The National tribune. [volume], August 26, 1882, Page 6, Image 6

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THE NATIONAL TEIBTJNB: WASHINGTON, D. C, AUGUST 26, 1882.
AT WAR.
Through the larpc, stormy splendors of the night,
"Whoa clouds made war, and spears of mooniight
trove
To jMuiotrntc their serried ranks and prove.
That Mronger than the darkness was the light,
Yet failed before the fctorm-cloud's gathering
nn'Kht,
I heard a voiee cry, " Strong indeed is Love,
But Stronger Fate and Death, who hold abovo
Tlieir pitiless high court in Love's despite."
Storm-oloud met s-torm-cloud, reeled, and shook,
and fled
Tlio old earth trembled at their mighty raxe
TiM suddenly, a lark Ming clear o'crhead,
As if to share Ins joy he did engage
All earth ami heaven ; and Wight's wild war was
done,
And Love and Morning triumph with the sun.
TSB STORY OP A MODEL.
WRIT! EN FOR THE NATIONAL TRIOUNC BY K. G. C.
'Married, by the Rev.
, at tbe resi-
, George
fair bride is
deuce of the bride's mother, in -
to Fannie . The
one of tbe loveliest daughters of tbe pretty
little village of , and the groom one of
1hi' rising young farmers of tbe county.
The hearty congratulations of a host of
inends attend tlje happy couple on their
wedding trip to tbe mountains of Tennessee,
wheie tbe brides only brother, a soldier of
tbe Michigan cavalrj-, married and
settled at the close of tbe war."
Duriug the summer of 1S79 I was engaged
on a Louisville daily paper, and, following
a natural bent, was a frequenter of artists'
studios, of which there were quite a number
in the city. Onu of them, who has since
grown famous hy the execution of a chef
i'u nitc in iigure painting, had on the easel
then a scese representing one of tbe god
desses near a running stream, clothed, like
Godiva, in nothing but her long hair and
chastity. He was sorely perplexed by the
lack of a model, and time and again set tbe
picture -with its face to tho wall, when the
nymph's fresh color sunk into the c:mvas
and the spiders connected it by a finely
spun web with with a plaster cast of Apollo
overhead. Ho had many lady friends, to
whom he confided his trouble, and they all
pitied but would not aid him. One was
willing to contribute an arm and another a
foot and ankle, and perhaps the least bit of a
calf, while yet another, in the exhuberance
of her generosity and boundless love for art,
promised :is much of a bust as she was wont
to contribute to the attractions of a gernian
or a Friday night at Macauley'a. It was in
vain that the artist pleaded for more light
upon the subject He represented that what
lie needed most was the proportions of the
female form, and suggested that the sitter
might remain veiled in such a manner that
recognition would be impossible; but to no
purpose; the beauties were deaf to all en
treaties. Entering his studio one day I found the
artist busily engaged upon the long-neglected
picture. He had painted out a hand and
shortened the right arm half a finger length.
This arm had been a bone of contention be
tween the artist and myself for a long time,
and it pleased me to find that be had yielded
io my suggestions. Another glance repealed
other changes, and I at once suspected. the
assistance of a model. He stoutly asserted
that he had none, but tho picture grew in
beauty and perfection of outline. He ex
hibited photographs of nude figures and out
lines drawn in crayon on huge sheets of
paper, as he declared, by ladies who were
interested in the progress of the work, in
the privacy of their own apartments. I was
fain to content myself with this explana
tion, but only half accepted it. It was
observed about this time that the pla
card "Gone to lunch" upon his door re
mained in position mucb longer than usual
during these days, aud fears were freely ex
pressed by the artist's friends that he was
lingering longer over his beer than was good
for him, and I remember that I had seriousi
thoughts of remonstrating with him upon
the growth of a habit whichwould be likely
to impair the usefulness of any but news
paper men.
I bad been out of town for a week, when,
on my return, my first thought was to visit
the studio and see how " Diana " for she
had been christened recently was pro
gressing, itusning up the staircase two
steps at,a time, I found the familiar placard
upon the door, but on turning the knob tbe
door opened noiselessly, and I entered.
Hearing a noise in the dressing room, which
I supposed was being made by the art
ist, I walked towards it and stood in the
presence of the model. She saw me and
uttered a scream, at tbe same time catching
up some article of attire to shield her form.
