The Topeka state journal. [volume], August 26, 1913, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

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THE TOPEKA DAILY STATE JOURNAL TUESDAY EVENING, AUGUST 26. 1913-
Hy FRAXK P. JIACLEXXAX.
(Kntcred July 1, 1873. as second-class
matter at the postoflTlce at Topeka. Kan,
u;.der tile act of congress.
VOLUME XXXV.
....No. 17
Official State Paper.
Official Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
Daily edition, delivered by carrier, V
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suburbs, or at the sams price in any Kan
sax town where the paper has a carrier
Py mail one year J3.OT
By mail six month t-SO
By mail J00 days, trial Older !
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Topeka State Journal building. SOO. SK.
and Sot Kansas avenue, corner Kighth.
New York Office: 250 Fifth avenue.
Paul Block manager.
Chicago Office: Mailers building. Paui
Block, manager.
Boston Office: Tremont Building. Paul
B.ock. manager.
FVLL LEASED WTRK REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
The State Journal Is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news w
gamzatlon for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur
pose. HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.
Subsoriliers of the State Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper maileil regularly
each lay to any address at the rale
of ten cent a week or thirty cents
j. month (by mril only). Address
(banged as often as desired. While
out of town the State Journal will he
to von like a daily letter from borne.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
To make the governorship situation
In New York m-re interesting. Colonel
Mulhall ought to be mixed up in it.
Mr. Lind is probably in a position to
make the assertion that carrying a
message to Garcia was not so much.
If it isn't one thing, it's another.
Noil' a long suffering public is about
to lie afflicted -with moving pictures
of Harry Thaw's escape.
Nor is there any particular glory for
William Travers Jerome in his role
as Nemesis to Harry Thaw. But there
probably is considerable cash.
Daily is life being made harder for
the idle rich. A man with $20,000
cowed in his clothing has been ar
rested in Pittsburg for vagrancy.
Hooray for Ben Tillman! At last
he is himself again. He says the
American home has broken down and
the country is tottering to Its fall.
That crusade which has been started
by the women against the big dinner
on Sunday is also a fine boost for the
canned goods industry.
A German aviator reports that he
ran his machine into a shower of me-t.-ors.
Still it could have been worse.
They might have been cold-storage
egg;".
Boston contemplates giving a muni
cipal picnic. Most of us know the or
dinary picnic. But a Boston picnic
imagination staggers and is unable to
work.
It is claimed that owning and run
ning an automobile makes a man
young again. Some of them, to judge
liy their driving, have gone back to
the 12-year-old period.
Public men often earn the gratitude
of the people for the things they don't
do. Governor Blease, of South Caro
lina. Is out in a letter complaining
that the national administration has
completely ignored him.
Topekans are now enjoying summer
resort weather and an advantage or
two that are not to be found at the
Bummer resorts. For instance, no To
pekans are in any danger of becoming
victims of the fool who rocks the boat.
Announcement is made by the Anti
Cigaret league that nitrate of silver,
used as a mouth wash, will banish all
desire for the 'coffin-nails." But how
does the league pro; osc to cultivate an
appetite for nitrate of silver?
Speaker Clark has gone to the res
cue of the administration currency
bill. Still, not having planned to leave
his duties to go back on the Chau
tauqua circuit, he can't claim to be as
great a financier as Secretary Bryan.
That many Kansas City girls receive
less than $6 a week while farm hands
get $2 a day, with fried chicken, ice
cream, and automobile rides into the
bargain, suggests to the New York
World the need of an inquiry as to
why some of the girls do not marry
the farm hands.
With Colonel ltooseveit planning to
start on October 4 on an extended tour
of South America, it is apparent that
the four regiments of Rough Riders
for Mexican service, which the wise
men have been insisting that he has
been quietly recruiting during his trip
in the southwest, will have to make
their expedition into Mexico under
tome other commanding officer.
Neither does Norm Hapgood shine
with exceeding brightness as a politi
cal diagnostician. He devoted a large
portion of the first and second issues
of his Harper's Weekly to the con
sideration and expose of an alliance
between Mayor Gaynor and Tammany
Hall; and sounded a vigorous call to
arms for the smashing of Tammany's
power in New York city through the
defeat of Gaynor In the forthcoming
mayoralty campaign there. And now
comes the news that Tammany has
no use for Gaynor as its mayoralty
candidate, and proposes to give its
support to another man.
SIGXS OP BUSINESS REVIVAL.
Attributing the recent reaction in the
stock market to realizations prompted
by the damage to the corn crop and
disturbing Mexican rumors, Henry
Cle.s. the New York banker, dis
cusses, in his current financial rsview,
the crop outlook and the conditions
which prevail in the financial and busi
ness world. They not only appear to
be stable but also augur well for laser
and more prosperous activities in the
future.
