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The aegis & intelligencer. (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, July 08, 1864, Image 1

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THE SHS & INTELLIGENCER
•?I PER ANNUM.
LARGEST STOCK OF DRY GOODS IN
HALT! MORE.
HAMILTON EASTER & GO. j
Nos. 199, 201 and 203 Baltimore itreet,
ißAUMHtiifeoißa*
Invite the pticniioii of Merchants visiting
KAtimore to make pnrehases, to the very
extensive
IV JJ DIES ALE S TOOK
On Second Fluor and Basement nf their
Warehouse ,
Embracing in addition to their own large
uiitl gcnctttl importation of Foreign Goods,
a large and well .elected stock of
Domestics,
Woolens, and
Staple Goods,
Of every description.
Onr splendid RETAIL STOCK OF
GOODS, on firm floor, embracing articles
of every class, from !mc priced to the most
magnificent in every branch of trade, ren- ,
daring onr entire stork one of the most;
extensive and complete in the United 1
Slates.
The Wholesale and Retail Price being |
mailed on each article, from which no 1
deviation is allowed.
£|=* Parties not fully acquainted with ;
the value of goods, can buy from us with
perfect confidence. mh26
Franklinville Store
Baltimore County.
KF.FP constantly on hand a large and ,
well assorted slock of all kinds of;
Goods adapted to the wants of the public,
such as
Dry Goods, Groceries,
HARDWARE,
3?2£iSik S&ffiSfr
MOTIONS,
CHINA AND GLASS WARE,'
In fact any and every variety.of articles :
necessary to a well assorted stock, all of
which will he sold at very lowest Cash '
prices. The Factory being in operation,'
it affords a fine market for
cmsaT Moawcx.
for which the highest prices will be paid, j
The public are invited to call. fe2t> |
il Mt ’’ 1
THE undersigned have just received a
' large ami well selected stork of Goods
suitable for the season. They are con
stantly making up the neatest work, and
the newest and most fashionable style of
Bonnets for the Spring and Sum
flyp titer, to which they invite the alien*
T&tgL lion of the citizens of the town and
the surrounding country. They also de
sire an occasional call from their Baltimore
friend., when they want something of ex
tra style and finish, as they are aware that
the undersigned cun and will take pleasure
in putting up work of that description.
In addition to all styles of Bonnets,
thyv keep constantly on hand a variety of
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S
SftlAKEr WAtM,
Such as Ribbons, Laces, Gloves, Hosiery,
Suspenders, and many other articles in
the -Notion line.
Thankful for the liberal patronage here
tofore given the firm, they expect by strict •
attention to business to merit its continu
ance.
M. J. WRIGHT A MITCHELL,
Washington street, two doors north of j
the Railroad, and next door to Nixon’s
Hold, Uavre-db-Grace. sep2s |
FARMERS, TAKE NOTICE! j
"OTE are at nil times paying in cash ;
\ I foil Depositc prices (or
j
AT oon WARKHOUSK IN
Ziapidum, Harford County, Kd.
Have also on hand a large and well se
lected slock of
iiIEEB,
Well seasoned and of good quality. -
FINE HONE, GUANO,
PHOSPHATE,
PLASTER & SALT,
Constantly on hand.
Farmers will find it to their interest to
give us a call.
ANDREW ABELS,
ju26 Agent fur Davis &. Pugh.
COAL I COAL ! |
fPIIE undersigned kee.ps constantly on ;
1 hand all kirn aof WHITE and RED i
ASH COAL, which he w ill sell by the
cargo nr single ton.
JOSEPH M. SIMMONS, |
jnl7 llavre-de-Grace, Mil. >
0 MCHKVMAS. . P. KX.cn, I). 11. P,
MERRYWAN A KEECH,
8517TJ8“.5,.;
.Vo. i3l A'trih Calvert Street ,
mbl* .' Q.U.TIMOnr,
“LET L'S t’LI.VG TO TUB COXSTITTTTION AS THE IfAltMßft CI.IUCW TO TUK LAST I’I.ANK WOEJf TUB MGUT AND TEMPEST CLOSE ASOtJXD UIM.”
