Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 59. WHOLE No. 2287.
Second National Bank TOWSON, Md. SAVE YOUR EARNINGS. It is always possible to save a portion of your earnings if you form an earnest desire to do so. Systematize your work of saving by starting an account with the SEC OND NATIONAL BANK of Towson. Deposit your money, and pay your bills by check. Your bank book and returned checks will make a record for you, and tell the story of your earnings.and expenses. Eventually you will learn to decrease your expenses and increase your bank account. It will be a real pleasure to have you as one of our depositors, and to help you all we can. Start with us now. -fOPPICBBSi — Thomas w. offutt, Elmer J. Cook, l vioe~Presidentß thos. j. meads, President. Harrison Rider, 1 -Oasmisr. Thomas W. offutt. W. Bernard Duke, Henry C. Lonqneoker, Elmer j. Cook, Wm. A. Lee, Z. Howard Isaao, Harrison rider, Chas. H. Knox, Noah E. Offutt, John l. Yellott, W. Gill Smith, John V. Slade. Jan. 28—ly. f&iscellattjerms. Muller & Yearley, HARNESS, TRUNKS and BAGS, 343 N. Gay Street, BALTIMORE, Md Blankets AND Robes. In addition to Regular Line we offer BIG LINE OF MILL SAMPLES AT BARQAIN PRICES. Blankets From SI.OO up. Lap Robes “ $2.00 " 4Wlt will pay you to see them. Special Induce ments to early buyers. vdvd good whip with bach pppp ■■TIME BLANKET. OoMOtMayOO ESTABLISHED 1870. MAIER’S PREPARED PAINTS ARB BTRICTLY PURE LEAD AND ZINC PAINTS. GUARANTEED EQUAL TO THE BEST. -MANUFACTURED BY- _ JOHN 6. MAIER’S SONS, 188-158 N GAY STREET, Cor Frederick Btreet, BALTIMORB, Mjd. Both Phones. I July 11—ly Geo. W. Kirwan & Co. 13 Nt CHARLES BTREET, Between Baltimore and Fayette Streets, BALTIMORB, Md„ IyBABEHDASHERS 1 4 \ SHIRT MAKERS. | SHIRTS TO MEASURE-Tbuwtment ed speoial care. All shirts are made on our own nredUses and our FIT AND FINISH have made us well known as a SHIRT HOUSE. If you havf Dot tried us, do so by ordering a Sample Sc Warners’ English Unshrinkable Underwear has been the beet for over a hundred .ears and will be for a hundred years to come. OTBOTH PHONES. [July 4-ly WILLIAM J. BIDDISON, FIRE INSURANCE AGENT. fire, Tornado and Windstorm Poli cies Jssued. NO ASSESSMENT. —RNPRNBNNTINO— HOME FIRE INSURANCE CO. OF N. Y„ Assets $20,000,000.00; GIRARD FIRE ft MARINE INSURANCE CO. OF PHILA., Assets $2,141,263.79. Offlce—Belmlr Road and Maple Avenne. Baapeburg P. 0., Baltimore County, Md. C. Sc P. and Maryland Phones. IflT A share of peonage will be appreciated. I*. A. O. McOURDY & CO., TOWSON. Md. Orders reoelved for— all kinds of slate. Peach Bottom Hoofing Slate, . Slabs for Walks, Jg Chimney Tops, aKA. VST Bnrlal Cases, Xds ™ Cemetery mbi, ' Imposing atones, Ac., Ac. 49-Call on or address as above. 0. a P. Phone—Towson 23 R. [Jnly 4—ly IJME! LIKE! LIME;! Having resumed the business of Burning Lime, we are now prepared to FURNISH IN ANY QUANTITY Whitewashing, Building and Agricul tural Lime. SHANKLIN & JENIFER, KILNS AT LOCH RAVEN, May 30-lyl BALTIMORE COUNTY, Md. J.T. KAUFFMAN & SON, Saddles, Harness, and stable supplies, Including Brambles’ Horse Foot Remedy, 408 ENSOR STREET, Oppo. No. 6 Engine House. BALTIMORE, Md. C. St P. Telephone. Dec.2By M' ONEY TO LOAN-IN SUMS TO BUIT. ROBERT H. BUSSEY. Towson, Md. Peb. io.—tf Residence CookeysviUe fflUsucelteneans. LIBITOOiIE CHEAP I At My Mill at Shawan, BALTIMORE COUNTY, Md. —AND AT My Yard at Ashland Station, N.C.R.R. BALTIMORE COUNTY, Md. 1" I}4" 2" LUMBER, $lO to sls per 1,000 feet. EfCAN CUT TO YOUR ORDER-8* Framing Lumber for Barns & Houses Also Bridge Lumber. -SHIPPING POINT— ASHLAND, BALTIMORB COUNTY, Md. Apply to H. L. CRUBE, 1009 American Building, Baltimore, Md. C. Sc P. Phone-724 St. Paul. or T. A. HANNA, Superintendent, Shawan, Baltimore county, Md. C. Sc P. Phone—Cookey 29-11. or CHARLES FREELAND, Ashland, Baltimore county, Md. C. Sc P. Phone—Cookey 85-R. |UnTC . lam in market for a TIMBER IYW IL . TRACT of white oak, CHESTNUT, *c., Ac., 100 TO 600 ACRES. Sept. 12—3 m FRANK I. WHEELER. WILLIAM P. COLE. WHEELER - & COLE, Successors to Offutt, Emmart Sc Wheeler, FIRE INSURANCE AGENTS, OFFUTT BUILDING, TOWSON, Md. Telephone—C. ft P., Towson 138. German-American Ins. Co., N. Continental Ins. Co.; Home Ins. Co. of N. Y.: Hartford Ins. Co. of Hartford, Conn.; Pennsylvania Fire Ins. Co. of Philadelphia; St. Paul Fire and Marine Ina. Co.; London and Lancashire Ins. Co.; Orient of Hartford, Conn.: Dixie, of Greensboro, N. C.; Fire Association, of