"The damage to the corn crop is
evidently serious." writes Mr. Clews,
"one authority placing the total crop
as low as 2.2."0,000.000 bushels. This
estimate I think will prove extreme, es
pecially in view of improved conditions
in the northern corn belt and the fact
that recent rains have aided tlu bal
ance of the crop. The effect, however,
was chiefly one of disappointment in
expectations which had risen to a
3,000,000.000-bushel level for the corn
crop. Fortunately the crop damage is
by no means a calamity. Even in the
states most affected other crops, such
as wheat, alfalfa, etc.,' have been suffi
ciently good to largely ofTset the loss
in corn. Higher prices for the latter
article will also come as a bojn to
many growers who will benefit by tlio
losses of others. When the harvest is
ilnaly gathered, it is quite likely that
in money value It will closely approxi
mate the returns for last year, whicii
were estimated at about $8,500,000,000.
"The Mexican situation has naturally
disturbed confidence, and more perhaps
than is necessary. President WTilson
has a strong grip upon the government
and a very exceptional Influence upon,
congress. It is known that he is reso
lutely opposed to any such thing as
war with Mexico, and his quiet, pa
tient but firm manner of dealing with
the problem is more, likely than any
other course to lead to a peaceful and
satisfactory solution. In general busi
ness there are symptoms of revival.
Some of our largest distributors both
in the west and In this ---ity report
business fully as large In volume as
they expect. A conservative mool still
prevails among all classes cf business
men, chiefly owing to tariff and cur
rency uncertainties, also to the general
political tendencies of today. October
is now set as the date for pass-ins the
tariff bill, and the currency bill at best
cannot be secured until some weeks
later. The currency measure at the
moment is much confused by opposi
tion, but here again the sours! reason
ing and calm resolution of the presi
dent is an element which may have
much influence in securing favorable
results. It is altogether too early to
give up hope of securing a reasonably
good currency bill before -the present
congress adjourns.
"There has been further improve
ment in the money market, which is
best illustrated in the freer offerings
of commercial paper at lower rates. In
some cases considerable sums have
been placed at as low as at per cent
for four months. Bankers, however,
are still discriminating as to borrow
ers, as seems desirable in view of the
statements produced by the last bar:k
call, which in some cases showed that
loans had not contracted as much r.s
had been expected while reserve items
had actually decreased. There is i-o
reason, however, for uneasiness re
garding the monetary outlook, which
has been made practically safe by the
positive and liberal policy of Secretary
McAdoo. We will soon be in the height
of the crop-moving season, and the ef
ficacy of his course of action will be
more distinctly felt.
"One of the most satisfactory fea
tures in the monetary situation is th-;
check upon new issue. Returns for the
month of August promise to show a
material decline in this respect, both ;t
home and agroad. Meanwhile divi
dends continue on a satisfactory ba
sis, the distribution at the end of this
month, according to published re
turns, being over $3,000,000 In excess oJ
last year's figures. As there has been
no material check upon general pros
perity and the disposition in all direc
tions has been to spend more carefully,
it would seem as if public savings were
increasing and that new issues of a
more desirable sort 3hould find a bet
ter market later on. Something, how
ever, must be done to restore the con
fidence of investors, whose interests
have in many cases been severely
shocked and injured by the unreason
able and hostile attitude to capital
shown so frequently by legislators and
government officials. This tendency if
continued will inevitably tend to drive
capital out of the country or into mire
congenial occupations."
FARMING HAS NO PAY DAY.
Herbert Quick, editor of Farm and
F ireside, the national farm paper pub
lished at Springfield. Ohio, publishes
in the current issue of his paper a
letter from a woman living in Chi
cago, who is yearning to get onto the
farm. Her husband is an engineer on
the Michigan Central railway and thev
have five children. The wife is
years old and the husband a few years
cider. The writer of the letter adds
that she was born and raised on i
Virginia farm and that, as she looks
back, those were the happiest days of
her life.
In replying to this letter Mr. Quick
soys, among other things:
"How can I. how can anyone. pl?n
out a way for these people to get a
farm ? They are used to the income
of a railway engineer, which is a pret
ty good income for working people.
Could they ever save enough to buy a
term by going into the country and
working for wages?. I wish I could
say they could, but I dare not.
"In the first place, it takes more
than desire to make. a farmer. The
ctsire is the most important thing
perhaps, but other things are also es
sential. I wonder if this woman
knows how much different her life)
would be from that on the old Virginia
farm as she remembers it through
the mists of years?
"Three things are required for suc
cessful farming. First, the human
factor, the farmer and his family.
