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THE NATIONAL TBIBUNE: WASHINGTON, D, C, SEPTEMBER 24, 1881.
Augustus was a youth of noble mien,
Sophronia, fairest maiden ever seen.
He in the city reared, 'mid bricks and mortar
She in the country born a farmer's daughter.
They loved, and loved each other passing well;
And each would oft devotion's story tell
As they, two happy hearts, went wand'ring through
The mazy forest, seeking prospects new.
One day, while straying thus, on pleasure bent,
They reached a shady nook, where, well content,
They sat them down to rest, on grassy mound,
Beneath a stalwart oak with verdure crowned.
Dame Nature's music, rippling sweet and low
Upon the zephyrs breathing to and fro,
Touched tender cords within their throbbing hearts,
Set all aglow by prick of Cupid's darts.
"Sophronia, dost thou love me?" murmured he;
" You bet your life I do," responded she.
But as she spoke a sudden thrill of pain
Shot through her lover's heart and every vein.
He winced, grew pale. "Augustus, are you faint?"
Sophronia queried, while a fond restraint
She threw about his neck ('twas but an arm),
As if to shelter him from threatened harm.
"I I don't know," he faltered, growing white;
"There's something wrong I can't explain it quite
I feel it crawling, creeping o'er my knee."
"Don't mind it," said the fair one, " 'tis a (lea."
" No ! no ! " he eried, in accents full of fear,
"I have no fleas, and none are harbored here."
" 'Tis something -with a thousand pair of jaws,
All striving hard to fill their horrid maws."
Sophronia bent to kiss her lover's cheek,
But ere her task accomplished gave a shriek
That wakened startled echoes from their rest.
And kindled terror in her lover's breast.
"Oh-we! oh! ouch! I'm eaten up alive,"
She cried, till strength with fear no more could strive;
Then sobbed, "3Iy dress Augustus, and your pants
Good Lord ! we're sitting on a nest of ants ! "
E'en so it proved. The mound where rest was sought
Had been by Nature's little workers wrought,
And they who rested there in love's delight
For one brief season learned how ants can bite.
A BROKER'S MISTAKE,
The following story is told of Francis Drexel,
the father of the well-known Philadelphia bank
ers. Soon after the close of the war with Mexico
many Spanish and Mexican silver dollars found
their way into the United States, and were bought
up by the bankers and money dealers all over the
country. The price paid for them varied greatly,
according to the demand and supply and the con
dition of the pieces themselves. At the close of a
rainy day, during which Mr. Drexel then doing
a very modest business on Third street, Philadel
phia, as a money and exchange broker had been
a large buyer ef Mexican silver, and while he was
engaged in recounting his purchases preparatory
to settling his cash account, the door of his bank
ing house was suddenly opened by a plainly
dressed man, who exclaimed: "I only have one
hundred left; do you want them?"
Mr. Drexel, without raising his head, replied:
" I'll give you fifty cents for them."
"No," said the man, " I've sold all the others at
seventy-five cents, and only a hundred left."
Mr. Drexel replied: "I have bought them all
day at sixty cents, and if yours have no holes in
them I will take them at the same price, and that
is the most you can get for them."
"I never saw any with holes in them," said the
" Didn't you ? " said Mr. Drexel. " Half of what
we get are full of holes, where they have been
used as buttons."
The man scratched his head a moment, and
then said : " Very well : I'll bring them in right
Five minutes afterward he appeared with a
small tin kettle, and walking up to the counter,
said: ' "Where shall I put them?"
"Pour them out here," said Mr. Drexel, indi
cating a particular spo't on the counter.
" I can't," said the seller, " they will slip off on
Mr. Drexel, without withdrawing his attention
from the counting of his purchases of the day,
called to his son Frank to " bring a tray." "When
the tray was brought, it was found to have a large
crack across it, to which the man strenuously ob
jected, saying, "They will all fall through." This
nettled old Mr. Drexel, who, in rather sharp words,
told him, " That tray has held thousands and thou
sands of them every day," and furthermore, in
peremptory terms, bade him "pour them out,
Accordingly, the kettle was raised to the level
of the counter, and one hundred fat, raw oysters
were poured into the cracked tray, much to the
chagrin and disgust of the banker and his son,
the former of whom exclaimed, "Why, those are
oysters ! "
""Well," said the oysterman (who knew nothing
of Mexican silver), " what the d did you think
During a course of lectures on " Grammar," the
sentence, " Mary milks the cow," was given out to
the class to he parsed. Each word had heen parsed
save one, which fell to Boh L , a sixteen-year-old,
near the foot of the class, who commenced
thus: "Cow is a noun, feminine gender, singular
numher, third j)erson, and stands for 3Fary.':
"Stands for Mary!" said the excited professor.
