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The aegis & intelligencer. (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, May 20, 1864, Image 1

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83016107/1864-05-20/ed-1/seq-1/

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THE iEGIS & INTELLIGENCER.
1 . • - • i / i *•■...> V■■ ■ ’ ■
SI PER ANNUM.
A. H. GREENFIEUL
Comer of Main street and Port Deposit
avenue , Bel Jiir,
IS constantly aiming to meet the wants
of the community in FRESH
FAMILY ettOGBKIBS!
Teas, Spices, Cofleee, Fish, Lard, Butter,
Bacon, Cheese, See., &.c. Also,
SEASONABLE DRY GOODS,
NOTIONS. &o.
Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps, &c.. Queens
ware, Stone and Earthenware, Tin Ware,
Wooden Ware, Hardware, &c.
BEST COAL OILS,
COAL OIL LAMPS,in great variety.
Also, in
SAssioHAUxa immn
NEW BONNETS, in every variety of
style and material, for Ladies and Chil
dren.
Cleaning, Altering and Re
pairing done at reasonable notice—all at
Baltimore prices.
TERMS CASH. janl
FranklinviUe Store
Baltimore Comity.
KEEP constantly on hand a large and
well assorted slock of all kinds of
Goods adapted to the wants of the public,
such as
Dry Goods, Groceries,
HARDWARE,
jmsasa mims 9
3\T OTIONB,
CHINA AND GLASS WARE,
In fact any and every variety of articles
necessary to a well assorted stock, all of
which will be sold at very lowest Cash
prices. The Factory being in operation,
it affords a fine market for
mmwr igaoanrßa,
for which the highest prices will be paid.
The public are invited to cull. fe26
iiwlwis.
HMIE undersigned have just received a
* large and well selected stock of Goods
suitable for the season. They are con
stantly making up the neatest work, and
the newest and most fashionable style of
Bonnets for the Spring and Sum
fisSp mer, to which they invite the atten
lion of the citizens of the town and
the surrounding country. They also de
sire an occasional call from their Baltimore
friends, when they want something of ex
tra style and finish, as they are aware that
the undersigned can and will take pleasure
in putting up work of that description.
In addition to all styles of Bonnets,
they keep constantly on hand a variety of
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S
simi* WASS,
Such as Ribbons, Laces, Gloves, Hosiery,
Suspenders, and many other articles in
vhe Notion line.
Thankful for the liberal patronage here
tofore given the firm, they expect by strict
attention to business to merit its continu
ance.
M. J. WRIGHT & MITCHELL,
Washington street, two doors north of
the Railroad, and next door to Nixon’s
Hotel, Havre-de-GraCe. sep2s
BAUGH’S
RAW-BONE PHOSPHATE
Uosorpassed for producing a
Heavy Growth of Corn. Oats, Potatoes,
AND ALL SPRING CROPS,
And permanently enriching the Soil!
It contains the. Fertilizing Properties of
Guano, Bone, Stable Manure and Lime!
PRODUCING in many cases larger
crops by filly per cent, than either of
the above articles, when used separately.
It is a highly concentrated inamire, be
ing made from Bones containing all their
originH animal matter. No Burnt Bones
are used.
It has been used by thousands of far
mers in this State, with the higheß satis
faction. It has proved a perfectly reliable
substitute for “Peruvian Guano,” being
‘ sufficiently quick in its action on the
crops, and in all cases enriching the soil,
and it is permament in its ( fleets.
The demand last Fall was greater than
the supply. It would be well, therefore,
for farmers to send in their orders early,
either to the subscriber or to any of bis
agents, from whom circulSCs can be ob
tained, giving a list of many persons who
have used it, and certificates.
Price in Baltimore, $55 per 2000 lbs.
Cash.
GEORGE DUGDALE, 1
Sole Agent, No. 105 Smith’s Wharf,
feb4-3m Baltimore.
COAL! COAU
THE undersigned keeps constant!v on
hand all knu.s of WHITE and RED
AMI COAL, which ha wifi sell by the
cargo or single ton.. x
JOSEPH M- SIMMONS,
julT Havre-de-Grace, Md.