• '■ •> xV* • .... Tl?3s -ifT
.... ‘ ' 11 i * , Ci J I S *1 ii 4 f ‘OA . J'iilft"' *
m miS AH3 INTELLIGENCER |
IS i'UBLISUKD
; EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, \
•;• ■ t O ■ ‘ ■
BY
BATEMAN & BAKER.
AT
•. !
: OXE DOLLAR PER ANXUM, j
IN ADVANCC, OTHERYTTSC
DlfE DOLLAR AND FIFTY CKNTS
Will be charged.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square, (eight lines or less,) three inser
tions, SI.OO. Each subsequent insertion 3$ cts.
One square three months, $4.00; Six months,
$5.00; Twelve months, SB.OO.
Business cards of six lines or less, $5 a year.
No subscription taken Tor less limn a year.
, lrl
For the jEijit and Intelligencer.
"VB ARE MY FRIENDS,”
( Ooe/iel St. Barnabas' Day.)
To M. K . D.
Friend of Jesus, blest to sbara
Gentle ward and loving care,
‘ None like Him can joy impart,
To the meek and contrite heart.
I I
I Friend of Jesus, siug His praise,
Keeping in His holy- ways,
Where the Cross will truly guide
Thro’ the dark and stormr tide.

Friend of Jesus, follow on,
’Till thq distant shore is won;
’Till the voyage of faith is past,
And the saint is safe at last.
Friend of Jesus, do His will;
Fear no power of ghostly ill;
When the days are dark and drear,
Thou shall find His Presence near.
I
Friend of Jesus, what to thee
■Shall the scorn of mortals be ?
Let the idle world go by ;
Seek thy purer bliss on high.
I Friend of Jesus, He is nigh !
Soon His ‘ Sign” upon the sky
Shall proclaim the awful day,
When the earth must pass away.
Friend of Jesus, happy then,
If, 'mid hosts of guilty men,
He shall there thy name confess,
And thy tainting spirit bless.
I ;
Friend of Jesus, bear His cross,
Thro’ reproach, and grief, and loss;
'Till in Salem’s courts above,
Christ shall crown thy patient love.
W. A. W. I
| Minor Rectory, June 11, 1861.
lllistfllannius. 1
MANIFESTO OF THE CONFEDERATE
STATES TO THE WORLD.
The Philadelphia Age copies from the !
Richmond Wh!y % of the 18th of June, the
following manifesto and resolutions pass
ed by the Congress of the seceding States ;
“Joint resolutions declaring the
DISPOSITION OF PRINCIPLES AND PUR
POSES OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES
IN RELATION TO THE EXISTING WAR 1
WITH THE UNITED STATES j
“ Whereas, It is due to the groat cause of j
humanity and civilization, and especially i
to the heroic sacrilfees r.f their galiaut ar-1
- my m the field, that no means consistent j
; with a proper self respect and the approved i
! usages of nations should be omitted by 1
tue Confederate Slates to enlighten the i
public opinion of the world with regard
to the true character of the struggle iu
which they are engaged, and the disposi
j lions, principles and purposes by which
i they are actuated ; therefore,
“Resolved by the Congress of the Con
| federate Stales of America, That the I
following manifesto, be issued in their!
| name,.and by their authority, and tbit the |
; President be requested to cause copies 1
! thereof to be transmitted to uur com in is- j
| sinners abroad, to the end that the saint |
I may be laid before foreign governments: I
j “Manifesto of the Congress of the Con fed- j
federate States of America relative to I
i the existing war with the United Stater, 1
“The Congress of the Confederate States ,
I of America, acknowledging their responsi
bility to the opinion of the civilized
world, to the gnat law of Christian phil
anthropy and to the Supreme Ruler of the
Universe, for the part they have been
compelled to bear in the sad spectacle of
war and ca.unge which this continent has,
for the last three years, exhibited to the
eyea of afflicted humanity, deem the pres
ent a fitting occasion to declare the princi
eiplcs, the sentiments and the purposes by
wfault they have been, uod are still actua
ted.
