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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURNAL MONDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 28, 1903. TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL By FRANK P. MAO LEXNAN. fEntered JulT t. 1S7S. as second-class matter at the postofflce at Topeka. Kan., under the act of congress. VOLUME XXXV No. 320 Official Stat Paper. Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS OP SUBSCRIPTION. Daily edition, delivered by carrier. 10 cents a week to any part of Topeka. or suburbs, or at the earns pries in any Kan sas town where the paper ha a carrier system. Bv maiL one Tear ...5.w By mail, three months Saturday edition of dally, one year 90 1.00 TELEPHONES. Business Office. ....... ... ....Bell vn ....Ind. vn Business Office Reporters' Room " Bj Reporters' Room I'; J5 Frank P. MacLennan ....Ind. TOO PERMANENT HOME. Topeka State Journal building. and J? Kansas avenue, corner of Eight n. New Tork Office: Flatiron building. .at Twentv-thlrd street, comer Fifth avenue end Broadway. Paul Block, manager. Chlcaro Office: Hartford building. Paul Block, manager. Hir, WTHE RKPORT OF THE ASSOCIATED PRTSS The State Journal is a member of the Associated Preas and receives the full day telegraph report of that great news or-a-anlastlon for the exclusive afternoon publication In Topeka. - The news is received In The State Jour nal building over wires for this sole pur- Christmas shopping is not over yet. Now comes the rather disturbing task of effecting exchanges for duplicate presents. Things which do not appeal much to Topekans these days are advertise ments urging them to, hie to the south to resorts where the temperatures are alleged to be balmy during every day of winter. Another fight for a former Kansas child has started in the courts of Buffalo, New York. "While It brings to mind the famous "incubator baby" case it also brings the hope that this new struggle will be settled more speedily. This sickness that has overtaken Mr. Castro at Berlin is sparing him considerable anguish. He is too ill to know that he is no longer president of Venezuela. Wonder may be ex pressed as to whether he will be sur prised when he gets well enough to hear the sad truth. "The white man's burden." or that portion of it. at least which is devoted to the maintenance of supremacy in the pugilistic arena, has taken on added terror because of the ease with which Jack Johnson, the negro, wrested the heavyweight fighting championship from Tommy Burns. That she has not been seen in Kan sas before has probably been disturb ing to the few in this state who think that Kansas should be first or well to the front In all things of this sort. But the fact that Mrs. Gunness has been seen at last by a railway conductor in Pittsburg, Kan., ought to help some. And the natural query is as to where she will be seen next. "We don't know the most popu lar expression in history, but as a rough guess we should say that the most popular words on Capitol Hill for a while will be 'out of money in the treasury not otherwise appro priated,' " wisely says the Washing-ton Post The same will hold true around the state house in this city as soon as the legislature convenes. Probably Armand Fallieres, the president of France, was in the same condition of mind when a fellow jumped on his back for the purpose of merely pulling his beard as was the man in the African Jungles, who, while being stalked by a lion, which he could only be dimly seen on occa sions, was struck in the back of the head by an owl on its flight and at a moment when the lion's where abouts were unknown. It might not be a bad plan for the people on earth to make the spirit of good will, which prevails among them during the Christmas season, a chronic condition. The wishing of happiness and the extending of good cheer ought not to be limited to a few days around Christmas. It does not take gifts, cheap or expensive, to accomplish this end. A kind thought, a word of encouragement spoken whenever the occasion presents Itself will be more greatly appreciated and of more real benefit, than the pre sentation of gold or diamonds. Kindly thoughts, encouraging words, they are the real precious gifts . which are within man's power to bestow. Alton B. Parker's assertion, that the decision of the federal court of the District of Columbia in sending Gom pers, Mitchell and Morrison to Jail for contempt of court is an assault on free speech and a free press, is worthy of the deepest consider ation. Mr. Parker is anything but a demagogue. Before he became a Dem ocratic presidential candidate some years ago he had served with distinc tion as the presiding justice of the Court of Appeals of New Tork state, which Is recognized as one of the Strongest courts of last resort in the nation. Previous to that he had en Joyed many, many years of distin guished service as a trial Judge of the Supreme Court of the Empire state. This court has the same relative juris diction as the District court of Kansas. Mr. Gompers has paid his respects to Mr. Roosevelt for the excoriation which was given in the regular presi dential message of certain labor lead ers and their methods. In his reply Mr. Gompers makes the good point that just because Mr. Roosevelt has an opinion is not sufficient reason that the opinions are the correct ones in the premises. But this has been Mr. Roosevelt's idea . ever since he en tered public life as a member of the