Newspaper Page Text
THE. , NATIONAL: TRIBUNE.
Mr. BosfcyschpH's Confession. ,
It was. vory lato Saturday night -when Mr. Bosbyschqll
oamo homo. It was vory nearly Sunday morning. Ho
ditl not come in tho rjuual way. JIo did nob opoii tho gate.
Ho climbod over it, although, thoro was no apparent rea
son why ho should get into tho yard in that way. And
ho climbed on tho gate with an affectation of groat stealth
and with a reality of great difficulty.
Ho slammed himself up against tho gate with groat vio
lonco and a terrific crash, and closed ono eye and looked
around him at the midnight solitude and said " ah!"
Then he clambered to tjlio .top of the gnto and kicked
against it with his foot as ho scrambled up and made such
a racket that every dog on South Hill woke up and began
calling all the other dogs' iv:aee, while Mr. Bosbyschell
balancing himsolf on tho top of tho gate, rattled it so fu
riously, in his unstoady violence, the dogs could scarcely
hear each other, and Air. B. repeatedly put ono hand to
his mouth, and said " sh 1" in the samo warning tones,
and winked, in a vory laborious and uncertain manner, in
tho several and general directions of the uoisy and invisi
ble dogs, to indicate that ho was doing something powor-
lui sly, and wanted to keep most awful shady about it.
Then ho began to climb over and lot himself down on the
inside of tho gate.
Now tho crate was unfastened, and when Air. Bosbysohell
transferred his weight to tho inside, it ilew wide open,;
banged itself up against tho fence, and Air. Bosbyschell,
and satiety, and tho fear of death that wealth fosters, tho
jealousy of Mfo and love froin which it is inseparable.
Lot none wisn tor unearned gold. The sweat by which
it is gathered is tho only sweat by which
firmly and carefully by tho threshers, and offering a' tiplen
did surface for the plowing horses tljat are soon t6 tread
it out. .Down they come, a line loose herd ot mares, their
it is preserved for j long tails switching in the wind, and drivon on by boys
enjoyment. Wish for no man's money. Tho health, ! and men, who shout and throw their loug staffs here, and
thoro, as some member ol the nerd strays irom the, ranks
or stops to crop the grass by the' wayside. Seven abreast,
these horses are attached to a wooden draff with a smooth
strength, lreshiioss, and sweet sleep ot youth are yours.
Young love by day and night encircles you. Hoards uit
soilod by the deep sin of covotousnoss boat fondly with
your own. iNono, ghoul
your chamber. Your shoes
when you tread in them. The smiles no wealth can pur
-likc listen for the death-tick in rounded bottom about two and a nan leer, square upon
have value in men's eyes 01 i this uncertain platform tho driver leaps and turns his
-1 norses noaas towards tne circumicronco oi tno area, me
I r --
chase groot you living ; and tears that rarely drop on ; beasts plungo in, and at a long nourish and loud eraoK oi
rosewood coffins will fall from pitying oyes upon you dy- the whip away they go. Amid tho flying wheat straw
ing. You have enough to cat, to drink, to wear: then you they keep on their course around and around tho lithe. .
has. What though ho lares more ian lorm oi ino unvor, nonuing uacic to iceop ins uaiancc,"
tons life, increases pains and aches, : witli picturesque costume, his broad sombrero, his swarthy
. What if his raiment bo more I face sparkling with excitement, and his wild, sharp cries
nave an ine rich man
sumptuously? Ho shor
impairs his health thereby
costly ? God loves him none tho more, and man's respect
in such regard comes ever mingled with his envy. Na
ture is yours in all her glory ; her ovor-varying and for-, j
ever-beautiful face smiles peace upon you. Her hills and !
valleys, fields and flowers, rocks and streams, and holy j
places, know no desecration in tho step of poverty, but ;
welcome ovor to their wealth ot beauty rich and poor
to his horses, makiug an animated and peculiar spectacle,
well worth looking at.
Odds and Ends.
The Man with a Bible kind of a Name.
