Evening bulletin. [volume], August 19, 1911, 3:30 EDITION, Ad Section, Image 15

About Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912

Image provided by: University of Hawaii at Manoa; Honolulu, HI

                
Bulletin Want
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,Ye om English smbeOn
joraan ana umer 1 nings
The following papers were founi
recenuy unci urougnt into Tlio llul-
1 1 1 ii ofllco. They nro yellow with
ngo, mid evidently wore brought
across hy one of the early Kngllsh
discoverers of the islands They nio
written .'In the old Kngllali style,
which lends to the belief that tlicy
were n rcllo passed down from somo
early generation. Parts of them form
Interesting rending and aro given
below:
Ye gieat peace loctlirer. Dr. Dnvid
Starr Jordan, who poureth out yo
words of wisdom In such profound
and mighty manner that ye poor per
sonn who sit In yo seats aro so over
come with yo peaceful sound of ye
great doctor's volco that they aro Uko
to drop off Into oleep, was in Hono
lulu this week;.
It was yo great and glorious occa
sion and great was yo rush for seats
at vn rooms ot'yo I'uhllc Service
Iluieau. On yo afternoon of yo lec
ture day many of ye populace were
turned away from ye rooms disap
point!. b if Ye balcony will he open at
nlEht," mm yn refialn of yc hard
worked l'rofessor Ilryan, "and such
an can ho sealed .will bo accommo
dated." Whon yo night camo around
there was woeful dlstippoluuuent
among those of .ye' 'populace;' 'who
were perfoico seated In yo balcony,
ilmvn below they could efen sco
many empty seats, and they were soro
disposed to get hot under ye collar.1
Likewise yo heroic youths who nro
cnlled Boy Scouts forgot to place
upon their feet ye shoes with rubber
soles that do not make any noise, and
yo assemblage In yo balcony fnlted
to hear many parts of yo Interesting
discourse.
Yo great doctor spoke of yo many
advantages 'of universal pence, and
pointed out yo fact that war of yo
future would become ye matter of
Impossibility. Yo poptiluco went
nwny and continued their sleep in ye
more comfortable beds and read je
account In ye paper next morning
which c stenographer took down for
yo Haiuls;Around-ye-PnclHc Club to
publish and which was lent to yc
morning paper. Whereupon they
threw up their hands and exclaimed
"Splendid!''
Kven while 'ye great doctor was
ill Inking water and making himself
ready for -his- -speech, somo of ye
gentlemen at yo back"'of yo 'stage
held a meeting of yo dlnmetrlcally
oppnsllu style. Yo electrician was In
jo hurry, and iye man who helps
llandiiiastcr liergor 'a males beauti
ful nolso was not. Therefore jo
electrician picketh up yo man of
music and throw cth him down je
stairs, cutting open hys head. In
front jo great doctor and great audl
enen listened or dreamed to ye words
if peace and wolted not of yo war
that was eon going on at '0 back.
(. Llkowlso no sooner lias yo great
..etor got upon yo ship again and
Balled away than news cnmctli
thiough that ye great fleot of war
vessels Is coming In chase of him.
Likewise that theio will be no play,
for jo bojs In blue must oven pre
pare themselves for yo war time.
Onn of jo ofllrinls In high circles
had je great experlcnco ye other
illicit, and oven might huve gotten
himself Into jo bad reputation did
other tnwsfo1ks,not know that ho waB
not one of yo bunch of guys that
haunt jn precincts of yo Unlou Grill
during times-when ye cocks delight
in making yo biggest noise.
