THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURHAI-TUESDAY EVENING, SEPTEMBEE 19, 1911.
By FKASK P. MAO LEXNAN.
Entered July 1, 1S75, as second-clasa
(natter at the postoffice at Topeka, Kaa,
under the act of congress-
VOULME XXXVIII No. ..218
Official State Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
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Like most hopes, Carl Morris has
finally demonstrated beyond peradven
ture that he will never materialize.
Conditions si?m to be improving a
bit in Mexico. Independence Day was
recently celebrated there without riots
Mayor Gaynor's stock with the fair
sex has probably increased several
thousand per cent. He says that
most any woman a man happens to
meet is too good for him. Xor is
Mayor Gaynor very far off.
During an automobile race at the
New York state fair, nine innocent by
standers were killed by one of the ma
chines which ran amuck. This is
mere evidence, if any were needed,
that automobile racing should be abol
ished. If either of the aviators, Ward and
Fowler, who are trying to fly across
the continent, is successful and wins
the $30,000 that has been offered for
such a flight, he will probably find
himself deeply in debt beyond that
pum for the repairs it was necessary
to make to his machine.
It has finally been concluded by the
police in British Columbia that the
men 'who robbed the branch of the
Bank of Montreal at New Westmins
ter, were "experts." That is just what
every one else in the world concluded
immediately on reading that these rob
bers got away with $315,000 in cash.
A ledger of a retail merchant of
seventy-five years ago which is in the
possession of a Kansan shows that the
prices of all commodities were won
derfully cheaper then than now. And
it also shows that the wages paid in
those days were even smaller is com
parison with the prices than are the
wages of today with the present cost
Governor Dix of New Tork says that
the people of that state want the priv
ilege of witnessing boxing bouts. That
they are not very keen for it, though,
at $20 per seat was made evident by
the smallness of the crowd at the
Flynn-Morris go. Maybe, though,
New Yorkers were discerning enough
to size up Morris beforehand as a
lemon of large proportions.
To those who have shall be given,
etc. Gaby Dos Lys, the French dancer,
who is reputed to have cost Manuel
his job as king of Portugal, has ar
rived in New York with sixty dresses,
and as many hats, pairs of slippers and
stockings to match, and also a small
matter of $320,000 worth of jewels.
She has a theatrical engagement in
this country which will pay her $4,500
Something akin to robbing Peter to
pay Paul. Because of the high cost
of living in Germany the government
has decided to cut in half the freight
rates on potatoes, fresh vegetables,
corn, fodder and grain and t reduce
materially the rate on sea fish. If
this reduction in rates causes a large
deficiency in the operation of the rail
roads, the people who are now getting
the advantages of these reduced rates,
will have to provide for this defi
ciency through increased general
taxes, as the railroads of Germany are
operated by the government.
Chicago's vice commission's book
has been held up at the postoffice in
that town until higher authorities
shall determine whether or not it is fit
matter to go through the mails. There
is no probability that this book has
been printed for promiscuous circula
tion or for the purpose of furnishing
the general public with reading mat
ter. It is one of the most valuable
sociological documents that has ever
been prepared. Yet finicky govern
ment officials doubt the propriety of
permitting this book to be circulated
among people who are Interested in
it, not because some of its details are
"obscene" ln'that they present the re
volting conditions that have developed
in Chicago's underworld, but because
they can get valuable information
first hand on conditions that need to
be remedied and which are common
in more or less aggravated forms in
every city in the country There is
no such squeamishness, however, on
the part of the postoffice authorities
in barring from the mails such books
as "Three Weeks," which, while not
actually presenting obscene matter, are
more indecently suggestive than any
bald statment of facts describing the
conditions surrounding vice in the big
and little cities.
EDMOXD II. MADISON.
Kansas and the nation, as well, have
suffered a distinct loss in the sudden
taikng away of Edmond H. Madison,
member of -.he house of representa
tives from the Seventh Kansas Con
gressional district. Judge Madison was
beginning to loom up large in the na
tional political arena. Indeed, it might
be said that he had just begun a politi
cal career that was certain of develop
ing into large proportions, a serviceable
career, too, one that would redound
with great credit to himself and be of
benefit to the people of the wonderful
commonwealth that had honored itself
in honoring him; and of benefit, too,
to the people of the whole country.