You cannot always tell by tho way a person,
whether his pew is paid for. Banbury JSrdios. '
The Turks took a liking to tho silent Grant, because lie
said.' !so little that they couldn't understand. fjoioelL
- " ' 'A certain little damsel, being aggravated beyond endur-
The cars moved out of the .Grand Central Depot a few j ancc by her big brother, fell down upon her knees" and
mornings ago with tho usual crowd of humanity on board, i cried: "Oh Lord I bless my brother Tom. He lies, lie
as he let himself down on tho sidewalk, on tho outside ofi In the smoking-car' were three farmers from somewhere I steals, ho swears. All boys do; us girls don't. Amen.",1
wiu iuuut.', uibUHiuu ins luce into sucu jiu uxinrussiuu uii uuw& ,uu cuuim, who wero now going uome. jxu wore i Ifc is proposed that the Senate meet only once everv'
- -- V
Itttft li rt ti- n-J (AnHirilt .-kitmi nf - 1 r l ( MtlmtMAi'l , PliinlriHT in (mn'in dIid r nst s-ml -n M (Alliunt 4-l r sn.4-1 imii Um .
miMJKuam. .tuu uuuuiau uuiiumi; ua wwiuu iwru ouwiwu amumuK iuiuuaij, ttim cicivii nao uuijiul; uuu uuuuio jim hvn hnnr h-of vflnrs mir t: ion rmnitin in wsisnn nn v toon.
every dog on the hill, could tliey have seen it. Then with j particular city experiences, whenever ho could get in a, i ty-Four liouvs The object of this bill is to give Senator
stealthy stops he tiptood across tho street in a zigzag man-; word, which .he often failed to do , Sharon a ch.luce to spencl a porti0n 0f his time in the Soni
nor, holding a finger on Ins lips to impress the sleeping! One ot tho party was describing his good luck on some niinhpr TTurh'-nntnn. TTrnnl'Aup .
-rrti1J nii1 -1ir rwtlm?ct iirltl t-ii wl ti4K Cilrmnn . nf.lirtl nnnnCinti vtrlirtt lirt ifctfrwl r cj1-Wn-li I- Ar1nn1 -re tP"vitt '
IIVXlll itllVl tkks V WIlH-00 iHillU tUV-FlllIll liUH V 1U1L CUUUUUj j UVHWi, VWiOiUU HHUU 111? ViOLUUV.1 l OIU ILIU JJ1 -lllllltt 17 VI 1.VJL 11 1 "
while he pursued his cautious way, as he supposed to his
own trout door.
His amazement, when lie found another row of shade-
trees, another fenco and another closed gate confronting
him, was simply colossal. Ho stared until his eyes ached,
then declaring that it was "pof'ly incropemsivel," by
which he was understood to convo' the idea that it was
"perfectly incomprehensible," ho retraced his stops and
sifter stariug very hard at his open gato, plunged through
it, bulged up the front stops, fell against tho front door,!
and while he struggled to gain an erect posture, said! his name?"
ning intervals. I "Idisrei
ance, when lie was treated to some woncleriul Bourbon
whisky. This time ho had visited a similar exhibition, I
but the performance was not equal to his expectations. ,
Tho bottle-trick was wanting. j
" It. was finer than silk, that whisky, " he told his friends, j
"and I wanted more. Brandy, too, aud all kinds you:
could mention all out of same bottle that was what
"Oh, most all of 'em can do that," said another, "but
who was this chap you went to see last night ? What was
Did not Charles Lever hint at the coming invention .of :.
tho phonograph when ho said of one of his ehanictersin f
the polar region that tho words were frozen as they, fell ,v
from his lips until at last he was up to his knees iti hip'
own eloquence ? Turner's FalU Reporter. ' ?
One of the meanest slanders afloat is that which charges !
that one of our clergymen swore an oath the other niglit.