Philadelphia; Royal, of Liv erpool; North State, of Greensboro, N. C.; West ern, of Pittsburg; Spring Garden, of Philadel phia; Niagara, of N. i.j .Etna, of Hartford, Conn.; Norfolk, Norfolk, Va. Representing as we do the above named flrst olass Fire Insurance Companies and an agency of twenty-five years’standing, that has so long enjoyed the confidence of the public,we respect fully solicit of the people of Baltimore county a continuation of their patronage. Oct. 24—ly] WHEELER ft COLE. BDWARD E. BURNS. FRANK BURNS. JOHN BURNS’ SONS, Funeral $ Directors, TOWSON, Md, C. & P. Phone-TOWSON, 77-F. Mch 7—ly ROBERT CLARK. A. W. CLARK. LUTHERVILLE STEAM * LAUNDRY, ROBERT CLARK & SON, Prop'rs. NEWLY FITTED THROUGHOUT AND NOW READY FOR BUSINEBS. Good Work and Moderate Charges. Public patronage respectfully solicited. GOODS CALLED FOR AND DELIVERED. C. ft P. Phone. Mch 7—ly JOHN TYRIE, —STEAM— MARBLE & GRANITE WORKS, OOCKEYBVILLK, Md. -ALL KINDS OF MARBLE A GRANITE MONUMENTS A SPECIALTY. No oharge made for showing designs either at the works or elsewhere. JAMBS B. DUNPHY. Aoint, Towbon, Md. Bept. 26—lv W. O. B. WRIGHT, Baldwin P. 0., Baltimore Connty, Md., Real Estate and Collection Agency —AND— JUSTICE OF THE PEACE. Director and Agent of the Harford Mutual Fire Insnrance Company. BUT AWT) SELL REAL ESTATE. If you want to buy country property, or wish to sell, see me. I can help you either wav. EF” Prompt attention given to the collection of claims. Residence—NKAß FORK. [June 13—ly ESTABLISHED 1876. BOTH PHONES. DANIEL~ RIDER, 1001 GREENMOUNT AVENUE, BALTIMORE, Md., COMMISSION * MERCHANT For the Sale of Hay, Grain and Straw. Orders for Mill Feed, Gluten Feed, Cotton Seed Meal, Oil Cake Meat. Salt, ftc., will receive prompt attention. [Apl. 4—ly PIANOS tuned In Any Part of the County. Address, JOSEPH A. NEUMAYER, Raspeburg, R. F. D., Md. C. ft P. Tel.—Hamilton 4-k. [Sept.26-ly Fob “Thk Union.’’ A DREAM. . I slept and dreamed a wondrous dream Of beauty, strength and power; No wrong was seen In all the world In that one peaceful hour. And why was it that no one did A single evil thing ? Each one was master of himself, Of his own actions—king. The power was given to perform I What e’er was undertaken ; And so no half-completed task Had e’er to be forsaken. And those poor children of the mind, Conceived, but never bom. The plans that fail, thoughts unexpressed Whose early death we mourn. Developed all their beauty there And grew as we had planned; And so, all efforts understood, Each was the other’s friend. But then I woke from this fair dream. And vanished was that peace, i The joy of understanding and Accomplishment had ceased. Our best efforts are fruitless, we Accomplish not our end; Our acts are all misunderstood. We know not who’s our friend. Of tender words we wish to speak, Ofnoble*tta oiurh ts* we wouM express We accomplish but few: And only in the future, We’ve reached that heavenly land, Shall this fair dream be realized And things be as we’ve planned. HOW “CB0PH0BH” HELD THE PASS. Nobody knows “Crophorn’s” ex act age, but she certainly is too vener able to be of no use on a dairy farm, and her breed is as uncertain as her years; but any suggestion that she be transformed into beef always meets with a decided negative from Tom Ottway. “She’s the mascot of the herd,” is all her owner usually will say in ex planation of her privileges ; but some times, when in a more communicative mood, he will tell how she lost her right horn and earned her present name. It was nearly a dozen years ago, and Crophorn was then known as Dapple. Date in one of the hard est winters the peninsula of Northern Michigan has ever known she proud ly stood guard over a spindle-legged calf only a few days old. Tom Ottway was not yet married, and had recently bought the valley farm, on which only four fields were fully cleared. His widowed mother kept house for him, but had been ab sent for more than a fortnight, visit ing a sister in Canada. She had ex pected to be away not more than a week, but was detained by a severe February storm. The back country then could be reached only by stage or in private conveyances. Tom was very busy while she was gone. In addition to feeding the six teen head of cattle, the pigs, poultry and three horses, and getting his own meals, he spent every spare moment in felling trees in the south slashing. He wished to clear at least five acres before the sap started, so as to burn the tract over early in the summer. As