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THE .EGIS & INTELLIGENCER.
81.50 PER ANNUM. 8188 & CO. Baltimore Stove House, No. 39 LIGHT STREET, mmw. Housekeepers, Look to your Interest! 8188 & CO. are now prepared to pre sent greater attractions and induce-| ments than lliis establishment ever before offered, basing the assertion upon tire fol lowing facts 4 Ist. The variety, beauty and excellence of oiir patterns. 2d. The unsurpassed finish of our cast ings. 3.1. The thorough manner whicli every Stove is mounted. 4th, The quality of the material used in the stoves’ construction. sth. Our determination to recommend nothing we sell but what is good. Gill. The cheapness ol our goods com pared with their quality. 7lh. Our readiness to attend to small orders with the characteristic faithfulness ! •we bestow-upon larger ones. ans | Franidinville Store Baltimore. County. KEEP constantly on hand a large and well assorted stock o( all kinds of Goods adapted to the wants of the public, such as Dry Goods, Groceries, HARDWARE, 5333& SALJfctf* NOTioKre, CHINA AND GLASS WARE, In fact any and every variety of articles necessary to a well assorted slock, all of which will be sold at very lowest Cash prices. The Factory being in operation, it affords a fine market for mvsxr imms. for which the highest prices will be paid, i The public are invited to call. f'e2G new piii. ; ffHE undersigned have just received a j * large and well selected stock of Goods i suitable for the season. They are con- 1 stantly making up the neatest work, and the newest and most fashionable style of; Bonnets for the Spring and bum- j BjSp mer, to which they invite the utten- ! Vltv. tion of the citizens of the town and, the surrounding country. They also de sire an occasional call from their Baltimore friends, when they want something, of ex-, tra style and finish, as they are aware that the undersigned ran and will take pleasure in putting up work of that description, i In addition to all styles of Bonnets, they keep constantly on hand a variety of LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S Such as Ribbons, Laces, Gloves, Hosiery, Suspenders, and many other articles in the Notion line. Thankful for the liberal patronage here tofore given the firm, they expect by strict attention to business to merit its continu-1 a nee. M. J. WRIGHT &, MITCHELL, Washington street, two doors north of the Railroad, am) next door to Nixon’s i Hotel, Havre-de-Grack. scp2s j FARMERS, TAKE NOTICE! fe- WJ are at '' nies paying in cash W VV Port Depositc prices lor • GRAIN, AT OCR WABIDOCSK IN liapidum, Harford County, Md. Have also on hand a large and well se lected stock of iWßftElt, Well seasoned and of good quality. FINE BONE, GUANO, PHOSPHATE , PZiASTZ3£I & SALT, Constantly on hand. Farmers will find it to their interest to give us a cull. ANDREW ABELS. ju26 Agent for Davis & Pugh. EXECUTORS’ NOTICE. i LS TO GIVE NOTICE, That the sub- X seribers have obtained from the Register of, Wills of Harford county, Md., Letters Testamen tary on the personal estate of J. SIDNEY HALL, late of Harford Comity’ dec’d. All persons hav ing claims against said deceased are hereby noti fied to exhibit the same, with the legal vouchers thereof, on or before the 26 1 h day of July, 1865, or they may otherwise by law be excluded from I all benefit of said estate. All persons indebted to said estate are request- < ed to make immediate payment. Given under my band and seal this 26th dav of July, 1864. ANDREW HALL, j *us • Executor. COAL! COAL! fPHE undersigned keeps constantly on 1 hand all kirns of'WHITE and KF.D j ASH COAL, which he will sell by the cargo or single ton. JOSEPH M. SIMMONS. ; ju]7 IJavre-de-Gracc, Md. “LET US CLING TO THE CONSTITUTION 1 AS TUE MARINER CLINGS TO THE LAST PLANK WHEN THE NIGHT AND TEMPEST CLOSE AROUND HIM.” THE mis AN3 IHTELLI3ENCER IS PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY -MORNING, i BY BATEMAN & BAKER, j 'at One Dollar and Fifty Cents Per Annum , 1 IN ADVANCE, OTHSnWISB TWO DOLLARS WILL BE CHARGED. | RATES OF ADVERTISING. One square, (eight lines or less,) three inser- [ lions, SI.OO. Each subsequent insertion 25 cts. One square three mouths, $3.00; Six