The city man's work is independent of
weather, bugs, worms, flies and plant
and animal diseases. He can plan
exactly, and carry out his plans. But
when he finds himself on the farm he
is confronted with a great mass of'
influences over which he has no con
trol. "Then there is the natural factor,
land. It seems a shame that there
should be so many acres locked up in
the hands of people who do not them
selves work them, but such is the
condition of things. Some time I hope
it will be different. Some time I
hope we shall recognize In our insti
tutions the basic fact that the posses
sion cf so much land as he needs for
his actual uses is the right of every
human being.
"Then there is the matter of capital.
Tools are needed. Live stock, seed,
fencing and building material are
needed. And farming has no payday.
Nobody hands the farmer an envelope
containing his wages at the end of the
day, the week or the month. Thous
ands of people in the city would not
be able to wait for the land to yield
tcm a living, even If they had the
land.
"And yet many of them make the
break to the farms and some win."
JOURNAL ENTRIES
Most husbands are as Independent
as their wives permit them to be.
A girl with a matchmaking mother
has a most uncomfortable time of it.
Health and wealth are poor mixers.
If a man has one he seldom has the
other.
Neither does a woman have to exert
herself much to make a fool of a man.
If people were compelled to prac
tice what they preach there wouldn't
be nearly so much preaching.
J AY HAWKER JOTS
Girls should remember, advises Mis
Carlson, of the Lindsborg News, that
lockets and bracelets are no good sub
stitute for soap and water.
A woman, says the i-cranton Gazette,
who Is so prudent that the neighbor?
can find nothing in her to gossip about
is dull and uninteresting to them.
Editor Peterson of the Cimarron
Jacksonian certainly knows how to rub
it in. In the current issue of his paper
he runs a fine half tone picture of a
roadway filled with snow.
Editor Meadows, of the Gaylord Sen
tinel, observes that drouth may blight
the corn crop and torture the cattle,
but it is a safe guess that it will not
cut short the crop of candidates. At
this early date everything, seems to be
moving along nicely and no shortage
of material is noted.""'"
A fellow down in southeastern Kan
sas took a contract to build a concrete
bridge over a stream of water, relates
the Clay Center Times. Then the dry
weather set in and he had to haul wa
ter for. two miles so as to mix the con
crete. Building a bridge over supposed
water and then hauling water for the
concrete is a new experience.
From the Holton Recorder: An In
credulous person questioned the verac
ity of the Recorder's story last week
about the ants heaping a cup full of
sugar on the kitchen table of a Holton
housewife. Well, the story is not onlv
true, but there is more of it, as wa
have learned since writing the original
story. The can of sugar from which
the ants carried the grains was not
open but had a loose lid on it, and the
ants entered the can and departed witn
their loads through the space under the
lid.
GLOSE SIGHTS
BT THE ATCHISON OLOEE.
Thpre's one thing about self praise- It
is sincere.
It should be said for the fat man that he
rarely rides a motorcycle.
What has become of the o. f. man who
used to keep his in a demijohn?
An attorney's office boy assumes among
his friends to know all about the law.
No crook would have a chance if the
average detective were as wise as he
tries to look.
We should become reconciled to Our
losses, but a widower shouldn't be too
sudden about it.
A lucky young man is the person too
bashful to propose, for living is going to
be high this winter.
It not only takes a lot of money to
drink regularly, hut time which could be
spent to a better advantage.
An Atchison barber Insists there is
more symmerty to a man's legs than to a
woman's. However, it is too hot to argue.
Dancing is good exercise. So is eateh-as-catch-can
wrestling, and in modern
form the two have much in common.
Ab. Adkins gets so little nisil for his
wife to open th-at he figures he must be
something of a disappointment to her.
Would it, with the present narrow -crauge
style3 in vogue, be inappropriate
to refer to a fashion mag, as a book of
revelations?
While we cheerfully concede that the
tomato is a fruit, canned tomatoes are not
canned fruit by any stretch of our elastic
imagination.
"1 confess I could never be much of a
conversationalist, owing to the difficulty I
experience in saying anything when I
have nothing to say. Rufe Hoskins.
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
gome people regard failure as merely
beng unable to fool all the people all the
time.
Were men As perfect as their wives ex
pected them to be. the women would die
of ennui.
The hardest tiling in the world to man
age is a wife. The next hardest thing is
a husband.
If a man doesn't make a fool of hlmseif
ovt-r a woman before he is 25, he is apt to
do it after he is 60.
Blobbs "I believe it was Patrick Henry
who exclaimed: 'Give me liberty or give
me death." " Slobbs "Yes. but that was
long before Reno was on the map."
Muggins "And you really object to see
ing a woman in a decollete gown?" Bug
gins "Not at all, my boy. What I ob
ject to is seeing so much of her out of it."
"I believe in giving the people what
ti want," remarked the business man.
