The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 22, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOUBNAIr TUESDAY EVUinNG. DECEMBER 22, 1908,
T0PEK1 STATE JOURNAL
Br FRANK P. MAC LENNAN.
Entered July I. IS75, aa eecond-clasa
mattes- at the postoftico at Topeka. Kan.,
under the act of congren.
VOLUME XXXV No. 315
Official State Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily edition, delivered by carrier. 10
cents a week to any part of Topeka, or
suburbs, or at the lam price in any Kan
sas town where the paper ha a carrier
system.'
By mall, one year .......e8-
By mail, three moflths
Saturday edition of daily, one year... 1.0
TELEPHONE.
Business Office Bell 1
Business Office In- WJ
Reporters' Room.......... .......Bell Stt
Reporters' Room.. I1' J
Frank P. MaeLenrran Ind. TOO
PERMANENT HOME.
Topeka State Journal building. and
S Kanoas avenue, wrner of Eighth.
New Tork Office: Flatlron building-, at
Twenty-third street, corner Fifth avenue
and Broadway. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago Office: Hartford building. Paul
biocs. manager.
KT'I.L LEASED WTRR RETORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
The State Journal ia a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that (Treat new or
ganization ror the exclusive atternoon
publication In Topekm.
The news Is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sola pur.
ro.
Maybe the reason that Topekans did
not see that marvellous meteor which
ivas frisking around Wichita, Salina
and St. Joseph, Mo., early Sunday ev
ening Is because they have other things
to do besides star-gazing. At might be
expected, the Salina folks did a little
better than any of the rest, of them.
They saw two meteors. .
It will be mighty Interesting to
watch the development in the forth
coming United States ' senatorial con
test in Ohio, and particularly In the
regard as to the extent of the "vindi
cation" that the people of Ohio,
through their representatives In the
legislature, will accord to Joseph Ben
ton Foraker He has formally an
nounced his candidacy for re-election
and declares that he is in the contest
"to win."
1 BP
Certainly the bank robbers must be
mighty prosperous these days. The
practice of them making a raid In au
tomobiles is now quite common. This
is what a gang of them did in an east
ern state a week or so ago and more
recently have the same vehicles been
used for get-a-ways in Nebraska. Per
haps though, some unscrupulous au
tomobilists have been forced to turn
bank robbers In order to pay for the
maintenance of their cars.
Here's a pertinent fact or two to pon
der over. The fire losses In the Uni
ted States last year amounted to $215,
000,000 or seven times the fire loss in
the whole of Europe. The sacrifice of
lives in t.his country attendant on these
fires numbered 1,800. Experts declare
that three-fourths of this sacrifice of
life and property occurred, in frame
buildings and - was due . to faulty con
struction and neglect of proper pre
ventives of Are. What a chance there
la in this regard for reform?
A gentleman wno poses as an ex
pert in Indian affairs is out with the
declaration that within three genera
tions there won't be a real Indian left
In this country. If this condition pre
vails its result will have to be set
down to the "benevolent assimilation'
with which the Red men have been
treated. Under these circumstances the
prospects of the Filipinos in maintain
lng their race are not very encuraging
for "benevolent assimilation" is the
civilizing medicine that is being given
to them.
Following on the Reuf verdict in
Ban Francisco another staggering
blow has been delivered at grafters
nd corruptionists who have plied their
trade in public affairs. Four of the
men, three of them former high state
officials, who were mixed up in the
nauseating Pennsylvania capitol
frauds, have been sent to prison, each
to serve a term of two years. The
"men higher up" in other localities
are surely receiving plenty of tips to
divert their peculiar energies to other
fields of activity.
Congressmen who are opposed to the
present rules prevailing in the house
of representatives, and who are dub
bed "Insurgents," are reported to be
leaving Washington for their homes
In a Jubilant frame of mind because
they will be able to tell their constit
uents that before the end of the ses
sion the rules will be amended. It's
safe to say that their constituents
would be more Interested in hearing
that some progress had been made in
the way of enacting a variety of leg
islation that Is most desirable.
The time to do Christmas shopping
early has already passed but the tardy
folks can still show' consideration to
the store clerks which will be appre
ciated greatly by doing such trading
as is yet to be done in the daytime.
The shoppers themselves will be the
gainers by so doing. Clerks in the
stores are only human beings. They
may well be pardoned if they become a
trifle inatentive during the night
hours after they have already put in
A .full day's work of the most trying
sort on their feet. Such long hours as
are demanded of them during the clos
ing days of the holiday trade are not
conducive to alacrity and cheerfulness,
specially during the evening hours
that they must be on duty.
Not a word has been said yet of the
possibility of Richard Harding Davis
and James Creelman, noted writers
and newspaper men, accompanying
Mr. Roosevelt on his African hunt, eith
er as comrades or as representatives
of the newspapers and magazines which
are to take the field on their own hook
for the purpose -of discounting such
tales of the chase as Mr. Roosevelt
has been commissioned to write -at 2
a word. Surely a Rooseveltian enter
prise of this sort cannot amount to
much without the assistance of "Dicky
Davis and "Jim" Creelman. The bat
tie of San Juan Hill would likely have
been a tame affair, on the- pages, of
history, at least. If these fellows with
their frisky pens had not been on
hand . to lead Mr. Roosevelt and his
Rough Riders to Its summit.