“They have ever deeply deplored the
necessity which constrained them to take
up arms in defence of tb<dr rights, and of
the free institutions derived from their an
; ci-stors ; and there is nothing they more
j ardently desire than peace, whensoever
I tbeir enemy, by ceasing from the unhal
i lowed war waged upon them, shall permit
them to enjoy in peace the sheltering pro
| tection of those hereditary right and those
| cherished institutions. The series of sue- j
, cesses which it has pleased Almighty Go-1 i
! in so signal a manner to bless our arms on
i almost every point of our invaded border I
j sinee tlie opening of the present campaign,
enables ns In profess this desire of peace ;
in the interest of civilization and huiuani- i
•y, without danger of having our motives !
mjsiidurpretsH, of Hlic declaration bting
asatibed to any unmanly sentiment or any
. 'distrust of our ability fully to maintain
BET. MIX FRIDAY MOUSING, JULY 8, 1864,
, our cause, Tho repeated uud disastrous
i cheeks, foreshadowing ultimate disemufit
! urc, which their gigantiq armj, erect d
1 against the capita! of the Confederacy, has
already met with, are but a continuation
i of tile sumo providential successes for us
i We do not recur to the successes in any
; spirit of vain boasting, but bumble uc
* kuowledgmenl of that Almighty protec
tion which Las vouchsafed and gran led
| them.
‘‘The world most now see that eight
> millions of people, inhabiting so extensive
a territory, with such varied resources and
such numerous facilities tor defence as the
benignant bounty of nature has bestowed
upon us, and animated with one spirit to
encounter every sacrifice of case, of health,
of property, of life itself, rather than be
I degraded from the condition of free and
I independent States, into which they were ;
I b ru, can never be conquered. Will not j
j our adversaries themselves begin to feel ’
; that humanity has bled long enough j that
tears aud blood and treasure enough have
been expended in a bootless undertaking,'
covering their own land, no le.-a than ours, i
with a pall of mourning, and exposing
them, far more than ourselves, to the catas- 1
trophe of financial exhaustion and hank- j
ruptey, not to speak of the loss of their
liberties by the despotism engendered in
an aggressive warfare upon the liberties of!
mother and kindred people? Will they
be willing, by a longer perseverance in a
I wanton and hopeless contest, to make this ,
! continent, which they so long boasted to b■;
| the chosen abode of liberty and self gov
■ eminent, of peace and a higher civiliza-;
{ tiou, the theatre of the most causeless and '
prodigal effusion of blood which the world
lias ever seen, of a virtual relapse into the
barbarism of the ruder ages, and of the de
struction of constitutional freedom by the
lawlessness of usurped power ?
“These are questions which our adve -
series will decide for themselves. We de
: sire to stand acquitted before the tribunal
of the world, as well as in the eyes of om
i niscient Justice, of any responsibility for
the origin or prolongation of a war us con
trary to the spirit of the age as to the tra
ditions and acknowledged principles of the
political system of America.
“On this continent, whatever opinions
may have prevailed elsewhere, it has ever
| been held and acknowledged by all par
| ties that government, lo bo lawful, must
1 be founded on the consent bf the govein
i ed. We were forced to dissolve our Fed
| eral connection with our former associates I
i by their aggressions cn the fundamental ;
j principle of our compact of union with
| them ; and in doing so we exercised a
I right consecrated in the great charter of
■ American liber'y—the right of a free peo
ple, when a Government proves destruo- 1
I live of the ends for which it was esfabhsh
ed, tojtcur to the original principles, and
I to institute new guards for their security. :
! The separate independence of the States,'
j as the sovereign and co-equal members \
i of the Federal Union, had never been
| surrendered, and the pretensions of up-.
plying to independent communities, so
constituted and organized, the ordinary
rules for coercing and reducing rebellious [
subjects to obedience, was a solecism iu
terms, as well as au outrage on the princi
ples of public law.
“The war made upon the Confederate
Slates was, therefore, wholly one of ag-,
gression. On our side it has been strictly 1
defensive. Born freemen and the descen- !
dauts of a gallant ancestry, we had no op- :
turn but to %taud up in defense of our in
vaded firesides, of our desecrated altars, of
our violated liberties and birthright-, and j
of the proscriptive institutions which
guard and protect them We have not
interfered, nor do we wish in any manner
whatever to interfere with the internal
peace and prosperity of the States arrayed .
in hostility against us, or with the freest ;
I development of their destinies in any form
1 of action or line of policy they may think
| proper to adopt for themselves. All wo
j ask is a like immunity for ourselves, and
I to be left to ourselves iu the undisturbed
j enjoyment of tlio.se inalienable rights of
. “life, liberty and the pursuit of happi
| ness,” which our common ancestors de-
I clart-d to be the equil heritage of all the
parties to the social compact.