I had only time to warn her not to mention
my presence and make my escape before
the artist re-entered his studio, which ho
had left for only a moment, forgetting" to
fasten the door. I had, in the few seconds
in which I had been in the presence of the
model, recognized her features as a boarder
in the house where I took my inealsa mod
est, pretty girl, who made her living color
ing photographs. She was highly regarded
by the excellent woman who kept the
house, and hy the lady boarders, whose
husbands, although they greatly admired the
youthful artist, received no encouragement
to linger in the little hall room which she
used as a studio and bedroom combined.
"When I went to dinner that evening she
was not at the table, and in answerto my
query if she had left the house, I was told
that the was in her room, but had not come
down. Returning late from my office, I
found her in the hall awaiting my arrival.
She was calm but her eyes bore traces of
tears. She came forward at once and
asked me if I had mentioned to any one the
occurrence of the morning. I told her I
had not; that it was her secret, which be
longed to her as much as any other thing
she possessed ; that it had come to me sur
xepticiously, although not intentionally so,
and that she need not let it worry her. She
said she would explain fully on the follow
ing day. All this was said hurriedly, and
as we separated I told her I would meet her
in the parlor after breakfast.
This is the story she related,tas nearly in
her own words as I can remember them :
"When I was a little girl, so small as
scarcely to remember him, my only brother
went away from our home in Michigan and
joined the army. The war was raging in
the South, and in one of the battles in Ten
nessee my brother was wounded and left at
a farm-house to die. It was a wild, desolate
region, and his regiment, being cavalry,
marched-on, leaving him among strangers.
There were no mails aud no means of let
ting his parents know what had befallen
him. It happened that the family into
whose hands he fell were Union people.
They were very poor; the man was kept in
hiding most of the time to avoid raiding
parties of rebel guerillas who were hunting
his life. There were no physicians near,
and there seemed little prospect of my poor
brother's recovery. Tbe surgeon had ampu
tated his leg and bound up the bleeding
stump, but bad departed immediately, leav
ing directions for future dressing of the
wound. The women of the house, rude, un
cultivated people, wero as kind to the
stranger guest as they could be and the eldest
daughter nursed him continually. It is not
strange that my brother lost his heart com
pletely to his nurse or that, woman like, she
loved him for loving her, and that as soon as
he could stand with the support of crutches
the two were married.
" When the war closed he wrote his par
ents of his adventures and, as ho was very
poor, begged them to go and visit him. My
father, who was also a poor man, complied
with his son's request as soon as he could
raise the necessary means, and on his return
told us of the destitute condition ot my
brothers family.
"Thereafter it came to be the greatest
pleasuro of our lives to divide with him the
scanty earnings of our little iarm, and as
soon as I was old enough I commenced teach
ing school that 1 might add to the donation.
My father died a few years later and my
mother sold the farm and removed to the
little village where I taught the district
school, and but for the repeated calls tor
assistance from our poor maimed brother
we would have got along comfortably. I
was soon after engaged to be married to a
young man whose father had purchased our
farm and given it to him, and the prospect
of returning to the house where I was born
was very pleasant to me and my mother.
I determined beore my marriage that I
would visit my brother. My lover and I
talked the matter over, and he concluded
that after we wore married ho would not
like to have me leave him, and he could not
afford to go snch a distance with me. I had
added considerably to my income by color
ing photographs, and getting my littlo hoard
together I found that I could pav my fare
both ways and have a hundred dollars left
to expend in presents for my brothers
family. I think no girl ever set out from
home with more joyous anticipation of a
pleasant visit than I did. T had never
been further from home than Detroit,
but I had studied tho route on railroad
maps and in school atlases until I was
familiar with ever- mile of the way. I had
no difficulty in reaching my brother, whose
outstretched arms were waiting to embrace
me. I was received with a noisy welcome
by tho houseful of boys and girls, who
seemed to regard me as an angel, and as a
sister by my brother's wife. I opened my
bundles of presents, and the happiest day of
my life was that on which I heard their ex
pressions of gratitude. I gave my brother
all the money I had in the world, except
enough to buy my ticket home from Chat
tauooga, the nearest point on tho railroad,
and a few dollars with whieh to supply
meals along the route, and after a visit of a
month started home to my mother and the
dear, faithful fellow whom I loved now more
than' when I left home.
