The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 31, 1908, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEKA. DAILY STATE JOURNAIt- THUBSD AY EVENING, DECEMBER 31, 1908.
TOPERl STATE JOURNAL
By FRANK P. MAC LEKSAy.
Entered July 1. 1875. as second-class
. matter at the postolf ice at Topeka. Kan.,
under the act of congress
VOLUME XXXV.... No. 323
Official Stair Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Daily edition, delivered by carrier. 10
cents a week to any part of -Topeka. or
suburbs, or at the eame price In any Kan
sas town where the paper has a. carrier
system.
By mall, one year "J
By mail, three months - JJ
Saturday edition of dally, one year... 100
TELEPHONE,
Business Office Ben inC
Business Office Ind 12
Reporters Boom Be" B
Reporters" Room Ind. So
Frank P. MgrT-onrun I" 700
.PERMANENT HOME.
Topeka State Journal building. ana
to Kansas avenue, comer of Eighth.
New Tork Office: Flatlron building, af
Twentv-thlrd street, comer Fifth avenue
and Broadway. Paul Block, manager.
Chicago Offli-e: Hartford building. Paul
BiorV. manager.
FT "LI. T.Fgyr WTRK HFPOBT
OF TITK ASSOflATFH PUFW
The State Journal is member of ths
Associated Press and receives the full dsy
telearrsph report of that great news or
ganisation for the excluslva afternoon
publication In Topeka.
The news is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur.
Tills signing- of a treaty of peace
between the-Mexicans and the Yaqui
Indians reads like a page torn from
the history of tha days of old Bill
Penn,
A story from abroad that Is sure to
cause a smile tells that Russia Is to
guard the peace of the Balkans. She
can not even maintain peace within
her own confines.
Boston will soon have to look well
to her laurels. Chicago Is planning for
m. pageant in which five hundred per
sona will appear In scenes representing:
the chronology of the Italian renais
sance. That's surely going some.
"So man or organisation can defy
the law," says Mr. Lewis, president of
the United Mine Workers of America,
which Is pretty plain common sense
and ought to be submitted to the re
spectful consideration of Mr. Gompera
and others.
A decision has been handed down by
a New York Judge to the effect that a
man whose salary Is not more than $6
a week need not pay alimony. Neither
ought any man who draws a salary of
this size have the nerve t get mar
ried. "
The Detroit News thinks that Mr.
Roosevelt Is not likely to meet any
breed of monkeys In the dark con
tinent that he has not already met In
America. This Is probably in accord
with the president's personal ideas,
anyhow.
Because Jim Jeffries, former chain- I
. . . . . . ' , . ... 1
pion heavyweight pugilist of : the
JJt 1 I
can be offered that will be strong
enough to tempt him to enter the ring
again, the Chicago Tribune thinks his
fight with the new champion. Johnson,
will not take place before next sum
mer. ,
A stranger In Topeka yesterday re
marked that he had never seen so
many good looking girls on the streets
of any city in the country. It was with
a certain pleasurable reluctance that
this man had to be informed 'that
many of them were visiting school
teachers.
The new era for Turkey will be of
great benefit to the benighted women
of that land, according to those who
are competent to express an opinion
on the subject. And likely it will not
be long now before a suffragette party
will be formed in the country which
has heretofore been considered the
personal property of a sultan.
After his asduous duties during the
recent campaign as chairman of the
New Tork Democratic state commit
tee. '"Flngy" Conners took a trip to the
old world. On his recent return he
remarked that "Europe hasn't got
much on New York city." That's
probably - in .the way of vice, crime,
poverty and a few other things with
which "Fingy" la quite familiar.
There Is some talk of inviting Dr.
Nicholas Murray Butler to the presi
dency of Harvard university. Prob
ably the football enthusiasts at Har
vard are not in on this deal for Dr.
Butler has placed football under the
ban at Columbia university, over
whose destinies he has presided for the
last few years. And Harvard without
football well, it wouldn't be much of
a Harvard In the eyes of many.
No matter from what point of view
It may be looked at the candidacy of
Charles P. Taft for a United States
aenatorship from Ohio seems to be in
trifle poor taste. A brother in the
United States senate would be some
thing of a handicap to any man who
might be president unless their views
coincided identically, which is hardly
possible in the case of two men so
individually strong as Charles P. and
William H. Taft.
Fourteen years in the penitentiary
Is the sentence handed out to Abe
Reuf, the former political boss of San
Francisco, for his activities as a cor
rupter of public servants. The exe
cution of this sentence has been stay
ed by an appeal. It may be some
time before Reuf actually goes to jail
and, of course, there is the possibility
that he never will. But that doesn't
matter much. The moral effect of his
conviction and punishment is the thing
that counts. It will be great, not only
In California, but all over the land
wherever grafters have carried on
their cankerous trade.