"That's right," replied Harduppe. "You
don't happen to have a ten spot about
you. do vou?"
Wigwag "A prohibition town always
gives me a pain." Guzzler "Naturally.
You have to have a pain in a prohibition
town before you can get anything for it."
&Y THE WAY
BT HARVEST PARSONS.
The social and financial standing of ;
. church Is shown "of a Sunday marn
in" and is to be determined by
whether a preponderance of buggies
or autos are parked outside.
A solution that would be generally t
satisfactory would be to arm Thaw
and Jerome with razors, throw them
into an abandoned cistern and then
forget the location of the cistern.
The Morning Squash has finally
discovered that Stotts, former mem
ber of the Big 3, has a job. Given
plenty of time and territory to work
in, th quash will get some where
near the facts eventually.
A couple of ginks have been arrest
ed for setting fire to a Turner hall In
southeast Kansas. It appears that
they had no connection with the at
torney general's office, and were
therefore unauthorized to burn prop
erty in that district.
There is a bug in every jug of oint
ment. The improvement In weather
cannot be said to be of any special
benefit to the soda fountains, ice
plants and laundries.
The most noticeable feature of the
Mann act is its tendency to keep the
cussedness at home.
There is always one better. Sprink
ling the river bed at Hutchinson is
good enough, but there Is a place In
Kansas where the water for mixing
the cement in a river bridge is being
hauled three miles.
Only one suffragette In Lucaon jail.
The loudest alarm clocks will run
down in time.
One health specialist says it is poor
policy to eat while worried. So it is
up to the common peepul to "refrain
from taking a slant at the grocery bill
until after the meal.
Thaw Is still in the woods, but the
benefits of his escape are many,
Sherbrooke, Canada, was put on the
map, the lawyers get another hunk of
the fortune and Evelyn another hunk
of advertising.
Auto specialists claim that the time
is coming when automobiles will have
but one headlight instead of two. That
will add to the general gayety
of things by inducing timid pedes
trians to climb a tree every time they
see the new moon coming up.
Every man has his faults, but fre
quently the faults of a man are so
blamed insignificant that no girl feels
justified in marrying him to reform
him.
SAYS UNCLE GAV
"It took me a long time to figure
out what's the matter with that risin'
young merchant over there," said old
Doc Houser to me, indicating with a
gesture of his cob pipe the general
store conducted" by Clem Wiggles
worth. "But I've got him tagged at
last." : i
"What's the trope. Doc?' I asked,
seeing that he had been perusing1 the
pink sheet. " ' ' ' .
"Dope is right' Doc replied. "I got
l out of the sporting page that fel
low has everything but control.
"You see," he went on, after filling
the venerable cob anew, "he's got
plenty of speed and action. I shoul 1
say he could bat about .300. He's a
great lad for thje bleachers and his
heart is in the game, but somehow ho
eioesn't seem to bring home the bacon.
The same thing that ails him ails a
lot of us. .We're long on the spectacu
lar, paw arourid and muss up the
landscape, get everybody's eyes fixed
on us, and then shoot it across three
feet wide of the plate. We've got
everything that goes with big league
salaries except the ability to deliver
the right thing, at the right time, in
the right place. So we stay with the
bush leagues all our lives. Most of
us are still playing corner lot ball."
From which I gathered that young
Clem Wigglesworth had brains, en
ergy, industry, business training
everything but the skill and the judg
ment to do a definite thing at a par
ticular time in a particular way, and
thus accomplish a dennite purpose.
Hence he was almost a complete fail
ure. His business was only one leap
ahead of his creditors and bets were
even that they would "get 'im afore
fall." Finally they did get him.
Clem lacked "control" just as most
of us lack of it. He had plenty of
energy, but his brain wasn't disci
plined. He thought not wisely hut too
fast. His progress was marked by a
series of explosions ' rather than by
steady unceasing movements. He
wasn't lazy, but he never knew what
his toil would bring him. His efforts
were many, but their directions were
never identical. Everything that he
did seemed to be at cross purposes
with every other thing. The harder
he worked the worse he jumbled his
affairs.
It's perfectly plain that you can't
succeed without "control." Given
brains and industry, with the energy
to back both, nothing is impossible tJ
you it you know how to work to a
set purpose and force your hand and
brain to bend all things to that pur
rose. Too many of us continue to
bombard the grandstand when we
should be utilizing a Dart of our en-
ergy in learning to put the ball over
, the plate. It makes no difference what
you do or how well you do it. if it
isn't done at the right time nrwi in
right place, and doesn't fit into your
scheme of success. Wild efforts make
wild disappointments; 50 per cent of
ficiency is valueless. It is the thing
t.iat you can do just right when the
demand presents itself that counts
Copyright,. 1913, by the McCiure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.
to'ao' iS mere!y work that you don't have
Much greatness is submerged by the
overflow of egotism.
