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THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE: WASHINGTON, D. 0., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1882.
4 The National Tribune (Established 1877.) "To care for him who has bohnc the battle, and km HK YilQO ANO ORPHANS.'-AAHAM LlHCOLN. "The vauwty cf the fooc debt of the Unitsd states, authorizco by law, inctkot.no debt incurred fob payment of nmow8 and bojkttcs' fob bebvlcis in &up fremms wswwcotwk cw rcbcluon, shall hot be ques TIONED.' SEC 4, AftT. XIV, CCWSTITUTION OF THE UNITED States. " i conwoer it the ablest paper cevoteo to the inter ests of the soldier publishes in the coon". ky. 1 earnestly coe0 it to all 00mmdc6 of the order." Paul VanDervoort, CMAMOCK-isCmcrt G. A. Ft. PUBLISHED WEEKLY. One Dollar per 'Year. JK3-TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION JwAfHASLY cash in advance. tmosey rohwardcb otherwise than by regis ters letter, postal mouty order, or draft on new York, will be at the risk of the sender, as also all subscriptions paid to aqents. Jf-RENEWALS. Subscribers can always ascertain THE BATE WHEN THEIR SUBSCRIPTION WILL EXPIRE BY LOOKINQ AT THE NUKEER ON THE WRAPPER OF THEW PAPER, WHICH IS THE AE AS THAT OF THE " WHOLE MUHBER OF THE LAST ISSUE WHICH THCY ARE ENTITLED TO RECEIVE. -5ADOIESSES. Addresses will be chanced a9 OFTEN AS DESIRED, BUT SUBSCRIBERS SHOULD 1H ALL CASES GIVE THtIR OLO AS WCU A3 NEW ADDi6S. 4CORnE3PONDENCE. CORIlESPONDENCEISSOLlCITEa itwm every section in regard to all grand army, pension, Military, Aoricultural, Industrial, ano Household mat ters, and Letters to the Editor will always receive prompt attention. V.'hue on ONE SIDE of the taper ONLY. 3- ADVERTISING RATES. Wants (per Agate line) 10 CTS. ; THREE LINES 5 Cts. OTHER TRANSIENT ADVERTISING, so cts Pt une. Thirteen insertions to cent, dis count; twenty-six insertions ao pe ccnt. discou-jt; FFTY-TWO INMRTtOhS 30 PER CENT. M5COUKT. ADDKESS ALL LETTER4 The National Tribune, 61 5 Fifteenth St.. Washington, D. C. CNTEfiCS AT TH WSHIN6TO. POST-OrnCE AS SECOND-CLASS VATTER. The National Tribune. WASHINGTON, D. C, KOYEMBER 23, 1832. The nuyribcr of new subscribers to The Na tional Tribune received since November 1st is 2,808. An excjiang3 wonders whether Mr. Oscar Wilde lias realized his expectations from the ajsthetb reform ha intended to inaugurate in this country. He probably did realize his moat extravagant expecta tions, as it is said that his lecture tour netted him some two hundred thousand dollars. It may be mentioned, as one of the sub stantial evidences of the value of the work which The National Tkiuune is doing for the soldier, that the examining surgeons in pension cases are now paid two dollars in stead of one dollar for each examination. The injustice which characterized Commis sioner Bentley's administration is fast be coming a thing of the past. During the approaching session of Con gress The National Thieune will devote a great deal of space to the publication of news touching the character and status of measures affecting the interests of our ex soldiers, and those who wish to keep well posted in regard to the work of Congress should send us their subscriptions at once. "When we say that no veteran can afford to do without The National Tribune we simply reiterate the assertions of its own subscribers, whose endorsement, we take it, is all that could bo desired, and we trust that the time is .at hand when no veteran will be without it. The National Tribune now goes to 8,05G post-offices, embracing every State and Territory of the Union, or to 1,239 more post-offices than it did on the first of Sep tember last. This is a very gratifying show ing, for it proves that its circle of readeis is Bteadily and rapidly widening and its influ ence becoming more and more national. It is not enough, however, that The Tribune should be read at every post-office in the country. It should be read by every ex soldier 'at every post-office. That is the object of its ambition, and we appeal to our subscribers to aid us in achieving it. If they will but prepare a list of the ex-soldiers residing in their vicinity, and take occasion to make a personal canvass for subscriptions to The Tribune, they will find little diffi culty in accomplishing the desired result. Now that the elections are ovor and thero is no longer anything to distract the atten tion of our comrades, we trust they will all turn in and help us to take every veteran into