months, | $5.00; Twelve months, SB.OO. Business cards of six lines or less, $5 a year. \ No subscription taken for less than a year. poetical. ■' THE CHILDREN’S HOUR. Between the dark and the daylight, j When the night is beginning to hover, I Comes a pause in the day's occupations, That is known as the children’s hour. I hear in the chamber above me, The patter of little feet, The sound of a door that is opened, And voices soil and sweet. From ray study I see in the lamplight Descending the broad hall atair, Grave Alice and laughing Ailegra, And -Sdith with gulden hair. A whisper, and then a silence; Yet I know by their merry eyes, They ate plotting and planning together, To take me by surprise. A sudden rush from the stairway, A sudden raid from the hall I By three doors left unguarded They enter my castle wall I They climb up into my turret O’er the arms and back of my chair; If I try to escape they surround me, They seem to be everywhere. They almost devour me with kisses, Their arms about me entwine, Till I think of the Bishop of Bingen In his mouse-tower ou the Rhine 1 | Do you think, O bine-eyed banditti, j Because yon have scaled the wail, Such an old moustache as 1 am, Is not a match tor you all! I i I have you fast in my fortress, ! And will not let you depart, But pul you down into the dungeon In the rouud-tower of my heart. Ami there will I keep you forever ; 1 Yes. forever and a day, Till the walls shall crumble to ruin j And moulder in dust away ! LONGFEI.LOW. i Hiistdlantflus. How Girls are Bought and Sold in Mar riage in France. You know how strictly the young girls arc guarded in France under the eyes of their parents, aud how completely their personal independence is sacritied to “pro priety” and their parents’ will. A gentle man who lately vtsitod a matrimonial office iu this city, with a view of obtaining an insight into the operations of the system, ! gives some interesting details iu regard to . it. The world, it appears, has in general i a false idea of these establishments, at least of ibis one. It is generally believed that the chief of the establishment keeps i under key a battalion of ladies that are ! made to trot aioui.d under the eyes of the visitor, who stands in the position of the sultan, ready to throw the handkerchief. Some suppose that they are permitted' to see the ladies who wish to marry through a keyhole, or some other form of unsuspec ted bull’s eye. On the contrary, nothing is more simple than this establishment, aud at the same time nothing is more com plicated than this whoelwork. The women have little to do io these j operatioLs, nearly all the business being j accomplished between men. In the con- \ jugal comedy, of which the chief of the I establishment is the manager, the women play part without lluir knowing it —! Thus, bo has correspondents iu all the ! largo towns. He is in relation with ! all, or nearly all, the notaries iu France, who keep him advised of the different heiresses whose affairs they manage The chief arranges these heiresses by divisions, according to their importance, and he I pretends that he is the only man in France who can say, approximately, each hour, the total of the united wealth of the heir ■ esses of the empire. A gentleman wishes to get married.— He is a lawyer, an agent, or u merchant. J He presents himself to the chief of the matrimonial establishment, who demands first to know what are bis pretensions 1 After his visit, the first duty of the agent is to seek information of the character and position of the candidate, aud if these are \ [ satisfactory, he appoints a new rendezvous, ! j and proposes to life client different ladies. I (Tlie ladies, you will recollect, are all the j time ignorant that they are the object of I a speculation j When the parties come I to terms, the matrimonial agent puis a ! | plan in op- ration to bring the lady and gen- 1 j Human together, and he arrives at this re-1 : suit naturally, without the lady ever sus pecting that she is a puppet moved by a i thread iu the hands of a matrimonial agent. If the hoire-s lives in the provinces, ! the agent addr sses a letter to his eorres ! | pondeii’, who can always find a means of ; bringing these ur.kn >wu individuals! 