The Topeka state journal. [volume], December 26, 1913, LAST EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980

Image provided by: Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

                
'5
By FRANK P. MAOUENirAN.
flktnd Julv 1 m. aa
natter at the postofflce at Topeka, Kan.
acasr ua act el congraaaj
(VOLUME XXXV.
..No. 287
a .4.
Official State Paper.
OffldaJ Paper City of Topeka.
TERMS OP SOBSC1UPTION
Dalhr edition, delivered ar carrier. 13
nli a weak to any part of Tooefca ar
euburba, ar at the aama price lo any Kan
sas town whtrt tha papar baa a, carrier
By mall ana jesr;..,......-...,..93-0'
By mall six month IUu
By mall MO days, trial ardor. -
TELEPHONES
Private branch exchange. Call
ask th Stata Journal operator fo
son or aepanment aeairsa.
Tepeka Stata Journal bunding, am aw
ad MM Kaaaaa avenue, earner Eighth.
New Tork Office: S Jtftb avenue.
Paul Block manager.
Chleao Offloai Mall an bcOdta. Pant
Block, manager.
Boa ton oaica: Tramont Building. Paul
Stock, manager.
PULL LEASED WDUE REPORT
OP THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.
Tha Stata Journal la a member of the
Associated Press and resolves the roll day
telegraph report of that great newa w
Ka.nl cation for the exclusive afternoon
Mbltcatlen In Topeka.
Tha newa la racalvad la Tha Stata Joor
aal building orer wlraa (ar this aola put
Fewer needle gangs on the streets
in the big cities and more In the home
might be some advantage.
. Now that the income tax law is in
effect, most of us can sit back and let
the other fellows do the worrying.
Father probably got, besides the
Christmas bills, a lot of fussy things
with which to clutter up hie desk.
Anyway, the Thaw case has given
the lawyers a field of exploration, the
limits of which are not yet in sight.
The United States government has
only Huerta to worry it, but the Brit
ish government has Mrs. Pankhurst.
Too many of the modern exponents
of Christmas cheer are in it for the
notoriety and advertising they can get
out of it.
It should be borne in mind that the
busy highway robbers may be only
downtrodden brothers who never had
a chance.
Kissing aids diphtheria, declares a
medical authority. Which gives diph
theria and advantage that can't be
overcome.
' "Slit skirts are ouf of style." Per
haps it will be no more than prudent
for mere man to lock up his extra pair
of trousers. ;
Now we know what was the matter
with ancient Rome. It has been dis
covered that the "Rah! rah! rah!" yell
originated there,
A St. Paul minister has come out in
defense of Ananias. But probably he
wouldn't have done it if Ananias had
lived in Minneapolis.
Europe's uncrowned royalty seems
to the Washington Post to be impar
tially distributed among several classes
of glad, sad, bad and mad.
Senator Oliver's 6,650 pounds of
complimentary buckwheat flour ought
to help a little in official Washington's
struggle to live on Its salary.
Senator Ashurst's bill for a $350,000
barbed wire fence along the Mexican
boundary should include an embargo
on the exportation of nippers.
In consideration of the honor and
the advertising of the president's pres
ence. Pass Christian, Miss., is doubt
less willing to forego Its constitutional
liberties.
Although the New Tork police have
not discovered the man who sent the
bomb that killed the girl, they have
dincovered the motive, which is better
than nothing at all.
A Chicago judge has - acquitted a
white woman accused of murdering
her Chinese husband, ttius saving the j
jury, the governor- and the indignant
public from all bother.
Zapata appears to be among the
more courteous of the Mexican cut
throats. He has taken the trouble to
notify Huerta that he will be degraded
and hanged from the balcony of tha
national palace.
If the gas bills are to be regulated I
by the heat produced by the matter
which goea through the pipes and met- I
ers. as is being suggested." most of
them will be of the minus variety dur
ing the good old winter time.
Hans Schmidt, the priest on trial In
New Tork for the murder of a girl.
must have plenty of money, or friends,
who have. Four noted alienists have1
testified that he is Insane. And such
testimony is not produced for a song.
Senator Bristow charges that' the
Glass-Owen currency law contains
'many of the Important" provisions of
the old Aldrich proposal for currency
legislation. This being the case, ax
Senator Aldrich and the ' Republican
party are entitled to some of the cred
it or blame, as the case may be. for
originating .this legislation. .