camp. Our ex-soldiers and sailors should all be subscribers to The National Tkibune and all members of the Grand Army. Said ono of our subscribers lately in a letter to the editor: "I am not a soldier, but The Tkibune interests me deeply." Such expressions as this are by no means uncommon, and they indicate, not simply that The Tkibune is an interesting news paper, bat that outside of the ranks of our veterans there is a large class of people who think as they do about questions of pension and bounty legislation. Indeed, as we have repeatedly shown, it is a great mistake to suppose that our ex-soldiera are themselves the only ones who are concerned in the result of the contest which is now in pro gress for the recognition of their rights by Congress. On the contrary, the people at large are heartily in sympathy with our veterans, and can bo relied upon to render them substantial support when the oecation offers. The only danger is that they will bo unduly influenced by the statements of such unprincipled newspapers as the New York Tribune,Sun and Hi raid, and in order to coun teract the effect of these reckless publications it is, therefore, of the highest importance that the truths contained in The National Tkibune should be dibfomiuated as widely as possible. For this reason it is always a cause of special satisfaction to us to receive the subscriptions of civilians as well us ex soldiers, and we hope our readers will bear this point in mind while engaged in the work of canvassing. It is the sinners, rather than the righteous, that we are anxious to bring to repentance, and we connot conceive of a more effectual way of building up a healthy public sentiment in favor of soldiers' rights than to place a great soldiers' paper like The Tkibune in the hands of tho maese3. Tli.iiilt!;lYin IJny. We are indebted to New England for our Thanksgiving Da', and to the war for the na tional observance of it. Originally a mere local holiday, and partaking of a devout religious character, it has come to have pretty much the same importance in tho public estima tion as Christmas or tho Fourth of July, and is celebrated with almost equal enthusiasm. During that memorable epoch in our coun try's history when the Nation was in the throes of civil war, there were times when the ob servance qT a day of fasting and prayer would have seemed more fitting than sitting down to a feast, and, indeed, the lamented Lincoln, on several occasions, recommended the setting apart of special days for that purpose, but, nevertheless, it was during this period of doubt and anxiety as to the future of the Republic that ho custom first became firmly rooted in national favor. And it is a gracious and beautiful custom, not a mere "harvest home," such as the ancients were wont to celebrate with baccha nalian revels, pouring out libation3 of wine and honey and oil to the divinities they "ignorantly worshiped," but a public recog nition of the blessings bestowed upon the Republic by an All-wise Providence. Tho Thanksgiving Day dinner is but a niero incident, though a very delightful one, of the festival. It is in the hearts of the cele brants rather than their palates thnt Grati tude has her seat, and be the viands ever so tempting, they cannot be said to have the true Thanksgiving flavor unless they be seasoned with the spice of contentment and good feeling. The most precious feature of the festival is, indeed, the occasion which it affords for family reunions and the renewal of those social tics which time and distance are so apt to sunder. It is a feast of tho fireside, a blessing of the home. There arc some, we suppose, who will bolt their Thanksgiving dinner next Thursday witout stopping to reflect what they have to be thankful for, but all will not. be so heed Jess. We are sure our ex-soldiers and sailors will not commit the sin of thoughtlessness. They have cause for gratitude in the faet that the country to whose preservation they devoted their lives has not yet entirely for gotten their sacrifices, and that while the work of adjusting their claims for pension goes on but slowly, it still goes on. Their enemies as yet have not succeded in turning public sentiment against them. As com pared with a year ago the outlook is bright and cheering. It is true that the horizon of their hopes is not free from clouds, but the silver lining is plainly visible. They are no longer powerless to strike a blow in defense of their rights, and compelled to tamely sub mit to the jeers