Yn whole of yo trouble lay with
yo tliler of ye automobile. Ye
jinitli set hys alarm clock nnd forgot
to wlml It up. Yo olDcIul, who was
to meet ye good steamer Claudlne,
rrawled out or bed at ye hair after
lio and wondered what had hap
pened Ho uing yo telephone and
npoko In words of rcpioach to y'e
driver of ye chug wagon, who salth
that ho had even mnilo yo awrul mis
take and had been waiting for yo
telephono message. " ' '
Yo high 'oftlcial got to yo wharf
loo Into foryo passenger ho was to
meet, and then onco moro he told yo
youth nt yn Bteerlug wheel of yo biuz
wugon thoughts that wern even run
ning In his mind nt that time and
which had special lofornnco to yo
Eamo youth. Wherefore 'ho ordered
that ho should run lilm about yo city
until ho should find o fair maid
whciefor he looked. Yo couplo riib
Jeod Into eery one of yo eating
shops and also Into hotels, but could
11ml no trace. At last ye. man on yo
wharf told yn high ofllclnl wjiero ye
luggagn nf yo fair muld wns going
to, nnd lo nnd behold It wns to ye
high nniclul'B own placo. ,
Finally ho discovered yo fair innld
on Punchbowl hillside nnd escorted
her homo In yn street rnr. During
yo time ho left yo house In yo first
pluco and that when he wns finally
-ready to set put for ye oUlco yo high
otlltjlal used much language that was
or n blue and lilnk variety, built a
chicken houso nnd changed his. shirt
Ihlee limes Uisllj-, In spite nt nil,
ho had jo miny merry Binllo on when
ho blow Into ye ofllco and found that
yo boys hnd ovon been doing all yn
work Just yo same as though ho lint
uecn ttiero.
Yo presidency of yo Hoard of
Health caused much enjoyment for
je town during yo week, and also
much food for redaction. In yo llrst
lilnco hot air merchants felt that jo
opportunity ofyye lifetime was bo
foro them and that they could pour
out Inside dopo Into yo unwilling ears
oi yo innominate listeners, aim tuns
enjoy themselves heartily. Yo novvs
pnpcrR mado much copy out of yo
whole affair, and yo town generally
had ye good time.
Yo most poculldY part of yo wholo
proceeding wag yo way In which yo
political part of yo whole scheme,
came out. Onco before when It was
mentioned In ye newspapers that yo
Hoard of Health olllclats had a vote
and that they cicn ns much us knew
yo meaning of ye word politics, yo
whole town threw up its nrms In hor
ror at ye mere thought of ye thing,
Ye Morning Knocker assureth ye peo
plo that jo board was free from iiid-
tliltig of 'ye like nature and that ye
Hoard of Health should bo kept-so,
Now, however, when ye whole situa
tion depends on .who je Republican
conuuittec should elect', yo Morning
Knocker remalneth silent and swul-
iowetll with n smile' yo pill that yo
mild committee haudeth out to It.
Yo only man who' was not je poli
tician and who ye politicians could
get no hold on wns Dr. Pratt, and
therefore they worked In yv hard
manner ngalnst jo doctor. He wns
backed by yo quitting president, 'Mott-
Hmlth, nnd also by yo Idol of ye
populace, Dr. Hobdy, but yo cry rose
up that If yo committee appointed
him yo doctor would hnvo no Btrlngs
to pull and ye houses of all would
have to be cleaned up.
Likewise yo sugar plnntera, who
had a grudgo against ye doctor for
ye cleansing of ye Filipinos, pulled
hard at je rope. And yet yo popular
Idea Is that politics cannot survlvo
111 je iloard of Health building nnd
that je disinfectants would kill it
oven as yo bad germ.
Ye blylhsomo youth who bath taken
up yo work of yo old Sidelights in yo
Morning Knocker showeth off his
evor-ready wlt-ln Bomeof "yo articles
In which ho dclighteth to "put it
over" ye evening papers. Last week
yo bljthsomo youth seemcth In especially-
humorous mood, nnd those of
yo public who breuketh ye Sabbath
by lying In lied and rending yo snld
Morning Knocker no doubt wero
mightily tickled at yo remarks of
Sidelights,
An old friend of mine had ye say
ing that no ono can telleth ye purity
of jo hen's egg hy ye examination of
yo shell. Yo remark npplieth to ye re
marks of yo blythsomo youth. Under
neath all yo rippling wit lay deep and
rankling sore, for ye blythsomo youtn
was badly stung during jo previous
week by one of ye evening papers.
