Newspaper Page Text
THE MILLHEIM JOURNAL,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY Deininger & Bumiller. Office in the New Journal Building, Penn St., near Hart man's foundry. SI.OO PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE, OR $1.26 IF NOT PAID IN ADVANCE. Acceptable Correspondence Solicited Address letters to MILLHKTM JOURNAL. The Outcast's Monody. Bleak winds of winter, sobbing Igid moaning, Pluck not mv rags with your pitiless hand. Here in the darkness, cold and despairing. Homeless and friendless, starving, 1 stand! Scourged bv the white,lev whisps of the tempest, 1 wander"forlorn on ray desolate way- Forgotten of earth, and forsaken of Heaven— Too frozen to kneal. and too hungry to pra> . I look at the stately and palace-like dwellings That line with their grandeur the pathway 1 I fancy the brightness and warmth ot the hearth atoue. The plcntlous board with the meat and the bread; I see the heads bowed with a reverent meaning— A blessing Is brent lied.'er the sumptuous fare: Will it rise to the ear of the pitiful father? Or die of the cold, like the poor outcast s prayer? Hark! the chln.e from the church tower above me, . , Props solemnly down through the whirl of the 1 * storm; Ah, me! could I pass through tne gate to the portal! , , , Slee'n there and dream It .was lighted and War ml No rooui in the dwellings—no room in ihe chut ches— No room in the prison—l've committed no *J . crime- Is there no room in the bed of the river. I wonder. I>ecp down iu the pier,in the ooze of the slime? Meek on, taunting wind! lean laugh you an answer: . .... a . , An hour aud your bitterest breath I 11 defy! Since bars allut me out ot a liome among mor . tut, 111 knoekat the gateof Hod's home in thesky. Yet, no—never—no! Avaunt thee, vile tempter! The hand against life is a cowardly hand ! With Heaven supporting. I'll struggle and tri umph. And find my reward in yon Beautiful Land. THE BABY MYSTERIES. Where did you come from, baby dear? Out of the everywhere into here. Where did you get your eyes of bine? Out of the skies as I came through. What makes the light In them sparkle and spin? Some of the starry spikes left in.£ Where did vouget that little tear ? I found it waiting when I got here. What makes your forehead so smooth and high? A soft hand stroked it as I went by. What makes your cheeks like a warm white rose. I saw something better than any one knows. Whence that three cornered smile of bliss ? Three angels gave me at once u kiss. Where did vou get this pearly ear? God spoke, and it came out to hear. Where did you get thase arms and hands? Love made itself inio hooks and bands. Feet, whence did you come, you darling things? Front the same box as the cherub's wings. How did they all come just to be you? God thought about me, and so I grew. But how did you come to us, you dear? God thought about you, and so i am here. ATTACKED BY STOW AWAYS. Ay, ay, shipmates, I know it is my turn now, so holdup while I get wind, said old Jack Casewell, as we lay be calmed off St. Verne one sultry day in August, and to pass away the time, that hung rather heavily on our bands, were engaged in story-telling. "Let's see," he began, after a mo ment's reflection, "it was in the season of '56, that I hired under old Captain Warrenton, who run a scnooner on the coasts of the Gulf. She was a small craft, of not more than a hundred and fifty tons burdeD, and on the trip I am speaking o! was loaded at Mobile with a cargo for New Orleans. "Besides the skipper and myself, then a lad of only fifteen,there was but one hand. As the craft was easily handled, and the runs short, Captain Warrenton seldom ever shipped more than four ; and on this time, when he got ready to sail, and one of the men couldn't be found, be concluded to start; with me and the other one, a sai lor named Ned Allen, for there was a prospect of a quica and easy passage. "There was great excitement in Mo bile at the time over the escape of a couple of villains from the jail, who bad been recently captured and were waiting trial for murder. 