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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOUKlTAIr SATURDAY EVENING- JUNE 21, 1913- By FRAXK P. MAC HESS AH. fEtftred July 1, 175. as wm(J-lM natter at tha postofflce at Topeka, Kan. r-der th act of congress. VOLUME XXXV No. 13 Official State Paper. Official Paper City of Topeka. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION Dally edition, delivered by carrier, H cents a week to any part 01 oicn ubarba. or at the same price In any Kan- as town where the paper nas a earner Itntnn r mail on i ear.. ? f? St mall six month !. By mall WO day, trial order .... 4 1 TTTT.lTPKrWF.S. Private Branch exchange. Can KS and ask the State Jsejrnal operator ror Tepefca State Journal bulldmg, WO. B nil 8B4 Kn;u avenue, corner e.iii. New Tork Office: Firtn Chlcaao Office: Mailers building. Paul Boston Office: Tremont Building. Paul Soek, manager. tTTJi T tTCTT WIRE RrTPORT OP THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. The State Journal is a member ef toe Associated Press and receives the ran aay telegraph renort of that grest news r ranlaatton f'r the exclusive afteraooa publication In Topeka, The news la received tn The State Jour nal building over wires for this sole pur pose. HOME SEWJ WHILE AWAY. Rnrwrlber of the State Jonrnal way from home during the summer may hare the paper mailed regularly enclj day to any address at the rate of ten cents a week or thirty cents a month (by mail only). Address ha need as often as desired. While out of town the State Journal will be to von like a daily letter from home. Advance payment Is requested on these short time subscriptions, to save bookkeeping expenses. "Keeping the resources liquid is the modern policy." Especially during the fishing: season. "Lr.ve conquers all things," Virgil. But he forgot the tight with a corn Inside it. A returned traveler says that said shoe New tonics Tork is a tonic. But some leave a bad after-effect. Don't forget that June, besides be ing the month of bride roses, is also the month of bachelor buttons. The insanity plea in New Tork again. A justice of its supreme court, accused of graft, declares that his ac cuser is crazy. "Alfred Noyes, the English poet, la suffering from nervous breakdown." Perhaps he fears that laureate thing mill get him. Reports coming in from over the state indicate that pussy has nothing on the Kansas wheat crop in the num ber of lives. Summer Resorts Are Calling, says a big black headline. Oh. don't rub It In. We can all hear if we are un able to heed. The Chicago Post has joined the simplified spellers, to the extent of the 12 words endorsed by the National Educational association. If England wants a poet laureate who can do justice to the militant suffragists, why doesn't it turn Rud yard Kipling loose on the job? If the senate succeeds In Us Investi gation of the lobby, it will be able to get out a "Who's Who" for Wash ington which will be of some real use. A Chicago minister declares that no man can be religious If he gets but a dollar a day. Perhaps not. Neither can he be particularly sporty on that Income. Emerson says: "Write It In your heart that every day Is the best day In the year." That's too much for most of us. The home team doesn't win every day. In readjusting the affairs of the Frisco it might be well to give some attention to the name. The road never has got within a thousand miles of San Francisco. A woman writer says that woman is the soul of man, which explains satisfactorily, says the Washington Post, why there are so many men who cannot call thir souls their own. On Memorial day there were only 167,000 suvivors of the civil and fewer than 1,000 of the Mexican war. says an exchange. This means an average pen sion payment of about $1,000 a year for each one. The Wichita commission are asked to pass an ordinance prohibiting un necessary noise within a block of the hospitals. The idea is a good one, but why the limit? If people can be pre vented from making unnecessary noise near hospitals, why not extend the scope of the regulations to the whole city? Instead of the old straw hat with ear holes, a Kansas farmer has provided his buggy horse with a ca;.opy which protects the flanks, as well as the head of the animal. The canopy, which is made of imitation leather, and is pro dded with a fringe to discourage the flies, is attached to the shafts by four metal supports. A picture of this un usual equipage appears in the July Popular Mechanics Magazine. "Sugar at a glance" was circulated through the mails to the extent of 1. 