WANTED.— One or two JO URN EY
MEN BLACKSMITHS.
Enquire of MARTIN GALDER.,
• Iff federal Hill, Harford Co., Md.
) ■ .i Hf
■ t , f ’ * " “ ■*- ■ i G> .’ • I.l{ ... t a ?fA f ?1 •; ~} jj> -■,? *LvX '*• fTt *t. •i■* ” ■. •.
“LET ns CLING TO THE CONSTITUTION AS THE MARINER CLINGS TO THE LAST PLANK WHEN THE NIGHT AND TEMPEST CLOSE AROUND HIM."
THE AMS AND MTELU9ENCER
IB PUBLISHED
EVERY FRIDAY MORNING,
BY
BATEMAN & BAKER,
AT
ONE DOLLAR PER ANNUM,
IN ADVANCE, OTHERWISE
ONE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS
Will be charged.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square, (eight lines or less,) three inser
tions, SI.OO. Each subsequent insertion 25 cts.
One square three months, $3.00; Six months,
$5.00; Twelve months, SB.OO.
Business cardsof six HUM or less, $5 a year.
No subscription taken for less than a year.
Ipoetical.
TIKE AND LOVE—AN ALLEGORY.
BV JOHN O. SAXE.
Old Time and young Love, on a morning m May,
Chanced to meet by a river in halcyon weather,
And acreeing, for once, (’tis a fable, you'll say,)
In the same little boat made a voyage together.
Strong, steady and patient, Time pullejl at his
oar (
And swift o’er the waters the voyagers go—
But Love—who was thinking of pleasure on
shore—
Complained that his boatman was wretchedly
slow.
But Time, the old sailor, expert at his trade,
And knowing the leagues that remained to be
done,
Content with the regular speed that he made,
Tugged away at his oar and kept constantly
on.
Love, always impatient of doubt or delay,
Now sighed for the aid of the favoring gales,
And scolded at lime, in the sauciest way,
For not having furnished the shallop with
sails.
But Time, as serene as a calendar saint,
(Whatever the gray beard was thinking upon)
All deaf to the voice of the younker's complaint,
Tugged away at the oar and kept steadily on.
Love, vexed at the heart, only clamored the
more,
And cried, “By the Gods! in what country
or clime
Was ever a lubber who handled an oar,
In so lazy a fashion as Old Father Time I”
But Time only smiled in a cynical way,
(’Tis often the mode with your elderly Don)
As one who knows more than ho cares to dis
play,
And still at his oar pulled steadily on.
Grown calmer, at last, the exuberant boy
Enlivens the minutes with snatches of rhyme—
The voyage, at length, he begins to enjoy,
And soon has forgotten the presence of Time 1
But Time, the serene, egotistical elf,
Since the day that bis travels he entered upon,
Has ne’er for a moment forgotten himself,
But tugs at his oar and keeps steadily on.
Awaking, once more, Love sees with a sigh
That the River of Life will be presently passed,
And now he breaks forth in a piteous cry,
“O Time, gentle Time I you are rowing too
fast.
But Time, well knowing that Love will be dead,
Dead—dead I in the boat!—ere the voyage is
done,
Only gives him an ominous shake of the head,
While he tugs at the oar and keeps steadily
on ! *
IllistfUitnfm
For the jjfyie (J- Intelligencer.
THE THREE SCHOOLMATES.
by l .
One bright April morning, as three
young gills sat in a large parlor of a board
ing-school, awaiting the arrival of the car
riages which were to bear them away
from the happy home where they had
spent four happy years together—their
thoughts reverted to the day when they
first became members of that school.—
Though with joyous smiles and bounding
hearts, they look forward to a return to
their early homes, yet ever and anon, a
recollection of the happiness enjoyed in
that quiet retreat, would dim for a mo
ment their bright eyes and hush their
glee.