lower branch of the New Tork legisla-, ture. If Mr. Roosevelt had realized some time ago that he is really noth ing but a human being and is quite as likely to err and form untenable opinions as are other men, he would have left the highest office In the land with many more friends than he now has. THE RAILROAD MAPS. That the plates from which the maps of the railroad systems of the United States have been printed will have con. siderable alterations made In them during the next few years and that In many Instances entirely new sets will have to be engraved is an important fact to which attention Is called in the valued weekly financial review from J. S. Bache & Co., prominent bankers of New Tork city. This fact is emphasized by , the absorption of the Colorado & Southern line by the Chicago, Burling ton & Quincy during the past week, thus transferring it to the great Hill system. The Colorado & Southern will need several hundred miles of new building to make it a complete link to the south. With this new road the Hill system now has a total mileage of 24,144 miles. jrhe net amount of stock in round num bers is J617.000.000, with bonds of $515.- 000,000. The gross earnings in 1907-8 amounted to $215,000,000, with gross in come approximating $225,000,000. The net Income of this system last year was $74,000,000 with charges of $22,000,000, the fixed charges thus amounting to less than-30 per cent of the total net income. . - The increased difficulty of smaller roads in making money under the pro hibition of rate cutting, says Bache & Co., is an argument in favor of the ab sorption of these shorter lines by the great trunk railroads, and this Is now going on in all parts of the country. When all is completed it will be found that the Harriman system, the Hill system and the St. Paul each has Its own line to the Gulf. In fact much of the work of harmonious division to wards this end has already been ac complished. All of this goes to show that while gigantic railroad consolidations were given a black eye by the supreme court of the United States in tne XNorcnern Securities case there is a way yet open to the railroad magnates of seemingly unlimited means for increasing their systems with existing railroad proper ties. They now merely have to bide their time until they are financially able to absorb outright through pur chase the smaller railroad companies instead of assuming control of a num ber of them at once through the scheme of consolidation which was declared to be unlawful in the famous Northern Securities case. CHANGING STREET NAMES. ' Attention has previously been called to the fact that the city fathers of Chicago are having troubles of their own which are quite as extensive as are those of the city councilmen of Topeka on the subject of changing the names of streets. The Chicago Record Herald printed an editorial recently on this vexed question which is quite as pertinent to the situation in this city as it is in Chicago, and so it Is re printed as folows: "The council committee on street nomenclature is forced to take arms against a sea of troubles. Day afer day as it proceeds with its work of unifying and simplifying it meets with angry proiests. The good old name is not only good enough but endeared by association. All the confusion that has been caused by mixed names and the duplication of names is as nothing by comparison with the confusion of a change. Such is the severe local opinion, and it has the same force in every locality. "It is manifest that if it were to control the committee could accom plish nothing. Once it adopted a policy of granting concessions its use fulness would be destroyed by its own precedents. We do not say that its Judgment should never be questioned or that it should never consent to a review, but it must have a well con sidered plan and follow it out. "The local exigencies may most of them be summed up as a present per sonal convenience. That certainly Is of vastly less Importance than the es tablishment of a rational system that shall bring general relief. Every one will be benefited by the change in the long run. Because of it the resident of the city will find his way about much easier; it will help the postal authori'ies, the street car conductors, all visitors. The confusion that it may cause will be only temporary. The confusion that it will dispel is a great public nuisance. "The committee should act with caution and intelligence, but having once made a sound decision it should s'and to its guns. Otherwise it might as well disband at once. Its labors would be futile and hopeless." New Prune for the Navy. A new prune, which- is served with a sweet sirup, like molasses, has been j sent to tne various snips in tne navy : to be tested by ihe men. on the lines: of the plan similar to the great tobacco chewing contest, which was resorted to in order to find out what brand of tobacco the majority of the men in the navy preferred. According to Captain Huey and Dr. Von Wadekind. of the battleship Alabama, this newest prune is a wonder. This new prune is a compressed af fair. The final tests are now being made in the temperate zones, and as soon as these tests are concluded some ship on duty to the tropical zone will receive a supply in order to test its staying quality in extremely hot cli mates. At the present time the prune tests are being made on the battleships New Hampshire, Idaho, Mississippi and Ala bama, and at the naval station at Guantanamo, Cuba, and