One of the oddities in New York city
la a hospital tor sick fish and among
the feats of the piscatorial physician
In charge is the saving of the life of
a German carp which was exceedingly
111. This calls to mind an excellent
recipe for the cooking: of this much
despised fish. Get a board of wood
similar to that used for the planking
of shad, basswood which is soft but
fibrous, preferred. Dress the carp
with care. Spread it out on the board
with Its back up. Cover it with butter,
pepper'and salt and a few slices of
onion. Then place the board and
fish In a hot oven and bake It for sev-
eral hours. "When thoroughly cooked
throw the fish away and eat the board.
TOPEKA AND PROHIBITION.
"How is it that Assistant Attorney
General Shukers can give so much time
to the closing of the joints about the
state whiTe more booze is sold right in
Topeka than in many other places com
bined?" asks the Fort Riley Guidon,
and it continues:
"A recent visitor In the city says
that Topeka is probably more wide
open than it has been for many a day.
He says that if a man wants a drink in
Topeka and fails to get it, it must be
for the reason that he hasn't the price
or his credit is no good."
An honest answer to the first ques
tion disposes of the slander in the sec
ond paragraph of this tirade that To
peka is "more wide open than It has
Wen for many a day." Mr. Shukers
and the other officials in the attorney
general's office do not need to pay any
attention to violations, of the prohibi
tory law in Topeka and Shawnee coun
ty because this locality Is favored with
one of the most efficient county attor
neys in the state, an equally efficient
sheriff, and as far as the city of To
peka is concerned an equally efficient
police force. These three arms of the
law have been working together during
the past couple of years in discharging
their oaths of office to their full extent.
They have enforced the prohibitory law
with the same zeal and success that
the other laws on the state's statute
books nave been enforced. In regards
to the enforcement of the prohibitory
law the success that has been achieved
by these officials has been remarkable.
The "visitor" quoted by the Fort Riley
Guidon must have been in Topeka not
more recently than two years ago. At
that time it must be admitted that To
peka was a wide open town. Joints
saloons, dives and other places where
liquor was sold and distributed were
numerous and were conducted in utter
defiance of the law. But it only took
a few months work on the part of the
present peace officers of the county to
put all of these places out of business.
Not only were they put out of business
but they have been kept out of busi
ness and joints and other places where
liquor was promiscuously sold have
been things of the past In this city for
many moons. It Is the exact truth to
say that never In the history of this
city has it been so free from Joints as
It is now, and it is the. expressed opin
ion of persons who are familiar with
the present enforcement of the prohibi
tory law throughout the entire state
that Topeka has few equals in this re
gard.
. ' . , "... ... .
That a large quantity of liquor Is now
. n,lra fh Hont
. . - ... . '
But this liquor is sold, not In wide open
saloons, Joints, or speak-easies of any
sort. It is sold in the drug stores in
accordance with the provisions of the
prohibitory law. Neither Is there any
doubt that these provisions of the law
are stretched to great extent by un
scrupulous druggists. But the peace
officers of the county cannot be blamed
for the distribution of liquor through
these channels. That's a fault of the
prohibitory law. As a matter of fact,
the Shawnee county attorney recently
called attention to the fact that tomb
6teps should be taken to restrict the
sale of liquor by druggists and so per
fect the prohibitory law that It will be
less easy for persons to secure drug
gist's permits to sell liquor. It is not
recalled that the public prosecuting of
ficer of Geary county, where the Fort
Riley Guidon makes its living, has
made any suggestions along this line
or any other one that will tend to curb
In any way the sale of liquor under the
terms of the prohibitory law. Neither
Is it recalled that this prosecuting of
ficer and others in various localities o
the state have made many honest ef
forts to even enforce the prohibitory
law. Indeed, Mr. Shukers, the assist
ant attorney general, his chief, Mr.
Jackson, and others in that office, have
confined their attentions in enforcing
the prohibitory law to those places
where the local officers have not ap
peared to do their full duty in the
premises and where the newspapers
rather look with derision on prohibi
tion. HISTORY'S HOLOCAUST.
No greater disaster m the history
of the world from Its beginning has
so overwhelmed a people as has the
one which, through earthquakes, a
tidal wave and the terrible tongue of
flame that ever seems to be ready to
make a devastation complete, has
visited southern Italy and, the Island
of Sicily. Fot the complete destruc
tion it has wrought, from the num
ber of human lives that ft has exacted :
as its toll. It stands alone. The havoc
that has been done Is so immense
that it can hardly be appreciated.
Probably not a person has read of
It without having had recalled to mind
the destruction of Pompeii, which
happened in the same land so many
centuries ago. With Pompeii were
burled the neighboring cities of Her-
culaneum and Stabiae. These latter
places were more summer resorts
than anything else but they were
crowded with people on that August
2 4, 79, when Vesuvius spouted out its
lava and ashes that burled them with
Pompeii But the population of these
three places, and a large portion of
it escaped, was but a tithe in com
parison with the number who it Is
estimated have lost their lives In the
present destruction of Messina,, Reggio
and other cities in their neighbor
hoods. From the excavations that
have been made on the site of
Pompeii It is estimated that the
population of this city at the time it
was destroyed was not more than 12.
