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The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, July 29, 1913, LAST EDITION, Image 4

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CUtrprka tate Journal
Etered July 1. 1875, as Eecimd-claas
natter at the postofflce at Topeka, Ka.fi..
r.der the act of congress. J.
.No. 158
Official Stat Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
Dally edition, delivered by carrier, M
cents a week to any par of Topeka or
nburbs. or at the same price In any
as town where the paper baa a earner
By rrall. on i year... ,"2
Pv mall six month
B7 mall WO days, trtal order
Private branch exchange. Call
ask the State Jeernal operator for pef
atm or department desired.
Topeka State Journal bunding, son. i
nd 804 Kansas avenue, comer Elgrjtn.
New York Office: 260 Fifth avenue.
a-j! Block manager.
Chicago Office: Mailer building. Paul
Biock. manager. .,.
Boston Office: Tremont Building. Paul
Siock, manager.
" The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great "Z2
ran1zal?on for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this solo pur
Subscribers of the State Journal
away from home durinff the summer
mar hare the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at ti e rate
of ten cents a week or tlurty rents
h month (by mail only). Address
changed as often as desired.
out of town the State Jonmal will toe
to yon like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
t'jese short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses. '
Lost. Strayed or Stolen The Dove oC
Youth will be served, says the
philosopher. Yes, and sometimes
right rudely, in tennis.
London's militants may be de
pended on to give Mrs. Pankhurst an
even more enthusiastic funeral than
Miss Davidson's.
'Panama has just been paid $250.
000 by Uncle Sam on the theory that
It's cheaper to pay rent on the canal
than to move it.
Neither have the Parisians en
hanced their reputations to any ex
tent by the ovations they are giving
to Jack Johnson.
One great trouble -with the "sup
posedly" unloaded pistol is that it is
usually pointed at somebody else
than the supposer. "
Czar Nicholas may' yet,, occupy a
permanent place in history as the man
who ordered the destruction of Tolstoi's
unpublished works.
Lieutenant General Nelson A. Miles,
U. S. A., retired, is reported beleagured
in Sofia. But the photograph galleries
may be open there.
Why not abolish women's skirts
entirely? More pronounced slits in
them is the decree of the recent New
York fashion show.
That deadly monotony which is
said to constitute much of the hor
ror of prison life isn't partleularly
prevalent at Sing Sing.
What with the Roosevelt trial and
the copper strike, the upper peninsula
of Michigan has established itself as
a regular source of news.
Sending 125 of the most mutinous
convicts to another prison may be one
way of impressing those that are left
with the might of authority.
An Ohio man prefers to be broke
rather than' bankrupt. Some people
will doubtless consider him a man of
strange and extravagant whims.
Two men at Niagara Falls risked
their lives to save a dog and then
gave it to a woman. Which inspired
the valor, the lady or the spaniel?
A Chicago professor says baseball
fanatics use up 95 per cent of their
mental energy in the watching or
reading of games. Not in some towns.
Those who like to worry will get
more or less satisfaction out of the
announcement of the federal public
health service that pellagra is spread
ing. Napoleon's spirit is probably much
peeved that aeroplanes were not in
vented long SLgo. Another French
aviator has made a flight over the
And the suspicion that a Chicago
man was beaten to death in a patrol
wagon for refusing to give the po
licemen money presupposes that he
was a brave man.
Speaking of forehandedness, one of
the big steamship companies is adver
tising a tour around the world and via
the Panama canal. It is to start from
New York in July, 1915.
Dispatches from Washington state
that President Wilson is getting har
mony on the currency bill. In other
words he Is taking the trouble person
ally to tell the recalcitrant Democrats
where to head in.
"No doubt about it. Secretary of
the Interior Lane is right in his opin
ion that the prospects of rich pick
ing In Alaska are excellent. Two
groups of capitalists are eager to
build railroads there.
Joyous news for" the mixers among
the microbes. Comes now a German
professor who declares that kissing.
instead of being harmful, is highly
beneficial in more ways than one, and
is the very best thing for the nerves.
"During the past week or ten days
there has been an encouraging relaxa
tion of the tension in banking circles,
both at home and abroad," writes
Henry Clews, the New York banker,
in his current weekly financial review,
and he continues. "Both call and time
money are easier, and good borrowers
now find less difficulty in securing accom
modation than for two or three months
past; although bankers are still in a
very conservative mood and inclined to
impose a decided restraint upon any
undue optimism. At the west there has
also been some diminution of mone
tary pressure, and there is no longer
any fear of inability to meet necessary
demands for crops and trade during
the approaching autumn. All fear of
a monetary crisis the coming autumn
has now been safely passed. In Eur
ope the situation is also better, al
though there is still much need for
caution. So eminent an authority as
Sir Felix Schuster, of London, has esti
mated that the recent losses of the
Balkan war amount to $1,200,000,000.