525.000 copies under Senator Lodge's frank. The senator was within his rights, inasmuch as he delivered a speech in the senate embodying tha bulk of "sugar at a glance," and all senators' speeches may be circulated In the same way. Had that sugar pamph let paid regular .postage. It would have cost $28,000 to put through the malls. This $28,000 the publio must pay. Thus is the publio foced to foot the bill for something It did not ask for and does not want. Down with the frank ing privilege. DIE THE KAISER. Not one of all the orators who prais ed the German Emperor In celebrating his quarter century on the Imperial throne gave him more honor than he deserved for : 'a part in keeping the peace of Europe. The "War Lord" of many a dismal prophecy of carnage, he has so managed the affairs of the great country over which he reigns that Ger many has had no serious conflict any where In the world and no armed col lision with any civilized state. This fact alone Is enough to prove the Kaiser's wisdom .n the vital tests of statesmanship. Germany Is a coun try with a constitutional government and the powers of the emperor are lim ited, but it has often been found that with the sovereign rested the choice between peace and war. The executive head of the empire might easily have brought on more than one terrible con flict, and with excellent prospects of German victory. , For the kaiser has held In his hands the mightiest war engine in the world. The German army is conceded to he the most formidable now on the earth. In recent years the German navy has been very strong, though nothing like the army in- its relative position. When a man has In his possession the most powerful force ever organized the temptation to use it is often hard to resist, under circumstances which pro voke anger and resentment. The great power of Germany has made the peace record of the Emperor William II, the more remarkable and praiseworthy. Now he declares himself hopeful of twenty-five years more of peace and the world believes he means what he says. It no longer suspects the katser of seeking war. j THE RATE DECISIONS. Under the caption, "Two Great Conclusions," the New Tork World sums up the results of the recent su preme court decisions in rate cases as follows: The far reaching scope of the re cent Minnesota decision was shown esterday when the supreme court of the United States applied the prin ciples therein laid down to railroad rate cases appealed from various other states. As in that instance. Its de- ision now is not altogether one-sided, but on the main point of rate regula- ion it favors the states. In reaching this judgment several inferior federal udges are reversed, notably McPher- son of Iowa, by whose injunction the Missouri law of 1907 was held up. In the absence of further legisla- ion by congress, whose power over intrastate commerce .'when com-1 mingled with interstate commerce' is again declared, every railroad com pany feeling itself oppressed by local legislation is once more practically In vited to make its complaint on the score of confiscation to the federal courts. By this ruling the supreme court opens to itself a vast field of labor, but it guarantees to the owners of railroads rights which they are likely in the long run to consider fundamental. "Out of the furor for rate regula tion wh'ch developed several years ago in the west and south and which created great alarm in some circles, we have at length reached two Judi cial conclusions of prime importance. One is that no state may compel rail roads to do business on an unremu ncrative basis. The other is that the power of congress over interstate com merce Is so complete that it may be exerted at pleasure over commerce within the state when it Is held to be indistinguishable. "The immediate advantage Is there fore on the side of the states, but the ultimate triumph rests unmistakably with the basic rights of property and the sovereignty of the ration." AS OTHERS SEE VS. The eyes of the east if not of the world are ever on Kansas. The state has come to le recognized as a leader in thought, in legislation, in productive ness. Her crops change the prices in the world's markets. Her laws are taken as models by other states. When Kansas speaks the country listens. Her Importance is well set forth by the Washington Post In an editorial under the caption: "The cry from Kansas," as follows: Where are we to get the farm hands? wnere are we to get the money? Where are we to get the cars? The far mers, the banks, and the railroads of Kansas are throwing up their hands in token of distress now that the unlooked-for spell of ripening weather has precipitated an embarrassment of riches upon their heads. The chorus ing of this lay of the wheat belt "Ev erything to do and nothing to do it with" is a matter of annual occur rence,, but this year the familiar key note of harvest time has greater car rying power than last year or for sev eral years. The near east and the far east have been waiting for the word, with ear to the ground. The fullness of cadence excites no feUing of alarm, however. The louder the wail the greater its po tency for gladness. The world is wise to the true significance of the cry from Kansas. Experience tells that, somehow or other. Kansas will assem ble the willing hands, . t.ie necessary cash, and the Indispensable cars. The east is sending out funds in small packages, which will return, bringing with them train loads of commodities of a more dependable value than the certified evidences of wealth that are being liquidated at prices far below their face value. New wheat Is new capital, and be fore the snow flies the substantial con tribution made to the general stock by Kansas will have swollen to a flow ap proximating $6,000,000,000 with still oth er billions' worth held on the farm for home consumption or as reserves. Any surplus will be snapped up to