Their companionship was about to be
dissolved. They who so long had shared
the same apartment, participated in the
same studies and pastimes, were to be
severed. Memory was busy with each
one, and they relapsed into silence.—
Who does not know the tediousness of
waiting for conveyances! How slow the
minutes wear away, and every one seems
lengthened to au hour, especially when
from urgent business or anticipated pleas
ure, we lyng to bo on the wing. At
length one of them broke the silence by
an impatient exclamation at the long de
lay, and begged her companion to devise
some plan for whiling away the tedious
moments. Maude, for such was the name
of her addressed, sat {Jf a moment-in
thought, then with a faint entile, die ex
claimed :
“I have found it! Let each chqose the
course of life we most desire for the fu
ture,. and narrate Tier wishes for ;tbe
amusement of the rest.’’
At the request of her companions she
commenced;,, ,
“Do not gnilld at me fdr repeating an
oft-told tale, whpn I wish for literary
honors. Way die Goddess of Fame twine
hot' laurels around' my brow; may sire
give me power to waken the dyep and
hid Icn chords of the soul, and make them
wbrato to my touch; tnny I breathe the
htfiMi.-i ud MlbliuKMt strains Of poesjf.;
BEL AIR, MD. FRIDAY MORNING, MAY 20,
may 1 melt the heart with its softest,
most hallowed lays. 1 would wish to see
Genius bending low at my shrine, and to
hear my name repeated by the learned
and honored.”
She ceased ; and those who heard knew
that the pootio flame was already kindled
in her breast, and felt it was possible for
her to attain the summit at which she
aimed. The second, Helen, spoke :
“Give me,” said she, “to mingle in the
delightful whirl of fashion and gayety;
to be admired and envied by the throng;
to reign in the ball-room and tbe gay le
vee ; to be courted, and wooed, aud flat
tered ; to lose myself in a perpetual round
of festivity and mirth.”
Aud the picture seemed to absorb her
mind, for the last words died away in a
low murmur, and she sat us though lust
in thought, till, rousing from her reverie,
she joined with Maude iu calling upon
Alice, the remaining one of the trio, to
follow their example. A light stole from
the depths of her dark eye, and a shadow
rested on her sweet face, as she replied :
“Let me live for Him who died for
me!’’
She would have said more, but her
low, earnest tones were interrupted by the
tramp of horses and tbe sound of wheels.
Their conversation was forgotten. They
rushed to the door. A hasty kiss was
imprinted on cheek and lip, a hurried fare
well spoken, and they parted—forever.
Again, six years have rolled away. To
some, they have brought trial and sorrow.
Some frail barks they have launched into
the boundless ocean of eternity. But to
Maude, Helen and Alioe, they have spared
life, health aud joy; and unlike the fre
quent experience of mortals, to them have
been realized the dreams of their girlhood.
Tho first is worshiped and honored in the
literary world. Her name is everywhere
known and admired. Thousands do hom
age to her genius, aud the power of her
song thrills in cottage and palace. But
amid it all, she sighs for kindred hearts ;
for the warm tones of true affection, which
nowhere greet her ear. There is a thorn
among her roses, a drop of gall mingled
with her cup of joy.
In another sphere of life, the proud
Helen moves, the reigning belle of her
circle. She shines brightest amid the
beautiful—gayest amid the gay. The
praises of a throng of admirers wait on
her every step. All are conquered by
her magic sway. But Helen has quaffed
deep the intoxicating draught of flattery.
She has become dead to all b.ut self, aud
the hearts with which she has trifled un
derstand too well the idolatry. Yet in
better moments her heart yearns for some
nobler object, to fill the aobing void which
siuful pleasures have left in her breast.—
Had she known the delight of living for
orbers, perchance selfish joys would have
grown less in her esteem.
In a large eburoh is assembled a vast
crowd, to witness the marriage of one who
is about to leave his native land, to bear
tbe tidings of salvation to a heathen world.
The young missionary leads to the altar a
bride exquisitely fair, in whose form and
features we recognize those of our beloved
( Alice. Yes, that short wish of her’s was
full of meaning. She falters ns she takes
the solemn vow, which involves a rending
of all ties that bind to home and country;
but the light of faith glows in her earnest
eye, and the firmness of high resolve is
written on her calm brow. She, too, had
realized the beautiful aspiration of her
early youth—“ Let me live for him who
died for me.”
Lost Arts.