1 info eao i other’s presence. A soirco, j PEL AIR, Ml). FRIDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 2, 1864. ! ball, an accidental meeting at the house . 1 of a third party —there there are many i occasions of' uniting these two stars, des- I tilled to shine iu the same firmament.- | Once in The presence of. the object, the | rest is the gentleman's own business ; be i must put bis talent to play. If the fish i bites, it is a gain of time lor the agent to | step in, and through the agency of the , I notary, make for the pretend-ant the offi cial demand, as is the custom in France, I I for the baud of the lady. And thus the | agent accomplishes without the knowledge I of the world, or of one-half of the parties I concerned, a high social mission, since it is that of rendering people happy, and j propagating the species. Here is an example of the manner in which these marriages are brought ojiout. The affair occurred in the Department of the Nord : At Lille there lived, three months ago, | I a handsome young girl, who had a for- J ; tune of six hundred thousand francs to i bestow ou the husband of her choice. — All the youug men of that country had ! made efforts to roach the heart of tho heiress in vain. She believed that, not-! withstanding her beauty, her admirers I sighed more for her francs than for her, person. She wished to beloved (the old ! story !) for herself—a , log cabiu and her heart. * In her quality of rich heiress the name ; of the young girl was, naturally, found in scribed in the books of the aforesaid mat- \ riiuonial agent. Her name stood high up iu the list of the first category—one of | the rarest flowers of the matrimonial bou quet. At that period our ageut protected a handsome young fellow, who desired nothing belter than such a match as this. 1. The agent pointed to the young Lilloise ieloile 'hi j\unl. He wrote at the same moment to his correspondent, put him in-; to the secret of tho affair, anil sent him I three thousand francs to enable him to ! give a ball, to whicli was to bo invited ull 1 1 the flower of the town. 1 The morning of the ball the young man fell,-as if by accident, at the correspond ent’s house, like a friend who makes a visit unheralded, appeared at the ball and danced with the young girl, letting off in her honor a whole volley of compliments, aud dwelling especially upon his quality as u stranger Ho knew no one iu the city; he was completely ignorant of the name of the lady with whom he bud the happiness to dance ; but bo had never been dazzled with such bright eyes, he had never seen or admired such hair, he ! had never seen such patrician ha ads. .such ! a flexible waist, such pretty feet, sucb ! perfect grace, &c. After the first contra-dance, he solicited the favor of a waltz,’then a- mazourka, then a schotfische. lie showed himself during the whole evening so completely devoted to the young girl, that the latter, reflecting that the good looking stranger had only arrived in the morning, and con sequently could not know the figure of her marriage portion, believed that at last she had found the ideal of her dreams, the enthusiastic Werther, tho St. Preux of platonic love. A few days afterward, the young man obtained, through the kind offices of his friend, the correspondent, an invitation to the soirees of the parents of the young girl, an 1 the Paris agent has just received a letter from his cot respondent at Lille, which reads us follows : My Dear Sir : Tho game is bagged. Yesterday I conducted the shepherdess to the altar, and to-day I pocketed my six thousand francs. And that is one way in which young girls are bought and sold in France, with out their knowing it, A Fruitful Vine - Iu the Ilarleiaii MSS. wo find mention made of a certain Scottish weaver, who had no less than sixty-two children, aud all, by one wife. This family included j four daughters who lived to be women, j aud the rest of the three-score and two were boys, who all lived to be baptised. Out of these, forty-six actually reached j man's estate. Tho writer, one Thomas ; Gibbous, adds, that during the lime of this fruitfulness ou the part of the wife, the