The Topeka state journal. [volume], June 15, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOUIUTAIr nOHDAY EVE3II7Q, J UUE 15, 1CC3.
T0FEE1 STkTE JOURSiL
By FRANK P. MAO LBNHAJT.
j Centered July t 1ST, aa second-jlfcsS
(matter at the postofflce at Topeka. Ksa..
runoer ins act or conjrrBM.1
fa
OLUME XXXV.....
.No. 154
Official State Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TEAUB OF SUBSCRIPTION.
S Dally edition, delivered by carrier. 1
ents a wsea to any part of Topeka. or
suburbs, or at the same price in any K
aa town where the paper has a earner
mail, one year -S
By mall, three monthe ,-J5
Saturday edition of daily, one year...
TELEPHONES.
-Boatmiea Office ...
Business Office
Reporters' Room ...............
Reporters' Room
Frank P. MicLmnan
Bell tPI
Ind
Ind. TW
Topeka State Journal balldlnff. and
Oz Kansas avenue, corner of ElghtB.
New York Offloe: Flatlron building, , e
ffwenty-thlrd street, corner Fifth areaue
Chicago Office: Hartford bulMlne, Pert
mwi, tnancrff.
IXXIi LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
Th. Hf.ta Jnnrnlll fa tnMir.Der Cf tbe
Associated Press and receives the fuU day
telegraph report of that irreat news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka. -The
news la received fn The State Jour
nal building; over wires for una aoie pur
pose.
Considerable doubt will soon de
velop. If It has not already, as to
the right-mindedness of Mrs. Evelyn
Nesbit Thaw. She has Just delivered
herself of an opinion that Harry
Thaw, her notorious husband. Is sane.
George Gould says that his railroad
properties are now comfortable. Com
fortable for him, perhaps, but how
bout the shopmen, and trainmen and
other employes of his various systems
who have been laid off from work for
an Indefinite period.
There never was a national conven
tion of any party, or a large assem
blage of any kind, that did not con
tain a few men who would Insist on
having their little joke. And the Re
publican national convention, about to
convene at Chicago, Is no exception.
The fine Italian hand of the jokers,
who are alrVady on deck at the Windy
City, is shown in the suggestion that
Dave Mulvane has a chance to get
the vice presidential nomination.
Senator I. D. Young of Beloit has
withdrawn from the race for the Re
publican congressional nomination in
the Sixth district. What's he going to
do now with that wonderful personal
platfrom of sixteen more or less
sturdy planks which he went to such
great pains to draw up and on which
he intended to make the race for the
nomination? If It were not for the
fact that the planks are too heavy to
float, he might cut it up, make a boat
out of It, and do rescue work in the
flooded territory of the state.
It's all over now but the shouting.
Nick Longworth, who has said on oth
er occasions that it Is unfair to make
him play the role of the Baby Mc
Kee of the present administration
just because he happens to be the
son-in-law of Mr. Roosevelt, declares
that Mr. Taft will not only beat the
"allies' at Chicago and walk off with
the Republican nomination for the
presidency, but he will also beat Bry
an on election day. This settles a
couple of disturbing questions, or it
ought to.
Both of the national conventions of
the big parties will be conspicuous in
one respect. Two of New York's for
mer political war horses will be ab
sent from them. Tom Piatt will not
attend the Republican one and the
Democratic one will not be graced
with the presence of David Bennett
Hill, who some years ago held the
firm conviction that destiny had carv
ed him out to be a president of the
United States. His thoughts along
this line was as Tar as he ever got. He
never even came near getting the
presidential nomination although he
was an avowed candidate before a
couple of the conventions.
A New York delegate to the Chicago
convention Is said to be armed with a
letter from President Roosevelt which
will be used, If necessary, to prevent a
"Roosevelt stampede." In this letter.
It Is said that the president brands aa
an insult any attempt to force the
nomination upon him. If the con
vention should develop Into such an
uproarious affair as some of the state
eenventlonn have in the south. It
would seem that a few gatltng guns
would be more serviceable for the
purposes Intended than one lone let
ter. But possibly the president pins
his faith in the old adage that the pen
is mightier than the sword.
Henry Watterson says, "Nobody can
be a Democrat and. a prohibitionist.
If the venerable principles of Democ
racy mean anything, nobody can at the
same time advocate personal liberty
and then undertake to dictate what
some other man shall or shall not
' drink. The New York World. Cora
" mentlng on this the New York Tribune
says: The experts having thus agreed
that no Democrat can be a prohibition
ist, and tbe south, where all the Demo
crats were, having gone over body,
soul and breeches to prohibition, the
question "What is a Democrat?" a.p
parently has now only an historic in
terest. We suggest that It be amended
Into "What was a Democrat?" In that
form It will go down with "Who struck
Billy Patterson" among the melan
choly examples of unanswered curios
ity.