Few men have ever served in con
gress such a brief spell and risen to
such a commanding prominence as had
Mr. Madison, "Ed" as he was familiar
ly called hy the men who loved him
and who were loved by him in turn.
He was one of ifie original Republican
"insurgents" in the house when that
insurgency was started against some of
the archaic features in the rules gov
erning that body. But he was not so
small-minded a man as to charge the
conditions that had developed In the
house solely to '"Uncle Joe" Cannon.
He believed that some of the rules
ought to be changed because they were
wrong. And he worked as assiduously
as any one with whatever weapons or
in whatever combinations that came to
hand for the changes he and others
deemed necessary. The notoriety and
prominence that came to the "insur- J
gents" in this memorable fight did not
turn Mr. Madison's head. He did not
then begin to insurge against any and
everything, against most if not all of
the principles and policies that have
made the Republican party great. He
never played to the galleries nor did
the applause of an unthinking crowd
sound good to his ears. He fought, in
the special congress two years ago, as
hard as any man could for further tar
iff reductions than those in charge of
the Payne-Aldrich bill were willing to
concede, but when his fight for these
reductions were lost he did not be
come peeved. He -oted for the bill
on its final passage, not because he
believed the measure to be a perfect
one, or fulfilling to the letter the party
pledges in the premises, but because
it was the best tariff reviiion bill that
could be obtained vindi'r the conditions
then prevailing in CMijress, and was a
more reasonable tarifi law than the
one on the statute books. With the
same sort of justness did Mr. Madison
meet all questions.
He was a progressive Republican of
the right type. A definition of that
kind of a Republican was given some
time ago by President Taft when he
said: "A progressive Republican is one
who recognizes existing and concrete
evils and is in favor of practical and
definite steps to eradicate them."
Judge Madison stood for progress in
all things. But he did not believe that
such progress was going to be brought
about by a tremendous beating of the
tom-toms and a wild shrieking from
the house-tops that every man in
America was a crook, a thief, a robber,
a grafter and everything else that a
man should not be with the exception
of the few who might think as he did
on certain political questions. It was
because Ed Madison was sober
minded, fair and honest in all things,
coupled with a remarkable ability and
untiring energy, that he had risen so
rapidly among the real statesmen of
the day. It's too bad the last call was
sounded for him so soon. There are
not as many men like him in public
life as there should be, and at this par
ticular time when strong minds, when
honest minds are needed to grapple
with and grasp the vexed problems
that are pressing for solution.
THERE'S A SILVER LINING.
The stock market is still in the
doldrums. Prices continued to decline
last week. An enormous volume of
liquidation appears to be going on in
the marts of stocks and bonds. But
ro longer are the operations in the
stock market a certain barometer of
the business and financial conditions
throughout the country. The pessim
ism that prevails in Wall street just
now is not common to the nation, and
especially in this western section of the
country, where all lines of trade are
not only in a normal condition. In
some instances they are better than
normal, and this despite the fact that
the general run of crops did not
approach the bumper variety. As a
matter of fact there is every reason
for encouragement that a reasonably
prosperous era is at hand, and that all
business in the country is being con
ducted these days on a sound basis,
even if it is not as active as it has
been. Important facts which show the
straws blowing tn this direction are
pointed out by Henry Clews, the New
York banker, in his weekly financial
review, as follows:
"On the other hand the situation is
not without features of encourage
ment. Our foreign trade is in excel
lent condition, a large increase in ex
ports serving to strengthen our credit
abroad and to bring our international
relations into more normal position.
The banking situation is also much
better than some months ago. There
is less overexpansion of credit, and the
banks are in a generally sound condi
tion. Land speculation at the west has
been checked, and neither bankers nor
merchants in that part of the country
share the excessive pessimism which
prevails in New York. In some direc-
tions the situation is already working
out its own cure. Liberal concessions
have been been made in iron and steel,
with the result of materially stimulat
ing the demand. It is true that the
Steel Corporation is only working
about 70 per cent of its capacity, nev
ertheless its total product is almost as
large as at any time during its history.
There is little reason for complaint as
to the volume of the steel business,
though profits may have been consider
ably curtailed. Similar conditions pre
vail In the textile trades. Prices of
cotton goods have been reduced, and
the result is a much wider distribu
tion both at wholesale and at retail.
