The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 21, 1912, LAST EDITION, Page 15, Image 15

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
15
LOCAL NEWS EVENTS OF THE PAST WEEK AS DEPICTED BY PARSONS
TLESDAY
XHCBSDAS
FRIDAX
&ATCBDAZ
tfOESPfcfcArE. criminal.
PEEVMJO ANOT-fNflvliNuLY
VlSTK.?
THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOTJENAE DECEMBER, 21, 1912
i "Biplane"
5 hibition of
Billard gives a fine ex
aerial navigation.
THE PARCELS POST
Congressman Believes It Will
Increase et Receipts.
TYill Become Backbone of Kural
Delivery Service.
THE RULES AND REGULATIONS
Instructions In Preparing Mat
ter for Mailing.
Articles That Can and Cannot
Be Mailed.
Washington. D. C. Dec. 21. "The
rural free delivery service is destined
to become the backbone of the United
Stales postal service with the advent
of the rafel post. It cannot be oth
wise, in my opinion, when one calmly
reviews the functions of the parcel
post."
This was the declaration of Con
gressman David J. Lewis of Maryland
when ased by a State Journal repre
sentative to discuss the American par
cel post. Mr. Lewis is regarded as
the best informed man on the parcel
post in congress today. The present
parcel post law is chiefly his handi
wcrk. "The cost of the rural mail service
at the present time." he added, "is
in the neighborhood of $45,000,000 an
nually. The receipts from that branch
of the service are something like J7.
000.000. I predict the day is not far
distant when this JT.000,000 will jump
to the neighborhood of J45.000.000,
and again from this point it will grad
uallv advance until rural letter car
riers will be the first branch of the
postal service to win the distinction
of earning more money than the gov
ernment expends upon them.
Benefits the Farmer.
"The question of how It is going to
be done Is comparatively simple. It
Is purely an economic one. The farm
er of the country has certain things to
sell In the town and city, the producer
of the town and city has certain things
to sell to the farmer. When the one
appreciates that the needs of the oth
er can be filled without the unneces
sary hardships of the middleman, the
broker and excessive express charges,
but direct through the medium of the
parcel post, with its collect on delivery
feature, the increase of the parcel post
business must necessarily reach tre
mendous proportions.
"The producer and consumer are
brought face to face with an economic
mutuality which they cannot fail to
k nrivantare of. Their business must
demand an extensive use of the pared j
post system. This mutuality must also
of necessity, reduce to a considerable
extent, the high cost of living. It ob
literates the charges of the middle
man, the wholesaler, expensive deliv
ery costs and almost an innumerable
list of other small charges that tend
to increase the present high retail
costs.
"The parcel post system will be as
far reaching as it is possible to make
it. We have now 250.000 miles of
railway mail service and perhaps 1,
C00.000 miles of rural service. With
the growth of the system, as it in
creases. Its effectiveness will no doubt
give the United States the greatest
parcel post service in the world. lis
possibilities, in my opinion, are un
limited. Defects In Foreign Systems.
"The greatest defect In foreign par
cel post svstems, with the exception of
Belalum. lies in the fact that its prob
lems are administrative rather than i
legislative. The legislator nas pre
scribed rates, weight limits, zones and
classification in such a fashion that
the administrative officials are given
no opportunity to solve the problems
as they develop unless the legislator
gives his permission through some
special legislative enactment.
"Obviously the administrative offi
cials should be given the privilege of
re-rating, reclassification and kindred
privileges to successfully encounter dif
ficulties as tliey arise if their service
Is to reach Its highest degree of effi
ciency. This difficulty has been amply
cared for in the American parcel post.
"The failure to provide administra
tively for problems as they arise in the
service has had the effect in Great
Britain of making a 2-cent a pound,
when a cent a pound is ample after a
charge of four cents for the first pound.
It has also had the effect of denying
the C. O. D. feature, which, to my mind,
belongs "to the very vitals of a parcel
cost service. In Germany the effect Is to
restrict thj average shipment to about .
five pounds, because the rates on ship- !
ments above eleven pounds to one hun-
dred and ten pounds, the statutory ,
limit, are o high as to prevent traffic :
movement in their parcel post above!
that weight. i
"If Germany could change its zones
and rates to correspond with the cost '
of service, its parcel post would prove
to be a vastly reat. public accom
modation than it Is today.
Rates Are Prohibitive.