This is a fabulous loss for so short and
relatively insignificant a struggle, and
is eloquent testimony of the tremend
ous cost of modern warfare. The same
high authority also predicts a rapid
recovery from recent depression and
very emphatically says the greatest
danger now confronting the money
market is too great a rush of new
securities. There has been a very se
vere and wholesome curtailment of new
capital applications, but many have
been only postponed and are still very
urgent. It is incumbent upon bankers
to firmly delay these requirements as
far as practicable, yielding only to
those demands which are most neces
sary and Imperative. This, of course,
means a further slowing down in some
lines of trade, also a temporary con
traction of new enterprises. This is
unwelcome, but is the only preventive
of disastrous consequences after a per
iod of prolonged over-activity.
"The home business situation is
gradually improving. At this period of
the year the crops are a most import
ant factor. In this respect the situa
tion is somewhat spotty, as during the
past week some sections of the in
terior have suffered from excessive
heat and drouth. Remembering that
the conditions on July 1 were some
what better than the government re
port indicated, the prospects at the
moment are for crops decidedly above
the average. The present outlook is
for a 720,000,000-bushel wheat crop, a
yield of 3.000,000,000 bushels of corn
and a heavy cotton crop. The next
week or ten days, however, will be a
critical period for corn and other grain
crops; hence it is premature to assume
too much confidence regarding the out
come. Our merchandise markets are
generally in sound condition. Prices
have frequently declined, firm money
having forced more or less liquidation.
This is the period of summer quiet, and
many mills are taking advantage of
such conditions to partially close for
overhauling and repairs. The steel in
dustry shows more activity than might
have been expected, considering the re
cent financial depression. The great
textile trades are of course somewhat
embarrassed by the prospect of tariff
changes. There is a steady and satis
factory inquiry for all classes of fab
rics, yet neither importers nor manu
facturers are able to make future plans
until t'.ie tariff is finally adjusted."
That even prison life is yielding to
modern humanitarian impulses is in
dicated in the number of prisons that
are maintaining schools for the bene
fit of prisoners. Out of 55 prisons in
the United States and Canada re
porting to the United States bureau
of education. 44 have schools. In 33
of these a civilian head teacher is in
charge. Altogether there are 27 even
ing schools, 19 day schools and 8 cor
respondence schools. Both academic
and trade subjects are taught.
In arguing for schools in prisons.
Dr. A. C. Hill of the New York state
education department, who has pre
pared a bulletin on the subject for
the United States bureau of educa
tion, points out that there are ihree
ways of handling a man whom the
courts have pronounced unfit to re
main in society: First, he may be
put to death at once; second, he may
be slowly killed in a destructive en
vironment; third, he may be pla?ed
in a favorable environment and re
stored to normal health, if possible."
Prison schools represent an at
tempt to apply the last of these meth
ods, according to Dr. Hill. "Schools
in prispn are the expression of the
highest conception yet formed of the
proper way to deal with men and
women segregated from' society for
violating its laws," he says. "They
are an outgrowth of the belief that
the door of hope must never be
closed to any human being. They
stand for opportunity. They -ire hu
manity's offer of help to overcome
the inertia and despair that settle
down upon a man disgraced and de
prived of his liberty."
Prison libraries form an important
factor, and special attention is given
to them in the bureau's bulletin. Dr.
Hill notes that there is usually plen
ty of books, but that the quality of
the reading is seldom satisfactory.
He cites the opinion of H. H. "lart
of the Russell Sage Foundation, that
"not one prison in ten has a. suitable
selection of bocks. Most of them ars
composed of one-third unreadable
books and one-third trash."
In his conclusion Dr. Hill urges
that better methods and greater effi
ciency in character building are need
ed all along the line, back to the
school and the home. He believes that
"public effort should be directed
more fully to providing the right kind
of education'- for the thousands of
neglected children whose environment
is such as to make the development
of bad and dangerous characters al
most Inevitable. The hopeful sign of
the times is an aroused public senti
ment that is demanding a full knowl
edge of the facts and a vigorous use
of the best means of checking moral
degeneracy at Its source,"
No matter how small a town is, it
generally boasts of a Child Musical
In the olden times girls existed
only to marry. Now too many of
them marry only to exist.