the report from Cuba is that the new prune is good hot or cold, in the day or at night, and in any and all kinds of weather. A barrel of the prunes will be sent to Port Said, where they will be taken on board the battleships of Ad miral Sperry's fleet when they touch at that port. Another barrel will be sent to the armored cruisers under Ad miral Swinburne, now on the way to San Francisco, and a large consign ment to the Philippines for a test at the naval station at Cavite. "We are all for the new prune," said Captain Huey yesterday, "and take my word for it, this new prune has come to stay. Long live the sauiii JlJOi ,,-eunjd Paper Prom Okra. Early next week Mr. John T. Moore, of Macon, will send to a paper man ufacturing plant in Virginia a quantity of okra chaff. This will be the begin ning of an experiment of Mr. Moore's, and if it works out it may mean a for- tune. If it should fall through the loss will be practically nothing. Mr. Moore is of the opinion that okra can be used in the manufacture of paper as easily as wood. In both cases the material must be reduced to a pulp at the paper factory. The question is can okra be grown cheap enough to make it a successful com petitor with wood? There is still another step lacking in the solution of the problem, and that is a machine that will separate the okra fiber from the stalk. Mr. Moore has now a machine in his pos session that 1" thinks will do this work, but before he goes any deeper Into the experiment he will send the chaff to Virginia and await results. In that state another step in the experi ment will be taken. If okra is found to be available and can be grown at a reasonable low cost, Mr. Moore in tends to push it forward. At present paper, especially paper used in the printing of dailies, costs a great deal, and almost twice the price of not many years ago. Now, if okra can be raised cheaply and will prove a good substitute, there may be for tunes in the manufacture of okra pa per. Macon (Ga.) News. JOURNAL ENTRIES When a girl gives a fellow the cold shoulder he just naturally ought to freeze to it. The man who Is proverbially silent manages to escape saying a lot of foolish things. A man who plays golf and who de clares he never swears may well be looked upon with, suspicion. No fellow hesitates about apologiz ing to a girl for kissing her if she in sists that he does it between kisses. Some folks have no trouble at all writing stories, but in selling them well, that's a different proposition. JAYHAWKER JOTS The Wellington News is giving away scissors as a premium. But you bet the News will hold out one pair for its own use, says the Salina Journal. Great Bend Is the latest town to Join the Radiator baseball league. The Ra diator league Is one that always goes out of business with the approach of warm weather. Kansas City Star. The new mayor of Leavenworth has ordered the wooden signs pulled down, and the Wichita Beacon notes this as one of the first fruits of remov ing wooden heads from the council. Governor Hoch has had six private secretaries during the four years he has been in Topeka, which is almost enough, says Charley Blakesley, to warrant them in holding annual en campments. An Oskaloosa paper reports that a man with a team and wagon and over a hundred head of sheep went through that town one day last week on a trip to Oklahoma from Iowa, 350 miles north of Oskaloosa. The sheep are reported to have been in fine condi tion. This paper was In error last week in saying that the Presbyterian was the only church in Larned having its doors opening outward in compliance with the laws governing public buildings. We are glad to say that the Methodist church also has com plied with this wise provision for the safety of the public. Larned Chrono scope. An echo of the "wild and woolly west" as detailed . by the Larned Chronoscope: Old timers were remind ed of the cowbody days last Sunday noon when a man riding a broncho j and wearing a broad rimmed hat and gauntlets, booted and spurred and with a big Colt's revolver strapped in his saddle holster, rode up Broadway at a smart gait. He left his horse at one of the livery stables and later was seen on the street, his heavy spurs clanking at every step. We did not hear the stranger's name or where he haiied from. A smooth gang of swindlers have been taking in all kinds of easy money around Kirwin lately and if one may believe the reports that have come in Miles Perkins living three miles east, John Coles, living ten miles southeast. Will Hutson, living up in Granite township, and a Mr. Fisher, living north of Athol, are said to be num bered with the victims. It is the same old plan of getting the easy mark's signature to a paper which turns up in -the hands of the "innocent pur chaser" in the form of a note which must be paid. The sugar on the pill this time was a fire extinguisher. The well-to-do farmer was to be the "lo cal supply man" who was to handle the goods for the "company" and was to receive good pay for his trouble. The paper signed was said to be a contract between the company and the farmer in which the said farmer agreed to do his part in turning over the company's share of the big money that was to come into his hands and of which he was to get a part. Well, the signed paper turned out to be a note for $144.00 and it is said that some of the victims have paid their notes or at least compromised for sums of about $125.00. It is not necessary to point a moral. The goods sold are probably worth the money. The whole trouble will be for the man who foots the bills to be able to realize what a valuable thing is a big, smooth, patch of bright blue sky. Kirwin Argus. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. If you have presents to shed pre pare to shed them now. Men look to the future and women look for the present. Here's where the children turn the hose on old Santa Claus. Few of us would care to receive a Christmas box from a pugilist. An expensive Christmas present is known by its failure to materialize. It isn't the present but the spirit in which it is given that really counts. Actions speak louder than words when a girl is discovered under the mistletoe. Most women are Fisfied with the presents they get unul they see what their neighbors got. .. When it comes 'to handing out Christmas gifts, people seldom do as they would be done by. Those who get married on Decem ber 25. may not get wise to the true meaning of a Christmastide until later.- Electrocution has displaced hang ing in many states but this does not apply to the Christmas stocking. A woman . never feels hurt if the slippers a man gives her for Christ mas are several sizes too small. . The bachelor should beware of the female who offers to swap the con tents of her hose on Christmas morn ing for the contents of his. .It's a leap year subterfuge. KANSAS COMMENT WHT IS A NEWSPAPERMAN? This tenacity with which newspaper men cling to their profession through thick and thin is almost proverbial. It is not a money making profession, any more than is that of preaching the gospel or teaching in the schools. It rarely yields more than a comfortable Income, and in most cases not more than a living. Tet men love it, 'cling to it, and come back to it from what soever lure may have led them tem porarily into other fields. A newspaper man. as a rule, is a happy man. He may not be rich, but he possesses often, what a million aire could not buy with all his pelf The verv nature, of his calling (as a recorder of the 1ovs and sorroys. the successes and reverses of his fellow men makes him hroad in his views and charitable In his consideration of all the foibles and weaknesses of nu manity. It lifts him above the petty strifes and bickerings around him; it frees his mind from all ill will and hate. The things which stir other men to bursts of passion affect him not. He looks down upon as he would upon the petty quarrels of children on the play eround. When all else is in turmoil, he is serene. As the pilot at the helm of a ship he must remain unpenurDea, iur in his hand he holds the Instrument which can lead into smooth seas or dash the ship of public opinion straightway upon the shoals. And he likes the job. "Whoever has been a newspaper man," wrote the famous Balzac many vears nsro "will ever be one; that horoscope is as certain as that of drunkards. Whoever has tasted that feverishly busy and relatively lazy and independent lire; wnoever nas -..-cised that sovereignty which criticizes intellect, art, talent, fame, virtue, ab surdity and even truth, who ever has occuned that tribune erected by his own hands, self oDerated in short whoever has been, for however brief a snare that rjroxv of public opinion looks upon himself when remanded to private life as an exile, and the mo ment a chance is offered to him puts out an eager hand to snatch back his own. Kingman journal. THE PRESIDENTIAL SALART. There is no question of economy or extravagance in the proposal to pay the president a salary or siuu.uuu a year, though the congress is very apt tn seize urjon the occasion to make a stand for "safeguarding the people and the reorle's treasury." and kill the hill that oroDoses the increase. The issue rests entirely upon the leg itimate expense accounts of the presi dent's office, ir tne present pay inr hni-riKhins after the responsibil ities of being president are met, and if the presidents are retired as poor or poorer than when they went in, then the increase is seriously needed. The grant of the increase will not affect the national expense account one way or the other. A much more legitimate savin ir mav easilv be made in a hun dred ways. Tne nation expects iu pay its presidents enough. When the fair ness of the proposition is established, there is no room for argument for saving the money: the country does n't have to save tne money mai way, Ottawa .Herald. FROM OTHER PENS y RECRUITING THE ARMT. That armv recruiting officers should have rejected eight tim'es as many ap niirstntg for enlistment because of "alcoholism" the . last year as in the preceding is cited by a service paper as a wonderful circumstance in view of the spread of prohibition sentiment. Two years ago the rejections for this cause averaged about 10 per 1,000 of applicants, but the surgeon general s rpnnrt. lust issued, indicates that in the twelvemonth covered by it they rnsp to 75 per thousand. As the regulations governing enlistments have not been changed in the interval, the difference is not to be accounted for by their increased stringency. Officers are wondering if there is an increase in hard drinking among tne people generally proportionate to the per wntase of "alcoholics" among those who enter recruiting offices. Pos sibly an explanation is found in busi ness depression compelling many hard drinkers who ordinarily find some civil employment to choose between enlisting and starving. There is so much good material offering now