In this direction at least, consumers
are already getting the benefit cf low
er prices. Cotton mills are reopening
and there is every indication that the
crisis' in this industry has been passed,
especially with cheaper cotton in pros
pect. Better orders from China have
already resulted. I' is also worth not
ing that labor, though undoubtedly
very restless, is showing some discre
tion and is slow in enforcing its de
mands at a most inopportune time.
Financial conditions are certainly
against making additional increases in
wages, and public opinion is not likely
to support the men in any further de
mands, with conditions as unsatisfac
tory as they are.
Many a man who does his best doesn't
About the only coat that is not ex
pensive is one of tan.
They don't seem to realize it, but
nobody pays any attention to the
It is seldom the case that one side
to a fight is wholly to blame for its
The race may not always go to the
swiftest, but it isn't good judgment to
put your money up on a slow one.
J AY HAWKER JOTS
A punch in the mouth Isn't so bad.
thinks the Neodesha Register, if you
get it through a straw.
Judged from the schoolboy's stand
point, says the Gove County Record,
this has been an unusually brief sum
mer. Some people think that Hades exists
only in the next world, says the At
chison Champion, but it explains that
they have not had the hay fever.
Despite the growing popularity of
the aeroplane, the Trego County Re
porter believes that the railroads will
continue to do business for a few years
It is the idea of the eNwton Kansan
Republican that those who spent their
extra money for vacations this sum
mer will now begin to save for Christ
As the Dickinson County News un
derstands it, the mad stone simply
saved the man three or four hundred
dollars, and anything like that has got
The man who gets mad at what the
newspapers say about him should re
turn thanks three times a day, says the
Galena Republican, for what the news
papers know about him and suppress.
The Galena Republican thinks the
grimmest satire on humanity of which
any genius could conceive is. a dud
hitched to a cigarette. And yet, reflects
the Republican, that dud was once a
A gentle hint from the Phillipsburg
Dispatch: "A certain editor, un
known to fame, states in his country
paper that he has been told that a man
who squeezes a dollar never squeezes
his wife. In looking over our sub
scription books we are led to believe
that some awful good women in Phil
lipsburg are "not getting the attention
One of the Gove county farmers evi
dently thinks that a poor but original
excuse is better than none. Accord
ing to the Gove County Record this
farmer came to town recently with a
bloodshot eye. He said that the facts
in the case were that he put his head
to the foot of the bed the night be
fore, thinking it would be cooler, and
that his wife kicked him in the lamp.
Tom Thompson of the Howard
Courant reports a personal experience
that will not .et very well with the
reformers who insist that it's the
many habits men indulge in that keep
them poor. Says Mr. Thompson: As
I never smoked or chewed, and never
played a game of pool or billiards, by
the usual accepted theory I ought to
have saved several thousand dollars in
the past thirty-five years. But I
haven't got the money to show for It.
From the Atchison Globe.
If a boy expects to work his way
up in a week, he is too ambitious.
The man who wears summer under
wear all winter will soon begin saying
How would you like to be looked
over as carefully as a new preacher
It sometimes happens that the oth
er fellow was right. Don't forget that.
It seems also, that the football sea
son usually gets a sufficiently early
Every man who swears feels quali
fied to do the swearing for the whole
Don't let your credulity reach that
point where a mule's meek look will
A man's credit seldom gets so poor
that it isn't easier to borrow than it
is to pay back.
Some people not only take their time
about it: they take other people's time,
A lazy person is disagreeable enough,
but the person who claims to do it all
It is also difficult to convince a
country depot agent that he Isn't the
Don't blame too jnuch on Provi
dence. Success or failure depends a
great deal on yourself.
When a farm do, begins to suck
eggs, it has a worse reputation than a
man who takes to drink.
What did Bohemia ever do to get
the blame of such a large per cent of
the more or less unwashed?
Just because he marries the "girl is
no sign the man isn't guilty of a few
hundred breaches of promise.
It is hoped the women in heaven
won't wear their crowns as high as
they do their hats in this world.
THE REAL COWBOY.
The cowboy as pictured in fiction
and on canvas is far different from
the real cowbo? as he is seen with the
101 Ranch Real Wild AVest Show. The
demand for western characters has
caused manv- to affect the chappels
and neck handkerchief in imitation of
the real cowboy, but there are many
things and characteristics about the
cowboy of the ranch and plains that
the would-be cowboy cannot imitate.