"I could not afford to travel in a sleeping
car, but having a whole seat to myself,
doubled my wraps up for a pillow, and slept
soundly until morning. "When we changed
cars at Nashville a new conductor came on
th entrain and called for our tickets. I looked
in my traveling bag for the littlcenvelope
containing my ticket, and it was gone. I
searched everywhere for it, but no trace of
it was found. The conductor had, in the
meantime, passed on, leaving me to continue
the search. "When he came back I was cry
ing bitterly. Thoughts of being ignomini
ously expelled from the car had full posses
sion of my mind. The conductor questioned
me closely as to where I lived, where I had
been, and where I was going, and ended the
investigation by passing me free to Louis
ville. "When I got here I found that I had one
dollar and eighty cents, a stranger in a
strange laud. I had not written my mother
of my departure from my brother's house,
and she would not be expecting me. So I
left my trunk at the depot, and started out
to find a cheap boarding house where I could
stay a few days until I could gather my wits
together and think. I came here and told
my story, and dear Mrs. took me in. 1
sent for my trunk, and the next day started
out to look for work. It was a fruitless
hunt. There seemed to bo no room for me.
1 went at last to a photographer and asked
to be employed coloring photographs. Ho
gave me one upon which to test my skill,
and I spent tho remainder of iny money in
paints and brushes. To my great joy he ex
pressed satisfaction with my work, and gave
me a dozen to color, but the price was so low
as to barely enable me to pay my board.
Through some freak, I do not know how to
account for it, I did not give my proper
name when I first came here. The name
you lenow me by is my mother's maiden
name. You are ready to ask why, in my ex
tremity, I did not acquaint my mother with
my necessities or write my intended hus
band. My mother had no money to send
me, and would have been greatly distressed.
My lover would have been greatly embar
rassed, even if he could have raised the
money to send me. I knew all tho circum
stances, and determined to work my way
out. I knew, however, that they would
soon be anxious about me, as I had written
every week during my absence, and now I
wrote telling the exact truth, but begged
them not to deprive themselves of means
that they bad ample use for, a8 I could soon
earn enough money to purchase a ticket
home. Time passed on, aud I had not accu
mulated a cent. My shoes wore out, and I
was obliged to replace them, but I bought
no other article of clothing. Meantime,
letters came regularly from home, all of
which I answered as cheerfully as possible.
"One day while in the gallery a gentle
man approached me, introduced by the
photographer sis an oil painter. He said he
bad a studio in the city, and if I wpuld
come to see him be could cive me more
remunerative work than I was now doing.
I was delighted at the prospect and called
next day. I found him painting upon a
nude figure of a woman, the first I had ever
seen. I passed it with averted face, for I
thought he would not have been engaged
upon it if ho had expected me. To my
surprise he called me to him and said: 'I
wish you- would fake a good look at this
picture and'eriticise it; I have no model.' I
took my stand before it ; I know my cheeks
were aflame, for I felt them burning. 'I did
not know what to criticise, for T had never
seen any other form than my own, and of
course I had not studied that closely. Then
he unfolded the plan he had in view. I was
to be his model. I was to stand as that
figure stood, upon a raised platform while
he sat before his easel and transferred to
canvas every line and curve of my form
and the color of my flesh.
" I was too deeply insulted for tears or
reproaches. I felt humiliated and disgraced,
and turned without a word to leavo the
room. Before I got to the door he said :
'You shall not be injured in any way; I
will never approach nearer you than from
here to that platform, and I vail give you
five dollars a day for twenty days.' I heard
every word of it, but made no answer. I
opened the door and walked in a dazed way
down the stairs. I seemed on the point of
fainting. The cool air of the street revived
me, and I went back to my boarding house
more angry than I had ever been in my life
before.
" I found two letters on my table, one from
mother and the other from George. My
dear mother bad been for inany years a
martyr to rheumatism. One of her hands
was drawn almost clear around by the
paroxysms of pain through which she had
passed. We had no hired girl, and now she
was unable to take care of herself, and I,
who had always been her nurse and cook,
was hundreds of miles away. I opened the
otuer letter, expecting to find the money in
it to take me to my mother's bedside. It
was not there. He had been to my mother'.-? j
house and found her ill. and be, too, urged i
upon me to come home, but his letter con- !
rained no hint as io where the money was
to come from to pay my way..
" I was indignant at the man who professed
to love me, and yet who had so little regard
for my feelings as to acquaint me with my
mother's need for me, and yet offer me
no assistance.
"It was therefore useless to write to
him. My brother had spent the little I had
given him in repairing his bouse, and no
relief could come from that quarter. I
was almost insane with desire to be with
my mother. I tossed from side to side of
my bed that night, a prey to the most har
rowing thoughts. In fancy I saw my mother
stretched upon her bed, within sight of the
provisions that sho was unable to rise and
cook for her daily subsistence, slowly
starving to death. Then the words of tho
artist came back to my recollection : 'You
shall not be injured in anyway. Iwill
never approach nearer you than from here
to that platform, and I will give you live
dollars per day for twenty days.'