"Now watch for a sample of 'Dem
ocratic good times." say the enthu
siasts over the new currency law. And
if they should come, which every -one
hopes, with the possible exception of a
few moss back Republicans, they will
have the great distinction of being a
decided novelty. - But the real thing In
the bumper crops' line will do mora to
bring good times about within a year
or so than any kind of a currency law
that might be written. ' ,
RADIUM TREATMENT OF. CANCER
The American Society for the Con
trol of Cancer fears that exaggerated
ideas of the power of radium in the
treatment of cancer may result from
the recent publicity given to this agent
In the dally press. It appears highly
important at the present time that
limitations of radium in the control
of cancer should - be emphasized as-
well as its favorable effects in certain
cases. Otherwise the familiar story
of new hopes, destined only to disap
pointment, will again be recorded at
the expense of many unfortunate suf
ferers. :
, The curative effects, of radium "are
practically limited today to superficial
cancers of the skin, to superficial
growths of mucous membrane, which
are1 not true cancers, and ' to : some
deeper lying tumors of bone, etc..
which are not very malignant. The
problem of ' the constitutional treat
ment of advanced, inoperable cancer
is still untouched by any method yet
devised or likely to be devised for ad
ministering radium. Even among the
so-called cures, it still remains to be
determined in many cases whether
the favorable result is permanent or is
to be followed sooner or later by the
usual recurrence. The most compe
tent surgeons do not dare to pro
nounce a case cured until five years
have elapsed after an apparently suc
cessful operation. The same test mu3t
be applied before we can- finally de
termine the real value of radium.
It should be emphasized especially
that radium cannot at present exert
any permanent benefit on generalized
cancer, and since cancer, in a very
large proportion of cases, is widely
disseminated in the body early-in the
course of the disease, this entire group
of cases can expect no important re
lief from radium. Another large group
of cancera is comparatively inacces
sible to the application' of radium, so
that the ultimate course of the disease
is not effected, although certain por
tions of the tumor may be reduced in
sise. Again, many forms of cancer, al
though localized and accessible to ra
dium, grow very rapidly and resist the
curative action of this agent, so that
no real benefit can be expected from
its use.
The best results of radium therapy
can be secured only when compara
tively large amounts are available for
use and the present limited world's
supply of this metal places it out of
reach of the great majority of pa
tients. It is to be feared that much
harm may result from undue reliance
upon small quantities of low grade
radium when other methods of treat
ment would be more effective. '
Evidence of the possible extent of
popular misconception on this subject
Is found in a pathetic letter recently'
received at the New Tork Health De
partment from a sufferer in Califor
nia who had somehow obtained the
Impression that the United States
government was about to purchase
large quantities of radium from
abroad.- Assuming that the "New
Tork City physician" would have a
plentiful supply, the writer asked that
some be sent to him C. O. D. without
delaying to advise him as to the cost.
Under the term "cancer" are com
monly grouped several diseases which
differ widely In nature, causation, and
courses, and in their response to ra
dium. It requires both skill and ex
perience to determine just what type
of cancer one has to deal with as well
as the advisability of using radium.
Hence, It Is extremely difficult to for
mulate an accurate statement of the
true position of radium therapy, but
it is quite clear that the exploitation
of this remedy as a cure of cancer in
general is to be deprecated.
ADVICE TO THE MIDDLE-AGED.
In the January Woman's Home
Companion Ralph Waldo Trine writes
an Illuminating and exceedingly prac
tical article entitled "Actualizing One's
Ideals," In the course of which he
gives the following advice to the middle-aged:
"It would seem that middle or later
life should be the most happy and tru
ly satisfying period of life that to
which the previous years all have been
leading. But we can't then stop
growing if we would be truly happy
and useful and let us remember that
to be useful is one of the prime
requisites of being truly happy. Some
things possibly have gone; but other
things surely have taken or should
take their D laces.
"Some of the bloom may have left
the cheeks; little streaks of color, dif
ferent from that of babyhood or youth -
may have appeared in the hair; less
Uthesomeness in the form may re
quire a little different suit or gown to
reveal its greatest attractiveness, or
even to envelop it at all.
"But whatever changes - the years
may bring, and we will all reach mid
dle age If we live long enough and
have not already passed it there
should be gains, ' in experience, in
knowledge, in wisdom, and in pow-1
ers, that will far more than compen- 1
sate for whatever losses or apparent ,
losses the passing years have brought, i
There will be disappointments both in
ourselves and in others. There will
be ' disillusions. But nothing is ever
quite perfect in this world or in this
life. We will moreover save ourselves
much of unhapplness when we once i
fully and frankly recognise this fact.
There will be discouragements; there
will be conditions at least temporar
ily hard to bear; there will be sor
rows. But these all have their Influ
ences, in building character and in
beautifying life if wisely grasped,
wisely turned, and wisely used." ,
Ruling Oat' the Revolver.
Here la a statement to the effect that
there are 10,000 persons killed in this
country every year, and nine In ten of
them .would not have been' killed were
it not for the handy revolvers. A Ken
tucky judge is quoted aa saying, in 30
years' . experience, he never tried a
murder case but what occurred because
of the violation of the law prohibiting
the carrying of concealed weapons. The
revolver is a terrible foe to humanity.
It is dangerous anywhere, and an the
'time. 'The most vigorous law- against
it should be nasaed and enforced. The
federal government' should take a hand
I in this, and rule it out of interstate
I commerce, and punish any man severe-
i ly who is caugni nomioi uie
That would be an effective way of
stamping out murder, far more than all
; the prisons and executions would do.
We hope, before President Wilson goes
out of office, he will slip a paragraph
to this c.feet in one of his messages.