George Meredith, the author and
poet, has attained the ripe age of
eighty years. That he Is still vigor
ous in mind and body and that the fire
of patriotism still burns within him
with the same unquenchable energy
that Is wont to prevail in the hot
blood of youth is evidenced by his
most recent poem, a magnificent work
entitled. "The Call." which is publish
ed, In the current Collier's. It Is
stirring appeal to Great Britain to
keep up her martial strength and
there. is a great truth In the last stan
za which runs:
The grandeur of her deeds recall;
Look on her face so kindly fair;
This Britain! and were she to fall.
Mankind would breathe a harsher
air;
The nations miss a light of leading
rare.
With all her faults, Great Britain,
during the past couple of centuries
has been one of the greatest of com
pelling' forces In the spread of a
righteous civilization among the four
corners of the earth.
FLOOD VICTIMS OARED FOR.
When the final history of the floods,
which have ravaged various portions
of Topeka during the past ten days,
has been written, there will be one
chapter in it, at least, that will be
pleasing to contemplate. It will tell In
glowing terms of the women and girls
who are - members - of, and associated
with, the U. and I. club and the officers
of the Provident Association for their
ready, efficient and self-sacrificing
work in extending much needed succor
to those of feeble means who were
forced to leave their homes without a
moment's notice and seek shelter where
they could.
Luckily for them the city had an
adequate place in the Auditorium, that
big and expensive building which some
folks are wont to frown on occasional
ly, but which has proven a blessing to
the people and the city in more ways
than one since it was erected. Here the
flood sufferers gathered, and in great
numbers on Saturday when the Shun-
ganunga joined the Kaw in its havoc
wreaking efforts. And the members of
the U. and I. club and the officers of
the Provident Association were on hand
to care for them as soon as they ar
rived. They were made more comfort
able than one would suppose, under the
circumstances. Food of good quality
and sufficient in quantity, a good por
tion of It donated by the liberal res
taurant men in the city, was provided.
as were cots and bedding. In any num
ber of instances clothing was supplied.
To many who were forced, for the
time being, to accept of this bounty,
their stay in the Auditorium for a cou
ple of days and nights, has really seem
ed to be something in the nature of a
picnic. In the adequate care which
was given, they seemed to forget their
misfortunes of the moment, and a
wry face among them was hard to find.
There was every reason for wry faces
for a good many of these unfortunates
had lost their all in the way of house
hold goods, or had had them damaged
beyond repair. Especially is this true
of the residents from the eastern and
southern sections of the city who were
literally overwhelmed by the sudden
and unexpected rise of the Shunga
nunga. It will be necessary to care for a good
many of these folks for a day or two
until their homes can be made habitable
again and contributions in the way of
clothing of all sorts for men, women,
children and babies will be appreciated
by those who have worked so hard and
with such success to make these vic
tims of the flood most comfortable.
GOVERXOB HUGHES' VICTORY.
Governor Hughes has won a great
victory for law and order, not onlyjn
New York, but also throughout the
country, in forcing the legislature of
the Empire state to pass laws which
win prohibit betting on horse races at
the race tracks as well as in places
removed from them. For a number
of years an anomalous condition has
prevailed In New York concerning the
betting on races. It Is forbidden by
the constitution of that state. But the
legislature a number of years ago
passed a hybrid sort of a law which
made it a crime to bet on races at any
place in the state except at the race
tracks. Under this law gambling of
tremendous proportions has been in
dulged In at the large race courses in
the state and also at poolrooms which
were run on the sly at other places
throughout the state. Governor
Hughes determined that this was an
evil which should be eradicated and
after a tremendous fight against the
gambling politicians who abound In
New York, and in both of the big
political parties there, he has had laws
enacted which will stop this gambling.
The cry has gone up that racing on
the enormous scale with which it is
practiced in New York can not be car
ried on profitably without betting, for
crowds sufficient to support It can not
be attracted to the tracks If they are
not to be permitted to bet. It remains
to bo seen whether or not this is so.
But It is far better that racing be
killed than that the constitution of
New York or any other state be pros
tituted for the benefit of a rew big
gamblers, who profit huge gains off of
hordes of small gamblers.
LINCOLN'S POOR PROPHECY.
When Lincoln, standine In the Na
tional Cemetery at Gettvsburs-. In th
autumn of 1863, said, "The world will
little note, nor long remember, what
we say here," he did not fully realize
the effect that his words would have.
None of his utterances haa hwn
widely remembered and quoted than
tills snort but telling speech. It con
tains but 265 words, and ncrnnlnri In !.
delivery less than three minutes, but it
was a most effective composition and
win never pass out of the memory of
men.