" I had no sooner repeated the hateful words
over to myself than I spurned myself for
even remembering them. No, I could not
humiliate myself in thai! way. Then came
the thought of my mother and of her suf
ferings and of my utter helplessness, of my
lover's selfishness. In proportion as my love
for her increased and my anxiety rose to
fever heat my aversion for him intensified
until itvgrow to hatred. Towards morning,
worn out with conflicting emotions, I fell
into a troubled sleep, but arose refreshed.
Youth and health assorted themselves, and
I went to my breakfast feeling that the die
was cast. 'After breakfast I went back to
the studio, carrying with me my mother's
letter. Somehow I felt that it would be a
protection to mo in the trying ordeal to
which her daughter was to be subjected.
I found the artist alone, and without speak
ing handed him the letter. He read it care
fully while i watched his countenance. He
was visibly impressed by its contents, and
as he handed it back to me said: 'As God,
before whom wo must both stand, is my
witness, you shall be treated by me as if
you were a marble model instead of flesh
and blood.' I asked him if it would ever
be known that I acted as such. He said :
'No; you will be here two hours each day
when I am supposed to be out at lunch. I
always put that notice on the door. Ladies
are ascending and descending these stairs at
all hours of the day. You will not be
noticed; you can wear a veil and avoid
coming straight to my studio by going up
another flight sometimes, then returning
when no one is in sight.
'I was shown a dressing-room, where I
was to disrobe and put on a loose shawl
which would adnii-j of oxposiug only the
part upon which tho painter was engaged
for tho time. I agreed to the terms, and he
handed me the payment for tho first sitting
in advance, with the promise to make all
payments daily. I need not describe to you
the painful details of that terrible ordeal,
but I went through itas best I could, no
seemed not to notice my embarrassment, and
studiously avoided looking at my face.
"The first sitting was given to my arm
and its proportionate length. As time Avent
on I became more reconciled, but always
entered the studio with a shudder. I myself
saw to locking the outside door and never
permitted him to answer a knock or an ap
peal of any kind from the outside. He car
ried out to the letter his part of the agree
ment, and but for the unfortunate circum
stance of his leaving the studio immediately
after the sitting yesterday no person would
have known that I was his model. I heard
your step in the studio but mistook it for
his, aud when I looked up and saw you I felt
as if my sin had found mo out.
"Then I determined to tell you all my
story and appeal to your manhood to respect
my secret."
All this was said with bowed head and
averted face. At times her emotions over
camo her and she was obliged to stop until
she could master them. That every word
was true I have never doubted. Sho had
sent her mother all the money she had re
ceived up to that time, and soon afterwards,
having saved enough to pay her fare home,
took her leave of the kind-hearted lady who
had befriended her, and of the boarders
every one of whom admired her for her
modesty and lady-like deportment, and went
homo to her mother.
I heard no more from her for over a year,
when I received an Ypsilanti newspaper con
taining tho marriage notice which heads this
article.
The names were all carefully orased with
ink, and no clue is left liy which I am able
to trace the bride, who is without doubt the
heroine of this "Story of a Model."
"No, sir-ee," remarked the old resident,
"My wife didn't bring me a cent. But it
was all ray fault. I wouldn't have it. Tho
morning of the day we were married, I says
to her, says I: 'Maria, how much money
have ye got?' Says she: "John, I've got
just 25 cents.' Then, says I, ' Como with me,'
and I took her down to the canal and had her
throw that quarter into the drink. I wasn't
goin' to havo no woman twitting mo about
epreadin' around on her money."
MARRIED TO A PRINCESS,
U. S. Consul Atwatcr and His WiTe, a Daughter
of the queen of Tahiti.
Dorancc Atwater, a member of the Con
necticut cavalry, was takeu prisoner during
the war, aud for many months endured the
horrors of Anderson ville. Being an excel
lent penmau, he was detailed to the hospital
department, aud managed to secure a copy
of the death records, comprising over twelve
thousand names of Union soldiers. This he
secreted about his person, and brought it
away with him when released. This record
proved to be of great value to the Govern
men, and was the first notice the families of
the victims received of the fate of the soldiers.