The hobo's idea of a helping hand is one
that holds a handout.
The Lord loves a cheerful giver, and
everybody loves a cheerful loser.
Money is the root of all evil and many
a family tree springs therefrom.
Love doesn't make the world go round
as often as it makes the lover go broke.
A woman worries more about her com
plexion than she does about her pros
pective harp and erown.
Love may laugh, at locksmiths when the
m ners and the .dressmakers don't even
get a pleasant look.
"Men don't understand women." says a
pessimist; "if they did the women would
have to do all the chasing."
The wise man follows the lines of least
resistance by telling all women how well
they look and all mothers their babies are
beautiful.
MCD PIES.
' Plums are pebbles, and you can mix
Nice brown dirt and chopped-up sticks,
Pat it down and set in the sun
When it gets hard your pie is done!
Sand is frosting: sift It fine;
Sprinkle thick till It gets a shine
Just like mother's I guess that you
Would have a piece if I asked you to.
Mince and apple and custard thick!
Haven't I done my baking quick?
Watch me, now, while I cut my pie
Whoever wants a piece say "I!"
Anna p. Bryant in Woman's World for
August.
THE EVENING STORY
Planned by the. Cook.
' (By Carl Jenkins.)
Sarah Baxter was 30 years old. She
was homely awful homely. Sarah
was the cook at Lookout Castle, as
Colonel Ryder called his country home
on the Sound.
Sarah had an honest look, even if
it was a homely one, and appeared to
be very frank, but. alas for those who
haven't learned that every homely
cook has a trick up her sleeve to be
played sooner, or later! What Sher- j
lock Holmes himself might not have!
suspected of that woman wrestling
her pots and pans was that she was
both jealous and romantic.
Sarah had read many a novel. They
were not about Buffalo Bill or the
James Brothers. They were novels of
love and adventure. They had heroes
and heroines. They had varlets and
villains. They had knights and chev
aliers and maidens in distress. They
had their Duvals and Reginalds.
Sarah believed every line she read,
even to a princess eloping with a
swineherd and living in a cave there
after as contented as an old hen. She
had to spell out many a word, but
she absorbed all. If the pudding
burned or the roast beef went to a
cinder while she waa finishing a
chapter, it didn't take away a bit of
the romance.
Sarah was jealous, and of Mis3
Evelyn Ryder, 20 years old and some-,
thing of a belle, though she had given
no encouragement yet to the half doz
en young men who came fluttering
about. Why jealous? Oh, there were
a dozen reasons, and Sarah thought
each one a good one.
The man of all work at the Castle
rolled into the waters of the Sound
one day, and having reached bottom
he remained there indefinitely. The
colonel said it might be a week's
job replacing him but Sarah Baxter
had one knocking at the back door
the very nexi day. His name was
Simon Schermerhorn. He was 25 years
old and as homely as Sarah herself,
and had red chin whiskers besides. He
could read a sign of "Keep Off the
Grass," and he could write his name.
But he was never heard to boast of his
education. Sarah got him on the tele
phone, and while he was waiting to see
the colonel she said to him:
"Simon, I shall never marry a man
unless he is a hero, and so there's nj
danger of my falling in love with you.
but I'm willing to make a great man
of you."
"I don't believe I want to be
great," was his dubious reply.
"Then you may go. We want no
stupids around here."
"But 1 11 try to be great if I can.
"That's more like it. Now listen.
When you are called in to see the
colonel, say 'sir' to him every time.
You will see his wife. Say ma'am'
to her. You will see his daughter.
Say 'miss' to her. She ain't home
this morning, and she may see you
first out doors. If she speaks to you
clao one heel behind the other, thus,
and bring up the right hand and re
move your chapeau and make a grand
bow. Let the plume in your chapeau
sweep the grass."
"What in thunder is a chapeau, and
w-here in thunder is mine?"
"Oh. I forgot. Well, take off your
cap and make a low bow. You
needn't say much, but let her see the
light of admiration In your eyes."
"The same as if I was looking at a
fine bulldog?"
"Simon, if you play the fool I 11
never forgive you! Can't you under
stand that I'm going to make a
great and rich man of you? Hist!
The colonel wants you. Remember
that, sir."
Simon could run an auto, cut
grass, fuss with a garden and make
himself generally useful. He was
hired on the spot, and the colonel
later remarked to his wife:
"He doesn't seem to know enough
to pound sand, but maybe we can
get along with him for awhile."
That afternoon when Miss Evelyn
came home she ran across Simon
on the lawn.