husband was absent for some five years in the Low Countries, where he served under Captain Selby; aud that after his return home his wile was again delivered of three children at a birth, and “con tinued in her due time iu such births” until he ceasod childbearing. The informant of Mr. Gibbons was John Delaval, Esq., of Northumberland, who was high sheriff of that county iu 1625, and who, iu 1630, rode from New castle to a place about thirty miles beyond Ediubuigh, to see ibis worthy aud fruit ful couple Mr. Delaval, however, did uot find any of the children then residing with their parents, though three or four of them were living at Newcastle at the i lime. It appears ib„t Sir John Bowes, aud other wealthy Northumbrian “gentle men of quality,” adopted and brought up the children in batches of ten and twelve a piece, that tho residue wore “disposed | cf’’ by others among the Scottish and | English gentlemen of the Border Coun | try. Once a Week, Experiments that have recently ! been made in France show that a hors can live seventeen days without food or ; drink, and twenty-five days upon water i ! alone. If he consumes solid food wittiout 1 i dunking, he can only live five da_,s. A | horse that had been d pnved of w ter for \ ! throe days duuli e! •. gallons in three j J minutes. Goethe s Mother. ! His mother was but eighteen when he was boru. She was a lively girl, full of German sentiment, with warm impulses, I by no means much troubled with a con science, exceedingly afraid of her husband, who was near twenty years her senior, and seemingly both willing and skillful in the j invention of i ccasioual white lies adapted i to screen her children from bis minute, fidgetly, and rather austere superinten dence. Sho “spoiled” her children on! principle, and made no pretension to cod- | duct a systematic training, which she ab- I borred. She said of herself in after years, ! that she- could “educate no child, was ! quite unlit fur it. gave them- every wish so j long as they laughed and were good, aud | whipped them if they cried and made wry ! mouths, without ever looking for any rea j son why they laughed or cried.” Her be- i I lief in Providence was warm with German | sentiment, and not a little tinged with su perstition. She rejoiced wfe n. her son i published the “Confessions of B 'autiful j Soul,” which she loved us a memorial of j a lust pictistio friend. Her religion,was j one of emotion rather than of moral rover -1 cure. She was generous aud extravagant. I I and, after her husband’s death, seems to | I have spent capital us well as income.— I ! She Was passionately fond of the theatre, j ! a taste which she transmitted to her son. | Her hearty simplicity of nature made her everywhere loved. Her servants! I loved aud stayed with her to the last.- j , She seems to have had at Last as much ! [ humor as her sou, which, for Germans, was not inconsiderable, aud not much more sense of awe. She gave the must detailed | orders for her owu funeral, and even spe cified the kind ol wine and the size of the .cracknels with which the mourners were i lo bo regaled; ordering the servants not ! to put too few raisins into the cakes, as she never could endure that in her life, and it • would certainly chafe her in her grave Having been invited to go to a party on 1 the day on which she died, she sent lor answer that “Madame Goethe could not | coins, ns she was engaged just then in dy- | #ng.” Yet her sensitiveness was so great j that she always made it a condition with ; her servants that they should never re- i peat to her painful news that they j bad picked up accidentally, as she wished i to hear nothing sad without absolute ne cessity. Aud during her son s dangerous illness at Weimar, iu 1805, no one ventur ed to speak to her of it till it was passed, though she affirmed that she had been con | ■ scions all the time of his danger without | • the heart to mention it. This peculiarity i Goethe inherited.—A Tathnutl Review, . ; Shabby Genteel.