He cannot imitate the loping gait of
the genuine cow herder nor can he
have the same pair of beautifully
bowed legs. All cowboys are bowleg
ged. This is a fact not known to
everybody, but a fact nevertheless.
When you see a man or bov in a suit
of cowboy clothes and he is straight of
carriage and you cannot see light be
tween his knees you may well put him
down at once for a counterfeit and you
win not be wronging him at all. They
are not born bow legged but in infancy
they are in the saddle and the best
part of their lives is spent with the
horse under them. It is the constant
straddling of the horse that put the
curve in their legs and you will not
find one cowboy on the great 101
Ranch at Bliss, Oklahoma, who is not
Dent in the legs.
If you see a eov.bov with his hand
kerchief tied in the front you can also
put him down for a base imitation of
the real goods. It is not a matter of
choice for the cowboy to wear his
handkerchief around his neck. It is
almost compulsory and it is equally
compulsory to tie it behind and not
under his chin. He wears it around
his neck because it is easier to get at
and ties it behind so that the larger
portion is bagged in front and when
in a storm or fast riding he has but to
arop his chin in the bag like fold and
his face is immediately protected. Ex
perience has made him an expert and
with two motions he can drop his face
on his breast and when he elevates it
the handkerchief has been picked up
around the face and Shields it to the
eyes. Any of the cowboys with the 101
itancn. Wild West Show while riding at
break-neck speed can roll a cigarette
with one hand and hold the bridle
with the other. This is not considered
any accomplishment but a necessity
for if the cowboy could not do it there
would be many times when he would
not smoke. The real cowboy is a cow
boy pure and simple while the coun
terfeit is a cowboy only in dress. Cow
boys do not graduate in the east.
Arkansas City Times.
ABOUT THE COUNTY FAIR.
County fairs were instituted in the
early days of Kansas to induce the
farmers to stock their farms with a
letter grade of horses, cattle and hogs.
More scientific farm methods were also
encouraged. These institutions thrived
for a number of years. Lately they
have been steadily on the decline. Too
much money is given to the owners of
fast horses to induce them to enter the
races. This of course cuts down the
allowances for premiums on the farm
ers' stock and farm products. The
prosperous farmer figures his time and
expense to get his stock in shape to
enter at the fair is not repaid. His
land Is increasing in value and he must
be constantly taking advantage of
every means whereby he "can make his
farm pay better dividends. Hence he
keeps his fancy hopes, cattle, hogs
and sheep at home: ' There is not a
township in Brown county that can
show more fine stock and better farms
than Morrill. But the money that
should be used to induce these men to
place their products on display at the
fair is given to the men with fast
horses. The day of races is past in the
farming districts. Unless a change is
made in the management of the county
fairs they will sooner or later be rele
gated to the scrap pile. Morrill News.
TAFT IN A NEW LIGHT.
"Uncle Joe" Cannon chuckles in
glee over President Taft's unsparing
disclosure of the hollowness of insur
gent pretensions to Republican alle
giance. "La Follette and his whole
crew are not worth one Taft," was the
sweeping comment of the former
speaker, upon reading the Hamilton
speech signalizing the parting of the
ways. Declaring that he has been
quite won over from a certain aloof
ness of feeling toward the president,
"Uncle Joe" explained- that it was be
cause of the enemies the president has
The veteran is not to be counted
among the timid souls who would have
Mr. Taft bemean himself to the insur
gents for fear they might get real mr.d
and borrow Champ Clark's hammer
and tongs. It was freely predicted
that the president's denunciation of
men who called themselves Republi
cans would sever the last tie, at a
heavy cost to his political fortunes.
But what has actually resulted? Do
not the signs toint to a rousing of the
party conscience,' not among the regu
lars alone, but among the lukewarm,
who were half-persuaded that radical
ism had a mission t- perform. Nor is
it too much to say that the r icture the
president drew has given pause to tha
insurgent movement as a whole, lead
ership and following. Assuredly, the
run-amuck policy of La Follette and
his lieutenants, if not brought to its
knees, could have no other result than
division and defeat. Washington Post.
PATERSON STANDS PAT.