It liappeneth in yo rollowlng man
ner. Yo document in yo most iniKin
aut case wns llled In yo Circuit Court
nt yo hour of flvo p. in., but yo blyth
somo youth, who posscsscth ye great
Blore of perspecnlty, nnd who can al
ways 1111 jo pages or yo Morning
Knocker with bright front-pago
stories, had neglected during ye edu
cation ho hath received ut ye bandit
or jo eumlng papers to take notice
or yo ract that although ye record
olllco closes nt ye hour or hair-past
rour o'eloVk, documents can be llled
at yo later hour.
Now yo scrlbo of yo evening pnper
tnketh notice or yo said document
and telleth ye readers or hys paper
that yo Morning Knocker bnlli for
gotten to mention yo fact or je Im
portant case being llled when It put
tetli Its paper full of yo front-page
stories before ye uncomplaining anil
long-sultorlng public. Thereat ye
blythsome youth was mad and sworo
revenge on ye evening paper scribe.
Ye next day ho telleth yo same poor
old public that two certain ilocumentB
wero llled yo previous morning, thoro
by Intimating that ye evening papers
had missed yo good front-page stories,
"ii per usual." As ye matter or ruct,
yo documents wero filed In ye after
noon, nnd yo blytliBome youth had
mado direct misstatements In ordor
to have yo editor or ye ovenlng paper
get yo goat or yo poor searcher or
nows.
Yo connection between yo rippling
wit or yo blythsomo youth and ya
renson ror running yo front pages
or yn ovenlng papers down oxplaluoth
Itsoir.
ST. LOUIS, Mo, Aug. S. Aviator
Horace w, Kcarnej- nf New York, while
making a descent, fell with n biplane
of his o.vn design here this evening
nnd wns rinnKernuslv Injured He had
Mown a distance nt mi altitude, of 1000
feet
While yet TM feet up he shut off Ills
power nnd attempted to nnko a glide
at nn nmilo of about 4r. degrees. When
200 feet up Kearney, In tittcmptlng to
'avoid f.nmo trollev wires, lost control
nnd tho machine, turned over nnd fell
upon Dm aviator.
jom l; smnfUN
John L. Sullivan and hl.s latent wlfo
liao returned from their honeymoon
In Huropo. Now the famous old gladl-
ator saVs he's golip to retire to n
rarm, pommuno with nature ami write
somo hack-to-thc-soll artleles. Annie
U. Sullhnu or Ceiilcnllle, It. I., llrst
w lfo of John U, snj'S she know'3 until-
Ing of the divorce which he Is s.ilil lo
NEW YORK POLICE
ELUSIVE "TAXICAB THIEVES
MWMWi KjprjprTwri? iaj
JlkllHC AKi'llJIIIIIIIISIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHl IIIIIIIHwllllllHIHI a4,i0BTMIIIH
4!'4 iff wrMH(kv('UMHHilf lULlB S.& fc XBiMhMi fM
JilBgsv-rxM.VJm'SrT: ZW:..:,: .-aJL v.i-rrrrf J
. w : .-T ) . i - v kK i TH:..(.i,ii.r j ji."'" .-. vii.iii.'rin
ki'iTflnmlf tf &nm ,i. A-;i 1 riw, ..j
jlT
N13W YOKIC This city Is gieatly
disturbed ncr a now funu or robbery
which linn appeared hcie. Tho thieves
are even moro up to date than the
celehruU'd "Unfiles," because they op-
erato hy menliB of a taxlcab. Tho
dailng men diliu up to a store, leuv-
Ing n limn In tho-iiutn to start it ahead
at full Sliced. They enter tho stuie,
echo the cash drawer's contents at
pistol's, point mid dart ijulckly Into
thn tuxl. wllrh soon placid them bu-
yond pursuit. In tho case of tho bold
rohbeiy of Jacoby's jew ell y store,
A DAINTY T01XET ARTICLE.