"How do you make that out?" "Because," an
swered the nohle pupil, " if the cow didn't stand
for Mary, how could J fan mill: her''' Harper's
In the Sandwich Islands the natives are ex
cellent barbers, but know, or did know, nothing
of wigs. A man from England went into a
Kanaka barber's shop to get shaved, and after
the shave the barber, as a matter of course, pro
ceeded to shampoo the customer. The customer
had dropped asleep in the chair and didn't notice
what was up, and when the barber started in on
the shampoo and the customer's wig came off in
the poor fellow's hands, leaving a perfectly bald
head, he thought he had yanked the man's scalp
off, and with a howl of terror fled. And his as
sistants fled also and stayed in the woods a week,
not daring to take the responsibility of their
awful deed. Boston Pont.
A dying Irishman was asked by his confessor
if lie Avas ready to renounce the devil and all his
works. "Oh, your honor," said Pat, "don't ask
me that; I am going to a strange country, and I
don't intend to make myself enemies."
Reunion Notes continued from 5th page.
The Soldiers' Reunion held at Cincinnati, 0.,
last week is said to have been a great disap
pointment. Eain fell steadily on the loth, and
completely drowned out all the general exercises.
A number of interesting regimental and brigade
Reunions were held, and the Mexicau veterans
held a business meeting and re-elected their
The veteran soldiers' parade moved at twelve
o'clock, and in spite of the muddy streets and
the fact that it had been announced that no
parade would be made, was of considerable mag
nitude. It was headed by a detachment of police,
then followed Marietta battery Ohio National
Guards, the First regiment of Ohio National
Guards, then Mexican veterans, and then the
skeletons of regiments of the soldiers of the late
Avar. They were in citizen's dress, wearing only
badges to indicate their regiment or corps. They
bore no arms, of course, but at close intervals
they carried the tattered battle-flags which had
been borne by them through the war.
The line of march required nearly two hours,
and the streets were covered with soft mud.
There was no means of giving full notice of the
time the procession would start, or that it would
start at all, still the word was passed from one to
another and a procession was formed which,
marching four abreast at a good swinging gait,
required thirty-five minutes to pass. Every
where the streets were lined with sympathetic
and cheering multitudes. Ladies, often with
tearful eyes, waved welcome to the survivors of
the war. The veterans responded with cheers as
they passed, but talking in the ranks was the
rule. Just before reaching the point for disband
ing Gov. Foster and staff on horseback reviewed
the procession. It was two o'clock when the pro
cession disbanded, and this practically closed the
Reunion. It was not as successful as anticipated.
The rain is responsible for a good deal of disap
pointment, but there was more lethargy among
the citizens than should have existed, which had
a tendency to weaken the hands of the managers.
Among the many regiments and companies
which held their Reunions at Cincinnati, were
SECOND OHIO INFANTRY ASSOCIATION.
This Association was formed in 1877, out of the
survivors of the "Old Second," one of Cincinnati's
prides, Colonel Len A. Harris commanding. This
regiment was organized at Camp Dennison, and
took the field in Septemher, 1861, moving across
the Ohio hack of Covington, organizing and es
tahlishing camp King. Many of her hravest offi
cers were from Cincinnati, among whom we might
mention Captain James Warnock, Captain Har
rell (killed at Perryville, Ky., Octoher 8, 1862),
Captain Fotteral, Harrell's successor, killed at
Resacca, Georgia, May 14, 1864 ; Lieutenant Gus
Fisher, Major B. F. Miller, Surgeon of the regi
ment, Ira A. Bird, Quarteimaster, and a host of
Cincinnati's hest men. The Old Veterans elected
the following officers to serve the ensuing year :
President, Major James H. Sarratt, Steuhen
ville; Vice-President, Captain Milton H. McCoy,
Pickaway; Secretary, S. B. Porter, Columbus;
Treasurer, "SY. S. Randall, Goshen; Executive
Committee, H. D. Worthington, J. H. Sarratt,
Joseph Elliott, "VY. H. Brady, Thomas Brown, all
of Jefferson county.