The opportunity afforded by a new
statute for easy change to the "com
mission plan" from existing systems of
municipal government throughout New
Jersey is refused by Paterson, as i'.
has been by a majority of the cities, so
far, that have been required by tha
enthusiasm of the friends of commis
sion government to vote on the ques
tion. The issue as presented to Pater
son was conspicuously one of a change
for the sake of a change. It seems
that the present charter was adopted
only six years ago and the administra
tion has proved satisfactory. The
mayor, who is serving his second term,
was able to submit to the voters a
record of material accomplishment
which the commission advocates were
bound to discredit if a genuine need for
another form were to be shown.
The large taxpayers appear to have
been solidly against a change, although
it is to this class that the commission
plan usually makes its strongest ap
peal. The vo'te was overwhelmingly
against; but. had it not been, the poll
for adoption being less than the per
centage of the total canvass necessary
to secure a change under the law, the
proposition would have been defeated.
It is rather futile to advance such a
proposal so long as a municipal sys
tem of any orhet variety is working
well. The argument that one plan or
another has peculiar sanctity does not
seem to be particularly forcible.
Providence Journal. -
If FROM OTHER PENS
( ... J
Pale, purple veils of misty cloud
The tops of distant hill3 enshroud,
While in the valleys down below
The leaves begin to burn and glow
With tawny orange, brown and red.
Proclaiming summer dying, dead;
The air is filled with molten gold,
And floating, silken webs that hold
To shrubs and trees and Idly swing,
While through their fragile meshes spring
Whole troops of fairy thistledown
And elves from Dandelion town;
The winding roads lie pale and light
With velvet dust of gleaming white,
And fade away in mellow haze
In tints of gold and color grays;
The drowsy bees buzz slowly by
And drone contentment as they fly;
While lesser insects everywhere,
With strident pipings fill the air;
Anon, from distant harvest fields.
Where earth her o'.den treasure yields,
3 s borne the reaper's lusty song.
Which echoing hills and vales prolong;
And from the vineyard there escapes
The luclous smell of sun-kissed grapes;
The days are summery and warm.
The nights are cool ah, what a charm
Is coupled with the first hearth fire!
And how our hearts yearn with desire
For numberless September days
Before the Frost King blights and slays!
Harvey Peake, in the Chicao Inter-Ocean.
THE EVENING STORY
(By Claudine Sisson.)
At the age of twenty-three, when
Moses Smith was married, he was
spoken of as a hustler. As a carpen
ter by trade, he was at work early and
late. Two years later he fell off a scaf
fold and hurt his back. He was petted
and pitied and sympathized with, and,
although after six weeks of loafing, the
doctor pronounced Moses as good as
new, the carpenter had lost his hustle.
His wife dreaded that he might injure
himself by going to work too soon and
sho started dressmaking to support
them while he loafed.
Moses Smith's mother-in-law lived
in another state. She heard how
things were going, but it was a year
before she came on. She found Moses
growing fat and his wife growing lean.
It didn't take the old lady over a week
to size things up. In her time she had
known of several lame-backed men
and foolish wives. With the doctor to
back her, she announced that her
daughter must go away and rest for a
month to prevent a nervous break
down. She would remain to keep
house for Moses.
The lame-backed man didn't like it
at all. It meant an overturning of his
pleasant program. He doubted if
there would be any more tea and
toast and "poor-Moses!" for him. He
was overruled, however, and the morn
ing his wife started away he went
down to the village postoffice and took
his old seat on the veranda and hoped
for the best. At noon he returned
home to meet with a surprise. No
fire no dinner. In reply to his look
of bewilderment the lady with the iron
You didn t cut any wood, ana so
there's no dinner."
But I can't raise the axe with this
Then you won't have to raise knife
Moses went back to the grocery and
filled up on a raw turnip. He went
home to supper, but there was no sup
per. No wood no supper. He went
out and sat down under a lilac bush,
and his eyes filled with tears. He was
in the habit of going to bed at 9 and
getting up at the same hour next
morning. His going to bed on this oc
casion was according to program, but
he was aroused at 8 o'clock by a dash
of water in his face. He had been
called twice in vain.
Moses, the axe and the woodpile!'
said the mother-in-law as he came
down stairs with a scowl on his brow.
You know I'm a cripple," he an
"No wood no breakfast!"
He went slowly out and bent to
pick up the axe arid straighten up with
a groan and his nand to nis DacK.