Every lady who desires to keep
up Ier attractlvo appearance, while
at tho Theater, attending Itecep-
tlons, when shopping, while travel
ing nnd on all occasions should
carry In hor pur no n booklet of
GOU!tAUlVS ORIENTAL 11HAUTY
' I.KAVKS. Tills Is a anility Uttlo
booklet or exquisitely perfumed pow.
dered leaves which nro easily re.
moved and' applied to the skin. It
Is invaluable when tho rn'Mieromci
illK'lKtkv'li
HIiHfti&k,: , m. fZ, i.l-'y'Srjoi
.Esi
AND NEW WIFE "BACK TOTHE FARM"
have obtained from her In Chicago Injho tells mo th.it thoro nro no pnporH
190S. Sho has s.ild shu does not coil'
shier hcrn-lf the divorced wlfo of the
ox-chaiiiplnn, but his wife, and th.it
she has wiltleti lo the clerk or tho
Suiiorior Court nt Chicago .inking ror
u copy of tlio pjpers In the alleged
dlwirco proceedings. ''I got u letter
from the clerk," she Said. "In which
ARE AFTER
'-v-i
H-W, xW)--i
A'rf..,;.. ww.v4xi'ti. .W.v.
Sixth avenue, mid Thirteenth street.
' UwV uroke tho front window, seized
""u' W01" (,r J'. M'l dead .la-
vam ,n tu, Kox, 10J. (.l')tul.c
ItoRenhaum's shoo stole In llleecker
Bticet, hut weio ropulhed In uttemplH
to rob tho cush diawer. ltoseiibiiiiiii,
Bhot at several times, n.iiiuwlv eH-
caiied with his llfo. lnspeclnr Hughes.
the joungest Insiiecloi' on the New
York pollio force, Is making ilesper-
uto ufTurtH to bienk up thu gang of
holdup men. Ho lias placed mi the
task every iivnllable man on his staff.
moist and flushed and Is far sirpvlw
to npowilcr puff as it docs not spill
nnd soil the clothes.
It removes dirt, soot nnd grease
rmm the face, Imparting a cool, del.
icato bloom to flio coniploxlnn. Sent
anywhero on receipt ot Ton Conla
In fctnmps pr coin. V. T. HOPKINS,
37 Oreat Jones street. New York.
Inter-Isliuid ami O. It. & L. Shipping
boks for sale nt the H u 1 1 1 1 n
ittlcn, nOi" each
with my hlguaturo or anything on
fill, nuil I don't bcllcio that hu cer
got n dUorce, If the clerk of the court
has nothing to show for It." Tho
couplo wero married In Itoxbury,
Mass, In 1SS2, ami lived apart many
juars Sullivan's imuri.ige lo Mlsrf
Kate Hnrklas took place In lloton.
u
ii
HUIi:, l'a, J. C. Mars. Amoricnn
aviator, known mound the world ns
"Hud" Mars, who was badly hurt In
a rail while mailing a flight here, re
cently completed n globe-glrdllug
lour, during which he g.iwi neiophinn
exhibitions In many oriental coun
tries. Miuh fnmioily was a. il.neilmll
high diver, ti.ipee performer nnd
aeronaut. Ho Is now woll ami flying
ngalii.
BY C. S. ALBERT.
(HlKcl.il Mullet In Cnrri-simnduioe,)
' UAHIIIS'dTO.V, 1), C, Aug 7 -Of-
llcirs of the United States cnxiilry must
hnproo thglr horseinaiishli, and plans
me on foot to luiiho the ununited
hiniii'hcH nf the American nrmy tho
eiiial In illlileiicy of uiiy In the world.
Tho War Dtpiulnieiit li.iri Jusf IshiIpiI
lUHtructlmis lo nil dhlnlon oniiu.inders
to ImpreHH inieil tho Hi hi otlkeis nnd
captnii! uf tho mounted lirniuhis t lint
It Is their Imp. ratlvo duly lo iiii.iliry
In eiiulthllou In nil ict.put lu tho
c.iso of nn ulllctr who Is Incapable of
thoiouKbl) iiallflliK llliuself, thu fuel
will be noted on tlio "elllchncy rcpoits"
whleli nro Hindu to tlio War Impart
ial nt, ns liulkntliig llu Inch of an es
soin il for the mounted . nice This
maj iiltliiuili-ly le,ul to Jili. rillrcuyjil.
Thu cniKiiMir to linpiovo horvipiiu-
IE DEMAND NOW
MM I IMillAM
BILL IS A
BY C. S. ALBERT.
