nomina
tion. . - : " . -
Most people will agree with Mr. De
Armond, the representative from Mia
eouri, to the effect that Speaker Can
non's plan for the naming of a commit
ida to investigate the paper trust Is
nothing more than a scheme to hood
wink the people that something Is
to be done in the premises, when, as
a matter of fact it could have no power
to put an end to the machinations of
the trust. It's buncombe, pure and
simple. . ' ' ' V
Leavenworth promises to be ' the
scene of considerable excitement dur
ing the next few days. Fred S. Jack
son, the state's attorney general, in
sists that the local authorities must
close the saloons, not only on Sundays
but all of the time, what Leaven
worth county needs is a John Wllker
on for sheriff and a John Schenck for
county attorney and then there wonld
not he any such thing as a saloon to
worry Mr. Jackson or anvbody else.
Some excellent results in the way of
cirlo reform have been obtained In St
Louis and they should have a salutary
effect throughout the country. One of
the city aldermen has been convicted
af bribery; and has actually been sen-
tenced to the penitentiary for-a term of
two years. Other "aldermen are to be
placed on trial there for- similar of
fenses and their conviction seems cer
tain. The days of boodle aldermen are
fast declining and such work as la being
done in St. Louis now will help them
speedily on their way.
FIGHTIXG JAPAN WITH BOYCOTT.
The "heathen Chinee" has advanced
considerably in public esteem . in re
spect to his : intellectual capacity sine
the days of Bret Harte. The respect
would be greater if .he possessed the
military genius of the Japanese, but be
Is advancing even without it, although
it is along lines peculiar to himself and
in harmony with what writers on Chi
nese subjects are fond of calling the
inscrutable Celestial mind."
The "incrutable Celestial mind." in
stead of seeking to Invent new and for
midable instruments forsheddingmen's
blood, has found an efficient weapon
in the boycott, which strikes terrific
blows at men's pocketbooks, which the
Chinese have found by experience is an
extremely vulnerable spot. According
to the New York Herald societies have
been organised, with headquarters at
Canton, which aim to inflict a loss to
Japanese commerce by means - of. the
boycott of $300,000,000, Mexican.
This sum represents $10,000 for every
dollar the Kwang-Tung government
was compelled to pay . the Japanese
owners of the steamship Tatsu Maru
for the arms and ammunition upon
that vessel, the seizure, of which and J
subsequent release upon Japan's de
mand form the basis of .the- boycott
movement. The men who are promot
ing the movement hope; to Involve the
entire empire, but In the opinion of
the Herald correspondent it is; doubt
ful if this can be accomplished.
There is no question, however, but
what great progress has been made in
the southern provinces. Over 150 deal
ers in Japanese goods in Canton have
signed an agreement not to sell such
goods longer and some merchants have
gone so far as to destroy the Japanese
wares In their stock. One incident of
the boycott was the refusal of coolies
to unload the cargo of a Japanese ship.
while the merchants of many cities
have served notice on their agents , not
to ship goods In Japanese bottoms.
This institution of a boycott on a
wholesale scale deserves the respectful
consideration of patriotic Americans,
for it is, after all, only following the
example of our colonial forefathers.
who greatly annoyed and inflamed
King George III by boycotting tea and
other commodities dealt in by English
merchants, . The . Canton Self Govern'
ment and National Disgrace societies
are doing on a gigantic scale in China
what was done in a small way at that
decidedly famous Boston tea party.
COURTS NOT IMMUNE.
-. Chancellor Day, of Syracuse uni
versity, said in a book that President
Roosevelt has ignored the constitu
tion and the laws, and that such be
havior on his part tends to anarchy.
He was accused . of unchristian de
famation, of the- president's character.
His accusers alleged, with ' much
plausibility. that the chancellor
charged the president with being an
anarchist. So Mr. Day was, arraigned
before a church tribunal and tried.
He was acquitted of using unchristian
language. His Judges said that to
hold him guilty would be to estab
lish a censorship over men's speech
that would destroy . freedom. The
world will approve the verdict.