— Among all the ! pitiable and appalling sights which assail the eyes, and through them the heart, none eau bear comparison with that which exhibits the peculiar circumstance which, in common parlance, is known as shabby gentility. There is a mute development of all the aggregate of human suffering in it—a development of intolerable -yet un- i complaining torment, which excites the tenderest regard iu tho beholder, and the most unselfish sympathy. There is some thing gross in bodily suffering; but men- j tal pain is delicate in its intrinsic nature. | The dignified suffering of shabby gcutili-1 ty is- the'very realization of what poets' call, “exquisite agony.’’ There is some-; thing iu tiic battered hat, the threadbare! coat, and the disordered but highly lus- j Irons boots, which the flintiest of natures cannot deny. Poverty dots not always address it self to the sympathies, aud seldom, if! over, id the ratio of its degree. The-poor j homeless vagabond, iu tatters and tilth, the shivering mendicant, whose empty pockets Cannot afford him more than a mouldy crust to gnaw, extorts charity more frequently than he invites. But shabby gentility seduces the finer instincts of ttic charitable man, and wins upon hu man nature iusensibly. It is uot the number of tatters, nor the hideous miuu t.as of privations, but that which lies be neath the threadbare suit —iho mental suffering, of which this is the evidence aud the symbol. In this lies the vital principle ou which the pathetic quality of shabby gentility is based. Keep Busy.— Men who have half a dozen irons in tho tiro are uot the ones to go crazy It is the man of voluntary or compelled leisure who mopes, and pines, | and thinks himself into the madhouse or ! the grave. Motion is all Nature’s law. j Action is man’s salvation, physical and ; mental. And yet, nine out of ten are j w.stfully looking forward lo the coveted \ hour when they shall have leisure to do ! nothing, or something, only if they feel > like it—the very siren that has lured in ! death many a “successful” mao. Ho only is truly wise who lays himself out lo woik ! till life’s latest hour, and that is the man who will live the longest, and ,li ii>e to! most purpose. Couldn’t Turn IDs stomach.—A newly arrived student at a o-ituiu college down east chanced one day lo dine at the same table w.th one of tne professors.— As soon ..o iliu company were seated, the student in the surpise and merriment of ; ibe test, began belpiug himself to the dif tei'eut viands placed before him. “Hold j on a moment, my friend,” said the profes | sor, gravely, lay ing lus band on tho young | man s arm, “1 Lave a few words to say be-J ; fore you begin.” The student looked the : professor in the eye a moment, and then | coolly remarked, “Well, jus! say what you please ; you can’t turn my stomach.” A Yankee Story. An Englishman was bragging of the English ■ railroads to a Yankee traveler seated at his side in one of the cars of a “fast train,’’ in England The engine bell was rung as the train neared a sta tion. It suggests to the Yankee an op portunity of “taking down his companion a peg or two.’’ “What's that noise?’’ innocently enquired the Yankee. “We are approaching a town,” said the Englishman; they have to commence ringing about ten miles before they get to a station, or else the train would run by it before the bell could bo heard ! Won derful, isn’t it?, I suppose they haven’t invented bells in America yet?” “Why, yes,” replied the Yankee, “we’ve got bells, but can’t use them on our rail roads. We run so ’tarnel fast that the . train always keeps ahead of the sound ; No us • whatever ; the sound never reaches I | the village till after the train gets by.” I “Indeed!’’ exclaimed the Bnglish- I man. “Fact,” said the Yankee; “had to give i np hells. Then we tried whistles—but they woul iu t answer, either. I was on -a locomotive when the whistle was tried. | We were going at a tremendous rate— I hurricanes were nowhere, and I had to j hold my hair on. We saw a wagon crossing the track about five miles ahead, and the engineer let the whistle on, screeching like a trooper. It screamed | awfully, but it wasn’t no use. The next 1 thing I knew, I was picking myself out of a pond by the roadside, amid the frag ments of the locomotive, dead horses, broken wagon, and dead engineer lying , beside me. Just then the whistle come along, mixed up with some frightful oaths that I heard the engineer use when I he first saw the horses. Poor fellow ! he was dead before his voice got to him. • “After that we tried lights, supposing these would travel faster than the sound. Wo got some so powerful that the chick i ens woke up all along the road when wo i canie by, supposing it to be morning.