supply the increasing foreign demand, which now exceeds the figures of any year in the last dozen, and which doubtless will mount higher before the old world consumers can i.av settled back into the traces. JAYHAWKER JOTS Geary county says she Is harvesting wheat that will average from 20 to 30 bushels to the acre. The high school baseball team at Cherryvale sold their clothes to pay the debts of the organization. Just as Bert Walker was becoming Independent, says the Atchison Globe, he deliberately threw liberty away. At Iola Sarah P. Fudge is asking for a divorce. She says her husband fudged when he claimed to be worth $18,000. The Leavenworth Post devotes half a column to telling what a valuable asset the town has In C. W. Parker, the "amusement king." Billy Morgan offers a solution for the troubles of the Orient railroad by advising it to come to that village "where the business is." Jack the Peeper has been captured at Barnard and once more the women of the town can leave the windows open and the shades drawn. Gomer Davies says he is keeping cool by reading Dr. Cook's story of the discovery of the North Pole. The same story probably makes Peary hot. George Hcys, a young farmer near Bartlesville, probably will die from the kick of a horse in the abdomen. Coffey viile Journal. This should teach young farmers not to swallow their horses. Crop production is going to be greatly increased in the near future, says Gomer Davies, as numerous con ventions are being held and wonder fully "drastic" resolutions are being adopted relating to the subject. When ever anything needs fixing, in Kansas, we call a mass meeting, pass resolu tions, and when the legislature meets, "make a law" and that settles it. GLOBE SIGHTS BT THE ATCHISON" GLOBE. Fishing is always good nine miles far ther on. It's something if your friends think you are right. A tramp can see the country, but he can't appreciate it. A man isn't so easily shocked, much as he may enjoy the sensation. If a man doesn't smoke too much. It is a sign he Is out of matches. If a person can't get along without a motto, a motto won't help muehi You have confidence In yourself, but other people may call it conceit. Tlie only way to give a picnic is to have somebody else do all the work. Unless there is a salary attached, a title doesn't seem particularly important to a man. Society gets its hardest knocks from the woman who is trying to break in, and can't. Men are so contrary that some of them prefer buttermilk because it tastes worse tnan beer. A bride can't hope to attract as much attention again without breaking into tne aivorce court. Encountered lately the o. f. man who lucnea nis napkin in his couar, as if pre paring to shave. Many overestimate the booze Joke which 1 umer tnan xne moiner-m-Iaw bran! ana less respectaDie. There are modest men who regard a slit skirt on the street as a better show than the tights in stageland. A man sometimes attains the distinction of being his sweetheart's ideal, but not after he marries her. "I have n0 particular desire to play polo, although I envy the income of those who can afford it." Rufe Hoskins. There are so many optimists in this world that you might find one who re gards a hunter's license as a good Invest ment. The gent who guzzles booze In an effort to forget his secret sorrow. Is merely add ing to the sum of unpleasant memories. POIXTED PARAGRAPHS. From the Chicago News. And self-love Is also blind. Never judge a railway by the cigars sold on its trains. What splendid facilities are offered for remaining poor! One way to live without work Is to prey without ceasing. It is easier for some men to sing a hymn than speak the truth. When put to the test, some virtues are found to be thinly veneered. Content may be better than great riches, but it is just as hard to get. If a man Is smart enough to fool a wo man it is because she wants to be fooled. A married woman's word picture of her Ideal man makes a poor portrait of her husband. Every girl who lives in a village says: "There isn't a young man in this town who is worth while." If you would enjoy peaceful domestic relations, tell your wife occasionally that she knows more than you do. Here's a bit of wisdom Solomon forgot to mention: You must be in business with a man or in love with a woman in order to know that you don't know them. QUAKER MEDITATIONS. From the Philadelphia Record. It sometimes happens that the nomine man is a goner before we know it. Mighty few men have sprained their wrists in their eagerness to turn over new leaves. The world has little use for dead ones. You don't find a live man boasting of his ancestors. No, Maude, dear; In spite of the fact that it is made to look into, every mirror isn't a pier glass. Blobbs "BJones claims to be a man of few words." Slobbs "Yes, and he is al ways talking about it." He "Refuse me and I shall never love another." She "Does that also hold good in case I accept you?" The cup that cheers simply demon strates that the fellow who always has an edge on never cuts much Ice. The very existence of some people would seem to disprove the theory that there s no effect without a cause. Hoax "I'll bet your wife bought that tie you are wearing." Joax "Yes, that's where I got it