The Government disputed his right to tho
possession of the records, and this injustice,
with the starvation he endured, broke down
his health, and it was a, long time before he
recovered. After a long delay his services
were iecognized, and he was appointed consul
to the Seycholle Islands, in the Indian Ocean,
and after some years he was made consul at
Tab it i. While there he married the Princess
Moitia, the daughter of the Queen of Tahiti.
His wife is the owner of an island in the
Pacific, and at the last Paris Exhibition he
exhibited a fine collection of pearls from
thnt island. Two months ago he obtained
leave of absence on account of ill-health,
aud is now on his way to Sau Francisco with
his princess wife. On this journey they
have -visited the principal islands in the
South Pacific, including the Sandwich
Islands, and have been welcomed with
almost royal honors.
. JAY GOULD'S YACHT
Tho civ York 3IHi;oiinire Proposes to rioir the
Ocean Illne.
Mr. Jay Gould, piqued at the success which
has followed William Belden, his late part
ner, in-the yacthiug line, aud envious of the
fame of the Yosemite in cutting down and
sinking a large steamboat like the C. Vander
bilt, lias determined to become a yacht
owner. Ife has taken vthe preliminary steps
by purchasing the yacht Roslyn. This craft
is 85 feet long, or nearly sixteen times the
length of its millionaire owner. She is a
fast vessel, and, it is said, can make eighteen
knots an hour. Jay Gould, after "bearing"
the yacht market and circulating all sorts
of rumors that the fover for indulgence in
this style of naval architecture was abating,
managed to buy in the Roslyn for 15,000
precisely 50 per cent, less than it cost the
builder. Henceforth Mr. Goirld will pocket
his free pass of the New York Central road,
or loan it to one of his Wall street friends
at a moderate commission, and his daily
trips to and from Irvington-on-the-Hudson
will bo made in his yacht Roslyn. There
was a wild rumor afloat on Yvrall street
recently to the effect that Jay Gould has
cabled to Commodore Jim Bennett making
a proposition that the Roslyn and Namouna
be chartered to the Government at a good stiff
sum, to form a fleet for another polar expedi
tion, and that the crew be composed of cer
tain personal friends of tho two millionaires
who it is desirable to get rid of. It is further
rumored, though not generally credited, that
Mr. Gould also intimated in tho dispatch
that, while they would both gain a reputa
tion of being public philanthropists in thus
starting a scientific exploration, the expe
rience of the Jeannettehad shown that they
would merely bo sending their friends to a
slow and torturing death amid the glaciers
of tho polar seas. Boston Herald.
A WOMAN AND HER BALLOON.
Mile. Carlotta, the aeronaut who ascended
from Congress Spring Park, Saratoga, Wed
nesday afternoon, descended safely. She says
when the balloon was seen to veer to tho
north it struck a new current, and for a time
was whirled around in a vortex and the
basket was shaken and twisted in a frightful
manner. Her barometer showed that she
was two miles and a-half high, and it was
so cold that her breath condensed and
steamed as on a January morning. Just
after she began to descend the valve-cord
broke and sho could not control the balloon.
It came down quite rapidly toward a large
tract of woods, and she could not control
her landing place. Sho did not daro to
throw out her ballast, for fear she could not
descend when she desired. The balloon came
sweoping down and bounded along on the
topa of the trees until finally its cords got
twisted in the branches, and it was held fast
in tho top of a tree in the depths of the
Hosea Baker woods. Fortunately the atten
tion of James Cleveland was attracted to the
balloon :is it descended by the great commo
tion among the chickens and turkeys, and
ho set out aud found the lady in her perilous
position. He was obliged to chop down the
tree, when the balloon and tho aeronaut also
came down with only a few scratches. Tho
balloon, which is sixty-livo feet in circum
ference when tilled, was borne on Mr. Cleve
land's shoulders out of the woods, and Mile.
Carlotta, with her silken car, reached Sara
toga by private conveyance about 10 o'clock
in the evening. Tho distance to tho Baker
woods is about six miles. This is the eight
ieth ascension Mile. Carlotta has made, and
the sixty-seventh with this balloon.
VERY FAST LOVE-MAKING.