and insults of the opposi tion. A great and intrepid leader has been raised up to them in The National Tkib une, and it summons them to victory. Others may prove faithless, but The Tkib une will never swerve from its allegiance, and that alone is sufficient occasion for thanksgiving. Ah, well! but for their prowess in the field, their fortitude in battle, and their in dustry in peace, Thanksgiving Day might long ago have met the fate of heathen festi vals in the decay and death of the Republic. It is to them that we owe, under tho favor of Providence, the substantial prosperity for which thanks will be offeied on Thursday next and when grace is said above tho groaning board, let a blessing bo invoked nnon their ebbing lives. The V.'ar Is Ovor. "The war is over." It is with this famil iar phrase that tho enemies of the soldier usnaliy conclude their arguments against pension and bounty legislation. Yes, the war is over. Tho Army of North ern Virginia is no longer at Gettysburg. There is a National Cemetery where onco the stockade of Andersonville stood. The Stars and Stripes are flying to-day over the capiiol of the southern confederacy. The war is over. The soldier has laid aside tho aword and is driving the plough share of civilization straight across the con tinent. Elevators, choked with wheat and corn, line the highways to tho sea. The smoke from thousands of busy factories rises to heaven like incense from the altar of peace. The war is over. The Government has resumed specie payments. The national debt has been reduced more than one billion of dollars. United States three per cents are at a premium, and there is a surplus of ono hundred and fifty millions of dollars in the Tieasury. The war is over. More than half a mil lion immigrants lauded on our shores dur ing the past year. More than ten thousand miles of railroad have been built within the last twelve months. More than six million bales of cotton have been grown in the South without the aid of slave labor. Tho war is over. The Nation has grown great and prosperous. It is as if the war had never been. Yet what it is, it would not be, if the war had never been. The war is over. For thoso who had no part or lot in that magnificent struggle for the preservation of the Union yes. But it never will be over for those who stood shoulder to shoulder in the trenches. It will live in their hearts so ' jng as Memory holds her sway and Patriotism has a Hiugle votary. The war is ovor? Not so long as the dis abled'veteran is compelled to beg his bread, and tho widow and the orphan forced to livo on private charity. When this rich and prosperous Government shall have dis charged to tho full its debt to the soldier as well an to the bondholder, then, and not till then, will the war be over. Yes, "Slake tho Government Poor." John 13. Gough used to tell a story in the course of his lectures to illustrate the thoughtless manner in which people will sometimes rush into mortal danger despite earnest warnings, nnd never realize their situation until it is too lato to retrace their steps. Thero was a party of excursionists in a pleasure boat floating gaily down a swift-running stream, the air was filled with sounds of laughter and gay hilarity. An old man on tho shore shouted, "Look out for tho falls." They only answered, "All right, old man, we'll look out for the falls when we get there." A little lower down another well-meaning country wight hailed tho pleasure seekers, and in stentorian tones cried out, "The falls are near at baud ; be careful, or you will go over and be drowned." Still the party floated on with joy unabated, and barely deigned to answer back the anxious coun tryman flippautly, "Oh, never mind, we know where we ate going." They did not know where they wcro going. A minuto more and the roar of the falls burst suddenly upon them. For the first time they noticed that they were pass ing down the stream with tho speed of a racer. Now all gayoty was dispelled. Their laughter gave way to cries for help. They seized tho oars with frantic energy and endeavored to turn the boat once more up the stream. It was no use. On they went, pulling, struggling, screaming for help that could not savo them. They come to the verge of tho abyss of tossing water and over they went, with shouts of terror and cries of agony and despair. They paid tho pen alty of their own recklessness. The approaching Congress is in danger of going down the stream while all is well, until in u moment the tails are