He will save thousands of lives if he
does. Ohio State Journal.
jovnnjL ENTRIES
A popularity that baa to be purchas
ed is not of the desirable variety.
Among the hottest things served
with many meals are the family ar
guments. , -
And the man who wants but little
here below seldom has that much.
Neither was the old-fashioned rail
road station, with its odors of hu
manity, ahy more disagreeable than the
modern one with its smell of disinfect
ants. Father cannot be blamed for not wax
ing enthusiastic over a Christmas gift
when he knows full well that the bill
for it will come along about the first
of the month.
JAYHJWKER jots
The ties that bind are not Christmas
neckties, insists the Wamego Times.
Mrs. Wetherholt is quoted by the
Shawnee Chief as saying: Since I have
been so hoarse that I cannot speak out
loud my husband has been more cheer
ful. Qa.be Toots remarked recently 'within
the hearing of the Pratt Union: There
ain't nothin' that kin go out and work
like a candidate that's bein' urged to
run. by his friends.
How is it that the liar can gain so
many ears when he goes forth .to lie?
asks the Norton courier. Ana it is to
be hoped that the Courier .will ask
something easy next time.
And the Cherry Creek correspondent
of the St. Francis Herald may well be
pardoned for asking: Did you ever hear
of anything like this? A couple of our
boys traded dogs last week.
The trouble about paying the fid
dler, insists Tom Thompson of the
Howard Courant, is that you have to
keep it up so long after you have got
too old to enjoy the dance.
Repartee on the streets of Oberlin, as
reported by the Oberlin Times: A
veterinarian of our city, jokingly said
to a farmer Saturday, looking at a
strange animal he 'chanced to.be driv
ing, "When did you steal that one." The
farmer replied. "The day before you
killed that one for Neighbor Smith."
Here's another good story going the
rounds of the Kansas press: A little
Svedlsli boy presented himself' before
the schoolma'am who asked bis name.
"Tonny Olson," he replied.' '"How old
are you?" asked the teacher. Ay don't
know how old ay -bane.'' "Well., when
were,- you . born?'.' asked the. teacher,
who "nearly fainted at the reply: "Ay
not born at all; ay got a stepmoth-
The eggsistence of an egg trust has
been denied, says the Winfleld Free
Press. But still only the eggstrava
gant housewife will eggscuse the use
of an eggstra egg. The eggstraordi
nary price of eggs is hard to eggsplain
eggscept on the theory that the eggs
ecutive committee of the egg layers
is eggspressing Its eggstreme eggsas
peratlon at the eggscessive eggstent of
the eggspostulationeggspressedby eggs
cited hen raisers, who eggspect
eggs, and whose eggspletives need :
to be eggspurgated when they eggsplore j
But there's no use getting eggscited.
Tou can eggsist even if eggs have made
their eggsit from the menu. Their
eggsellence has been greatly eggsagger
ated. GLOBE SIGHTS
BT THE ATCHISON GLOBE.
A lot of men are sent to Heaven in an
obituary.
The world needs some reform and more
bathing.
Talk Is free In this great land, and
worth about that much.
Quite a few men we can think of
wouldn't stand a chemical analysis.
Some audiences are so clammy they
should be referred to as congregations.
Men should be careful. A woman doesn't
believe a lot of things she pretends to
believe.
Ab Adktns says he early acquired a
reputation for industry," and hasn't been
able to quit work since.
First of the year resolve to be good for
goodness sake, and not because you are
married and have to be good.
Tou have a lot of schemes tou are too
lazy ro li y uui, ana uiiicra you are amra .
to tackle. Everyone is like that. I
He that humbleth himself will be ex- j
alted. Is one text. Still, most married I
men are humbled and hardly exalted.
It takes the children some time to have
their own way, although they frequently
come nearer than us older heads.
A man likes to imagine that his mind is
forming superb thoughts while he la
watching the clouds from his cigar.
There is also some curlositv in the ereat
outside world to know how much of the ;
price m. n hu puayes: ja-rau diodbjt.
When a man selects politics as a Ca
reer, it indicates, among other things,
that hard work doesn't represent his idea
of a good time.
A man is to be congratulated for a
cheerful disposition, but at the same time
there may be something in the theory
that the grouch can't help It.
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
From the Philadelphia Record.
A handmaiden the waitress.
In spite of the beef trust the vegetarian
might be able to make both ends meet.
Many a fellow gets the grip who never
belonged to a secret society in his life.
A reformer Is simply a man who tries
to convert other people to his way of
thinking. .
When all the houses in a row are ranted
except the corner one, it la last, but not
leased. .
Blessed Is the peacemaker, because he
has to live down tne reputation of being
a busybody.
Tou never can tell. The fellow who
blows his own horn Isn't always the
best musician in the band.
8II1ICUS "Otve me an Illustration of tne
difference between the Ideal and the real."
Cynlcua "CourtJhtp and marriage."
Hoax "The railroads ought to be glad
there isn't any tax on locomotives." . Joax
"Yes. tt nusht Slve them locomotor
ataxia."