"The Australian colonies have no
parcel post except in name. Their rates
3 dP fe"
"
Desperate offender against execu-
tive and Judicial dignity is punished,
of twelve cents for the first pound and
six cents for each additional pound,
with a small weight limit, utterly pre
vent traffic movement. The Austrian
system is like the German, and sub
ject to the same criticism. The Italian
rates, like the Australian, are nearly
impossible. The Chilian rates are not
quite so bad. white the Cuban rate is
ten cents a pound.
"Rates can be made so high, as well
as so low, as to be unprofitable. The
Italian vender who sells oranges at
twenty-five cents each will make just
as much money and be just as success
ful from a business standpoint as the
one who sells them for a cent, perhaps.
A legislative body, for some reason or
other, will go to extremes, especially
with respect to rates. It is perhaps a
lack of a comprehensive study of the
particular subject legislated upon.
"In the American parcel post law all
the administrative powers to change
rates, classifications, zones, weight lim
its and other pertinent matters are giv
en the postal authorities. They are
vested with the power absolutely to
construct a perfect parcel post system.
We may expect them to lower rates.
improve the zones and classifications
as they proceed to solve the particular
problems of the American service.
Has a Bright Future,
"la my opinion the American parcel
post es i -to effect with the bright
est possible future. I shall be greatly
disappointed if it does not prove the
banner branch of the American postal
service.'
Mr. Lewis, who was the author of
many of the vital provisions in the
parcel post law, is delighted with the
regulations for the service just issued.
He said they have worked out in a
sane, business like and public spirited
way. Postal experts, including Mr.
Lewis, estimate that within the next
year the parcel post system under
these regulations, will add J25.000,
000 in revenue to the postal receipts,
wipe out the deficit and pave the way '
for penny postage. j
It is estimated that the government's'
"baby express" will take approximately!
15 per cent, of the express monopoly's
revenue and about 2 per cent, of its ,
traffic. The one great advantage.
which has been worked out, is that the .
government will handle packages, lim
ited to 11 pounds, with only one ac
counting, that of postage; whereas the
express monopoly handles its traffic
with eleven accountings.
The parcel post regulations follow:
Parcels Post Regulations.
The regulations that cover in detail
the workings of the new parcel post
system have been approved by Post
master General Hitchcock, and the
pamphlets containing them are turned
off at the government printing office
on a rush order for the distribution
that begins today. This new branch
of the postal service will afford the
American people the opportunity to
send farm and factory products by
mail from and to any point in the
United States or its possessions.
The minimum zone rate will be 5
cents for the first pound and 3 cents
for each additional pound to any point
not exceeding 50 miles from the of
fice of mailing; the local rate, which
is 5 cents for the first Dound and 1
cent for each additional pound? applies I
to all parcels the delivery of which j
does not involve their transportation
on railway lines. The rates increase for;
each successive one of the eight zones,
the maximum rate being 12 cents a
pound whch will carry a parcel across
the continent or to any of our posses
sions. Parcels will be limited to 11
pounds in weight and six feet in length
and girth combined.
Mailable Perishable Articles.
Butter, lard, and perishable articles
such as fish, fresh meats. dressed
fowls, vegetables', fruits, berries and
articles of a similar nature that decay '
quickly when so packed or wrapped
as to prevent damage to other mail,
matter, will be accepted for local de-j
livery either at the office of mailing orj
on any rural route starting therefrom.!
When inclosed in an inner cover and ;
a strong outer cover of wood, metal, !
heavy corrugated pasteboard or other
suitable material and wrapped so that i
nothing can escape from the package, I
they will be accepted for mailing to
anv offices within the first zone or,
within a radius of 50 miles. Butter,
lard or any greasy or oily substance
intended for delivery at offices beyond ;
the first zone must be suitably packed.
Vegetables and fruits that do not de-.
cay quickly will be accepted for mail
ing to any zone if packed so as to
prevent damage to the mail matter.
Eggs will be accepted for local deliv
ery when securely packed in a basket
or other container. Eggs will be ac-,
Lepteo iui 1 n i r ' - -
tance when each egg is wrapped sep
arately and packed in a container.
There is no restriction on salted,
dried, smoked, or cured meats and oth
er meat products but fresh meat In
any form will be transported only with
in the first zone.
Parcels containing perishable articles
must be marked "perishable" and ar
ticles likely to spoil within the time
reasonably required for transportation
and delivery will not be accepted for
mailing.