000. Herculaneum and Stabiae were
much smaller places. And as stated.
many escaped the wrath of old
Vesuvius. So the two disasters are
hardly comparable In regard to the
destruction wrought by them. The
' story of Pompeii's ruin will be but a
pigmy along side of the one that is to
be written of Messina's fall and the
! places that have been swept out of
, existence with it. '
j The contemplation of this latest
calamitous catastrophe will instantly
1 incite the suggestion that the stricken
people of Italy will need help from
th- .., ,5 ,,, 0 ,,TT,e hut
tneir irienas, put oniy u.l "" .
abroad. The devastated zone is al-
most too far away for the sending or
supplies and things like that for im
mediate relief from this country.
Probably the quickest way that help
can be extended will be through the
prompt and generous contributions of
money to the National Red Crow
society, which has already started the
raising of a relief fund. The amount
that the people of the United States
should send ought to be large and
proportionate with their prosperity
and wealth. A small sum from every
one able to give will make an aggre
gate that will be an adequate test!
monial of the appreciation of this na
tion for the help it has received in
the past when it has had troubles of
Its own,
JOURNAL ENTRIES
It certainly takes powerful glasses to
give some persons intellectual appear
ances.
Some men frequently owe much to
other women besides their mothers
landladies, for instance.
& ..
When a couple refuse to look at any
body except themselves, that's a sign
they re in love, or think they are.
Among the most convenient things in
the world are intermittent memories,
especially If they are under control.
If a man Is worth all kinds of money
there Is never any doubt among physi
cians as to his ability to undergo an
operation.
JAYHAWKER JOTS
Land in north Stafford county is
coming into its own. A half section
of it near Seward was sold recently
for 114.000.
Wlnfield Is beginning to feel that it
is some pumpkins after all. The
alfalfa mill which has been erected
there has begun to grind.
One of the fields of corn at the ex
periment station at Hays City, and a
non-irrigated field at that, yielded
nrty-one bushels to the acre.
All of the Kansas crops seem to be
most remunerative this year, Fred
Spalding of Lucas recently sold his
mule crop, eighteen, strong, for $1,870.
I have watched the thing auite a
little and have come to the conclusion
that a lot of things done in the name
of charity are really nothing more
than clever advertisements to get busi
ness. Osborne Farmer.
There is weeping and wailing
among tne fire laddies of Fort Scott.
Old Ben, the big white horse, driven
to the chemical engine, who has been
in the service for seventeen years has
been traded off. Ben had not outlived
his usefulness. The fire department
decided to discontinue the use of the
one-horse piece of apparatus.
Santa Claus certainly visited the
Funk farm, six miles south of Atch
ison Just before Christmas. A few
days before the great holiday Mr.
Funk called his six children around
him and presented each one of them
with $1,000 in cash. Apparently the
next most desirable thing to being a
Kansas farmer is to be a Kansas
farmer's child.
A Garden City paper recently
boasted of the fine scenery that is to
be found to the north, east, south and
west of that town. The Dighton Her
ald retaliates by saying: "Dighton
people can also find excellent scenery
in the same directions. To the north
can be found the great lakes; to the
east, the famous beach at Atlantic
City; south; Mexico and Its orange
blossoms and west the Beaver and the
Garden of the Gods."
Judge Brlnkerhoff Invested in a
cnaurteur s cap tne other day. On a
recent Saturday he says he succeeded
in backing his machine over a tele
phone pole and through a barb wire
fence into his neighbor's garden and,
although he scratched his car some
what, he escaped without a scratch
himself. He thinks he is entitled to
belong to the reckless order of
shofurs and wear a leather cap
with a number on it. Lyons Daily
News.
The Ottawa Herald tells of a Kan
sas club woman who planned to write
something about "How to Raise Chil
dren," .before a mother's club, and
sought out a little meek mother with
nine children. "I know you can give
me some good information." she -said
to the little mother. "I know you can
tell me how to raise children." "Oh,
no I can't," replied the mother.' "I
can't but my husband has an old
maid sister who can tell you all about
it."
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison Globe.
Sympathy is like a compliment:
must be handled carefully to be
fective.
It
ef-
ve nave Known a good manv nonr
barbers, but never knew one as bad as
a safety razor.
A farmer said today: "I never knew
a lop eared hound that could catch a
v.oif. or that wouldn't suck eggs."
Women .are so generous. If a woman
even "has a suspicion." she is ready
and willing to share it with her friends.
When a man from a small town goes
to a larger town, about the first thing
he does is to go into a restaurant and
order an oyster stew.
A woman always finds something to
say about her husband's women kin;
if she can't say they are dirty house
keepers, she says they are too clean.