And the persons who sing in jail
are not the ones who deserve to be
put there for singing, or attempting
A woman's idea of carelessness on
her husband's part is for him to al
low the coffee to boil over after she
has expressly ordered otherwise.
After all, human nature is pretty
generous. Occasionally you find a
country community where they s-y:
"Yes, she's the banker's daughter, but
she ain't a bit stuck up."
People waste enough in years rf
plenty, insists the Anthony Bulletin, to
keep them in comfort during the yexrs
of scarcity.
According to the Norton County
News, the man who declares that the
world owes him a living never vorks
hard enough to do the collecting.
When you toss out one of your old
shoes, says Mrs. Kelley in the Tovonto
Republican, and somebody else eom3s
along and tries to put it on, you are
prettv sure he has some at home just
like it.
It's the opinion of the Dodge City
Globe that the greatest man in this
country is the man whose kids have
their noses flattened against the win
dow pane for a half hour before he
is due at home in the evening.
An amende honorable In the Palco
Enterprise: The report in last week's
paper that the Willie Blazier team of
mules had the glanders and had to be
killed was a mistake. The mules are
healthy and all right in every way. We
were simply misinformed.
Another grasshopper story, this 'iine
from the Glasco Sun: The grasshop
pers are said to be so fierce over south
and west of us they are eating the red
paint from the danger signals on the
Golden Belt automobile route. Tourists
claim that the grasshoppers are ac
tually so thick on the posts along the
roads .that they cannot read the mark
ers. . . , 1
Another one has started and prom
ises to become a worthy successor to
"How much wood would a wood chuck
chuck, if a wood chuck would chuck
wood?" Many heretical versons jf the
new teaser are going, but the real ver
sion is as follows and must be strictly
adhered to by the faithful. Bill had a
billboard and Bill had a ..board bill,
and Bill's board bill bored Bill till Hill
sold Bill's billboard to pay Bill's board
bill, and then Bill's board bill no long
er bored Bill.
There is a good deal a detective never
friends money gets you are not always
a bad sort.
There is' more counterfeit dignity than
counterfeit coin. .
If a poor man has rich kin, he marvels
at their good health.
You don't need to have much of an ap
petite in order to eat too much.
Some tobacco is ?o mild as to arouse
suspicion that it isn't tobacco.
Fashion note: There is no change in
summer elbows. They are as dirty as
ever. '
Beef is getting so expensive that cows
are becoming proud of their high fore
heads. Long search for a satisfactory boarding
house has also been known to serve as
first aid for Cupid.
After she has been married awhile, a
bride begins to refer to her lingerie as un
derwear, or more definite terms.
Farming won't be an ideal existence un
til some crop is discovered which requires
as little cultivation as weeds.
A loyal church worker l.s apt to regard
everyone who doesn't belong to her church
as a dweller in Outer Darkness.
Ab. Adkins says he is so unlucky he
never found a horseshoe, but once located
a mule shoe on the business end of a
The fishing season doesn't last long
enough to give some men an opportunity
to get in all the loafing they feel is es
sential for their health.
"Mv idea of a mechanical genius is fair
ly filled by anyone who can open tinned
meat with the little key sent along for
that probable purpose." Rufe Hoskins.
From the Chicago News.
- Money makes the man who makes the
The man on crutches has a lame excuse
for begging.
The street paved with good intentions Is
too slippery.
A willowy maid is a skinny girl with an
obese bank account.
What does the spinster do for somebody
to button her up the back?
Every man wants to climb twice as high
as he can ever hope to get.
The gay deceiver never deceives any one
so much as he does himself.
Getting engaged costs more than getting
disengaged, but it is more fun.
Experience isn't much of a teacher
when It comes to Investing in gold bricks.
The chap who insists on getting what
is coming to him never stops at that.
How many men do you know who let
their religion interfere with their busi
ness? Speaking of vanity, there Is nothing on
earth that can get so completely stuck on
itself as a sheet of postage stamps.
tB'rom the Philadelphia Record.
The nursery is one sort of a bawlsoom.
Some men are more polished than their
shoes indicate.
Is It possible for a man to be on his up
pers and still well-heeled?
Every man at some time of his life has
told some woman he was not. worthy of
The average man divides his time be
tween plana for the future and regrets
for the past.
The men who regard drinks and cigars
as necessities are apt to look on their
wives' bonnets as luxuries.