In Chicago recently another, min
ister. Rev. Lincoln A.. Shute, tool! a
shot at Judge Walker, an Incumbent
of the bench of his city.. He said
that a decision of Judge Walker's
was neither law nor sense, but was
treason and anarchy. Strong lan
guage; but as it was not delivered
in court, and In no way affected peo
pie who refrained from reading the
Interview in which It was published.
it would seem to the layman that It
need not have bothered the judge any
more than Day's fulmlnations , trou
bled the president. If it was libel
lous, the judge had the same remedy
by either civil or criminal action that
any man would have. He could have
Mr. Shute arrested or he could sue
him,' One would think this enough
But there -seems '"w be a Crime of
lese majeste in this country no . less
than in monarchies. . Judge .Walker ,
rose on his judicial hind feet and
sent an officer for Mr. Shute. ; The
minister was charged with contempt
of court. He was made . to excuse
himself for saying . about Walker.
practically the same thing that Day
said about Roosevelt. He was sub
jected to a judicial sweating process.
The papers published what they call
ed his apology, and the account of
how he was allowed by this judge
to go back to his flock and not ' to
jail. . ' , '.
And he had said nothing about the
judge more than .what a church
tribunal properly said was - not an
unchristian utterance when uttered
about Roosevelt.
Are the courts immune from blunt
criticism? Are they such proper ob
jects of contempt that they must de
fend themselves by jail sentences
against criticism even the severe
criticism of the people? And will
the people stand for It?
Such utterances as Mr. Shute's
may be In bad taste. They may be
even actionable. But the court that
hales the citizen before it for such
things, and either fines, imprisons or
terrorizes him is utterly contemptible.
The man who does not feet contempt
for it is not worthy of freedom. The
contemptible thing suffers contempt.
Tbe court that Is so sensitive of con
tempt might fine every decent man
in the community if he voiced his
real feelings.
Over the behavior of those in the
presence of the court the Judge
should have full power. - Otherwise
the decorum of his proceedings Is im
paired. But when he resorts to the
tyrannical proceedings . of contempt
to punish those who offend his self
esteem by outside utterances he
.make himself contemptible, if he
is slandered . the' courts"' with' Juries
are' open to him. To take, jurisdiction
of his own cause marks him a cow
ard, i
roiEsjj
journal entries
If you think a tramp, has -no desire
for better, things, offeE-hinv'hash ,or
chicken. - . V Jf'--- . '
Because a kangaroo leaps 70 feet.
that's not an indication it Is afraid of
mice. . . . . . - . -
It ought' to 'be unlucky to get mar
ried on Friday, for why should that
day be an exception?
Touns- wives find it economical to do
their own cooking, because their hus
bands don't eat half as much as they
would otherwise.
---
Clergymen make a mistake when
they hold up the bee as a model of
industry because the bee works on
Sunday just the same as any other
day.
E
JJYBAWKER J7T3
Down around Salina the lilacs are
'bursting into bloom" and throwing
out in all directions a vaeiicious
scent."
Arline Anderson is the envy of all
the youngsters at Cherry vale. ' He Is
the possessor of a couple of baby al
ligators which were sent to mm rrom
Florida.
Winfleld is being bothered these
days with a number of strong,' able
bodied men who are following the
profession of - hobolsm. They have
been Invited to move on. . ;; ;
It cost three La Harpe-boys $25 to
disturb a religious meeting. The Sa
lina Journal remarks that it costs
some rjeople more than that each year
to go to church each. Sunday and he
good. . .." ;
Snake stories are beginning to come
in.- A Concordia man reports a
rattlesnake with about forty rattles
and a suspender button. The Wichita
bullsnake wears the diamond belt up
to date, however.
A' Hutchinson policeman shot nine
times at a negro who had hit him
with an overcoat, and failed to place
a piece of lead in the frame of the
African. The city will send tne ponce
out for target practice. ' '
Rather wonderful fish stories are
being related every day or so by the
Atchison Globe. They all concern
Lake Doniphan. The latest : one is
that a party of six men on Sunday last
caught 178 good fish there.
An old farmer near Leavenworth
stood off the sheriff and two deputies
with a gun when they went to his
place to arrest him for disturbing the
peace. The officers say that they
couldn't take him without killing him
or being killed, so they wisely re
sorted to a stratagem, and got the
old man to jail without bloodshed.
An English grain buyer from Liver
pool was in McPherson last week and
was greatly surprised to learn tnat
Kansas was not an arid region, so
says the Republican. Tbe man was
probably a fake of some sort. Any
grain buyers of Liverpool, where mil
lions of bushels of Kansas wheat are
marketed, knows more " about the
grain products of Kansas than many
people living jn tne state. . , .
i Dick- Bailey, traveling salesman ' for
a Kansas City clothing house says
that while at Iola he left some laun
dry there to be forwarded to him. He
received the bill a day or two ago,
and enclosed therewith was a note,
stating that the laundry had lost one
of his handkerchiefs and that if he
would let them know the value of the
same, the laundry would remit for the
handkerchief. Mr. Bailey replied with
a letter of appreciation stating that
he could not accept pay for the hand
kerchief. In telling the story, he said
that in all of his twenty years' exper.
ience as a traveling salesman over the
country, this was the first time that
he had ever received acknowledgment
or an error irom a laundry.