reached and we are over the abyss in ono grand crash of financial chaos. The cry comes up from all over the country, " Reduce tho taxes, wipe out tho revenues." Politicians have grasped this as the straw is clutched by the drown ing. In it they fancy they see political salvation. Each party vies with the other in plans to reduce taxation. It will take brave and conservative men to stem tho tide until the country has time for reflection The reasons why we are especially in danger of reckless legislation at this time are threofold: 1. Congressmen believe that the great mass of the people are in favor of the aboli tion of internal taxes, and what Congress men think thu people want is sufficient for them. The people, however, aie not clam oring for this tax reduction. The cry has been started by the great monopolies of the country, which expect and would receive the whole benefit of it. 2. In certain sections of the country there is a violent opposition to the internal-revenue system. This applies especially to several of the Southern States, where almost the only means the farmer has of marketing his crop is first to distill it into liquor, whether it is corn or fruit. This is owing to remoteness from railroads and the absence of stock. These private distillers resent the interfer ence of the Government in their business. 3. The high-tariff men in Congress think that the surest way to prevent a wholesalo reduction of the list is to cut down the in come of the Government by the abolition of internal taxes to such a point that the ne cessities of tho Nation wiilforbid the further contraction of its revenues. These circumstances all converge towardts one result, namely, tho abolition of the in ternal revenue laws. All these elements are united to one end. The Now York Herald is ono of thoso newspapers which has urged upon tho country its theory for the reduction of taxes, and now comes out boldly and accepts the legitimate results of the plan it advocates, as shown in The National Tkibune last week. The Herald says : " Reduce the taxes and make tho Government poor." It pro fesses to believe that tho only way to cor rect what it terms certain abuses, such as liberal appropriations for the pension list and internal improvements, is to wipe out the Government's income and "make the Government poor." Tho honesty and bold ness of tho Herald, in confessing its appre ciation of the legitimate results it advocates, is at any rate commendable. Yes, let Congress go ahead "and mnko tho Government poor." "When the country is made poor the people suffer. When the Government is made poor banks will fail, sav ings institutions will close their doors, iron mills and cotton factories will shut down, a bushel of wheat will sell tor less than it costs to raise it, coal production will cease, immigration will stop, and instead of plenty and abundance everywhere with tho Gov ernment rich, thero will be want, starvation and hard times. "Who will take tho responsibility end "make the Government poor?" "What is proposed to bo cured by the resort to such desperate measures as the impoverish ment of the Government? It is simply to change a practice which some think right and others hold to be wrong. It is to take away the means for making liberal appro priations of money for various purposes. The taxes collected from rich corporations or paid nnconsciously by the people are re distributed among the masses by means of theso appropriations. To a certain class of statesmen this practice is ono of the most baneful in our system of Government, and in order to avoid it they would removo tho taxes. A bill passed the House last session to abolish tho tax on bank deposits, capital and circulation, on bank checks, friction mutches, patent medicines, perfumery and cosmetics. Thua, in order to prevent Congress from making very wicked appropriations, they propose to relieve the poor bankers of various petty taxoa, which amounted for the lineal year ending Juno 30, 182, to $5,253,458. With the same object in view, they propose to tako the stamp tax off each bottle of patent medicine, to relievo the proprietor, who already makes about 400 per cent, on Ike compound. It wa3 proposed alio to abolish tho two-cent etamp which is required on each bank check, whilo perfumeries and cosmetics wcro to bo relieved, which, to gether with patent medicines, paid $2,000,000 revenue. Such a proposition as a means for correcting an alleged abuse is little better than childish. Thore is a