A new American line steamship has
been named the President Lincoln, and
recently a distinguished pomnnnv nf
Grand Army men placed a bronze me
morial laDiet on the vessel, containing
Lincoln's Gettysburg speech. And thus
In spite of what Lincoln thought of
what he was saying at Gettysburg, the
vessal which bears his name win carry
the speech back and forth over the
Atlantic, and thousands, through thin
medium alone, will read the words and
note the sentiment of his wonderful
utterance.
iCty Boys for the Country.
On general principles it is not a
good thing for boys whose brains ars
worked as hard as the modern public
school works them to devote their sum
mer vacation to farm labor, which is
especially severe on unaccustomed
muscles. School vacations are not de
signed to supply opportunities for
earning money, but to provide periods
of needed rest, and if conditions were
ideal every student would so use his
probably too scanty leisure.
Conditions are some distance from
the ideal, however, and as many city
boys simply can not spend their vaca
tions in the play that is rest, it is pre
iinnnhivwcli that the state agricultural
commission is executing a systematic
plan under which their boys are at
least saved the crudest laoor oi an,
which is that of looking for employ
ment where every place has a hundred
seekers, while by it the farmer, ever
complaining at the scarcity of help in
his busy season, is provided with the
hands to whom he is supposed to be
willing to pay good wages.
Both boys and farmers are said to
have been pleased with the commis
sion's experiment as tried last year
on a small scale, and certainly work
on a farm during the summer months
is more like a vacation than work in
a shop or office would be. It Is at
least a change of scene, with good air
to breathe in the daytime as much
can not be said for the sleeping rooms
of the average farm house and lack
of skill will probably prevent the per
formance, if not the imposition, of
tasks unduly onerous. New York
Times.
JOURNAL ENTRIES
The height of the ridiculous varies
according to the feet and inches in
men's stature.
It is quite as important for a per
son not to tell all he knows as it is
for him to know anything.
The geniuses of today do not, like
Dr. Johnson, touch every post they
pass. They touch every friend.
An interesting contemplation is as
to what men would be like if they had
the power to make themselves over.
Maybe fashions change because of
their desires to dodge some of the
people who insist on following them.
J A Y HAWKER JOTS
An Atchison traveling man's favor
ite story is that at the poorest country
hotels the landlord, in his shirt
sleeves and smoking a cob pipe, will
say: "Well, did you get everything
you wanted?"
When the young men in Spring Hill
imbibe too freely they indulge in
"shirt tail" parades through the rjrln-
clpal streets of the town. The Spring
Hill New Era threatens to print some
of their names if they do not quit
their "disgusting" practices.
The Meade Globe apologizes to the
two or three thousand new settlers in
that county for the weather during
May. It states positively that never
before was such measly weather fur
nished the county and promises a
better variety In the near future.
A monstrosity in the shape of a calf
was born to a common farm milch
cow down near Portis recently. The
animal had two well developed heads,
four eyes, six legs and two tails but
could not bear up under the strain, so
died before it had a chance to do
much good for this world. The own
er refused $500 for the carcass of the
strange little calf. He.no doubt would
have been offered much more for it,
had it only lived.
A combination of tragedy, senti
ment and sensational news from the
Osage Public Opinion: "About 10
o'clock Saturday night Osage City had
another 'horrible example' as the re
sult of too much booze, when, in the
twinkling of an eye, Frank Samuel
son, well known here, was hurled Into
the great beyond by a bullet fired
from a 32-callber revolver In the
hands of his nephew, Joseph Sahlberg
murdered In cold blood at the rear
of the Dumas billiard hall."
A few days ago, says the Emporia
Gazette, when L. H. Barnes, a mail
carrier, opened one of the big square
mail boxes that are on some of the
corners in the residence parts of town.
ne rouna a pacxage tnat lew mall
carriers are ever called upon to de
liver. It was a big black cat, and did
n't wait to be gathered up with th
rest of the contents of the box, but
made a dive past Barnes' shoulder
and got away.
The school children s examination
papers In Chase county develorjed
some interesting geographical data.
Among the answers reproduced by the
Cottonwood Falls Leader were these:
The equator is a line drawn around
the earth, the hottest place on earth.
Equator is a hot place run
ning through the earth.
Equator is where the Bun is near the
earth and it is very hot. A
glacier is a mountain that travels at a
slow rate over the country.
Equator is a pole standing in the cen
ter of the, earth. The at
mosphere is the circumference of the
air. Wichita, in . southern
Kansas, Is the home of the insane.