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
When the truth Is unfavorable. It
is gossip.
There are as many sides to a man
as to a question. ... .'
The more worthless a man . be
comes, the more grievances he has.
There are not many men who can
grow old without beginning to look
greasy.
No man is ever as Indulgent with
his children as he was with his wife's
little sisters before he married her.
..Tell a young girl she is bright, and
not say anytning about her looks.
and she will think you are slamming
ner.
The fact that two men - do not
agree should not attract any more
attention than an additional drop of
water in the river.
When a husband and wife meet on
the street, you can tell how they
get along at home by the way they
smile at eacn otner.
Young people are no more to - be
blamed . for what they dream in the
daytime, than - older ones are . for
what they dream at night.
. There are very few people who
are really well 'acquainted with them
selves. juo you - know yourself so
well that you can always tell what!
you will do?
A man will laugh' at- the story
tnat nut rat ner was once a wild young
man, but he keeps still and blushes
at the mere suggestion that his moth
er was once a wild young woman.
It does not pay to be too truthful.
A reporter was once discharged at
this office for writing, In his account
of a wedding: "The groom wore the
same suit that he wore at both of
his other marriages, and the bride
looked haggard in her white silk."
"This world," once remarked
very conceited man, "isn't run right,
ana never was.' -wen, you must re
member," said a man who heard
him, "that you wasn't here when God
organized things, and .he had " to do
it all alone, and run things for
great many years before you - got
here. .. .
Have you been out in the wed da.
and seen Mother Nature's new Eanter
bonnet? It is of delicate green with
a light fringe of dainty . crocuses
crown of violets, and rosettes of pret
ty kitten-breeches, with streamers of
grass. Her milliners, Sun and Rain,
provided the crocuses and .flowers.
Everyone is invited - to attend her
spring opening, tne rich and poor
alike. Especially are the poor In
vited. Go out Into the country, and
admire Nature's spring delights.. The
closer you live to Nature: the longer
you will live, ana tne more you will
enjoy life. Take your- children : with
you. She is a landlady who . loves
them.
J
XMfSjiS COMMENT
CARRYING THE BANNER.
For a year or mnm ha Via?, w-..
in circulation
the desperate financial conditions pre
vailing in Japan, but as they were ln-
"""e. ni;as wa japs continued to
brag of their- prosperity people felt
that no great sellance could be placed
upon them.
An investigation hu hun malo (in
Parisian bankers Anil rnnnpv - lAnr1avr
however, and they found that Japan Is
stone broke and in all sorts of diffi
culties. .- The banks throughout the
country have failed, one after another,
and the people are in . desperate cir
cumstances, and the government is un-
aDie to nna a remedy. This disclosure
from Paris. which enema authentic
will make it impossible for Japan to
borrow a dollar anywhere, and the Mi
kado is facing ruin.
It is the old story of biting off more
than .the biter can chew. Japan was too
ambiticus. She wasn't satisfied to gain
strength and prestige by slow degrees.
put must re a world power at one
jump. She has blown in millions for
ships and soldiers, and the country had
no genuine, legitimate resources to
back up such extravagance.
There will be' less talk of Japanese
wars from now on. and that is one
blessing. Emporia Gazette.
THE FAILURE OF TRAINING.
In Washington there Is a self-sup
porting women's . colony known as the
women's Commonwealth." The mem
bers of this organization regard mar
riage as a sin, or say. they - do. There
are, however. In the colony a number
of reformed sinners women who have
been married before. One of these took
her daughter,-. Miss. Adah Pratt, Into
the colony when she was a child, and
there she lived until she was twenty-
ine years old without forming the ac
quaintance of a man. It would seem
that was enough training to make a
Spin of the most gushing maiden, but
it wasn't. Recently Miss Pratt was In
troduced bv a girl friend to a fnu-
delphla hotel clerk, and in a short time
this cultivated Spin and the hotel clerk
were married. And to further repudiate
her training, It is said the girl did most
of the courting. Sin had no terrors for
her. And Miss ..Pratt is no exception.
Of the ten elrls originally in the colony.
five have eloped and married the hated
men. -. . , ' ...
Being an old maid seems to be a
natural trait, like warts, or dimples.
