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VOL. 59. WHOLE No. 2244
fgUscellaujeous. Muller & Yearley, 343 H. GAT STREET, Sfd Baltimore, Md. Blankets & Robes Our line tbis season surpasses all previous ef * forts. It comprises all the Newest asd Bsst Featohes in HORSE CLOTHING. We have everything in BLANKETS, from a CHEAP BOHLAP to the FINEST ALL WOOL. Chase Lap Robes Are here in Great Variety of Color and Pleasing: Patterns. —OUR PRICES — Just the same pleasing low tone that always prevails at The Harness Store of Baltimore. Bept.2ltMay2s ESTABLISHED 1870. MAIER’S PREPARED PAINTS ABB STRICTLY PURE LEAD AND ZINC PAINTS. Guaranteed Equal to tlie Best. -MANUFACTURED BY JOHN G. MAIER’S SONS, 153-158 N. GAY STREET, Cor Frederick Street. BALTIMORE, Md. Both Phones. I July ft—ly EDWARD E. BURNS. FRANK BURNS. JOHN BURNS’ SONS, JFunara.l Directors, TOWSON, Md, C. & P. Phone-TOWSON. 77-F. Feb. 23—ly Dr. A. 0. McOURDY & CO., TOWSON. Md. Orders received for— ALL KINDS OF SLATE. Peach Bottom Roofing Slate, Slabs for Walks, y L JS<* Chimney Tops, MjT Burial Cases, KM • Cemetery Slabs, * Imposing Stones, Ac., Ac. OVCall on or address as above. C. A P. Phone—Towson 33 R. [June29-ly STEVENSON’S COAL YARDS RIDER, N. C. R. R. COAL of ALL KINDS For sale at Lowest Market Rates. filled promptly. A share of patron age solicited. Address. A LLE.N STEVESON, Rider P. 0.. Baltimore county. Md. Nov. 10—ly ESTABLISHED 1576. 80TH PHONES. DANIEIT RIDER, 1001 GREEN MOUNT AVENUE, BALTIMORE, Md., COMMISSION * MERCHANT For the Sale of Hay, Grain and Straw. Orders for Mill Feed. Gluten Feed, Cotton Seed Meal, Oil Cake Meat, Salt, Ac., will receive prompt attention [Mch. 30—ly jgtocfe. partus. Mil View M In Oakleigh Station, Md. & Pa. R. R., 3X Miles from Towson. Constantly on hand A LARGE STOCK OF MULES, TO SUIT ALL PURPOSES. —ALSO— Csach, Driving, : nTTfumlT Saddle and : ' n\ r \ General Purpose liUllullU FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE. horses¥oarded 0. ft P. TELEPHONE. DUANE H.lttOE, Prop’r, TOWSON, Md. Oot.l9—ly GROVE FARM FALLS ROAD, North of Brooklandvllle, Md PRIZE WINNING— Guernsey Cattle, Berkshire Hogs, Shropshire Sheep, Colored Muscovy Ducks, TOR SALE BULL CALF, out of Imp. Lady Simon by Milford Lassie 2d Anchor. Dropped April 30th,1907. Also. 8 GRADE GUERNSEY SPRINGERS. In calf to Milford Lassie 2d Anobor, THE BULL THAT WINS. Apply to JAS. McR. MERRYMAN, R. F. D. Lutherville, Md. C. ft P. Telephone-Towson 42. Oat. 19—y LIFE'S BESTLESS SEA. BY O. P. M'HOBERTS. Over the sea. life’s restless sea. The silent waves are bearing me. Where is stillness and so calm That nought affrights, no fears alarm, Where not a shadow will avail. To warn me of approaching gale. My Saviour in that quiet hour Will shield me from destruction’s power. Over the sea, life’s restless sea. The boist’rous waves are bearing me. My bark is frail and I’m alone. And all before me is unknown. Though mist of darkness be around. Though many dangers may abound. Yet He who walked upon the sea Will still protect and comfort me. Over the sea, life’s restless sea. The angry waves are bearing me. Though storms may rage and water* roar, And fam far away from shore. I’ll have no fear, whate’er betide. With Christ my Pilot as my Guide. ’Twas he who bade the storm be still. And He’ll provide for every ill. Over the sea, life’s restless sea. The waves are swiftly bearing me. They’ll bear me far and farther o'er. And break on that celestial shore. There in that blissful land, and blest. That haven of eternal rest. I’ll anchor where all storms are past, And see my Pilot’s face at last. FLOY’S SILENCE. BY ADA FERRIS. Somebody was helping himself from the valuable stock at Vane & Hunt’s big dry goods store —and nobody knew who or when or how. The employes had been asked to use extra care and vigilance, and the most light hearted girl there felt worried and uneasy. Was it a clever shoplifter? Could there be a thief among them ? Did the firm suspect anyone ? Was there perhaps a detective watching them even now? And —did detectives not sometimes make mistakes? Every one was painfully nervous, and impa tient to have the mystery cleared up. “And I believe you know some thing about it, Floy,” said Jennie Burnham, under her breath, to a fel low clerk. “Why, what makes you think that?” Floy asked, startled. “I know it. I know by—by the way you hold your tongue when we are all puzzling about it. Now what is it?” “No,” said Floy Irving, very slow ly, as if weighing every word, “no, I do not know any more than the rest of you about this. I don’t even know what is missing.” “But you have a suspicion. Now own up.” “No,” even more slowly. “And if I had, it might be doing a great mistake to tell.” “Oh, you obstinate little mule ! I wish there was an X ray so we could look through the people’s heads and find out what they knew.” But some one came up just then, and Floy seized the opportunity to slip away, with a deep breath of thankfulness. For sne did know something—only, had