in the neck." Slilicus "When a woman is in love she acts like a fool." Cynicus "But when a man is in love, it Isn't altogether acting." Tommy "Pop, what Is the difference be tween a bachelor girl and an old maid?" Tommy's Pop "Only about ten years, my son." "Virtue is its own reward." quoted the Wise Guy. "For that reason I suppose it Isn't necessary to advertise It." added the Simple Mug. Baker "I hate to be an outsider at a family reunion. They're awfully trying." Barker "Yes, you never know whether the shabbily dressed old lady is a poor relation or a rich one." Life. Mother (at the shore) "Now, you must be very discreet with the young men you may meet here. Louise." Elderly daugh ter (with a sigh) '"I know, mamma; they scare dreadfully easy." puck- RY THE WAY BY HiRVBI PARSONS. The Lusltania. passenger shin, is ro ing to be equipped with a cluster of cannons, carl Bolmar, who has been across the Big Drink on one of them, says a passenger boat can hold you up for a plenty without using artillery. We hereby tender our regular an nual bunch of congratulations to King and Mrs. Alfonsy. (Note to compos ing room: Just set this paragraph out. We will need it again next season.) Every town man who has raised three geraniums and half a dozen assorted guinea pigs, feels that he would be a howling success as the manager of a big ranch. The name of the man who won the Transmississippi folf tournament, is Limberg. It is said he came in strong on the finish. The Atchison girl got $10,000 worth of heart balm out of her damage suit. That amount should repair a number of broken hearts and purchase a fine collection of diamonds as well. Resolved, That we shall attempt to stay out of the nuttery a while longer or at least until the board of control gets over the pernicious habit of pur chasing prunes to feed state wards. Add Alfonsy family affair: Six years ago it was an event; the event was followed by several incidents, and now it begins to look like a habit. But Alf and Mrs. Alf are said to be fairly well fixed, so they do not have to worry about the added ex pense of another pair of shoes. Georgle Perkins, who spent what change he had left after incorporating T R in the benevolent assimilation of the harvester industry, is shocked at the discourtesy offered him by gov ernment prosecutors. He cites the case of a Canadian who was knighted for putting over the same kind of deal. He misunderstands the motives of the government. Not having the power to knight him, the government wants to do something else to him, just to show appreciation. Report from Medicine Lodge that a wild man is frisking around through the flint hills in that neighborhood. They think he is wild just because he wears no clothes, but that may be on account of the weather. Like every other "movement," the "white slave" bunk has opened the field for a lucrative graft. Reports from southern Kansas indicate that a lecturer on the subject is making hia talk about it pay larger dividends on the investment than the "white slave" traffic ever ipaid. SAYS UNCLE GAV Be chary of your confidences. Tou may wish to exercise the wise man's prerogative of changing his mind. Many a well-meaning person has built a rtp utation for unreliability and inconsist ency by telling his half formed opin ions and unripe intentions to his enigh bor. If your opinion concerns another, better keep it to yourself for a vari ety of reasons. The best one is that the man you condemn today you are likel yto praise in the riper judgment of the morrow. When you get a good second look at him you may want him for a friend. It would be embarrass ing to have to explain that once upon a time you thought him unfit to as sociate with or not worth cultivating. Tour career depends almost altogether upon your relations with others, and you can't get far along the high road to success if you are dragging behind you a chain of unwise utterances. Gen erally speaking, your opinion of others is for your own guidance and, short of preventing a calamity, you are not bound to share that opinion with any body else. This truth comes home with double force when you remember that you are not correct in your views much more than half of the time and that you are likely to be doing an in justice to someone upon whom you may later want to call for co-operation. The man who boasts of what he In tends to do sooner or later attains the reputation of a weathercock. Few efficient men act upon decisions made offhand. No wise man ever confides to another the purpose conceived upon the spur of the moment. The plan that stands and works out Is the one that has been subjected to many mod ifications. Few reliable courses of ac tion ever sprang full blown from the brains of their creators. The scheme that seems perfectly feasible at first blush proves itself utterly Impractica ble upon close inspection. Tour neigh bor seldom thinks of these facts. Of, if he does, he assumes that you have carefully weighed your decisions be fore announcing them. When you tell him what you intend to do, he is jus tified In assuming that you have given him the fruits of ripe judgment. He is also perfectly justified in assuming that if you abandon this course of ac tion you are unreliable. Keep the