A COMPARISON OR TWO.
Comparisons are declared to be
odious. Undoubtedly they are, but
this is more especially true of the in
dividual or the thing which sufferB by
them. Often, however.' comparisons
are made with no purpose of casting
anything of odium, but merely for, the
strength and emphasis that can be
gained by them. That is the intent in
the present instance in a little discus
sion of the productiveness of Kansas,
the wealth of her, fields and farms.
Kansas and Kansans have good rea
son to be proud over their achieve
ments and the development of the
Sunflower state in all ways, but she
and they have no disposition to lord
it over her sister states, many of
whom are worthy rivals for several of
the honors that she holds, and all of
whom are held in the highest possible
esteem.
A glance at the figures on the
magnitude and value of the crops
grown in Kansas as detailed by the
annual report of Mr. Coburn, the
secretary of the Kansas department
of agriculture, and a comparison of
them with similar figures for the en
tire country which have been made
public by the federal department of
agriculture will make- known two
facts, which taken together, are really
remarkable, and which ought to make
certain the claim made by the friends
of Kansas that she is entitled to be
crowned the queen of agriculture in
Uncle Sam's domain.
The latest figures on the population
in this state total up to approximately
1,657.000 people. The estimated
population of the United States, ex
cluBive of its colonies and de-
pendencies, of course, is approximated
at 88,000,000,000. This gives Kansas a
population which is one fifty-fourth
of that of the entire country. That's
not a wonderful showing for a state
with an area as large as has this onei
But wait a minute.
The estimated value of the products
of the Kansas farms, including live
stock for the year just about to end.la
placed at J475.245.000 while the es
timated value of the similar products
for the entire country is placed at
$7,760,000,000. In other words, which
are simpler and much more astonish
ing, the value of Kansas farm prod
ucts is one sixteenth of the value of
the products of the farms of the na
tion. Think of it! This state has but
one fifty-fourth of the population of
the country and at the same time it
produces one-sixteenth of the farm
products developed in the entire land.
These are figures and comparisons
to ponder over. No other explanation
is needed for the prosperity which
prevails among the people of this
state. No other forecast or prophecy
is needed of the prosperous future
that is before them. The great
agricultural feats that Kansans have
performed through their energy and
their intelligence in the past year can
be duplicated in the years to come
and even bettered for the last farm
ing season was not of the most favor
able sort. Then again, there is much
land in Kansas which is yet to be
cultivated and practical and scientific
farming which is developing greatly
as each year rolls around will increase
the productiveness of the fields al
ready under cultivation. More wheat
and corn and other things will be
grown to the acre in the future than
there has been in the past. Surely is
Kansas great and her future greater.
Surely she and her people may well
be pardoned for indulging in occasion
al reveries over their own great for
tune and in extending the cordial in
vitation that to Kansas "whosoever
will may come."
RAILROAD CONTROL.
One of the paramount questions
before the people of the United States
today is as to the extent that shall
prevail in the governmental and state
control of the affairs of railroad cor
porations. That the railroads have
been improperly legislated against in
some instances by some states must
be admitted to be a fact. It is also
a fact that a good deal of the legisla
tion which has been enacted con
cerning them is misdirected and it is
also a further fact that it Is ques
tionable if the federal government
has gone far enough in its en
deavors to control the railroads and
devised an adequate scheme as yet for
the regulation of rates in an equitable
manner and which is certainly a gov
ernmental prerogative in view of the
quasi-public character of these vast
enterprises.
There was a discussion recently on
all the phases of the railroad ques
tion before a Chicago club. One of
the speakers was Slason Thompson,
of the Railway News bureau of Chi
cago and he had a few pertinent
things to say on the subject as fol
lows: "Whether government ownership
and operation of railways would be
the best policy for the republic may
be an open question, but it would at
least bo an honest policy. Whether
it would give the American people
more efficient and cheaper transporta
tion service may be most seriously
doubted. but at least they would know
whom to hold responsible and could
tax themselves to make good its
losses, as they have to do in Australia.
"The railways, as far as I have
been able to learn, interpose no
objection to the regulation that will
insure the fullest performance of their
public duties as common carriers and
full and fair publicity as to their acts.
They realize that this is not only the
wiy of the American people, but that
It is the safest policy for them. But
they have a right to expect that hand
In hand with such regulation will go
an intelligent and just recognition of
their rights and responsibilities. So
long as they are responsible to the
public for results and to the multitude
of investors and employes dependent
upon the remunerative .character of
the service rendered, regulation, must
stop short of confiscation, and control
should be confined to the prevention
of unfair, illicit and underhand prac
tices." These are the sentiments which
should be held by all people towards
the railroads and especially by the
legislators and executives, state and
national, who have been entrusted to
make such laws as are needed for the
proper control and regulation of the
railroads. It would be worse than
folly, it would be a crime for legisla
tors in any state or in the nation to
enact laws which would cripple the
railroads, the great arteries of the
commerce of the country through
which courses the nation's very life-
blood.