Oconomowoc, tho fashionable resort in
Wisconsin, had among its guests until a few
week ago a little Milwaukeo beauty of seven
teen years and a young Apollo in the person
of a Texas youth. The maid and man met
for the first time during a picnic of archers,
and it is averred that within three hours
after their presentation to each other they
wero engaged to be married. The ranchero,
an extremely handsome youth, bought a
pair of ponies for his sweetheart that after
noon, and, iu order to secure a boat to suit
him, purchased ono outright that the girl
might enjoy a sail on the hike. Though
they waltzed upon tho piazza until after
midnight they wero up with the lark to
carry on what the guests thought to bo the
fastest love-making on record. But Psycho's
wings were to be singed ere midnight and
Cupid was to tread upon a thorn at exactly
12.23 p. m. At that timo tho train from
Milwaukee brought an excited matron, who
arrived just in time to prevent the marriage
of the lovers. The unsuspecting doves were
getting into a barouche to drive to tho par
son's when tho girPs mother caino down
upon them like an Iowa cyclone. A friend
had telegraphed to mamma on the evening
of the dashing courtship, and sho hurried to
Oconomowoc by tho first train. That after
noon firm mother and sobbing daughter
boarded a car for home, whilo tbe ranchero
stood upon tho platform and blew a kiss
and a cloud of cigarette smoko in their
wake. Galveston News.
BY THE SAD SEA WAVES.
Ilorr 2Ir. and Zllrs. Breezy Knjoyetl a Until in
Old Ocean.
" Now, dear," said Mr. Breezy, leading his
wife carefully over the sands, "yon must wet
your head first and then "
"Do you suppose I have never been in
bathing before? " asked Mrs. Breezy, giving
an extra tug at the shirt of her bathing suit,
and looking over her shoulder to see if any
vulgar men were taking in her more or less
graceful costume. "Mr. Breezy, you talk as
though I had lived all my life in the back
woods of Ohio and had never got a sniff of
salt water. I am just as familiar with surf
bathing as you are, Mr. Breezy, and I dare
say a great deal more so. You know I was
brought up on tho Sound, and I know "
"But, my dear, tho surf here at Long
Bnuich is very heavy, and you must take
good hold of the rope as soon "
" Now, Mr. Breezy, I'm not a baby," said
Mrs. Breezy, jerking her arm away from the
grasp of her husband, and making a vain at
tempt to walk gracefully over the rough
beach. "I'd like to see the wave big enough
to knock me over, and you needn't suppose
I'm going to cling to that old rope and miss
all the fan. The rope is all very weU for
the old people and the children. If you are
afraid, Mr. Breezy, you had better go back
to your bath-house and put on your clothes."
" But you know, my dear, you can't swim,
and there is a very strong undertow here,
they say," said Mr. Breezy, once more grasp
ing his wife's arm.
"Do let go of me, and for pity's sake stop
acting like a fool," said Mrs. Breezy, making
a dash forward, and once more releasing her
arm. "All the people will imagine we are
on our wedding tour if you keep on in this
way. You just shift for yourself, and let me
alone for once in your life. I know you will
have all you can do to keep from drowning
without bothering me. You can't swim any
more than I can, and I'd advise you to cling
to the ropo on your own account, and stick
to it. For my part I'd rather be drowned
than appear a coward."
"But simple prudence, my dear," said Mr.
Breezy, stumbling over a piece of driftwood
in a vain attempt to once more reach his wife.
"If I was a man, I'd swear," said Mrs.
Breezy, looking back scornfully at her better
half. "Of all the old grandmothers you go
ahead. Do you think I came down here to
be constantly told what I am to do? Am I
of age, Mr. Breezy, or not? Tell me that.
" But you will stay inside the ropes, won't
yon, dear?" urged Mr. Breezy, stumbling
along after his wife, and cursing the luck
that ever brought him to the seashore.
"I don't know whether I will or not,"
said Mrs. Breezy, striding boldly toward the
breakers and folding her arms in a de
termined manner. "It's just as safe outside
the ropes as in, and I can take care of myself
anyway, no matter where I am. Did you
ever see me in a position where I couldn't,
Mr. Breezy?"
"Not to my knowledge," said Mr. Breezy
smiling in spite of his situation. "But you
are not used to surf bathing "
"Mr. Breezy, do let up I mean to stop
that everlasting preaching," said Mrs. Breezy,
reaching the edge of the incoming tide and
halting suddenly. "Mr. Breezy, come here
and take my hand."
"B':t I thought you could "
"Never mind what you thought," said
Mrs. Breezy, jumping back as a little wave
lapped about her ankle. "Take my handi
do you hear?" and another wave crept in
creeping nearly to her knees. "Will you
take my hand, or do you propose to staud
there like a brute and see your wife
drowned?" screamed Mrs. Breezy, throwing
her arms about her husband's neck as soon
as ho came within reach, and hanging to him
like a poor relation. "Now, take me over
to that rope, and don't let go of me ; quick,"
screamed Mrs. Breezy, as a big wave swept
up to her waist.