lid on your confidences. Don't parade your mental processes in the sight of others. Keep your plana and your thoughts to yourself. Then you will be able to change your course of action at any time without having betrayed yourself to the criticism of your neighbors. The man who. doesn't know your original plan can never ac cuse you of wavering or inconsistency. If you keep your mouth shut about your intentions, he'll Judge you by re sults. He'll never know whether you shoot ahead or fall short of the mark. To use an Irish turn of expression, he who keeps his mouth shut seldom puts his foot into It. (Copyright, 1913. by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate.) Flood Work of the Army. Again there has been a demonstration of the value of the military establishment in directions other than a burden upon the people. It is not difficult to imagine the increase In the calamity of the western floods had It not been for the prompt availability of the reserve supplies of tentage. rations and medical and hospital material rushed to the scene of distress. The readiness with which an important personnel, trained in the prevention or disease, was equal to the emergency can not fail to impress those In need of relief and protection in the area stricken by flood and fire and confronted by pesti lence. Recalling other occasions when the gov ernment has been able to render substan tial aid in time of real and overwhelming disaster, this latest manifestation of the efficiency of the war department and the army should add to public approval and support nf the military establishment. Its uses to a country are not confined to war i or wnen war is tnreatenea. Army ana I Navy Register. PSALM OF LIVES. Lives of tomcats all remind us. After all is said and done. We would hate to pay insurance On nine lives instead of one. Florida Times-Union. Lives of centipedes remind us We would all ambition lose If we had to find the cash to Keep a centipede in shoes. Allentown Democrat. Uvea of elephants remind us IT would put us in a funk If from birth till death we had to Lug around a silly trunk. Springfield Union. Lives of all giraffes remind us It would surely get our goat If we caught and cold and had to Stand for two yards of sore throat. Cincinnati Enquirer. Lives of octopi remind us It were bliss, all bliss above Had we but a half a score of Arms to hug the girl we love. Boston Transcript. Uvea of William goats remind us We are lucky, after all; We should hate to get our living Eating paper from the wall. Chicago Record-Herald. THE EVENING STORY Rushing a Climax. . (By N. J. Cotton.) When three mature maiden ladles each receive a pointed note requesting their presence at the residence of a shy, discreet bachelor of David Mel rose's stamp, indications naturally lead to a matrimonial conclusion. On the Sunday afternoon mentioned in the notes, secure In his Isolated cottage, David, very thinly clad and totally unconscious of visitors, was busily engaged in his weekly ablutions when he was startled by a loud rap on the door. Peeping from behind a curtain David was appalled to find his visitor was Mandy Peters, a vinegar-faced spinster, he particularly abhorred. He was fur ther appalled by seeing the approach from different directions of two more spinsters of marrying proclivities. His doors being unfastened and all exits cut off, he acted on Impulse, which was a precipitate retreat to his bedroom. Miss Peters was joined by the other ladies and the subdued murmur of debate came to David's ears. Again the knock was repeated, and, as It elicited no response, a firm hand open ed the door and a determined step brought the visitors into the living room. A giggly pretense of modest surprise greeted their discovery of Dav id's bath preparations. Hum! announced Miss Peters, In acidulous accents. "Evidently I was not expected quite so soon." Evidently we were not either." echoed the others. Hum!" continued Miss Peters. "Did you ladies have an appointment here this afternoon?" We did," replied the others In chorus. "Doubtless he invited you to confer with me on some Important matter." was Miss Peters' lofty, cutting reply. xne Misses Root and Branch were properly subdued. A speaking silence held the mysti fied David in its grip. What did It all mean; He had not Invited these la dies; in fact, they were far from wel come. The next remark of Miss Pe ters made David gasp for breath and retreat to the closet. "Well, there is no use sitting here like three sticks. Mr. Melrose may be sick in his bed and need our aid Let us look about." With a firm hand, the indomitable Miss Peters opened David's bedroom door. In the excess of fright David emit ted a strangling sound like a chok ing cat. Miss Peters heard the sound and through a crack In the closet door her ferret-like eyes caught a slight movement. "There has been foul play here " impressively announced Miss Peters "Mr. Melrose Is confined In that closet, doubtless bound and gagged by some relentless robbers. I am going to release him." Miss Peters' remark was received with subdued, horrified screams by the other ladies. Firmly intent on her purpose. Miss Peters advanced and swung open the closet door. Human nature has its limit. David had