The circumstances are simply these: He went into the
house, and attempted to make his wa"- in the dark through
the sitting-room to the pantry to deposit a bunch of rhu
barb presented him by a parishioner, forgottiug that house-
!. . - a .-- '-'
" shl" at warning intervals. I "I disremember it now ; but it was a sort of a Bible i cleaning had commenced, ino wretched girt had lett a
Some ono, a figure arrayed in white, with frills around S name." ! pan oi soil soup nuur mm uooi, ovur wmcu ne acciueiiciy
its head and blood in its eve, let him in, aud he lunged! During this conversation, the conductor having collected ! stumbled. Slaking a herculean effort to save himself ho
with easy grace iuto tho first chair that went past him,! his fares, had. come into the car with a gentleman and took i grabbed for something with both hands, and. as he alight
after he had made several vain attempts to seat himself i the seat next to the rural party. Tho conductor and his ed firmly on his stomach pulled down on top of him a ta
ou the piano. The reproachful figure of Mrs. Bosbyschell! friend heard the conversation, and smiled significantly at ' hie full of crockery. Rising promptly to his feet he made
rogarded him with calm severity, and her icy silence ma del each other when lighting their cigars. It meant fun for : a Pitch for the match safe, but happening to plant his foot
him feel uncomfortable. ; somebody. The farnnr, meantime, went on with Ids ac-' in a puddle of tho soft soap he promptly sat down in a tub
" Moggareck," he said thickly, but with grave earnest-! count of what he saw tho night before. The tricks wore i of preserved fruits. His poor tired wife, who had retired
"ALoggareck,7' (Mra. Bosbyschell' s front name is new and strange, but nothing in Ids estimation was equal ' unmy, "s romuu num uui- tuumutus, uuu uumaug tuuc,
ret) "I've hie I've gotta scotta quickened cos-! to the bottle-trick or the Bdurbon produced in other days. ; burglars were abroad, shrieked for help, to which the
Margaret) " I've hie I've gotta gotta quickened cos-1 to the bottle-trick or the Bourbon produced
hielsco." Hie conductor's friend now interrupted him.
"At what?" asked Sirs. Bosbyschell, in calm disdain.- "My friond," said he, " do you think you would .be able
"A quicked cpshioncc," repeated Mr. Bosbyspholl. f,A to recognize that brand of Bourbon if you were to taste
quicked coshience. A hie I've got something ommyi it again? I have been told that there is great deceit in
min', Maggart. I've gotto hic-cofiessiol codfossion liquors, so that a man rea does not know whether he
.gottacofTession.t'make." " , j gots the samo thing twice" or not."
"You can make it in the morning," she. said, imperi-j "Great Andrew Jackson! do I think I'd know it next
ously, " I am going to bed. You may sleep where you! time? Of course I do. You must think I can't trust my
please, or rather, where you Can." i own mouth. Why, one little snifter of that whisky would
"Naw," protested Mr. Bosbyschell, with much voho-; keep a good taste in a man's mouth for a week. You'd!
monce, "cau't cantwait; hie; cantgpt'sleop 'ith th.'sloach say tho same if you'd had a taste of it." ?
vunmy ommy mind. Got coflossion t'make, an mus' "it must have been good," said the conductor's inend,
pais' make it. Done suthni
a been a load ommy miud long
liv guilty secret 'round 'ith me
hired girl responded, rushing into the room and tumbling
headlong over the mau in the washtub. These are .the
naked facts in the case, and that is all there is of it., Oiif"
good friend did not say a word that could bo constructed
into profanity. He simply sat firmly and quietly among.,
the preserves until a light was struck, and then mildlyvih
quircd: "How much longer, dear, .does house-cleaning ;
last.- Ithaca Journal
The Chicago Glide on Boilers.
lence wonJ gimme won'gminvy uope-
', Moggart, hie been been! drawing a suspicious looking bottle irom ins pocket; "but, i buckled awy at a pair ot ska
timo. Been hie carry-; now, my friend, let me offer you something that is said by j toruoon. "Think, maybe, I
too long. Uuicked cosh- good judges to bo line hard to beat. 1 am not a .iiidgo ( know. And no threw into j
I i "11 n '
Mus' tell you. Sumpin', Mogert, sumpin' Jll s'priseyou..
"Mercy on mo man!" exclaimed Mrs. Bosbyschell,!
Startled from her composure, "what have you been doing? j
Tell me qu'idk, tell mo, for heaven's sake! " ;
'J Moggart," said Mr. Bosbyschell, "it's cumthiu' yej
nev hip never suspect suspeqtect. it'll mos lull ye.
Hie! S'peo' it'll n high drive ybCi-acy. Sawfiil t5 thiiik
Jbout it, Y y'wouldn' b'lievo it of me, Margart, y' yo
Avouldu'. I've been "
" Speak! " shrieked the -almost 'frantic woman, "I'm
tear her oy
Who' is she?" . . : . , j Tho cigars wore now smoked out, and the conductor
tWTli wli ltr! Whn'cli tlint" jnninnflorl ff lrvo nnrl his friAtlfl 1'lARrt t.n rffl intn mintlinini
I W 1 l V. II IV V- l"y v.w...Vi.VH..t Ml WWW- "-- ..- ...... VUv- w k,v, ...vV ....wv..W. VH.