Manufactured Articles.
Manufacturers or dealers intending
to transmit articles in considerable
quantities are asked to submit to the
postmaster for approval a specimen
parcel showing the manner of packing.
When sharp pointed instruments are
offered for mailing, the points must be
capped or encased. Blades must be
bound so that they will remain firmly
Progressives meet in Topeks
stage a political war dance.
and
attached to each other or within their
handles or sockets.
Ink powders, pepper, snuff, or other
similar powders not explosive, or any
similar pulverized dry substance, not
poisonous, may be sent when inclosed
in cases made of metal, wood or other
material to render impossible the es
cape of any of the contents. Flour of
all kinds must be put up in such
manner as to prevent the package
breaking or cracking or the flour being
scattered in the mails.
Queen Bees and Nursery Stock.
Queen bees, live insects .and dried
reptiles may be mailed in accordance
with the regulations that now apply
to other classes of mail. '
Seeds of fruit, nursery stock, and all
other plant products for propagation
may be mailed under the same condi
tions. Confectionery and Soap.
Candies, confectionery, yeast cakes,
soap in hard cakes, etc., must be in
closed in boxes and so wrapped as
to prevent injury to other mail matter.
Sealed original packages of proprie
tary articles, such as soaps, tobacco,
pills, tablets, etc., put up in fixed
quantities by the manufacturer, and not
in themselves unma liable, will be ac
cepted for mailing when properly wrap
ped. Millinery.
Fragile articles, such as millinery,
toys, musical instruments, etc., and ar
ticles consisting wholly or in part of
glass, or contained in glass, must be
securely packed and the parcel stamp
ed or labelled "fragile."
Unmailable Matter.
The following matter is declared un
mailable bv law: j
Matter manifestly obscene, laud, or !
lascivious; articles intended for pre
venting conception; articles intended j
for indecent or immoral purposes; all
matter otherwise mailable by law, the
outside cover or wrapper of which
bears any delineations or language of
a libelous, scurrilous, defamatory, or
threatening character. All such mat
ter, when depositee, in a postoffice or
found in the mails, shall be withdrawn
and sent to the division of dead let
ters. Intoxicants, Poisons and Inflammable
Materials.
Spirituous, vinous, malted, fermented,
or other intoxicating liquors of any
kind; poisons of every kind, and artic
les and compositions containing poison,
poisonous animals, insects and reptiles;
explosives of every kind; inflammable
materials, (which are held to include
matches, kerosene oil, gasoline, naph
tha, benzine, turpentine, denatured al
cohol, etc.); infernal machines, and
mechanical chemical or other devices
or compositions which may ignite or '
explode; disease germs or scabs and j
other natural or artificial articles, com
positions, or materials of wnatever !
kind which may kill, or In anywise i
Injure another or damage the mail or j
other property.
Pistols, Animals and Birds.
Pistols or revolvers, whether in de
tached parts or otherwise; live or dead
(but not stuffed) animals, birds or
poultry; raw bides or pelts, guano, or
any article having a bad odor will not
be admitted to the mails.
Treatment of ITndeliverable Parcels.
Perishable matter will be delivered
as promptly as possible, but if such
matter can not be delivered and be
comes offensive and injurious to
health, postmasters may destory it, or
the injurious or offensive portion
thereof.
Undeliverable perishable matter
which in its nature does not become
offensive or injurious to health may
be delivered by postmasters to the
proper local municipal authority to
be distributed to hospitals, asylums or
other charitable or reformatory insti
tutions. If there is no such municipal
authority, the matter may be deliver
ed to any charitable institution or or
ganization making application there
for. If no application is made, the
matter will be destroyed at the ex
piration of two weeks.
Parcels Improperly Packed.
Postmasters will refuse to receive
for mailing parcels not properly in
dorsed or packed for safe shipment.
When parcels on which the postage
is wholly unpaid or insufficiently pre
paid is deposited for local delivery and
the sender is unknown, notice of de
tention need not be sent but such mat
ter will be delivered and the deficient
postage collected from the addressee
by the carrier. If the addressee re
fuses to pay the postage the matter
will be sent to the division of dead
letters.
Insurance on Parcels.
A mailable parcel on which the
postage is fully prepaid may be in
sured against loss in an amount
equivalent to its actual value, but not
to exceed S50, on payment of a fee
of ten cents in parcel post stamps,
such stamps to be affixed.
