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THE SUNDAY HERALD.SUNDAY, MCA.Y 31, 1891.
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Seventh Street N. W.
We can't afford to have our business controlled by the weather. Business must go on, regardless of the
elements. Time is fleeting and soon the season will end. We have applied the lever to start the stuff and our
Mammoth Spring Stock will have to move. Prices now below par, and if you miss the opportunity to get an
outfit now you'll have only yourself to blame. Below we mention a few only of the many good things we have
in store for you.
MEN'S FORM-PITTING- PANTS.
Those now marked $5.00, reduced to $3-62.
Those now marked $3.50, reduced to $2.60.
Pants that are marked $2.50 will go at S1.S7.
And one lot of Pants, about 110 pairs,
81. 87 a Pair, k
They are worth just about double.
One-third off on all Men and Boy's
This is the most sensible as well as the most useful souvenir ever offered by any business house. It is no
less than a complete Medicine Chest and Surgical Outfit, arranged in such a small compass that it can be carried
in one's pocket. The contents are such medical and surgical appliances as are necessary for immediate use in cases of
sudden illness or accident. Explicit directions, printed in 6 languages, accompany each of these Pocket Dispensaries.
Every Purchaser of Not Less Than $2.50 Will Be
BAB'S LITTLE SERMON.
SHE PKEACHES PJIETXIX.V, WISE I.Y,
AND. ALAS ! TOO TRUTBI'UI.IiY.
Sbo I'lmls Woman at the Curd Table and
.From, the Hem arks of THree of Her
Sex Slio Gives :i Sormonctto on Woman
Woman Cautions of Wouian '.'Will
She Kite the Hand That Helps Her ?
Special to The Sunday HEitAiiD.
New Yop.k, May 29. People are getting
tired of going to the theatre; they are tired of
going to teas, but they never seem to got tired
of playing cards. If you want to see lovely
woman at her best, or her worst, watch her at
the card table. You will then see how easy it
is for her to be dishonest, and how greedy she
is. You will then sec what an immense
amount of cheek she has, and how she will
TU6hinto a game about which she knows
nothing, and of which she declines to bo
taught anything. If you have any predilec
tion for whist you have undoubtedly met the
young woman who is "so fond of the game,"
but who will tell you nine times out of ten
that bhe really has not played it very much.
She commences operations by stiaightening
out her hand upon the table, making a pile of
spades and a pile of clubs, a pile of hearts,and
a pile of diamonds, until from knowing your
own hand and making a general guess about
the others, you are pretty certaiu as to what
she holds. After she has lost three tricks, by
Throwing low cards where she should have put
iigh ones, she very vaguely ask6, "Oh, what
did you say was trumps V" Her mind satis
fled about this, she proceeds, when she is the
last player, and the deuce of trumps would
have taken the trick, to put ou a king and
then to say, "I never believed in sending a
3oy to do a man's errand."
I'LAYINCi HEAltTS WITH A ULONDE.
I don't blame you if you take to drink 1
don't blame you if you hate all womankind,
tut I enjoy seeing you the next evening
TThen you are to play hearts with a sweet
Wondc woman in a gown of heavenly blue.
She says she has played the game several
limes, and she's pretty sure she knows all
about it; but she asks you confidentially,
"Oughtn't I to lead my highest cards first V"
You're charmed at having such an intelligent
partner, but your eyes open a little when sho
leads the ace of hearts, follows it up with a
king, then dances out the knave, and eventu
ally she has all thirteen hearts in her pile,
There's no use trying to teach this woinau to
play hearts; you can never make her under
stand that the policy of the game is to get rid
of them no, indeed. She thinks that she has
Achieved the mott when she Is gathering in
ibe ruby red cards and paying out her chips.