So few men know how to transact
business; they take up more time than
is necessary, with foolish talk. And
very few people know how to make a
social call When they are ready to
depart, they talk, and talk, and talk, at
the door. When you start to go, after
making a call, go; don't hang around
the front door all night.
If you succeed in life, you must do It
in spite of the efforts of others to null
you down. There is nothing in the idea
that people are willing to help those
who are willing to help themselves.- Peo
ple are willing to help a man who can't
help himself, but as soon as a man is
able to help himself, and does it, ihey
Join in "talking" about him, and mak
ing his life as uncomfortable as possible.
KANSAS COMMENT
OLD AGE: WEALTH.
Thomas F. Ryan of New York late
ly resigned as director in thirty-one
SSS5010?.6"?0
: , , ,
negie quit steel making because he
was tired of making money, and John
u. tocKeieiier gave younger men ac-
the Standard Oil
live management of
I company that he might build up
BLIonger stomach. All tnese men
went after great wealth, and got it.
only to find it would not buy the
things they most desired.
Carnegie
would have the nations be peaceful
and he can not buy international
npanfl. even If tVio "-Hi-ictTa rf tiA
guinea" does somewhat calm the
wrath of nations. Rockefeller would
have the youth he spent developing
, fe Tn the open' maVet Ryan woild
rest, but he can not rest with fifty
million in many corporations to be
looked after. Even his resignation as
a director will not wholly relieve him
of the cares and responsibilities and
worries of much money. Something
must be given for great wealth, and
we who are poor may find consolation
in wondering if it isn't more than
value received. Atchison Globe.
THE DEADLY SHOTGUN.
Some of the newspapers publish lists
of all the football killings that occur
in the country every year, and it is
always easy to obtain statistics touch
ing the number of suicides, drownings
hangings, and so on; but, so far as the
Gazette knows, nobody tabulates the
deaths and hideous accidents resulting
from the carrying of shotguns In the
Hunting season.
An accident list of the deaths that
have resulted from shotgun accidents in
Kansas this' fall would astonish and
dismay the people. The Gazette has
chronicled a good many In its Kansas
notes, but scores have occurred which
were not mentioned. The person who
reads the state- papers regularly is
driven to the conclusion that the ma
jority of men and boys who go hunting
are brought home under the auspices
of the coroner.
And the accidents are not confined
to the hunting field; children are al
ways playing with the family shotgun
and having their dear little heads blown
off, and two or three women have been
badly Injured recently while fooling
with the same implement.
All the game in Kansas isn t worth
one of these lives; In fact, the game in
Kansas isn't worth much at the meat
market or elsewhere. Men go hunting
because they like to kill something,
and not because they are hungry for
rabbits, or owls or coyotes. And many
of them return feet foremost.
It would take a Solomon to suggest
a remedy for this state of affairs, but
the state of affairs is bad enough, and
there should be a remedy. Kansas to
day has scores of fatherless children
who would not now be orphaned, but
for the shotgun and the mania to
kill. Emporia Gazette,
FROM OTHER PENS
COST OF THE PANAMA CANAL.
Halbert P. Gillette, editor of Engi
neer-Contracting, has been making
some figures respecting the ultimate
cost of the Panama canal. It will be
recalled that the' original estimates
placed the cost of a lock canal at $140,-
000,000 and of a sea level canal at $247,-
000,000. Mr. Gillette says that the fig
ures furnished by Colonel Goethals, the
engineer in charge of the canal show
that its cost will be at least $210,000,-
000. This,' of course, has reference to
a lock canal and doesn't Include the
$50,000,000 paid for the canal property.
This is an increase of about 50 per
cent over the original estimates. The
American people will be satisfied If the
canal is completed at a cost that is
double the original estimates. It was
freely predicted when those estimates
were made that the cost would be much
greater. It Is now stated that last
winter, before one of the committees
of congress, Colonel Goethals admitted
that the cost might reach $400,000,000.
There will be no great surprise if it
should be even greater than that
amount. It is only seldom that'engi
neers of a great work come anywhere
near estimating what the real cost will
be: It is a safe prediction that when
the whole cost of the Panama canal
is summed up it will be found to be
close to $500,000,000. Savannah News.
NAMES OF STATES.
Arizona and New Mexico repudiated
the effort made some while ago to
bring them together for the formation
of a single state. Greater part of the
opposition came from Arizona, most of
whose population is of different origin
from that of New Mexico, and objection
was made that the two sort are "unas
similative." President Roosevelt wishes
them admitted as separate states; and
effort to this end will probably be re
newed at the coming session of con
gress. Arizona has a population of
about 175,000, and New Mexico of
about 240,000. Neither of them will
ever be very populous. Their aridity
will always be a bar to extensive set
tlement and cultivation. Each of them
is much larger than Oregon, and each
is about three times as large as Ken
tucky or Tennessee.
It is proposed to change the name
of one of them, on its admission into
the union, to "The State of Lincoln."