- When a parcel is insured, the sender
will be given a receipt showing the
office and date of mailing and number
of the parcel.
ti-vion a return receint is desired bv
the sender of an insured parcel the
postmaster at the mailing omce win
note the request on the margin of the
insurance tag, and the postmaster at
the office of address will obtain from
the addressee a receipt and mail it to
the sender.
The liability for indemnity shall
cease when delivery has been effected.
Forwarding of Parcels.
Parcels may be remailed or for
warded on the payment of additional
,'ZJ "T, -s.
' fj1
1 1 1 1!
In court alleged blackmailers ad
mit that the joke is on them.
postage at the rate which would be'
chargeable if they were originally
mailed at the forwarding office, in
which case the necessary stamps will
be affixed by the forwarding postmas
ter. Payment must be made every
time the parcel is forwarded.
Preparation for Mailing.
Parcels must be prepared for mail
ing in such manner that the contents
can be easily examined. A parcel will
not be accepted for mailing unless it
bears the name and address of the
sender preceded by the word "From."
In addition to the name and ad
dress of the sender, which is required,
it will be permissible to write or print
on the covering of a parcel, or on a
tag or label attached to it, the occupa
tion of the sender, and to indicate in
a small space by means of marks,
letters, numbers, names or other brief
description, the character of the par
cel, but ample space must be left on
the address side for the full address
in legible characters and for the
necessary postage stamps. Inscrip
tions such as "Merry Christmas,"
"Please do not open until Christmas,"
"Happy New Year," "With best
wishes." and the like, may be placed
on the covering of the parcel in such
manner as not to interfere with the
address.
Distinctive Stamps.
The law requires that the postage
on all matter must be prepaid by dis
tinctive parcel post stamps affixed.
Postmasters cannot receive for mailing
parcels that do not bear such stamps.
Parcel post stamps are not vaild for
the payment of postage on matter of
the first, second and third classes, and,
t hen used for that purpose, the mat
ter to which they are affixed shall be
treated as "Held for postage."
Maps and Guides.
Parcel post maps, with accompany
ing guides, are to be sold to the pub
lic at their cost. 75 cents, through the
chief clerk of the postoffice depart
ment. In ordering maps care should
be taken to specify the postoffice from
which the postage rates are to be
determined.
BOWSER, HE TRAMPS.
And He Learns Much of Human
Nature.
Mrs. Bowser was looking out of the
window the other e-ening as she wait
ed for Mr. Bowser's coming, and as
he reached the gate she saw that he
was accosted by a tramp. The con
versation ended with the passing of a
coin.
"So you gave that tramp money,"
she asked as he entered the house.
"I made a small gift to a man who
has been unfortunate," he replied.
"But you are always warning me
against encouraging this trams evil,"
she protested.
"Yes; I have told you that the pro
fessional tramp should not be encour
aged, but this is an altogether different
case. It was not laziness or vice, but
pure misfortune, that forced the man
to ask for assistance. I could only
spare a dollar, but I wish "
"You gave him a dollar!" gasped
Mrs. Bowser.
"I did, and there is no occasion for
you to lose your breath over it. That's
one -of your troubles, one of the trou
bles with most women. You don't
seem to be able to tell the difference
between a tramp who has been on the
road for 20 years, and a good man
who has been brought low by misfor
tune within six months. After dinner
I will discuss the matter further with
you."
Mrs. Bowser hoped he wouldn't, as
it was sure to end in a row, and she
brought up such a variety of subjects
at the dinner table that she thought
she had driven the question out of his
' A.
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1 1' Y'tS
tin'
KWF WI1MVMK
1 vmm
tlllf
Horticultural experts discuss sick
trees and the remedies.
head. In this she was mistaken, how
ever. No sooner had they passed up
stairs than he began:
"It is the easiest thing in the world,
Mrs. Bowser, for one who understands
phi gnomy or has studied the inflec
tions of the human voice to detect the
fale from the true."
you Oi.O PRAUOJ
"I never knew that you had studied
physiognomy," she somewhat tartly
replied.
"Perhaps not- There are a great
many things you don't know. You
are probably not awara thai- t ot,
by a man's inflections when he is lying
to me!"
"Then how do so many deceive
you ?"
