The southern aegis. [volume], February 01, 1862, Image 1

About The southern aegis. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1857-1862

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“ LET JOB CLING TO THE CONSTITUTION AS THE MARINER CLINGS TO THE LAST PLANK WHEN THE NIGHT AND TEMPEST CLOSE ABOUND HIM.”
SI P£R ANNUM. BEL AIK. Ml). SATURDAY MORNING. FEB. 1. 1862. VOL. VI-NO. 5.
|)oetical.
A Poem for President Lincoln.
BY A DADOHTBB OF DIXIE. *
SOUTHRONS.
Voa can never win them back—
Never—never!
Though they perish on the track
Of .Vour endeavor—
Though their courses strew the earth
That smiled upon their birth,
And blood pollutes'each hearth
stone forever.
They have risen, to a man,
Stern and fearless !
Of your curses and. your ban
They are careless 1
Every hand is on its knife
Every gun is primed for strife,
Every palm contains n life
* ■ High and peerless !
Vou have no such blood as theirs
For ‘.he shedding.
Imthe veins of cavaliers
.ij) m**, wa*;u Wuidsig. ♦, v
You have no such stately men
In your Abolition den—
To march thro' foe and fen,
Nothing dreading.
They may fall before the fire
Of your legions,
Paid in gold for murder’d hire,
{liouyht allegiance!)
But, for every drop you shed
You shall have a mound of dead !
And the vultures shall be fed
In out regions.
But the battle to the strong
Is not given,
When the Judge of right and wrong
Sits in heaven !
And the God of David still
Guides the pebbles with his will—
There arc giants yet to kill—
Wrongs unshriven I
IpisffUattfons.
Picketing. —A Burlesque. — While on
my lonely beat, about an hour ago, a light
tread attracted my attention, and, on look
ing up, I beheld one of secesh’s pickets
standing before me. , ... . * 1
“Soldier,” says he, “yyu remind mo of
' tuy grandmother, who expired befis,e I
was born; but this unnatural war hasVtado
. us enemies, and I must shoot you. f Jtive
me a chaw terbacker.”
He was a young man, my boy, in the
prime of life, and descended from the First
Families of Virginia. That is to say, his
mother was a virgin. At least that’s what
[ understand by the First Families of Vir
ginia.
I looked at him, and says I:
“Let’s compromise, my brother.”
“Never!” says be, “The South is fight
ing for her liberty, her firesides, and the
pursuit of happiness, and I desire most re
spectfully to welcome you with bloody
hands to a hospitable grave,”
“Stand off ten paces,” says I, “and let’s
see whose name shall come before the coro
ner first.” but
He took bis place, and wc fired simulta
neously. 1 beard a ball go whistling by
a barn about a quarter of a mile on my right;
and when the smoko cleared away, I saw
; the secesh picket appr lack me with an
’awful expression of woe on his otherwise
dirty countenance.
“Soldier,” says he, “was there anything
in my head before \ou tired !”
“Nothing .-ays I, “. ave a few harmless
insects.”
“1 speak not of them,” says he, “Was
| there anything inside, of my head ?”
“Nothing!’’ says 1
“Well,’’ says bo, “just listen now.”
He sh nok his head mournfully, and I
beard something rattle in. it.
“What’i^that exclaimed,
i “That,” sayg “is your bullet, which
I has penetrated my*skull, and is rolling
I around in my brain. “I die happy, and
with an empty stomach; but there is one
thing I should like to see before I perish
for my country. Have you a quarter about
~ . , ,'. -i.
Too much affected to speak, I drew the
coin from my pocket and handed it to him
The dying man clutched it convulsively,
and stared at it feverishly.
“This,” said he, “is the first quarter
I’ve seen since the fall of Sumter, and had
j 1 wounded you, I should have been totally
, unable to give you any quarter. Ah! bow
■ beautiful it is! how bright, how exquisite,
, and good for four drinks! But I have not
time to say all I feel.”
The expiring soldier then laid down his
gun, hung his cap and overcoat on 3. branch
of a tree, aud blew his nose.
! He then died."
And there I stood, my boy, on that lone
ly beat, looking down upon that fallen
type of manhood, and thinking how singu
lar it was be had forgotten to give me
back my quarter. The sight and the
thought so affected me that i was obliged
to turn ray back on the corpse and walk a
little way from it. When I returned to
the spot the body was gone! Had it gone
to heaven? Perhaps so, my boy—perhaps
so; hut 1 haven’t.seen my quarter since.”
A Quaker Cornered. —Old Jacob J.
wai a shrewd Quaker merchant in Burling
ton, New Jersey, and, like all shrewd men,
Was often a little too smart for himself. —
An old Quaker lady of Bristol, Pennsylva
nia, just over the river, bought some goods
at Jacob’s store, when he was absent, and
in crossing the riveir on her way home, she
met him aboard the boat, and, as was usual
with him upon such occasions, he immedi
ately pitched into her bundle of goods and
untied it to see what she had keen buying.