Roads and people are getting to
gether as they ought. The sooner they
begin to trust each other more, to ex
change ideas and seek each other's
help in the solution of all questions
in which they have a common in-1
terest, just so much sooner will these
matters be determined to the satisfac
tion of all concerned.
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Artificial lakes are decidedly real as
far as the wetness of the water is con
cerned.
Probably the most deceptive thine in
the world is a woman's chin that has
the appearance of being firm.
One of the best ways for a fellow to
cure himself of a love affairs is to run
away, provided, of course, he takes the
girl with him.
As a matter of fact it is pretty hard
for a girl to say a word when a fellow
kisses her. regardless of how much
she might care to protest.
r
If all men paid their household bills
as cheerfully as they do the ones they
incur at their clubs and lodges there
wouldn't be so much fussing arouna
their home firesides.
JAYHAWKER JOTS
The Lucas Sentinel predicts that the
time is coming when a farmer w-ill
consider an automobile as necessary
as a header.
The Salina Journal confidently ex
pects Paul and Roscoe Stubbs to be
come the Quentln ana permits oi
Kansas after January.
The Emporia Gazette's gifted poet
makes "ladies" rhyme with "hades.
Well, some of them do. but most of
the ladies don't. Kansas City Star.
The Osborne Farmer hastens to cor
rect the idea that the primary law will
kill off the Kansas Day club. As long
as men aspire to orate, the Farmer ex
plains, the Kansas Day club will flour
ish.
"Congress -is now setting," says the
Salina Union, and the Abilene Re
flector adds the hope that it may-
hatch a $50,000 appropriation for a
postoffice.
The Stafford Courier is only amused
by the "cobless corn." said to have
been grown in Illinois -Hner-calls-.atten
tion to the fact that a few years ago
cornless cobs were a regular, spec
ialty in Kansas. .-
The Atchison Globe .has discovered
that there is at last a hew joke on the
Central Branch. It is the Only rail
road mentioned in this way: "And on
the fifth day the Lord created all
things that creep.
Tes, you are pretty certain to find
things in the paper that you don't
care for, and some things that don't
exactly suit you; it is to be expected
that you will and it makes no differ
ence what the paper referred to, says
the Marquette Tribune. If the paper
were gotten out solely and exclusively
or you :t might be arranged difrerent-
ly, but it is gotten out for the other
several hundred as well. Do with
newspapers as you would with the
dinner course at a hotel; take what
you want and pass up what you don't
care for. It was set out for the other
fellow.
Mr. J. A. Ramsey, of Topeka,
writes to the Gazette's fat poet a let-
er which is kindness itself, convey-
ng compliments wmcn snouia make
any bard feel gay, and concluding with
a protest against the "near-profanity"
which sometimes disfigures the
rhymes. He quotes a recent rhyme
bout the troubles Emporia people
have with the gas, and instances the
line "and then the gosh blamed gas
goes out!" He says that the children
at Topeka schools all read the
Gazette rhymes, and consequently the
writer of them should exercise great
care in avoiding coarse language. The
point is well taken, and . the half
baked poet likes to receive criticisms
so kindly expressed. It might be
argued that children often hear worse
anguage than gosh blamed and gol-
darned at school, and that the expres-
ions, as used in the verses referred
to. have their value as illustrating the
exasperation people feel when the
lights go out, but when all is said and
done, rough expressions are better
kept out . of print. The Gazette's
rhymes are written without care or
consideration, in the course of the
day's work and they have many
blemishes which might be avoided if
a little more thought were given to
them. And now for a little kick at
Mr. Ramsay: his letter came ad
dressed to "Walt Whitman." and this
seems like rubbing it' in. The
Gazette's untamed bard has many
faults, but his poetry is at least sawed
into proper lengths, and a few words
rhsme here and there, and a man can
understand what the author is drivjng
at without having to take his verses
apart with a screwdriver. Walt
Mason in the Emporia Gazette.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
And often the stranger isn't taken
in.
A wise man does his duty; a fool does
his friends.
One way to unsettle a question is to
argue about it.
Never form your opinion of an egg un
til the lid is off.
The widow in the flower of her youth
Is not discouraged by iveeds.
Some schoolboys are pretty slow but
manage to catch the whooping cough.
The girl with a shapely ankle can always
find an excuse for crossing a muddy street.
A man may think he is killing time, but
sooner or later time puts him out of the
running.
Every middle-aged woman is set in her
ways and opinions, but you can't induce
her to admit it.
It mav be that some men are born great,
but a. woman seldom acquires greatness
via the matrimonial route.
Did vou ever notice the look of pain
that doesn't show up on a. doctor's face
when a rival M. I), is spoken of contemptuously?
KANSAS COMMENT
PAT CROWE.
Pat Crowe, the I celebrated bandit,
kidnaper and general bad man, whose
picture occupies a conspicuous place
in every police station in the country,
awoke from a deep dream of peace
with a bad taste in Jus mouth, the
other morning, aiid decided to aban
don the sporting life.