that nffifpra have no temptation to let down the lines even in favor of mod erate drinkers. Boston Transcript. INTERSTATE THOROUGHFARES Commenting upon the president's country life commission, Mr. Bachelder, master of the National Grange, says that the reform which would mean most to farmers, in dol lars and cents, would be an adequate appropriation for the improvement of highways. This is a good suggestion and if we discern rightly the litera ture of the grange, it favors the rais ing of the money for this improve ment by ' cutting down the battleship building expense. That is itself a great argument for the road reform. It -is hoped when our new president gets in he will have it this way. There have been some slight omens that Mr. Taft would not extinguish the naval jamboree as quickly as he might, but we shall trust him to this, also. There is a possibility of fol lowing some of the Rooseveltlan policies rather languidly, and this one is specially referred to, of diverting a large section of the resources now absorbed in building warships, to the happier proposition of employing sev eral thousand men In constructing in terstate thoroughfares, and thus illustrating the federal principle in a grand and peaceful way. Ohio State Journal. GUBERNATORIAL PARLIAMENTS A conference of 'governors of the New England states is now in session in Boston, called together to consider matters of common interest which may be better forwarded by common effort. The better conservation of water-power as a means of manufac turing growth and stability; forest preservation; encouragement of ma rine industries; better means of inter communication between centers of population, and improved sanitation, are among the subjects to be con sidered. This getting together of the gover nors, east, west and south, to take concerted action, whether for uniformity of legislation as to mar riage, divorce, suffrage, corporate regulation and other matters of gen eral concern in which state authority is paramount or for purposes of sec tional and special improvement such as the meeting ' of governors of the coal-producing states soon to be held in Pittsburg to consider means of life saving and waste-stoppage in the mines, is altogether desirable. There is also high reason for the states to pull together as a means of dissuading and preventing federal encroach ments. Philadelphia Record. i BALLADE OF EXPERIENCE. It does seem strange In looking backl The recollection makes me smile. Of sumption I'd an awful lack I was entirely free from guile. My conduct I can't reconcile With commonest Intelligence. I thought I knew It all the while. I m glad I've lived to have some sense. I thought I had a sort of knack Of dres3ing I was great on style. Among the girls I was not slack Tile recollection stirs my bile. I used to wear the silken tile And silken hose at great expense. Silk underwear. I sneered at lisle. I'm glad I've lived to have some sense. I used to go out on the track And watch th ponies past me file. I bet once. too. on Red and Black I think they called him 42rocodils. Talk of your "sereents of old Nile!" He stuns me for my confidence. And yet I thought to make a pile! -I'm glad I've lived to have some sense. L'ENVOI. Son, I admit my taste was vile. My self-oonceit that was Immense; And yet you have me beat a mile. I'm glad I've lived to have some sens. Chicago News. He's Surgeons' Orazy Quilt. William Smith is puzzling the medi cal fraternity of Staten Island. He is a patient in St. Vincent's hospital. West New Brighton. Within a year Smith has undergone 15 operations, and he is now being prepared for a series of oth ers. He is only 38 years old, but his hair has turned white as snow. Smith has been operated on for ap pendicitis, Intestinal trouble, and stom ach trouble, has had his right foot and leg amputated, and in the course of a few days will have his left foot taken off above the knee. By the time, this has healed his right arm will be ampu tated, and later his left arm will have to come off. He is suffering from tub erculosis of the bone. - When seen by a Herald reporter yes terday, the patient was sitting outside the hospital smoking a cigarette, and told of the plans for his dismemberment. The surgeons have told him what he is to expect, and have consented to his walking around, with cane and crutch, on his remaining foot until he gets tired, and then they will amputate it. His right arm is swollen and gives him much pain. "I cannot even pray, for when I kneel I get so sore I fall over," he said. "I cannot sleep because of the terrible pains, and when I go to bed at night I turn and toss until morning. The sur geons are unable to disagnose my case correctly, each of them giving a differ ent opinion. The pains in my stomach are unbearable, and they are caused, the medical men say, by the numerous operations on my intestines. "I hope I die when they are taking oft my other leg, but If I live through that I will only have to prepare for more cutting." Before going to the hospital Smith was neglected, having neither home nor friends, and he eked out a precarious existence for ten years. His remark able vitality in recovering from the operations is therefore deemed the more marvelous by the physicians who have been interested .in his case. New Tork Herald. Literature's Debl to Rom. To the debate on the question whether rum is an inspiration to in dustry or a blight upon the muscle and intellect comes another state ment from