New Mexico is the one that should be
thus dealt with. Arizona, as a name, is
unique, euphonious and appropriate;
New Mexico, as a name, has no signifi
cance. Only one of our states bears
the name of a great American, and
this came late. Here now la probably
the last opportunity for another; and
Lincoln's name should parallel that of
Was'Mngton in the list. Portland Ore
gonian. -
AFTER SIX YEARS.
It is evident that John Mitchell is
no longer at the head of the Pennsyl
vania Anthracite Mineworkers' union.
if one may Judge by the impossibility
of the demands which the latter have
made on the hard coal operators as a
basis for continued harmony on and
after April next. It Is at that date the
present agreement between minework
ers and coal mine owners will expire
by limitation. If these insistences are
lived up to, and if nothing in the way
of concession Is developed, it only re
mains to point to the probability for a
rough and rugged time in the eastern
Pennsylvania coal regions next spring
and summer.
The present attitude of the mine
workers' union is distinctly in the na
ture of an expectance of and apparent
ly a wish for a repetition of the disas
trous strike which dragged Its slow
length along through 1902. How these
coalminers could have imagined that
their demands could be considered fa
vorably passes understanding. Their
position in several directions, if lived
up to, points unmistakably and Irre
trievably in only one direction that
which brings so forcibly to mind one
of the conseriuences of the severance
of the official relatione of John Mitch
ell with his former followers. New
ark News.
I HER HABIT.
She mislaid her ring last Tuesday
And she hunted all around.
But for many anxious hours
It Was nowhere tn hA fnnntt'
Then she spied it on her dresser.
And she cried: "Well. I declare,
I Just knew I put it some place.
But I couldn't tell just where!"
popping.
cuuian i rina ner Key,
I And she searched each nook and corner,
Wondering where the thing could be,
j , ,w " on xne tapie.
exclaimed with injured' air:
a' But I couldn't tell lust wherS'"
,
The provider of the hr..
I Keeps his things where he is told
j Ifhey'ro not Just '""here they should be
very apt to scoia;
But her mind is daily burdened
By a sudden weight of care.
For the thing she wants is some place
And she can't remember where.
New York Bun.
His Shirts a "Menace rie,"
"Menagerie" shirt is the latest thing
in men's haberdashery. Alderman
John J. Coughlin, "the Bath House,"
is the originator of it.
He has been measured for a dozen
of the new creations, the cost of
wnicn win be $500. A Paris shirt-
maker In New York will make the
garments. One of the firm's retire -
sentatives came all the way from New
York to Chicago to take the alder
man's measure.
Rivaling the directolre effect of
the new garment will be a hand-embroidered
menagerie symbolical of the
alderman's amusement park at Colo
rado Springs. There are thirty or for
ty different kinds of animals at the
park, and each of these will be em
broidered on some part of the shirt.
Another feature Is that the bosoms
of the shirts will each contain 240
plaits.
"Yes, I have ordered a dozen
shirts," the alderman said, "but as
I am going to wear them myself I
don't see that it is anybody's business
but my own. I originated the Idea of
a managerie shirt, and I expect it
will Jump into popularity at once."
"The Bath House" ha3 not decided
the manner in which he will alternate
the wearing of the shirts. It was sug
gested, however, that on certain days
he hold annual receptions at his zoo,
and that for the monkey day he wear
the monkey shirt, and in this fashion
proceed through the category. Chi
Dispatch to New York Times.
Honolulu's Fete Day.
Honolulu has already begun pre
paring for the great annual floral na-
rade which for a number of years has
been a distinguishing feature of the
celebration of Washington's birth
day in the islands. In the last few
years the event has attracted more
than local attention, a large number
of tourists from the mainland and
from Europe having timed their visit
to the territory to coincide with that
date. The celebration Is in the na
ture of a fete, or festival, of which
the most conspicuous feature Is the
great parade of automobiles and dec
orated vehicles which takes place dur
ing the forenoon.
Hawaii's flowers are luxuriant dur
ing February, and as a conseauence
the floral decorations on the cars are
always most magnificent. As a result
of the interest taken in this evnt,
Washington's birthday Is celebrated in
Hawaii probably more elaborately
than in any other part of the United
States, and the day has come to be
considered the most important holi
day of the year in the territory.
Hawaiian Correspondence.
'tOO.OOO Pupils Suffer.
Dr. William H. Maxwell, city super
intendent of schools, Monday repeated
the opinion expressed in his recent an
nual report, that the board of educa
tion should have authority to compel
surgical and medical treatment of
pupils who need such care for
physical defects. - He spoke espe
cially for the prevalence of adenoid
growths in children, and said it
was well known that a ffections
of this kind made children stupid
and ill tempered and greatly retarded
their physical and mental development.
I did not make the statement that
adenoids made criminals of children, as
was quoted in a newspaper," he said,
but it is well known that these
growths are very detrimental to chil
dren, and should be removed.