The difference in. the morning has
led many wayward spirits to repent
ance in the coure of ages, and while
it is a recognized" part of .American
life, many other sinners will return
because of it; but such repentance is
seldom long lived, and it will be a sur
prise indeed if the extremelv reverend
Pat persists in good works for any
length of time.
This new planet that swims into our
ken will not cause more than a mo
mentary excitement; we have become
accustomed to refni-mort r m hipr re
formed bruisers, reformed ball players,
and reformed has-beens of all sorts,
mat tne apotheosi3 of Pat Crowe will
cause no more than a rinnle. save in
such communities as wilness his ner-
sonal efforts in the snatching of brands
from the burning.
The regularly ordained clergymen
of the country, the men who are
equipped by study and virtuous living
and a sincere conviction,- for their
sacred calling, will witness the advent
of Pat Crowe with the accustomed
apathy, although they should protest
against the evangelical work of all
these reformed outlaws and sports.
Lawyers and doctors are jealous of
their professions, and try to keep out
the quacks and shysters, although
their success is not always noteworthy.
The quack preacher is worse than
the quack doctor- or the shyster law
yer, and it is the duty of the ministry
to cast him into outer darkness. Re
ligion is made' cheap and ridiculous
when it Is expounded by men whose
criminal records tare notorious, and
whose repentance" is too recent, and too
spectacular, to command respect. The
spectacle, of .a man issuing -from a dive
to lecture upon the sacred precepts of
the Testaments is not elevating, to say
the least. - "- ,-'--;. -.
The preachers are preaching against
many evils and -abuses. The Gazette
of a. day or two ago contained a re
markable discourse delivered by a Chi
cago parson,- and scores of others are
throwing their, shining lances against
the faces of frauds and sinners; but
none of them denounce the reformed
pug-uglies who go forth in priestly
robes to make a travesty of -creeds and
doctrines, and .tear the dignity of true
godliness into shreds. -Emporia - Ga
zette. - ' ; ' . . . ' -
"ST AGNATION" RETIREMENTS.
Congressmen and senators are receiv.
ing petitions from army officers against
the enactment of -pending legislation
which contemplates elimination among
the commissioned personnel as.a means
of creating vacancies and helping pro
motion. The officers who " are filing
their obligations against the measure,
which has the sanction of the war de-partment-and
originated with General
William Crozier,; 'chief, of ordnance,
are pointing , put f -that any scheme
of elimination, woald do harm to
officers who have been planning
to serve their -' Allotted time on
the active list ' otj the army, and
who find themselves', confronted with
the prospect of4-beinff'-'prematurelv re
tired on a basis of pftwhlch takes into
account the period of active service. In
the cases of officers -who entered in or
just after the Spanish Hvar, a captain
who will have served sixteen or eight
een years would go on the retired list
with pay of $50 a month, not sufficient
to sustain himself and his family, and
under conditions which make it dif
ficult for him to engage in any occupa
tion in civil life, having given the best
years, of his existence to the military
establishment. Then,' too. it is pointed
out that if elimination prevails some
desirable and useful officers will be re
tired who will seek to be restored to
duty on full pay, with pressure applied
in that direction. Alt or this, it is point
ed out, will increase the expense of
military maintenance by additions to
the retired list in a way which is dis
couraging to army officers. There is
no prospect that the bill will be taken
up at the coming session of congress.
Leavenworth Times.
FROM OTHER PENS
MR ROCKEFELLER' S STOMACH.
When Mr. Rockefeller praises his
stomach, and speaks with pride of the
tender care he bestowed upon it even
in the days when he was not strenuous
ly engaged in the business of reducing
the small competitor to a smear of
blood upon the industrial highway, the
nubile is forced to believe that he has
digested better than he knew, and the
poor who have taken comfort in the re
flection that tneir ptomaens nave Deen
better than his uiut awaken to the
horrible truth that Mr. Rockefeller has
not only enjoyed the usufruct of their
labors for the last 40 or 60 years, but
also the best of digestions, or. at least,
a fair one. Their theory of compensa
tion must be reconstructed, 'mere are
perhaps millions of Americans who
have hugged the delusion that while
the head of the oil trust had possession
of nearly every other desirable thing
in the world, he could not eat a square
meal without getting a foretaste of pun
ishment In the next world. If he should
now explain that his baldness was not
a curse visited upon him for his sins,
but a heritage from bald ancestors,
there would be no longer a peg upon
which to hang an argument that Mr.
Emerson was right when he set it down
as law, universal in its application, that
the varieties of conditions equalize
themselves. Louisville Courier-Journal.
SOUTHERN HOG AND HOMINY.
The news comes from Shreveport to
the effect that capitalists and planters
were combining to' establish there a
large plant for packing pork, and that
the farmers were going to give large
attention to raising hogs is of large
public interest. There is no country
where the raising of swine can be done
to greater advantage. The forests are
full of acorns, pecans and other nuls,
the soil is filled with succulent and
nourishing roots, while corn, peas,
alfalfa and other products for fatten
ing can be grown in abundance at the
least possible cost.