"But you said, dear, that "
"Do you want to get rid of me?" screamed
Mrs. Breezy, clinging to her husband's hand
liko a vise. "Do you want me to dr
drown? Oh, dear, here comes another," and
sho fairly climbed up on her husband's form
in a vain attempt to escape a tremendous
breaker; bu't it was too late, and they both
rolled over on the sand as the water dashed
past them.
"Ugh, this is dreadful!" gasped Mrs.
Breezy, finally regaining her feet, and tug
ging at her clinging bathing suit. "Oh,
dear, I must just look like liko a fright,
and my hair is all coming down, and and
I think I will go out. Mr. Breezy, what are
you laughing at, you great, heartless brute ? "
But another wave caught her on a flank
movement, and she once more hit the sand.
"Oh, dear oh, Mr. Breezy, catch mi.
Where are yon?" screamed Mrs. Breezy, dis
tributing herself promiscuously over the
beach as she struggled to get out of the
reach of the surf.
"Here, dear," called Mr. Breezy, dipping
a handful of sand out of his port ear, and
doubtfully crawling toward his wife, and
the twin wrecks made a bee-line for their
bathing-houses. Brooklyn Eagle.
ANXIOUS TO SERVE THE COUNTRY.
A Muldoon was running for political office.
Ho kept a corner liquor store, of course.
About two o'clock in the morning after elec
tion day a vast crowd of his friends and sup
porters came rushing in and cried with one
voice : " Set up tho rum, Mike, you're
elected!" ,
"Bejabers!" exclaimed Mike, "is it so?"
"Yes," they chimed in, "yer 'ave a majori
teo ov tin thousand an' moor."
Mike sot up glasses and rum for the entire
crowd, and they all drank enthusiastically
and bad liquor.
"An' I'm dieted?" repeated Mike in great
gleo.
"Sure yo are," eried tho crowd.
"An' will yez plazo tell me, byes," said
Mike, "is it to Albanee or Washington I
go?"
STRIKING A GOLD VEIN IN A CELLAR.
A guard has been placed over the Lobanon
cellar where the gold voin was struck and a
company is being organized to develop the
lode. Since the discovery everybody in the
town has deserted their legitimate employ
ment and begun cellar-digging. One can't
venture out the length of his nose after dark
without falling into seventeen or eighteen
cellars. The mills aro running double time
turning out spades and picks, and the whole
town is one vast and yawning cellar. If the
boom should happen to collapse., Lebanon
will bo prepared to sell cellars in lots to suit
the purchaser, at reasonable rates. Cellars
shipped into the country without extra
i vr T o -i t i
uiiuiyo. x. x. oecuua-nana cellars a I
eternity, -Lebanon (Ohio) Letter,
VIT AMD HUMOR.
Civilizing tbe Indian : Sitting Bull, aa a
prisoner of war, so to speak, draws a pint of
whisky daity, and when ho gets that much
down him he feels as if he wero leading
captivity captive. Lowell Citizen.
Immorality of yachting: Twelve persons
will go out yachting, and each one will after
wards tell you privately that " every one was
sick but me." We begin to think that
yachting is immoral. Boston Transcript.
Good advice : The Steubenville Herald has
an article headed " Shall Wo Fly ? " We havo
not had time to read the article, but we ad
vise the editor of the Herald to stay and
brazen it out, whatever it is. reins Sif lings.
Trade item: Coal Oil Johnny has been col
lared by the Cincinnati police for chokin
his wife. For several years Johnny Steele
has bought his diamonds at retail instead of
by the peck, as ho formerly did. Detroit
Po3t and Tribune.
The new primer: See the honest driver.
He is stopping at hi3 home. YVill he leave a
tub of the coal ? Yes, he will leave a tub of
the coal. Then he will drive on and supply
the man who bought the coal. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Western culture: Five musicians have
been added to the Denver Opera House or
chestra, and there is to be an exhibition.
Denver feels aesthetic enough to lynch any
man that says she has not got any culture.
Boston Transcript.
Seaside exercise: "Does' your wife take
much exercise ? " asked Fenderson of Fogg,
whose family is at the seaside. " Exercise! "
exclaimed Fogg, "I should say so. She
changes her dress six. time3 every day."
Boston Transcrij)t.
Better left unsaid: Snookson (with aknow
ing look through his eye-glass) "I say,
Boodle, who's that uncommon showy-looking
woman your friend Scamperdown 's always
about with ? " Boodle " His wife, and my
sister." London Punch.