(Fpfclnl I) u lie tin Curreioiiilence.)
WASHINGTON I). (., Aug 7.
Senator Dillingham, furmoily chair
man or the Senate Committee on Im
migration nnd also Cliali man or tho
liiimlgtatlon Coniiiilrslou which pic
sciited ItB lloal ioiurt In Cmigiess ut
thu Inst session, indaj Introduced a
geueial liutiilgiatlou hill which pio
poses ninny mltioi and smer.il rndlcnf
thnnges In existing Immigriitlou law.
nio bill also prepoj-cs the icie.il of
tho Clilucso exclusion laws, except
so far as they i elate to naturaliza
tion, and substitutes theiefor an
amendment to the Immigration law
wlilili provides for the exclusion from
the United States or "persons who
aro not eligible to ln-como i lllr-cns of
I tho United Stnles by naturalization,"
unless such persons nre already ex
cluded by trcatj or otherwise. (in
criiineiit olllcors, traelleis ami mem
leis of the leal lied piofesslolin, lion
oier, nro admitted lo tlia United
Stales regardless of their ellglhlllty
to citizenship by untiirallzitlon Vari
ous fc.itutps of tho present Chinese
exclusion laws aro mado applicable to
all Immigrants, and except for tho
fact that manual laborers not ellgl-l
bio to eltlzenshlii by naturalization
nr excluded. Hie Mil proposes to glvo
Asiatic Immigrants Hie same leg-il
Hiatus accorddl to all oilier Imnil
gianls. The only section nf the nrl
ous Chinese oxcJiudoiLlnwR not u
iea Is thnt section or tho act ot
IS82 which pi in Ides (hat no Statu
couit or court nt tlio United States
shnll admit Chinese to citizenship.
Literacy Test.
Senator Dillingham's bill also pin
vldes ror tho oxcluslon from tho
United Stutos ot "all in.ilo aliens six
teen jeais or age or tnur, who aro
pbjslc.Uly capable or leading and
writing, but who aro unablo to lead
mid wiitc in somo language or dia
lect." It provides, however, that an
udmlssablo alien may In lug In his
father or grandfather over Utty-llvo
years or ago, or a son hot over eight
een j cars of age. whether such ier
soiib are Utcruto or not. Tho bill
makes It unlawful for any steamship
.companies to bilng to the United
States any Illiterate alien of the class
mentioned, or, wfl lithe exceptions
noted, any alien not ellglblo to natur
alization, and it is provided (hat If It
shall appear to I ho satisfaction ot tlio
Secretary r Commerco and Ijihor
Hint theso disabilities miglit have
been detected by the exercise or rea
sonable piecaiitlous' prior lo the de
parture or such nllens fium a foreign
pint, tho trnnspoitallon company or
perion bringing them shall 1h) subject
to h flue of one hundred dollars for
every violation. '
Boards of Inquiry,
The bill proposes an luiKrtnnt
change In tho chmaclcr ami manner
or appointment or boards of seclal
Inquiry, which boards n.iss mum Mm
iidmlssnblllty of aliens. Under tho
present law tlii'Mj ho.iuls, w'hlch eon
itt or Ihreo poisons, aro appointed
bj- Ilio comuilKHhmers or Immigration
ut tho vnrlous ports and nro compos
ed of such inimlgiatloii olllclals as
tho ComnilssloncrIeneriil or Immi
gration with (lie npprovnl or thu Sec
ictnry or Commerco ami I.iuor may
uesignalo Tor such service. Senator
Ulllliigliuin'H bill provides that such
hoards shall lie ppjulnted hy tlie See
retnty or Commerce ami Ijihor ami
nhall consist or "persons whoso abil
ity and Untiling lit them ror tho judi
cial junctions performed."
The bill rotalus the contract lalmr
provision of tho Immigration law
pinctlcnlly In Hk present form, but
adds to tho .excluded cl.ist.es "'i
snns who have come In cnnsemiiMit'o
or ndvertlseineulH ror manual labor
era pi luted, published, or distributed
lit a foreign coimtrjV' and provides
for the criminal prosecution or cor
porations, companies or liersons who
oollclt or nssUt in the linjHirlatlou of
conlracst laborers. The provision of
tho present law which permits die
Importation of skilled Inlxir If lalxir
of a llko unemployed cannot bo round
In (his country, Is amended so as In
permit the Secrelnry or Commerco
and Labor to ilnleimluo tho necessity
for such Importation pi lor lo Its ac
complishment. Strengthen Present Law.