“ Oh now,” says he, “ how much a yard
did you give for that, and that, and that?”
taking up the several pieces of goods —-
She told him the price, without/"however,
saying whore she had got them. “I could
have sold you those goods for so much a
yard,” said he, mentioning a price ft great
deal lower than she had paid. “Yoh know
l ean undersell everybody in the place;”
and so ue went on criticising and underva
luing the goods till the boat reacted Bris
tol, when he was invited to go to the old
lady’s store, and when there the goods were
spread Out on the counter, and Jacob was
asked to examine the goods again, and eay
the price which he would have sold them
at per yard, tbc old lady, mean while, tak
ing a memorandum. She then went to
the dek and made out a hill of the differ
ence between what she had paid and the
price ho tojd her; then, coming up to him,
she said—
“ Now, Jacob, thee is sure thee could
have sold those goods at the price thee
mentioned ?”
“ Oh, now, yes,” says he.
“Well then, thy young man must havp
made a mistake; for I bought the geods
from .1 fy store, and of course, under the
circumstances, thee can have no objection
to refund, me the difference.”
Jacob, being thus : cornered, could, of
course not refuse—as there were several
jjueijAjijijxroiiont who had heard his assor
tionr%f* ' k * -** '■ " '
Lobg-winded persons can gather a
hint from the following :
“Jlero, John,” said a gentleman to his
servant on horseback, in the rear, “ come
forward, and just take hold of my horse,
whilst I dismount; after I am dismounted;
John,you dismount too. Then ungirtß the
saddle of your horse, and put it down; then
you will please ungirth the saddle of my
horse and put it down. Then John take
up the saddle of your horse and put and
girth it on my horse. Afterwards, John,
take up the saddle of my horse and put
and girth it on your horse. Then, John,
I will seat myself in your saddle, and you
can seat yourself in mine, and we can. re
sume our journey.”
“ Bless me, waster, said the man, “why
coukn’t yon have simply said, let’s change
saddles?”
An Accomodating Okkatiutk—On
Thursday evening lust a couple of young I
folks called on Esquire P., and after consid
erable hositation requeted to be united in
the “holy bonds of matrimony,” which re
quest the Esquire at once procee to
comply with. The bride from the h teness
of the hour and the peculiar nature of the
call thought some explanation no ossary
and Very innocently remarked; .“We came
from Columbia county to attend ‘he fair,
but finding tbc taverns all full, and no
place fur Aleck to sleep, we concluded to
get married so he could sleep with me!”
Such a wife as that is worth having.
— i
sailor, calling upon a refiner, ask
ed him what might be the value oTdn in
got of gold as big as big arm. The,refiner
beckoned him into a back roomj and prim
ed him with grog. He Ufeh asked to see
the ingot. “Oh,” said .Tack, u I haven’t
got it yet; but I’m going to Melbourne
and would like to know the value of such
a lump before I start.” *
V ,
A pood Mother is worth an army of
acquaintances, and a true hearted, noble
minded sister is more precious than the
“five hundred friends.” The love we ex
perience for domestic blessings, increases
otlr fafth, is an infinite goodness, and it is a
foretaste of a better world to come. Our
homes are the support of the government
and the churches, and all the associations
and organizations that give blessings and
yitality to social existence, are herein orig
inated and fostered.
_
Turner, the painter, was a feady
wit. Once, at a dinner, tvhere several
artists, amateurs, and literary men were
oonvenod, a poet, byway of being faceti
ous proposed as a toast the health of the
painters and gla?iers of Great Britain. —
The toast was drunk, and Turner, after re
turning thanks Tor it, proposed the health
of the British paper stuiners.
A chaplain was preaching to a class
of collegians about the formation of habits.
said he, “ close your ear?
against hud discourses.’* The itndeiits iui-
mediately clapped their hands to their ears.
Tlio man that hails you Tom or Jack,
And proves by thumps upon your back
How he esteems your merit,
Is such a friend that one has need
He very much his friend indeed,
To pardon or to bear it.
(jcgp.v mother, who is a better attender
at halls than at churches, went with her"
child, a smart lad of three, to meeting one
Sunday. When they began to play the
organ, the child said:—
“ Ma, what are they going to do now?
Don’t you dance?”
Dr. Stone, of New Orleans, speak
ing of yellow fever, says: —“The fever has
a certain course to run. Keep the patient
from lying, and he’ll get well.” Ahem!—
Doctor O’Killagain couldn’t have said
more.
i 0* A poor scamp left his wife in a
great rage declaring that she could never
see his face again until he was rich enough
to come home in a carriage. He kept his
word; for in two hours he was brought home
richly drunk in a wheelbarrow.
A teacher wishing to explain the
rahnner in which a lobster oasts his shed
when he- has outgrown it, said, “What do
you do when you outgrow your clothes?
You throw them aside, don’t you?” “Oh
no !'•’ replied the little one, “ we let out
the tucks.”
* An Irish lover said, “it is a great
pleasure to be alone, especially when yer
swateheart J s wid ye.”
saw a drunken /ellow the other
day,, who mistaking a fly on an awning
post for a. nail, tried to hang up bis-haton
it. The fly was astonished—so was the
man—while the spectators were highly de
lighted to hear him “cuss the nail.