it anything to do with this case? If she spoke, all in the store —or all but two, perhaps —would say at once, “That solves lliv i idtll. u Rut tvwulrl it Of nol<l it only practically convict one who might after all be innocent? “Oh, if there were only some X ray by which one might look into a soul and see if it were true I Therft he stood at an opposite counter, quiet and faithful, although he must know that one word from her would con centrate all this dark cloud of suspi cion on his head. “Yet why should she not say, “I do not know who is the thief now, but I know who was responsible for a similar course of petty losses a few years ago, and not so many miles away. He calls himself Robert Mur dock now, but he was sent to the re form school then under the name of Bob Jamieson.” Yet was it quite fair to conclude that because Bob Jamieson, ill fed, ill-clothed and ill-advised by an un scrupulous stepfather, had robbed the employer who provoked the act by refusing to pay fair wages, therefore Robert Murdock, some years older, wiser, and to all appearance strictly honorable, was equally guilty ? He had been in the store some months now, and apparently she alone knew of this old trouble. She hardly knew why she had not told that he was an old schoolmate of her own— partly, perhaps, because so much had been said of a girl’s inability to keep a secret, and she resented the idea, but more on account of a kindly re luctance to make trouble for one try ing to start anew. No one but him self knew that they had ever met before. Murdock’s behavior had been fault less —almost too good to be natural, it seemed to Floy. Still, this might mean only that he was determined to retrieve his good name and bury the old disgrace from sight forever. What injustice, then, practically to convict him of this new theft, without one particle of proof, and make the cloud above him darker than ever ! Yet the word once spoken could never be recalled. And there before her eyes every day stood Robert Mur dock, waiting the word that should hurl him to destruction —yet neither by w’ord nor look appealing for mercy. She slipped out hurriedly, when the day’s work was over, lest Jennie should overtake and ply her with more questions. She did not want to talk —or to think. What was the use of puzzling one’s brains over a problem one had not facts to solve? But before she had fairly reached her boarding place she was stopped by one of her comrades in the store, with a piteous appeal: “O Floy Irving, I’m in such a bother! You’ll help me out, won’t you? There’s a darling ! My head aches fit to split, and there was such a crowd at our counter I couldn’t be gin to keep things straight, and some of the ladies pulled the laces all round and got them into such a tangle ! I do believe one of them was the shop lifter that is making us all so much trouble. I didn’t dare to take my eyes off her, and I just shoved the whole tangle back in a drawer, out of sight, till I had time to straighten them out. And my head ached so that I forgot them entirely. O Floy, would you go and put them away for me —like an angel? I don’t feel as if I could stand it to go back myself tonight.” When did Floy Irving ever refuse to do a favor? The jolly old night watchman would admit her readily enough, she knew, even if the book keepers had finished and gone—and often one or another of the clerks was detained. So in a few moments later she re entered the store by the rear door. How ghostly and empty it looked in the dim light! There was no sign of life save the watchman’s whistle away up in one of the galleries. She hur ried toward Annie’s counter, and turn ing a corner, came sharply upon — Robert Murdock ! How often she had wished for a chance to question him ! Here it was —if she only knew how to use it. “Did I frighten you?” he asked, civilly, for she had given a startled cry. “I merely stepped out to see who was coming in. Mr. Hale asked me to stay and Help unpack some new goods tonight.” Floy briefly explained her own pres ence in turn. No one at Vane & Hunt’s wanted any suspicion attach ing to their movements just now. Then —for she dared not let this gol den opportunity pass—she added hur riedly, “I —I want to ask you one question.” Involuntarily she caught his arm and turned his face toward the light. “Well?” “Is Robert Murdock your true name ?” “My true name. -It was my father’s before me. Jamieson was only my stepfather. Is that all?” For she had dropped her hand and turned away with a gesture of hopelessness. “Yes —no! That is, what’s the use ? I know what you would say— either way ! There’s no use wasting time.” “And you wouldn’t believe any thing I said —either way ! No, it’s not much use talking,” he said bit terly. “I —I don’t understand!” gasped Floy, startled. “You think, ‘Once a thief, always a thief.’ Well, you won’t believe me, I suppose. I don’t know why you have kept my secret so long, un less you liked to play with me as a cat does with a mouse. Neverthe less, I will say this —as heaven hears me, I know nothing whatever about the thefts in this store. lam as in nocent of them as you are.” “I believe you!” Floy exclaimed, extending her hand eagerly, “And I don’t believe that horrible old say ing. Don’t be angry with me, please. I didn’t mean to be hard or cruel. I never thought you cared to have me speak to you. I wasn’t playing with you. I kept still because I thought it was right—and now I know it was. You may trust me.” He controlled his voice by an effort. ‘‘Pwgiw fnt*, I ahntilA waY'HAVe ken so. You have a right to choose your acquaintances.” “The watchman is coming; I must go at Annie’s laces. But I know what to believe now,” and she hur ried on breathlessly. A moment later she was hastily bringing order out of chaos, even while explaining her re turn to her friend, the watchman. "She’s a careless one!” the old man growled. “I’d let her do her own straightening. ’Tisn’t your busi - ness. ’ ’ “She was sick, you know,” Floy said, excusingly. “I don’t mind helping her a little.” She glanced unconsciously over where Murdock was now arranging the new goods on the shelves. “If ’twas any of the other girls, now, I’d just, wonder if she hadn’t an idea that Bob Murdock might offer to see her home,” chuckled the watch man. “But I never saw you show any weakness in that line.” “Oh, you don’t see anything!” Floy laughed, although her cheeks flamed. “But I’ll be done and at home long before he can get away.” “Oh, if you spoke to him tonight, I’ll warrant it was the first time.” At which suggestion Floy’s ner vous fingers only flew the faster. She did not care to talk more with him tonight. Yet she was very glad she had come. Her doubts were settled now. Only—she wished she had been a little less cautious and a little kinder —a little more just, perhaps. But at least she was thankful that she had not spoken out her doubts. But when she entered the store the next morning, the air was heavier than ever with doubt and dread. More losses had been discovered. The girls huddled together, exchanging wild guesses in frightened whispers. The firm had not given out any word, but there was unwonted hurrying to and fro, the senior partner had been summoned by telephone, and now was closeted with Mr. Hum, the junior partner, one of the floor walkers and the head bookkeeper. And with them was a sharp-eyed little man no one knew —a detective, perhaps. Mr. Hale and the watchman had been called before them, as the last per sons in the store the preceding night. It seemed that matters were to be thoroughly sifted at last. “They’d better ask who else was here last night,” Katie Maguire whis pered, venomously. “Mr. Hale wasn’t the only one.” “You don’t mean Mr. Murdock? Why you might as well accuse a par son !” cried two or three at once. “No, I don’t mean Mr. Murdock. Somebody else was here after hours, with a mighty poor excuse —some- body that holds herself quite too high and mighty to go with ordinary folks.” “Floy Irving ? O bosh ! She came to oblige Annie. Floy’s one of the nicest girls in the store.” “Maybe, but if I was Mr. Hunt I’d look into her obligingness a little.” Of course this was not before Floy’s face, but she caught enough side glan ces and incautious words to make her very uncomfortable. “It’s only Katie’s spite,” she told herself, but she went to her work flushed and nervous, not forgetting, however, to give Robert Murdock a nod and a smiling “Good morning!” TOWSON, MD., SATURDAY, JANUARY 11. 1908. : How gravely he returned it I But -of course this suspense was even taard ' er for him than for the other. A lit ■ tie later she saw him entering the [ private office. i A particularly exasperating custo mer taxed her attention to the utmost for the next quarter of an hour, but her long breath of relief as the wo i man departed was cut short by the f ominous words: “You are wanted in the private office, Miss Irving.” “I? What for?” Floy gased in dismay. “I do not know. No doubt they will tell you.” Was it only her ; fancy, or was the tone frosty with suspicion ? She saw the girls around exchange startled glances, heard Katie’s exultant whisper, “You see ! : Didn’t I tell you so?” and Jennie’s indignant “Hush ! That doesn’t . mean anything.” ' '*f > Of course it did not, Floy told her self. It was only their excitement which gave significance to such a trifle. To be sure, girls were not summoned to the private office often. But why should she be nervous ? What if she had seen Robert Mur dock entering the private room just a little while ago? The villain in a story book might make a false accu sation to rid himself of a troublesome witness, but in real life —if only her cheeks would not burn so! It was enough to make anyone suspect her, and the very thought made them burn hotter. All this flashed through Floy’s mind as she walked quickly from her counter to the door of the private office; but if her heart beat so fast that it seemed to choke her, she car ried her head bravely. Inside