the result of his hard work, Tom ordinarily sUpt wall, but o£ late his nights had been disturbed by the presence of wolves. There were many big gray ones about, but while game was abundant they caused him little anxiety. Now, however, the deep snow had lessened their ordinary supply of food, and they were drawing nearer and nearer to the settled coun try. Tom had no neighbors within three miles, and his clearing was one of the most exposed in the county. For nearly a week he had heard a pack in full cry not far from the open fields, and then, as their tracks show ed, they had made a dash at the cat tle yard. The high log fence had re pelled them, although in one place they had made repeated efforts to jump over. This yard was roofed over at the west end, and the shed thus formed was boarded up, except for a narrow gate next to the barn. Astrawstack near the centre afforded additional shelter, the sides having been eaten away by the young stock till they could burrow practically out of sight. Here they gathered to sleep at night, although the shed was usually open. The small barn was a strong but temporary structure, only large enough to shelter the horses and farm implements. The combined pigpen and henhouse was of logs, built as a lean to, on the south side of the barn. On the day following the first ac tual visit of the wolves, a “sou’west er” gathered itself together some where over Take Michigan, and came shrieking across water, field and for est, bringing eighteen inches more of snow. This fresh snow was rath er heavy, but not damp enough to prevent it from drifting in hard wind rows. The backwoods roads were thus rendered again impassable. Tom heard the bunting cry of the pack even above the bowling of the storm ; and in going to the slashing, he found a skull and thigh bones where a belated deer had been pulled down I and devoured. Most of its surviving companions bad gone far to the south ward long before. i When he started for the house at sunset he saw two wolves sitting on their haunches on a knoll thirty or forty rods away, watching him. He pointed his ax-helve at them, like a gun, and they slunk off into the i timber; but when he reached the barn, he discovered that five lean creatures had followed him to the lim i its of the underbrush. Tom made every thing snug for the night before attending to his own ( wants. The cattle were a little un ‘ easy ; they had already detected the 1 presence of the pack. The stout fence seemed impregnable, but there was a . great drift at the southeast corner that ran up to within a yard of the topmost log. The young man re gretted that he had not taken the "time to dig it away that afternoon, . and resolved to come out after supper and cut a trench next to the fence. Darkness came on while the meal was being prepared, and as he was ; eating, he heard a howl just below the barn. Going to a window, he saw a succession of dim forms scur- I rying across the snow round the end • of the cattle yard. Hastily securing his repeating rifle and cartridge belt be hurried across to the yard, where he hung a lighted lantern on the in side next to the barn. He then climb r ed over and went a few paces below TOWSON, MD., SATURD the stack. He had arrived not a mo ment too soon. The pack ranged along the farther fence, leaping and snapping. The cattle started ffem about the stack and ran to the opposite side of ths en closure, as far away from their ene mies as they could get. All were frightened, but two of the steers paw ed the litter and showed symptoms of a willingness to fight. There seemed to lie about a dozen wolves outside. Dapple and her calf were inside the shed, the gate of which Tom had closed that evening to keep the other cattle from them. It now occurred to him that the herd might be safest with them, as he could guard the opening over the gate with his rifle. The pack, foiled in their efforts to reach the cattle by jumping over the fence on the north side, now started to circle the end of yard— *Tot ran and opened the shed gate, hoping the steers would lead the way inside, ; but instead, they hurried behind the stack. At this instant the wolves found the big drift and ran upon it. Their leader lifted his forefoot to the top log, and was upon the point of leap ing into the yard, when Tom took aim at his side, and fired. The beast sank down across the fence and struggled for a moment, till his body slid forward to the tram pled ground below. At the sound of