Pro. Muensterberg, the Harvard psychologist who has been contending that moderate use of al cohol stimulates men to more and better production. This experimenter now tells us of the case of a brilliant New York author "whose secret trou ble is that he has never written a page of hia , brilliant books but after in temperate use of whisky." Unfortunately for the value of the instance, the author is a patient of Dr. MUensterberg, so that his name is kept secret. Thus we do not know whether the psychologist's Judgment on the brilliancy of the work done, by the said writer is correct. If it is, why does he want to be cured of the habit? If hypnotic suggestion stops our gifted author from putting in a quart of whisky before settling down to the delirious delights of composi tion, Prof. Muensterberg may be do ing the world an injustice and the patient, too. If the writer likes his rum and if the readers like his work, why not let him alone? There was the case of Edgar Allan Poe, who was a notorious soak; and if De Quincey had not been an opium eater literature would not have been enriched by him. Other cases are quotable. If our contem porary whose secret is so noisily guarded by Dr. Muensterberg should lose the inspiration of his cups he might fall into the commonplace lit erary style of a college professor, and from there go on down the scale to the level of magazine writers. Our investigator in psychology would do much better to find out the brand of whisky and let the literary world try what virtue lies therein. New York Press. Horse Kicks for Cigarettes. He was a lovable looking old beast the kind of a horse that one instinc tively would like to give a kindly pat on the back and say "Good old boy to. When the driver was ready to start out again he pulled the blanket off the animal s back and the horse kicked up his hind legs In pure play fulness, apparently. Maybe it was something else that prompted the ac tion, for the driver pulled a box of all-tobacco cigarettes out of his pocket, stuck one in his mouth, and then gave one to the horse, who stop ped kicking at once and began to chew the tobacco with every evidence for enjoyment. Then the driver light ed his own cigarette, climbed up to his seat, and drove off, the old white horse having never a kick in him left. New York Press. QUAKER MEDITATIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. Charity- should begin at home; fault-finding always does. A true Christian is a man who prays for rain when hi3 roof leaks. Even a man's success at poker may depend on the way he Is raised. Does a thirst for knowledge ever develop into water on the brain? The bluffer puts up a good front to compensate for his lack of backing. Even when a man can't count on his friends he can count on his fingers. The musical conductor should know as much about beats as the police man. Wigg "Do you believe in weather signs? wagg wen, n x nave my umbrella stolen it's pretty sure to rain-" De Tanaue "Bjones is a victim of the 'green-eyed monster." O'Soaque Jealously or merely delirium tre mens? ' Nell "Miss Antique is making a dead set for Jack Rapidde; he's ter ribly fast." Belle "He'll have to be pretty fast to escape her." Harduppe "Hello! Wigwag; lend me a tenner, win you 7" wigwag Lend you a tenor? What do you take me for, a grand opera impresario?" THE EVENING STORY Advertising for an Angel. By Marshall Cromwell. Cranston picked up the locket and hurried after the girl, but during that moment in which he stooped to pick the jewel from the floor of the ferry boat she 'was swept away in the press of passengers. He was certain that this particular gin naa dropped the trinket, for he had left the ferry boa, behind her, and he had heard the tinkle of the locket as it struck the planks. Cranston was decidedly Interested In her. Once before he had seen her in a street car, and she had haunted his memory for days. On this occasion she had completed her conquest, and it was a man very much in love who had fol lowed her from the boat in the hope mat something might occur to enable him to speak to her. He might save her from being run down in the traffic, or she might slip, or any one of a hundred things mlKht happen which would break the ice of convention and permit Cranston to take the plunge Into unconventlonality. And now something had happened but to his dismay Cranston found that it did not profit him greatly, though perhaps in the long run it might. The locket was of gold, plainly chased, and of no very great intrinsic value, but stfll it might be valued for Its associations, Cranston opened the case and was dis mayed to find there the picture of two small children. It was Just such a locket as a young matron might wear, and Cranston re garded the pictures dolorously. The girl did not suggest a matron, yet why else should she carry with her the pictures of two little children? His hopes rose again when, in answer to his advertlsment, he received a letter from Miss Eunice Remson, giving a de tailed description of the locket and of fering payment 'or the advertisement and a suitable reward. Cranston performed a solemn dance, emblematic of Joy, as he blissfully re garded tne Miss" written in paren thesis. At least he was not in love with a married woman. He made all haste to reach the Rem son home, and as he sat in the recep tion room, waiting for Miss Remson, he trembled with anticipation. By this time he was almost ready to throw himself at the feet of Miss Remson when she