"You must be the new man?" she
"Yes, sir yes, ma'am yes, miss,"
he replied in his confusion, and then
remembering Sarah's caution he re
moved his headgear and made a grand
sweep and a bow. He fell over back
ward in doing it. and heard the girl
snicker as she passed on.
When her work had been done for
the evening the cook called Simon in
and read him a chapter ' from a ro
mance, and then closed he book and
said: "Now, listen to me. Miss Evelyn
Is a romantic girl very romantic."
"Yes."
"She's like me in one thing she'll
marry a hero or none."
"But, ding It all, I'm no hero!"
"But I m going to make you one,
if you've got the brains to follow my
advice."
"I don't want to do anything to
bring out the measles or mumps at
my age!" protested Simrn.
"It's no use talking to a half-fool!"
exclaimed Sarah, as she threw up ner
hands. "You can be the husband of
Miss Evelyn, as well as not, and here
you are kicking about it!"
"Her husband!"
"I tell you it's so. She's romantic.
I'll bet you anything she's thinking
right now that you are some cheva
lier here In disguise."
"Is that the way girls are?"
"It is, Simon. They run to romance.
If a tin peddler comes along they are
ready to believe that he is a duke with
hi3 old di ds on. Inside of a week Miss
Evelyn will be sure in her mind that
you are here to woo and win her."
."By gosh, but I can't believe it!"
said Simon.
"No, because you are not romantic,
but you take my word for it and do
just as I tell you. I shall tell Miss
Evelyn on the q. t. that you are the
son of a duke."
There were some funny things at
the castle during the next fortnight.
The cook kept at Simon till she al
most made him believe in her oft re
peated assertions, and te was quite
taken out of himself in following her
Instructions as to attitudes. Miss Eve
lyn was much outdoors, and ran across
Simon a dozen times a day.
Sometimes he addressed her as "Your
Grace." Sometimes he cast down his
eyes and sighed like a horse after be
ing clubbed with a fence rail. Some
times he looked at the end of her nose
and seemed about to speak to tell her
that he had come in disguise to bear
her away to one of hU 27 castles.
He was something new and novel
in the man line, and that spirit of
mischief Inherent In ninety-nine girls
out of a hundred induced Miss Eve
lyn to lead him on a bit. In fact, she
went so far as to say one day:
"My Lord, will you please root out
that big burdock near the front gate."
Simon fell over his feet, and lost
no time telling Sarah the news.
"I knew It would come," was the
cook's reply. "She " has penetrated
your disguise, and you . are ready for
the next step."
The family auto had been in the
shop for repairs. Simon was sent to
fetch it home, and the .next, day he
took Miss Evelyn, for a ride. Before
leaving the grounds the cook had a
few words with him, and then a few
more, and the few more were:
"If she holds off tell her that you
are desperate enough' to emmit mur
der and - then blow your own brains
out!"
When the auto had gone a mile
Simon turned to Miss Evelyn.
"Dearest, will you fly with me?" '
"Man, are you crazy!" demanded the
girl.
"I love you to distraction, and you
must be mine!"-
"Turn about and go back, sir!"
"Woman, I am a desperate man! If
you don't pledge me "
He had stopped the auto, and it
had been overtaken by one in which
a young man was driving alone.
'Any trouble here?" he asked as ne
raised his cap.
I want you to haul this fellow out
and give him a threshing!"
Certainly, Miss."
Simon put up the best fight he could,
but it was not good enough. He sat
by the roadside holding his bleeding
nose as the young man stepped into
the Castle car to drive the girl home.
The betrayed man didn't follow even to
get his things and the money due him.
It was three months later that Sarah
Bexter wrote him:
"The whole trouble was with your
red chin whiskers. Miss Evelyn knew
that no hero ever wore such. It may
interest you t'. learn that the young
man who smashed your nose is com
ing some day next week to ask the
colonel if he can have his daughter
for a bridge. Farewell, base born!"
(Copyright, 1913. by the McCiure News
paper Syndicate.)
EVENING CHAT
BY RUTH CAMERON.
Making Remorse TJaefnl.
Regret and remorse are two of the bit
terest, the commonest and the most
i utile reelings in the world.
To dwell upon the past is to neglect the
present, and to neglect the present is to
prepare more regrets for the future. "To
morrow today will be yesterday," is a
gooa motto for those who are apt to think
too much about the "It might have beens'
and ignore the "it may be."
And yet there is one way in which the
Dnterness or regret may be turned into
the sweetness of wisrlom. Ami th !
when you are assailed bv the miserable
memory of some foolish mistake, instead
of fleeing from that thought or trying to
blame some one else, or indulging in an
energy-wasting fit of the blues, just walk
bravely up to that mistake, look it over
carefully and try to put your linger on
tne exact quality In you which caused It.