The baseball player is often put out of
the ftme for kicking, but it isn't that way
with the football players.
Sapphedde "Present me to Miss Peach
ley." Buggins "It's no use. I've heard
her say she wouldn't have you for a gift."
As we understand It, the federal
authorities are under the impression
that the New Mexico sugar mine was
But, as has been heretofore remark
ed by the attorneys, that case will be
tried in the courts, - and not in the
newspapers, so we will say no more
about it.
Scientists and those who run hotels
in that vicinity, are viewing with
alarm the fact that the leaning tower
of Pisa is leaning more than it used
to, but after looking up the passenger
fare to Pisa, we have decided that the
condition of the famous one-legged
smokestack is of supreme indifference
to this department.
After thinking it over for a week,
the authorities have decided that the
missing Iola business man had no
business pinching the boob bride, and
have issued a warrant for him. And
until his name is revealed, every Iola
business man will go around with a
bunch of alibis in his hip pocket.
Some people go to church every
Sunday morning. Others merely re
main in bed an hour later, and get
their extra sleep that way.
It is suspected that Henry Lane Wil
son said more than "tut-tut" when he
discovered that a secret report was to
be made on his actions. But then,
playing both ends against the middle
is more strenuous than playing golf.
Having discovered a fireproof fluid,
it is to be hoped that Harrison Park
man will soak his whiskers therein.
His work leads him frequently into the
vicinity of conflagrations, and it would
be a sad blow to lose that hirsute
pride of Kansas.
Swat the bumblebee! A Kansas lady
was stung three dozen times in the
backyp.rd, and being stung by a bum
blebee is no joke, whether in the back
yard or on the front porch.
Jack Johnsing announces that he Is
gone for good, and it Is a consensus of
opinion that he couldn't go for any
thing else.
Which makes it unanimous, so to
Those Mexicans should have a care!
If they shoot two or three hundred
more unarmed Americans, tho govern
ment might become peevish and speak
real har-r-r-rshly to them.
By this time Doc Callen may be sat
isfied that Frank Cumiskey's goat is
like the mountain goat of the Rockies
hard to capture. Scouts who have
returned from the Crawford county
hunt, report, that the anti-Cumiskeys
didn't get close enough to Frank's
ibex to find even its tracks.
Have a care how. you lightly assume
to know your own faults and look as
kindly as possible upon those disagree
able persons who insist upon pointing
them out. Your 'butspoken - enemy is
ofttimes a better jlriend to you than
; yourself. He shows you your weak
points and upon" occasion pricks them.
He does this merely for the pleasure
of seeing you jump, but if you're clear
headed enough you'll treasure his jabs
as warnings when your anger is past.
Your enemy does you a service that
you cannot well perform yourself. You
may think you know your faults, but
the sober truth is that you detect only
about one in a hundred if somebody
with a mean disposition doesn't punc
ture them now and again. There was
once a king of Tang who was urged
to behead a crusty old mandarin.
"Why?" he asked his favorite who
made the suggestion.
"Because he is constantly reciting
your majesty's fancied faults and in
flaming the common people, whereas
all who know your majesty are aware
that your majesty is faultless."
"You impart wisdom although you
do not speak it," said the king. "Kind
ly summon the prime minister."
"Bring this mandarin to court," he
directed the minister. "Command him
to be always at my call. Say to him
that upon peril of his life he is always
to speak what is in his mind and
naught else. As for the flatter" in
dicating his erstwhile favorite "be
head him."
"Is it thus your majesty rewards his
enemies and punishes his friends?" de
manded the unfortunate. "Why should
I die and this defamer of the king
"You die," said the king, "because
I dare not trust one who is more blind
to my faults than I myself. I would
have this enemy always at hand that
he may warn me of the faults I cannot
The old king may have been a trifle
harsh in his measures, but he had the
risrht idea. Distrust the friend who
flatters he is your worst enemy. Keep
your ears open for what your enemies
say of you. If they speak the truth
they are your friends.
The eyes of the mind, like the eyes
01 tne Doay, turn outward. It is only
occasionally that a fault sticks out like
a boil and is noticed by the man who
possesses it.
Beware of him who boasts that he
knows his faults. He is a fool. He
has learned neither the difficulty of
detecting one's own shortcomings nor
tne universal disposition of mankind
to regard their own vices as virtues.
(Copyright, 1913, by the McClure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
Out of the Mouths of Babes.
Millard had two goats, a large one,
Billy, and a young one he called Boy. His
fathered ordered a: goat wagon for him.