the dreaded portal she pass ed, outwardly calm, inwardly fight ing down a panic. The partners and head bookkeeper were in close con sultation. Kindly Mr. Hunt nodded to her, bidding her sit down, but ner vous Mr. Vane snapped out shortly ; “We hear that you were here after hours last night, Miss Irving. How is that ? And how did you get in ?” Floy explained briefly why and how she had returned, forcing her self to speak steadily, although all the time something seemed whisper ing in her ear, “How should they know that unless he has forestalled you by throwing suspicion on you? Why did you let yourself be con vinced so easily ? Didn’t you know that a man who would steal would lie? Why didn’t you speak out at first? After he has once accused you, your story will sound like a weak attempt at self-defence. And she could only tell herself, desperately, “I told him he might trust me. I can’t break my word unless I am sure.” - "Huw long were you Here r WHS”" did you do? Be exact now,” Mr. Vane demanded, while Mr. Hunt leaned back, watching her with an odd, amused air that bewildered and alarmed her, as if he were expecting —she did not know what. Certainly not the matter-of-fact answer she gave. “Not over 20 minutes, I think. I stopped to exchange a few words with Mr. Murdock, maybe five min utes. I put the counter and drawers in order as quickly as possible, and went out as I came in. The watch man spoke to me while I was at work, but that did not delay me.” “And what were you talking about, if I may ask?” Mr. Vane snapped. Mr. Hunt’s eyes twinkled as he wait ed for her answer. That voice seemed to roar in her ears, “Tell it all? You will never have such a chance again. Can’t you see that be has accused you to save him self?” But she said, steadily, Oh, the watchman teased me about com ing back so as to talk with Mr. Mur dock. We told each other how we happened to come back to the store, and—” “And what?” Mr. Vane demanded sharply, as she hesitated. “And complained a little about how nervous these mysterious thefts were making us all,” she finished, boldly. “What do you think about these thefts, Miss Irving?” Mr. Hunt ask ed, suddenly, his eyes twinkling mere than ever. Once more Floy desperately fought off a great temptation. “I don’t know what to think.” He chuckled, rubbing his hands together in satisfaction. “You understand stenography and typewriting, I am told?” “Yes, sir!” gasped Floy, staring. She had taken great pains to learn, hoping to find a better position, but so far none had offered. “Well, I am without a private clerk this morning. Sit down there and put these letters into shape, if you please. These to be answered — according to the notes I have scrib bled on them. You know the proper form, of course.” Floy obeyed, feel ing perfectly dazed. The partners went out and were gone some time. She was just finishing the task as signed when Mr. Hunt returned. He looked over the letters, tested her skill in shorthand, then thoroughly confounded her by saying : “How would you like the place of my private clerk and typewriter, Miss Irving ? I have been obliged to part with young Greydon. He talked too freely of my business affairs. You don’t write quite so fast, but I see you know how to keep a secret to perfection.” “I keep a secret ?” Floy gasped. He laughed and patted her shoul der in his fatherly fashion. “Let me put your mind at ease about Bob Mur dock. I know all about that Jamie son affair. The boy told me himself when he first asked for work. His father and I were old friends. I don’t think I’ll regret giving him a fair chance. And now the mystery of the thefts is solved. It was the jani tor of the place next door. He found a board loose in the partition between the cellars, and thought he had dis covered a bonanza—thought he never would be suspected. But when he tried to dispose of the things he was caught. “Tut, tut, child, don’t cry ! You’ve done splendidly. I expected every day that you would speak out, and have every one thinking Boh was the guilty one. But you didn’t, so I think I can trust you to hold your tongue about other matters, too. “But I almost said it 20 times,” Floy said, honestly. “Indeed ! Why didn’t you quite say it ?” “Because I was afraid it might be doing injustice —and ‘A word once spoken, a coach and six horses can’t bring back,’ as grandpa used to tell us.” “Then if you once make up your mind, after careful consideration, that it is right to tell other people my bus .inesssecrets, you will do it, will you ?’ ’ '“St; asked, dryly. “Why—yes—l suppose so,” Floy faltered. “But not till then?” “Oh, no !” she said, earnestly. “Well, if you wait till then, I think we won’t quarrel. Consider your self engaged. And you may tell Bob Murdock, if you like, that I have taken you on his recommendation.” Youth's Companion. DOMEBTIC HAPPINESS. The foundation of all domestic hap piness is laid on a clean hearth. There can be neither health, prosperity, nor peace in an ill- kept home. Some peo ple’s idea of a poor housekeeper is a woman who runs the house on busi ness principles. Weknowthatnoman can make a success of his business without paying strict attention to de tail and system; also, systematic housekeeping has a telling effect upon one’s success as a housekeeper. It is all accomplished by being well versed in all parts of household work and doing it by a systematic plan. Sys tem means planning. Try formula ting a plan for the day while dressing in the morning, making the allowance for any disairangement of your plan, which is almost sure to occur every day. Plan and arrange the work of the family so that all may work to gether for the good of the whole. In order to meet the pressure of modern life, a home-maker needs ex act knowledge and scientific training. The modern American girl has re ceived a man’s education, and in the majority of cases has no knowledge whatever about home making. Sad experience teaches many lessons, but much money and untold nerve energy is wasted in the progress. American mothers, more than any others, err in not teaching their daughters the proper care of a household, and every year sees hundred of girls marry with nojmore idea ot how to cook or keep house tnan they have to tne Norm Pole. — Mts. W. W. Simon , in Farm Stock Journal. REFUSED ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Mrs. Isaac Yoakum, who died at Monroe, lowa, at the age of 85 years, might have been Mrs. Abraham Lin coln had she so desired. She had the chance, for Abraham Lincoln once proposed marriage to her, says a Des Moines dispatch to the Kansas City Journal. “I preferred Isaac Yoakum, that’s why!” Mrs. Yoakum used to say when visitors asked her why she re fused the heart and hand of the future great man. “And that’s where I got ahead of Abe,” was the favorite comment of Yoakum whenever he repeated the story. Of course, both Mrs. Yoakum, whose maiden name was Elizabeth Brownley, and Mr. Lincoln, were rather young when they went to husking bees and spelling contests and all those other things that one reads about. But Abe’s affection for her was none the less sincere. Only it wasn’t returned in the same degree. HORBEB HAVE HUMOR. Horses may have no souls but they have humor, which for the practical purposes of the world is sometimes quite good, and let no one doubt they enjoy it. Some time ago a fire horse that had been sold to a second hand furniture man was coming down the street with a load on when the signal gong rang in the engine house it just happened to pass. The old horse had been going at the pace of a nag that works by the day. But there was a change. The driver picked himself up to see his steed disappearing around the corner at breakneck speed, with bureau drawers and chairs flying out behind and littering the street. Away it went, like a meteor, ahead of the flying fire brigade to the fire, picked out a hydrant and backed what was left of the wagon up against it. Only then did it stop. But if any doubter could have seen the grin on that horse’s face as it eyed its driver who came panting up to claim it, he would have doubted no longer. WHY HE WAS SUMMONED. One day a village parson was sum moned in haste by Mrs. Johnson, who had been taken seriously ill. He went in some wonder because she was out of his parish, and was known to be devoted to her own minister, the Rev. Mr. Hopkins. While he was waiting in the parlor before seeing the sick woman, he passed the time by talking with her daughter. “I am very pleased your mother thought of me in her illness,” he said. “Is Mr. Hopkins away ?” The lady looked very shocked. “Oh, dear no!” she replied, “but we are afraid mother has something contagious, and we don’t like to let dear Mr. Hopkins run any risks.” And the richer a man is the easier it is for him to lie about bow much happier he was when he didn’t have a dollar. Giving him credit has started many A man on the road to the almshouse. A NEW WOMAN’S CLUB. Springfield, Mass., is going to have another woman’s club, and, unlike the existing clubs, it will have no ob ject, no serious object ; that is, it is to be for the enjoyment, pure and simple, and for the refreshment of the inner woman. The Springfield wo men feel that they need a few breath ing spells now and then in between the intellectual activities and civic re forms in which the existing clubs im merse them, so they planned this club —the tea-room, it is to be called. The other clubs have accomplished a good many things ; but none of them ever offered a cup of tea to the women, and the latter stood the omission as long as they could, but, being women, feel that they can endure it no longer. The new club is organized in most businesslike fashion. A pretty cot tage has been ‘fitted up for the pro ject, and will be thrown open to the members very soon. An expert ca terer has been placed in charge, and every afternoon, from 2 o’clock until 6, tea, sandwiches and toasted Eng lish muffins will be served in the way of particularly