"Thought I'd just try 'era, yor know," he said as he
tes in the rink yesterday af-''
might,be able to skate, yer .
tiis tone the nonclialahce of
him who seeketh to play green and lead a sucker into a;
I game of billiards. Then he stood up, and surely he was
! beautiful to look upon. Such delicate softness of creamy
That's ! tint in that exquisitely cut shirt-front, from which a gems
i of Alaska's famous mine flashed brilliantly : such an au-
Then the farmer at once entered into conversation with roate log-chain festooniug his vest from buttonhole to
the ownor Of tho bottle. There was excollent lishiug al- 1 pocket; and, on ! just such a darling little low-crowned, .
most any whore along tho Sound, and if the gentleman i mashed-in, lavender felt hat ! Then to see him move off
would only come out for a day's snortMio would find ' in that graceful glido. so calmlv ologaut. so easilv bediifi- ?
tfriends to assist; and, family, the owner of a bottlo of j full People stopped their warm work to look at him. .He ;
sugu whisky us uuu wouiu uiways oe weicomeci m ms scomea co icei cueir aamirmg eyes gioatmg on nis grace,
neighborhood. This whisky was excollent ; but still he for he changed his step into all the Intricacies of roller-; '
Ho liad veached tho far ond of tho great hall,
Pouring out a little, ho passed it over to the farmer
II was drank with evidont pleasure.
" That's like it it might be the samo sort,
suspense! Speak, tell mo, all, qiuqk! Qh, I could calculated thorn was none in tho country now equal to
fos out! Toll mo, you brute, what is. her name?: what no Had once tasted irom. a magician s bottlo.
byschell, in blank amazement.
"The woman, you wretch!' screamed his wife; "who
is the woman?"
"'Oh, shaw, Moggarl," ejaculated Mr. Bosbyschell.
"taur th hie that. Wusson that.
Hie. 'Smore crushin'. Ypur-hic, y'won
it hie w'en tell ye. Moggart
"Speak!" wailod the anxious womau, wringing her
hands, " speak; lot tno know tho worst ! What have you
been doing?" ' . '
"Let me oiler you another taste from my bottlo before
l go," said tho gentleman.
aud now ho came moving backward, his feet sailing in ar
tistic sinuosity. Every eye was on him every beauty-worshipping
eye of all that great crowd.
There stands in the hall a large fountain, with a great
"Perhaps your friends will ! basin filled with muddy water, and possessing a very low
run. The Uhicagoan was moving backward: he thought
.. .'. . - " ... - V-'j .
i. j .. l r
jfvy lb aiso ; '
r t .. . ,-.. t .
! liiey did oacn one try it, the spokesman ot tho party I not ot that iouutam ho oniyincroased his speed. Before
'Smore dreadful, being the last, it must have boon, good, ior they seemod a voice could bo raised to save so much oi tailors loveh-
'.t hardlv b'liovoi "well pleased, all hut tho last named mau : he Queued his . ness his heels had struck the fatal rim his arms flow out
. j w .
"Margart," said Mr, Bosbyspholl, solemnly, and with
the air of a man upon whom a quickened conscionco had
wrought its porfoot work, "Margart," ho said, nerving
himself for the shock of confession, "Margart, I've hie
t'vo been drinking ! "
Thoro was a dull,heavy sound, as tho ottoman caromed then bowed himself out;
on Mr. Bosbysoholl's head, and ho looked out from his
recumbent posture under the piano just in time to seo a
form robed in snowy white speed swiftly up the hall stairs
mouth in speochless misery. Another one then asked the in a wild grasp on ethor he cried out and the mucldy
gentleman nis.namo, waters wore moved.
"Groat CasarT gasped tho victim of misplaced confi-'
douco; "why that last sot mo all qu fire! What did he
say his naino was, John? hell or something? He's the
very chap I wont to see last night. I know he had a Bi
ble kind of a name, and tjht whisky just matches jt jrad
Amid tho roars of the smokers the conductor's
Threshing Floors in Spain.