PUETTl' WOMAN AT l'OKEIi. ,
Another type of woman to be dreaded at the
eard table is the tender-hearted one. She was
at her bast the other night when a jackpot was
loHbe fore, and ithad been opened for twenty-
T.A. INTZIE R,
five cents. Everybody was in it and every
body was prepared to bet pretty heavily, when
the tender-hearted lady 6ald: "Now, children,
I'm not going to let you be cheated; there's no
possibility of anybody beating my hand, and
so there's no use in my taking any more of
your money." The natural conclusion was
that she had a royal flush. Had sbo ? When
that marvelous hand, that was to beat every
bodj waB laid down it was a straight, jack
high ! Tho woman opposite her held four
aces, a man had a full hand, queen high, and
another one held four treys. A madder party
than this you never saw in your life. And
THE WOMA' WHO HELD I'OUB ACES
gave her friend a piece of her mind. Said she:
"When you don't know how to play a game
don't fool away the time and upset tho tem
pers of people who do, and when you are
playing cards don't get too tender-hearted.
Keep that sort of feeling for tho seclusion of
your family and for your sewing society. I
don't care if you do cry; if you don't know
how to play tho game you havo no business to
make things uncomfortable for other people,
and if you want to learn then you ought to be
willing to endure disappointments until you
find out the right way. You've Droken up the
game; you've made everybody feel miserable;
I feel as if I had been a brute to you, and yet
I think you are a consummate idiot." Then
they both cried, and tho men said they would
go and have a game of billiards. And later in
tho ovening, when they came back, they found
tho two women as friendly as possible, and ou
her way home tho one who had broken up tho
game oaid to tho men who formed her escort:
"Kato is such a dear thing ! You know she
haB got a quick way of speaking, but sbo
wouldn't do a mean thing to savo her bouI 1"
And one of tho men said: "By George ! that's
beautiful for one woman to say about another."
And the unlucky card-player answered: "Well,
it's true. She speaks her mind sometimes,
but to-night I really think I deserved it." And
every man in tho party positively said: "You
DAltK on uonT women?
The English newspapers havo brought up a
curious question for discussion. It is this;
"In your experience have dark or light women
been tho most faithful ?" Three women sat
down to discuss this tho other ovening. Said
number oue, who happoned to be a blonde,
pretty and young: "I havo never found but
three women who wero absolutely faithful to
mo In my life, and they wero rather neutral in
their coloring, One had brown hair that
wasn't quite dark, another had light hair that
wasn't quite blonde, and the third had gray
hair. Tho first one had been my friend when
wo were children together, and tho friendship
lasted absolutely until death did us part. Tho
second one was a woman In whoso society I
found pleasure, and tho third was my mother.
Ou my visiting book there aro tho names of
hundreds of women. If they were asked if
they wero my friends they would say 'yes,'
and yet to-morrow, f I needed a woman
friend, I should go to the one who likes me
because I am a pleasant companlpn, or to my
The 40c. quality will go at 25 c.
The 50c. quality at 35c.
And the best French Balbriggan Underwear at $1.42 a
suit ; worth $2.00.
GREAT BARGAINS IN MEN'S HALP-HOSE.
Neglige Shirts, about 60 different styles. Prices range
from 25c. to $4.00 each ; every one a bargain.
OUR BOY'S DEPARTMENT.
Boys' Knee Pants, all sizes, 25c.
Bo3rs' Navy Blue Flannel Pants, 50c.
Boj's' All-wool Cassimere Pants, 75c. ; sixes 4 to 14. Pit
Presented With One of These Souvenirs.
mother. But I would much prefer to go to a
a woman's essay on woman.
Another woman, a woman with brown hair
and brown eyes, then gave her experience.