entered and criy: "Be mine Be mine!" like the hero in a novel. He was glad when Miss Remson en tered that he had checked his impulse, for she proved to be a sweet-faced lady of perhaps fifty. "You have brought the locket?" she asked, as she motioned him to a seat. I am very much indebted to you. "But are you the owner," he demand ed. "I should like the pleasure of giv ing it to the owner." "Unfortunately that is impossible," was the quiet reply. "Mrs. Weymer left for her home in the west last night." "Mrs. Weymer!" Cranston's spirits sank again. After all. she was married. The children of the locket were her babies. After the. hopes raised by the signature of "Miss Remson" the phrase "Mrs. Weymer seemed doublv cruel. "Mrs. Weymer is my niece," explain ed Miss Remson. "Here are pictures o my little grandnleces from which the miniatures in the locket were made. I presume that you will regard this as sufficient proof of ownership." "It is entirely satisfactory," stam mered Cranston as he delivered to the old lady the golden trinket on which he had built such hopes. "Don't speak of a reward," he added, as he saw she was opening her purse. "The advertise ments cost only a trifle." "Rut it was in every paper," re minded Miss Remson. "We sent for all the papers at least, and then, through curiosity, we looKea tnrougn them all." "Tt was lust a trifle." repeated Cran ston vaguely. After the nature of the reward for which he had hoped, mere monev recompense seemed a mockery. He had advertised to find the girl of his heart, not to return the locket. It was absurd that Miss Remson should be made to pay for this dash into the realms of romance. She was still regarding him with uncertainty when a light step sounded in the hall, and at Miss Remson's call of "Millicent," the girl of the ferry trip entered the room. There could be no mistake, and Cranston could only spring to his feet and regard her in open-mouthed as tonishment, which made him look re markably foolish. "This is Mr. Cranston who found the locket," explained Miss Remson. "My niece, Millicent," she aded in explana tion to Cranston. "Miss Dutton is doubly under obligations to you," she added, "since she was wearing the locket when it was lost." "I thought it was yours," declared Cranston, finding his tongue at last. "I ran after you and searched the crowd, but you seemed to have vanished into thin air." "I missed it and went back on the boat to look for it," she explained. "It was mother's locket, and sister Belle never would have forgiven me if it had been lost. She didn't know I was wear ing it." "I am very glad that I found It," murmured Cranston, and there was a world of meaning in his tones. "Mr. Cranston refuses to let me pay the cost of the advertising or to ac cept any recompense for his lost time," Interrupted Miss Remson. "I don't know what to do." "I do," cried the girl gaily. "Since he scorns filthy lucre, he shall have tea Instead. It's tea time, auntie, and I need a cup after all that shopping for Belle. T've walked miles and miles thorugh the stores. It must be ter rible to be married, and 'have to shop for babies who need such a multitude of things." And as she spoke she laid aside her hat and rang the ell for the servant. Cranston detested tea at any time, but most of all in the afternoon, yet he drank two cups very slowly, that It might last the longer. At last even the excuse of tea was exhausted and reluctantly he rose to leave. Vainly he had sought to learn of some common friend who night vouch for him, but he had not succeed ed and with laggard steps he turned toward the door. Miss Remson s voice arrested his movement. "I've been wondering if you can be one of the Cressville Cranstons," she said inquiringly. From the very center of Cressville," he assented jubilantly. "I am the son of ArBaugh Cranston." How strange, commented the old lady beamingly. "I spent a part of the summer in Cressville and had a delight ful time. I know your mother very well. You must drop in some evening and get better acquainted." Cranston looked into the girl's eyes and found there a confirmation of the invitation. "I shall be glad to," he said eagerly. "I er shall be at liberty to morrow evening. If that is er " "We shall be delighted to see you. declared Millicent, taking pity on his confusion. Her slim, firm hand lay in his for an Instant, and then somehow jranston found himself on the street again. From his pockets he fished a num ber of colored slips, the receipts from the newspapers for the advertisement, Slowly he tore them across and let them flutter to the ground. . "And to think Miss Remson wanted to repay me," he commented; "repay me for advertising for an aggel! I knew she couldn't be married," he added, con tentedly, "but she's going to be to me." (Copyrighted, 1908, by Associated Lit erary Press.) HUMOR OF THE DAY A beggar rang a suburban doorbell. Ths mistress of the hoose appeared, frowned at the man. and said: "Go away, please, I h,avent got any cold victuals, or old clothes, or old boots, or old overcoats, or r: Excuse me, ma'am." the beggar hum bly interrupted. I didn't want nothln' xo eat or wear I Just called to see. ma'am. ,, ,1Ma "n uia automobile to give h. i .y.?u' went on the l 'adv a hotel, getting quite angry, "I won t have this room. I aln t going to pay my money 'Or a pigsty, and, as far as sleeping in one ortaem folding beds, I simply won't do it The boy could stand It no longer. Get on in, mum." said he. with a weary