About a month ago Sam Magaw
caught a wounded sea gull, while
making his rounds on route No. 1,
and brought It to town. It had either
been shot or flown against a telephone
wire, one of Its wings being broken
at the first Joint. Mr. Magaw took
the bird to Ward's livery barn and
Mort Taylor took It home. He am
putated the Injured wing at the first
Joint and the foreigner seems to be
getting along Just as well as though
it were in its native home on the coast.
He feeds It worms, corn, bread
crumbs, etc., and keep a tub of wat
er handy for It to play in. The chick
ens and pigeons are its only compan
ions but it seems contented. It has a
sharp bill like a chicken and feet like
a duck. A man over near Russell
found an Injured sea gull just the oth
er day and it attracted no little atten
tion because they are seldom seen in
this section of the country. Downs
Times.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
Many a man is too lazy to marry a
rich widow.
A beauty specialist sometimes en
counters hard lines.
Most married men growl just to
keep from forgetting how.
How much farther money would go
If it didn't travel so fast!
The young M. D. doesn't try to cure
his sweetheart of infatuation.
How foolish a man feels when he
hears of a baby being named after
him!
One way to induce a little girl to
keep her hands clean is to give her a
pretty ring.
Where a woman sees only a beauti
ful lawn, a man sees only trouble with
a lawn mower.
Some people are so cautious that
they do not attempt to climb the lad
der of fame because they are afraid
of getting a hard falL
KANSAS COMMENT
GERMS LURK IN PLAYING CARDS.
The latest scare comes from London
In a dispatch which declares that ugly
microbes lurk in playing cards that
have been used too often.
All sorts of suggestions occur to the
reflecting mind in connection with
these playing card germs. The char
acter of the germs is varied and they
reach both the body and moral char
acter of their victims.
First the hearts are liable to con
tain the most germs because they are
often selected for trumps in whist
games, and if there is one thing for
which the average whist player is
noted more than for another, it is fru
gality with trumps. He will cling to
his trumps until the last few tricks,
thus subjecting them to Inoger contact
with the germ laden fingers.
Charles Lamb, the noted writer and
wit (1775-1834) once remarked to his
partner at whist: "If dirt was trumps,
what an invincible hand yours would
be!" Now it not infrequently happens
that hands, clean before the game, be
come decidedly unclean in the process
of play. A delicate, well manicured
lady, has been known to soil her. hand
and arm by hiding an ace up her
sleeve. The most innocent beginner
has often become tainted within and
without by reneging and capturing a
trick later by that procedure. The
microbe has left the card and, crawl
ing along her hand, has entered her
very soul.
There is no limit to the suggestions
contained in the London dispatch and
the moral is clear.
Buy a new deck and wash your
hands, Incidentally giving your soul a
scrub, at the end of each game.
Wichita Beacon.
A NOBLESFIRIT.
Sunday a priest was attacked in a
Missouri town Just as he finished the
morning services. The members of his
flock who were filing out of the church
saw a man spring upon him from be
hind and stab viciously at the father,
and the Injuries . inflicted may cause
death. There is apparently no cause
for the crime, and it is the opinion of
the people who are In a position to
know that the assailant was tempor
arily insane.
The case is in many respects similar
to that of Father Leo Helnrlchs who
was killed at the altar of his church
in Denver on Easter Sunday. In that
case the murderer was a man whoso
mind was beclouded with the teachings
of death which he had absorbed
through his study of anarchistic tracts
and books. The men were entire
strangers.
In the more recent case, the assailant
of the priest was a member of his
parish, a prominent farmer and one of
the most liberal contributors to the
church. What caused him to commit
the crime remains largely a mystery.
It is even a more peculiar case than
the Denver murder.
But perhaps the most remarkable
part of it all was the first utterance
of the priest who, stricken from be
hind, first thought of the man who had
attacked him and said he must have
been mad. There should be no effort
made to punish the would-be murderer
until his sanity had been established,
said the priest. He was sure the man
who attacked hinv must have been
mad. .
There are not many men who when
attacked in this manner would first
have asked that mercy be shown their
assailant. There Is no nobler spirit
than this. Salina. Journal. .
FROM OTHER PENS
BALLOONS AND WARFARE.
Interesting experiments are being con
ducted by the army officers in charge
of the balloon flights that are being
taken from this city, to ascertain the
freedom with which wireless messages
can pass between- a balloon and a
ground station. Thus far it has been
demonstrated that communication can
be maintained in this manner over a
considerable distance. While this is an
im-portant discovery, far more so will
be proof that messages can be sent
from a balloon to a ground station.
