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THE .EHIS & INTELLIGENCER.
$1.50 PER ANNUM. ‘. 8188 & CO. Baltimore Stove House, No. 39 LIGHT STREET, , . wmm Housekeepers, Look to your Interest! 8188 &CO. arc now prepared to pre sent greater aln actions and induce ments than this establishment ever before offered, basing the assertion upon the fol lowing facts : Ist. The variety, beauty and excellence of our patterns. 2d. The unsurpassed finish of gur cast ing". i • Id.' Tlic thorough 'manner which every biove is mounted. 4rh. Tlie quality of the material used in the stoves’ construction. 6ih. Our determination to recommend nothing we sell but what is good, 6lh. The cheapness ol our goods com pared with their quality. 7th. Our readiness to attend to small orders with the characteristic faithfulness we bestow upon larger ones. aus j Franklinvilie Store Baltimore County. KEEP constantly on hand a large and tVc-11 assorted slock of all kinds of Goods adapted to the wants of the public, such us Dry Goods, Groceries, HARDWARE, 5333& SASfJfc NOTIONS, CHINA AND GLASS WARE, In fact any and every variety of articles necessary to a well assorted slock, t.ll of which will be sold at very lowest Gash ) prices. The Factory being in operation, it affords a fine market for manmr s&nmx. for which the highest prices will be paid.; The public arc invited to cull. fe26 MiW Hill. •THE undersigned have just received a * large and well selected slock of Goods suitable for the season. They are con stantly making up the neatest work, and the newest and most fashionable style of Bonnets for the Spring and Snm mer, to which they invite the atten lion of the citizens of the town and | the surrounding country. They also de sire an occasional call from their Baltimore friends, when they want something of ex tra style and finish, as they are aware that the undersigned can and will take pleasure in putting up work of that description. In addition to all styles of Bonnets, they keep constantly on hand a variely of LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S ftK4Xt& WARS, Such as Ribbons, Laces, Gloves, Hosiery, Suspenders, and many other articles in the Notion line. Thankful for the liberal patronage here tofore- given the firm, they expect by strict Mtcntion to business to merit its continu ance. M. J. WRIGHT &. MITCHELL, Washington street, two doors north of the Railroad, and next door to Nixon’s Hotel, Havkg-de-Grace. sep2s FARMERS, TAKE NOTICE! WF, are at all times jmying in cash Port Deposite prices lor GRAIN, AT OCH WAREHOUSE IS Xiapidnm, Harford County, Md. Have also on hand a large and well se lected slock of Well seasoned and o( good quality. I FINE BONE, GUANO, PHOSPHATE, PLASTER & SALT, Constantly on hand. Farmers will find it to their interest to give us a call. ANDREW ABELS, ju26 Agent for Davis St Pugh. EXECUTORS’ NOTICE rT'HIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE, That the sub- X scribers Lav* obtained from the Register of Wills of Harford county, Md., Letters Tcstaiacn taiy on the personal estate of J. SIDNEY HALL,' Ute of Harford County, dee’d. AH persons hav ing claims against said deceased are hereby noti fied to exhibit the same, with the legal vouchers thereof, on or before the 20th day of July, 18C5. or they may otherwise by law be excluded from all benefit of said estate. Ail persons indebted to said estate are request ed to make immediate payment, r Given under my hand and seal this 261 h day of July, 18C4. * ANDREW HALL, aufl Executor. COALI COAL!' f|MJE undersigned keeps constantly on X hand all kinds of WHITE and RED ASH COAL, which he will sell by the cargo or single ton. JOSEPH M. SIMMONS, ju!7 llavro de-Graec, Md. “LET US CLING TO TUB CONSTITUTION AS THE MARINER CLINGS TO THE LAST PLANK WHEN THE NIGHT AND TEMPEST CX.OSB AROUND HIM.” THE m\S AND IHTELLKiENGER IS PUBLISHED j EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, BV BATEMAN & BAKER, AT One Dollar and Fifty Cents Per Annum , IN ADVANCE, OTHERWISE TWO DOLLARS WILL BE CHARGED. RATES OF ADVERTISING. One square, (eight linos or less,) three inser-j tious, SI.OO. Each subsequent insertion 25 cts. ] One square three months, $3.00 ; Six months, i 55.00; Twelve months, $8:00. Business cards of six lines or less, $5 a year. No subscription tajsen for less than a year. lilisccllaiuons. ■ Speech of Senator Allen, of Ohio. Deliv ered Before the Convention at Chicago. ! After the nomination of George B. Mc- I Clellan had been made unanimous, seve ral distinguished gentlemen made speech es. Ex-Senator Allen, of Ohio, was thus ; introduced by the President of the Con- j veutiou ; „ The President: Gentlemen of the Cou- i veutiun, we are honored with the presence! here to-day of one whose reputation has ! ever stood high with the American peo- j pie, and whose reputation is the more cn- j dearod to us from its connection with the J memory of Andrew Jackson. [Loud cheers.] I call upon Senator Alien, of Ohio, to address the Convention Mr. Allen, who was received with en thusiastic applause, spoke as follows: Gentlemen of the Convention ; Men of America; during Iho last four yeais our i tulers have beeu so unfortunate as to make ; ] political and military mistakes, which have | exposed this nation to the complicated) ; dangers of disintegration, despotism and ' ! anarchy.