It's a crik In the back," said the
woman, "l m giaa to una it out. i ve
tackled fourteen different crlks and
cured each and every one. If I can
cure you then Nelly will be very happy
when she returns. Come along out to
'But what's the smokehouse going
to do for a man whose spinal cord
is all knotted up?"
'Treatment, Moses treatment. Just
He stepped, and the door was closed
on him and locked. He found a cot, a
jug of water and a loaf of bread. He
kicked on the door and called out to
know what it all meant, and was told
to cuddle down and take treatment for
the cure, of general laziness, drink, a
crick in the back and lying abed in the
morning. He was warned that any ex
tra emotion on his part would make
the crik worse, and told that there was
no objection to his sleeping all day.
Moses was foolish enough to kick and
shout until a score of villagers came
running to see what the matter was.
To one and all the mother-in-law an
"Moses has had a crik In the back
for a year past, and I've set out to cure
it. I hope to meet with great success.
In fact, I don't think his wife will have
to do dressmaking when she comes
back. Thanks for calling. Come
During the first day Moses thought
and slept by turns, and now- and then
shed tears. In a few hours his life
had changed over and his peace and
comfort had departed.
At sundown more bread and water.
He yelled and kicked and again he
was warned to suppress his emotions.
He demanded better fare, but was an
swered that until his crik got so that
he could use the axe there would be no
cooking. On the second night he seri
ously thought of suicide, and he smiled
joyously as he conjured up a mental
picture of the mother-in-law opening
the door in the morning and finding
him stark and stiff in death. But suc
cessfully to commit suicide one must
have something more than a jug of
water and a loaf of bread at hand.
Moses couldn't choke himself with
Breakfast was the samo old bill of
fare, and the woman still had her
Iron jaw. There was no conversation.
Moses nibbled and sipped and thought.
An hour before noon he called out and
when asked what he wanted he very
"Mother, I believe that crik Is bet
ter." "It's too soon, Moses it's too soon."
"Maybe, if I was very careful, I
could split a few sticks of wood to get
"I wouldn't have you try it for the
world, my dear son-in-law. You have
been in dreadful bad shape for a year.
Any undue exertion might finish you.
You shall have a raw tomato to he,lp
out your dinner, as that goes with the
treatment. If it wasn't half a mile to
the nearest saloon I'd ask you to have
a glass of beer with me."
Moses didn't have such a lame back
that he couldn't understand sarcasm.
and he raised another row. Again the
neighbors came, but when he appealed
to them for help they looked at the
mother-in-law. she asked them not to
Interfere with her treatment. She had
set out to cure his crik, and they could
all notice that his voice was growing
stronger. That smokehouse door was
the first thing he had raised his foot
to kick in a whole year.
Bread and water again for supper,
and another long night. Not a look
of pity not a "poor Moses!" Truly,
things had changed. At midnight
Moses sat up on his cot to decide two
questions. Was his crik really better?
Was this his mother-in-law's fifteenth
cure? Should he go to work? After
an hour he decided both cases in the
affirmative, and in the morning he was
ready to say:
"Mother, I've been doing some seri
ous thinking since you were here last."
"You have? I am sorry for that. I
w-arned you not to strain your mind.
You must be very, very quiet."
"I I ought to have been at work
for months past."
"But the lame back, you know?"
"I shouldn't have got to beer drink
ing." "But you had to, poor man."
"If you'll let me out now I'll have a
job before night."
"I couldn't, Moses I couldn't. It's
altogether too sudden. If you went to
work now it might be the last of you,
and I don't want my daughter a
widow. Let's do a good job and not
hurry it." I
It was on the morning of the tenth
day, and after two ministers and a
score of laymen had pleaded for Moses,
mat tne Door was unlocked and an axe
put into his hands. He walked straight
to the woodpile and made the chips
nj. When he had worked for two
hours he put on his coat and started to
look for a job, and when his wife came
home he was at work on a new barn.
There was astonishment at his cure,
and surprise that he wouldn't tell how
it had been brought about. All the ex
planation he made was that he sud
denly felt something give way. The
mother was a little clearer as she
"Nellie, all men want a mother-in-law
around the house, but some want
them more than others. If I were you
I'd let it kind o' leak out around the
village that you ain't going to do any
mere dressmaking, and that Moses is
going to give sitting up on the post
office steps and put in ten hours' work
for eight hours' pay." (Copyright,
1911, by Associated Literary Press.)