She said: "I had a curious education about
women; girls wero very scarce in our family
and wo were all taught to think them of great
valuc. If you could do anything to give
pleasure to a woman, if you could help her by
pleasant words,"by deeds, or in any way what
ever, then it was more than a kindness to her,
it was a courtesy to yourself. That was tho
theory upon which I started out in life, and
tho result is that though materially I am not
black and blue, spiritually I am. Tho woman
to who I gave the helping hand usually
finished up tho performance by biting the
hand. Tho woman to whom I gave a certain
amount of affection and consideration and
kindness was usually the one who said the
most dreadful things about me, who thought I
had a reason for everything I did, and who
was firmly convinced that I was entirely selfish
in my desire to assist her. No woman friends ?
Well, very fow, and they are women for whom
I have done nothing, with whom it Is merely
a question of general liking. Tho woman for
whom you do a good deed Immediately con
cludes sho wants to cut your acquaintance,
why, I don't know, except that she Is liko a
certain kind of mongrel dog, tho females of
which can never meet without having a row.
Faithfulness with mo has not been a matter of
complexion, faithlessness has been a general
WHO AJtE THE THUEST WOMEN 'i
Tho third woman, who had kept very auiet,
and who was neither dark nor light, but of
the typo so common in this country, that of
light-brown hair and dark-brown eyes, slowly
said: "Well, I've been curious enough to
watch, and it has been a matter of complex
Ion with me. Women who aro unwomanly,
who aro deceitful, who wero liars, mischievous
ones, and who had no senso of houor what
ever, wero usually women who were either
extremely dark or extremely light, Between
itles didn't Beem to count. A very blondo
woman by her wicked toiiguo upset my life
for at least 6lx months. A very dark woman
by her lack of honor made mo lose belief In
all womankind except mothers. Nowadays,
if I havo got a secret that I must toll some
body, I tell It to a man. If I am In a bit of
trouble where I must havo tho sympathy of a
woman,! toll it to my mother, and If I need
help in anything I should ask one of these two.
do women deseiive this?
Now, theso women were not anything but
agreeable women, conslderato women, and
polite women, yet the greatest hurts they had
over had had come from women, so had the
greatest rudeness and the greatest misunder
standing. It didn't make them disagreeable
to all women, It simply made them beware of
women. The trouble has been here, that
woman has been put on a pedestal and her
virtues oxtoled until man seemed a yery
miserable specimen besldo her. Now it is
just about time that the was knocked off this
Our Shirt Waists are well made ; guaranteed to fit per
fectly, and all colors washable and will not fade.
25c, 50c, and 75c
These are extraordinary good values.
It is hardly necessary to mention our own make of Pine
White Dress Shirts. They are being advertised better by
those who have given them a trial than we could do. .
IOok at one, open it out, and you'll buy it. Price, 50c.
pedestal and a little common senso beat into
her head. When I want to do any worship
ing I am going to worship a man; he's bigger,
stronger, more naturally better looking, has
a greater respect for the truth, and decidedly
more charity for one's weaknesses. If I
couldn't get a man to worship, I think I
would give my affection to a dog, but cer
tainly not to a woman.
YOU-THINK THAT SOUNDS NASTY.
Take up the question that is in tho English
papers and think it over: "Who among your
women friends havo found you most faithful,
blondes or brunettes ?" and you will be sur
prised to find that it isn't a question usually of
complexion, but that woman to her sister
woman is generally about as faithful as tho
original serpent. "Oh," says somebody, "you
are Irritated about something." No, I am
not. I am sitting on the outsido of a nine
teenth century Garden of Eden and watching
Llllth and Eve talk together, while I am giv
ing thanks that at least I am sensible enough
not to bo in it. "Well," says somebody,
"you certainly must think there aro some good
women." Some good women ! Thank God,
there aro millions of them, but they ore not
tho women who go in for tho ecstatic friend
ships; thoy aro tho ones whoso friendship has
grown in years with you; tho friendship that
springs up liko a weed in tho night deserves
to bo jerked up and thrown away tho next
WOMEN 01" WHOM TO HEWAltE,
Beware of tho woman, my deaf girl, who
tolls you all about herself when you first meet
her. Beware of tho woman who announces to
you that sho never said a disagreeable word
about another woman. Gracious, goodness I
tho air will bo green when sho docs begin.