"Who has deceived me ?" he shouted
as his self complacent smile suddenly
vanished. "That's your way exactly,
w hen you find you can't hold up an
argument you begin to pitch into me
personally. I have never been de
ceived never, and you know it. This
man tonight, for instance, was telling
me the solemn truth, and 1 11 bet a
iu iu cents on it.
"What did he say?" asked Mrs.
Bowser as the cat came up from the
dining room and looked from one to
the other with a mild grin on her
face.
"Never mind what he said. I am
glad I did not turn him away. You
would probably have ordered him off
in a hurry and thus added cruelty to
misfortunes. You would have done it
because you can't tell the true ring
from the false. Why don't you pay
some attention to physiognomy?"
"I do. I had been noticing the
man. and my idea was that he was a
loafer and a liar."'
"Then you are an idiot!"
"He had just asked the cook for a
bite to eat and the inflection of his
voice betrayed him as a deceiver."
"By thunder, woman, you would ag
gravate a saint!" growled Mr. Bowser
as he scared the cat under the lounge
and then began pacing to and fro.
"It's a mighty good thing for the un
fortunate that all people are not like
you-. You are as stony-hearted as
old Shylock himself. I presume you
would turn me from your door if I
came for bread."
"I shouldn't like your looks." frankly
admitted Mrs. Bowser.
"Thank vou!"
"Nor your inflections of voice. Truly,
I should say that you were a liar!"
"You would! You would! Woman,
n 1 e
The last day for tax paying brings
on a rush.
do you mean to insult me?"
"And I think most other folks would
say the same."
"Oh, you do, eh? Well, now, let m
tell you something. First, I'll never
forgive you for this deadly insult; sec
ond, I'll prove to you within 2D minutes
that you don't know as much about
human nature as that cat does about
playing the piano. Woman, I'm going
to bring you off that pedestal with a
thump!"
"Didn't you ask me to tell you hon
estly what I thought?" she queried.
"Never you mind that. I'll prove
that you are the only human being
in this town without a heart. I'm go
ing to put on a suit of old clothes
and walk around the block and ask
three or four people for charity. You'll
see whether my face and voice give me
away as a liar and deceiver."
"I wouldn't do such a foolish thing,"
she protested. "Perhaps I spoke a lit-
"Yes, you spoke a little!" he Inter
rupted. "You spoke enough to say
that everybody would take me for a
liar, and we are going to see about
it. Don't trouble yourself to get up.
Just sit right where you are and be
lieve that everybody else In the whole
world but you is a fraud. I have said
that the hearts of thousands are open
to a tale of real misfortune, and now
for proofs!"
Mrs. Bowser wouldn't believe he
would put the matter to a test, but
10 minutes later he came downstairs
in an old outfit and passed outdoors.
The rear view she caught- of him was
trampish enough for any tramp. He
was pacing slowly around the block
to get his nerve up when he met a
benevolent-looking old man with a cane
who was on his way to prayer meet
ing and stopped him to pour out his
tale of woe. He hadn't uttered a dozen
words when the cane was raised aloft
and the old benevolent shouted:
"You go on. you rascal, or I'll call
the police! I believe you are th man
wno stoie our wneeioarrow yesterday.
Mr. Bowser went on. His theory about
physiognomy and inflections had receive J
a shock, but he was not discouraged. He
stopped half way around the block a:iU
rang the basement bell of a house. The
cook answered it after a minute, and ne
took pains that she should see his face
full in the light and that his inflections
were all right as he said he hadn't ,J
anything to eat for two days. a
"Vou old fraud! I'll holler for master
if you don't skip lively!" exclaimed the
cook as he hoped for cold victuals.
"But, my dear woman, can't you see
that I am no tramp?" Ne sweetly queried.
"Can't you tell the difference "
"No, nor I don't want to!" she shouted.
"If you come nere and yank this bell
again, you'll want wings to get away."
That was shock number two, but Mr.
Bowser went six doors up the street and
called another cook to the door and said.
"I am an unfortunate man and not a
tramp, and may I kindly ask "
"You can kindly take yourself off!" she
interrupted.
"But I am hungry and have no place
to lodge."
"Then go to some charity. I don't like
your looks nor your voice. Be off with
ycu!"
Mr. Bowser had found three cold and
cruel hearts hearts like Mrs. Bowser's,
but he determined to try again. He ran?
a front door bell this time and it was
tne owner of the house who appeared uj
answer and exclaimed:
"What! you cheeky old fraud are you
back again?"