In regard to colors, we are far behind
the ancients. None of the colors, in the
Egyptian pain ting of thousands of years ego
are in tbe least faded, except the green.
The Tyrian purple of tbe entombed city
of Pompeii is as fresh to day as it was
three thousand years ago. Some of the
stucco, painted centuries before the Chris
tian era, broken up and mixed, revealed
its original lustre. And yet we pity tbe
ignorance of the dark-skinned children of
ancient Egypt. The colors upon the
walls of Nero’s festal vault are as fresh as
if painted yesterday. So is the cheek of
the Egyptian prince who was cotempura
neous with Solomon, and Cleopatra, at
whose feet Caesar laid tho riches of his
empire.
And in regard to metals. The edges
of the statues of tbe obelisks of Egypt,
and of the ancient walls of Rome, are as
sharp, as if but hewn yesterday. And
the stones still fitted,
that their seams, not
be penetrated witfSHo|(BpF¥ pen
knife. And their
hard—so hard that the French ar
tists engraved two lines upon an obelisk
brought from Egypt, they destroyed, in
the tedious task, many sets of tbe best
tools which eould bo manufactured. Aud
yet these ancient monuments are traced
all over with inscriptions placed upon
them in olden time. This with other
foots of a striking character, proved that
they were fur more skilled in metals than
we are. Quite recently, it is recorded
that, when an American vessel was on the
shores of Africa, a son of that benighted
region made, from au iron hoop, a knife
superior to any on board of the vessel, and
another made a sword of Damascus excel
lence from a piece of iron.
Fiction is very old. Scott had his coun
terparts two thousand years ago. A sto
ry is told of a warrior who bad no time to
wait fur tho proper forging of his wea
pon, but seizing it red-hot, rode forward,
but found to his surprise that tho cold air
bad tump-rod his iron into an exccllbul
steel weapon. The tempering of steel,
therefore, which was new to us a century
since, was old two thousand years ago.
Ventilation is deemed a very modern
art. But this is not the foot, for aper
tures, unquestionably made for the pur
pose of ventilation, are found in the pyra
mid tomb of Egypt. Yes, thousands of
years ago, the barbarous Pagans went ao
far as to ventilate their tombs, while we
Jet scarcely know how to ventilate our
ouses.
First Things.
Moses, the first historian, wrote about
the year B. C. 1500. From that time to
about B. C. 445, the divinely inspired of
the Bible are the only historians. The
same year that the last of the old Testa
ment books was written (B. C. 445) the
first authentic history written by any of
the world’s historians via: by Herodotus
—was made public.
How long Eve, the first woman, lived,
we do not know. It is a curious fact that
in sacred history, the age, death and bur
ial of but one woman, Sarah, the wife of
Abraham, is distinctly noted. Woman’s
ago ever since appears not to have been a
subject for history or discussion.
The first names are all Hebrew; and
the explanation or meaning of them is
also in Hebrew, thus proving that it was
the language used at the time they were
so named. It was thus with the names
of Adam, Eve, Cane, Seth, Noah, &o.—
The wonderful names by which God has
condescended to reveal himself to us, the
great names of Jehovah and Jesus, or
Joshua, aro also Hebrew, and full of
meaning.
How natural it is for all infants, in
their first attempt to speak, to say, ab
bah-ab, or cm mem-cm ! How few know
that these words were used by the first
children to express words dear to all! In
Hebrew, Ab, or Abba , means father, and
Em means mother.
The first sin combined “the lust of the
eye”—the woman “saw it was pleasant to
the eyes;” “the lust of the flesh”—it
was “good for foodand “the pride of
life”—it was “a tree to be desired to
make wise.”
At the first sacrifice, Cain’s offering was
rejected, while Abel’s was accepted. Cain,
it appears, did not believe the promise of
God, nor in the necessity of an atonement
for sin. In the pride of unbelief, he pre
sented the Unitarian offering of his own
productions or works Abel believed the
promise, for we are told (Heb. xi. 3), "By
faith , Abel offered unto God a more ex
cellent sacrifice than Cain.” Uuitarianism
was the first false religion.
Lantech, one of Cain’s descendants, is
the first who is mentioned as having taken
unto him two wives.