There was a time when the climate
was not propitious for any extensive
slaughter and packing of animals for
food purposes, but the universal use
Of artificial refrigeration has put it in
the power of the south to do anything
where a cool temperature is required.
There is how every reason why the
south should become as famous in
pork packing as are Chicago. Omaha
and Kansas City. - All that is neces
sary is to -take up the business and
carry it on. We make our own corn.
Let us make our own bacon. When
the south shall produce her. own hog
and hominy she will have achieved
real independence of the north. New .
Orleans Picayune. .
i. SMITTY.
My name is Smith. I'd have you know,
a ".: no one as me that,
ArJCt to embonpoint I grow
The vulgar say I'm fat.
I have a smile and heartv grip;'
I m always on the street;
M-"cknarn hangs upon the lip
Of every one I greet.
"Hello, there, Smitty how is Smitty?
Got a cold? Well, that's a pity.
Cheer up. Smitty!"
That's a dittv. ,
Through the city -Every
wittv
Foolish It. he
Calls me Smitty
Like that;
Smitty.
W?r.?-otners draw the term "old man."
. Or ' John" or "Mike" or "Bill,"
Since this sad life of -mine Degan
"..y. put e through tha -mill
With Sraitty'-' this and "Smitty" that
,And. Smitty" so and so.
Until I question where I'm at '
Me. with a real name, Joe
New York Sun.
Eafrle and Pig Again.
The average country newspaper cor
respondent's range of vision is never
thwarted by broken sky lines, and the
dome of heaven, grand and glorious, as
it broadens from his unhampered view,
gives scope to his imagination. The
average country correspondent never
allows the phrase, "nothing doing," to
shadow his genius.
What is more natural than that a
strange bird, the size of a turkey buz
zard, should pounce down upon a litter
of small New Jersey pigs and fly away
with one? To have the strange bird
chased a mile by two crows, which ac
complished the rescue of the pig is a
matter of thrilling detail; to have the
pig identified as the property of a
farmer living a mile away leaves noth
ing to the imagination; and lastly, i to
determine that the strange bird is an
eagle is a mere matter of verifying a
foregone conclusion.
It Is impossible to lose the country
newspaper correspondent; his field lies
between the horizons, and he covers it
completely. His genius does no harm,
if we forget the heart flutters of the
little pig as it flies through the air.
However, he kindly returns it to . the
litter in time for supper, and leaves it
to join the chorus of satisfied grunts.
The country newspaper correspondent
is not cruel to animals; the creatures
with which he deals live happily ever
after. Toledo Blade.
Wants Ancient Not Paid.
A 10 note of the English colony of
New York, issued February 16, 1771137
years ago antedating the Declaration
of Independence, has been presented to
Comptroller Metz with a demand for
payment.
The calculations are staggering to the
comptroller. His experts make out that
if the city is obligated to redeem the
l note, with compound Interest, it will
( have to hand over something like $39,-
j 000. Metz has asked the corporation
I counsel for legal advice on the puzzle.
"commercial aeency. It Is' in a very
good state of preservation. Authorized
five years before New York, with the
other original states, became free from
British rule, it bears the old coat of
arms of the colony of the grant to the
Duke of York. This coat of arms is the
same used now by the city of New
York, with the exception of the removal
of the crown, which was not used after
the revolutionary war. On the bill is
the following reading:
"By the law of the Colony of New
York this bill shall be received in all
payments in the Treasury for 10.
"February 16, 1771.
"WALTER FRANKLIN,
' "SAMUEL VERPLANCK."
The bill has the number 15466. It also
carries the ominous warning:"
" 'Tis death to counterfeit." New
York American.
. Will Not Marry Consumptives.
The Rev. Herbert S. Johnson, pas
tor of the Warren Avenue Baptist
church, announced at the service Sun
day that he never, again would marry
a consumptive, and that he would at
the next district meeting ask the
church authorities to prohibit a mar
riage where one of the parties was a
consumptive.
"I am taking that step," he said,
"because I do not want to stand be
fore my God as a murderer. The
marriage of an uninfected person
with one suffering from the great
white plague means that both
Inevitably W ill have the disease."
Dr. Johnson said that he had given
the matter great thought and that he
had considered it time for the church
to take a stand for life and mortality
under such conditions. "Laws and
legal devices admittedly are unable to
cope with the condition; therefore the
church must meet it and conquer it,"
he said.
Mr. Johnson also said that he
would not marry any man whose in
come is less than $12 a week. Bos
ton dispatch to New York Tribune.
Famous Abbey to Be Preserved.
English papers announce that the
fund for the purchase and preservation
of Glastonbury Abbey is now complete.
Glastonbury Abbey is one of the most
interesting buildings in England. Ac
cording to the legend. Joseph of Arl
mathea went thither bearing the Holy
Grail and founded the first Christian
church In Britain. The present abbey
was built by Henry de Blols in 1186. A
quaint story is told of the abbot's
kitchen. Scrme of the old abbots used
to entertain so lavishly that an English
monarch threatened the destruction of
their wooden kitchen. So the monks
built-a stone kitchen, with walls sev
eral feet thick, which they thought
would withstand assaults. -The kitchen
exists now in a good state of preserva
tion. Four oxen could be roasted in it
at once. New York Tribune.