- [Cheers.] The people of the I nation at large, irrespective of party badg-! os and distinctions, have become appalled at the dangers which threaten it iu the near future, and have looked around to hud ou earth some power capable of res cuing them from these dangers to which they are exposed,"and by which they arc environed They have found but one pow er, and that is the old Democracy of the j United Stales. [Great cheering.] In obedience to the call of this endm- j gered country, you have come forward ; hero and tendered your services to aid the balance of your eouutrymeu in the salva tion of your country. [Cries of “good,” and cheers.] Your deliberations are about to be brought to a conclusion; and, fully aware that it was the unhappy split, ia our ranks four years ago which opened the way for the ingress of this destructive power, you are now bound by your owu allegiance to the Constitution ol your country, to close up yo ir ranks, and act unitedly, as the only means of saving it. [Cheers.] Hence it is that, notwithstand ing the necessity and unavoidable diversi ty ol sentiment with regard to unimpor tant and irrelevant issues, and with regard ) to the individual named for the great of fice of President, iu the end we behold what wo are about to enjoy—the grand consummation of the union of the demo cratic puny first, and then the Union of the States. [Loud cheers ] While there is a democrat m this land whose reason is not obscured by error, and whose heart is I not undaunted by danger, there need be | uo despair of tho Union or of the liber ties of the people. The people have done wisely in calling the democracy to make this great effort for the country. 1 think they have done wisely, because our party, tint great dem ocracy, can say—what no political parly ou earth can say—that before the break iug out of our troubles and the commence ment ol the war it acquired all the terri tory of the Union, carried the country successfully through two foreign wars, and S so administered the government as to leave i the people, at the end i f its lengthened term.i if office, happy, prosperous and oon- I tented. [Cheers.] The States were then 1 all in their proper places within the Union | and under the Constitution, acd that Cnn ! stitutiou four years ago remained as un- I contaminated and unbroken as when it received the signature of the Father of his Country. With such a record for the party iu the past, what could the nation do, than to see for itself that that body has never betrayed us, and that under its wise administration we prospered and were happy. Under it we put down Hartford nullifi j cation and South Carolina nullification, ; without drawing a drop of blood. [Cheers.] I We never drew a drop of blood, and we can say what no government ou earth I I could say before, tha' under our adminis j (ration peace and harmony prevailed, I [hough the country extended over thirty tfour Slates, a space Well nigh as large as the whole ol Europe; occupied by a popu ■; latino ma le up from all parts of tho world, ! speaking nearly all languages and enter taining all manner of icligious sentiments, and spread over a laud with a diversity of climate and hiving u variety of local in- 1 terests. Wc maintained happiness and prosper!-; ty as long as the Democratic party had) control of the government. [ Loud cheers.] j Wc administered the government without \ having drawn a drop ul blood for a politi-1 eal offense. [Renewed chc r ] Our 1 I'resid- ui put dow n two such local difficul REL AIR, Ml). FRIDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 16, 1564. lies ns that which existed in the South in 1859, without even drawing a sword.— How many men, I would like to ask, were murdered, and bow long did the civil war last, in putting down the Hertford Conr vchlioiS? [Applause.] Mr. Madison was then in power. Where are the thousands and hundreds of thousands who by liis order lost their lives in putting that in surrection down ? Why, sir, he never in jured oven a pumpkin. [Laughter and cheers.] How was it in South Carolina, that State which threatened to secede from the Union in 1863? Andrew Jackson was then in power as President, Dt 1 he murder hundreds of thousands of citizens in order to get rid of that local difficulty ? There was not a word of it; but ou the con trary ho appealed in a great proclamation to the reason and sense of the people to maintain the Union and the country Ho did what every Democrat had done # before him, and will do afterwards —he assumed the proposition that mankind Was capable of self-government, and that ; reason was sufficient to maintain it with-! out powder aud steel. [Loud and enthu siastic cheering ] The illustrious aud eminent gentleman who presides over the deliberations of this body threw out some remarks the other day, in his inaugural address, which, in my judgment, where eminently proper to be