Jabal “was the father (or first) of such
as dwell in tents, and such as had cattle.”
Abel had kept sheep; but Jabal must
have introduced some system in the rear
ing of cattle, and also tents and tent mak
ing. Jubal, a brother of Jabal, is record
ed as being “the father of all such as
handle the harp and the organ.” (Geo.
iv. 21.) From Jubal probably comes the
word Jubilee. The seed of Cain first in
vented musical instruments.
A Jewish tradition ascribes to Naamah
sister to Tubal Cain, the introduction of
ornaments in female dress.
Tho first public worship mentioned was
at the birth of Enos, the sou of Seth,
born when Adam was 285 years old,—
“Then began men to call upon the name
of the Lord.”
prophesying was early in the church.
The first especially mentioned as a proph
et is Enoch, born in (he seventh genera
tion, in the year 622. He prophesied of
“the coming of the Lord with ten thou
sand of His saints, to execute judgment
upon all,” etc. (Jude *v.)
The first human slavery was prophesied
as a consequence of sin. When Noah
awoke from his wine, and know what Ham
bad done uuto him, he said (Gen. ix. 25),
“Cursed be Canaan, the son of Ham, a
servant of servants, or the most degraded
of slaves, shall he he unto his brethren.”
The first city built after the flood—loo
years after—was Babel, or Babylon, B.
C. 2247.
The Bible gays : “In the beginning was
the Word, and the Word was God and
“all things were made by Him.” The
heathen obtained some knowledge of this.
In India, Vault, or speech, is the active
power of Brahma. Xi- Persia, Ormuzd,
tho Good, created the world by Honova,
the Word.— Schieffelmait's Foundations
of History.
The Prophetic Dew Drops.—A deli
cate child, pale and prematurely wise, was
complaining on a hot morniog that the
poordew drops had been so hastily snatched
away, and not allowed to glitter on the
flowers, like other happier dew drops that
live the whole night through, and sparkle
in the moonlight and through the morn
ing, onward to noonday. “The sun,"
said the child, “has chased them away
with his heat, or swallowed them up in
bis wrath.” Soon after came-rain and a
rainbow, whereupon his father, pointing
upwards, said, “See, there’ stand the dew
drops, gloriously reset—a glittering jewel
ry—in the heavens; and the clownish
foot tramples on them no mure. By this,
my child, thou art taught that what with
ers upon earth, blooms again in heaven.”
Thus tho fa;her spoke, and knew not that
he spoke prefiguring words ; for sooh after
the delicate child, with the morning
brightness of his early wisdom, was ex
haled, like the innocent dew diops, from
earth hoaveu. Old English Aloort
zina. *■'
f* '*m If* •
i, 1864.
The Storming of Badataa.
Col. Maxwell, author of the Life of Wel
lington, thus describes in bis “Bivouac,”
the dreadful outrages which followed, dur
ing the evening and night after the storm.
“It was nearly dusk, and the few hours
while 1 slept, had mads a frightful change
in the condition and temper of the soldiery.
In the morning they were obedient to their
officers, and preserved the semblance of
subordination,; now they were in a state
of furious intoxication, discipline was for
§otten, and the splendid troops of yester
sy had become a fierce and sanguina
ry rabble; dead to every touch of hu
man feeling, and filled with every demo
niac passion that can brutalize the man.
The town was in terrible confusion, and
on every side frightful tokens of military
license met the eye. One street, as 1 ap
proached the castle, was almost ohoked
up with’broken furniture; for the houses
bad been gutted from the cellar to the gar
ret, the partitions torn down, and even
the beds ripped up and scattered to the
winds, in the hope that gold might be
found concealed. A convent at the end
of (he strada of St. John was in flames,
and I saw more thau one wretched nun
in the arms of a drunken soldier. Far
ther on the confusion seemed-greater.—
Brandy and wine casks were rolled out be
fore the stores) some were full, some half
drunk up, but more staved in mere wan
tonness, and the liquor running through
the kennel. Many a harrowing scream
saluted the ear of the passer-by ; many a
female supplication was heard in vain, ask
ing for mercy. How could it be other
wise, when it is remembered that twenty
thousand furious and licentious madmen
were loosed upon an immense population,
among which many of the loveliest wo
men upon earth might be found. AH
within that devoted city was at the dispos
al of an infuriated army, over whom, for
tho time, control was lost, aided by an in
famous collection of camp followers, who
were, if possible, more sanguinary and
pitiless men, than those who had survived
the storm.