It was agreed to hold the next Reunion at
Steubenville, Ohio, in 1S81.
TWENTY-SIXTH KENTUCKY VOLUNTEERS.
At a meeting of the officers and soldiers of the
Twenty-sixth Kentucky Volunteer Infantry,
held in the lobby of the Hotel Emery, Septem
ber 15, 1S81, R. E. Hacket, Lieutenant-Colonel,
was called to the chair, and S. D. Brown, Adju
tant, was made Secretary. Steps were then taken
toward forming a permanent association.
At a meeting of forty surviving members of
the Twelfth Regiment O. V. I., held in room No.
5, Hamilton county court-house, a permanent
organization was effected, and the following offi
cers elected : President, Lloyd Stockman ; Vice
President, Samuel Yeoton ; Secretary and Treas
urer, George A. Stivers ; Corresponding Secretary,
Wm. D. Nesbit.
The society will hold its first Reunion at Mor
row. "VYarren county, Ohio, September 14, 1882.
The Fifty-ninth Ohio held quite an interesting
reunion at their headquarters at the Bellevue
House yesterday morning, some forty members
of the regiment participating. Officers of the
organization present were Dr. A. B. McKee,
President ; L. S. Molen, Secretary. The place se
lected for the next annual Reunion is Bethel,
Clermont county, Ohio. Officers elected for en
suing year: Major R. J. Vanosdol, President;
Captain "Wm. Johnson, Vice President; Mack
Frazier, Secretary ; Piner Hill, Treasurer ; and
Leroy Frazier, Marshal. Post-office address of
President and Secretary, Bethel, Ohio.
A PLEASANT INCIDENT,
General N. A.M. Dudley, U. S. A., formerly of
the Nineteenth Corps, was met at Faneuil Hall,
Boston, Monday forenoon, September 5, by some
600 of his former military associates, including
General Banks and many other prominent offi
cers, Avho, after a warm greeting, formed a pro
cession and inarched to Raine's Wharf, where a
boat was taken for Downers Landing. Governor
Long and other invited guests joined the com
pany there, where a dinner, speech-making, and
the presentation of a gold corps badge by the sur
viving members of his old command Avere the
features of the occasion.
A TEMPERANCE SERMON.
If for u stomach uche you tuelie
Each time some whiskey, it will break
You down and meak you sheak and quachc,
And you will see a horrid snac-he.
Much whiskey doth your wits beguile.
Your breath defuile, yourself make vuile ;
You lose your style, likewise your pyle,
If you ere whyle too often smuile.
But should there be, like now, a drought,
"When water and your strength gives ought,
None will your good name then malign
If you conflgn your drink to wign.
H. C. Dodge in Xorristoim Herald.
4 IIVIARI An attempt has been
I Jill 1 II IN have published the
UnU I I " 11 leclrc on we
DR. SCOTT'S ELECTRIC HAIR'BRUSH
Gents: T hnvo
llGVer beforn srivon a.
3 testimonial. hnt.nTTi win.
iu fcu tsiiiiorcrnfTA r.np noa
of an honest remedy. lam
SO Pleased WfMl vnni. TToii.
Brush thafc T tiam it. mr
to write you recommending ft
mOSt COrdiallv. Mv hfllr nhnnf. a.
Tear SinGS. (nmmPTlCnil -enlllncT nnf
and I was rapidlv becoming bald: but
Since USiTl? f.tin 'RniqTl fl. hlTr rrrvnY. nP
hair has mafln it.s nxinwiTrmpa nnifn onuol
to that which I had Drevinnn tn ifa -fniHiio
out. I have tried other remedies, hut. wtt.h Tin
success. After this remartahlo rocmit. T rmr-
Chased One for mv Wife. Whn hn "hann n pro-it
ferer from headache, and she finds it n nromnt
infallible remedy. A. C. Bridjreman,
"Z would Hot take
llf I conld not replace it. Its effect la marvellous."