considered and acted upon by every Democrat. Ope of the difficulties which you will have will be in getting all the votes you want, and the way you can get them is by adopting the idea of our illus trious President in this Convention; and that is, to proclaim that we are not seek ing power to massacre our enemies. Not at all. The men of the South were nev er as well protected as we used to protect them, and they never will bo protected as well as we will protect them if they will come back States as well as individuals will be regarded, for our administration, if elected by the Democratic party, will thereby be placed under the wholesome restraint and direction of Democratic in stincts. [Applause.] That administra tion, instead of becoming the enemy and persecutor of any part of our people, will act like that celebrated woman in modern history, the first Catharine of Russia, a peasant girl born, by a marriage with Peter the Great and upon the death of her husband, became the sole sovereign ot the Russian Empire. The first act of her pow er was to order that all the gallows and gibbets of the country should be palled down, and that all the instruments of human torture should be broken to pieces. [Renewed cheering.] That is the spirit in which we commence this contest. We will have no Rasliles put up, but we will have the present Rastiles opened aud cleaned out, [Tremendous cheering.]— Our president will be the friend and guar dian aud protector, in obedience to and within the limits of the constitution, of ev ety State, and of every man, womau and child within the sweep of our flag. [Ap plause.] lu this spirit wo will go into this contest. In this spirit we will pre sent ourselves with a fascination so great that the timid Republicans, who are now afraid that wo will be down upon them for more blood and more taxes, will come to our camp and sit in protection under the broad aegis of the Constitution and tlio law, as administered by the faithful interpre teis of that Constitution, the Democratic nominees. As matters stand we have been in somewhat of a predicament for the last three or four years. The Democratic party during that time has been without any organized representation. With the exception of the State of New York and the smaller State of New Jersey, there was not an organic thing on this continent | that was not against us. The Federal! government, including the army, and navy, i was in the hands of Mr. Lincoln. State ! governments, with the two exceptions men lioned, were all against us ; and yet, with all this organic power opposed to us, what do wo behold ? Why, wo liehold a rising power from among the body of the people, —a spontaneous current made up of the contributions of individual wills, and indi vidual fei lings ; and that power is so groat as to make Mr. Lincoln and his people in Washington tremble in their boots.— [Cheers.] We have not a musket; wo don’t want any—we don't need any. We have the ballot-box, we have tickets, we have human reason, and all wo ask of Mr, Lincoln is that he will keep the mad to the ballot-box unobstructed by fraud or f >rce; that he will make that road open to the people ; give us a clean ticket and a fair count out. [Laughter aud applause.] That is all wo want. We do not care how many revolvers he has so that he will just keep them away from tITe people.— We want him to do that. Mark you 1— Wo don’t wan't him to interfere, and I don’t think he will try it after this demon stration. Now, my friends, I know how anxious you all are to get through with the glorious doings of this day. lam not going to say that I will support the ticket. ’ Great G"d ! I never did anything else.— [Cheers.] I will not only support it but 1 will do so with all my heart, with all my might, and with all cheerfulness I once voted for a man ou the Democratic ticket for Congress, and refused to speak to him as 1 returned from the pulls, because he was on the ticket; and, my friends, take it for granted, and always have taken it for granted, that, whatever else hap pens iu the world, God and the people can’t be wroig. [Applause] I came here without any personal feelings in this ' business. 1 have no desire, but that the! desires of others shall be gratified. I think now that any fears which some of our friends may have entertained iu re gard to this eminent man already nomina ted are without any foundation. ‘ I will tell you why. Wo have had Presidents of the United States before this who com manded the whole army and navy, and were victorious G- nerals. Did they do us any barm ? Did Andrew Jackson en slave liis country ? [Loud and enthusias tic cheering.] Did he employ armies to silence the clamors of a few factiuuists in South Carolina ? Not at all. How many men did he send to the Rastile ! Nut one. lie was a military man, with military in stincts as strong as General McClellan, and with this difference; that Jackson came iu upon his popularity, and McClel lan comes iu as a man believed by the Democratic party to be fittest for this par ticular emergency. McClellan has been suggested by the perilous condition of