Xerve Kails as Crook.
Leon Gupiel didn't have the nerve to
be a crook. He tried hard, he told In
spector Hughes, and when they picked
him up yesterday he had a revolver
tucked away in his hip pocket, a mask
made out of an old sock, and a "get
away" cap, but Gupiel had never had
the nerve to use them.
Gupiel comes from a farm up In Deer
ing. Me., and it wasn't so very many
years ago that he used to work in the
village grocery store and deal out good
to housewives of Deering. But the cail
of the city rang in his ears and he
started for Boston with hope looming
big and a mighty small amount of
He managed to work as a waiter in
Boston for a time and saved up enough
money to come to New York. He went
to the Mills hotel in Bleecker street
while he looked for a job. Two weeks
he looked and his money was getting
very low. Waiters did not seem to be
wanted in New York, and anyway no
body seemed to want Leon.
So he decided that If no one wouIrT
give him a chance to work honestly for
a living he would make one some other
way. He bought a .32 caliber revolver
and in his room cut holes In an old
sock so that it would fit over his eyes
and fasten by a string behind. The
cap was obtained in a second-hand
Yesterday he gave it up. He would
get rid of the revolver, and with the
money he could get for It manage to
drag out for a few days and then
Leon never answered the question, for
yesterday as he was going down West
Broadway on the way to a pawnshop
Detectives Trabuccl and Donohue
noticed the bunch In his hip pocket and
grabbed him. New York Sun.
Mayor Rescues Kitten.
Touched by the plight of a kitten
which was mewing pitifully from its
position high up in a tree in the
grounds of the executive mansion,
where it had been for two days. Mayor
James F. Strange climbed up and
rescued it this morning.
The work of mercy was not unat
tended with difficulty, for the kitten,
perhaps terrified with visions of a dog
which may have chased it to its refuge
and nearly wild through hunger and
exposure to the rain and cold during
48 hours, was at first afraid of Its
rescuer and went out on a sma-i
branch, where it was impossible to
After vain efforts to tempt the cat
to try the trip down the trunk of the
tree from the point at which it was
resting, 20 feet ahove the ground, a
ladder was borrowed from the execu
tive mansion, and Mayor Strange
mounted to a crotch, from which he
could reach to within a foot or two of
the kitten. The feline hesitated to
come within reach at first, but the
mayor's persuasion finally coaxed it
within reach, and he was able to seize
it and carry it down the ladder to the
The kitten was at first too exhausted
to make any effort to leave the vicin
ity, but after being warmed and fed it
forgot the terrors which had driven it
to its leafy prison and kept it in dur
ance during two stormy days, and be
came as lively as If it had spent the
period under a kitchen stove. An
napolis dispatch to the Baltimore
Priest Must Deny Polygamy.
"Are you a polygamist ?" was the
question put to a Roman Catholic
priest yesterday by Judge Lacombe in
the United Slates circuit court when
the Rev. Father Matias Cuevas, head
of the Roman Catholic orphan asylum
at Manuet, Rockland county, N. Y.,
sought full citizen's papers in the nat
uralization branch of the court. The
question, which appears surprising in
the present instance, is one of the set
interrogations which must be answer
ed by all applicants for citizenship.
New York Evening Sun.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press
The littler the girl the bigger charge
of dynamite she can be for some man.
A man who is able to help support
a lot of his relations always gets the
What we mostly object to about a
great talker is that we aren't doing it
It discourages a woman to have her
husband go shopping with her because
he wants to buy something.
A man can sit up all night in a poker
game and never feel it, but being kept
awake one hour by the baby will break
down his health.
Now that it is over, and the dust
has settled, this department wishes to
thank the several Kansas towns that
loaned pretty girls. If they were a
lair sample, suid towns should be proud
of the decorations Topeka used on lis
semi-centennial floats. Time may come
when we think it necessary to take a
poke at some of the Kansas towns we
are busily thanking in this paragraph,
but NEVAH r. time we have anything
softer than a wallop on the Jaw for
anyone who make', slighting remarks
about the class of Kansas beauties ex
hibited in that pageant. A lant at
them was worth the trip to Topeka
including hotel bills.
There are times, in the life of every
man, when he wonders how a broker
ever made money by lending It.