nice pastry or cakes. Small parties, by notifying the caterer in advance, may be served with lunch eon there. One of the rooms will be reserved for small bridge whist parties. The new club bids fair to be the so cial centre of the city this winter. The members will find it very useful for introducing guests from other towns to their friends, a much easier way than that of giving a party or other social function for the guest at home. In connection with this club will be a woman’s exchange. This, it is thought, will be a great help to many women who are not as well off as they once were. There are women who have special skill in some one line, perhaps in cookery, knitting or embroidery, but who shrink from put ting their wares on the public market. In the tearoom’s exchange every thing will be managed for them, and only a small commission will be charged on the sale of the articles, a commission of ten per cent, or so. One woman who has a reputation for making a certain Thanksgiving cake is looked forward to reaping a harvest through the exchange this month. Sveral women will send in painted din ner cards and card scores, and dainty things for favors or whist prizes. An other woman who knits baby jack ets will place them on sale there, and get some needed money. Everything, from pies to portieres, will have a place in the exchange. Perhaps, after all, it is not fair to say that the new Springfield club has no serious object. —New York Tribune. HIS FIRST ELEVATOR RIDE. Uncle Reuben came back from the city, excited and nervous. He had gone to the city to transact some law business connected with his farm, with a lawyer whose office was in a modern skyscraper, and whose address Reuben carried along for memoran dum. “Wal,” he began, after his wife, alarmed at his changed condition, had threatened to summon the doctor from the nearest village, if he would not explain its cause, “I had about th’ skinniest shave from death, this morn ing, I ever heard on ! It wuz in that lawyer’s buildin’, too. Y’ see, I found th’ right place an’ started lookin’ through th’ buildin’ f’r his name an’ number. Finally, after walkin’ up stairs after stairs f’r over two hours, I set down all tired out on th’ top step o’ th’ last stairway, completely discouraged. “ ‘Where kin I find Lawyer Barnes’ office?’ I asked a man hurryin’ by me. He didn’t stop, but just pointed his thumb at a young feller standin’ inside a little cage-like room, chewin’ gum like sixty. So I stepped over an’ into this little room an’ asked th’ boy, if he was Lawyer Barnes’ clerk. ‘No,’ he sez, a bit fresh-like, ‘but I’ll see that y’ see’m !’ Then that fresh young feller hit th’ wall a punch that did th’ hull business?” Here Reuben paused to cover his eyes and shake all over. “He hadn’t any more’n hit that wall, when he dislodged that room’s git-rich quick fastenin’s,” he went on when his spell was over, “anth’ hull flor o’ that room fell right out an’ daown them fifteen stories to th’ ground takin’ me an’ that young fel lar with it! “Wal, thank God, here I be, Sa rah. How either o’ us escaped gittin’ every bone in our bodies broke I don’t know, an don’t care. All I know is, that floor fell flat on th’ ground an’ we didn’t lose our footin.’ When that shock wuz over I hugged th’ young fellar f’r joy an’ give him a five-dollar bill f’r openin’ th’ door an’ lettin’ me out ahead o’ him. Then I hustled fer home.” The Bohemian. WITTY MOONSHINER. United States Judge Emery Speer, of the Southern district of Georgia, recently had before his court a typical mountaineer on the typical Georgia charge of illicit distilling. “What is your name?” demanded the eminent jurist. “Joshua, jedge,” drawled the pris oner. “Joshua, who made the sun stand still?” asked the judge, smiling at the laconic answer. “No, sir; Joshua who made the moonshine,” answered the quick-wit ted mountaineer. And it is needless to say that Judge Speer made the sentence as light as he possibly could, saying to his friends in telling the story, that wit like that deserved some recompense. Two hundred years from now, moth ers in the gerat European art centres will say to their children: “If you don’t stop crying J. P. Morgan will get you.” Ip a girl remains single until her ideal man comes along the chances are that her maiden name wijl adorn ! her tombstone. DEATH IN COAL MINES. The coal mines of the United States are killiug three times as many men per 1,000 employed as those of most European countries. In the last seventeen years 22,840 men have giv en up their lives in the mines of this country. As many violent deaths oc curred in the mines during the last six years as during the preceding elev en years. The number of fatal accidents each year is now double that in 1895. In 1906 6,861 were killed or injured in the mines, the killed numbering 2,- 061 and the injured 4,800. These terrible facts have been glean ed by government experts, acting un der orders from Secretary Garfield of the Interior department to investigate