"There are something like one hun
dred thousand children in the schools of
this city suffering from some ailment
which makes them defective, and it
would be a great blessing to them and
to their parents and to society if there
were a law giving some one the author
ity to have these defects removed."
New York Herald.
Elected Constable In Joke.
William E. Green, son of Justice
Elmer Ewing Green, of the court of
errors and appeals, and the young
man who used to be captain of the
Princeton baseball team, is now a con
stable in the Second ward, where he
lives in luxury.
The nomination came as a joke at
the direct primaries of last Septem
ber, and when the jokers had nomi
nated him on the Republican -tipket
they proceeded to elect him with a
greater majority In this heavily Re
publican ward than Taft received.
Green Is relishing the Joke, but
waiting for an opportunity to arrest
some of his rich friends, when he be
lieves the joke will be on them. He
Is of powerful frame, and could give a
good account of himself in a scrim
mage. Trenton dispatch to New York
Times.
Crazed by His Rescue,
Two Glouchester fishermen, one of
whom was a raving maniac from joy
were brought into this port by the
steamer Republic today. They were
picked up in open sea by the steamer
Michigan and transierrea to tne .re
public four days ago.
The two men are John Burke and
.Tames Burbine. Their dory was lost
from the fishing schooner Bohemia oft
Cape Race, and for seven days tney
drifted without food or water. The
fourth dav Burbine drank sea water.
and for the next three days Burke
fought him constantly to prevent him
from committing suicide. Both men
were unconscious when rescued.
When Burbine came to on the
Michigan and realized that he was
saved he became hysterical from joy,
and then began to rave. Both men
will live. Boston dispatch to New
York Tribune.
The Good Samaritan's Reward.
I was driving back from Weybridge
one foggy Saturday night when I
found a man unconscious in the mid
dle of the road. His horse and cart
full of cabbages were patiently wait
ing at the side. I asked the bystand
ers to help him on to the footboard
of my car, and, as we were starting, a
man came up, remarking, "Another
motor accident. Take his number;
have you got his number?" My num
ber being duly noted, we proceeded
to the Cottage hospital, where on ex
amination I found the man to be dead
drunk, but uninjured. He left the
hospital without thanks next morning.
Net results: He got a night's lodg
ing, a bath (much needed), and a
breakfast. I got home an hour late,
and had my number taken. The
Autocar.
THE EVENING STORY
The Alcantarilla Perfecto.
(By F. A. Collins.)
Except an American daughter and
a profound faith in his judgment of a
cigar Pepe Nnuez had retained few
precious possessions from his share of
the fortune made by his grandfather
in Cuban sugar and tobacco.
Pepe, the favorite grandson of the
founder of the house, had grown up
very expensively, exercising his talents
mainly in acquiring that profound
Judgment of tobaccos and wines for
which he is renowned In the Spanish
colony.
When his 'motherless daughter,
Arlella, attained her eighteenth birth
day Mr. Nunez made the discovery
that he owned a house In West
Eleventh street, but no money to
carry it on.
As a matter of fact, it was Arlella
who discovered this fact and brought
It to her father's notice. Arlella was
disconcertingly like her American
mother. She looked facts straight in
the face, while Mr. Nunez, by in-
I clination and habit. Invariably turned
1 his back on trouble,
But if he had succeeded In ignoring
disagreeable things for forty years, he
could not ignore Ariella. She said to
him bluntly:
"Either you or I, papa dear, will
have to go to work."
Mr. Nunez shrugged his shoulders
and gently fanned away the cloud of
cigar smoke which enveloped him.
"I will go to Uncle Alfredos," he
said.
To go to Uncle Alfredos meant a
small loan, described as temporary,
but which was actually permanent.
It would not solve the problem, and
so Ariella advertised for gentlemen
lodgers.
Then it happened that the pretty
Spanish girl added to her list of ad
mirers, who were mostly Cubans with
no wish to become Americanized, two
genuine Americans, Walter Brown
and Henry Vincent.
They had not been in the house a
week before each recognized a rival
in the other. Thereupon each, accord
ing to his nature adopted the method
of wooing most likely to win out.
Brown, who had a smattering of Span
ish customs, courted Pepe as the
shortest cut to his daughter's affec
tions. Vincent went straight to the
point and saw Ariella as often as he
could.
From the first the chief obstacle was
I PePe- the young-looking, white-haired
iamer. ri wm un suppvilou in
tensions of Brown, and whenever that
gentleman spent an evening at home
he had no difficulty in getting Senor
Nunez to come up to his room and
while away the time smoking a big
black cigar.
One day Ariella, In the lightest way
Possible, hinted to Vincent that Mr,
Brown's popularity was due not so
much to his conversation as to his
ciarars The hint was quickly acted
upon. Not a smoker himself, he was
willing to provide any number of big
black cigars for Senor Nunez, but he
and his clears were politely scornea.