They fished that young- mau out, aud they tried to de
tain him to hear their expressions of sympathy ; but, ho.
would not stay. Dripping from every shred, ho hastened
away, leavinga few hundred people convulsed with amuse
mont ovor tho idiosyncrasies of tho Chicago glide.
with an expression of disgust on its marble features. Andj Tho threshing floors is an institution of ancient times.
oin m .ino nuro s uesx no e oi uursiooKoaaownnr, mio, and s stm rornTed and USC( in s in in tl llaysof tho sc0110g onaoted tnoro twelve and fifteen yenw ago.
swinging gate, and peopod in at the sleeping figure guidon A cirolo somo tuilrfc root iu diametQr i5 kyoods and on tho hillsides and river bluffs inth
Tho Hichmond Battle-Fields. ;
Tho battle-fields around Richmond ara (piiot nioadows
now, reclaimed by nature, with fow signs of tho days ofr,
"blood and iron." At Cold Harbor, Fair Oaks, Seven.
Pines, and Malvern Hill one sees little of tho terrible
l,n nTnnTiMi.fl unnVfl ol' llm (Imivsv li-ill ln,,T ll.of- l.ml A WHluul" UUUIU BUIUU IUIUJT IUUU III UUllIlOlOr li J WOUUMIUU VII U1U UUIS1UCS. UUU riVOr UUJUS III U10 rCUUlt ,
SEZSSl'S k. fcripff. andjsuUi, whei-eno attempt has been made to cultivate the
j mo circumierenco uoruerea wicn goocuy stones, uver tho j land, sloping earthworks are stui to oe soon ; uufi eiso
I interior area, first well broken up by the pick, clay is ( whero tho entrenchmonts liave been lovoled. Bolow Po-.
, thickly spread and lovolod, and wator is turned ovor tho j torsburg there are fow traces oven of such formidable for-
! whole suriace, which is thon beaten smooth by heavy mal-: tuicatious as btoadman's, lloll and .Damnation. The
j lots and loftto dry in tho sun. These floors, which are j Crator and the fields arouud
! often the scones of great festivity, of moonlight dances i who was born close by, and
smollocWo muoh whisky it had burned itself out in a whis
ky fit, and tho sad, voiceloss spirit of tho night pat on the
front fonco and brooded with a tondor mystery' over the
devious ways of wayward, fallen man.
Wishing for Money.
uid the fields arouud it are owned by Mr. Griffith,
Kiib iiiiuuud i vn'.; ii uuiu wu.iu u.Vi iixiit vtua iu x uiuiauuiu wuuu tuu
and quiet houi-s of chat after tho day's labor is done, and I mine was iircd. Ho has built a house near tho Crator, and
' tho tired workmen throw themselves down on tlinnilnfl.un : now lms his father's furm nnrtnroxcGlmnfinnH.ivfitiion ' Tim
( I wish I had his money," said a young, hoarty-looking, sheafs to smoke their cigarettes, present, also at times of ; Crater itself has been loft almost untouched, and a thick
man, as a millionaire passed him in tho stroot. Aud so has; whoat-threshing as characteristic scones as any, perhaps, j underbrush of poach troos and sprouts has sprung up from
.mouuu iiuuiy u yoimu uwuio uuu, who uovqios so much to oo witnessed among tuoso primitivo husbandmon, tho pits thrown away by tho soldiers during the siege.
tune to wishing, but too little to working. But never First, tho harvest is brought in on old-fashioned lumber- Tho ravino whore the doad lay in groat heaps on tfyit-ter-does
one-of those draw a comparison botwoon their several vohiolos, and arranged in a hugo cirolo, several rows doop , riblo morning has been brought under tho plow year after
fortunes. Tho rich man's money looms up like a balloon! and as high as a man's head, around the area. Then, bo- i yoar, until now only a slight depression m tho field Can bo
boforo thorn, hiding uncounted cares and anxieties, from ginning at tho center, cirolo upon oirclo of sheaves are ! pointed out. Tho visitor has to pay twenty-fivocohfcs for
Which thoy are froo: keeping out of sjglrt those bodily ills laid, tho one tannine slicrhtlv inward and over the other, i n. n-lininsa of tho Crator aud tho interior of a shod stnakod
that luxury broods, and all tho mental horrors of ennui till tho whole nroa shows one mass of golden spray, fixed ' with battle relics.
.- IUJL t
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