Cultivation doesn't help. Atchison
Globe. ' ,
" . RIGHTEOUS0 INDIGNATION.
It's sill very well to preach patience
and kindred virtues,, but there are
times when the meekest of men are
driven to strenuous protests against
the slings and arrows of outrageous
fortune. ' .
The editor of the Beloit Times, lor
instance, who is noted for his humble
demeanor and sweet and winning ways.
is at this moment as terrible as an
armv with banners; and who shall say,
after readlner the following irom nis
admirable paper that his wrath, is not
Justified:-.,. - -r'- ;- - . - -
"We would like to get the name of
the dod-blasted son-of-a-gun that sent
our name into a mall oraer wnisay
house. -- We Bret three circulars regular
ly three or four times 'a week, each
house offering us trial orders at re
duced prices.- iAidPwe - a temperance
It will be observed that the editor re
trains from Bayingr-whatrhe would do if
cunirtul the name of the field in hu
man form -who thus plotted against ma
peace and reputation. Some things are
best left to the Imagination, r The edi
tn itnwa fine taste in drawing a cur
tain over, the scene of prospective hor
rors, Emporia Gazette. . .
FROM OTHER PENS
PROFITABLE -RECEIVERSHIPS.
The-three receivers who held the, af
fairs of the Knickerbocker Trust com
pany, of New York, In their hands for
five months are still having trouble in
Kettinjr the I75.O0O apiece tnat .tney
have demanded for their services. This
pay is at the rate, of iibo.uw apiece per
annum. Tnev sent in dius, ii re
ported, for a good deal- more; but tne
court cut them down to tnas ismrva.-
tion modicum. Now lawyers are ngn
ine aaainst oaydng so much. '
It la contended tnat tne queauou uw
cerns onlv tne trust company, siuuo
that haa resumed payments to deposi
tors and ao is in the hands of its
stockholders. But it happens, also,
that the depositors surrendered many
rights and cannot get their money all
out for months, ana nave naa 10 irust
tha solvency of the company for a long
time ahead. Moreover, one poiem
factor In persuading -them to- consent
to leave their deposits was tne tnreat
that otherwise receivers would eat the
concern up. ...
VilAwerl in inch a lissht. It seems ail-
ficult for a court to permit sucn
monstrous drafts, on the treasury of
tha comnanv -for such services. It
mav be useless to ask it tne wnoie
hiineh would not have worked just as
hard If they had been promised $1,000
each per month as they did for $16,000
a month apiece. It brings scandal up
on the courts themselves to allow such
bills. Hartford Courant.
IMMUNITY- FROM WAR.
The president thinks that the time
has not yet come "wnen a proua na.
tion. iealous of its honor and con
scious of its great mission -in the
world, can be content to rely for
peace upon the forbearance of other
Dowers." and he adds that "it would
be equally foolish to rely upon each of
them possessing at all times and under
all circumstances ana provocations an
altruistic regard - for the rights of
others." This nation has never relied
"for peace upon the forbearance of
other powers," and has never trusted
to their "altruistic" sentiments. Yet
we have had an almost uninterrupted
peace in our relations with the great
powers of the world, since is Li w
have fought no flest class power. And
during, much of this - time we have
been, from the Roosevelt point of view,
almost wholly defenseless. As a mat
ter of fact, there is no nation in the
world that would ;make war on us un
less practically driven to it. The other
powers have never feared our army
and navy, but they have feared our
wealth and resources, .and have real
ized the impossibility of conquering
this country. It is to our vast size and
strength, and off fortunate Isolation,
that we owe our .immunity from war.
We doubt whether the possession of a
fleet three or four times as large as
that of Great Britain would give . us
any additional guaranty of peace.
Those apprehensive statesmen who
talk of the possibility of a German
army corps landing in New York, and
doing a lot of awful things, never stop
to tell us how that' army corps could
get out of the country. - Nor are they
much more definite in telling us 'how
it could get into it. Indianapolis
Newa
"..'-. " THE POET'S FANCY. r
The poet -sang of daffodils, !
- With all the poet's rapture, , ' - ',
And of "the spirit of the hills
Which none might hope to capture";
The poet In his attic bare .- ; .
And dark and uninviting, -Sang
of the daffodils out there.
Meanwhile with hunger fighting, n .
.The poet sent his song away, . - j .
And back the postman brought it, .
But finally, one blissful day, .
A publication bought it;
Tbe poet for a week or two -
Lived in a world of gladneaa:
The modest little check he drew
Had banished all his sadness. .