After examining ' the wagon Millard
thought it didn't suit as to size.
"Papa, I can't use it," he said decidedly.
"Billy wouldn't wait for it and Boy
couldn't keep up with it."
Helen, aged 7, was showing a visitor
how fast she could run. when she sudden
ly stopped and said. "But I can't show
my best running unless something Is hap
pening back of me."
Billy, aged 5, had often heard his par
ents talk of the time required to digest
certain articles or food. One night, wish
ing to defer his bedtime,- he asked, "Moth
er, may I sit up half an hour longer to
decide my supper?"
Patty is the owner of a puppy. The
little girl who sold him gives these di
rections: "Dust div him a wink and don't
wop him."
Baby May had several times crossed
the room and made an effort to close the
door. Each time upon reaching her little
chair and turning around she found the
door had swung open. Finally she walked
over to the door and. opening it wide,
said, "Des walk In, Mls'er Wind."
tttle June was sitting on her father's
lap. and when he began to whistle she ex
claimed: "Oh, papa, don't do that; you might
draw' your breath all out of shape." Pic
torial Review.
What a garden's Nancy's! ... , 1 '
Twenty feet by nine!
Scarce they can, one fancies.
Spare a plot so fine.
All along the borders
Daisies white and red.
Gold and blood-red wallflowers.
Dwarf flowers and tall flowers
What a magic pleasure there is spread.
Oxlips, pansies bloom there.
Many a flower beside.
Proud of finding room there,
Towers fair London Pride.
All the dainty darlings
Of the spring are there.
Tossing blue and white skirts.
Pink skirts and bright skirts.
Columbines are dancing in the air.
Kane- tends her garden.
Dibbles, hoes, and rakes
Muscles she must harden
With the pains she takes.
They may teil of gardens,-
Fair as man can see.
Yet what ever man see,
Nancy, my Nancy,
Ours shall be the garden still for me.
Marshall Steele, In the Pall Mall Gazette.
Paying His Debt.
f (By Carl Jenkins.)
Wily should there be one ear of red
corn' while thousands around it are
The chemists gave It up long ago but
the answer is as plain as the tail on
a dog.
There is only one ear of red corn to
every fifty bushels grown. When a
farmer heaps fifty bushels together
and holds a husking-bee, attended by
thirty, or forty young folks. It Is well
understood that the young man who
finds the red ear Is privileged to kiss
any girl present.
Nay, more if he is coy and back
ward, he will be led up to it whether
or no. It is called Cupids Rule and
must be obeyed. If the red ear be
found by a girl she can't go kissing,
but she can conceal the discovery un
til she can slip it to the young nan
she prefers to be kissed by.
At Farmer Graham's husking-bee the
red ear was found by his son Joe. .He
turned pale as he saw the color of
It. He tried to hide it, but it was given
away, and the girl he kissed was Min
nie Davis. He did it blushing harder
then she did. George's father chewea
tobacco In church, and his mother went
barefoot to camp meeting, but the boy
was almost too shy to buy a wash
basin from a tin peddler. That red
ear was the turning point In his young
life. He was told, even by his mother,
that he was destined to marry Minnie
Davis, and that he must set his mind
to it.
Almost with a rope around his neck
he went a-courting and had reached
the stage where he could talk of 'tater-
bugs and whippoorwills when along the
highway one day came a party of
gypsies. His mother gave them a cus
tard pie to tell the young man's for
tune. "The girl you love will be false to
you as a wife," was the solemn in
formation. "Your house will burn down.
Your cattle will die. You will at last
commit suicide by jumping down the
That fixed George. He stopped court
ing and he didnt send excuses. It
wasn't a case of jilting exactly, but
it was case enough to cause lots of talk
and wonder. .The story got around
that George was consumptive, and had
been told by th doctors not to marry.
And then came another happening. A
fruit tree agent was taken ill and was
at Farmer Davis's a' month. During
that time Miss Minnie, was his nurse.
In time he learned all about that red
ear of corn and the gypsy prophecy.
He also became aware that the mail
was forlorn. When on his feet again
he determined on a plan. The farmer's
charges were so small that the agent
felt heavily in debt. He went over to
Farmer Graham's and got speech with
George and said:
"I have' come to see you because
your case is like mine."
"Did you find a red ear of corn when
you were a young man?"
"I plumb did, and I kissed a bonnie
"And you fell in love?"
"You bet!"
"And you were going to ask the girl
to have you?"
"I was. I had the night picked out
and my boots all greased."
"But ther didnt no gypsies come
"Didn't, eh?"