"I am an unfortunate man." replied Mr.
Bowser.
"I'll bet you are. but Til get you a jo
in Jail if you don't dust out of this! An ay
with you!"
"But, my dear sir, can't you tell the
dif"
He couldn't. He took Mr. Bowser by
tne collar and ran him down the steps and
out of the gate, snd called him a fraud, a
liar and a jailbird. Five minutes later
Mrs. Bowser heard the front door softly
open, and she looked up to see Mr.
Bowser squeeze himself Into the hall and
sneak softly upstaiis. She waited a whole
hour for him to come down, but he did
not appear. Then she turned out the
lights and went up to find him in bed arid
rast asleep. (Copyright, 1912. by the Asso
ciated Literary Press.
"Well, what's your tale of woe?"
"Madam. I'm a war correspondent." "Go
on." "Been waiting eleven years for a
war and now they won't allow us at the
front." "All right. That wins you a cold
codfish sandwich." Louisville Courier
Journal. She My tittle brother will net bother us
tonight. He That's good. When does
the funeral take place? Chicago Daily
News.
Beware of Imitations and Cheap Substitutes
Baker's Breakfast Cocoa
IS THE
Walter Baker & Co. Ltd. Dorchester, Mass.
The last Saturday before Christmas;
and still "shopping early."
NO TREEFOR THEM
City Firemen Must Sleep ear
Shiny Brass Pole.
Christmas Is Not Recognized al
Fire Stations.
EAT IMAGINARY TURKEY
Dream of PI amp Stockings and
Lighted Candles.
'We Work 365 Days in Year,
Says Chief lYilmarth.
Of the children who have a right to
expect the good things of the world,
the fireman's kiddie is most to be pit
ied at holiday time. He can't have hi
daddy on Christmas day, or, what is
worse, on Christmas eve. And daddy
. me uesi ining about Christmas.
Mother? Why, mother Is Christmas,
so that s all there Is about that.
On Christmas eve it s the little boy's
daddy who hustles him back to bed
vhen he scurries downstairs in his fat
pajamas. It's daddy who finally
swoops you up in his arms and chants,
as entrancingly as if it were new:
" 'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse "
It's daddy who slips you into bed at
last, and lets Santa Claus in at mid
night. It's daddy who responds first
to your "Merry Christmas" in the
morning. It's his big, black jack
knife that cuts the twine off the ex
press box sent by grandma. It's he
who is most astonished when you find
the ring that you wanted in the toe
of your stocking. Later it s he who
carves the bursting tnrkev, and fur
tively gives you extra helpings of
cranberry sauce. It's daddy who, with
mother's warnings in his ear, lights
the candles on the tree in the evening,
and holds yon In his arms while you
watch them burn away, from the bis
leather chair In the corner.
But the fireman's kiddle has to do
all these things by himself. The fifty
Topeka firemen creep in their narrow
beds at city fire stations on Christmas
eve. and think what's happening at
home. On Christmas day In the morn
ing they dream of plump white stock
ings and overloaded trees. They eat
imaginary turkey, and hold themselves
In readiness to slide down a shining
pole in case the fire bell rings.
"There is no Christmas and there
are no holidays for the fire depart
ment." Chief Wlimarth explained.
"During the holiday season we have
no relief. In fact, we double our vigi
lance. The men have their day off
Just the same, and if his day comes
on Chrstmas why, he's a fortunate
man. The! regular force is alert every
second, ready to respond to every fire
promptly, holiday or no holiday."
The fireman has three hours out of
the twenty-four that he can call his
own one for breakfast, one for din
ner and one for lunch. If he can
reach home, slice his turkey, and slit
back in sixty minutes, his kiddles will
grin with delight.
"Wo work 365 days in the year."
said the chief, "while people are eat
ing their Christmas puddings the ser
vice stands ready to answer the claJB
of the bell."
"Never mind." said the ready-made
philosopher, "experience is the best teach
er." "Yes," replied the man who Is con
stantly In trouble, "but a person ought
not to be expected to stay in school all
his life." Washington Star.
laying down the volume of Wordsworth,
of whom she was an earnest disciple, the
precocious child turned to her mother
with a sigh. "If "heaven lies about us In
our infancy.' as the poet says." she
queries, "what will happen to us when
we grow up?" Life.
Belated. He who laughs last is an Eng
lishman. Princeton Tiger.
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