— I But the locomotive kept ahead of it still, and was in the darkness, with the light close on behind it. The inhabitants pe.i tioned against it; they could not sleep with so much light in the night time.— Finally wo had to station electric tele graphs along the road, with signal men to telegraph when the train was in sight; and I have heard that some of the fust traits beat the lightning fifteen minutes every forty miles. But I can’t say as , that is true ; but the rest I know to bo I *•” _____ Grass Everywhere —Universality of grass is one of the most poetical of facts j in the economy of the world. There is [ ; no place which it will not beautify. It j ! climbs up the steep mountain passes, I which are inaccessible to man, and forms j ledges of green, amid the rivings of the | crags; it leaps down between steep, shclv- I ing precipices, and there fastens its sleu : der roots in the dry crevices, which the ; earthquakes bad rent long ago, and into | which the water trickles, when the snn ! beams strike the hoary snows above.— There it leaps and twines in the morning! ! light, and flings its sweet, street laughing greenness to the sun ; there it creeps and j | climbs about the- mazes of solitn 1, and j waves its airy tassels with the wind. It | beautifies even that spot, and spreadsover the sightless visage of death and darkness, the serene beauty of a summer smile, flinging its green lustre on the bold gran ite, and perfuming the lips of morning, as she stoops from Heaven to kiss the green things of the earth. It makes a moist and yielding carpet over the whole earth, on which the impetuous may pass with hurried tread, or the foot of beauty linger. And from this universality ofi growth, grass derives its specific name. The Hui.ino Passion.—ln the ‘Bald* Eagle Kidgus,” in Clinton county, Penn- j sylvania, lives a certain maiden lady.— | Twice in her lifetime she was engaged to ) be married, and twice some unforeseen! event interposed to destroy her hopes ofi matrimonial bliss. Her’s was a sad case, j Time began to wrinkle her fair brow, and ! no new suitors were there to offer them selves. To add to her distress she became sick, “nigh unto death.” The junior 1 preacher on the circuit—a largo, over i grown and bashful boy—was sent for. — ! I The sick room was well filled with sympa- j I thizing neighbors when the “young di- j j vine” made his appeareuce, and after some i , remarks, proceeded to read a portion of; | Scripture. lie fell upon the chapter in | j which the woman of Samaria is introduced, i 1 When be' read tde words, “Go cull thy ! husband,” lire sick woman groaned a lit- J tie ; Lot tt hen Lu uttered the words, “The wuu.au iiUsWered aud said 1 have no hus band,” the dying woman rose upright in her bed, her eyes flashing file us she j squeaked out the following: I “I ain’t ugoin’ to stand yer taunts, if j : you are a preacher; elear out of the house ! now! I've had two chances for a bus-j band, and will live to have another—sea , el I don’t!” — fi@-3tays were quite unknowu in Hus-; sia until Peter the Grout danced with some of the Hanoverian ladies on his journey to Pomerania. Quire astounded, the mon arch exclaimed to his suite after the ball, “What confounded bard buues these Ger man women have 1” SSa> r " There is one advantage of being a j blockhead—you are never attacked with i low splits or apoplexy. The momenta j roan can “worry” he ceases to be s fqgl. VOL. VIII.