And then, when you have found that
quality, stick up a good big danger sign
m your consciousness, and perhaps it
may do some good the next time you are
headed toward a similar blunder.
For Instance, once upon a time I wanted
to buy a horse and carriage, for which
luxury I had been saving for several
years. A man who was Interested in
horses got wind of my desire and hasten
ed to tell me of a great bargain (?). I
went with him to see it and at once fell
in love with the Tig and bought it the
next day. Before I had had it a week I
realized that neither the horse nor the
buggy was at all what I wanted. The
carriage was too light and the horse too
spirited. A few months later I sold the
horse for one-half and the buggy for
about one-seventh of what I paid for
them.
Every time I think of that little trans
action I am assailed with bitter regrets,
the more so because shortly after I
bought this outfit I might have had a
suitable and reliable rig for about the
same price.
Now to flay myself with vain regrets
or to bitterly blame the man who advised
me to buy is absolutely useless, but there
is one tiling I can do. I can say to my
self. "You were advised to wait a bit and
look around, but you were sure that was
the only horse on the market. It was
your impetuousness that made you make
ihat foolish mistake. You know It is al
ways causing you trouble. Next time you
bave an important step to take, be guided
bv other people's advice and don't be in
such a hurry. When you go house-hunting
this fall, you'll be sure to fall In lov
with the first pretty house you see, over
look all Its disadvantages and think it's
the only one in the world. Well, that's the
time for you to remember your bad bar
gain." If I sav that to myself emphatically
enough who knows but that I may im
prove a little?
Irretrievable mistakes are bitter things
but then so are some of the best medi
cines: and like the medicine, they are use
less until we have swallowed tl.tm.
Unusual Feats of Memory.
One of the most astonishing
mnemonic feats on record is record
ed by John Wesley. "I knew a man
about twenty years ago." writes Wes
ley, "who was so thoroughly ac
quainted with the Bible that if he was
questioned as to any Hebrew word
in the old, or any Greek word In the
New Testament, he would tell, after
a little pause, not only how often the
one or the other occurred in the Bible,
but also what it meant in every place.
His name was Thomas Walsh. Such
a master of Bible knowledge I never
saw before, and never expect to see
again." Walsh had a close rival in
Macaulay, who, according to James
Stephen, could repeat "all Demosthe
nes by heart, and all Milton, as well
as a great part of the Bible."
A strange Instance of freak mem
ory Is recorded In the case of a ser
vant girl In a Scottish manse. ' She
was almost illiterate, yet when deliri
ous in fever, surprised those around
her by repeating long passages of the
Bible in Hebrew. The kitchen where
the girl spent her evenings adjoined
the minister's study. He was accus
tomed to read aloud. The girl had
not understood or consciously taken
heed of the reading, yet her mind had
seized upon and stored the phrases.
London Chronicle.
Before Mayonnaise.
In the days before the art of mayon
naise dressing was known to every
good cook the English had a very fair
substitute for it which they used with
their salads. It was called "an artful
mixture," and doubtless as much In
genuity was used in its mixing as the
modern cook uses in making mayon
naise. It consisted of mustard, oil and
vinegar, "artfully" mixed to a smooth
dressing. At her discretion the cook
might add the hard-boiled yolks of new
laid eggs, if before adding them she
carefully rubbed them to a powder.
The recipe, though somewhat vague,
suggests a dressing with claims of the
attention to the lover of good salads.
KANSAS COMMENT jj
SINGING THE RIGHT SONO.
Prosperity Is largely a state of mind,
after all. The barefoot boy, fcIPPin
along to town with a couple of nickeia
in his pocket, feels rich. He has not
a care in the world, therefore he
prosperous. The perspiring capitalist,
stewing and fretting at his desk oer
some reverses In the stock market or
depreciation In the value of his hold
ings feels poor and broken down, ana
as a man thinks, so he is. The day
laborer coming home Saturday nlgnt
with 10 or 20 dollars In his pocket and
all his grocery bills paid, not a thin
to worry him, may be the most pros-,
perous man In the community, while
one with larger assets and larger re
sponsibilities welgning aown upon
may be poverty stricken. In New York
dollars; in Kansas a quarter might
ouy as gooa a. meai. mtijiuius
.. ' . . ! . . . . ...1 ... a . .1. ond nrtnr only
1 rlUll , CMiU c ,- .. f
by compa-ison and by process of mind.
In Kansas a man with a hundred thou
sand is rich; in New York he is in
very moderate circumstances. -iice
up and the world cheers up with you.