manly way to meet the evil if it exists. Correct it. Stop it. Ah another reason why these taxes Bhould bo removed, it is urged by a certain class of demagogues that it would relievo tho poor peoplo of a burden of war taxes, which they should no longer bear. Let us be honest about this. Would a bottle of medicine be any cheaper to tho people were the stamp re moved, or would so much more bo added to tho profits of the manufacturer? Would the people find any more sympathy or accommodation at a bank were the bank ers' taxes repealed and over $5,000,000 taken from the National Treasury? Would a bottle of cologne bo marked down to tho purchaser if the revenue stamp, which now adheres to the cork, were abol ished as n reminiscence of the war? In conclusion, Congress will find it easy to follow tho prevailing advice and " make the Government poor." The question is, will it pay? Congress made tho Govern ment poor in a few months in 1837. Did it pay then? Will it pay to bring misery and hard times upon our people in order to effect a questionable chaugo in the financial policy of the Nation? Ttio T.utest Attack on Genernl Dudley. Having failed to prevent tho passage by Congress, at its last session, of the bill au thorizing an increase in the clerical force of the Pension Office, the enemies of the soldier are now endeavoring to bring discredit upon tho administration of the bureau itself. Says tho Philadelphia Times of the 18lh inst. : "There are many accumulating evidences that the largely increased force of inexperi enced clerks in tho Pension Departmen t has opened tho door fur fraud and extiavi'j::.nee to rr.n riot in the adjustment of many of the so called claims. Tho claims have accumulated to such an extent that the Commissioner is running tho bureau at hiijh pros aire in order to clear up tho work and stop complaints. The effect of this hurry, especially when the claim ure to he submitted for examination to totally inexperienced and incompetent nieu. in many instances cannot he otherwise than detrimental to tho hoi'rsL interests of the Government. In justice may ho done in individual instances by going slow, hut much worse injustice is sure to result from loose nnd hasty consideration of the great mass of the applications. The big appropriations for pension purposes aro a stand ing temptation for fraudulent and trumped-up claims, and good care should be taken to sift them thoroughly." The statements contained in this articla are plainly deliberate perversions of the truth, and it is astonishing that a journal with any pretension to respectability should give them currency. Had they been made by some obscure country newspaper, they might be ascribed, perhaps, to the ignorance of the editor, but in the case of the Times it must be presumed that they were mad with malice aforethought. Let us see what they amount to. The Times declares that tho pension clnimn have "accumulated to Btich an extent that the Commissioner is running the bureau at high pressure in order to clear up the work and stop complaints." Now, what aro the facts? Simply that at the opening of tho last fiscal year there were 350,337 claims on file in tho Pension Office, to adjust which, with tho small force then at the dis posal of tho Commissioner, would have re quired at least ten years, and in all proba bility a much longer period. To. havu com pelled 350,337 claimants to wait that length of time for the money to which they wer entitled would clearly have been an act of cruel injustice, and ono, too, for which, inas much as the Government was and is amply able to discharge all these obligations at once, and tho question of their adjustment is only a question of the number of clerks employed for that purpose, no adequate ex cuse could have been offered. Tho Com missioner was not willing to be held respon sible for such a stato of things, bu, at the same time, as an honest and sensible busi ness man, he felt that with the force then employed in tho bureau tho rate of adjust ment could not be expedited without jeopardizing the Government's interests, since, as a result of a too hasty examination of pending claims, some might be passed which really ought to bo rejected. It was because he did not want to run the bureau at "high pressure" that he asked Congress to authorize tho employment of additional clerks, and that he has not done so since tho desired increase w:ts made in tho force, the small number of pension certificates issued plainly shows. We do not doubt that