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The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, April 21, 1865, Image 1

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THE iEGIS &■ INTELLIGENCER
11.50 PER ANNUM.
TO FARMERS, !
BLAcKSiIUThS & OTHIR I
undersigned, successors to Jackson!
-I &. Allen, offer to Farmers and others g
BONE DUST I
And other Fertilizers, at their Warehouse,!
month of Deer ( reek, which they will,
sell as low as the same ca" he hail in the]
Stale. They also buy GRAIN at full rates!
in Cash.
A supply of
COAL, '
Both Stove Coal and Coal for Blacksmiths,?
will be kept on hand.
Vo Blacksmiths and others they offer 8
IliON, STEEL. NAILS,!
Agricultural Implements, &c. f
At life same place lately occupied by Jack-5
son & Allen.
WARFIELD & ALLEN,
mb 10 Darlington, Md. E
' FRESH AND SEASONABLE
GiMiiiiiJ
DRV GOODS. &C.
THE undersigned having removed hi*J
Store from Perrymansville to Aber-a
deen, takes tliis method of informing hisi
friends and the public that he is prepared!
to furnish Goods of every description, asS
low as they can be had in the country. —I
His stock is l.irge and selected with great!
care, and comprises
DRY GOODS. GHOGSHias!
HARD VAHE,
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS, CAPS, I
Bacon, Mackerel, Salt,
In short, anything that can be found in an|
extensive and well regulated country!
store, which will be sold at moderate!
prices for Cash.
P 103USX!
Of all kinds taken in exchange for Goods,®
at the highest market price.
G. F. WALKER,
jalll3-y Aberdeen, Harford Co., Md. K
Franklinville Store-
Baltimore County.
KELP constantly on hand a large and
well assorted stock ol all kinds of
Goods adapted to th’e wants of the public,
such us
Dry Goods, Croceries,
ARSWARE,
sjsaaMb
JV OTXONS,
CHINA AND GLASS WARE,
In fact anv and every variety of articles!
necessary to a well assorted stock, all oil
which will he sold at very lowest Cash!
prices. The Factory being in operation,!
it affords a line market for
for which the highest prices will be paid.!
The public are invited to call. fe2fi!
jcv
THE undersigned have just received u|
* large and well selected stock of Goods!
suitable for the season. They are con-|
statttly making up the neatest work, and!
the newest and most fashionable style oft
Bonnets for the SPRING ami SUM-1
■jSkj MER, to which they invite the atten-l
lion of the citizens of the town and*
the surrounding country. They also de-|
sire an occasional call from their Baltimore?
friends, when they want something of ex-|
tra style and finish, as they are aware that*
the undersigned can and will take pleasure!
In putting tip work of that description. I
In addition to all styles of Bonnets,!
they keep constantly on hand a variety of|
LADIES’ AND GENTLEMEN’S I
Mm wars.
Such as Ribbons, Lades, Gloves, Hosiery.*
Suspenders, and many other articles in 2
the Notion line.
Thankful for the liberal patronage here
tofore given the firm, they expect by
attention to business to merit its
ance.
M. J WRIGHT St MITCHELL, I
Washington street, two doors north
the Railroad, and next door to Nixon’s!
Hotel, II avke-de-Guace. sep2s I
"USES!
£I3X2 !
Z.I % E!
rpilE subscribers, successors to Cook &.
-I- Hides, lake this method of
the publ c that they are prepared to fur-t
nish them with a sup rior quali'y of UN- i
SLACKED LIME, delivered at any nfj
the accessible landings on the
of the Chesapeake Bay, tlttiing the naviga-j
hie season, and respectfully solicit theirj)
patronage.
Ordeis should he given thirty days in .
advance, and addressed to the firm at?
Havre-de-Giiacr, VI d.
der9-ly JAMES COOK & CO. g
WANTED.— A FA R M or tract of’
LAND, tor which Cash will l.erj
paid. Address, |
L KEMBLE,
Box 580, P. O . riulliu ore, Md. &
der23-lv
"LET US CLING TO THE CONSTITUTION AS THE MARINER CLINGS TO THE LAST PLANK WHEN THE NIGHT AND TEMPEST CLOSE AROUND HIM."
! NOTICE.