Tho bill proM)ses to strengthen I ho
llinKmit lilu tllrnlllfit C.IImII l.i.t ..H ...-
couraglng aliens to comn to tho Unit
. cd Stales by providing that any per
j son violating tho saiuo shall bo sub
ject io an administrative lino of rour
hundred dollars ror each violation.
Tho hill further provides that when
ever It shall bo hliown to the satis
faction or tho President of tho Unit
ed Stales thnt this provision or tho
law is being persistently violated by
or on behalf or any tr.iuspoiUitlnii
company ho Mial! havo tho power to
deny to such company the prlvllego
;. 4. ... .. .? f. ... . . a. , . .,
ship Is coincident with (ho 'depart
Hit id's ifTort lo proeuru u bitter grndo
of mounts for the urmj.
NATURALIZATION
i v?'
DRASTIC MEASURE
or landing p.isBcngors nt United States
ports tor such ii peiiod as In his judg
ment maj bu necessary to Insure, i ,,
proper tihst rvnneo of the law, j
Tho bill pint Ides Dial the Secro
laiy of Commerco nnd Labor may de
tail Immigrant Inspci'tors or illations
for duty In tlio steerage of vessel
carrjlng aliens lo n frnm porta ot
the United Stiles., ami also that lis
may detail sin genus ot tho United
States Public Health and Marine
Hospital Service for duty on audi
ships
Certificates Supplied.
It Is piovldi'd that each alien ad
mitted to tho United .".talis shall be
given a ccitlllcjle of admission and
Identity.
Another new fcitum or tho pro
posed law is thai any allui who Is
leuteuccii to Impilroniiii'tit for it term
of one j ear or more hoeaiKO of mm.
vlclloii In thin couiitr) of n nlnio in
volving moral turpitude, cifmuillti-jlf
wllhlii (lvo je.ira oiler the eutiy ol
tho alien into the Uililod Sfites, shall
bo dcjHHted. Thlj juovluliln, io
cver, (iocs not apply In pertonH who
uro pjiiloued lu) in caketf when; Ilio
eourt Impoiihg feiiteuee reeduinicllds
that ilejurliitJitij slujl nbt btci;iii)
The bill fm liter miiflilris ihat . Jn
nflen who beeom(4 a nibllr- eliarge
Itoin any c.iliM. within tluee joain
attei lauding In the United St:i(es
maj be deKirled in the discretion of
the Secretin j of Commerco and La
bor. It Is also piovldi'd that the Com-mlssloiicr-Ceiicinl
of Immigration
may remove to their native country
at the expenfo of tho United Stntes
aliens who fail Into distress or need
public aid and who uro desliniis or
being so removed.
Willi a view to making effective
the pinvisloiis of law lebillng to tho
pinleetlon or aliens from fraud ami
loss nnd the distribution of aliens, tho
bill provides that tlio Secretary of
Commerce mid Labor shnll establish
Inimlgiaiit statloim nt such interior
places aa may bo necessarj', and that
aliens in transit from ports or laud
ing to such stations may be accom
panied by immigrant Inspectors.'
Allen Seamen Noted.
Boveial sections or (he hill nre de
voted to alien reamon, tho provisions
In Ihls regard belngnpractlcilly Iden
tical with a bill lonoi ted tiulho Sen
ate and House during' the hifct session
or the, ClBt Congress hut not acted
upon Ii) eltbi'r limlv.
Numerous administrative changes
in the piohi'iit law tuo jirooai'd, but
no chaugn s mado 'n tlio liend tax
except that residents nf Diumuda are
exempled from (ho p.-ljincnt of Iho
tnx, a provision whleli now applies
to residents of Canada, Newfound
land, Mexico nnd Cdb.l.
ROYAL FAMILY
a
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KING AND QUEEN
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ALPHONSEAND
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