Wigg-"No fellow likes to be tied to a
girl's apron strings." Wagg "That a
right.-- Maaw- a girl has -lest oat -here ass
she had too many strings to her beau."
Another Andrew Jackson's cane has
been delivered at the White House. We
arant know -Andrew personally, but
gather that he had a sufficient number
ox canes to make a picket fence arouna
tne mint oea. -
Social: Mr. Wilson and family of
naHungun are A ma sing witn - we
ii i . . . .
, Rosalio Huerta, pinched in Topeka
w wwiuuuus, wgiua Bufc
nixed by his namesake in Mexico. The
ubd oecween snopuxters sum
imcn cumoera-ia drawn very oisuncuy
It was a Werry Merry Christmas, but
there la something to be thankful for
In hA.M.t..- J. ft- ITImm U
be no mora "Night Before Christmas
parodies for quite a while.
Many women-admire their husbands;
but a majority of them have to call up
a Deep Sense of Doty to get away witn
tneir atimiratlon. -
It is passing easy for a man to re
main in doubt as to whether it is better
to go to church on Sunday morning or
to perform the other Sabbath penance
read the comic supplement to - the
aiaa. - '' ;
The way to make 'em last longer is
to give the chee-ild so many breakable
toys that it will spend some time in
debate over which to break nrsr.
The Spanish monks were geniuses in
their way. but they failed to invent
anything in the way of torture to meet
the just deserts of the blinkety-blanked
yap who yells FIRE. , .
This department -takes great pleasure
in announcing: that we didn't receive
From Hon. 8. Claus a single purple
necktie.
Here's hoping you experienced the
oay eyeryooay wisnea upon you ai
sight yesterday.
OH TH SPVR
OF THE MOiienr
" BT ROT K. MOUUfON.
Old Doc snd New.
Oh, what has become of the old fashioned
doc.
Who carried a satchel containing a stock
Of pills and squills
To cure all our ills
The old-fashioned ' party without any
frills?
He doctored our pains and our aches and
our chills.
And never was quick at collecting his
bills. '
The old-fashioned doc wore a shiny high
hat.
And a Prince Albert coat and white tie,
and all that;
And his old one-horse shay
Traveled slowly all day.
He wore flowing whiskers, or mutton
chops gray
Which offered a place for the microbes
to stay; - .
But the old-fashioned doc worried not
about germs
He and the bacilli were on splendid terms.
'ihe new-fashioned doc, he's a dinger all
right;
He's on the job always from morning to
night
His face is shaved dean. '
He Is suave and serene.
And ha dashes shunt 4n a high-powered
machine.
The new fashioned doc Is a business
man, too.
He carries no bundle of bills long past
due
He's up to toe minute,
'j.iere's good money In It,
When a new germ appears, he is prompt-
. ly agin' it ,
He will swat It and stab it and smash it
and skin it.
The old-fashioned doc is no more In the
land;
The new-fashioned doe gets the calls, un-
aerstanar
The Diary of a Bonehead.
A kindly old gentleman with a shiny
frock coat, celluloid collar and white lawn
tie came Into my office yesterday, took
the best chair in the place and calmly
said:
"I came in to sell you an automobile
for 62,300."
' "I have an automobile," I said, "and
this Is my busy day."
"Ah. so you nave an automobile. Well
then. I would like to show you a talking
machine."
"I have one now at home and one here
4n the office."
- "Well then, I have a splendid little
ciotnes wringer lor S3.60.
"My wife bought one last week." .
"Well then, how about a good humidor
for .75r' ,
"I had seven and gave away five last
Christmas. I have told you before that
I am very busy today."
"Not too busy to look at a' great bar
gain in an encyclopedia at 75 cents, I
hope."
"I have more encyclopedias than I can
read If I live- to be 400 years old."
"Well then, to get right down to brass
tacks. I want to sell you a patent cork
screw for 25 cents."
I gave him the quarter and he faded
out or . my omce. ."Thaaks," said he.
"That's what I came in to sell you in
tne xirst place."
The Kid's Mystery
There's somethln' doin' in our flat.
' 'Taint like it used to be;
There seems to be some secret that
They're keepin' 'way from me.
They're whisperin' from morn to night.
It makes me got ding sick;
For every time I come in sight
They all shet up right quick.
It seems like I can't go about -
The rooms or anywhere.
Unless somebody has to shout, . -
"Tou musn't go In- there."
Pa's room is locked np Uke a Jail,
It never was before;
And ma, she hollers and turns pale -
It I go near the door.
But when they think that I'm in bed.
These fine December nights,
I'm underneath the lounge instead,
A-seels? all the sights
That in the atttin' room are shown
When dad unwraps the stuff.
I let 'em think they are alone.
So you can hang their bloff.
When I've snuck back and closed soy eyes
in Deo, i can t neip tnink
Of pa and ma's great big surprise -
- And I can't sleep a wink.
They're handing me an awful game,
- And m dead wise this year.