IDHE County Commissioners for Har
-L ford county will meet at their office 1
in Bel Air, on MONDAY and TUES
DAY. April 3d and 4th, and every
Monday and Tuesday,
During the month of
AFUIL.,
For the purpose of making
TRANSFERS & ABATEMENTS,
Sand such business as may come before
them.
ft AH persons desiring transfers or abale-
ImPius will attend, as no attention; will be
■paid the alienation books with regard to
■deeds, and no abatements will be allowed
gaiter May.
By order,
§ JOHN T. SPICER,
Clerk.
■ Persons making application for transfers
Qof property, will bt required to comply
■with the following sections of Article 81
■of the Code of Public General Laws :
Section 10. Whenever any person
■shall make application for an allowance
Hor deduction on account of the sale, traits
■fer, alienation, loss or removal of any prop-1
■erty, or the collection or payment of any!
Mmihlic or private security for money, the!
■County Commissioners or Appeal Taxi
■Court shall interrogate him on oath in!
■reference thereto, anil the disposal of the!
■same, and especially inquire of him to!
■whom the same has been sold or transfer-!
Bred, and the amount of the purchase mon-9
Bey, or the money collected, and how the!
flsame has been invested.
B Section 19. They shall also interro
gate said person on oath in reference to
■any acquisitions or investments made by
ghim, and not already assessed, and the
■amount of all such acquisitions anil in-
Bveslinents shall be added to his assessable
and if he refuses to answer, no
■allowance or deduction shall be made on
■his assessment. mh24
S E Li EOT
[Boarding and Day School
For Young Ladies.
I Miss BETTIE B M. HAMILTON, Principal.
afl'llE location of this School, in the healthy
B A ami pleasant village of Bel Air, Harford
Jeounty, Md., combines advantages of quiet and
retirement, in a highly moral community, with
daily conveyances to the adjacent cities and vil
lages.
The scholastic year is divided into sessions of
five months each. The first te m commences
first of February, the second Ist September. j
Every arrangement has been made to give this
School all the advantages of a first-class Insti-;
tute.
Thorough instruction will be given in the va
rious branches of useful knowledge, and scrupu
lous regard will be paid to improvement of the
morals and deportment of pupils.
Wax-work, both Fruit and Flowers, Baskets
Band Vases, including a thorough knowledge of,
Sthe art, taught. Also, Bead Work, Embroidery
Band Fancy Work, in all its varieties.
REFERENCES:
Cjßev. J. H. D. Wingfield, Win. Galloway, Esq., I
I “ Wm. A. White, Robert N, Hanna, “
I “T.S. C. Smith, Wm. H Dallam, “
■H. 1). Farnandis, Esq., B. H. Hanson, “
Bllenry W. Archer, “ Isaac Amos, “
■Stevenson Archer, “
U mhlV
I 100 TOMS
(OF Bowne
IN STORE.
I To Bom; Dust Manufacturers? !
I will supply BONES to persons in the]
■country who manufacture BONE DUST,)
Mat IJ cents per lb., by wagon loud
JOSHUA HORNER,
Corner Chew and Stilling streets, |
Baltimore.®
M I*
d It will be to the interest of those man-1
Bnfactnring Bone Dust to purchase thei
■Crude Bone from me, as I can supply!
Sthem at the same rates as those from]
■whom they purchase at present, and byj
■purchasing from me it will stop that com-l
■petition which has raised the bones be-|
Byond their intrinsic value, making the]
■ farmer pay too much for the Ground Ar-jj
■tide. Call and see me. mhJ7-lm
SAT THE CORNER OF MAIN STREET AND*
PORT DEPOSIT AVENUE,
BEL AIR, MD.
Dr. R. Sappington’s
|SYRUP Of ILAmm*
Dr. K. Sappington’s
|CELEBRATED LIVER PILLS;
I And a general assortment of beliadle I
jDRUGS,
OILS.
MEDICINES,
IjAml articles in that line, put up or selected]
||with care by the Duct or, expressly for our!
gsales. \
I ap!4 A H. GREENFIELD.
ißark & Sumac Wanted
&THE snhscriher will buy BLACK OAK!
Ef F BARK and SUMAC, at the Mill near!
Bridge.