"Your father, Miss Nunez, does not
like my cigars." Vincent confessed
stadlv one night, as he occupied
chair not very near the object of his
heart, and much too near the old aunt,
who looked sleepy and uncomfortable,
vet would not go to bed.
"Perhaps they are not very good."
answered Arlella. "Papa, you know, la
a famous Judge of tobacco."
. "I buy the very strongest and most
costly I can find," said Vincent. "
am trying to suit his taste, not mine.
"But why?"
"As if you did not know why
want to please your father," pleaded
Vincent.
"Mr. Brown has succeeded." said
Arlella. tapping the floor with her
foot impatiently.
"I've asked Brown what his brand
is, but he won't tell me."
"I will find out," said Ariella.
"Will vou?"
At this most Inopportune time the
ubqultous aunt, with a gleam or sus
picion. suddenly interrupted.
"My niece will now go to the piano
and play for me. No, Senor Vincent,
vou will remain by me.'
For weeks Pepe Nunez had been
seeking to advance the case of Wal
ter Brown. On this very day the
storm broke, Ariella cut short her
father's argument by hotly refusing
to marry Brown.
"It Is not you this Vincent shall
ask." replied the infuriated senor,
"but me, the father, Pepe Nunez. And
mv answer is N-n-n-o.
"What is the cigar Mr. Brown
smokes, papa, dear?" inquired Ariella
irrelevantly.
But "papa dear" elevated his black
eyebrows, kissed the tips of his
fingers with an expression of mystery
and turned away without answering.
It is certain that Ariella had some
occult reason for wishing to know the
name of this particular cigar, and
that she extended her Inquiries Into
other quarters,
A few days later as she and the fat
aunt stood at the foot of the stairs in
the hall waiting for Mr. Vincent, who
was coming down to pass them, she
murmured in answer to his bow these
aueer words:
"Alcantarilla Perfecto."
A few nights later Vincent begged
Senor Nunez to come to his room to
pass Judgment on a box of cigars he
had purchased, adding indifferently
that he hoped Mr. Brown would come
along and "sample tnem also.
"I want your Judgment, gentle
men, before I tell you the brand or
anything about this smoke
The cigars were duly lighted. The
Spaniard nodded gravely, took a whiff
and closed nis eyes. e iook anotner
and opened them. In their sleepy
depths lurked a look of perplexity.
"Do you know the brand?" asked
Vincent.
Senor Nunez shook his head.
"Before I tell you what It is," said
Vincent. "I must relate my conversa
tion with the dealer who sold me
these cigars. When I asked him for
them, he langhed and said:
" 'You are only the second customer
who has sought that brand, and I
have been in the cigar business for
years.' "
"Did he tell you the name of the
other customer?" asked Senor Nunez,
a smile beginning to dawn on his
"Wait a minute," begged Vincent.
"The cigar dealer went on to ask me If
I wanted that cigar or one which would
pass for it. 'The cigar you call for
costs $40 per 100,' he said, 'and the imi
tation, which few connoisseurs would be
able to detect, costs only $8 per 100. The
solitary customer who ever demanded
that cigar bought the $8 imitations, and
repeatedly bought it. and he said it
served his purpose well.' "
Walter Brown was wriggling in his
chair.
"This is a good enough smoke," said
he, "but I think Senor Nunez prefers
the brand I have upstairs. Shall we go
up, senor?".
'What is the name of the cigar I
have the honor to smoke, and for which
there is an imitation r ne asxea.
"The Alcantarilla Perfecto," said Vln
Knt nuirklv. . , I
Pepe Nunea turned toward firovo.
who had got as far as the door.
"Coming up, aenor?" asked Brown,
lightly.
"Por DIos, no!" thundered Senot
Nunez. "You have fooled me once. It
la enough." ,
Later that night Senor Nunez knock
ed at his daughter's door. She opened
it a crack.
"What is It, papa dear?"
"Hush! Is your aunt sleeping? Yes.
Mr. Vincent has asked me for permis
sion to marry you. I favor the match
You will be his wife."
"Yes, papa dear," answered Arlella
meekly.
. "Good night, my daughter. I klsa
your hand. After the wedding we will
have no more lodgers. This Brown I
will aend him away tomorrow." (Copy
righted, 1908, by Associated Literary
Press.)
HUMOR OP THE DAY
Farmer Medders So. th' bunco man told
yew be wuz a son o' good ole Deacon Per
kins, an' yew believed him? Farmer
Snakeroot Not at first. Si; but when he
started In talkin' religion . an' trytn' ter
pick my pocket at th' same time, by fumj
I Jes' couldn't help but believe be wu
Deacon Perkin's own son. Judge.
"Although my father is an invalid," said
Miss Howell, "he takes a deep interest In
mv musical education. He always encour
ages me to practice my sinning at home,
even when he's in greatest pain." "Well,"
replied Miss Cutting, "they do say that
one may be made to forget a great pain
by a greater one." The Catholic Standard,
and Times.