1 don't be • lieve a tougher pair of rascals were ev er found in Alabama than Ruell Victor and Dennis Lorno. They hud killed as many as half a dozen persons, to say nothing of other crimes without num ber of which they were guilty. "You may guess that their escape created no little disturbance, and they were more dreaded than ever. "The authorities did their best to re capture them, but no trace of the des peradoes could be found, and the day we left port three thousand dollars re ward was offered for them, or one-half that sum for either of them. 4 'Well,we had a fair wind for a start, and ran down the bay, standing off be tween the Dauphin and the Point at a bout six. "About that time I had occasion to go into the fore-peak to get some rope yarn. Now we had no forecastle part ed off from the hold, as there was room enough for all in the cabin, and we had this stowaway in between the bows, where we chuckled away our old tium- Pery. "I was hard at work unlaying a piece of rope for the yarns, when I thought I heard a noise among the boxes in the hold. Listening a moment with my ear close to the bulk head, I kuew some one was in there. As tbe captain and Allen were above, I wondered who it could be, and kept perfectly still, to see if I could be. "I was not kept in suspense long,for pretty soon I heard a man speak, and then another answered him. DEININGER & BUMILLER, Editors and Proprietors. VOL. 58. "You may believe I was all atten tion then, and I soon learned that onr passengers were none others than Knell Victor and Dennis Lome, the despera does who had escaped from the Mobile jail ! 44 From what they said, 1 found that they had crawled into the hold and stowed themselves away so well that we had not seen them when we had finished loading. They had got provis ion enough to live on a day or two, and were planning to come on deck at dark, overpower us and put to sea. They were armed, and, what frightened me the most (for you mast remember I was only a boy, though nearly as large as I am now,) they had hired Ned Allen to help them ! This would make them three against the captain and myself. As they had been further aft when I first came down, aud were now getting back to their old corner, I felt that they had not heard me, so I crept back to the deck as quietly as posible. "We were then leaving the light house out of sight and it would soon be dark, so that I was anxious to tell the skipper what I had discovered. 14 As I came up from tlie fore-peak,he was at the helm, while Allen was at the main sheet. I guess I must have looked a little startled, though I tried to appear calm, for as I went aft he asked me what was up ; but I only shook my head, saying I didn't feel very well, not daring to say any more for fear of arousing Allen. "I saw Captain Warrenton mistrust ed something, for he seemed uneasy ; and pretty soon he sent Allen into the cabin for something, and asked again what the trouble was, when I told him all. "The captain was a big, brave man, but lie trembled when I told my story. "If we should put back for port it would arouse the villains and they would make short work of us, and, as it was, our show was a small one. "In a moment, however, the capt ain asked if I thought I could carry a steady hand in a tight fix ; and telling him I could, for I knew our liyes were depending on it, his eyes flashed as he said : "Good, my boy ! If you don't fail me, we will 11 ix the scoundrels, or my name isu't Joe Warrenton. Keep up your courage, do as I say, and fifteen hundred dollars are yours." "The captain was a powerful man, and, now that he understood the game, I knew the desperadoes would have a hard fight to carry out their purposes. If Allen only had been all right we should have stood an even chance, though we had no fire-arms aboard. "Seeing Allen coming up the com panion way at that moment, Warren ton motioned for rae to tike the helm, and hurried to meet the sailor just as he gained the deck. "Before the traitor saw what was conning, the captain seized him by the throat and bore the wretch to the deck, just as if he had been a .child, without any outcry escaping his lips. "Getting a piece of tarred rope and some bunting we gagged and bound the ruffian in a few moments. "There," said Captain Warrenton, triumpantly, "our way is clear. But these other scamps will be moving soon so we must be ready for them." "While the hatches were on we knew the villains' only way of escape was the fore-peak, and as the boards of the bulkhead were thin they would easily force away through. The cargo was so stowed that they could not reach the cabin bulkhead, ai d they could not force the batches, so that we felt con fident that that w T ould be their course. "As it was then time that thev might be moving and the wind was so we had it on our beam, thu3 leaving but little to do fcr the sails, the cap tain got a couple of heavy hand-spikes for our weapons, and we were ready for action on the part of our foes. "Soon after dark the skipper said he heard them removing a board