expression on his face. "This ain't your room; It's the elevator." Philadelphia In quirer. Asked when he was married, ths colored citizen replied: "All I know, suh. is dat it iwuz des we en she 'lowed she'd git me ter de minute!" Atlanta Constitution. "I say, do you think that Wiggins is a man txi be trusted?" "Trusted? Yes; rath f. Why. I'd trust him wits my life!" Yes: but with anything of value, I mean !" Philadelphia Inquirer. Knlcker Whom does the baby resem b2?Z Bocker-it yell takes atter its fathers college. New York Sun. An interview with the Kaiser has ben suppressed. "Good." said the yellow cor respondents. "Fine! Now we can put any thing we want into that interview." Im mediately they all got busy. Philadelphia J-edger. General Fred Grant shows in a little story how a willing but preludiced witness mav confound himself. "Any complaints. Corporal?" said the Colonel, making one morning a personal Inspection. "Yes. sir. Tast.etha- 8lr'" sald theCorporal. prompt iXir,Th,? polonel put the liquid to his lips. Whv. he said, "that's the best soup I ever tasted!" "Yes, sir." said the Corporal, and the cook wants to call it coffee." Argonaut. Guide Kindlv notice the long time that elapses before the echo of my voice reach es us. Hello, hello, hello! Kcho (few sec onds later) Hello, hello, hello! Mrs. New rich (formerly a telephone operator, ab sently) Number, please! Philadelphia In quirer. DeSnail I guess I'll have to sav good night. Miss Weary If it will he"lp you along any I'll consider It said. Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Not a cent. Get along with you, or I'll call the police. "Gee!" ejeculated the mendicant, "dat must be one o" dem vicious rich. I've read about 'em." Philadelphia Public Ledger. "Mr. Chairman." began the man who is unaccustomed to public speaking. "I er I er I er " "Well." interrupted the Chairman, kindly, "to err Is human." Louisville Courier-Journal. "The women's hats are as big as houses now." "Well, mavbe they won't have to have an entire new structure every year. Maybe they'll be satisfied just to add a wing." Louisville Courier-Journal. "What kind of pavement are you going to put along this street?" "Well, it Is our intention" "So that's the kind. Is It? Great Pluto! Why don't you move out of this neighborhood ? You don't have to live here, do you?" Chicago Tribune. The June bride frowned. "These toma- toes." she said, "are lust twice as dear as those across the street. Why Is it?" "Ah. ma'am, these : and the. grocer smiled "these are hand-picked." She blushed. "Of course." she said hastily, "I might have known. Give me a bushel, please. Harper's Weekly. "I wish to purchase a hat for mvself." she whispered softly. "Merry Widow?" asked the cheery salesman?" "No. dole ful wife." was the pathetic rejoinder. Brooklyn Life. Fastboy Really, dear, you shouldn't wait supper for me this way when I'm detained at the office. Mrs. Fastbov Sup per, you idiot! The maid Just laid the table for breakfast. Puck. GLOBE) SIGHTS. From the Atchison Globe. "He meant well," is an apology your friends make for your mistakes; it isn't an, excuse. Every man would rather talk about his sins of omission than about his sins of commission. Every man seems to have an Insane desire to get credit at a cash store. He wants to show that HE can do it. Wo wish just ONCE we could be the first one to say "Merry Christ mas:" We always have to say "Same to you." It is said among the boys that when aboy walks lame, for fun, It is a sign he will have an accident, and be compelled to walk lame in earnest. Christmas tree etiquette: An only child is young enough to have a Christmas tree at the age of 20, but a member of a large family is a baby if he wants a tree when he is 10. When a man and wife come down town during the Christmas trot, the man stalks ahead, and his wife lags behind, looking in at the windows. "Come on," the husband Is always saying. A woman visiting in Atchison Is dressed exactly like the pictures In "Vogue," the swell elegant fashion magazine: She looks as though she had Just been drawn through a key hole. In many respects it is pleasant to live In one community all your life. But there is one serious drawback: Every man, in spite of himself, ac cumulates a lot ot enemies, who talk" about him, and appear In his path twenty times a day. Sometimes man accumulates so many enemtea that he Is willing to leave his friends. In order to get rid of his enemies, and move to a strange country. Every Mohammedan Is allowed four wives by law, but the custom is going out. Mohammedans say four wives make a great deal of trouble. They are Jealous of each other, and the husband has a terrible time. Mahomet was a prophet to his subjects, but his wives made life a burden to him. One of them once scratched his face, in a jealous rage. Having a number of wives may be all right In theory, but in practice it is terrible. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. From the New York Press. Even when a woman really believes in her husband's ability she can't help bragging about it Some men are so lucky they can have the water pipes freeze in their homes without bursting. Men concentrate their minds so much on their stomachs they have no thought left for their souls. WTien a man finally wakes up to what he's really in the world for he's about due to get out of it. The thing that can make a man ap preciate a fat girl is how nice .and warm she Is to be close to on a cold sleigh ride.