“Let them forbear aggression upon us,
and the war is at an end. If there be
questions which require adjustment by ne
gotiations, we bare ever been willing, and
are still willing to enter into communica
tion with our adversaries, in a spirit of
peace, of equity, and of manly frankness.
Strong in the persuasion of the justice of
our cause, in the manly devotion of our
citizen soldiers, and of the whole body of
our people, and above all in the gracious
protection of Heaven, we ate not afraid to
avow a sincere desire for peace on terms
o insistent with our honor and the perma
nent security of our lights, and an earnest
aspiration to see the world oneo mo'o re
stored to the benetiefent pursuits of indus
try, and of mutual intercourse and exchan
ges, so essential lo its well-being, and
which have been so gravely interrupted
by the existence of this unuatuial war in
America.
“B it if our adversaries, or those whom
they have placed in power, deaf to the
voice of reason and justice, steeled to the
j dictates of prudence and humanity by a
presumptuous and delusive confidence in
! their own numbers, or those of their black
and foreign mercenaries, shall determine
upon an indefinite prolongation of tho
i contest, upon them be* the responsibility
I of a decision so ruinous to themselves and
sO injurious to tho interest and repose of
mankind.
“Fir ourselves we hive ti > fair o(*the
■ j result. The wildest picture ever drawn ;
by a disordered imagination comes short 1
, of the extravagance which would dream
; of the conquest of eight millions of people,
resolved with one mind “to die freemen
: rather than live slaves," #nd forewarned
by the ravage and exterminating spirit 5a j
which this war has been waged upon them,
' and by the mad avowals of the supporters !
lof ibe. worse than I'vyptian bondage that
awaits them in the event of their subjuga
, ' L.MI
“With (her* ilednmtioiig of onr dispo
sitions, our principles and our purposes,
Iwe commit ouv cause to the enlightened
■ judgment of world, to the sober refleo-!
: lions of our adversaries themselves, and '
| to the solemn and righteous arbitrament of!
heaven. *
A V/onderful Discovery,
i The stone nui'ons engaged in laying
the foundation of the new blacksmith shop
| at the rolling mill of Wood, Morrell &Co., i
Johnstown, Cam Win county, iu breaking
a large sandstone it. two, the other day,
I discovered a frog, pressed as flat as a cent, |
! and lying iu a crevice of the cavity of ibe
| stone, from which there was no- visible
j outlet.
As soon us it fell out it began to manifest;
symptoms of life, and before one hour, it
[ was us large, plump and lively us any oth
|er frog. It appears, however to be blind
j at present, the eyes appear perfect i
; it may regain its-sight. The rock from
I which it was taken was quarried from some j
j nt the spurs of Laurel Hill, about thir
j ty years ago, wheu the Pennsylvania canal
i was constructed, and built in a wall,.where
i it remained till a few days ago, when it
j was removed to be put in the foundation
i before mentioned.
Of the real age of his frog ship, says the
| Johnstown Democrat, wo are in entire ig
: uorauoo. It may be a pre-Adamite, an
antediluvian or a postdiluvian, or it may
he a millionarian or even a centenerian
The rock is a loose sand stone formation,
e arse in tho grains and of a rusty color,
and may be very ancient.. As there was
no crevice in the stone except the bod in
which it lay, it certainly has been there
for the last thirty years, and it may have
danced at mother Eve’s wedding for aught
we kuow.
If it was in prison when the Barons at
Runncmede extorted the Magna Charta
, 1 from King it John, must have experienced
; a thrill of joy upon the reception of such
I cheering news, but then how depressed
! the poor thing must fcavc felt when he
learned that the trial by jury aud the gen-'
eral jail delivery therein secured was not
’ for frogs. If it could speak we would like
to ask it something about the origin of the
! Indian tribes found on this continent by i
j I'olumhus, and learn tho precise site of
i the great towa of Kiokedapawling. But i
| it cannot speak, and all tho fame it can j
I ever acquire here below is that it will be j
I pronounced by all men the “oldest inhab- ;
1 itant” of the Western Eoutinent now j
! known. i
.Simplicity in Dress.—Those who |
i think in order to dress well, it is access* |
ry to dress extravagantly or grandly, make
a great mistake. Nothing so well becomes j
I true feminine beauty as simplicity. We ■
I have seen many a remarkably fine person
robbed of its true effect by being over I
I dressed. Nothing is more unbecoming
| than overloading beauty. The stern sim-,
I plicity of the classic tastes is seen in the
old statues’ and pictures painted by men
!of superior artistic genius. Iu Athens j
! the ladies were uot graudily but simply ar
| rayed, and we doubt whether any ladies i
: ever excited more admiration. So also
the noble old Roman matrons, whose su
perb form* were gazed on delightedly by I
I men worthy of them, were always very i
, plainly dressed. Fashion often presents j
the hues of the butterfly, bat fashion is l
j nut a classic goddess.