But I'm right tickled Just the same
xnat n rim mas
- POaNllUU PARAGRAPHS.
. JFrom the Chicago News.)
; Confidence Is the stepfather of success.
The less a man knows the more advice
be distributes.
Sooner or . later a man's illusions de
velop Into experience.
The man whose specialty is ""ff1ne; ex-
duui nvar sQPil.
It -is better to marry a strong
woman than a wronar minded ones
Let us sever waste, our tkrae. - It
come la bandy to apply on a jail sen
OccaaleaaBy -a-raansV man wl
oy sowinavwua oats anus ny reaping a
Some of the thins you are walling; for
will come to you much quicker If you
hand the waiter a quarter. -
It's Impossible for a mother to bring
her sea up m the way he eurht to so la
after jsers fsesu has wWa.varwps&C
. TO A MOCKING BIRD. - -O
singer of the twilight solitude!
When mess veiled oaks sigh at my weary
dream,
Beside the sultan heron-haunted stream,
Thy taugUag voice begins its gay pre
lude, -
Mocking the boding owl with mlmle
I
I Then o'er the hushed lagoon the night
mlata brrt.nl
TUa. sudden, throbbing with beatitude,
Rises thy vesper hymn of love supreme.
No old-world myth, no trade love refrain
post thou to everglade and bayou tell;
Bo joyous is thy exulting strain
My sad heart wakes to hope beneath the
jieii..
Paint grows . the memory of passion!
pain,
Forgotten Is the song of Philomel. . ,
. Owen F. Aldls. In Poetry Magazine.
TE2 nVEZKtt STonr
Aon Polly Failed.
(By Grace Kerrigan.)
Fred Landers was U years old and he
and Maggie Travers had been encased
for three months. He had Just come
o -town zrom a run down to
Chestnut Grange, where Miss Travers
lived, when his Aunt Polly arrived from
Michigan. As soon aa aha hnal rmmwH
ber hat and the kissing was over she
ioiaea ner nands on her lap.
"So you .are engaged V she re-
maraea. -
, "I am. Aunty."
"I hope you have made no mistake.1
"It isn't possible."
"But lota of Tfflliur mm huM
"Tou see. Aunty, I am a bookkeeper.
1 take 100 as the baale iH Snnwr
Good looks, 40 per cent.; her-love for
me, 40 per cent.; vivaciousnesa, 10 per
cent. That makes 100 per cent., or par
value, doesn't it? There can be no
mistake?"
"Then you want to atop this thing
right where It is or become a hen
pecked husband and a nonentity! The
chances are a thousand to one. how
ever, that she'll cuddle down and let
ner opinions play second fiddle. I am
advising you for your own a-ood. I do
not want to see you make a snarl of
your me. There was John Truelove
and Sarah Woodhouse. She was care
ful not to cross his opinions while they
were courting, and he married her
thinking she was as soft as putty. In
iuur weeas
But Fred hadn't time to hear more.
.ne gave nis aunt's advice serious
thought during the next week.' There
wasn't much boss and bulldozer about
him, and yet he realised that some
body in the family ought to be boss
a little bit anyhow. He wouldn't
pound on the wall with his fist and get
rea in tne race as ne insisted that the
whale swallowed Jonah; but how nice
It would be to have a wife who wouldn't
question the alleged fact and demand
more particulars than have ever been
furnished the public yet.
"Is there any reason why I would not
be the head of my house?" he asked bis
aunt one evening, a week later.
"There may be a dozen for all
know but the main point is does she de
ter to your'
"Tou mean T
"I mean does she have, a.n nnlnlnn
about things and sticks to it, no, mat
ter what-vou sav?"
"N-o-o, I think not I don't remem-
Der tnat we nave disputed about any'
thing." .
"I dunno, Fred I dunno! Most girls
will dispute when thev are wud.
Just to show off. If nothing more. Some
out -: or -msonierv jaad others to
snuw mat tney can't oe Dossed. When
I was engaged to your uncle Rftben I
thought I knew everything ; worth
knowing, and after our marriaae it
never occurred to me to question any
thing he said. I have found out since
nis -death that he was wrong in believ
ing the Atlantic ocean was nine mil
lion miles wide, but 'sposen I had found
it out during his lifetime and called him
a liar about it? He always insisted
that the moon was only twenty-eight
miles from the earth, and while I firm
ly believed that it was at thirty-five,
was I going to get up a row by saying
so?"
I shan't expect a wife to truckle to
me," observed Fred.
"But you won't to her?"
"Of course not."
"But somebody's opinion has got to
settle tilings."
"Not necessarily. There Is such
thing aa agreeing to disagree, isn't
there?"
"Why. you poor boy. how little you
know about the female sex! Just find
me a girl who makes a statement op
posed to yours, and is willing to let
you off by agreeing to disagree, and
I'll find an angel on earth for you.
She'll be mad because you don't agree.
and there may be strained relations for
a week. There was Ablgal Hastings
and Will Barnes. Win said that a lo
cast had roots"
"But you see. Aunty, this Is an al
together different case. I have taken
the basic rule of mathematics and
proved to you that Miss Travers sizes
up exactly 100."