the country for rea j sons, all of which have been given to the ; people; but it makes no difference whether they have been given to the people or not; • | there is a secret instinct in the breast of j j every Democrat which at night, when he j is alone and passes his eye over the dark-1 ened aspect, of this country, will lead ’ him to feel aud see a reason to have j sumo person of McClellan’s stripe near at i hand. [Applause.] Do you understand i it? The army, this great citizen army, ! does not belong to any one man iu this country. It belongs to the people ; it is under the patronage and protection of the people, and the army will know what we want very well. They know that we don’t intend to say to them, “Go ou, you brutes, into the field ; no matter how many thou sands of you are slaughtered to-day, I will draw a drug uet through the country, and haul up as many more to be slaughtered to-morrow.” [Loud cheers.] Nothing of (hat kind. We don’t want a cold-blood joker at Washington who, while the Dis trict of Columbia is infested with hospit als, and the atmosphere burdened by the groans and sighs ot our mangled country men, when he can spare a minute from Joe Miller’s Jest R >ok, looks out upou the acres of hospitals aud inquires, “What houses are those?’’ We want a man who can entertain a proper apprecia tion of their sufferings—a man who knows what a soldier means when he points to a missing arm and says : “This arm was lost at such a battle;’’ or raising a mutilated baud, pays ; “This hand was fractured at such a battle—this limb was broken at such a buttle, where I fought at your order in defense of the government of my country, as you told me.” When a soldier comes to Geo. R. McClellan he will not be answered in a ribald joke. The soldiers all understand this thing. They know what the Democratic party means ; that so long as the army exists under Democratic rule, the brave children of the country who have enrolled them selves under its banners will be regarded and cared for, their pensions paid, their families provided for, because there will be some humanity as well as blood in this business. There will be no call upon half a million of young men to go and be out to pieces under any pretence, hashed worse than animals, worse than the Roman gladiators, and then come baok to be put off with a jest. [Cheers ] They will all know, every one of them, that General McClellan is no joker, and will know, every one of them, when they are told to tight, that it will be for something that is constitutional and legitimate, and when they are told the fighting is ended, they will be willing to say, “Well, General, Mr. President, I expect you are about right.” Willingly and cheerfully they I will acquiesce in the decision of the na- I don, as exhibited in the person of the | President. The army will throw up 1 their caps in spite of subordinates, be cause the election of Gen. McClellan will reconnect them with a gentleman. Hith erto orders have been issued and plans devised to cut off the army from the peo ple, and to separate them aud array them against each other, and that has been the great danger of the last four years. This vote will reconnect the army with the pco pie, and give the civil the paramount au thority over the military of the country. [Loud cheers ] The Ebb and Fr,ow of Reauty.— Heauty makes its own fashions when it comes; and we must remember that it is not once a heauty always a beauty Peo ple are continually being disappointed in children in this respect; cherubs grow up into ogres—mouths widen most porten tously about fourteen years old ; dimples about that time often vanish, and noses then can lengthen nr crook, or even snub; i and it is fortunately the same the other way, too—that face ugly in the cradle may quite change by twenty. Some peo ple s beauty eonn-s very late, indeed, and those who have been repugnant in their ! youth and maturity, may look splendid iu ! old age. Gray hairs and white beards! beenme same folks wonderfully; a few! wrinkles, also, greatly improve certain 1 faces; and one old lady of our acquaint ance we never dreamed was beautiful till we saw her iu spectacles.— Victoria Mnj- j aznie. A married Indy lately consulted her j j lawyer on the following question, namely; “As 1 wedded Mr. Smith for his'wealth, 1 and that wealth is now spent, am I not to ! all intents and purposes, a widow, and at | liberty to marry again ? ’ The trout is said to be a keen- j l sighted fi-h ; the fact is, he wears specs, j Speech of Jus. S. Thayer, of New York, Delivered Before the Chicago Conven tion. After a speech from cx-Senaior Allen, of Ohio, which we lay before our readers, the President of the Convention intro duced Mr. Thayer, of New York, who had been an intimate personal friend of the great deceased statesman, Henry Clay : The President ; Wo have hpard from a distinguished friend of Andrew Jack son; you will now listen to the words of otic who was the fast friend of Henry Clay during his lifetime; and if he had lived till now, God knows he would have been with us. Mr. James B. Thayer, of New Y’ork : It may