i Relics of llubinsg.Y Crusoe —Die j
. oup ami ciiest of Alexander Selkirk, the
■ world-famed Robinson Crusoe of Defoe, |
have now become the property of Mr. |
James Hutchinson, < f the Scotch Ware- ;
| house, 48 Warwick street, London •—|
: These interesting relics have up to this !
i time remained in the possession of Sel- •
kirk’s descendants, in L-trgn, Fife, where |
1 lie was born. Tho cup was put upon a i
sulk and mounted with silver, by Sir
Walter Scott. Tt is made out of a cocoa- i
ii nut and rudely carved. The chest is very I
' heavy, and is very curiously dovetailed
.litis Mr. Hutchinson's intention to ex
i hibit the articles in L mdon.— Scotsman- \
An Obi" Abolition stumper, while j
making a speech, paused iu the midst of!
I I it, and exclaimed, “Now gentlemen, what I
!do you think ?’’ Instantly n man rose in |
i the assembly, with one eye partially clos
| ed, modestly r plied, “1 think, sir, I do 1
i indeed, sir, I think if you and I should I
I stump the country together we would tell
| more lies than any other two men in the '
j country, sir, and I'd not say a word during j
■ the whole time, sir.’’
A Good Example.—Osesar has bad
; the testimony of ages to his bravery, and
yet ho refused a challenge from Antony
I He very calmly answered the bearer of
! tho message: If Antony is weary of his
life, tell him there are other ways of death
beside the point of ray sword.” How
well would it b;t if there were more in
stances of the like in icpen lencn of mind !'
Bbjy* A boat has been built for Yale
students which is so niody balanced that
the rowers are obliged to part thoir haif
in the middle t" keep their balance.
- i -s ,-iwi u uiu- Jiv.jiuu4.r ——.
“ Taraed- Up Again.” t
It. is sometime*) said that troth is stran
ger than fiction, a saying in which most
people implicitly believe, or are ready to
believe, from hearing it perpetually dingo
ed info their ears. An illustration of the
trite saying has just come under our ob
servation, and bus suggested, as an appro
priate introduction, a repetition of the
saying above quoted. Many queer cir
cumstances, wild romances and singular
stories have been woven* out of this war,
and the following facts may bo reckoned:
among them : i
On the breaking out. af the rebellion, a
young married man iu ibis city volunteer
ed in one of our regiments, and loft a wife
uud child under the protection of hi*{
triouda, while ho weut to try his fortune
in the field. His regiment was hotly un
gaged ut Stone river, and his name was
reported in the list of killed. Tlierc
scc.ued to be no doubt of his deulh, as
several comrades declared they saw him
fall, aud knew whore he wag buried.
Tile sad news of bis death was brought!
homo to bis wife, aud after the hitler tears
of sorrow had fallen she became calm, aud j
as a last rite duo him, decided to have
hU remains brought home for burial.—
Several kmd friends assisted her, and af
ter a time a metallic- coffin arrived, coa
tsioing tho supposed remains of her bus-
baud. The body was iu an advanced state
of decomposition, and the burial case was
not opened, but, after the usual funeral
services, was duly interred in one of our
city cemeteries. No one had auy doubts
as to his deatli iu the manner stated, and
the young wife mourned bis untimely
death with sincere grief. But after due
time her baud was sought iu marriage by
a very wi rtby young man-
The offer was accepted, and they wore
soon united, and have been living togeth
er for the last four or five months very
happily. But at last a shadow has eclips
ed their sunshine. A few days since an
exchanged prisoner, just from tho South,
arrived in this city, and left a message;
from the supposed deceased husband D>
bis wife, stating that ho was alive and
well, and a prisoner in'rebel bands; that
be was at length in daily expectation of
being exchanged, and he looked forward
to a happy meeting witli her at no distant i
day. The situation of the lady and her;
husband with whom she is now living can-;
be better imagined than described, ft is
supposed that the husband, at least, con*
eiders it very unfortunate that at this late
day tho first should have “turned up j
again.”— Chicago Times.