..... Rirtl Seeks Cooked Mate.
There was an unusual happening In
the home of J. K. Camp, a grocer, yes
terday. Mrs. Camp, a great lover of
partridge, is recovering from a severe
illness and she remarked last week that
she would like a partridge for dinner.
Mr. Camp went out and shot a plump
bird. Seated , at the table yesterday,
Mrs. Camp wag telling how well she
liked partridge, when, suddenly, the
family was startled by a crash against
the window, and going outside Mr.
Camp found another partridge. It had
flown against the window, "breaking its
neck. Winsted (Conn.) dispatch to
New York Herald.
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
' . ' From ; the Philadelphia Press.
'. Even when a fellow is a rounder he may
be, cornered... , . .. .
: When a man stands on his dignity he
sometimes puts his foot in it.
The finger 6f scorn is one of the prin
cipal sign posts on the highway of life,
. Love in a cottage may depend some
what on the location of the cottage.
The man with a family tree doesn't give
much thought, to preserving the forests.
Some people take a melancholy satis
faction in always being prepared for the
worst. " i
He who doesn't profit by his own mis
takes can't expect to profit by the mis
takes of others. j
"Stormy weather makes me tired." com
plained the umbrella. "Every time it
rains I am used no."
"I telieve in making the little things
count." remarked the kindergarten teacher
as she called up the class in arithmetic. 1
THE EVENING STORY
Converting Gwendolyn.
(By Martha Cobb Sanford.)
At twenty Gwendolyn Rand was un
deniably a personality to be reckoned
with. -
"I don't see where you get such
ways, Gwendolyn," complained her
mother. "Why, at your age I "
"Yes, indeed," corroborated Mr.
Rand, "at your age, Gwendolyn, your
moth-jr had settled down she wasn't
running around after all the young
men in the neighborhood."
"Oh, daddy," remonstrated Gwen
dolyn, "I think you might be a little
more gallant."
"Well, well, the young men weren't
all running after her, then," amended
Mr. Rand, softening at the hurt look
in Gwendolyn's big brown eyes. "But
it doesn't look well either way. I
can't understand where "
"Mother was brought up in a con
vent, you remember. I'm the nroduot
or co-euueauon, ventured Gwendolyn
iu f xpianuuun.
"H'm," reflected Mr. Rand. "That
may be the reason, but the remedv is
your Aunt Abiatha."
Gwendolyn gave a little gasp of ap
prehension. "Yes, my dear," continued Mr.
Rand, "your mother and I have de
cided to send you down to Florida to
spend the winter with your Aunt
Abiatha."
"She will teach vou the ihinr. n
girl of your age ought to know,
daughter," added Gwendolyn's mother
dolefully. "Things which I have some
how failed to make you take an in
terest in."
"In other words, I'm to be sent to a
convent." exclaimed Gwenrlnivn as
she swished out of the room, her
head high in air, but her eves b-ii-
tening with unshed tears.
Aunt . Abiatha s SDacious old-fash
ioned house merited - kinder verdict
than Gwendolyn bestowed upon it at
first glance. Once up in her cozy bed
room, however, -with its chintz covered
four-poster, and French window
opening out onto a little rose-covered
porch, the girl's heart melted in spite
of herself, and she threw both arms
around Aunt Abiatha, completely sub-
miMMive IOr tne time Deing.
uut alter tne novelty of dustlne-.
sewing and cooking began to resolve
itself into routine, Gwendolyn sudden
ly oaiKea.
"Now I know how to do all these
prosaic things. Aunt Abiatha,". she
argued, "what's the use of doing them
day after day? There are so many real
live things to do in the world. Let's
give a garden party or something.
Aunt Abiatha. Are there any male
inhabitants in Centerville that we
could hire to come, do you think?"
"Gwendolyn, my dear! How you talk!
Of course there are." Aunt Abiatha
was startled into admitting. "There's
young Jack Heyward, for one."
"What's he like?"
"Very thoughtful and polite." replied
Aunt Abiatha loyally. "He comes of
one of our best families."
"Poor thing," muttered Gwendolyn.
"What did you say, dear?"
"I asked what he does for a livine?"
Prevaricated Gwendolyn unblushlngly.
j , iic iiiaimstrs ma iatner s estate,
of course. He's a country gentleman."
"Oh," commented Gwendolyn indiffer
ently. "He must be a very provincial
kind of person. . I don't think I should
like him."
"Well ; of all things, Gwendolyn,"
bristled Aunt Abiatha. : ".Of course
you'd like him. . Every, one does. I'll
ask him to call."
An afternoon or two later, as Gwen
dolyn was reclining in the hammock on
her little porch, engrossed in a novel,
she became suddenly conscious that the
front doorbell had been ringing for
some time. On the veranda below she
could hear Aunt Abiatha rocking to and
fro.