"And you had your fortune toll?"
almost whispered George.
"I gave 'em a blind calf for telling
"And and ?"
"They told me about forty times
worse than they did you."
"But did you go ahead and marry
tht eirl?"
"You bet your sweet life I did, and
she's made me one of the best wives
a man ever had."
"And not a thing happened?"
"Yes! I found a pot of gold while
digging a cellar."
"There is only one point where our
cases differ," said the agent. "Her
folks were not mad at me, Mr. Davis
and his ' wife would like to see you
hung, and at the same time they are
glad there was no marriage. They
don't want no such nincompoop as
you in the family. As for Minnie, I
think she loves you, but she will do
as they say. You might possibly get
her to elope with you."
"But them gypsies."
"Oh. their prophecy won't count if
you elope."
"Then I'll do It!"
"Don't say a word to any living
soul, but leave all the plans to me."
The agent was still making his tem
porary home at the Davis farm, and
after a private consultation with the
farmer and his wife the mother wan
dered out into the orchard where the
girl swung in a hammock and said:
"Minnie, they say that that Graham
idiot is struck on one of the Bebee
"Do you mean George?" was asked.
"Of course."
"But don't talk that was about him!
He's as smart as any young man
around here!"
"But look how silly he's acted!"
"I've heard you say you believed In
the gypsies."
"Well. I must have been talking In
my sleep. If pa or me ever hear of
your even looking at the Graham !
house as you ride .by we'll be ma
'nuff to turn you out doors!"
"I shall look If I want to."
Then came the father, who stood
around and coughed for a spell, and
then asked:
"Minrie, did you ever meet Mr. Scott
in the villager'
"He's the cooper, you know."
"Why, if that's the one, he's 60 years
"Sixty-three, dear."
"And what about him?" 1
"He wants to marry-you. I think."
"Marry me!" exclaimed the girl, aa
she rolled out of the hammock. "Fath
er, have you lost your senses?"
"But you see, Graham's idiot "
"I won't hear another word!"
"Mr. Scott Is a very nice "
It was three days later when the
fruit tree man had a chance to say
to Miss Minnie:
"George doesn't believe In the pro
phecy any more, but his folks want
him to marry another. He says he
loves you, but "
"If it was my case there'd be an
elopement and let the old folks go
"I wonder If "
"I shall see George this afternoon
and tell him so. I shall also tell him
that at 3 o'clock tomorrow afternoon
I shall be at the school house with
my team. You understand with my
The morrow came. The father said
he had to' go to town, and the mother
said she'd go calling on Mrs. Schem
merhorn after dinner. Mr. Graham
also had business somewhere, and hla
wife also had call to make.
The lovers took advantage of It.
They arrived at the rendezvous almost
simultaneously. The fruit tree man
was there, also Squire Pelham.
"Take hold of hands, my children,"
commanded the latter
"What for?"
"To be married. There can be an
elopement without marriage, but there
hadn't orter be."
The ceremony was over in five mln-
mu' and tnen the fruit tree man sald:
There always ought to be a bridal
tour with a marriage, unless the con
tracting parties are lame in both legs.
"y riS is at the door. There are fruit
trees aboard for Mr. Phillips, seven
myes down on the county line road.
You can deliver them for me and make
your bridal tour at the same time.
?el7xfrV!vS 13 a P"rty od tour.
Ten Mr. pnilhps the varieties are Seek-No-Further,
Wine and Northern Spy.
When you come back drive right to
Minnies house. I'll be there."
That bridal tour wasn't a tour cf
Europe but it was a grand success,
ana when the newly-weds drove up
they found the four parents at the
fS-f welcome them. (Copyright,
1913, by the McClure Newspaper Syn-
Finger Tip Brains.
There are a great many different kinds
of brains In the world.
Some people think there is onlv one
hind. Thereby they prove how little of
thlmselves: "" dIscusslon they Pess
A man of this class, one of those un
fortunate products of our colleges, who
have evidently spent their college life in
living to learn instead of learning to live
was speaking of a successful young busi
ness man about his own as. who had
just been elected to public -frice. "it's
a shame such men should lepreseilt "
he said, loftily, "I know this man and he
is absolutely unpolished, and hasn't any
biains to speak of. '
Now, the man in question wen: to wrk
.n this city several years ago as an errand
boy. He was fifteen yejirs old. He had
a grammar school education and no more.