A Water Fight.—l saw at Ceylon!
what the people cull a water fight, between
two competitors, for a dark-eyed maid ;,
one of the lovers, the challenger, being
highly exasperated by jealousy. They j
stood up to their kuees iu the lake, oppo-;
site each other; aud, with their hands,]
constantly dashed the water iu a curious ;
and export manner, into each other's!
faces. I Saw the combatants thus (f can
scarcely say hotly) engaged, about nine in |
the morning; aud at three in tho after-'
noon they were still hard at work, and;
the battle was then doubtful; for, accord
ing to established rule, whichever of the '
two warriors, no matter what may bo the
pretence or cause, stops first, if it be only
fur a moment, ilasbiug water at his adver
sary, is considered to be vanquished.-
Hundreds of people Were looking 00, ap
parently interested iu the result; as he
who is thus overcome, as they assured me,
is never known to aspire to the hand of
the lady.-— Col. Campbell.
Heat from the Stars.—lt is a start
ling fact that if the earth Wore dependent
alone upon the sun fur heat, it would not
get bent enough to keep existence In ani
mal or vegetable life upon its surface. It
results from the researches of Pouillct that
the stars furnish beat enough in the course
of the year to melt a crust of iue seventy
five Let thick —almost as much as ta sup
plied by the suu This may appear
strauge when we consider how immeasura
bly small must be the amount of boat
from any one of those distant bodies.—
Hut the surprise vanishes when wo remem
ber that the whole firmniiienl is so thickly
sown with stars, that In some places thou
sands are crowded together within a space
no greater than that occupied by tHu full
ipoou. The eye caun q see more than a
thousand at the same time, in the dourest
heaven, yet the number U pobaoly infi
nite. From the first-tu the sixth.niagui-.-
tU’le, inclusive, the torn! number of visi
ble stars is 8,128. Dr. Lanhn r,
Tom is a bright little boy, and very
much attached to his mother. Tile other
day his father came home in a bad humor,
and was scolding and finding fault wit.li
things generally. Little Tom sat aud lis
tened until be thought it necessary to ih
teifere in behalf-of his mother, when look
ing up at bis father, he said, iu a very do
cided tone : ■
“If y--u did not like tur ways, what did
you marry her for ?”
1 need scarcely add that the weather
cleared up at once, and the storm was
over.
Jsif A witty fellow happening to step
in at a little ale house ouo day, culled
for a gtuss of the refreshing beverage.— 1
After drinking it, he said to his landlady,
with tho air of one who hits some great so
cret’to communicate, “Mrs 1).,ril tell
you how you can sell a great deal more*
ale than you do.’’ “How is that '! ’ .she
askud. “Dou't soil so much froth,” was
the reply.
YOL. VIII.—NO. 28.
Li ! ..—U-Ui'iaj. lu.i.iaasßHWHS*
A Beautiful Swiss Custom—The
horn of the Alps is employed, in the
mountainous districts of Switzerland nut
solely to sound the call-call, bqt for anoth
er purpose. As soon as the sun, has dis
appeared in the valley, and its last ray*
aro just glimmering on the snowy, sum
mits of the mountains then the herdsman
who dwells on the loftiest, takes his horn
aud trumpets forth, “Praiso God the
Lord I” All the herds in the neighbor- •
hood, on bearing this vomo out of their
huts, take their horns and repeat the
! words. This often continues a quarter of
au hour, whilst on all sides the mountains
! coho the name of God. A profound and
| solemn stillness follows; every individual
; offers bis secret prayer on bonded knees
'and uncovered head. “Good night!.''
i trumpets forth the herd on the loftiest
summit. “Good night I” is repeated on
alLthu mountains from the horn of the
; herdsman and the cleft of the rooks.—
Thou eacli lays himself down to rest.