3 GIDEON G. SMITH,
jtq mh24-5t Agent. B
A. PRESTON GILBERT,
■aAtt’joDasfljfca a*A- um
liEL Ain, Ml.
19 Office with H. D. Farnandis, Esq.
[•JOB BRI LT T IN" Oj
fcAHisit*>] at thin flPH'e, for Cash. |
BEL AIR, MU. FRIDAY MORNING,' APRIL 21, 1865.
m /E-SIS AND INTELLIQENG-R
IS PUBLISHED
EVERY FRIDAY MORNING,
BY
BATEMAN & BAKER,
AT
One Dollar and Fifty Cents Per Annum,
IN ADVANCE, OTHERWISE
TWO DOLLARS WILL BE CHARGED.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
One square, (eight lines or less,) three inser
tions, SI.OO. Each subsequent insertion 25 cts.’’
One square three months, $3.00; Six months
$5.00; Twelve months, SB.OO.
Business cards of six lines or less, $5 a year.
No subscription taken for less than a year.
For the JEgit and Intelligencer. I
The Warrior at His Daughter's Grave.
“Earth to earth, and dust to dust I '
Saviour, in Thy Word-we trust;
Sow we now the precious grain,
Thou shall raise it up again ;
Plant we the terrestrial root
That shall bear celesti tl fruit;
Lay a bud within the tomb,
That a flower in Heaven may bloom.
Severed are no tender ties,
Though in earth's embrace she lies;
For the lengthening chain of love
Stretches to her home above.
Mother I in ihy hitter grief
Let this thought bring sweet relief;
Mother ol an angel now,
God himself hath crown'd thy brow
With the thorns thy Saviour wore;
Blessed art thou evermore ;
Unto Him thou didst resign
A part of the life was thine.
“Earth to earth, and dust to dust’ 1 —
Sad the trial, sweet the trust;
Father I thou who seest Death
Gathering grain at every breath,
As His sickle sharp he wields
O'er our bloody battle-fields.
Murmur not. that now He weaves . y
This sweet flower into His sheaves.
Taken iu her early prime—
Gathered in the summer time—
Autumn’s blast she shail not know,
Never shrink from Winter's snow.
L
Sharp the pang that thou must feel,
Sharper thin the foeraan's steel ;
For thy fairest flower is hid
Underneath the coffin lid.
On her grave thou dropp’gt no tear;
Warrior stern must thou appear,
Crushing back the hitler grief,
Which in vain demands relief.
Louder sMII thy country cries,
At thy feet she bleeding lies ;
And before the-Patriot now,
Husband, father—both must bow.
But unnumbered are thy friends,
And from many a home ascends
Earnest, heart-felt prayer for thee,
“As thy days, thy strength may be I”
'
IPisctUiuicmis. j
Love in a Stage Coach.
BY A BACHELOR.
How it poured ! Rattle, rattle against
the casement; splash, splash on the ground
underneath, all night; and now, when I
awoke hero, it was raining away harder
than ever, us if a second deluge were at;
band. Confound the breakfast bell ! 1
do wish there was no such thing as a break-j
fast on a rainy morning; for then one!
might lie abed all day, or until the storm
cleared off Philosophers tell us that!
rain is necessary for the economy of na
ture ; it may be true, though I never
troubled myself much about such things ;
I but if so, men ought to be made like dor
mice—to sleep iu unconsciousness until the
rain sees tit to cease. Nature never inteu-;
ded us to be out in a shower, or we would
a have been born with patent oil-cloth or In
'S dia rubber skins.
' Down it poured! What on earth;
I was 1 to do? The day before had been
5 the brightest one of the bright month of
I May; and as I had a passion for walking
in the country —more fool for it!—l had
trudged away off here, eight miles or more
from town, to see a country wedding, “af
ter the order used among Friends.’’ I
must say that the thing was very hand
somely done, and that I was much edified.
So much so, that one of these days I shall
tell bow the parties deported themselves
how many new hats there were in the wed
ding company, who drove the finest horses,
and all otbey matters of gossip, so iu-
U ten sting to young misses and old baohe
| lors like myself. The day passed off, with
< a bright blue sky, until towards dusk,
I when a thunder shower came up that last
hd till bed-time ; but I retired fully re
solved that the morning would see a clear
sky over my head ; but the morning had
come, and here it was, pouring down in
one dark, splashy, continuous stream, for
all the world like an old maid’s objurga
tious when her tongue gets wagging
Down I hurried to the breakfast table.!