heached his, and as Miss Peters opened the door he bolted through it. clad very briefly in , .1 ... . ' ' Pd.v.Up" !n Ma Mantle search for something . ..7 . "5 No wonder Misses 'r". nch for'frefdom ' " -SM mST 8--t wTsVr Melrose. ' she decisively stated to her frightened companions, "and doubtless he s temporarily unbalanced mentally, and it is necessary that he be followed and Urd.,he; t"'". you ladles go "''f' h? neighbors that an Imme diate search be made, and I will stay here in view of his possible return " David, from his hiding place in the nearby woods, saw the Misses Root and Branch depart. Whv did Mia. T-f., air!. J 8olutin being apparent, he settled down to wait In miserv, for black flies and mosquitoes were settling on his exposed limbs in clouds, making existence a nightmare. He fought insects and loosened up un assorted remarks for upward of an hour ji mini n was getting dark. Physical torture was fast overcoming his fear of women and natural modesty He was all ready to make a break for the open when he saw approaching from the field men, boys and women, armed and unarmed. That they were after him he Instinctively divined, but why was a poser. What he did was to follow the instinct of the hunted. Through bush and wood in open and out he fled, followed by the cries of the pursuers, who had caught sight of the white clad flenre with th sheet sailing out behind like the tail of a comet. His wind and leg muscles failed about tne same time, ana as a stone wall ap peared before him In his aimless flight, he clambered weakly over this obstruction and fell plump into the arms of a female who had risen from the ground on the other side. With a cry of dismay, David sank limp ly to the ground, pulling the protecting sheet closer about him. Of all women in the world the one before him was the last one he would have met in this condition. It was Mary Stone, the one woman he had always worshiped at a distance, and who, like him, lived alone only a mile from his place. Her first words Increased his dismay. "Why, David Melrose, what In the world is the matter? Why are you flee ing in such a condition?" David had enough sense left to realize that a full explanation was due, and he bravely plunged Into it. Mary suppressed a quiet smile at the recital, yet fully in sympathy with his sorry plight. When he had finished she said: "Come to the house-with me and I win rig you out in a suit that was father's; then you can go over and explain to the neighbors and evict that prying Mandy Peters." As the last was said with considerable asperity David's hopes took a sudden Douna. The courage that in years gone by had constantly deserted him flowed back. stimulated doubtless by the excitement of the afternoon and her sympathetic atti tude, and, clad as no other lover was ever ciaa, and under the most unusual circunv stances, David found his tongue and un burdened his heart. "Why, yes, David," was Mary's quiet reply, "I have always cared for you. Now run along or you will catch your death. David hustled, but he never knew that It was his young nephew that sent "the notes to the spinsters for fun, and uncon sciously hustled the climax of his delayed love affair. (Copyright, 1913, by the Mc Clure Newspaper Syndicate.) ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT ST SOT K. MOULTON. Chickening. Breathes there a man with soul so dead, uo never to himself hath said: "This is my own, my corner lot, I'm very sure of this one thing. I've got to raise some chicks this spring nd utilize my garden plot." Breathes there a man whose dream came true. As he expected It would do? Did he raise fancy chicks a lot? Did he wax richer in that way? Can amateurs make chicxens pay? Perhaps they can, but I think not. Signs of Che Times. Luther Burbank has invented a seedless prune, which will tend to shorten boarding house meals about 15 minutes. But one kind of grape juice does not make a hit at the White House. That kind is champagne. The Knickerbocker craze at Tale will not find an exponent in Prof. William Howard Taft. After the, vice president has dis cussed every subject from the aurora borealis to the day of Judgment it is likely that he will subside and enjoy the solitude of his mighty office. .eminent scientist save that dande lion greens are 'fine for liver trouble, but it doesn't seem as though he could be so very eminent or he wouldn't rec ommend anything so cheap. ur. vvney says a man does not reach his highest efficiency until he Is 60 years of age. Let's see. Isn't that about the doctor's age? Washington's smart set has decid ed to snub the Wilson administration. The Wilson administration seems to be pretty lucky. fashion experts nredlct tiirhtor cVlrta for women. Then there will certainly have to be thinner women, that's all. An eastern man beaueathed 2S noo to his wife's next husband. The next husband will probably not be at all backward In coming forward. Our Liars' Department. When moving day comes around it is quite customary to load on everything that Is not screwed down or buried. Now a man has solved the problem whereby even these things may be taken. He claims that cisterns may be moved with the rest of the household effects with perfect ease. Yeast cakes that are pow