Commissioner Dud ley is anxious, as tho Times intimates, to "clear up the work and stop complaiuts." He ought to be. He is a soldier himself, and in a position to feel for those of his comrades who aro compelled to battlo single-handed with poverty and disease while awaiting tho adjustment of their claims, Hut Commis sioner Dudley ha3 too high an appreciation of the duty which he owes the Government to permit, as the Times insinuates, "totally inex perienced and incompetent men " to examine and pass upon the claims in his oflice, and the fact is that the number of claims allowed during the last three months has been really smaller than it would havo been had the force not been increased, for the simple reason that to a great extent tho time of the old clerks has been employed in instructing the now clerks in their duties. From this time forth, however, it is reasonable to ex pect thero will bo a steady increase in the I number of certificates issued, and that, too, without running the bureau at "high pres sure " or " opening the door for fraud and extravagance," or .subjecting " the great mass of the applications" to "loose and hasty consideration." As for the statement that " the big appro priations for pension pnrposes are a standing temptation for fraudulent and trumped-up claims," it is a sufficient answer to call tho attention of the Times to the fact aud we heartily wish it were not the fact that the work of the Pension Office is so much in arrears, that it will be two or three years, at the best, before tho claims now being tiled receive final consideration. These "big ap propriations," as the Times calls them, are being applied to the payment of claims filed long before the appropriations were made, and which could not therefore have been preferred as a result of the "standing temp tation" to which the Times refers. Every person of average intelligence knows this to be the case, yet newspapers like the Times, assuming that tho public will take for granted that what they say is true, persist in their atupid and malicious slanders. It is high timo that our ex-soldiers and sailors asserted their manhood. Their defamero should be made to understand that they will not tamely submit to this constant and deliberate abuse and villification. Commissioner Dudley has done and is still doing all within his power to expedite the adjustment of the claims still pending in his office, aud at the same time has taken good caro to protect the interests of the Government.- It is the duty of our comrades to give him their hearty and unconditional support. Tho Comuinnder-iii-Cliorn Work. It must by this time be apparent to every body that in Comrade Paul VanDervoort the Grand Army of the Republic has a very active, earnest, and enthusiastic Commander-in-Chief. At tho time of his election he pledged himself to make a personal inspec tion of every Department, nnd that promiso ho i3 faithfully carrying oat. He has already made the tour of New England and tho Middle States, and the enthusiasm with which he has been everywhere received affords ample evidence thnt his labors are appreciated. Elsewhere in our columns will be found some account of his visit to the Department of Ohio, and we give below his appointments for Indiana, where ha is at present : Fort Wayne, Thursday, November 23; South Bend, Friday, November 24 ; Lafayette, Saturday, November 25; Madison, Monday, November 27; Evausville, Tuesday, November 28 ; Greensburgh, Wednesday, November 29. Tuesday, of this week, Commander-in-Chief VanDervoort was announced to spend at Richmond, Ind., aud yesterday at In dianapolis. It will be seen that his en gagements are as numerous as those of a stump speaker in a hot political campaign, bnt his heart is in tho work, and his enthusiasm is likely to beget enthusiasm in his comrades. I'.attlo of Gettysburg. The graphic pen picture of the defense of Little Round Top, given on our first page, ia taken from an exceedingly well-written book of pages, by Rev. Theodore Gerrish, entitled, "Army Life : A Private's Reminis cences of the War." Mr. Gerrish partici pated in the scenes he describes as a private in the Twentieth Maine infantry, aud there aro few writers who have the faculty of so chaining the readers attention. In the next number of The National Tribune will bo commenced a complete history of tho Gettysburg campaign, compiled from official data, and containing much valuable in formation never before given to the country. The article will bo