“It is useless to dwell upon a scene from,
which the heart revolts. Few females in
this beautiful town were saved that night
from insult. The noblest and the beggar,
—the nun and the wife and daughter of
the artisan—youth, age, old men, involved
in general ruin. None were respected,
and few consequently escaped. The mad
ness of these desperate brigands was vari
ously exhibited; some fired through doors
and windows; others at the church bells;
many at the wretched inhabitants as they
fled into the streets to escape the bayonets
of tho savages who were demolishing their
property within doors; while some wretch
es, as if blood had not flowed in sufficient
tenants already, shot from the windows
their own companions as they staggered
below. What chances had the miserable
inhabitants of escaping death when more
than one officer perished by the bullets
and the bayonets of the very men whom a
few hours before be had led to tbe as
sault ? .
“Strict measures were taken by Lord
Wellington to repress these desperate ex
cesses, who issued tbe following ‘General
Order
Camp before Badajos, April ,7, 1812.
1. It is now full time that the plunder
of Badajos should cease.
2. Tbe Commander of the forces has
ordered the Provost Marshal into the
town ; he has orders to execute any man
ho may find in the act of plunder after be
may arrive there.
A Portuguese brigade was brought up
from the rear and smt into the town, ac
companied by the provost marshal and
the gallows.
This demonstration had its due effect,
and tbe rope carried terror to rioters
vjhom the bayonets of a whole regiment
oould not appal.
A Wolf Barometer.
On my paying a visit to an old planter
once, I observed suspended from the ceil
ings roof of his hut by a small piece of
cord, tbe skull of some animal. Being
curious I inquired if it was for use or or
nament. “Bless me,” said he, “don’t
you know what that is 7—why, it is our
weather glass, barometer, and everything
else; a wolf’s head ; and whenever we are
on the point of having u change of wind,
you may be sure that skull will indicate
it, and what the change is to be.” This
made me still more curious, and I pressed
him for information. “I Lave had that
skull thirty years,” said he, “and, although
a crafty wolf’s, it never deceived me. —
Now, look here; suppose the wind is
north, and that skull’s nose points to the
east, and so remains for a week; after the
wind shifts from north, we get an easterly
wind for just as long as the skull pointed
in that direction, and so on fur any other
quarter of the compass.” He frankly
told mo he could not explain tbe reasons,
so it was, and so it is; fur I procured a
skull and suspended it in a quiet place,
and found, as the old man said, it never
deceived me.— Recollections of Labrador.
B©*The number of letters in the alpha
bet of different languages is as follows;
English, 26; French, 25; German, 26;
Spanish, 24; Dutch, 26; Greek, 24;
Latin, 25 ; Sclavonic, 27 , Arabic, 28;
Persian, 81; Turkish, 33; Georgian, 36;
Hebrew, Chaldee, Syriac and Samaritan,
each 22; Cynic, 32 ; Sanscrit, 50 ; Ben
galese, 21 ; Burmese, 19.
A man near Utica, N. Y., lately
sold Sis wife to a widower for a cow.—
They nil de.erro a cowhide.
VOL. Till.—NO. 21.
B*|i.
Probably few know tho value of ngs
in an economical point of view, (I ima
gine they are more plenty than the whole
cloth now,) and I venture to give a bit of
information, though some interested in
the price of paper may not thank me £>r
it.
Rags of any fabric shred fine like oar
pet rags, thrown loosely together, and then
spread evenly into a tick the desired thick
ness, and tacked like hair, cotton batting,
&0., will make a good mattrass or cushion
for chairs, lounges, oribo, wagon seats, or
even beds. According to my way of
thinking, they are almost as good as hair,
and better than cotton batting. Care
should be taken to spread them so that
they will be the same thickness through
out when pressed down. Where they an
part woolen, or heavy rags, spread each
kind over the whole surface, or otherwise,
spread tho thick ones thinner, as they wiM
not press down equal to the same bulk of
light ones. The remnants after cutting
carpet rags, are a large share of them gen
erally fine enough and only need freeing
from dust; this can be done by pouring
them slowly from one basket into another
out doors, in a slight breeze. Heavy
hems or seams should be thrown oat.—
The ravolings of old worn-out carpets are
good, if only well cleaned.