erful enough to raise anything from an umbrella to one of wife's first biscuits will be used to accomplish this feat. By digging a hole just outside the cement or brick and having It extended to a point underneath the cistern, then drop ping in a few of the famous cakes just await results. When the yeast begins to exert Its power something has got to give. While enjoying her usual afternoon stroll one day recently one of our aged grandmas had a thrilling experience with a rattler. As she was passing by the reptile he leaped from his lair and struck his cruel fangs in her skirt. Her first Impulse was to strike the reptile and cause him to release his hold on her garments, but fearing worse conditions might arise by so doing she felt that the last resource was to run to some place of safety. She started and her speed in creased with every step. As she turned a sharp corner she was going at such a terrific rate of speed that the head of the reptile was snapped asunder from its body. The snake is dead and grandma Is alive and well and daily relates this thrilling story to a happy group of in terested grandchildren. From the Hickeyville Clarion. Our old friend Doc Simmers Is suffer ing much pain these days. He sent to a mail order house for some false teeth and they sent him a set of woiaen's teeth by mistake, and Dos did not irnow the dif ference until he put them in his his mouth, and his jaws commenced to flop up and down and they have flopped so iasc ever since inat uoc can t eaten a hold to get them out, and he's pretty near done for. Anse Frieby placed an order for a new oatmobile down in the city the other day and the salesman said, "Your, new car will have a splendid finish." - Anse said: "I'm glad of it. The last one I had. had a fierce finish. It tried to butt a street car off the track." Mr. and Mrs. Frank Frisby are certain ly getting into the plutocrat class. They naa uver ior ainner tne other day. Lem Betts is gettin' sort of spleened agin them mail order houses. He ordered a dozen strictly fresh eggs by parcel post the other day and when they came, one of 'em had a note written on it in lead pen cil, the message beln' dated April 7. 1911. Miss Hepslbad Tuttle, our school teacher, has had several proposals of marriage since she has been in our midst, but she says on account of the modest income al lowed to school teachers nowadays -it is about all she can do to support herself A feller is here with a 130 bill In his possession. It Is quite a curiosity and he showed it to several in the Qolden Nug get.. Constable Ezra Hand Is keepin' an eye on the feller, as he has an idee there may be a reward out for him. Automobile Yarns. "I have got a great car," said the Thin Man. "I have driven it three years and it never developed the slightest rattle un til one day last week. I finally found that I had left a screw driver loose In the tool box and that caused the noise " "Huh! That's nothing," said the Fat Man. "My old car never rattled in its life until one day not long ago. I had never heard a sound out of it. I couldn't even tell when the engine was running and when it was not. There were times when I thought of tying a lartre tin rifsh. pan behind it to bump on the pavement so that people would know I was coming. The only rattle I ever noticed came, as I have said, a few days ago. I got out and looked all around, but couldn't find the rattle. I got back in the car and, through pure accident, reached Into my trousers' pocket, where I found sixty five cents in change. It was this change that had been rattling. I took it out. threw it Into the street and went on and the rattling stopped." "That's a durned lie," said the Thin Man. "How so?" asked the Fat man. "Because no man who ran hia own auto mobile ever naa sixty-live cents In his pants pocket at one time." A Soliloquy. To mote or not to mote that is the ques tion: Wiietuer it is nobler In the mind to suffer And walk, or hike or hire a horse and buggy. Or take up arms against a sea of troubles. Of carburetors, oil pumps and tires that puncture. Of gasoline thaf s boosted to the heavens. Or la It best to walk and never know them. Or travel in the hot and dusty tram car. Thus not invited and thereby escaping The heartache and the thousand natural shocks That cars are heir to. 'Tis a consumma tion. Perhaps, devoutly to be wished. KANSAS COMMENT MOTHERHOOD. She was a young girl; she was happy. Life filled her, she loved. II was too much for her; life overcame her, and one day she knew that the great mystery of motherhod was com ing upon her. She faced it faced the shame that society put upon her. The baby came a nameless baby, and society, which makes such a to-do about mother hood, shamed the nameless, helpless child, the nameless child she loved as only a mother loves. The birth was one of the saddest things in the world. If the girl had murdered the child, before it was born, and all the neighbors had known it, she would have been shamed less; if she had stolen money, she would have been held in high er esteem. Tet the time will come when motherhood as motherhood will be respected, when the mere fact of motherhood, unaccompanied by any religious or social service, will do somewhat to atone for the social in