"Well." said Aunt Polly with a sigh
"if the world has come to the point
where girls can be sized up by book
keeping tactics there Isn't much use
in wasting any more time in sparking.
"And your advice to me is ?"
"Next time you go down there stick
to your opinion. Lord it over her a bit
and see what the result it- .
"But she may get mad and tell me
to go to the pot."
He might doubt that the- pictures
were hung to the best advantage, or
that the icebox was In the most suit
able place to display its bronze knob
and hinges to all callers, and if the
wife readily agreed with him what a
happy evening they could pass!
Further, there might come a time
when she would - read that the
Princess Louise had thirty-two pairs
of shoes. She -would at once declare
that she was at least half as good as
the princess, and set out to collect an
assortment of sixteen pairar It would
be for him to put his foot down and
for her to put her feet In about two
pairs.
His aunt had always advised him
for the beet, and she beins; -a woman
understood the sex better than he did.
There might be much gained and
nothing lost by carrying out the pro
gram. Fred told her of his decision
and waa highly commended.
There was a creek crossing the high
way not far from the Grange, and a
dosea times over Miss Maggie and
Fred had stood on the little bridge and
watched the fish swimming below.
They were there again. So were -the
Ash. - In her .ignorance or fish and
fisheries the girl presently almost
whispered:
- "Oh. Fred, see that monstrous bull
head there!" . - .
"That is not a bullhead; dear it's
a baas, replied Fred.
It wasn't a nass any more tnan it
is a whale, but the golden opportun
ity had -come to the nephew to take
advantage of his aunt's advice. It
wasn't his words so much as his tone
that nettled the girl. -
"It fat a bullhead and a monster.
"It la a baas and a pygmy!" '
"Bullhead, sir!" ,
f
.di '"i" coma d"n bare to
day to pick a fuss with me!"
"Of course not. but you seem ready
for one." . ?
simply said it waa a bullhead."
And I simply said It waa a baas."
"I shall continue to say bullhead'"
"And Ifs base to the end of my
born days!"
.. "Tou are aggressive, sir!"
And you are obstinate, miss!"
The tramp coming along the high
way had never sailed-out of Glouces
ter, but he could have told that the
nan swimming; around so care-free
waa neither a bullhead nor a baas, but
what inland fishermen call a. "shiner."
If they were plenty enough some trust
would be putting them np for the best
French sardines. But the climax came
before the tramp got there.
"Very well, Mr. Landers!" said
Mlas Maggie with a toss of her head
as she turned and walked away. .
If Fred had called to her or fol
lowed her it would have shown a
weakness. He let her go without a
word, and stood there like an idiot
for forty minutes waiting for ber to
return and make up.
The rest can be told in his words
to.-his Aunt Pony when he reached
home:
"As she didn't return I went to the
house, expecting to find her on the
veranda. She wasn't there. Then I
ran down the road for half a mile.
No Maggie. Then I ran up the road
for half a mile. No Maggie. Then I
whistled and called. No answer."
"Cm!" said the aunt.
"Back to the house, and I had to tell
her parents. The father said I was
a chump, and the mother said she
thought I was that kind of a young
man aU along."
Two "urns!" from the aunt.
"I looked aU night, but couldn't
find her. I believe -1 walked forty
miles and .fell into a hundred swamp
holes. See how I was' scratched by
the briars!"
"Cm!" -,
"The next morning she appeared!"
"Oh, she did, and she wasn't
mussed up at all. was she?"
"Fresh as a daisy."
"Urn!- been right in her own, room
all night!"
""I guess so."
"And what happened?"
"Why, she said if I would take it
as a great moral lesson and never
dispute her again she would try to
forgive me."
"And you promised, you ninny!" .
"But you see, aunty, she didn't
cuddle down and let me boss her, as
you said she would. Tou surely fell
down in her case."
The aunt thought it over for five
minutes and then said:
"Cm! Who would have thought
there was such a difference' between
a Michigan and a Tork state girl!"
(Copyright, 191. by the McClure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
EVENING CHAT
BT ROTH CAMBRON.
. .An Unreasonable Husband.
. A feminine letter friend asks me to
please write on the subject, "Should
the mother be able to lay aside all
household worries and cares when the
father gets heme?"
'Can't you picture exactly the con
ditions behind that request? The
husband -coming home from' his day's
work, tired and irritable, wants his
wife to drop everything and be ready
to greet him with a smile and devote
the rest of the evening to making
things comforatble for him; she for
her part has also had a hard day, and
more than that she Is still busy; there
is the dinner to serve and clear away,
the baby to feed and put to bed, sew
ing, mending, preparations for tomor
row, all the innumerable details of
that work that is never done. He
claims that she ought to manage
somehow so that she should be com
pletely at his disposal during the few
hours which he is at home. She de
clares that it is impossible. He says
that is because she doesn't know how
to manage. She cries over the baby
as she puts him to bed. He sulks over
his newspaper or goes out with a
wooden damn.