The war balloon is not likely to be
developed into more than a means of
observing the position of an enemy's
forces, and ascertaining his probable
strategic plan. Heretofore communica
tion has been effected with headquar
ters from such balloon by means of
flag signals and occasionally by sun
flashes. But such signals are subject
to the objection that they may be read
by the enemy. Wireless communica
tion would in all likelihood remain se
cret, although even that must be safe
guarded by the adoption of reliable
"tuning." If it Is found that the bal
loon can carry a sending apparatus and
maintain uninterrupted communication
with the earth the function of the ob
servation gas bag is greatly extended.
If such an aeroplane as that of the
Wright brothers, of whose experiments
In North Carolina encouraging reports
continue to come, can be developed to
the point of safe flight over consider
able distances and under complete con
trol, it may replace even the wireless
balloon. Its low soaring flights at high
speed over a field occupied by a hostile
force would probably enable the opera
tor or a companion to ascertain much
of great value. Such a flight of course
would be subject to the risk of attack
by sharpshooters, but If the present ex
pectations are realized the speed of the
practical aeroplane of the future may
be so great that It will be possible for
a daring, skilful operator to send his
machine over a wide area covered by
hostile forces and return to base before
his presence has been sufficiently adver
tised alons the line to make him a
target. Washington Star.
AMERICAN HUSBANDS SAFER.
The longer the list of marriages be
tween American heiresses and foreign
noblemen grows the more certain it
becomes that the average results are
below the American standard. The
proportion of divorces and separations
Is higher and the percentage of unmis
takably happy families is smaller than
in any part of the social world of this
country. In fact if the average of
shipwrecks in marriage were as for
midable in the United States is it Is
in the matrimonial ventures - which
take American girls to Europe to be
the mistresses of old castles, palaces
and mansions the world would be fill
ed with contempt for American men
and women alike. It would be said
that American civilization was mani
festly a failure and foredoomed to de
cay, unless it could be reformed
radically.
But these obvious facts will not pre
vent international marriages of the
usual kind. The temptations seem too
strong to be resisted. Every bride who
takes the risk believes that in her case
the dangers which have wreexed so
many homes will be averted. She
thinks that her venture will be of the
happy kind seemingly rare. American
men of the rich and favored classes
are partly to blame for all this. If
they were better representatives of the
manhood of their own country, in
many cases, the titled wooers from
abroad would find fewer wives and
fortunes In the United States. Cleve
land Leader.
WHAT THE BRAKEMAN SAID.
The shades of night were falling fast
As through the railroad car there passed
A brakeman with a visage red.
And this is what he loudly said:
"B-r-r- gib."
His hair was short, his jaw was long.
His lungs were leathery and strong.
And as we sped the landscape o'er.
Once more he gave this awful roar:
"B-r-r gib."
Z9 "Tf "marked an ancient Miss.
,el me. please, what town this is?"
The brakeman rolled his honest eye. .
likewise his quid, and made reply:
"B-r-r gib."
nj'nl5ound tor Niles." the drummer said.
Is this the town that lies ahead?"
The brakeman sighed with weary air.
And once again we heard his blare:
"B-r-r gib."
Then up we rose and madly hurled
That brakeman forth into the world.
And as he fell, with anger vain. .
We heard again the wild refrain:
"B-r-r gib."
Next morn they found him aa he lay.
And planted him without delay.
And now they've got another cuss
Who calls the town and calls it thus:
"Bis-z-sjkghtz."
St. Louis Times.
Fair Street Car Conductors.
"Not long since while riding in a
street car in the city of Guadalajara.
Mexico, I was astonished to be asked
for my fare by a sweet-faced, dark
eyed senorita whose natty uniform re
vealed the fact that she was the con
ductor of the car," said Col. C. P.
Goodacre, of Kansas City.
"The young lady could smile a lot.
but was as shy in her use of English
as I was of .Spanish, yet I made out
that the company was experimenting
with female conductors and the chances
were that they would be used per
manently, instead of men.
"Later I learned from one of the
company officials, a German, that the
women conductors were giving excel
lent satisfaction as being superior in
courtesy and honesty, but that they
lacked other qualifications, such as to
replace the motormen in energencies
to handle the machinery, and to eject
any passenger for bad conduct or re
fusal to pay his fare." Baltimore
American.
Man like a Mermaid.
If it were not for his sex, Hal J.
Browning, who was yesterday admitted
to the city hospital from the Mills ho
tel, where he was stopping, would have
made an excellent mermaid. Browning
Is suffering from ichthyoysis, other
wise known as the fish scale disease.
From his feet midway to his chest hid
skin is covered with scales resembling
In every particular those of a Uh.
Science so far has been unable to trace
the cause of the disease, but that it is
practically incurable has long been
discovered. It is exceedingly painful,
causing wholesale itching, and at the
Joints, where the scales break with
every movement, the torture is agon
izing. Browning will be kept in a hot
bath most of the time and have his
skin rubbed with unguents to give him
relief. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Life Is Cheap In Chicago.