from the bulkhead. "Captain Warrenton had cautiously crawled forward behind the bltts by the bow-sprit, weapon in hand, and now motioned to me to leave the helm and join him. The tiller was lashed so that all was safe in that quarter. "The night was starlight and just light enough for our purpose. "I had barely time to reach the bitts which I had done in silence, when the pcoundrels were moving in the rubbish in the fore-peak. "Pretty soon a couple of human heads came into sight, and then the villains stood upon deck not four feet from where we were. "The captian touched me,and I knew the time for action had come. "While the rascals stood for an in stant as if trying to see where we were, we sprung upon them. "I seemed to possess ten times my ordinary strength, I bad nerved myaejf up so, and you may believe I put all my power into a blow. However, the villain saw me in season to partially MILLHEIM, PA., THURSDAY, MARCH (}., 1884. dodge it, so that it fell upon his should* er, and the next I knew he had sprung upon me. "But my second clip, which I was not long in dealing, fetched him ; and as he fell, Warrenton turned to help me, lie having fixed his man at a single stroke. "It was a good while before I could realize that we had really oveiconn the burly desperadoes ; but, there they were, securely bound ; and, in spite of their threats and entreaties, wo put back to port aud gave them up to the authorities, receiving the reward of three thousand dollars, which the cap tian generously shared with me. "Ned Allen received his just punish ment, while both of the others after ward expiated their crimes on the gal lows. "Readily procuring a couple of new hands, we again put to sea, none the worse for our little adventure." Advice to Husbands. You have no right to take the pleas ures of the home without also taking its responsibilities. You owe some thing to your children besides food, shelter, clothing and education, lie who gives them only this makes his house only a half-orphans' asylum. Every father ought to father his own children. The evening hour ought to be the children's. I know you have come home tired ; I know the day has been one long battle, and that you are weary with questions to be answered and problems to be solved. But I also know that the best way to lay down business cares is to take up home cares; that the best wy to keep young is to give an hour every dav after supper to the children—to their sports,their stud ies, their life-problems and their life joys. lie that giveth his life shall save it. But were it otherwise, it is uuhe roic, unchivalric, cowardly, to run a way and leave all the cares of the chil dren at night on the same shoulders which have borne them all the day. You owe something else to your wire than a house and money to keep it a going. You would owe this to a housekeeper. To leave Iter every even ing and go oft to the gossip of your club or of the village store is not keep ing your promise to leave all others and cleave only unto her. To leave her to sit in loneliness while the azy clock | ticks the hours away is not keeping your promise to comfort and to cherish her. When you took her from her father's home you bound yourself to provide her with a new one, and you d<J not fulfil that pledge in providing her a cell, however luxurious it may be, for the lonely life of a married old m;id. Xo wife ought to be left by her husband to be a nun. Put yourself in her place. Send her off for a wrek on a visit ; spend your evenings alone —six of them will be enough for an ex periment—and see how you like it. Or if you cannot persuade her to de sert you for even a week, though you have deserted her for many weeks, per haps many a month,imagine your posi tions reversed. Imagine her going oft to her club, her sewin/ circle, her gos sip witli a ueig hbor, night after night., leaving you to sit alone in your solitary room -a married old bachelor. llow would you like it ? Why is not sauce for the goo3e sauce also for the gander V llow dots your life look to you when measured by the Golden Rule ? Are you doing to the one you profess to loye best as you would have her do to you ? It Sounded Funny. Scotch Highlanders have the habit when talking their English of inter jecting tlie personal pronoun "he" where not required, such as 'the King he has come.' Often, in consequence a sentence is rendered extremely ludi crous A gentleman says he lately, listened to the Rev. Mr.