illustrated with maps, engraved expressly for this paper, showing the topography of the country in the vicinity of Gettysburg, nnd tho position of the con tending forces. This article alone will be amply worth a year'B subscription to The National Tribune. Tho Stonemnn Raid. This expedition, which promised so much and accomplished so littlo, in proportion to the loss sustained, is printed by permission of the writer from a manuscript copy of his personal memoirs. Few cavalry officers had a mora adventurous career than General Capron. Tho weight of his sixty .years sat so lightly upon him that when he entered Ken tucy in tho spring of 1S63 at the head of the famous Fourteenth Illinois cavalry none would have placed his ago at over forty-five. Bravo as a lion, and always well mounted, ho rode his spirited steed into the thickest of the fight. His record before that which we give in this number of The Tkibune had been full of adventures. With a detach ment of his regiment ho was one of the iivo hundred to follow John Morgan in the "race for life" of that noted raider from Buffinglou Island through eastern Ohio to near New Lisbon, where Morgan and hi3 followers weie captured, a lull account of which was given in The National Tkib nue in April last. Colonel Caprou's turn to run for his life took place after Stonemau's surrender, and those who follow him in his thrilling narrativo given in this and the succeeding number, will wonder how he escaped with his life. Itoater of Surgeons. A most valuable book for all ex-soldiers, and all but indispensable to applicants for pensions, is the "Roster of Regimental Sur geons and Assistant Surgeons During tho War of the Rebellion," which contains their present post-office addresses, so far as it is possible to ascertain them. Tho volume comprises 320 pages and tho names of nearly 8,000 surgeons and hospital stewards, alpha betically arranged by State3 and numerically by regiments, giving the date when each regiment was mustered out, and also tha date when each surgeon left the service. In many cases soldiers have met with vexations delays in receiving their pensions, owing to the incompleteness of the records in the Surgeon-General's Office, whereby great diffi culty is found in establishing to the satisfac tion of tho Pension Office proof of the origin of disability. This work enables tho appli cant in most cases to ascertain the address of tho surgeon under whose treatment he may have been, and npon whose testimony hia long-deferred pension may be granted. Those medical officers who have died are so reported in this roster, and the applicant is enabled to at once secure such collateral evidence to establish the cause of disability, without wasting time in fruitless efforts to ascertain the whereabouts of such an officer. This work was compiled upon tho suggestion of Commissioner Dudley, and is prepared from various official records and other sources of authentic information. The publishers of The National Tribune will send copies of this work for $1.50 each, postage propaid, or will present a copy to tho getter-up of a club of ten subscribers. Mr. R. K. Helphenstine, the Ebbifrfc House druggist, who is the proprietor of Durang's Rheumatic Remedy, has been long and favorably known as one of Washington's most reliable business men. A VERSATILE GENIUS. The editor had completed hia hard week's work, and had sent the last installment of " copy " for The National Tkibune to tho foreman, and was leaning back in hia easy chair, enjoying a long-deferred rest, when a loud knock was heard at the door of the aanc turn. Tho editorial feet were removed from tho editorial desk, and the editorial voice sung out, " Como in." The door opened somewhat cautiously and admitted a visitor of lank form and decidedly seedy appearance, with a roll of manuscript under his arm. "Ara you the editor?" ho remarked, in a voice whose melody appeared to be somewhat impaired by the ravages of time. The editor respouded in the affirmative. " My name is Cyrus J. Higgins," said the visitor. " You havo heard of me, I presume?" The editor stated that he was forced to admit that the pleasure of an acquaintance with tho illustrious name was an entirely novel sensation. "And such is fame!" said tha stranger, with what ho evidently iifteiided for a bitter and cynical smile, but what was really a most ex traordinary distortion of countenance, convoy ing no idea in particular to the dispassionate observer. "Sir," he continued, "I am a literary