the nature and extent of mine acci dents. The report asserts that the increase iu the number of mine explosions has been due in part to the lack of relia ble information concerning the ex plosives used in mining and the con ditions under which they can be used safely in the presence of the gas and dust, and in part to the fact that in the development of coal mining not only is the number of miners increas ing, but many areas from which coal in being taken are either deep or far ther from the entrance, where good ventilation is more difficult and the dangerous accumulations of explo sive gas more frequent. Experience in the deeper and more dangerous coal mines of Belgium and other countries not only indicates that these mine accidents may be reduced to less than one-third their present number in the United States, but also gives promise of results which in the future may at least approach complete prevention. The report shows that in all Euro pean 1 coal-producing countries the out put of coal has increased greatly dur ing the last ten years, but the number of deaths per 1,000 miners instead of increasing as in this country, has un dergone a marked decrease. This de crease has been due to the effect of mining legislation in those countries for the safeguarding and protection of the lives of the workmen, and has been made possible by government action in establishing testing stations for the study of problems relative to safety in mining, including the use of explo sives. Fifty per cent, of all the fatalities and 39 per cent, of all nonfatal acci dents in the mines of the United States were the result of falls of roof and coal. In all European coal-producing countries the use ot excessive charge of explosives is prohibited by law, and definite limits are set as to the amount ot any explosive that can be used. Although these regulations were fram ed with the object of preventing gas explosions, it is believed that they have been of marked effect in prevent ing accidents from falls of roofs and coal. Gas and dust explosions form an other important cause of mine acci dents. in the United States during 1906, 11 per cent, of all the deaths in coal mines were due to such explo sions. In regard to deaths per million tons of coal mined the United States not only occupies a position worse than that of most European countries, but is also showing an increase in the rate, whereas every other country is show ing a decrease. EIGHT HOURS A DAY FOR HOUSEWIVES. “Exceptions aside, the average woman can do about as she wishes with the average man,” says the edi tor in the Woman's Home Companion in a strong editorial on President Roosevelt’s recent speech to an assem bly of farmers in Indiana. “If the wives strike for eight hours they will win ; a union composed of such powerful individual members, and with a walking delegate so distin guished, would overcome all obstacles. And what are the obstacles ? Why is it that the woman of the house, es pecially the woman on the farm, rises when the suu is ashamed to rise, and works long after the sun has sunk to rest? Is it the men? Are they such beasts that they require more of the women they promise to love and cherish than they do themselves ? In some cases yes ; but in most cases the question never rises in the man’s mind. He never saw his mother do anything but work, until she died or went crazy, poor thing; and his wife —why, of course there are always little things to do around the house. Of course he has more help in bis own business when it gets too big for him to han dle, but he wouldn’t think of giving his wife more help. Wouldn’t he? Try and see. Perhaps, after all, women themselves are the chief obsta cles in their own way to a square deal. “And there are few wives who, if they went to their husbands and told them that their long hours were de priving them of their health and their right to enjoy life in its best sense — there are very few who would be re fused the help that the circumstances required.” At an evening prayer meeting in a Maine village the senior deacon, Dominicus Jordan, arose to make ap propriate scriptural remarks about the death of the late Miss Simpkins. In conclusion the deacon said : “I re spected Miss Simpkins, the members of this church respected Miss Simp kins, the citizens of this town respect ed Miss Simpkins ; but now she’s dead and gone to the Lord, and the Scrip ture saith, “The Lord is no respecter of persons.’ ” A robust countryman meeting a physician ran to hide himself behind a wall. Being asked the cause, he replied, “It is so long since I have been sick, that I am ashamed to look a physician in the face.” Little Boy—lsn’t fathers queer? Auntie—ln what way? Little Boy— When a boy does anything for his pa, he doesn’t get anything,but if another man’s hoy does it he gets a nickel. ESTABLISHED 1850. THE DUTY OF HAPPIHESB. I know an old man who has had a great deal of trouble and many losses and misfortunes, but he started out in life with a firm determination to ex tract just as much real enjoyment from it as he went along as possible— not in dissipation, but in wholesome recreation and fun. He has always tried to see the humorous side of things, the bright side and the duty of happiness. The result is that, although this man has had more than his share of sorrow in his career, he has developed the inestimable faculty of making the best of every situation and of always facing the sun and turning his back to the shadows. This life habit of cheerfulness and optimism has brought out a sweetness of character and a poise and serenity of mind which are the envy of all who know blm. Although he has lost his property and the most of his family and relatives, yet he radiates sunshine and helpful ness wherever he goes. A man who can laugh outside when he is crying inside, who can smile when he feels badly, has a great ac complishment. We all love the one who believes the sun shines wnen he cannot see it. A potted rose in a window will turn its face away from the darkness toward the light. Turn it asoftenas you will, it always turns away from the darkness and lifts its face upward toward the sun. So we instinctively shrink from cold, melancholy, inky natures and turn our faces toward the bright, the cheer ful and the sunshiny. There is more virtue in one sunbeam than in a whole atmosphere of cloud and gloom. Your ability to carry your own sur shine with you, your own lubricant, your own light, so that, no matter how heavy the load or dark the way, you will be equal to the emergency, will measure your ability to continue and to achieve.— Success. THE PABABLE OF THE TALBOTS. A man traveling into a far conn try called his servants and delivered unto them the goods. And unto one he gave five talents, two another two and to another one; to every man according to his several ability, and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same in the street, and made them other five talents —on paper. And likewise he that had received two talents; he also gained other two — on paper. But he that had received one tal ent went and hid it in a safety deposit vault. After a time the lord of these ser vants cometh and reckoneth with them. And so he that had five talents came and brought his ten' paper talents, saying, "Master, I put my five talents into United Copper and Inter-Met., which straightway became all to the pazzaz, and I am wiped out.” His lord said unto him ‘ 'Thou hast been well done, thon sim ple, foolish servant.” He also had received two talents and said, "Master, here are four tal ents on paper, the which are like unto last year’s bird nest. Behold, I invested in Amalgamated and American Ice.” And his lord said unto him, "Thou, too, has been well done, thou foolish servant.” Then he which had received the one talent came and said, "Master, I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in a safety deposit vault; 10, here thou hast that is thine.” His lord answered and said nnto him, "Thou art a wise little guy, and I will take thee into the firm.” For in these days unto every one that hath shall be given, andiutoitqt in the bank is worth ten on tnA, curb. — Puck. SIMPLE ABITHMBnC. Perhaps she read the statement made by the Department of Agricul ture that the value of the eggs laid by the hens of the United States in a year would be enough to pay off the national debt, or, maybe, she “just thought it up,” but, anyway, this pretty little Baltimore girl was con vinced that she had everything all fixed. She has been engaged to a very nice young fellow for some time, but to most people the amount of his present salary would appear an in surmountable obstacle to matrimony. This was the view of her father, but when expressed she met it with a happy smile. "Oh, I have thought that all out,” she declared. "You have, eh?” papa asked, knowing something of his daughter’s business abilities. "Yes. And it was so easy,” she bubbled. "I was passing the market the other day, and I saw a dear littls polka-dotted hen for only sixty cents, and I bought her. I read in a poul try paper that a hen will raise twenty chicks a season. Well next year we’ll have twenty-two hens, and so, of course, there’ll be 420 chicks the next year, and 8400 the next, and 167,000 the next, and 3,360,000 the next. And just see what that amounts to—why, selling them at fifty cents each would give us $1,500,- 000 in five years, and that won’t be so long to wait for that much.”— Hdfc per's Weekly. A Washington physician was re cently walking on Connecticut ave nue with his 5-year-old son, when they were oliged to stop at a side street to await the passing of a funeral procession. The youngster had never seen any thing of the kind. His eyes widened. Pointing to the hearse, he asked: "Dad, what’s that?” "That, my son,” said the physi cian, with a grim smile, "is a mis taken diagnosis.” — Portland Express. This world has no love for the lover who loves only himself. What is home without a good cook ?