—,who began his discourse thus: 'My friends, you will find my text in the first epistle general of Peter, fifth chapter and eighth verse: 'The devil he goeth a bout like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.' Now, my brethren, for our instruction I have divided my text into four heads. Firstly, we shall endeavor to ascertain who the devil he was. Secondly, we shall in quire into his geographical position, namely, "where the devil he was and where the devil he was going? Third- I O O ly, who the devil he was seeking. And fourthly and lastly, we shall en deavor to solve a question which lias never yet been solved—what the devil he was 'roaring about.' Amelia (looking into a toy-shop win dow)—' What loyelv dolls." Gallant dude—'They look sweet enough to kiss.' Amelia—'Yes; if 1 felt for kiss ing just now I would kiss one of those dolls.' \ TAPER FOR THE HOME CIRCLI It Didn't Suit Hor. 'But why don't you get married?' said a bouncing girl, with a laughing eye, to a smooth-faced, innocent-look ing youth. 'Well,l ' said the youth , stopping short with a gasp, noil fixing his eyes on vacancy, with a puzzled aud foolish expression. 'Well,go on/said the fair questioner, almost imperceptibly inclining nearer to the young man. 'Now just tell me right out—you what?' 'Why, I—pshaw! I don't know.' 'Yon do—l say you do! Now, come, I want to know.' 'Oh, 1 can't tell you ' '1 say you can. Who, you know I'll never mention it: and jou may tell me, of course, you know —for linvn't 1 al ways been your friend?' 'Well, you have, I know,' replied the beleagured youth. 'And I'm sure 1 always thought you liked me,' went on the maiden, in ten der and mellow accents. 'Oh, I do. upon my word—yes, in deed, I do, Maria!' said the unsophisti cated youth,very warmly; and lie found that Maria had unconsciously placed her hand in his open palm. There was a silence. 'And then—well?' said Maria, drop ped her eyes to the ground. 'Eh! Oh—well!' said John, dropped his eyes and Maria's hand at the same time. 'l'm pretty sure you love somebody,' said Maria, assuming a tone of raillery: 'I know you're in love; and, John, why don't vou tell me all about it at once?' ' Well—l ' 'Well, I—oh, you silly mortal! what is there to be afraid of " 'Oh, it ain't because lain afraid of anything at all; and I'll—,veil, now, Maria. I'll tell you.' 'Well, now, John?' 'I ' 'Eh?' 'I ' 'Yes.' 'I AM in love!—now don't tell; you won't will you?' said John, violently seizing Maria by the hand, and locking at her face with a most imploring ex pression. * Why, of course, you know, John, I"51 never breath a word about it: you know I won't—don't you, John?' This was spoken in a mellow whisper, and the cherry lips of Maria were so near John's ear when the spoke, that, had he turned his head to look at her, there might haye occured a dangerous collision. * Well, Maria,' said John, l I have told you now, and so you shall know all a bout it. I have always thought a great deal of you. and ' 'Yes, John.' 'I am sure you would do anything for me that yon could?' 'Yes, John, yon know I would.' 4 Well, I thought so, and you don't know how long I've wanted to you about it.' 'I declare, John, I—yon might have told me long since if you wanted to for I am sure I never was angry with you in my life.' 'No, you weren't; and I had often a great mind to—but ' 'lt's not too late now, you know, John.' 'Well, Maria, do you think I am too young to get married?' 'lndeed I do not, John; and I know it would be a good thing for you too; for everybody says that the sooner young people get mirriel the better, when they are prudent and inclined to love one another.' 'That's just what I think; and now, Maria, I do want to get married; and if you'll , 'lndeed I will, John—for you know I was always partial to you—and I've said so often and often behind your back.' 'Well, I declare, I have all along thought you would opject, and that's the reason I've been afraid to ask you.' 'Object? No, I'll die first. You may ask of me anything you please,' 'And you'll grant it?' 'I will.' 'Then, Maria, I want you to pop the question for me to Mary Sullivan, for ' 'What?' ' Eh?' 'I)o you loye Mary Sullivan?' 'Oh! indeed I do, with all my heart!' 'I always thought you were a fool!' 'Eh?' 'I say you're a fool! and you'd better go home—your mother wants you! Oh, you—you—you stupid!' exclaimed the mortified Maria, in a thrill tremble; md she gave John a slap on the cheek that sent him reeling. John went his way in a state of per plexity, wondering what in thunder Maria could get so mad about. 