If Col. Astor experiences as much
trouble after taking as he did before
taking, he will regret the price he paid
for the prescription. (
Several thousands of people will see
Taft when he passes through Kansas
and 99 per cent of them will see him
for the first time curiosity: two thou
sand children met Balie Wsggener at
the depot, and every one of them had
seen him several times before; that
WASN'T curiosity. Let s rnuss up the
old saw !ong enough to chirp: "I'd rath
er be Balie Waggener than to be Pres
ident." Rest seats at the Morris-FIynn dis
turbance were $20 each. This Item
should be listed under "Increased cost
of living" as the record high price for
a cheese sandwich.
You can Fee the Brookj comet free.
That Is undoubtedly the reason you
haven't taken the trouble to look for it.
Tomorrow Is our day off; going up to
Horton to visit Charley Browne and
the rest of the boys. Key under the
south ("contributions") wastebasket.
liVMOR OF THE DAY
Suburb I tell you there Is nothing like
a trip to the country! Avenue Yes; it
certainly makes one appreciate the city
the better. Judge's IJbrary.
"If I buy you a seat In the 8torK Ex
change will you agree to go to work? "I
ain't crazy for work, dad. Make It a
seat In the sepate." Louisville Courier
Journal. "Doctor, do you really think all the op
erations you perform are absolutely nec
essary?" "Absolutely. 1 couldn't take my
family to Europe without them." Balti
"I was charmed with the oratory of the
lecturer. That man oustht to be in con
gress." "Why, that's JUBt where he Is.''
"Well, he deserves to get out of It!" At
"How wuz de feed In de last jail yon
wuz in. Dusty?" "Just so-so, me hoy."
"How wuz dat?" "Ke jeunner w us bread
an' water. Kepeat t ree times an' you
have de dally menu." Birmingham Age
Herald. New Stable Lad watohlng hired mount
depart, plunging with Its rider) That 'uu
ain't 'ardly safe. I wonder you keeps "Im.
Master Best 'oss we've got; find 'Is way
'ome alone from anywhere, 'e will, like a
"Have you spoken of our love to your
mother as yet?" "Not yet," murmured
the dear girl. "Mother has noticed that
I've been acting queer of late, but she
thinks It's Just biliousness." Pittsburg
"My wife often alludes tearfully to the
fact that she threw over a millionaire to
marrv me." "Mine's Just as bad. Her
father offered to buy her a Freneh poodl
if she'd turn me down." Louisville Courier-Journal.
Prospective Boarder Do you set a gnod
table here? Kural landlady (inod table?
Great Scott, man! Look at the alze of
those flies! Puck.
Customer fin bake shop) Is this bread
today's? Counter Oiri Yes'm. Customer
The reason I ask Is because the bread
1 got here yesterday wnsn't. Boston
From the Philadelphia Record.
You can't sny of cats that they never
A cursory glance is sometimes more
effective than cuss words.
When a girl Is knowu as a wall
flower she Is naturally up against It.
Some people never put off till tomor
row v. hat they can do next week.
It Isn't altogether economy that
prompts a man not to wawte any
If you would drown your sorrow it
is just as well to tie a tone around Its
Few men are writing autobiograph
ies, but lots of them lerra to think
they ought to be.
it ia small consolation to the gin
who remains single to realize that she
was born that way.
The man who said there was noth
ing new under the sun evidently never
started to look for antique iiirriuure.
Xeil "Miss Antique Is awfully
slow." Belle "yes. it nas laseii m-r
about 40 years to reacn me ae ui
Tommy "Pop, what la a bigamist?"
Tommy's Pop "A bigamist, my son. Is
a man who has more wives than
Hoax "P.jones isn't very popular
with the girls. Is he?" Joa x " lirle ?
Why. even a porous plaster woulrtn t
get stuck on BJones."
From the Chicago News.)
A fool and his money attract a mul
titude of affinities.
When a man howls for justice he
wants to be the judge of It.
Query: When a woman says there's
no use talking, why does she?
If a man's hope of a future life
misses fire he has no kick coming.
A woman makes up her mind before
attempting to make up her complex
ion. And the only good that brain food
does some peoplo is to appease their
A man Is as young as he feels and
a woman, too, but she doesn't always
A pretty girl always thinks the men
are trying to flirt with her and she
Woman Is an Institution to which a
man pays homage during courtship
and indemnity fter marriage.
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