I had just buttered my bread, and was!
swallowing the first mouthful of coffee,!
when the horn of the coach to town wa,<|
heard, and looking out of the window, ll
saw the vehicle with its four smoking!
horses, dashing down the turnpike. It|
was my ouly chance to reach the city that!
day. I bolted my bread, gulped down myg
coffee till my throat was Scalded, jammed!
my hat on my head, and made a divea
through the door. The driver did not seeg
me; but tracked his whip wih a flourish!
and went on. I shouted;-still the oil!
villain did not notice me, but with anotb-i
or flourish of bis whip, set his four-in I
baud on u Li inker trot, and rattled down!
the hill.
1 1 Desperate with the fear of beino left, 11
>Jpitched after him, scattering the mud
around at every step, and shouted at the top
of my luugs ; but I might have shouted
on till doomsday, had not a passenger seen
me, and stopped the old sinner. Out, of
breath, wet to the skiii, covered with mud
from head to foot, and not in the best hu-j
mor from the loss of my breakfast, I mono
ted into the coach; hut the instant I'
placed my foot inside the vehicle, all my!
sulkiness vanished, for one of the loveli
est angels that ever blessed a rickety old
coach, or warmed the soul of a sour, break-|
fastless bachelor, with her presence, sat;
upon the back seat
Did you ever fair in love ? Of cour-e ,
And the lady was the loveliest of her sex?
To bo sure. Then the stuge-eoach beau
ty was twice as handsome as your sweet -I
■heart; and if, after this, you don’t think
■my fellow-passenger a cherub, then 1 give
■up all hope of making you appreciate her.
HSueh eyes, such teeth, and such lips — ;
■gad ! it almost makes me crazy to think!
■of them.
•jgl I put myself down for the luckiest dogJ
■in the world She was dressed in a plain
■straw cottage bonnet, with a green veil—!
ieT'just such a costume,” said I, “as a real;
glady wears when travelling”—and theoj
Ssucb a sweet, but half-roguish smile, ns i
■tumbled into the coach in the plight l j
■have described, that I knew her at oncel
■to be a paragon in the way of education.!
I taste, fortune, and ail that; and that I re-i
I solved—what knowing one would not ?|
| —to make the agreeable off hand, fori
| there is nothing like meeting an heiress!
I in a stage-coach, where she thinks she is!
unknown, and dreams that every atten-1
j tion paid to her springs from true love—l
| ahem !—on your part.
5 I was in clover. What cared I foil
Brain ? Splash, splash, splash, aye 1 rain”
■away there, like blazes—who cares ? One ■
get a tele < tete with a pretty girla
Slavery day in the week—so I determined!
■to make the best of it.
■ And, faith, with a few sly compliments.' 5 ,
■and my extraordinary good looks, I so in’?
■got as cozy with my unknown beauty, and
■she with me, as if we had been acquainted ?
is since the days of Noah. We talked of tin
||! wedding, fir she too had been there—of*
i the scenery—if ifie rain—and of whatev ?
|er came upper nosf; and there was such a ■
I charming frankness in II she said, that I
P really thought her the most winning littl■
fi creature I had ever seen ; an 1 I verily be :
g lieve if the floor had been softer, and I t
had known the accurate number of house ••
| d which I would be tenaut, in courtesy, i "
| should have gone d iwn on my knees to
her at once. I bite showing one’s learn
mg off in public, so I avoided anything.
like literature, though I saw by the intel , 5
ligeni eyes of the charmer, that she had n |
s ml alive to all the finer sensibility of na-J
Imre.
At length we got on the subject ofjl
house-keeping. Now, if there is anything!
1 hate, it is a woman that uau’t kee ■!
house, and I trembled at every word, les; jj
my charmer should confess her ignorance!
of matters. Sliade of Apioius ! howj
my heart leaped when she told me thaij
hardly a day passed in which she did notl
make bread, or pies, or sponge cake, orl
some other of those shimsbaws that de-l
light the heart of man, and in expatiating!
on such delicacies she rose to a pitch of elo-I
q tenoe, that I never hoard surpassed. It]
could not resist my feelings, but snatched j
tier hand to my lips and kissed it.