The cheapness of human life in
Chicago is made manifest by statistics
for the month of April.
In this city of more than 2,000,000
inhabitants there were 331 deaths
during those thirty days. Of these
not fewer than 133 were unnecessary,
allowing that every one of the 198
deaths from "natural causes" could
not have been prevented by the exer
cise of skill.
There were 63 suicides, to begin
with. Then 23 persons lost their lives
through railroad accidents, and 2 were
killed, by automobiles. Burns and
scalds killed 9. Through falls 27 per
sons died and 2 were drowned. There
were 17 homicides.
When these facts are grouped, they
make a shocking record, which
should not only Induce every Chi
cagoan to be more careful, but also
set men to thinking how conditions
may be bettered so that murder shall
be less frequent and suicide may be
less frequently resorted to as a means
of escape from life. Chicago Journal.
Maine's Champion Forgetter.
The most forgetful man has been
found. He lives in a little town In the
upper part of York county. He fell 111
with symptoms Indicating appendicitis
and submitted to an operation. To
their great surprise and embarrassment
the surgeons found that the appendix
had already been removed. The patient
afforded the necessary explanation
when he recovered from the ether by
stating that he remembered then,
"come to think of it." that he had been
through a silmilar operation two years
ago. Kennebec Journal.
Only Negro Forester.
Among the many ways in which
southern Franklin county stands out
from the rest of the world is the fact
that in this section Is located the only
colored forester in the United States,
and probably the only one In the world,
with the exception of a few engaged In
forestry work in South Africa. Phila
delphia Record.
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
The fellow who pats himself on the
back has no difficulty in standing
pat.
When a man has toothache he is
apt Jto envy the fellow with false
teeth.
Even with an extensive vocabulary
it is possible to be a man of few
words.
Lots of men never know which side
of the fence they are on till they fall
off.
Unfortunately a man's obituary no
tice always comes too late to get him
a job.
Love will find a way, but it takes
something more substantial to pay the
way.
Blobbs "Why do those two girls
both hate you so?" Slobbs "I told
them they looked alike."
There are people who seem to spend
all their lives trying to catch up with
their good resolutions.
Blobbs "Do you think we shall
ever discover the secret of perpetual
motion?" Slobbs "It's merely a case
of making both ends meet."
The dead are soon forgotten. In
fact, most of us are lucky if we are
not forgotten while we are alive.
Some men want the earth, but the
fact that it revolves on its axis proves
that there is enough of it to go
around. ' '
Any man can be thankful for what
he gets, but few of us consider that
we ought to be thankful for what we
don't get. -
' Hoax "Do you have easy hours In
the rubber factory?" Joax "No; I
have frequently worked 12 hours at a
stretch."
Doctor "If you suffer so from cold
in the head I sould advise a nightcap."
Patient-'-'To apply er Internally or
externally?"
THE EVENING STORY
Humble Folk..
'XS '' By O B. Lewis.
' In a way they had been engaged for
a year or more Tom Salters and Linda
Breen. in a way, I say, because the
humble people living in the coves or
scattered cabins on the sides and crests
of the southern mountains do not speak
of "engagements."
It is taken for granted that when a
"young feller" "hangs around" the
cabin of a mountaineer possessing a
marriageable daughter he has matri
mony in view, and when the nearest
neighbors are called In to see the cou
ple jump the broomstick or stand up
before a traveling preacher to be made
one, there is no surprise and little
comment. -
The father of Linda Breen had no
questions to ask of - Tom Salters. He
had known his father for years. Tom
has as yet no questions to ask of Lin
da's sire. Neither Linda nor her moth
er had referred to the subject. Some
day when Joe Breen and the young
man were out hunting squirrels or
walking to the village together Tom
would suddenly say without preface:
"Reckon me'n Linda better git
hitched."
And the father of Linda would throw
away the old quid, bite off another,
and after chewing away for a couple
of minutes would reply:
"Yes, I reckon."
That evening the father would have
a few words to say to the mother in
private, and at a later hour she would
casually remark to the daughter:
"Tom Salters wants you, and I reck
on you'll be goln In a few days."
Nineteen times out of twenty the
marriage would follow there would be
a new squat of land taken up a new
pole cabin built, and another family
would go on making mountain history
But In this case no marriage followed.
It was all on account of the arrival of
Tom Salter's uncle from a village in
the lowlands. He was in business down
there and wanted help, so he had come
for Tom.
Tom had no education, but he had
native wit. He was known to be a
"right smart" younjr man. The uncle
talked of a broader field, a chance for
education and a rise in the world.
Linda must wait. At the end of a
year or two, Tom could come back and
marry her and take her away.