fringement that comes from relations assumed outside the law. Time will come when women will say of a moth er who has a nameless child God has forgiven her, for In pain and In anguish she has gone down to the waters or death. She has loved Mfe and brought It forth; so she Is one of us, let us take her hand and help her. Great miracles of iron and steam and electricity have changed the face of the earth in one hundred years. But chiefly these material miracles have opened human eyes, and are opening human hearts. In another hundred years miracles of love may change the world, and make it mors wonderful in Justice and mercy than iron and steam and electricity have made it. Then motherhood as motherhood will count for something, and we will say to the mother of the nameless child, "It is infinitely more punish ment than you deserved that your child, the tiny, blameless child, that you love so passionately bone ot your bone, flesh of your flesh should have no name. Come, be of good cheer, you have passed through the great atonement, you have born life into the world,, and love for life has burned in your breast. The bill is paid. Society Is satisfied. Let us help you and cherish you and guide and guard you and the child." Em poria Gazette. FROM OTHER PENS RUMORS FROM MEXICO. The various juntas are exceptionally busy 'now in the manufacture of Mexican news. Confirmation Is lacking of the re ported fall of Zacatecas and of various rebel victories elsewhere. As a matter of fact the rebels in the north are engaged in guerrilla warfare, living on the coun try, lacking military organization, gain ing few real victories, and unable to fol low up those they gain. They can tear up railroad tracks and burn bridges, and they have placed such an embargo on trade in the republic that some years of hard la bor will be required when peace Is re stored to put affairs on a sound footing. But there is no other Mexican in power today with the personal force and ex ecution of Gen. Huerta, and, as he now has money and credit, he should be able to place more troops In th field, north and south of the federal district, to sup press the various rebellions. The fact that he now has this advant age accounts for the Increase in the rumors of rebel activity. The only hope ior simico ai present lies in JHuerta. All American residents know this. All Ameri cans who have business Investments In Mexico are hoping that he will succeed; if he fails the state of unrest which has lasted now for nearly three years will be prolonged Indefinitely New Tork Times. EVENING CHAT ! BT HDTS CAMMROK. Jj On Letting Folks Alone. A friend of mine has recently had to take a long vacation because of a threatened nervous breakdown. This was the cause of her trouble: She is a woman of high strung, nerv ous temperament, she does very stren uous brain work, and is peculiarlly dependent for the strength to do it upon her sleep. All her life she has slept eight or nine hours a night. Now for the last two or three months she has cut her sleep allowance down to six or seven hours a night. The result was Inevitable. Why did she do such a thing, you may ask. Was there any financial or family pressure that necessitated it? None whatever. She was persuaded into It by a friend who Is devoted to the Edisonlan theory that we ail sleep too much. The friend Is of a phlegmatic- temperament, she Is not a business woman, and she gets alom? easily with six hours a night or less. Consequently she is always trying to persuaae ner rrienas that they are wasting time in sleep and that they might easily have two or three more hours a day to themselves if thev would onlv get into the habit of sleep irg less. She is a woman of a good deal of persuasive force and she final ly inveigled this woman into trvinar to cut down her sleep. The result I have already chronicled. Why is it, I wonder, that we all want to force our habits and tastes on ether people? We all know that what is one man's meat is another man's poison and yet we go about trying to persuade other people to like what we like, think as we think and live as we live. When I am sick I like to have all the light shut out of the room and then to be left severely alone. I don't, however, believe in fasting. Now I have a relative whose tastes in In validism are exactly opposite. She wants someone to stay in the room with her every minute and she wants plenty of light and sunshine, but noth ing to eat. Whenever she takes care of ma .h. forgets to pull down the shades, urges me to let her stay and tries to per suade me that I shall be better off if I do not eat. Conversely, when I take care of her I find myself pulling down the shades and leaving her alone, and I try to persuade her that she will feel better if she will only eat something. And so it goes. To freely permit others to differ from one's self is the hardest thing in the world it has taken centuries to teach us not to try to club others into thinking as we do. I suspect that it will take, centuries more and then some to teach us not to even urge others to think and act as we do. "Why do you term your wife an angel Coward 'Because she's always ready to fly. she s continually harping, and she hasn't an earthly thing to wear." LU.