He'd never seen a daffodil, r
And penned up in hia attic. ! - ' '
He strayed not over any hill
To learn to be ecstatic; -Few
songs would ever serve to lift
Mankind to exultation
If poets never had the gift . .
Of glad imagination; -
Chicago Record-Herald.
Two Tickets 'for: the Poet. -"I
met -.William Sells, the circus
man, who died - not long -ago, once
only," said the long-haired man, as he
stopped writing a sonnet on his frayed
cuff, "but I have reason to remember
that interview.. . . -
On that day I was . practically
broke and had been downtown, tak
ing with me. a book in which I had
pasted a good many of my poems
which ; had 1 been published. There
were a few 'prose items, too, but the
bulk of the book was made up of
verse. .....
Having ho luck in finding any edi
tor who would - give me a commis
sion, I wended my way back home.
Passing Madison. Square, garden I saw
that Sells', circus was holding out
there. An -idea struck me, and in I
walked. -
I asked to see the press agent. He
was out,- but Mr; -Sells was In, 'so I
marched with all the importance I
could command into his private office.
-wnat . can I ao for : you?' saia
sells. . .
V.Well,' I stammered. 'I should like
two seats for tonights performance.
.Who may you be?" asked the cir
cus man. .
I told him my name, whereat he
smiled and said: '
" Oh, yes! I've heard of you. You're
poet, aren t you?
"I blushed. . : - 7
" Well, he continued 'but why
should I give you two tickets?
I said something . about the
courtesy of the profession and - then
added:
'Of course, you may not believe I
am the person I represent myself to
De. u you wtsn lor identification I
have here a book, of my accepted and
published poems, which
'But Sells started up and shouted
out to-a man standing by: - .
"Here, give this gentleman " two
seats for tonight!" and then turning
to me:
' I'd sooner give you ' the '" whole
house than read your poems!'
"But I got the tickets."
And the bard resumed his sonnet.
New York Sun.
Prejudiced Against Overcoats.
My venerated grandmother looked
at me rather scornfully, when I ap
proached her clad in mv first over
coat, and I'll never forget the 'roast
ing sue grave me for having such .a
garment," said Mr. J. M. Bond of
St. Louis, at the Hotel Kernan.
sne said that no sensible man
would descend to the effeminacy of an
overcoat and that the effect of wear
ing one was. to reduce vigor and the
hardiness that comes of battling, with
cold weather, ytie pointed to the fine
example of a statesman with whom
she had a personal acquaintance, the
Hon. Hannibal ' Hamlin, elected vice
president of the . United States with
Lincoln, who In- his - whole career
never put one, on, no matter 'how
low the i mercury -dropped.'.' Balti
more American. . .
News' In Turkey .
The Turkish, papers have publish'
ed their version of the tragic death
of Dom Carlos of Portugal. - In the
Levant Herald we read - that the
king and the crown prince "died on
their way back to the palace after
an excursion" . The Stamboul says
"Dom Carlos is dead. His son Man
uel has succeeded' to the throne.
There is, therefore, no change in the
destinies of the country." An this, of
course, is in accordance with the
traditions of the Ottoman press.
which is never allowed by the cen
sor to admit that any chief of any
state or any member of any - royal
family has died a violent death. It
stated that Alexander, of Servia, and
Queen Draga, "died of Indigestion, at
the - dead of night,-' that President
Camot succumbed to a "chill," and
that the Empress Elizabeth of Aus
tria, had a sudden attack of apop
lexy on one of the steamboats on the
Lake of Geneva. "-Westminster Ga
zette. r'...
. Appearances Deceitful. .
It was high noon when he entered the
crowded restaurant. He stood fully six
feet three Inches in height, was built
In proportion, and must have weighed
at least zou pounds. As he strode down
between the rows of tables he looked
as If he could eat up the house. He
took a seat beside a diminutive, fussy
little man with a bald head and chop
whiskers, who was bravely and suo
cessfully polishing off a sirloin steak.
with onions. T!e little fellow, with his
nap:. in tightly wedged under his chin
and his mouth full of dinner, looked up
In wonder at his gigantic side partner
and then down at the frail, cane-Dot
tomed chair, which creaked and groan
ed oiteousbr under its immense weight
But the big fellow took no notice of
the little one. When the waitress ap
proached him he gave his order In bus
inesslike fashion.
"Bring me." he said in a falsetto
voice, "a cup of weak tea and a couple
of doughnuts." New iork nmes.