4®”“ One of our peculilf, slab-sided,
gaunt Yankees lately emigrated and set
tled down in the West. He was the very
picture of a mean man, but as he put him
self to work in good earnest to pet his
house to rights, the willingly
lent him a hand. After he had got eve
rything fixed to his notion, a thought
struck him that he had no chickens, and
he was powerful fond of sucking raw eggs..
He was too honest to steal them, and too
mean to buy them. At last a thought
struck him—he could borrow. He went
to a neighbor, and thus accosted* him :
“Wal, I reckon you haro’t got an old
ben nur nothin’ you’d lend me for a few
weeks, have you, neighbor ?”
“I will lend yon one with pleasure,” re
plied the gentleman, picking out the very 1
finest in the coop, one that happened to
desire to set.
The Yankee took the ben home, and
then weut to another neipbbor and bor
rowed a dozen eggs. He then set the
hen, and in due course of time she hatch
ed nut a dozen chickens.
The Yankee was again puzzled ; ho
could return the hen, but how was he to
return the eggs. Another idea—and who
ever saw n live Yankee without one?—he
would keep the hen until she had laid a
dozen.
This he did, and then returne 1 the hen
and eggs to their respective owners, re
marking as he did so :
‘‘Wal, I reckon I’ve got as fine a dozen
of chickens as ever you laid eyes on, and
they didn’t cost me a cent nuthor.”
Me or my Mother.—A very talent
ed young man man made the acquaintance
of a Quaker gentleman and his wife.—
The Quaker had a fine daughter and also
a library, the books from which he freely
loaned to the young man, who generally
came in the evening to return them, when
he supposed the daughter would be at
home. She often exchanged the books
fur him, and Lad a friendly chat with him.
One evening he camo as usual, and tho
young lady met him at the door. She
was dressed to go out, and said :
“Who would you like to see, me or my
mother? I was about to call on a friend.
If my mother will answer your purpose,
please to walk into the drawing-room; but
if you desire my company, I will postpone
my visit till another time,”
The young man hesitated and stam
mered : “He—he—did not—want to—
to detain her from her engagement, but if
she had not been going out, he would
have enjoyed her society.”
“All right,” she rejoined, and accord
ingly took oft' her bonnet, and they passed
a very pleasant evening. That question
—“Who do you prefer to see, me or my
mother ?” settled tho matter. The re
sult was, he soon proposed, and they were
afterwards married.
A Scotch Widow. —The clerk of a
large parish not five miles from Bridge
north, Scotland, preceiving a female cross
ing a churchyard in the widow’s garb,
with a watering-can and bundle, had the
curiosity to follow her, and he discoverd
her to be Mrs. Smith ; whose husband had
not long been interred. The following con
versation took place.
“Ah, Mrs. Smith, what are you doing
with your watering-can ?”
“Why, Mr. Price, I have begged a few
hay-seeds, which X have in a bundle, and
am going to sow them upon my poor hus
band’s grave, and have brought a little
water with me to make them spring,
“You have no occasion to do that, as
the grass will soon grow upon it,’’ replied
the clerk.
“Ah, Mr. Prince, that may be—but do
you know my husband who lies here,
made me promise him, on his deathbed, I
would not marry again till the grass had
grown over his grave, and having a good
! cifter made me I dinna wish to break my
word, or be kept as I am.”
#®“A certain toper, who had a remark
ably red nose, having fallen asleep in his
chair, a negro boy who was in waiting ob
served a mosquito hoveriug rohnd bis face.
Quashy eyed it very attentively. At last
it hit upon his master's nose, and instant
|ly flow off again. “Yah, yah!’’ be ox-
I claimed with great glee, “mo berry glad
i to see you burn your fut!”

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