The 'woman who novor says a disagreeable
word is liko tho dog who never barks ho
bites, and ho bites to poison. Bowaro of tho
woman who is over-rich in her caresses to you;
by all tho laws of nature a woman ought to
kiss a man, and sho Is wasting tho time of two
women when sho fools about this sort of
THE WOMEN WE WANT TO LOVE.
There aro women we love, women wo loye
and trust and who love and trust us, women
who care for us through ovory woe that may
come, who aro joyful with us and who don't
misunderstand us, women who take eiderdown
and wrap it about tho skeleton in our closets
so that we may never hear tho horrible bones
rattle. Theso women are moro than friends;
thoy aro mothers. Nobody else can do that;
no woman in tho world is over enough your
friend to bo to you what your mother Is, and
if you don't realize that to-day you will to
morrow, or 60motlmoscon, and if youhaven'fc
been to her what you ought to bo you will go
off, hide your head, and wonder what made
you so blind, You will shod many a bitter
tear over this, and shed them in Yaln.
THE TEXT VIIOM AVHIOII BnE PREACHES.
It sounds a little bit liko a sermon, doesn't
It ? Well, we all havo our times for sermoniz
ing, and it's meant tobeaklndlyllttlu,sormon;
it's meant to be said to each one of you, look
Picks for Early Callers.
ing straight into your eyes with a heart full of
kindness and thankfulness. It seems to you
a bit like somebody who wears tho cap and
bells drawing tho crowd with tho janclo and
then preaching. Hasn't tho fool's sermon
often been a good one ? And this sermon
which is told from the talk of three women
about other women has ended up with a very
old text, which reads, "Honor thy father and
thy mother," but what tho preacher wants to
emphasize is to "honor your mother." She
suffered for you, sho loves you, and sho knows
you, her woman child, as nobody else in tho
world docs. Just think over tho text with me,
and then maybe you will pray, as I do, that
when death walks into tho house to put his
cool and restful hands on tho eyes that are so
tired ho may chooso you first, because you
would be friendless without your mother.
WHEIIE SEKMONB AUE IN SENTENCES.
There aro a good many things that deserve
to bo honored that don't get it. If you honor
and are polite to your children they will give
you honor and respect In return.
If you honor and aro polito to thoso you
employ you will get honor and respect In re
turn. If you honor and aro polito to tho traveler
you meet by land or sea you will get respect
and consideration for what you havo given.
It you honor and respect tho laws of a
State or of a corporation you havo a right to
If you honor and respectovcry man, woman,
child, baby, and dog that you meet in your
walks, if you givo them tho courtesy duo, then
you can be very certain that politeness and
respect will bo shown you by everything that
passes you by.
Tho dog you kick Is going to bite, the
woman you aro rudo to Is going to. snub you,
tho child you don't consider worth politeness
is going to be impertinent to you, and right
straight through life whoro you give honor
and respect you will get them in return; many
times a lcavon of real liking will bo added.
Honor and respect tho preacher her Inten
tions aro honorable, and if her sermon has
fallen a little Bhort of tho conventional typo
remember that tho seminary through which
sho has gone has beon that hard ono called the
World, where tho Flesh stands on ono Bldo and
tho Dovil on tho other, and to keep tho evil
spirits away you havo to hit out straight and
hard from tho shpulder. Tho text is good;
tho sermon is meant to bo, so because of what
was intended bo charitable to tho preacher
who does not daro to put prefix or affix to her
name, but calls herself only Bah.
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windmills, etc. Everything ready to begin a
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circumstances. Can bo bought cheap, as owner
Is going abroad. For price and particulars ap
ply to F. Benjamin,
012 F street northwest.
At tho Bellvue Dairy Farm you can buy
bottled milk, pure and fresh.
Driuk Tannhauser beer. II. Bonzler.