"The front doorbell's ringing. Aunt
Abiatha," she called, jumping up. "If
it's that "polite and thoughtful young
country gentleman' please don't disturb
me. I'm in the midst of an awfully ex
citing love story."
A hearty masculine laugh followed
Gwendolyn's declaration.
It aroused her curiosity but also her
indignation, and she re-established her
self in the hammock, determined not to
display the slightest interest, whatever
happened.
But the next thing she heard startled
her into a sitting posture.
"Now, Aunt Abiatha, will you intro
duce us?"
Gwendolyn walking to the rail of the
porch, couid hardly believe her eyes.
There, on the roof of the veranda, not
ten feet away from her, sat an extreme
ly good-looking young man. And there
on the lawn stood Aunt Abiatha, the
picture oi dismay and disapproval.
Gwendolyn," she called up, "this is
Mr. Heyward. Jack, my niece. Miss
Rand. I never saw such golngs-in in
my life. Go right into your room.
Gwendolyn."
Gwendolyn did not budge. She only
laughed arid laughed, until Aunt
Abiatha finally joined in.
But suclx a triangular situation was
not overencouraging especially since
Aunt Abiatha refused to leave hr
angle of observation so eventually
they all adjourned to the downstairs
veranda for afternoon tea.
- "So you're a climber, Mr. Heyward?"
Gwendolj-n observed archly, taking ad
vantage of Aunt Abiatha's absence in
the kitchen. .
"Given sufficient ' incentive yes."
Jack answered lightly. "I couldn't
stand down there below, you know, and
let a fellow in a book get ahead of me."
"Get ahead of you?"
"Well, absorb your interest to the ex
clusion of a real human being," ex
plained Jack.
"You took, an awful risk," laughed
Gwendolyn.
"Oh. that was nothing." Jack boast
ed. "I'm used to all sorts of athletic
stunts, you know."
"That isn't the kind of risk I meant,
exactly," Gwendolyn enlightened him.
"Well, how did you like him?" beam
ed Aunt Abiatha after the caller's de
parture. "Not very well," said Owendolyn,
shaking her head dubiously. "He's so
bold and eonceited."
"But, my dear." hastily interposed
Aunt Abiatha. "You mustn't judge
him from first appearances. Jack was
a little queer today. I don't know what
was the matter with him. But we'll
have him in often, and you must be
polite to him, Gwendolyn."
And that was how a most audacious
courtship came to be carried on right
under Aunt Abiatha's eyes.
"Gwendolyn," asked Jack dreamily,
one sunny morning, as they sat togeth
er in the fragrant rose garden. "How
did you ever happen to come down to
this quiet little spot, anyhow? I should
imagine you'd love all the gay things
of life dances, theaters, dinners and
all that, you know. Don't you?"
"No you're all wrong," answered
Gwendolyn slowly, hiding her face in
the flowers she had gathered. "I love
something quite different."
For a few minutes the birds in the
garden had it all to themselves-so
suddenly still were the two people who
sat there. . . ,
"Gwendolyn." Jack finally found himself
asking in a husky voice quite unlike his
'!d? Toa rM' love It down here-
the quiet, lazy life we lead?"
faoeVendIyn no11d' but dil1 no lift her
'iy?v' lt enou"h to stay with ma, dear-
Gwendolvn nodded again.
Look uo nt me. vou fraud." Jack com
ams taklllK h'r loyfully into hla
i,,-1 Tr"""1-" .Gwendolyn protested, bllnk
"Av. T,hr " something in my eve."
on. let me get out. sweetheart," im
plored Jack, sympathetically. "What is it.
darling?
"A tear. I think." confessed the mis
chievous Gwendolyn.
Half an hour later. Jack sat talking with
Aunt Abiatha on the porch. Owendolyn
was scribbling her daily, line to her
mot her. mot her.
"Read that. Aunt Abiatha." the girl call
ed suddenly, holding, out a sheet of not
naner... -t has something about you in
AA.nd, thl" '? what"' the astonished Aunt
Abiatha read:
"Dearest Mother and Dad I want you
to come down here junt as quickly as
K'Ui -can- am to be married at Aunt
Abiatha s two weeks from today. Tha '
wedding will be very quiet. Aunt Abia
tha fully approves of my engagement in
fact, she has done everything in her pow
er to bring It about. Please bring mv
trousseau along with you. Yours loving i
, ... GWENDOLYN.
P. S. His name Is Jack Montgomery
Heyward. and he's just as nice as his '
name. I can cook and sew and dust.
. (Copyrighted. 1908, by Associated IJter
ary Press.)
HUMOR OF THE DAY
rT,he .Powdcr .Manufacturer Fancy old
Bill, of all people, going into the gunpow. ,
der shed with a lighted candle. I should -hJnk.
thai.Jnat would be the last thing "
ned do. The Workman Which, properly
speakln', it were, sir. The Sketch. '
"See' that fellow walking with one foot
on the curb and the other In the gutter?"
-Yep. 'It don't take no Sherlock Holmes
to guess that he summered In the moun
tains. ' LoulHville Courier-Journal.