And in the twilight of a summer's
evening Tom and Linda sat on a log
in front of her father's cabin, a space
of a foot between them. Both looked
into vacancy, and he told her of the
plan.
He talked In a ierky. disjointed way,
but she understood as well as if he had
been a silver-tongued orator. He had
asked for her hand. He meant to marry
her. He had no thought of disloyalty.
The road seemed straight and plain to
him, and he did not dream that there
was a knife at ner neart as sne ."
tened.
Men will never' understand how far-
reaching woman's Intuition is. The girl
followed Tom's words, and yet she saw
months and months and months ahead
of them.
Two or three times she Instinctively
reached out her hand as If to detain
him. but drew it back without his nav
ing observed the action. Two or three
times there were tears in her eyes, but
she took care that he should not see
them.
"Well, what do you reckon?" he
asked as he had finished and the
silence had lasted for a long minute.
"Better go, reckon," was the reply.
What other answer could she have
made? A tousled, barefooted, ignorant
girl of the mountains, and yet would
her woman's pride seek to detain
him when he ' had proposed the
They sat together for five minutes
longer, and tnen tney separated, sne
to enter the cabin and seek its dark
est corner to let her tears flow, and
he to shake hands with her father
and mother and bid them good-by.
It may be said of the lovers that
both could "write a scrawl or two, ana
both could read a scrawl or two," so
scrawls passed between them. They
were weekly at first, and then there
were longer Intervals. If Tom did
not write, Linda could not answer.
Then one day there came a neighbor
who had seen Tom in person in his
new field.
The speaker did not mean to
wound or bruise, but he had seen a
new Tom Salters one who was no
longer of those on the mountains. He
had forgotten the crags and peaks
for the streets of the town.
When the man nad departed,
Linda's mother wanted to look her in
the eyes; IJnda wanted to do the
same by her mother. Instead of so
doing, both turned their heads away.
They said nothing of Tom.
What happened was all simple and
natural. Tom Salters had entered
upon a new life. It offered number
less attractions to the young man who
had never traveled ten miles from the
cabin in which he had been born,
and it was but natural that he
should soon begin to forget the old
life and all that he had left behind.
His scrawls were Indited at longer
Intervals, and finally ceased al
together. He came to almost ignore
the few mountain men he had known
in other days. They looked at his
new clothes, noted his speech and
walk, and went away shaking their
heads. In their opinion this was
rank disloyalty to the mountains.
By and by there came another mes
senger to the cabin in the cove where
Linda waited. Again there was no
desire to wound and . bruise, but
simply to impart news. Tom Salters
was "shining up" to a handsome
young girl down there in the town.
He had become almost a gentle
man. No matter how smart he had
been before leaving home, he had
surely become right smarter after his
life among townsfolk. He would
never return. He would marry and
settle down where he was.
All this and much more Linda lis
tened to with her elbows on her
knees and her head in her hands.
She sat thus after the caller had de
parted, and her mother dared not
break the silence. It was Linda her
self who broke It at last by lifting
her head and quietly saying:
"I never reckoned on his comin'
back. We hain't goin' to speak of
him no mo'."
The mother crossed the room and
patted the daughter on the shoulder,
and the incident was closed. Mr.
Breen was not even informed of the
gossip.
Linda had not sung for months. She
began singing now: She had not ram
bled from the cabin for weeks. She
now began taking long walks. Laugh
ter came to her lips once more, and
when she stopped at the little postof
flee and was told that there was no
letter, her smile was not replaced by
a look of disappointment.
"Linda's forgot about Tom and Is
gittin' perter than ever," remarked
the father to the mother one evening
as they sat alone.
The mother did not answer. She
looked at him in contempt- As a
mother, she knew that Linda was sim
i hruklnr her heart. The true wo-
I man suffers most when she laughs
most. She was watching Linda.
There was an undefined fear that the
girl's reckless spirit might . lead to
tragedy.
Weeks passed, however, and noth
ing happened, nothing except that
Linda grew pale-cheeked and thin,
and a note of defiance rang in her
laughter. She was suffering, and yet
defying the pain.
Then came a crisis. She was a mile
down the mountain road one day.
seated on a bowlder where she had of
ten sat before, watching the highway
winding down Into the lowlands ana
the busy world she know not of, when
a human figure came Into view,- half
a mile below. . She recognized it even
at that distance. A blush came to her
cheek and - her eyes flashed. Tom
Salters was coming back at last.
She saw that he was dressed as she
had last seen him. and that he walked
with weary sten and delected attitude.
Until he was within a quarter of a
mile the girl was blushing and trem
bling, and ready to raise her band and
shout a glad welcome. Then she be- .
came a thing of stone, except that
she moved her eyes to note his prog
ress. He did not discover her until
he was within a hundred feet. Then
he dropped the satchel he was carry
ing and sprang forward with her
name on his lips.