, Yes ! I felt that she was destined to be!
mine, for if there is anything a wife ought*
to know it is this. I come of a race ofg
caterers My grandfather lunched oaS
half a dozen rabbits, and died at last of al
surfeit produued by eating two roast pigs. I
My father can break his fast on a brace oil
capons, or devour a pair of turkeys with-i
out having o pick his teeth; and a broth 1
Ber of mine can tuck in a hundred oysters*
and dishes of chicken salad, which does!
honor to the family. My own 'exploits!
in this line my modesty forbids me to!
mention.
No wonder I loved this rosy little beau]
ty, who could get up such a choice fry,]
and hake snob delicious cakes. Ah !|
what a life of domestic happiness rose be-|
fore my vision, when I pictured myself re-1
turning homo from court at night, to meet!
a beefsteak ready broiled, or a bowl of the!
richest turtle soup, served up by the fair!
hand of the angel at.my side. I resolved,!
if there was any virtue in a pair of whis-i
kers, an eloquent tongue, or in my new!
blue coat, to win this seraph of piuhu-l
keis
There is no place like a stage coach for!
making love. It comes natural. Yoni
ho it, egad, in an easy, don’t care for an/-*
thing style, that you can’t for the life on!
you assume in any other place. Whu' 4
hetwixt sitting on the same seat to talk!
more conveniently, and putting your arms
around her waist to keep her from jolting!
ff, you soon get to bo wonderful o"Zy,f
■mid. ten to one, if you don’t catch yourself':;
■squeezing her hand, or varying the eiitor-g
■laioment in some other way, before your
■ .re aware of it.
■ For my part, as I have said, I was rea-B
■dy to surrender at discretion, and I alroa-B
Sly fancied myself lightening the dear!
■creature beside me of the troublesome du S
Bty of collecting the rents of her various®
■lino houses. It was charming to think oil
■the progress, I had made in ber atfee-S
Htious. What a delicately rosy cheek it'|
■ ..as that I just then felily kissed —she^ !
■blushing the deeper at my warmth. And|
■then ber saucy, pouting lips; and then!
■her ti ure, just the size for a man who ha-|
■ ted your thin, weasel-shaped young misses!
las he hated epidemics. Ah, what a wife!
| she would make! How I thanked my
a stars that I had hitherto set my face like
I a flint againt every temptation to marry—
-8 for now my firmness was rewarded by
I this beauty and heiress dropping into my
fl mouth. And then 1 preached to rayselt
fj a mental homily on the short-sightedness
of man, as 1 ventured to steal another
kiss from tho conscious aud blushing lit
tle angel at my side. ■ I was about to pop
the question itself, when tho coach stop
ped, aud the driver descended and opened
the door. My charmer rose. I was ta
ken aback.
“Do you get out here ?” said I, in sur
prise.
“Yes !” said she, "I see Mr. Powell is
waiting for me.’’
“Mr. Powell,’’ said I, for that was the
name of u friend of .mine who lived up this
very lane, not half a mile from tho turn
pike ; do you then live with him ? Per
haps you’re a relative ? Strange,” I
muttered to myself, “I never beard him
speak of this charming creature.”
Before I oounld answer, Powell ap
proached, and while he bailed me, my fel
low passenger sprang to the ground as if
by magic, and the uoxt minute was in my
friend’s vehicle.
“For heaven’s sake," said I, half mad
i that the hoar y gripe of Powell prevented
3 me from hastening to his ward’s asais
-3 tanoe, “who is that angel? Is she a rela-
S live, a ward, or what ? I’m dying for
■ love of her !”
1 Powell burst into a laugh, and laughed
■3 on, till tears same in his eyes. Confound!
H the fellow, what did be mean? I began!
I to look angry.
“Come, my dear boy,” he said, “Jon’ti
I get into a passion, but consider now d i|
r! it is that you, of all men, should lab in |
9 love with my cook.”
‘1 I never make acquaintance to a stages
y roach now, until I have exchanged curds.l
*1 What an EJuo> Might, Have Been. I
ft g
“v; Holland, the editor ot the Springfield!