Hippo They tell Tortoise has passed
away. What was the trouble? Boa He
died of chagrin. After holding all the
speed booby prizes for years with un
questioned supremacy, some envious rival
Inveigled him into a match race with a
government contract. Puck.
"Papa's going to give us a check at the
wedding instead of a present, Tom." "All
right; we'll have the ceremony at higli
noon then instead of at 4 o'clock!" "Why,
what for. dear?" "Banks close at S."
Chicago Journal.
"Why are you always quarreling with
your wife?" "She is always arguing with
me." "But you need not get angry. Just
explain to her in a gentle tone where she
is wrong." "But she is never wrong."
vvasnington opinion.
Lord Palmerston was Interrupted at a
public meeting. "Will you support such
and such a reform, if returned?'' demand
ed n. -voice from the haJl. "Palm" consid
ered a moment, then replied, "I will" at
which there were thunders of applause
"not" he continued. amid vociferous
counter cheering "tell you" then there
was general laughter. Argonaut.
Bobby I've been an awful good boy
since I started going to Sunday school,
haven't I. Mother Yes. dear, you've been
very good. Indeed. Bobby And you don't
distrust me any more, do you? Mother
No, dear. Bobby Then, why do you con
tinue to hide the pie? Harper's Weekly.
Dumley Say, you'd better take some
thing for that cold, old man. Now Wise
Don't offer me any more, please. I've
taken too much already. Dumley Too
much what? Wise Advice. Philadelphia
Press.
Mabel (testing the wisdom of the grown
ups) Well, how did Martin Luther die?
Uncle Jim Die? Oh. in the ordinary way,
I suppose. Mabel Oh, uncle! you really
don't know anvthing. He was excom
municated by a bull. Sketch.
An Italian went to the Civil Service
Commissioners' rooms to be examined for
a laborer's position. He answered moat of
the questions correctly. Finally they ask
ed him if he had ever been naturalized.
He seemed a bit puzzled, but at last his
face lighted up. "Ah, I know whata you
mean. Seratcha de arm. Yes; lasta week."
Argonaut.
Tommy (aged 5. who has Just been pun
ished by his mother) Dad, I don't believe
I can stand your wife much longer.
Illustrated Bits,
Maud Jack says I grow more beautiful
every time he sees me. Ethel Tou should
have him call much oftener, dear. Boston
Transcript.
Tommy Ma. I met the minister on my
rwav to Sunday school, and he asked me
if I ever went fishing on Sunday. Mater
And what did you say. darling? Tommy
I said. "Get thee behind me, Satan,"
and ran right away from him Judge.
The. young housewife wa engaging her
first took. "Of course." she said. "I don't
want to have any trouble with you."
"Thin it do be up to yersilf, ma'am." re
plied the kitchen lady. "If yes make no
complaints Oi'll make no trouble." Chi
cago Daily News.
The Interruption. The Professor
Heavens! This was the day I was to have
been married. What will she think of
me? Assistant Vou were married. Don t
you remember? The ceremony took place
at noon. Ah. yes. to be sure. I recall
now my annoyance at losing an hour."
Life.
lyord Lweden is an ardent peerage re
former, and tells an anecdote in this con
nection for whose authenticity he pledges
himself. This narrates how a famous
statesman of the nineteenth century was
called unon to visit his son In prison. He
bitterly reproached him. remarking: "Here
am I. having worked my way up from a
middle-class home to a great position, and
when I die vou will be the greatest black
guard in the peerage." The son listened
quietly, and then replied with terrible
irony: xes wnen you aie. Argonaut.
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record. J
Even clear profit may be under a
cloud.
An opening for small boys A hole
in the ice.
It takes a woman of great strength
to hold her tongue.
All women are riddles, but some of
them are rather plain.
The fellow who writes epitaphs nat
urally selects grave subjects.
Many a woman's laugh Is merely a
display of dimples and dentistry.
It isn't always absent-mindednesa
that causes a man to lose his temper.
Some men are born leaders and oth
ers are satisfied to be cotillon leaders.
The gunner who goes after birds with
a flask in his pocket Is generally satis
fied with swallows.
If a man begins to sing his own
praises you can drown him out by blow
ing your own horn.
The man who is looking for trouble
meets with fewer obstacles than the
man who is seeking happiness.
WIgg "Guzzler Is a great Joker, but
his stories are always at the other fel
low's expense." Wagg "I've noticed
the same peculiarity about hia drinks."
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
From the New York Press.
The basis of a woman's faith In any
body is how much unhappler she would
be without it. k
The man who becomes famous usually n
does so through the efforts of others to A
prove that he Isn't. . f
A woman can generally manage to get
furs for a Christmas present If she haa
to give them to herself.
One or tne meanest tricks you can
play on a man is to act as if he's too
respectable to be invited to come along
with you and enjoy himself.
There's hardly a man who doesn't like
to pretend when he goes to a restau
rant that he's so well known there they
always try to uo soznetaing special tot
him.