'Say, Bill, where dy'e git them long cigars?' Outside the Brunswick. When a dude buys a first-class cigar lie takes about two puffs, gits sick and throws it away,an'l lay fur it- Betcher life dudes wasn't created fur liothin'.' Did it ever occur to you, among the general fluctuations of prices, that um brellas ''go up" oftener than anything else? Money in Frogs The game laws are very strictly en forced in New Jersey, and the offenders are so severely punished that it is not a 'paying business to lake game out of season. A hunter ever there when asK ed how the professional hunters found employment during the portion of the year when they were prohibited from killing birds and animals, said: 'Oh, some of us go to work on the farms, but a few turn our attention to hunting frogs and reptiles.' 'How can you make any money by that kind of limiting?' 'Easy enough. There is considerable money in frogs.' 'Can you sell them?' 'Yes, to some extent. There are res taurants in New York, Philadelphia and othercities where l'rogs are a dainty dish, much in demand, as the hind leg 3 of the frog are the only portions of the creature that are eaten, a great many frogs are necessary for a meal for u hungry person.' 'llow do you catch frogs?' 'We capture the creature by means of a long pole, at the end of which is a small net. It is not very difficult to catch a frog. You see one of them sit ting upon a log or a stone at the side of a pond or creek. Poor froggie sits there winking, blinking and dozing away, entirely unconscious of approaching danger. You slyly reach out with your net and scoop in the frog. Noth ing is more simple. No stradegy is re quired.' •A lug bullfrog must be a great prize,' the reporter observed. 'That's just where you are mistaken,' said the informant. 'The big bullfrogs are not as good eating as the little fel lows. By the term little fellows I don't mean the creatures which have only just emerged from the tadpole state,but those which are about half-grown.' 'You have spoken of hunting diffrent kinds of reptiles. Do you mean snakes?' 'Yes; but that part of the business is nearly played out. There was a time not long ago when snakeskins were in demand. We sold the skins to taxider masts and to other purchasers, who used them for various purposes. There is one kind of snake which makes very wholesome and delicious food.' 'And what kind snake may that be?' 'The rattlesnake.' 'Where is the rattlesnake eaten?' 'To some extent in western New :ersey and some portions of Pennsylva nia. Rattle snake tastes very much like an eel, as I can testify from my own personal experience.' Hotel Thieves. Willie Howe reclined gently on a fawn-colored divan at the Palmer house Chicago, and was inhaling a cigarette as the police reporter gave him a pleas ant "Hellow, mister!" and, in an ab sent manner,scraped his muddy feet on the beautiful silk-velvet carpet. 'Great guns! young fellow,' said the reclining figure; 'please retire; have your personel attractions polished, and then return; first having your card sent to me on a silver salver;' 'The scribe retired unabashed for he had heard of lofty manners and anti quated customs, and went through a bath, visited a barber, stood monarch over a bootblack, and then returned. 'I had tho most, vulgar-appearing tel low here a while ago, 1 commenced Mr. Ilowe, but he was interiupted by the reporter with: Beg pardon; please don't be too per sonal. I hope I appear in a satisfactory condition. 'Then with profuse apolo gies for not recognizing him, the host dismissed the subject. So you want to know if we are trou bled with burglars and sneak-thieves?' interrogated Mr. Ilowe,afterthe report er had explained his mission. 'Well, I am happy to say that we are not, and have not been since last winter. The last hotel thieves that bothered us any are now safely housed at Joliet, and no others care about following in their path. You see, a hotel thief is gener ally an inconsequential fellow in the annals of crime, for if he were not he would not take such great risks for a paltry %va*tch, an over-coat, a satchel,or a small sum of money—none of which would bring him over S2O or S3O. If he ever succeeds in securing that much for his plunder he is extremely lucky. It is seldom the hetel thief gets a big stake, for travellers generally leave their valuables,not around their rooms, but iu the vault, and it is generally mi nor articles that are taken. It is very seldom that they get over S2O in cash. Some of these thieves will follow a man for miles. I have known of cases where a jewelry man with a large line of sim ples would be followed all the way frm New York. They generally take excell ent cart of their goods, however, and never leave them in a room without a watchman. Hotel thieves never pick locks, always watching a chance to slip into a room when the door is un locked and the occupant has stepped out for a moment.' 