The girl slightly Inclined her head,
but there was ice In her look.
"And you won't shake hands! You
won't howdy! You won't say '.
- She motioned to him to sit at her
feet, and in a weary, hopeless way he '
obeyed. He waited a long minute
and then In a husky voice began:
, "I have come back to stay. I was a '
fool to go away. I was bo'n up yere. .
an' I might have knowed I wasn't fltten '
for down there. Mebbe somebody told
you that I tried to be one of 'em? Yes.
I did. I wore shoes. I wore store
clothes. I tried to talk like 'em an' act
like 'em, but I wasn't fltten. I thought t
1 might be, but I never could be. Won't
you speak to me, Linda?" f
"Go on," she replied, still without
looking at him. -
"Mebbe mebbe somebody from up
yer told you about about a gal down '
there? Yes, there was one. I fell In
love with her, an' she she made fun of '
me.' She laughed at me. An, Linda,
the fellers mocked me an' put upon me
an made game of me. I dun couldn't
stand it no mo', an' so I have come
back come back to you alL, Won't
you speak to me?"
For two minutes the girl sat and look
ed down the road as she had looked be
fore. Then she rose, passed Tom and
went up the road went slowly up the
road toward home and never looked
back. - - - J:
Unlearned, unlettered and ignorant
of the ways of the world, she had the
heart of the highest woman in the land,
and she demanded expiation for a
lover's disloyalty. Her mother read in
her face what bad happened and sim
ply put an arm around her and whis
pered: "There, there, child by and by."
One evening three months later Lin
da sat in the moonlight on the same
old log at the door. Again her elbows
were on her knees and her face in her
hands. By and by some one knelt be
fore her and lifted her head and looked
Into her eyes and said:
"Can't you do it now, Linda?"
"Yes, I reckon," she replied as she
gave her hand.
And that, too, was "Just like a wo
man !" (Copyrighted, 1908, by Associ
ated Literary Press.)
HUMOR OF THE DAY
"How quiet the office boy is."
"Yes I Just raised his salary. He thinks
it's a dream and la afraid he'll wake up."
Life.
. Knicker Funny, isn't It?
Bocker Yes, the people who advise you
to go back to the soil never do it them
selves. Brooklyn Life.
Passenger Say, conductor, that man on
the back platform just fell off.
Street Car Conductor That's all right.
He's paid his fare. Detroit Times.
Political Manager You don't seem to
like the looks of the crowd at our ward
caucus.
The Other Man Oh, I don't know. ' I
suppose they're the kind you have always
bought. Chicago Tribune.
globe: sights.
From the Atchison Globe.
Everybody has a hoodoo these days.
Whoever saw a man and wife who
were both red headed?
The younger your daughter, the
more apt she Is to love you.
Every woman thinks the other wo
men's troubles could be cured by cer
tain wall mottoes, if they would only
read them.
A woman doesn't have much respect
for her mother's opinions when she
buys her wedding clothes, but she has
a great deal when it comes to taking
care of her first baby.
This is the time - of the year when
that old tradition that drinking milk
and eating cherries at the same meal
will cause death, stalks around and '
wags an empty skull at you.
If a rich woman is also a manhater,
she gives most grudgingly when help. .
Ing some widow with a lot of children."
being of the opinion that such a wo- ,
man Is only getting her just desserts
for ever getting married.
You can often tell how much care
and trouble a woman has by the way
she does her hair. She stops wearing
it In a loose, fluffy mass on the top
of her head if she has to work and
worry, and twists It In a hard little
knot that greatly resembles a, door
knob. '
There are certain articles used In
every house that no one but the moth
er will buy. Who buys the fine tooth
comb, for instance? Not the girl of
16. She is too proud. But wait until
she is 35 and has a husband who snubs
her and children who cry at night.
She would Just as soon go down town
then and buy a fine tooth comb as
not.
Every man believes that, although
he may not be as good looking as this
man, or as smart as some other man
the charm about him is that he is
"different" from other people. Every
man believes In his heart that he is
"different" from anyone else In the
world, though, as a matter of fact, we
are all terribly alike. We were all
cut by the same pattern, and have not
changed materially since.-
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
From the New York Press.
Most men think they are getting bet
ter on Dy neeping worn growing worse
off. j
Some men couldn't be more careful
not to kiss their wives If it was a.
scandal to do it , "
The on IV tima m man nt ... m
mlt he is broke is when somebody is
how many suits of clothes her husband
as, Bprcjiaiijr it. it. a only one.
A girl doesn't know what her gradu
ating essay means, but she does know
it doesn't have to mean anythlnst ta
make her family proud of U,