Today he is, no, not a multi-nillllonaire,
far better than that. he is? the owner of
a small but prosperous, honest, anGcon
structive business. He has madu hla
money by genuine production. He has
made it slowly; there are no enormous
profits in his line, and no opportunity for
graft, for him at least. His success has
meant constant watchfulness, constant
planning, constant seizing of opportuni
ties, constant application to all kinds of
business problems.
Tell me, business men and women, do
these things require brains or not?
Personally, I think the winning of an
honest business success means an amount
of brains to which the average college
professor might well take off his hat.
No, of course they are not the same
kind of brains which this man's critic has,
or thinks he has.
But they are brains Just the same, and
valuable brains.
A young friend of mine wanted to take
up hair dressing and the care of the scalp
as a profession. Her family were horri
fied. They wanted to educate her to be
a teacher or a librarian just as her sisters
and aunts had been. "Have -you no
more brains than that?" they protested.
They expressed a' painfully common idea
that manual work and brain work are
wholly distinct things .ir.d that manual
work Is lowering..
Could anything be more absurd?
Work in which the hands must carry out
the orders of the head requires a different
kind of brains, to be sure, but not any
less than straight head work. I am sure
the lady who makes my hats has more
brains in the tips of her deft fingers
than many college girls I know have in
their whole heads.
No work is lowering that Is done well;
no brains are to be discounted if they
are honorably employed. Not to ac
knowledge that there are many kinds of
brains in the world, and an urgent neea
for every kind, is to prove one's own
lack cf any kind.
Let others work and lose their health
In piling up the sordid wealth.
But that is not my wish.
Let others burn the midnight oils.
Devising ways of grabbing spoils;
I'd rather sit and fish.
Let others solve the problems great.
Affecting the affairs of state;
None of that on my dish.
Let others hew the nation's path
And bear the thankless public's wrath,
I'd rather sit and fish.
Let others lead the strenuous life
That's full of worry, toll and strife.
But that's not my ambisb.
Let others wear their lives away.
By living five years every day;
I'd rather sit and fish.
According to Uncle Abner.
More things can happen to an oat
mobile in five minutes than kin hap-
pent to a hoss in five years.
It looks as though the crop of wild
oats is going to be as luxuriant as ever
this year.
It looks as though Woodrow is goin'
to disappoint a lot of folks a lot of
folks who were sure he wasagoin' to
fizzle out.
A man who goes to the office to
have an electric lighting bill explained
to him finds out for the first time how
little he really knows about everything
under the sun from the ethics of the
drama to the nebular hypothsis.
A pedestrian who does not give a
woman in an electric time to change
her mind three times at street inter
sections is a candidate for the hos
pital. What has become of the old codger who
used to dye his mustache and try to make
out that he was only thirty-five years old ?
The difference between a journalist and
a newspaper man is that the newspaper
man has a steady meal ticket.
Lem Scroogs of this place has been in
Philadelphy only two or three years and
has made several hundred thousand dol
lars. He works In the mint. I
The third term mayor of Cambridge,
Mass., classic home of historic Har
vard, is Irish. 40, and a. bachelor. Last
time he ran he told the women he
wouldn't change his race and couldn't
change his age, but would solemnly
agree not to run again before he had
changed his bachelorhood. His blar
ney got him by, but did he marry?
Did Barry marry? Divll a bit! So...
now he's running again .and a-lot of"
indignant women are after his scalp
for political breach of promise. There
by showing up another value In this
growing enlistment of women's inter
est in public affairs. For with. votes
for women political bachelors will
have to go. in their restraint of
matrimonial trade guilt will be per
sonalized and he who would bear the
honors will also have to wear the
chains. When Penrose of Pennsyl
vania was once reproached for not
having taken a wife, he said he was
ready to marry whenever "the or
ganization" would pick out the wom
an. Mayor Barry can't escape by that
excuse, for the Woman's Homestead
association, Bostonese home boomers,
say they're ready to help him choose
if he's unable to do the choosing un
aided. So we guess, Mr. Mayor, it'
up to you. Wichita Beacon.
The Kansas legislature repealed the
speed limit for automobiles and made
the provision that "no person shall
operate a motor vehicle outside of
cities and villages at a greater speed
than is reasonable in the specific cir
cumstances, nor at a rate to endan
ger life or limb," and it declares that
a rate higher than twenty-five miles
shall be presumptive (not conclusive)
evidence of want of proper care In
case any one's person or property is
injured. This is a very sensible
amendment. It cuts out the possi
bility of blackmailing automobillsts
by threatening them with prosecution
for exceeding the speed limit. It Is
sensible, too, in this, that what is rea
sonable speed under some circum
stances is not sensible under others.