V (Mass ) Republican, has been up tn Ver-i
niout, to “Where ne came from,” and he!
j thus sketches what he should have been!
d ho had uot left home and become an!
■v -ditort
V Mu correspondent would have grown!
‘ s ulwart and strong, with horny hands and!
1 a thee as black as the ace of spades. H-*l
;; would have taught school winters, worked!
: on his farm summers, and gone out hay !
r-j mg fifteen days iu July, and taken fori
ft pay the iron works and running gear of al
•r wagon.
At iwn-and-twonty, or thereabouts, hr®
: would have begun to pay attention to a girll
with a father worth $2,000, an 1 a spit !
curl on her forehead—a girl who always
v went to singing-school, and always “set
£ in the seats,” and sung without opening
hor mouth —a pretty girl, any way. Well,
|jj after seeing her home from singing-school
ijjj for two or three years, taking her to a
B Fourth of July, and getting about SIOO
8 together, he would have married and . set '
| tied down. Years would pass away, and
the girl with the spit-curl would have
eleven children —just as sure as you live
—seven boys and four girls.
Wo should have had a bard time in
bringing them up, but they would soon
be able to do the milking, and help their
mother wash-days, aud I, getting indepen
dent at last, and feeling a little stiff in
the joints, would be elected a member of
the legislature, having been an assessor
and a school oommittee-man for years.—
In the evening of my days, with my pipe
Q in my mouth, tbirteeu barrels of eider iu
| my cellar, and a newspaper in my hand,
[ should sit and look at the markets
'through a pair of gold-mounted specta
cles, and wonder why such a strange, silly
piece as this should be published.
The First Verse in the Bible.
The simple sentence denies Atheism—
for it assumes the being of God. It de
nies Polytheism, and, among its various
3 forms, the doctrine of two eternal princi
ples,* the one good and the other evil; for
it confesses tho one eternal Creator. It
denies Materialism, for it asserts the crea
tion of matter. It denies Pantheism, for
it assumes the existence of God before all
things, ami apart from them. It de
nies Fatalism, for it involves the freedom
of Eternal Being. It assumes the exis
tence of God, for it is Ho who, in the be
ginning, creates. It assumes His eterni
ty, for He is before all things; and as
nothing eotnes from nothing, He himself
must have always been. It implies His
omnipotence, for He creates the universe
of things. It implies His absolute free-
Bdmu, far He begins a new course of action
It implies His infinite wisdom, for a Jcos
-1 mus, and order of matter and mind, can
S only come from a being of absolute iutel-
SJ ligeuce. It implies His essential good
-9 m sa, for the sole, eternal, almighty, all-
M - .llicieut Being, has no reason, no motive
p md no capacity fur evil; it presumes Him
to bo beyond all limit of time and plane,
bj is H - is before all time and place. — ProJ.
E Murphy.
| Caution to the Public —There was
I “nuce upon a time’’ an old pilferer Down
S East, on (Atom all thefts, far and near,
I were at onoo charged, when any loss was
8 discovered. The old follow boro the nni-
I versa! “onus” patiently for a time; but
B finding that in some instances he was suf-
B ering for the sins of others, he issued a
R Caution to the Public in the usual form :
8 “I he(eby forbid all persons, from this
B date, to steal on my account and risk. I
! am no longer accountable for their tres-
I passes, as I have more than I can account
I for of my own.”
YOL. IX.—m 16.
Signification of Names.—Mary,
Maria, Marie (French), signifies exalted
—according to some, Mary means lady of
the seas; Martha, interpreted, is bitter*
n<‘s; Isabel, signifies lovely; Julia and
Juliet, soft-haired; Gertrude, nil truth;
Eleanor, all faithful; Ellen, originally
the Greek Heleu, changed by the Latins
into Helene, signifies alluring, though,
according to Greek authors, it means one
who pities. The interpretation of Caro
line is legal; that of Charlotte is a queen;
Clara, bright or clear-eyed; Agnes, chaste;
Amanda, amiable; Laura, a laurel; Ed*
ith, joyous; Oliva, peace; Phoebe, light
of light; Grace, favor; Sarah, or Sally,
a princess ; Sophia, wisdom; Amelia and
Amy, beloved; Matilda, a noble maid;
Margaret, a pearl; Rebecca, plump;
Pauline, a little one; Hannah, Anna, An
nie, Ann and Nancy, all of which are the
same original name, interpreted, mean
gracious or kind ;_Janc signifies dignity;
Ida, the morning star; Lucy, brightness
of aspect; Louisa, or Louise, one who
protects; Emma, tender; Catharine, pure;
Frances, or Fanny, frank or free; Lydia,
severe; Minerva, chaste.