With nsi nflnnrH or KufTerlmr humanity
in our community and county, we are
prosperous. Gray coun is on the
ngm Dasis. it is accustomed m need
ing that little bunch of cows, that
flock of chickens or turkeys, that
patch of kafhr or sorghum, besides go-
i n tr af-A. Vi i Kin. i ..1 .1 n wbcat Or
... " .i.e.,, i j , v
A-n Ttiwi la 1 A faAil unrl tVilM
county Is on a solid basis; no Inflated
ooom or get ncn quicn excitement
Gray county is on the right track. No
need to feel blue or excited over any-
iimig ui an. Limurron javftauuiiui.
HARD WORK STILL. WINS.
Wichita had a visitor today who hitched
his wagon to a star several years ago, ex
perienced some bumpy roads and Is now
ready to assert that a young man can get
there If he is willing to work. President
Butcher of the Emporia State Normal
school is the man who believes the
Philosopny or working one s way tnrougn
the world is still practicable In this twen
tieth century. Years ago he wanted to
become a well known educator. Like
many young men his desires were greater
than his bank account. Ke chose the
janitor's broom and rag for his crest nd
went to it. Through a preparatory school
he worked, then college. It was hard
sledding at times and the star seemed to
be setting instead of rising. But he land
ed. Young men nowadays who think the
can change the world's history by driving
motor cars with the muffler cut out must
not forget that stars and hard work still
have their good points. Wichita Beacon.
IROM OTHER PENS
LIGHT AND GOODNESS.
Municipal Judge Mahoney of Chi
cago Is a philosopher as well as an
accurate measure of the degree of of
fense one commits while on a plain
drunk as against the offense one com
mits when he is on a boisterous jag.
Judge Mahoney loves the light and
hates the darkness. He wants light In
his courtroom. "Darkness and un
cleanlinees," says the judge, "lead to
crooked thinking. This is an axiom
as old as the Bible. I am glad to see
so many white buildings going up In
Chicago. They reflect the light and
have a stronger psychological effect on
people than is imagined." "Let there
be light, and there was light." Light
Is life; darkness is death. From the
beginning to the end of things the
light is a symbol of fullness and com
pleteness. All through the Bible light
Is found as a figure of speech. Dead
nations have worshiped light. Home
people today worship the sun. The.
light gives life, but is also takes life.
What the Judge says about light in
Chicago is true in Memphis. A well
lighted city makes for good spirits.
More people commit suicide on dark
days than on bright days. More peo
ple die at night than in the daytime.
This last statement, however, proves
nothing, because more people are born
at night than in the daytime. A well
lighted house makes for cheerfulness.
There is nothing more inspiring than
that figure- In the Bible whore Christ
declares himself to be the light of the
world. Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
AUTOCRAT OfVhITE HOUSE.
Members of congress have given up
hope of a vacation and many of them
cannot see any escape from a contin
uation of the present extra session tip
to the date for the regular session to
begin. And with this condition fac
ing them they see the power and the
dignity of the great legislative branch
of the government slipping away with
a relative increasing power and domi
nation of the office of president. Many
of the Democratic members of this
same congress who have become re
signed to the dictatorial policies of
President Wilson, denounced with ve
hemence the domineering attitude of
former President Roosevelt which
never for a moment assumed the rlg
orousness of that displayed by the
present executive. Politicians through
out the country are wondering how
long President Wilson can maintain
his ascendency over congress. With a
little consideration for the members
of his own party in the legislative
branch, he might have assured se
curity in his position for the four
years of his administration, but this
now appears doubtful, for the fact
that he has seen, fit to unalterably op
pose a program on the part of con
gress to meet him more than half way,
with the result that he has unneces
sarily ruffled the feelings of the mem
bers. It Is reported that many of the
leaders in both branches are now
hostile in heart to the administration
anil that nothing short of presidential
autocracy will prevent a revolt. If
he succeeds he will have established
an unprecedented record for executive
control, and at the same time congress
will be relegated to a position of
minor authority and stripped of al?
dignity. Pueblo Chieftain.
rJ.?w. dld tnat ne'er-do-well manage to
?L J'In hopG that lt he Inspired enough
faith, he might live on charity." Balti
more American.
"Here's a very good definition of a
sentimentalist." "Iefs hear lt." " sen
timentalist is a person who weeps over a
fallen column, but Is too lazy to heln set
It up again." Birmingham Age-Herald.
,"Pld...you ever-see a man Jump a mtninr
claim?" asked Tenderfoot Tim "Y
replied Rattlesnake Pete; "jumping a
claim isn't anything much. I've seen a
Wa1hington8ta?. m'n'ng "P-tus."
7tl!JnS tmanXsft XWZ
can. Blatemcnt- """."-Baltimore Amer
"I "hoMMn't mind, meself. if thev closed
1 sez Is. it a man ain't full by 'all-nut
ten. ain't U-ying."pUlI y aiI p"1
RVMOR Or THE DAY
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