Harry How is your suit with Mlsa Dis-1
tant prospering? George Weil, when I:'
call now her dog wags his tall. Puck. i
' "Do you believe in the literal idea of'
future punishment?" "Not for myself."
answered Mr. Slrlus Barker. "But I favor -It
for a lot of people I know." Washing- :
ton Star.
"Yes." said the bankrupt. "I lost my for
tune reaching for an ideal." "Very inter-
eating. And what was your ideal?" "A
bigger fortune than I had." Philadelphia
Ledger. ,
"Foul tactics." declared the halfback.'
"What's the trouble now?" demanded the
referee. "I tried a kick for the stomach.-'
but this fellow blocked It with his head."
Kansas City Journal.
"Bridget." said Mrs. Grouchy, "I don't
like the looks of that man who called to
see you last night." "Well, well," replied
Bridget, "ain't it funny, ma'am? He said
the same about you." John Bull.
"I don't care about a church wedding,'
Myrtle. Do you? Wouldn't you rather b5
married right here at your own home?'! '
"Yes, but I am afraid we can't do that,-?
Algy. I'm quite sure It's forbidden in thet
lease." Chicago Tribune, i
"Never mind." said the persistent poli
tician: "in spite of resentments I shall still
be in the public eye." "Perhaps." answer
ed the heartless critic. "But the same
might be said of the cinder you encounter
in a railway train." Exrhang.
Hickson It's all up with Saylor. Dick
son Oraclous! He's not doad ! Hickson
No: he's bought an alrV.ip Philadelphia
Telegraph.
"Tell me this." "Well?" "How does a
woman manage 1o get a gown from tha
dressmaker before the style changes?"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
To w-fhoirid w- hd this article re
ferring to the shipment of alarm clocks
to Peking?" asked the new reportr. .
"Alarm clocks to Peking," echoed the-,
busy trade editor. "Oh, lust head it ''The
Awakening o China." "Chicago Daily.
News. ,
The society reporter knocked gently at
the door of the rich apartment. "Pardon
me. madam." he said to the beautiful cre
ation in a nheath gown who answored hi
summons, "but have you heard what will
be worn at the dedication of the new tank '
at the Ladles' Gym Association?" "I have
heard nothing!" replied the creation, clos
ing the door gently. Puck.
"I want the Interview with me to have
the widest circulation possible." "All
right," replied the interviewer thoughtfully-
"I suppose the most effective way
would be to suppress it." Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
globe: sights.
fFrom the Atchison Globe.
Some men will take an awful lot of
abuse to keep from paying their bills.
How quickly Christmas comes after
vou have reached an age where you care
little about it!
It so often happens that by the time one
is well oft in this world, he is well on
toward the next.
Wnmen urn lookingr for rich husbands.
The nfn are poor, too, and are looking
for rich wives
It is every boy's opinion that lt Is a
waste of time to hang up matrh-scratch-ers:
What's the wall paper for?
A man does not realize that he la get
ting old until certain things he likes very
much do not agree with him.
When some people meet a widower, they
can't help wanting to ask him: "Do you
like your second wife as well as you
liked your first?"
You probably see a good many foolish
things in vour dairy Intercourse with peo
ple. In all probability, they also see a
few foolish things in you.
For every liar vou find who tells how
manv ducks he killed, or how many fish
he caught, vou will find ten llara telling,
of remarkable experiences in love.
A good deal of time is wasted in com
plaining about the unequal distribution of
wealth which might be used in getting
nearer what vou regard as your rightful
share.
A woman's compliments should be llkn
her dress: suitable to her years. To tell,
an eiderly woman she is pretty Is in bad
taste- if you want to compliment her tell
her she is "bright."
You may think you can be unnecessarily
disagreeable, and get away with it, but
you can't. Why does anyone want to be
unntcesarllv disagreeable? Yet how many
seem to enjojy it!
"Who are we to have In the parlor this
o-rnwleri a m n n t h other even
ing, speaking to his daughter. There had
been a steady hammock beau all mm-
ler. but the lamily naa not m mm.
A boy needs money for the Fourth of
July, a man needs it all the time, ana
the girl gets it it mere is n m .m
family. But a woman, particularly it sne
has children, would be satisfied to be flush
at Christmas time.
Q.Ti-.ri3 that vou were a man. and a
married man. and your wife should ay
to you that her mother and three children
had concluded to break up houpekeeping,
and spend the rest of their days with you.
What would you do? It would be your
duty to smile pleasantly, and like it. But
dog on your mean old picture, you
wouldn't do anything of the kind.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHKLORT
TFrora the New York Prefs.J
A man might be very fond of his sister
If she wasn't.
Thp wav a girl --makes a man think
she's clever is acting as If Hie thinks he
is.
One of the strongest habfts a man of
family acquires. Is pretending he isn't
when away on trips.
A man's Idea of having a gold time is
onlv when he gets home late from lt
with a guilty conscience.
A woman can worry mor over tho
things that may happen to her some day
than a man ovnr the thints that are act
ually happening.
c v i