An. “Off-hand’’ Soke.—A sturdy
sergeant of one of the Massachusetts regi
ments being obliged to submit to amputa
tion of bis hand, the surgeon offered to
administer chloroform as usual; but the
veteran refused, saying : “If the cutting
was to bo done on him be wanted to see
it.’’ And laying his arm on the table,
submitted o the operation without a sign
of pain cxc pt a firmer setting of the
teeth. Tho operator, as ho iiinisbed,
looked at Lis victim with admiration, and
■jroiuurked :
to “You ought to have bccu a surgeon,
■my man.’’
|| “1 was the next thing to one afore I
enlisted,” said the hero.
“What was that?’’ asked the doctor.
“A butcher!” responded the sorgearut
with a grim smile, which despite the sur
roundings, communicated itself to the by
-tanders.
A New Name for “Odd Bourbon ’'
—A man about town tells us that the re
lent “elevation” of a distinguished Ten
■ lOHseean has led to a change in alcoholic
■nomenclature in this city. Ho heard a
■conversation between an unxims inquirer
Sifter “Old Bourbon” and a bar-tender,
■which he reports :
9 Anxious Inq’r. —(Approaching bar,)
I ‘Old Bourbon?”
r Bit-Tender. —“Don’t live here—have
Hoot seen him—don't know him.”
I An.v. Inq. —“l want some Old Bour
g| ion whiskey !”
Bar-Tender — “Just out, sir — got some
very fine Andy Johnson !’’
The unlucky customer accepts the sub
stitute, imbibes, and becomes so “inoo
icrent’’ that ho can’t remember the name
f Gideon Welles.— Philadelphia Age.
Sf&~A gentlemen travelling on a Sun
lay was obliged to stop in order to replace
mo of his horse’s shoes. The farrier was
it church ; but a villager suggested that,
if he went on to Jem Harrison’s forge, he
would probably be found at homo. This
proved to bo true, when' the rustic, who
had led the horse to the spot, exclaimed :
“Well, I must say that for Jem—for it
is the only good point about him—bo do
never go.to church !”
I®“ln ne of the processes of steol
pen making, done by females at Birming
nam, a quick worker will out out in one
day of ten working hours 250 gross, or 36,-
000 pens, which involves 72,000 distinct
motions of the ferm, two in every second.
!&• “Mr. Smith,” said the counsel,
•‘you say you onoo officiated in a pqlpit—
lo you mean that you preached?” “No,
sir ; I held the candle for a man who did.”
l ‘Hh, the court understood you different
■ly. They suppose that the discourse
■came from you." “No, sir; I only
■t browed light on it.”
The Odor of a Ball. —Au officer
writes : “In the Wilderness a ball passed
under my nose. Its odor was anything
hut refreshing, fur it made the blood
come.”
' ■■
A Dublin journal observes that a hand
bill anuounomuut of a political meeting in
that city, states, with boundless liberality,
that the ladies, without distinction of sex,
are cordially invited to attend.”
A Conscientious Scruple.—Henry
Ward Beecher asked Park Benjamin why
he never came to Brooklyn to hear him
preach. Benjamin replied, “Why, Beech
er, the fact is, I have conscientious scru
ples against going to places of public
amusement on Sundays.”
Friends.—Josh Billings says of
friends : “I got mine and manage to keep
them by not asking them fur anything but
advice; you can’t ask anything of a man
that he loves to give more, and costs him
Bless, than advice.”
A woman was enjoined to try the
effect of kindness on her husband, since
it would heap coals of fire on his head, re
plied that she had tried ‘bilin’ water and
it didn’t do a bit of good.
A gentleman who wan in arrears
for several week’s board and lodging, com
plained one morning that his coffee was
not settled. “You bad belter settle for
the coffee, and then complain,” said the
landlady.

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