Jock’s I’kaveh , Ankweiiei>.—Once
I up“U a time there resided in Pecbleshire,
; Scotland, a half-witted sort of a man, who
| had a notion that he was rather religious,
i and who was in the habit of saying his
prayers in a field behind the turf-dyke.—
; One day this individual was followed in
] his retirement by some evilrdisposod pov
* sons, who, screening themselves on tho op
] posite side, prepared to listen to what h
should say,
Jock commenced his devotions, aud
amongst other things, expressed his con
viction that he was a very great siunor,
aud that even were the turf-dyke at that
moment to fall upon him, it would be no
more than he deserved, No sooner had
he said this, when tho persons on the op
posite side pushed the dyke over upon him.
Scrambling out from amongst the Rebru,
Joek was heard saying :
“Ilech, sirs ! it s an awfu’ world thin;
a body cannot say a thing in joke hut its
ta’en in earnest.’’— E/iii!>n,yh Cowan*.
•*.*—- —-
Most too Sudden - -—An old lady, a
resident nf Providence: who had never rid
den in the oars, was persuaded, by the
| combined efforts nf her children, James
; and Miry, to aucffiipahv them or, an ex-,
icursion, she all the time saying that she
knew something would happen. She
j toak her seat with fear and trembling,
| taking hold of the arm of tho seat next
the passage-way. Tim train was late, ks
i excursion trains arc usually, and iu com
ing round a curve the Boston express
train was on the same track, both near
ing each other faster than was pleasant.—
The momentum of each train was nearly
j lost, and they eamo together with a
! chuck, which pitched the old lady on her
| face in the passage-way between the scats.
| She rose to her hands, and looking back,
: asked—“Jcems, do they alius stop like
I that
j Bat)'" During a marriage ceremony the
I hriii. was sobbing immoderately while tho
: knot was being lied. “What is the mat
i ter, my young woman?” asked the offi
! eial. “Oh, sir,” replied the bride, “it is
j because it is forever." “No, uo,” rc
| plied the parson, “that is a mistake—a
grout mistake; it’s not forever. Death
puts au end to lie engagement.” On
hearing this, the bride dried her tears
and was consoled.'’
Quite Cool —A carpenter, who was
always prognosticating evil to himself,
was one Jay upon the roof of a five-story
building, upon which had fallen rain.—
The roof being slippery, ho lost his foot
ing, and, as ho was descending towards
tin; caves, be exclaimed, “Just as I told
you!” Patching, however, in the tin
: spout, he kicked offhis shoes, nod regain
ed a place nf safety, from which he thus
delivered himself: “1 know’d it; there’s
pair of shoes gone to thunder I"
._
WST An admirer of Ben. Butler, wri
ting in a Boston paper, culls him “the
Nero of the war.” Perhaps he meant to
; write //-ro, but Providence and tho types
corrected his blunder. So the types
make a Washington letter writer "ay that
“the President is busy entertaining the
Ryffinit* ” (lie probably meant the. Rut
sian*.j That is what he has been doing
ever since he went to Washington.
- -
Not to be Bluffed.—“ Well said a
Yankee, proudly, to a travelling Scot, a*
ilo y stood by the Falls of Niagara, “is not
that wonderful ? In your country you
never saw anything like that ? *
•‘Bike that I” ((noth the latter; “there's
afar more wondi rlul concern twa miles
true whaor 1 was bum."
“Indeed! 1 say* Joan than ; “and pray,
what kind of a uuiieer uuiay it bo V *
“Why, uiou,” replied the other, ‘‘it’s a
peacock wi’ a wooden leu.’’
■ A minister having walked through
a village churchyard, aud observed the
indiscriminate praises bestowed upon the
dead, wrote on the gale-post, the follow
ing lino : “Here lie the- dead, and hero
the livim: Re."
- - • —— *>■♦ - - ■
“Allot,'’ inquired u medical prodigy,
fresh from a Vet ure on surgery, “what do
you think is the most difficult operation
in surgery?" “Don’t know, Charles;
what?’’ “Taking the jaw off a woman,”
1 answered the hopeful student.
A -Small Hour, —A Canada former re
: cenfly wanted his wife’s funeral postponed
joii account of the noo-arrivsl of profes
sional gentleman who was to extract seve
ral teeth from lied containing SI'S worth
of gold filling.

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