be considered inappropriate by some fur a member of this Convention to ritje at such an btjur as this to make a speech, but as I have said nothing since I have been here, I beg the Convention will excuse mo for occupying a small portion ; of its time. I know that this is not a ; place forewords, but that it is the grand j fat stage of .human action of our day and 1 generation, and for the future of our coun | try. It will be marked, iu my judgment, j as a great event iu history, that the Dem- I ocialie parly assembled in solemn council ! * u 1861 Three years and a half of civil war, that has destroyed many things aud changed almost everything, leaves to-day the Democratic party indestructible and unchanged. Amid all the rude shocks of the conflict, with some aberration of its own, you pan still mark the grand curve of its orbit, and the promise that it will circle round to the fulfillment of its high est, grandest destiny—the re-construction of the Union, and the re-establishment of the Constitution. (Applause.) Aud this, while all other parties, factious and organi zations, after a long revelry in the guilty glory of this war, self-destructive, are about to expire in the very chaos and ru in they have produced. 1 say, then, that to-day the Democratic party, with its im posing and august presence and aspect, spnds forth its heralds for the campaign of 186-1, with Washington as its sacred Mentor, and McClellan as the living lead er. (Tumultuous applause.) Aud now, let me call the roll of the States, and ask you, as you come from the North aud the Eist, what will you do?— What answer does New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont make from beneath their mountain homos ; aud old Massachusetts, from the sweet swelling mound of Runker Hill; what say you? And Connecticut, from the shadow of your Charter Oak, what is your response? (A voice: “The Constitution and the Union.’’) The Union, the Constitution is your answer! New York, with her empire voice, re sponds to them and tells you hare to-day, that on your platform and with your prin ciples we will reconstruct our Goverument, and again restore to tills land peace, pros perity and happiness to all. (Great ap plause.) And now let me say one word here, and it is this : we want iu this contest brave men. We have a platform; wo have a candidate; and now will ye not come up, ye men wlio hold the confidence of the Democracy of this country, over the North, in the central States, and over the West. We want, 1 say, brave and intrepid men, beeaus- no man knows what is iu the futuie. Yea, do you not see, that while this convention has been in session they arc seeking to strip your Western States of their sovereign robes of power, aud twist it into a bow-string to cast you into this H sphorus of wild aud mad rage and enthusiasm. (Voices — “They cannot do if.’’) Ido not believe they can do it, but let the men stand forth —men, who will accept the present and all the future issues of this contest in all j the grandeur, if need be, of accepted) death. (Applause.) Men like Mirabeau iu the French revolution, who, when the populace cried, “Grand treason of Count Mirabeau,” and their voice rose to the cry when he marched to the tribune, and his friends whispered of danger, said, “I know it, aud I come from it with victory, or to be torn iu fragments,” (Applause.)— He came, as all men will come when they rise to that sublime altitude in public af fairs where they strike the stars, and point with their sovereign fiugers the path in which the people will follow them. That is what we want, and you will have Union, and you will Lave peace with Union ; that is the voice of New York. Who, iu reviewing the last three years and a half, has not often despaired of the Union aud of the Constitution aud of peatie ? How often have wo thought that the storm of revolution would nut abate; that no subsiding wave would reveal the mountain tup, and that the dove of peace would fold at last her tired, baffled wing, and sink to a told, wild, ocean grave.— Rut litre, under auspices of the Demo cratic parly, announcing that they arc for ! j the Union, tiiey give you the promise of j peace, under those auspices. When the I windows are opened toe while winged ( messenger will come back, with the leaf plucked, the olive leaf, iu her mouth ! (Applause.) Wait a little longer, aud when she goes forth ag.in she will not come back to us any more, for there will be no more blood, no more tears, for the j face of the land will be dry. (Applause.) Rut how will the patriotic hearts of the ! people of this country thank you that you 1 have given them the promise of a restored ! Union, of a fe-established Constitution.