—NO. 36. A Printer on a Tramp. q A Dutchman, Bitting at the dornyf bin r tavern out West, if||ptoaohcd 1 1 thin Yankee, who is emigrating UMtaard S 0“ foot, with a bundle on a cane^lßkig -1 shoulder. • | ell Mishter Valking Shtrok, vot you i want ?" “ Rest and remfeshmeut,’’ is the ro- Pty ! “Supper and loehin, I suppose 1" i “Yes, supper and lodging.” i “I’o you a Yankee pedler, mlt chow olry in your pack, to cheat the girls i" “No sir, I am no Yankee pedler.” “A singin’ masth"r, too lazy to work?” “No, sir.” “A sbenteel shoemaker, vat loves to measure tc gals’ foots unt ankgks potter i tan to wake te shoas “No, sir, or I should certainly have I mended my own shoes.” “A book achont, vot bodders to school goiiimittees till dey do vot you vish, shuost to get rid of you ?” “Guess agaiu, sir. I am no book agent.” “To tuyvel! A dontisht, preakin’ to becple’s chaws at a doilar a sehnag?” “No, sir, I auj no tooth puller.’’ “Preuolochist, ten, feelin’ te young folks’ heads like so many cappidge “No, nor a phreuolog'st.” “Veil, ten, vat te tuyvel can you pe?— Shoost tell, unt you shall have te pest sas sage for supper, unt shtay all night, free gratis, mitout payin’ von cent, unt a chill of viskey to shtart mit in te mornin.” “I am an bumble disciple of Faust—a professor of the art of preservative of all arts —a typographer, at your service.” “Vatoh dat ?” “A printer, sir ; a man that prints book* and newspapers.” “A man vat prints pooks unt newspa pers ? Oh ! yaw, yaw, dat ih it—a man vat prints ne'wspapers ! Yaw, yaw ! I vish I may be shot if I didn’t link you vash a poor tuyvel of dishtrict school mas ter, vat vorks for nothing 'and poards around novare. I fought you vas him. Valk in, valk in, Mishter Priutcrman !” KSf'dr. Rock, the player, iftice advised a scene-shifter to get a subscription on re ceiving and accident. A few days after be desired the man to show him a list of names, which ho read, and returned it to the poor fellow, who, with seme surprise, said, “Why, Mr. Kook, won’t you give me something !” “Is it me you meau !’ says Rock, “why, mao, didn’t I gioe you the hint r person complainei to Dr. Frank lin of having been insulted by one who called him a scoundrel. “Ah,” replied the doctor, “and what did you call him ?” i “Why,’’ said he, “I called him a scoun drel, too.” “Well,” resumed Franklin, “I presume you are both gentlemen of ve racity, and as the account seems balan ced between you, each should regard it as a receipt iu full.” A punctual mania very rarely a poor man. and never a man of doubtful | credit. His smell accounts are frequently | net tied, and he never meets with difficulty i in raising money to pay largo demands.— I Small debts neglected ruin credit,and when i a man has lost that, he will hud himself at the bottom of a hill he cannot ascend. Fine sensibilities are like woodbines, delightful luxuries of beauty to twine around a solid, upright stem of understand' lug, but very poor things if they are loft tc creep along the ground. KSrlt has been thought that people are degenerating, because they don’t live us long as in the days .Methuselah. But no j body can afford to live long at the current I prices. CS>“ A famous musician, who had mada | his fortune by marriage, being requested | to sing in company, “Pemit me,’’ said he. j “to imitate the nightingale, who never ,j sings after be has made his nest.” BSa5“ “Would you like to look at the 1 moon ?” asked a ‘•professor" who had sta tioned his glass ut the a.reel coiner, of an I Emeralder. “To thodivd wid y—would | I be uf r giving ye a dime io iuok at the i mooli with one eye, wlioi 1 can 5..0 it wid | two liii* u..l cosliti me u ciutf” Kafr Tile propi iclor of a forge, not ra : markable for correctness of language, but ; who by ho..eat industry realized u com fort- I abie. independence, being called upon at a j social meeting for a teas., gave “Success to forgery ! ” believe the jury bavo been iuoc ulited for stupidity,’ said a testy lawyer. “That may be,” replied his opponent, “hot j the bar and the court are of the opinion ■ I that you had it in the natural way.” An old bachelor says that be has | received a basket of peaohes this season 1 that look as though pretty girls had watch ed their growth and tinted them with their blushes. S>The difference between an oyster and | a chicken is that one is best just out of the I shell and the other isn’t. : He that accuses all mankind of cor- I ruptiou ought to remember tba. he is sure l to couviot only one. . I I ■ t i ij Jigy Douglas Jertold calls woman’s 1 1 arms “The serpants that winds about a 1 man’s n<ck, killing his best resolutions.?’