Mr. Smith ig a gentleman well fcnowa in this
fuuuuxutttiiiuuuus uixtevtr xors.
DR. 1T70. A . SPriTf Tll.nr SUfm 13Amtt- vAtrk
Have been benefited by the use of vnTirTnnt,rln'Rrnsh. ShfihasforvearshfifinaHufrererfromNenraleiainan
acute form, but since I obtained for her one of
her sincere thanks.
Over 7,000 similar
TAKE NO OTHER.
See that name is on the box.
by express. C. O.
Mention this Paper.
tain one for you,
As soon as von receive the Brush. If not well satisfied with vour barcaln. write us. and we will return the money.
The Proprietors of this Publication know Dr. Scott
twoper ana postmaster james or JNew xonr, as
Remittances should be made payable to GEO. A. SCOTT. Brpadway, New York. Thev can ba made in Checks, Drafts, Post OfSce
Orders, Currency, or Stamps. Ltbkbai. Discount to thu Tkade. Agents Wanted in every Town.
A Send for a Circular of our Dr. ScotVs Electric Flesh Brush.
FREE TO EVERYBODY !
A BEAUTIFUL HOOK FOR THE ASKING!
By applying personally at the nearest office of THE
SINGER 3IANTJFACTUR1NG CO. (or by postal card if
at a distance,) any adult person will be presented with a
beautifully illustrated copy of a New Book entitled
STORY OF THE SEWING MACHINE
containing a handsome and costly steel engraving frontis
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charge whatever is made for this handsome book, which
can be obtained only by application at the branch and
subordinate offices of The Singer Manufacturing Co.
The Singer Manufacturing Co.
Principal Office, 34 Umon Square,
THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE,
The Best Eight Page Weekly
Journal in the Country,
ONLY OXE PUBLISHED AT THE NATIONAL CAPITAL
EXCLUSIVELY IN THE INTERESTS OF THE
S0LDIEI1S AND SAILOHS.
Interesting Reading Matter for the Family and Home
Circle on every page.
STORIES OF THE WAR,
POEMS, ANECDOTES, &c,
IN EACH NUMBER.
A Sample Copy sent to any address upon request.
flST-Be sure and give full name, post-office, and State.
Address all communications to
THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE,
WASHINGTON, D. C.
Von Laer Perfect Binders
For Periodicals, Pamphlets, Music, etc. No holes
punched. No needles used. Papers removed and re
placed any number of times without the slightest muti
lation or interference with the balance of the tile. Has
the appearance of a full bound volume. Binders put up
to suit any publication with the proper title. Name of
owner, if desired, embossed on back free of charge.
When volume is complete it may be removed and bound
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free of express charges. Binders for National Tribune,
52 numbers, one year, leather backs and corners, paper
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Order, and save your tiles from further mutilation.
E. L. LAMBIE, Sole Manufacturer and Agent,
Lock-Box 300. ' G2G K St., Washington, D. C.
CTliniiLj 1..U1MI ..... iil.ii ..'" '.. ill
made to put so-called" JilcctroMagnciic11 Brushes vmn the
company as a fraud. We therejore caution the Public to be
Brush, ours is not wire, quo u, puro urusue isrusn.
milch haswon its way to Royal favor in England, been cordially Indorsed by theFrincoand Prln-
M cessoi waies,nu m t-u uuu,
v of the American public. It cures by
n va remeoy lasting iormany years, it should be used daily in piac0 of tbo ordinary Hair
Jfc Brush. The Brush Handle is made of a new odorless comDosiHnn etZZJZTn
combination of substances PRODUCING AraffiNEOTnrSRh
fa HAIR GLANDS AND FOiMCjfiSsT SBSiSlgSSSS
C . a sUvercomnasa which accomDanies each Bnih.caaaiwaysD0teateU1,y
$1,000 fox mv Brush
PIiIN Y F. SMITH, 218 Fulton Street, N. Y.
CSty as a Law Publisher, and also as a Director in several
Head Office "Domestic "Sewing Machine Co., New Yora.
o Yia tnotlmnnw nfmirmifn rtffiot et tlio mfflnvftfTlOM whn
your Brushes, she has experienced entire relief. Please accept
HENKT Bartlett. .