Clothing to Save From Drowning,
A Norwegian inventor has patented
a suit of clothes which will protect Its
wearer against drowning.
The clothes are lined with a non-
absorbent material made of specially
prepared vegetable fiber which without
being too heavy will effectually hold
up the weignt or a man in me wuier.
Twelve ounces of the new material
will, it is claimed, save a person from
sinking. . .
The invention has been tested with
favorable results at Christiania. Suc
cessful trials were also made with ruga
made of the same material capable of
supporting two persons in the water.
Marine Journal.
REFLKCTIOX8 OF A BACHELOR.
tFrom the New Tork Press.
A. woman and her alimony are
soon married.
There's no way to blend red out
when it's hair.
Some of the devil's recruits ' must
make him hustle to keen his own job.
The way to make a girl believe
you when yau say you love her Is to
say so.
A fellow thinks he is mighty smart
to know somebody who knows
great man.
TBE EVENING STORY
" Saving the Ticket. . '.. .
(By Cterl Willisana.)
T suppose that an this seems very
tiresome to you," said pretty Nelly
Brlggs as she slipped into a chair be
side Carol. "It's not much like your
swell parties in the city. They must
be grand."
Carol smiled and nodded an absent-
minded assent. She was beginning to
hate the farce she was playing. Ill
health had sent her back to Broad
water, and her old associates in the
little town had taken it for grantea
that because her few dresses were
well tailored and her feminine knick
knacks were better than those sold at
the Boston store, she had prospered
mightily. . .
She had not told them that the
dresses, were last year's . styles pur
chased at the bargain counter after
Infinite sacrifice, and tnat the knick-
knacks which seemed bo precious in
Broadwater , eyes were the odds and
ends of remnant sales. She had per
mitted them to believe that, her life
was one round of gayety, and It was
all that they In their wistful
imaginings pictured. . ' ,
sne was beginning to hate herself
for the-acted lie. . At first it had been
very pleasant to . receive the homage
of her associates; to read the t nice
things that were said ; about her in
the Broadwater "Bulletin,''1. " and to
speak grandly of "In town,", but now
she found that It had set her. upon a.
pedestal apart from the rest and- she
was minded to step -down and mingle
with the crowds - .. -5 c;- -
Only two days remained' -of her
vacation, and this dance had been ar
ranged in her honor, marking 'the
termination of a round, of restlvitles.
As the guest of honor Carol ' shared
her dances impartially with all appli
cants, dividing a dance between three
or four of the boys, hut 'Nelly's re
mark had dampened her pleasure in
her belleshtp. - ' " .
it was not at all like the parties in
the city. The town hall was no more
dingy than the places she attended.
More, It was clean and bright, and no
insistent calls of the waiter jarred the
sensibilities and reminded the merry
maker that patronage of the bar was
considered indispensable.
A piano -and cornet constituted the
orchestra, and they were playing last
year's selections. Carol smiled as she
contrasted their playing with the
fifteen-piece bands at the summer
parks near town, but the atmosphere
was altogether different, and with a
sigh she realized that in a few days
Bhe would be going nack to the
tawdry glitter of the city, where she
was only one of the lookers on .at the
real events: and where her own field
was restricted' to the people in her
boarding - house, the few congenial
girls In the church club to which she
belonged and the half dozen men In
the office where she -snent her days
pent over a typewriter. -
T Seth: Morey came up -to claim the
nrst hair or the next waltz, and as
she placed her hand In his he said, as
Nelly Brlggs had -done before him:
I suppose it all seems foolish to
you," he said. "I guess you're used to
men in dress suits and -all that.
Carol thought of the men who
danced with their hats on the back of
their heads, and only smiled in reply.
I'm. tnmking or coming to, the city
next fall.'.' . continued Seth. "I guess
1 need a little polishing up."
xu r better on where you are.-',
said Carol wearily, fit yoUU " take
my advice, you'll etayr-ere." 1
ot course we . can't all be - as
clever as you and get anead as fast.
he said ' stiffly. 'There's Tommy
Madigan. I think be has the second
chance at this dance. '
Carol knew " as well as Seth that
Tommy was not next In turn, but she
accepted ' the. exchange and - went
whirling about, the hall with - him,
while seth sat in a corner, glowering
upon the crowd of dancers, and
fiercely assured himself that be was
foolish to imagine . that a girl like
Carol would care for a country fellow
tike mmseir,. after- she had met ' so
many smart men In the city.
Humbly he admitted the truth of her
suggestion that he .could not make
progress in town, and he succeeded in
becoming thoroughly miserable.