'No, sir, Idon't hire out to that farm er. His confounded fences are all barbed wire,and I can't get a minute's rest on 'em." Terms, SI.OO per Year, in Advance. Items of Interest. A Michigan man has trained Ins cat to visit a grocery and steal mack erel for him. The highest postage rate from the United States is to Patagonia and the Island of St. lie lena —twenty-seven cents per half ounce. The discovery has been made in San Francisco that some of the China men there arc owned and have been bought and sold as slaves. A few changes of the homestead law are proposed, the principal one being thut the settler is allowed one year in which to establish his home, and not six months as at present. The 400 Arizona camels let loose when the Southern Pacific was com pleted have Is i en bought for SIO,OOO and will he recaptured and used on abort freight lines across the desert. Jacob Millikcn of I>unstan, Me., on the anniversary of his 100 th birthday made a singular confession; "I voted for Thomas Jefferson for his sesond term, although I lacked two month of my majority." It is a curious and important fact that pieces of wire cable of the Fair mount Suspension Bridge, recently taken down at Philadelphia, after lie ing in use some forty years, were found to lie fully equal in tenacity, elasticity and ductility to the liest wire of that size now in the market. Among the new applications of cot ton is its use, in part, in the construc tion of houses, tin* material employed for this purpose living the refuse, which, when ground up with about an equal amount of straw and a sliest 03, is converted into a paste, and this is formed into large slabs or bricks, which acquire, it is said, the hardness of stone, and furnish a really valuable building stoek. A poor widow of Bath, Me., was agreeably surprised the other morn ing by the appearance of twenty men with axes and saws, who without any ceremony, attacked her wood pile and sawed and split until the whole pile was reduced to wood size. Disoovery of Iron and Steel. In an address on technical training delivered before the alumni association of Lehigh University. Thomas M. Drown pictures the discovery of me tallic iron and steel in this way: "Nearly all the early discoveries in the arts were the result of accident or hap-hazard experiment. We can well imagine that a fire large and intense enough to reduce iron from its ore must often have been made in acci dental contact with surface ore, and that the presence of the metal in the ashes must have attacted attention. This observation once made, there would follow a series of experiments to determine the conditions under which metal was produced, and the substances necessary for its production. It would not long escape intelligent observation that a certain brown earth, or may be a black rock, was the sub stance which yielded the metal, and that the fire was the necessary condi tion of its formation. But the iron thus accidentally produced—a mixture of metal, cinder and ashes was of no value till further experiment revealed the fact that the metal could when hot lie united by hammering into one mass, with the separation of cinder and oth er extraneous matter. The discovery of this property prompted still further experiment. The irregularity of the product would suggest the more per fect control of the fire, and smelt furn aces would be built. In the course of time it would be noted that the iron was not uniform in hardness, and an accident would be sure to reveal the fact that sometimes the metal, when suddenly cooled in water, would be come intensely hard. This new line of investigation would result in the production of steel." lie would not marry her because she had false teeth. But when his wife kepi him awake for nights with tootn ache and neuralgia, he wished he had. 'How's business to-night?' was the question asked at the box otlice. 'Well,' was the reply, 'the house is hafl full, the stage manager a little more than half full, and the leading comedian full to over flowing!' NO. 10. NEWSPAPER LAWS. If subscribers order tlic dtocontinuatii H Of newspapers the nuMtshers my runtime to send ilit'in until allarrearHce.H are paid. If subscribers refuse or neglect toUketl elr newspapers front the ofllne to which they are sent they are held responsible until they have settled the hills and ordered them di*contlt'iUed. If subscribers move toother places without in* forming the publisher, and the newspapers tr sent to the former place, they are responsible. ■ mmmmmmmmrnmrn ADVERTISING RATES. 