A refractory child: "I declare!" exclaimed
Mrs. Tidinice, "I never saw a gal like our
Sary Jane. I worked eenamost two hull
days on her new bathin' dress, and don't you
think, she got it wringin' wet the fust time
she put in on! " Boston Transcript.
Cetewayo's doom : Cetewayo has been in
vited to dine with the Mayor and Common
Council of London. If he passes through
the ordeal with his life some new method of
destruction will have to be invented for hia
especial case. Boston Transcript.
Recipe for angels : "Mamma, what make3
angels?" asked a little boy, who had been
reading of the heavenly inhabitants. Tho
mother glanced out into the orchard, and,
with a warning look, solemnly replied, "Un
ripe fruit, my dear." JSF. 1". Com. Advertiser.
Why ho drinks : German Workman
" Yaas, it is drue some of mein countrymen
drink mooch bier, but it is not strong and
does not make dem dronlc." British Work
man " No ! Then what the dooce is the use
o' them a-drinkin' of it?" London Funny
Folks.
Public scandal: It is rumored in select
social circles that the Times of to-day will
contain a thrilling scandal entitled "The
Post Office Letter List." Contrary to jour
nalistic ethics, the names of the parties to
tho affair will not be suppressed. Denver
Tribune.
A certain young man brought hi3 affianced
down from the country to see the sights.
One day while they were passing the confec
tioner'sthe swain noticed in the window a
placard bearing the announcement: "Ice
cream, $1 per gal." "Well," said the young
man, as he walked into the saloon, "that's a
pretty steep price to charge for one gal ; but,
Maria, I'll see you through, no matter what
it costs. Here's a dollar, waiter ; ice cream
for this gal."
A good Austin father gave his son a nickel
and sent him to church, and after he came
home asked him what the text was. He
said ho did not know. "Did you forget
everything?" asked the parent. "No," said
the boy carefully, " I remembered not to put
the nickel in the plate." "Why, you hea
then ! " " If I'm- a heathen its all right. . I
know for once that the poor heathen got the
nickel that was" intended for him. I bought
me some peaches with that nickel."
A model husband : " Father," he suddenly
remarked, as he looked up into the paternal
face, "you are awful good to ma." "Am I?
Well, I hope I treat her as a husband should
a devoted wife." "And it's all over town
how liberal you are to her." "How? what
do you mean?" "Why I heard three or
four men on the car say that all yon had in
the world was in her name!" "Yes ahem
yes you get to bed, sir; and next timo
you hear people lying. about me don't listen
to what they say!" Wall Street Xcics.
"I should like to know something about
this Egyptian question, dad," said a yonng
New Haven midget at tea last evening.
"What are they firing at Alexandria for
because it is great?" "Yes, my child, I
suppose so." "And who is Arabi Bey and
Dervish Pasha and Ismail" "They are all
foreigners, my son. You can have no possi
ble interest iu them. Eat your supper and
keep quiet." This is the way some parents
have of withholdinginformation they haven't
got from their children. A'ew Haven licgis
tcr. Thero was a trustful look in hia dark
gray eyes as he turned them full upon her
and said : " You will be mine? " Her bosom
heaved like a cockle-shell boat on the glassy
surface of a lake gently stirred by the soft
pulses of an Italian atmosphere, but she
conquered her agitation sufficiently to an
swer, "Yes." "When?" ho ardently con
tinued. It was then that the subtle nature
of a long line of piratical ancestors mani
fested itself, and drooping her lovely head
she murmured : " Y,Theu the Brooklyn bridgo
is finished." Brooklyn Eagle.
Morning at Mahaffey ville: The tremulous
boughs of the waving trees were raining
down shadows that fell cool and ihir upon
Lurline Jr'erkins' beautiful faco as she stood
silent and alone near the woodshed. The
murmurous sighing of the summer breeze
was borne to her by tho tranced air, and
ever and anon there came up from the
meadows the sound of the farmer's axe as ho
felled the sturdy asparagus that was soon to
delight the palates of the rich people in tho
city who could pay for it. Away to the
eastward, mirroring back tho azure dome of
tho sky, lay tho lake, and the swell of its
silver foam but served to make the silence
deeper. The girl stood for several minutes
as if entranced by the scene. Then, turning
sadly away, she exclaimed in low, bitter
tones : " I suppose I shall have to milk that
dratted cow and tho sooner I get at it tha
j better." Chicago Tribunet