He was glad' when the two-piece or
chestra struck up "Home. Sweet
Home," and the girls hurried to the
dressing room, for their wraps. . He
waited at the door for Carol.
May I walk" home . with you?" he
asked as she came from the dressing
room In, her smart ooat and furs.
"If if you won't be cross again.". as.
sented Carol, slipping her arm through
his. "You know very well, she added
as they descended the stairs, "that
Tommy Madigan was not next on my
list, and you got angry because 2 urged
you to stay, here at home, instead of
trying your luck in. town."
'"I know I was foolish," he assented
a little sadly. "I'd stand-no chance
with those city-bred fellows. Tou al
ways were clever and could get ahead."
"It Isn't that." explained Carol. "I'm
going to tell you all about it, Seth. If i
all been a big mistake. Everybody up
here supposes that I am doing so well
that I can afford to come home for a
rest without waiting for the summer
vacation.- That's not it at all."
"But you're here, and it's only April,'
he reminded her.
"I'm here," she went on. "because
broke down trying to live and dress
myself and do everything on seven dol
lars a week. I had to have nice clothes
or I could not get a place.- I had to
put my money on my back instead of
into my food. They have no use for a
Klrl who does not convey tne impres
sion that the office is a prosperous one;
I'm sick and tired of It all and I loathe
the Idea of going back."
You wouldn't care to stay on here,"
he declared incredulously. -''You don't
have half the fun. Tills was a big
event tonight for us. . Just contrast It
with the times you have In town."
"I have, that a what makes me so
miserable," she confessed. "In town I
don't go to the great . balls you reaa
about. unless it's to stand outside in
the street and catch a . glimpse of the
rich people as they go in. My balls are
in halls smaller than this town hall,
and they're horrid. When. I go-to tne
theater it's to climb to the top gallery
to hang over the rail and see only a
part of the stage." .
And you a ratner stay nere, in
Broadwater?" he asked. "You'd rather
live in this sleepy old town than in tne
city, w'th all the lights and. life?"
Carol looked about her. An April rain
that afternoon had left the air cool and
sweet. The- scent of moist earth and
of growing things filled the air with
fragrance and the moon touched with
kindly light the little huddle of houses
gleaming white against the soft, new
green of the budding trees.'-
Then she - thought of the city, with
its noisome streets, the trenches
smelling of gas pipes and sewers, of
the reeking pavements and the harsh
glare of the electric lights.
She contrasted the quiet of the night
with the horrylnc, jostling throne of
humanityr men and-women who neve
were rested, who thought only of them
elves, and -had no time for othem."
"You dont know the city," she said,
with a little sob., in her votoe. "Ifg st
ram pi re, merciless- and menacing. It
sucka. your life blood and throws yo
aside for fresh victims."
. "Then why go - backf asked Seth
quietly. "I haven't spokecv before be
cause I thought that you never would
be -content with Broadwater again; bat
if "you want to stay, dear, oan't !yV
stay as my wife?" :'
The glad light sprang to Carol's eyee..
and the 'eternal feminine within her '
rose.' It seemed too easy: a rurrenderi
"I have the return half of my ticket,
she objected. ; "I can't waste that."
"Til rot nna. ton. he auaeested. "and
Weil gO UlgfUlW UB "'
... mm . nlv Via m fnl
a honeymoon," said Carols shyly, lt?
seems a shame to waste the ticket."
"We'll save it," cried Seth Jubilantly.?
"I'm grateful to the city, since It sent:
you back home to me." Copyrlghted" :
1908, by Associated Literary Press.);
I II 1 1 MM l.tj.
HUMOR OF TNE DAT
Laneutd Lannigan After all is said, pal.'.
money ain't everything. - - ,:
lry ueegan I knows irum upm-
nce. I wunst louna a dui near wi-
center uv a prohibition atate. Puok. .:
Deacon Are you willing to got '1
Unpopular Citlsen (dying) Oh, yea I
am. l
Deacon Well. I'm arlad you are, tor laax
makes it unanimous. Judge. ' ,
.. . - . t 4
T. what la dilettante T" l '
One whn would like to be. but
sucoeeds." Chicago Record-Herald.
Rev. Mr. Waters Look at Bill Burley,
fni lnatn-. Tt wu the Demon Ram that
made him the one-eyed, low-browed aotf
that he la today. j -
Cactua Charlie not altogeiner. nxwon
It mebbe made him a low-browed sot. but?
it was me that made him one-eyed. Ph(l-
adelpbia Press.' - ' 4
He Have you any fine-tooth eombsT
It No. but we have some fine tooth
brushes. Cornell . Widow. , : i
'Do you believe that- men and women-
should have equal rights?" -.