There are many places where the old
limit of twenty miles an hour would
be dangerous to life, and there are
circumstances under which twice that
speed might be proper. It is up to
the automobillsts, however, not to
abuse the liberty given them in this
law. Should they do so the next leg
islature may feel called upon to make
another change. Leavenworth Times.
The remark is frequently made that va
cation outings are "not half as restful as
staying at home, except for business." It
is true that one may sit In an easy chair
at home with less fatigue than on climb
ing Bear mountain. But the vacation
weariness is really recreative by the rad
ical change of muscles and nerves in
volved. There Is a fatigue that is de
llclously refreshing, strange as it mav
seem. There is a getting leg-weary which
completely obliterates all consciousness of
brain weariness. It is illness, by mis
takes in diet or excessive exertion, that Is
almost the sole danger of an outing.
Nearly everything else is so helpfulIn
deed, one might say so necessary m a va
cation that all should embrace the re
lease. Get tired through and through and
sleep by the inexorable mandate of nature.
Indeeu, the aim should be to get too tired
to worry, or mourn, or even think. Fa
tigue is sometimes regarded as an actual
enemy by the ambitious man. It seems to
block his way, and he rages against it.
But one might as well rage against the
necessity of breathing. For it is one of
the few Inexorable things In this world.
Man has invented many things that, for
the moment, defeat fatigue. A luxurious
railway train seems to laugh at going on
loot. But fatigue has wings and over
takes the train. One tires of the easiest
chair. One tires of the telephone, tires of
every labor-saving device for the reason
that fatigue springs out of our person and
Is always and everywhere a part of us In
its season. The demand for rest is the
definition of the finite. Every sundown
proclaims a vacation, and softly curtains
the world to that end. We may trim our
lamps, but the lamps burn out. There Is
nothing but "must stop." Suppose we do
it here, with good wishes for your vaca
tion! New York Mail.
It is understood in Washington that the
tariif bill just reported to the senate will
be passed without substantial amend
ments. Neither the Republican nor the
Progressive critics of the measure will at
tempt to obstruct action or to delay
It by time-killing and record-breaking
speeches. Still, If any senator or group
of senators has data to prove that the
Democrats have here and there cut to;
deen. have deprived Industries of needed
protection, have violated their own
pledges of moueratlon and reasonableness
in revision, it Is his or its duty and right
to present such data. We cannot have too
little of the alarmist oratory of partisans
who talk with an eye on the next elec
tion. To tell us that the Democrats are
crueiiv wronging the farmers because they
l ave voted Republican, or that the Demo
crats are going to be rebuked a year from
next November, or that the president has
dictated to congress, is to tell the Intelli
gent citizen nothing he cares to hear. Let
us have no foolish, futile, irrelevant or
melodramatic speeches "for buncombe."
Let us have facts and figures bearing on
the fairness and reasonableness of par
ticular rates. Is the pending bill too radi
cal? If so, let senators show just where
and why certain reductions are too drastic
from the viewpoint of downward revisibn.
Revision is the order of the day, the
benefit of the doubt should be given to
the long-suffering consumer, and the bur
den of proof is on the critics of the bill.
Chicago Record-Herald.
"He never seems to question a thing
his wife says." "No, he never argues with
her." "I wonder why?" "I suppose that
she has told him not to."--Houston Post.
"My dear. I see you are having some
clothes made for your poodle." "yes; it 1
the latest fad." "Well I serve notice
right here that I don't button any dogs
down the back." Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Innocent bystander soon loses his
Innocence,, or ceases to bystand. Judge.
"Aren't you going to say your prayers,
Willie?" "No. I'm not. I am tired of
praying for this family without getting
any results." Life.
The Crank "This Is the last time I'll
ever camp out." The Enthusiast "Well,
you shouldn't camp out unless you can en
joy yourself without being comfortable."
Doctor "I sent that patient of mine to'
your place to cure him of consumption. "
Farmer "Then you sent him to the wrong
place, doctor, to judge by the way our
victuals are going' Baltimore American.
Oh John! Where are you?" "Don't know,
Maria. I'm scattered about here some-
Tom "I don't know whether she sinus
or not." Jack "She doesn't. I've heard
her." Puck. '
Grlcrgs "I hate to n!av rw,ir -t t v. -
hard loser." Briggs "It's a hanged sight
better than nlavlnir ffr -i K r, ..
ner." Boston Transcript. - --.

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