Testimonials can le seen at our office.
A BEAUTIFUL BEUSH. MWb.
We will send it on trial, postpaid, on receipt of $3.00, which will be
returned if not as represented.
Inclose 10 cents extra and 'we truarantep pnf deliverv Into vour hands : or "Prill send
D.. at your expense, with privilege of opening and examining.
ugo aaas consiaeramy to your cost, ur request your nearest uruggisi or
and be sure Dr. Scott's name is on the Box.
MONEY RETURNED IF NOT AS REPRESENTED.
to be respectable and trustworthy, a Brush has been placed
a guarantee or gooa laitn.
! PATENTS !
GEORGE E. LEMON"
WASHINGTON, D. C,
Attorney -at-Law and Solicitor of
United States and Foreign
Established in 18G,.
CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT?
Send a rough sketch or (if you can) a model of your
invention to Georgk E. Lfjiox, AVashington, D. C,
and a Preliminary Examination will be made of all
United States Patents of the same class of inventions,
and you will be advised whether or not a patent can be
For this Preliminary Examination Xo Charge is Made
WHAT WILL A PATENT COST?
If you are advised that your invention is patentable,
send 20, to pay Government application fee of $15, and
$5 for the drawings required by the Government. This
amount is payable when the application is made. This
is all of the expense, unless a patent is allowed. When
allowed the attorney's fee ($25) and the final Government
fee ($20) is payable.
By these terms you know beforehand, for nothing,
whether you are going to get a patent or not, and no
attorney's fee is charged unless you do get a patent.
An attorney whose fee depends on his success in obtain
ing the patent will not advise you that your invention
is patentable, unless it really is patentable, so far as his
best judgment can aid in determining the question;
hence, you can rely on the advice given after a prelimi
nary examination is had.
DESIGN PATENTS anil the REGISTRATION OF
LABELS and TRADE-MARKS secured.
CAVEATS prepared and filed.
Applications for the REISSUE OF PATENTS care
fully ami skillfully prepared and promptly prosecuted.
Applications in revivor of rejected, abandoned, or for
feited cases made. Very often valuable inventions are
saved in these classes of cases.
If you have undertaken to secure your own patent
and failed, a skillful handling of the wise may lead to
success. Send me a written request addressed to the
Commissioner of Patents that he recognize George E.
Lemon, of Washington, D. C, as your attorney in the
case, giving the title of the invention and about the date
of filing your application. An examination will be made
of the case, and you will be informed whether or not a
patent can be obtained. This examination and report
will cost you iothing.
Interference Contests arising within the Patent
Office between two or more rival claimants to the same
subject-matter of invention, attended to.
Appeal Remedies pursued in relief from adverse
Searches made for title to inventions.
Copies of Patents furnished at the regular Govern
ment rates, (25 cents each, if subsequent to 1S66. Pre
vious patents, not printed, at cost of making copies.)
Copies of Official Records furnished.
Opinions rendered as to scope, validity, and infringe
ment of Patents.
In fact, any information relating to Patents and to
property rights in inventions promptly furnished on the '
most reasonable terms.
Remember this office has been in successful operation
since 1865, and you therefore reap the benefits of experi
Reference given to actual clients in almost every coun
ty in the United States.
Address, with stamp for reply,
GEORGE E. LEMON,
WASHESxGTOX, D. C.
CHEAP HOMES FOR ALL!
50,000 Ztaborers can get Immediate Employment, at Good USTages
on Farms and Railroads in Texas alone.
THE SOUTH-WESTERN IMMIGRATION CO.
Will mail on application, free of coat, postage prepaid, books with maps, giving reliable Information oc
Texas, AriKmsas, or Western Louisiana. Those medltatlnga change to a new country, please adaxaw
J. N. VICTOR, Masters Manager, 243 Broadway, New York. B. 8. DOTAL, 8eey, Aastlc, ttu
Jforclgn Office; WM. W, LANQ, Frea., LcaOcnhail House, Leadenhall Strett, London, E. C, Eng.
market, but the Post-OMce authorities at Washinaton
careful that "Dr. Scott's" name is on the box and
SUCCESS ! !