— ! How will they thank you—the first body j of men that have assembled within the , last four years to utter any political doc ; trines or principles —lint, in your culm VOL. VIIL—NO. 38. , deliberations, in your solemn judgment, - you have closed your eyes for one moment to the sound of martial music, and to Iho , rustling of banners, and the tramp of arm* ed men ; that you have turned away from ' ensanguined fields, where blood runs and men are dying, to breathe an atmosphere 1 redolent of melodies only, and the barrao . ny and beauty of nature, where you can listen fur one moment to the song* of birds , an<l the music of water-falls. They will thunk God that, if wo cannot have an abid ’ ing and lusting peace, we know that wo ‘“hall bare, at least, a moment in which to cool this quick round of tho blood and calm that wild and feverish 1 brow of a na tion’s delirium, ere the golden bowl is broken and the silver cord is loosed for ever and for ever. Aye, anl if the deni , ocratio party to day was in power, and it could send forth its note to the people of this land, what a chorus of seven-fold hal lelujahs at the prospect that tho Union with the constitution restored ami peace following, would be brought home to them! How many hearts would thank you if there could be one sun, that for one au tumnal month would ripen the fruits of the season without lighting the way of contending armies to battle, to murder and to sudden death if we could gaze on one moon as it fulls and wanes, whoso pale, cold beams did not fall on ten thou sand, twice ten tlumeand, new-made graves of the best and bravest men that knew a mother’s prayers, n wife’s love, a sister’s smile, and an old man’s blessing. (Ap plause.) This, this, is the august task—the pres ervation of our Union ; tho ro-establish of our Constitution, and peace to this dis tracted land—this is the august task of rho democratic party. It stands then to-day, proud in its history, confident in tho past, hopeful fur the future. Yea, and from this point it moves forward to its great work. Come up then from the West, from the North, from the East, and the Central States. To-day the shouts that go forth from this convention of “McClellan, McClellan, for tho loader,” (cheers) shall blanch with a deadlier hue the pale-blooded oheek. of abolitionism, than did the cry of “the Champion !” “the Champion !” in the lists of Templestowe the cheeks of those who saw Wilfred of Ivanboe appear to tho rescue of the fair Rebecca. They think that the chair is drawn to tho funeral pile, that the shad ows have changed on the dial; but we tell them to-day in reverence, none - can do that but the power that turned back the shadow upon the dial of Ahaz of old. Be it ours, then, in the fullness of trust in the God of our fathers, with every con fidence iu the leader whom we have cho sen—that man whom I have never soon, whose form and features I do not know ; only this I do know, that while hi is ad mitted to be tho first soldier of the coun try, so far as his character is flbncorned, in all history I find no example that sur passes that magnanimity of character, which touches more souls, and has tnoro of magnetic power than anything else.— Nothing can surpass that noble magnan imity of character, tried by both extremes of fortune, approval and persecution, evin ced by Geo B. McClellan. (Applau.-e ) Stand then, gentlemen, by the Democratic platform iu all its length and breadth, ac cept your leader as the choice of die peo ple, indicated and approve 1 by yourselves; let that name go forth—“McClellan, Mo- Ciellan, for a leader,” —across your west ern prairies, beyond the mountains, down the slope, until it mingles with the mur mur of tho tranquil oeean, let it pass to the East, and go up to those beyond your great lakes, and they will re echo ic —“McClellan, McClellan, for our leader;” and take care, ye men of the West, that ] when we throng that crowded avenue on the eventful day iu November next, that the banner of New York—“Excelsior”—• is not raised higher than any that shall rue beyond the great lakes. i A Nice Boarder.—“ How do you like the character of St. Paul ?” asked a per son of his landlady oue day, during a con versation about tho old saints and the apostles. “Ah, he was a good, clever old soul, I know,” replied tho landlady; “for bo once said, you know, that we must cat what is set before us, ami ask no questions for conscience sake. I always thought I should like him for a boarder.’’ -- • An Awful Pun.—Waifer was engaged i in a discussion as to tbe probabilities of a i future existence for mankind. “The doubts and anxieties on the subject are agonizing,” said he. Would that I were of tionkind, and then I should have all my doubts resolved in this life.” “Why a hen!'” asked Puruphiuo. “Because they," said Waifer with a s lemn air, “they have their neck# twirled in this !” •—.> SST - That was a sad mistake of the pa triotic and sentimental pilgrim to Mount Vernon, who, mistaking the ioe-hou.se for . the sacred tomb, poured out her whole stuck of tears there, and was completely dry when some oue corrected her mistake, and led her to the sepulonre. Ka>’" “Children,” said a considerate matron to her assembled progeny, “chil dren, you may have every hiug you want, j but you must not want anything you can’t i have.” ; fifeiT A man had a sign up —“Cheojt ; I'idics’ shoos for sale hero.” Ho found i that not a woman entered his shop. No | wonder ; the ladies don’t like to bo called i ! cheap, they want to bo called dear.