Weu I used to. but since I've been
married I don't dare to say BO." Cleve
land Leader.
-'?
ryverr Ttn vnn think tha time will eoineC
whea we snail have universal paaeat .
Ryer Not unieaa we adopt trial mar
riagea. Town Topics. t
Please Kive me two bills for my hat.
one for $10 to show my. husband and one ,
for m to snow my laay irienas. ueggen..
dorfsr Blatter.
Hurry up -there!" shoueed Noah to the
centipede. . .
weu. I'm lust aeour au m. remaraea
the olever animal, making use of a play
upon worm. puck. ...
Mr. Smith (after ill-tempered speech by .
Brown) Mr. Chairman and gentlemen.
rollowinar tne example or Mr. Brown s -
luncheon. I shall venture to disagree with
nun. jninon. .
Mr. Gadsbv fhURTriiur dos: I don't
know what we're going to do about poor.
darling Fido. - . .
.Mr. uaaaDy raumpa: wntut aua nusi
Mrs. GadabyOn surprise) Why, haven't
you noticed, now u-matea ne oecomes
wnenever in Daoy cnen e-russ.
Mlaa On her 1 understand. Professor.
that you have mastered all the modern
tonguea. : .' - . " ,.
Professor wise jlu dot mr win .
Brooklyn Eagle. . -
' Tker;"" ieiaUthe police maastfaW
"what , is the . charge against the priso
ner?" - - . ' . ' v
Havlnr an infernal maemne in nts Pos
session, Your Honor," replied the police-;;
man.
a nflrrhv or cbanfteurr auenea tne
magiatrate. Chicago Dally Newa
' De Style You say Miss Gotrex ! a
olever ice skater. Can she out the figure
eight?
Gunbusta No; put she cuts tbe figure
seven, reduced from eight. Harper's :
Weekly. . . - ; .J
' "What are you looking" so pleased',
about?" asked one shade of another.
"WelL" replied the one addressed, with
the ghost of a chuckle, "I took a little,
trip back to the old home and saw what
was on my tombstone." With an uncon- .
soious puffing of hia plumage be, passed':
on. Philadelphia Ledger. .
"Is she popular?" -
."Oh, very!" --
"What's the secret?" - ' '
Can't afford to out drees anybody."
Nashville American.
QUAKER REFUUC'I'IONS. . :
From the Philadelphia Record. '
Even when a fellow' is color blind
he may feel blue. ' : : . !
It isn't every fellow who can fall In 1
love and land on hi feet. -
It is often hard to distinguish be-,
tween dignity and a bluff. ' - "l ,
You can't tell from a singer's chest'
tone how much heart he puts Into it. ,
Experience - doesn't do. us much ..
good unless it is worth what we pay
for It : ; -.; - v .-: f
A bachelor is almost . as much
afraid of a summer girl as a summeri
girl is of a cow.
Many a fellow take his coffee and
rolls in bed, if the bed is wide
enough to roll in.
Wigg "What - a - stoop-shouldered
fellow Bighedde la" Wagg "Yes,
that comes from carrying his self
conceit." -. . '.- .- "i
Blobbs "Did . you hear, about
Bjones? He shot himself." Slobbs
"Suicide?" Blobbs "No, I think it
was accidental. He wasn't married,
you know."' : , , , , ;
' Sunday School Teacher "Did you "
ever forgive an enemy?" Tommy
Tuffnut "Wunct." Sunday School ,
Teacher "And what noble sentiment '
prompted you to do it?" Tommy Tuff
nut "He wui bigger dan me."
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News,
If you want to make a fool ahgry
call him one. -
Grass widows are never as green as
they pretend to.be. .v
A fair exchange is better than two
of the other , kind. .
Philosophy gets a Jolt when yoxii
try to use it -on yourself. !
He who attempts to butt through
a crowd makes haste slowly. .
A woman seldom laughs at man's
jokes unless she -has an ax to grind),
Some men get stage fright in their,
knees every time they see. a police-'
man. - .
A woman cares not who listens so
long as she is ; permitted to do the
talking. ;
Any advance In the price ot shoes
will cause some people to kick more
than ever. . -
If you have occasion to tell a man
what you really; think of him use a
long distance telephone.- : . .
Too many men crowd Into an up
holstered elevator rather than make
aa attempt to ollmb the ladder at '