This idea that a busy wife and
mother ought to be ready to drop
everything and. spend her evening
making things -pleasant for "himself
is as common as it is absurd. Sup
pose, In the first place, she were free
fn An it Iwhlrh no wnmnn whn I-
nursemaid, cook, waitress, seamstress
and general houseworker possibly can
do), even so, why should she? The
chances are that she has worked every
bit as hard as he and at more monoto
nous work. Why shouldn't he exert
himself to amuse her? That would be
just as reasonable.
We hear a great deal about ' the
woman who drags her poor, tired hus
band out to social . functions. As a
matter of fact she is a product of a
small upper class and not half so com
mon as the woman in the humbler
home whose husband wants to keep
hi. ' nAv m nnn.nnx. malnnn
"irr,"": i'rtZ"r." ..rtZ
coopeu up wiuiin uie iuur wui oi ner
heme seven evenings a week, and who
furthermore expects her to look pleas
ant and exert herself to make him
happy by way of recreation.
Did you ever hear the expression
"KHJ?" tt means "Keep Him Jump
ing," and is supposed to describe the
way many women treat their, hus
bands. Now I'm going to invent a
new - code, "KHH," - which means!
'Keen Him Happy." . and which II
think describes the average woman's)
greatest care. A friend of mine who j
was calling witn ner nusoana enaea i
the call very abruptly one evening. J tZZuttto rZXZi
Afterwards ahe apologized for heritne ,Trx.Hence would be strong. There
ruaeness, i anew Annur wouia oe
cross if we didn't catch that car," she
said. That little incident is typical
of the -attitude of constant anxious
watchfulness, of willingness to sacri
fice anything to placate his lordship.
which many women take toward their
husbands.
To my mind all these matters
should be compromised. Each should
be willing to give up sometning ox
personal comfort for the other's hap
piness. The wife ought not to pour
out the annoyances of the day into her
husband's ear; the husband ought not
to expect a hard-working housekeeper
ana motner to ne reaay to cneer mm
up and wait on him.
The only ngnt oasis or nappiness in
married life is reasonableness and
justice, and the husband who expects.
tnis isr not reasonaoie or just.
" Want Sizaple EfeeUsb.
"Tea." said the earnest orofeasor. "what
we want In literature is direct and simple
English."
The listeners gravely nodded.
"Direct and simple," they echoed.
"Those conglomerated effusions of
vaaM intellects." the professor went on.
"sua nosed In lamentable attitudes as
the emotional and intellectual ingredients
of fl clonal realism fan far short of the
irlous -requirements of contemporary
nnda and violate the traditional mod
els of the transcendent mwida of the fnis
abetban era of glorious memory. Plain
and simple English is tha demand of the
Whaiaensa everybody applauded aad
GOOD XOSER&,
"The "good loser" theory as generally
accepted and understood is, accordlnsl
to our way of looking at It, in many
cases overworked. The term as used
generally means that when he is heat"
f a "good loser" wiU . He don - su- -finely
and allow the victors to run
things according to their own sweet
anil. According to this daflnltien,
Person fighting for a principle should y
"or be a "good loser." The men. who
for years unsuccessfully fought slavery
in this country. In congress and on tha
rostrum, were not "good losers." They
have suffered defeat after defeat and t
yet always came back. The same may.
he said of the men and women who
nave been fighting the liquor traffic
Defeat has only made them more seal
ous and determined. General Grant
was not a "good loser." At Pittsburg
Landing and in the battles against Lee
on the way to Richmond, reverses and
seeming defeat only, nerved him for
more determined efforts. General'
Thomas would never have won or de-
served the cognomen of the Rock of
Chlckamauga of he had been a ""good
loser." Colonel Roosevelt has none of
Jbe earmarks of a "good loser" in tha v
light he. has espoused, for . equal oppor-
tunltles anJetter conditions for the
common pedp.e of this land of the free. .
Holton Recorder. ... . ..
'' THE VILLAGE HOTEL. Y
.5 to tn waiting room in the railway
station the least attractive, place In the '
small town Is the village hotel. The of-:
"ce is carpeted with linoleum, the wash,
stand Is in one corner, a forlorn rusted
stove falls to heat the room or heats if"
too much the ah- is filled with the dust
tnat. fwn.ln. .. . w .
. . - ..." cue m mguwn iwnpiNi,
that never clean, there is no light for xhe .
"J of guests who would like to forget
";" uisumiorc in me enjoyment of a.
Bew".paper or magazine, and the only en-
tertalnment offered is the privilege of
watching two or three town loafers, play
pitch with a pack of greasy cards. In the
dining room the food scenery and sur
roundings are still more discouraging.
Boiled beef, watery potatoes, bakers
bread, a variety of small dishes of veget
ables, all spoiled 4 in the cooking and a
cup of some unknown decoction mas
2uJd,,n,, coffee destroyed all the ln
iS2!,.n that Ieft after even the ,
.1 ,.J)?U7' in the hotel office. Up
stairs, the bedrooms are without heat,
W,.la,er' ventilation, or comfortable
furnishings. The mattresses are the re
ma,nVf, what may once have been very. .