BY OUR BEST PHYSICIANS.)
x.uon. .is. Gladstone, Is now brought to tlio notice
natural means. -win niwna, Ji ?ZZ":" .,;,
I - m.j ij fciLMJVi. AlUWtlA K1LIA.LU.M UX1LL i3
J.X IS tYAKKAWFPTI 1M
mim .... jlvt
Care fltervpHS Headache in 5 Minutes IS!
Bilious Headache in ft nTinntAnll
Neuralgia in 5 Minutes 1 1
Prevent Falling Hair and Baldness I !
Dandruff and Diseases of the Scalp I 1
Promptly Arrests Premature Oraynessl!
'Makes the ilair'grW Loilg and (jlossyTl
Immediately Soothes the Weary Brain 1 1
Money returned if not as represented 1 1
it rarely fa! Is to produce
a rapid growth of hair
on bald heads, where the
glands and follicles are
not totally destroyed.
uxjLonaon. Aowlork Branch: Broadwav.l
From the Mayor of Saratoga.
"I cheerfully testify to the merits of
Dr. Scott's Electric Hair Brush.
It cures my headaches within a
few minutes. I am so pleased
With it I purchased another
lor my wue. it is an ex
cellent Hair Brush,
fy well worth the price,
wJL. aside from its cu-
"What can bs fairer?
in the hands of Mayor
Answers to Correspondents.
We are obliged to answer certain inquiries of the same
nature in each issue of our paper. While we cheerfully
furnish information to subscribers in this column, we
suggest that much labor, time, and expense may be saved
both to ourselves and to our correspondents, if the latter
and other subscribers would keep a file of the paper.
They could then, at any time, turn to the file and proba
bly find the very inquiry answered about which they
would liave written to us. We trust that each and every
subscriber will profit by this suggestion.
F. E., Dayton, Ohio. If you wish a position hi
the General Post Office here your letter should be
directed to the First Assistant Postmaster-General,
who has charge of the appointment office.
T.3L,St. Paul , Mixx. Yes; Quartermaster-General
Meigs was in office during the entire war of the
rebellion and is Q. M. General now. We do not
know his exact age. hut believe it is about sixty-five.
G. B.. Easton. Pa. If you wish to take out a pat
ent, see advertisement on last page of this paper.
W. W., Lancaster, Pa. A party purchasing a
soldier's discharge cannot secure an allowance or
privilege thereon; the discharge cannot he made
available in obtaining land from the Government.
j H. M., Tekke Haute, Ind. If you are phys
ically unable to report for examination, your attend-
ing or other physician should make an affidavit to
that effect. Upon forwarding the affidavit to the
j Commissioner of Pensions, he will provide for your
examination at home. Your pension, when allowed.
' will be paid to you all at one time.
R. S., Springfield, III. The law provides that
every officer, soldier, sailor, and marine who, in the
line of duty in the military or naval service of the
United States shall have lost a limb, or sustained
bodily injuries depriving him of the use of any of
his limbs, shall receive once every five years an ar
tificial limb or appliance, or commutation therefor.
Application should be made to the Surgeon-General
of the Army in this city.
C. D., Cairo, III. The mother of a deceased sol
dier, in order to obtain a pension, must prove that
she Avas wholly or in part dependent upon him for
support at the date of his death, and that he left
neither widow nor minor child surviving him.
G. K., Kansas Citv, Mo. If the widow, who has
filed her claim for arrears of pension and since died,
left minor children surviving her, they can recover the
arrears through their legally-appointed guardian,
but no other heirs can inherit the allowance. This
is Commissioner Bentley's ruling.
J. W. W. Rome, N. Y. In regard to locating a
homestead, you should address the Commissioner of
the General Land Office, in this city, who will fur
nish full information. You do not require his name
and city address.
C. W. B., Worcester, Mass. Pay stopped by sen
tence of courts-martial cannot be recovered.
K. V. M., Pittskield, Mass. The widow is enti
tled to arrears of pension from the date of her hus
band's discharge up to the date from which he com
menced to draw, provided he was disabled in a pen
sionable degree during said period.
C. M., Boston. Mass. Twenty -four dollars a
month is the full amount of pension allowed by law
for the loss of an arm at or above the elbow, or a leg
at or above the knee, unless indeed the log be ampu
tated at the hip joint, in which case the rating is
v Kemaining answers next week.
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