1 wk. I mo. ;tmos. 61110s. 1 yea 1 square *2 on S4OO f3 00 $6 00 SBOO Wcolumn 4no soo woo is 00 woo U '■ 700 10 U) 15 00 30 00 40 00 1 " 1)00 15 00 25 00 45 00 75 CO One inch makes a square. Administrators' and Executors' Notices SJAO. Transient adver tisements and locals 10 cents ner line for first insertion and 5 cents per line for each addition al insertion. IIARTER, Auctioneer, MILLHEIM, PA. J' SPRINGER, fashionable Barber, Next Door to JOURNAL Store, MalnlStreet, MILLHEIM, PA. Hogarth and the Speotre. Hogarth, the celebrated painter, was an intimate friend of Fielding, and, after his friend's decease, was in consolable because he had not painted his portrait. One morning, when the artist was working alone in his studio, he thought he heard a voice resem bling that of his deceased friend, sav ing, in a sepulchral tone: 'Hogarth, come and paint me! ' The painter started up ; but think ing it was the effect of his imagina tion, resumed his seat, and went on with his work. Some moments after, lie heard distinctly the same voice, re peating the some words. Imagining somebody was playing a trick, he rose quickly from his chair and opened the door of his room; then recoiled with horror on recognizing Fielding, who, advancing toward him, said, in a kind voice: ''Fear nothing, my friend; your complaints have reached my ears. Make haste to catch my features, as I have only a quarter of an hour to re main." Hogarth, much moved bv this strange sight, had hardly time to seize his pencil and sketch the phantom, when it vanished from his sight. On recovering from the agitation in to which he had been thrown by this adyenture, he called his servants and asked them if any person had entered the house ; but as they all declared that they had seen no one, lie was o bliged to wait for time to clear up the mystery ; taking care, nevertheless, to hang the picture up against the wall of the room, in oider to see what effect it would have upon his visitors, nearly all of whom had known Fielding. It is imposible to express the joy of the artist when he saw the sensation produced by the portrait upon the best am iti us of London ; but in spite of tikis, he still felt uneasy concerning the curious manner iu which he had be come possessed of it. He related his adventure to Garrick, the well-known tragedian, from whom he concealed nothing; and greatly wa9 his surprise increased, as subsequently he received the following answer from him: '•For a long time I shared your re grets at not having taken a likeness of Fielding, and finally I icsolved to per sonate your friend, iu order to give you an opportunity of doing *o." Although Hogarth was one of Gar rick's most ardent admirers, he could only be convinced of the truth of this statement by the repetition of the same scene the following day, by which the actor completely convinted him of his wonderful powers of pautomime. Gar rick aided, in conclusion : "I confess I owed my secret entrance to an old servant of yours, whose death not long siucs freed me from the prom ise 1 made him to keep it secret." HUMOROUS, A society young lady told her illiter ate but wealthy lover that she was going to give a germ an, and he said that he'd ba sure to come, he was very fond ot beer. A small boy who stood gazing wist fully at a large candy man in a city con fectioner's window, suddenly exclaim ed: 'I could lick that fellow % with both hands tied behind my back.' It Certainly Would. One day three or four weeks ago a re tail grocer over in Jersey sat down with his clerk one evening and said: 'James, T owe New York houses over $3000.' 'Yes sir.' 'We have S2OOO in cash in the safe, t'le stock is all run down, and this would be the time to fail in business.' It certainly would.' 'But I want a reasonable apology to give my creditors when they come down on us for explanations. See if you can't think of something to-r.ight and let me kuow in the morning.' The clerk promised, and the grocer wheeled a chest of tea and a bag of cof fee home as a beginning. Next morn ing when he appeared at the store the safe was open, the cash gor.e and on the desk was a note from the clerk reading: '1 have taken tue S2OOO and am pre pared to skip. It will be the best ex case in the world for youy failing so flat that creditors can't realize 2 cents on the dollar.'