genius, I am the most versatile writer of this or any other age." 3 The editor expressed his gratification at be holding so remarkable an individual. "I have here," said the literary genius, " some samples of my literary ability, which, as certain of my personal effects aro tempo rarily detainod by a relative, I am willing to dispose of for a pecuniary consideration. I can write in any stylo, and upon all subjects." Tho editor remarked that such versatility was an unusual gift. "For instance," said Mr. Higgins, selecting a sheet of manuscript, "hers is something of a descriptive nature, which lays over anything that iiulwer ever wrote": " 'The pallid splendor of a silvery flood of lua trous rays emitted from the midnight orb, show ered its effulgent brilliance jithwart tho gnaried and !4hiiK;ic branches of the giants of the forest, thut like grim sentinels lifted their toivering forms toward the cloudlet dome of Heaven.' " "Thore," said the atrangor. " how doe that strike you?" The editor stated that he presumed thai the idea intended to be conveyed was that the moon shone in the woods. " Exactly," said the genhi3. The editor intimated that in hia opinion Bulwer never wrote anything similar to that, " Of course not," said the visitor, with a sat isfied expression. " Now here is a poem that would have immortalized Longfellow, had he written it. Listen " : ' ' When silently the curtain of the night Falls soltly o'er tho glory of thu day. When saddened Nature weep? tho dying light, And c-ouvent sisters kneel thorn down to pray; Then comes U me the memory of days, Loiik shrouded in the silent tievennoro, When eri 1 Mole into my aunt's hack yard. And sUmmed beer-bottlea at tha cut noxt door.' " "Where is Longfollownow?" triumphantly exclaimed the poet. The editor remarked that ho believed Mr. Longfellow was dead. "Now, hero is something," continued tho versatile writer, " in what I call the composite style. Observe how beautifully the mediaeval form of language is blended with tho modern": " Now, by my halidom ! ' quoth the barkeeper, thou shuJt not have another gm-ilz until thou hast settled for the last round.' 'liow, niw, Vanctt' npake lteginald do Montrose, 'wouldat insult tho honor ol mine ancient name? In sooth, thou hast an evil tonsuc, and my sword shall cleave thy catqiio m twain, an thou saidst another word. L prithee, Kt'id'e kniRlit,' spake the barkeeper, lioot not oft" thy chin so loudly, lest ttio peeler out.-idc .-iioukl tumble to the racket, and puU tha house. " "How's that?" said Mr. Higgins. The editor admitted thera was considerable blending in the style. " Now," said the poet, " I propose- to revolu tionize the whole system of reporting newa by converting it into poetry. Now, suppose, for instance, I was dispatched to write up tha meeting of a scientific society, I would work it up something in this stylo:" "The Academy of Science convened tho othar day, And slum; around the science In a sclentlrlo way. Old I'cl-rwi'.-j entertained tho gang: with what few facts he k.iew. On Ite!ii!ls of Deep dea Soundlnjrs on tho ooartof .Kalamazoo,' Mickey llkkey read a paper on tho ' Carbonlforiu Group,' And Dr. Hump exhibited some fossil oyster soup. Professor Jones palavered then with fluency aau eaeu On " Experiments In Polarizing? Light by Means of (. h-esw , " Another duffer spoke about the 'Theory of Blla,' And ' Alluvial Depceits at the Sources of tha Nile.' 'The ISttect of the Klectno Light ou Deliquescent i ats, ' Tho 2IiU mutton of the Speciss Kiiown. as Bojfe- ball BiiH,' 'On Aliutropie Forms of Gin Found In the Osoao Hell.' 'On Traces in Ilobokcn of the Pre-IIiatorlc Celt.' These were all submitted by some SclontitlcxdnLs, Who used a ream of legal cap, regardless of ox- ponse.' " "Now, isn't that an improvement on tho present stylo?" said tho gifted being. Tho editor conceded that tho stylo would ba apt to attract attention. "I will now give you," said the literary phenomenon, "something in the lesthotio line, that ior wealth or imagery would paralyze j Oscar Vt'i " IJut bore the editor explained ' that he was so overwhelmed with his visitor's genius that ho would b forced to discoutinuo the interview, and by deftly inserting his ( hands on the inside of the stranger's paper collar intimated to him that ho might withdraw, at least the versatile genius so construed the editor's meant ng, when ho picked himself up at tho foot of tho stairs. Be buks to read tho supplement to thi week's i&iue cent out with sample copia.