SSodbeds'.butfter y service as
K?.t proiifrty, ' s-eneratlons of shiftless
iiuiLrifty. Iand,ords they are without
further usefulness to the traveling public
J.e sheets and pillow cases may be fairly
Sit?.?-Jiut Vl balance of the bed for',
StniL !; , dtry dangerous. Mr.
i?L-L.Mulpo3rL, n?tel commissioner for
Kansas, and his Inspectors, have plenty ,
of work ahead.-Sallna Union.
I ROM OTHER PEtIS
ADVERTISING AMERICA
Since Secretary Lane announced his .
plan for advertising the naUonal parks,
.been receiving support in his be
yef that the scenic beauties of the United
States are scarcely realised abroad. A
sample pf the letters he has been receiv
ing Is the following: "There is need for.
Information abroad. On a ship returning
to America, .a lady, apparently sane,
asked me a question about our country
and then told me her plan, which was to
make an extensive tour of the New
World. From New Tork she proposed to
go to Chicago, not stopping en route. 8ho
had en the Victoria Falls In . Mid
Africa,, and- was sure.' Niagara would be
tame. ' From Chicago she Intended to go
to Bt. Louis, and thence to New Orleans
She had studied the geography of that
section carefully, and anticipated great
pleasure in viewing its mountains. Then
a sail around Florida and the Atlantic
coast would give her an extensive view of
the great United States, and she could go
home and die happy." While It is rather
remarkable that cultured Europeans
should have such vague ideas of the geog
raphy and points of scenic beauty In the
United States, there is more excuse for
the ignorance of foreigners than for the
Ignorance of Americans. Nevertheless,
there are countless Americana whose
Ideas are scarcely more concrete. Wheth
er it is due to our abstract system of
teaching geography, or merely to a pro
vincial lack of interest in what lies out
side their native cities, the truth Is that
many Americans know no more about
their own country than they do of Africa.
One of the reasons why foreigners have
such vague ideas of the United States la
because Americans rush off to Europe be
fore thev have traveled through the
United States. They can tell the foreign
ers whom thev meet in hotels and on
trains what New York, Washington, Chi
cago, and Philadelphia ar like, but they
know very little about the picturesque
scererv of tile south and west, waturai-
lv. foreigners set the Idea that the United
DtatM i- .wtmnn-eri of a number of large
cities with nothing but vat stretcher of
farm 'lands In between. The first thing
we must do Is to teach Americans to see
something of their own country: to find
out all about the narks, mountains, lakes,
and ' picturesque nlaces. Once let Amert- :
cans et the habit of seeing their own
country first, and the Ignorance of Eu
rope with respect to our plcturesjue .re
sources will be corrected.-Washlngton
Post.
A NOVEL STTOQESTION.
Voltaire's dictum that the art of gov
ernment conlsts In taking money away
from one set of people and giving It to
l,..treted In Its classical sim
- .V,. il nrnnnnt of Mr.
b.hM nf KAtnn to eomnat socialism by
rtoing away with Inheritance and naylne- '
from the vast trotertv thus reverting to
the state a modest sum of from S1.SAA to
tsnno to ech young man or woman upon
cni1 of age. Such a nest eve would
eertlnlT'" be rleaan and It mlvht help
to encourage matriraonv. concerning the
future of wh'ch the neaslmfsta were never
more ne-simlstlc than now. But Me. Bab- '
. ann wnn i i-o mti , rn.. inn
son who l- o reaov io presc-ine tne
method in which th- monev arotilred bv
s very simnle a method should be spent,
does not suraest bow the people rm to be
, - . ir " iiii I. ";' zl'
be lend rats snd water rets, aim wild
eats and rold bricks: would the adults,
oossevslne- the monopoly of the ballot, be
permanently content wTii this arrange
ment after their own monev was spent?
At the nubile crlh elsewhere appetite
crows hv what It feeds on. Springfield
j fcevuoucen. , ; fc
nvizoa or the day
It Isn't what you earn that counts; ifs :
what your wife doesn't spendV Life.
Perkins believes that i
's eharac- :
ter can be determined by nis handwrit
ing. -1 oon i rememDer seetlng any of
Perkins' handwriting." "No, Perkins al
ways uses a typewriter." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.- ...
"Has your son any particular ambition?"
"I should say he has. He hopes that soma
time he'll wriggle himself free from the j
bunch and make a nlnety-flve-yard run
for the winning touchdown." Detroit
Free Press. . -
trr-i W . W . .
u" lTO nwn nave reaiiy
on my campaign pictures for MentUlee- '
tion," replied the candidate. Buffalo Ka
?9o. my man. tnis is ant nh. t
a twenty-dollar but I lost." . "But it waa ;
a twtatyloUer bill before I gotitohanr. i
sor." "What did you set It enaaged for?" ;
1
V-
r
'i
V
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