the gun the cattle began to bellow, and at last bolted for the gate. Tom fired again as two more of the wolves showed their heads, but the next in stant was enclosed by the stampeded herd, and now had to run for his life. He was in the corner by the barn and could not dodge past them. He sprang through the gate, and was turning to the left, when one of the steers, blind with terror, plunged headlong against him, hurling him against a post that supported the slab roof. His thick cap prevented his 1 skull from being fractured, but the force of the blow was so great that he sank down unconscious, across his rifle, at the foot of the post. For a minute thereafter the cattle were jammed in the gateway; then they forced their way inside and crowded to the farthest corner, each fighting to get into the midst of the struggling mass. Dapple had been lying beside her calf, back of the post against which Tom had come to grief. This pro tected her from being trampled upon, and kept the little creature safe. As the stampede passed her, she leaped to her feet like a dear, and, determin ed to protect her calf at all hazards, rushed to the open gateway. Ten of the wolves were now in the cattle yard. Their leader was dead, and the smell of this man place was very disquieting. But hunger soon overcame their suspicions. As they gathered themselves to gether for a concerted rush, Tom’s wits slowly returned to him, and he sat upright, half-dazed. The outcry of the wolves recalled him to a partial realization of the situation. Twice the wolves encircled the stack, searching in vain for stragglers. Then they saw Dapple, and rushed straight at her. The cow stood so that only her head and neck projected beyond the side posts. The first wolf that came was caught on her horns and hurled backward upon its fellows; the next and the next followed suit. So fierce was the cow’s defence that the pack then sheered off, and ran, yapping and leaping, along the shed. Then the calf bawled in fear, and its mother drew back inside the gate. On the instant the wolves returned, and she dashed cut to meet them. A wiry old she wolf sprang directly up on her head. Dapple threw her down and drove one sharp horn through her chest, inflicting a mortal wound. But the limp body held her nose to the ground, and she charged fairly outside of the gate, when two more wolves leaped upon her shoul ders. She was borne down till Tom could see nothing but a snarl of struggling animals. Then with a mighty effort she broke the horn short off in the she wolf’s carcass, and with the same im pulse freed herself of the others. But she was bleeding from a dozen wounds and sadly crippled by the loss of the horn. The pack was upon her again in an instant, and but for prompt aid she must have perished. Tom was now roused and clear headed. He sprang forward and fired among the wolves, the muzzle of the weapon being held so close to them that the flash actually scorched their hair. Three times the rifle rang out, and then the survivors ran away and skulked in the farther end of the en closure, where they could hardly be seen in the darkness. Dapple was so aroused that she was almost inclined to fight her rescurer, but finally hurried to the side of her calf. The little creature, frightened by the smell of blood, kept as far from her as possible. Tom closed the gate, refilled the magazine of his rifle, and walked to where the lantern was hanging. The trapped wolves could not es cape. Turning the light upon them, he fired until the last one was dead. They made not the slightest effort to attack him. He did what he could for Dapple’s injuries, but her wounds caused a fever that dried up her milk, and the promising calf was stunted, although its owner succeeded in keeping it alive. The other cattle were so afraid of the wolves’ bodies that although he skinned and removed them the next day, the herd could not be in duced to leave the shed till driven to do so by thirst. Another pack crossed the clearing the next night, but did not venture near the buildings. The money re ceived from bounties and the sale of the peltries more than paid all dam ages, although Dapple—or Crophorn, as she was henceforth called —was ruined, except as an example of bo vine courage and fidelity.— Youth's Companion. AT, NOVEMBER 7. 1908. A LITTLE BBBMOH OH BAVIHG. Most young men are ambitious and sensible enough to want to have some money laid by for future emergencies, but a great many of them find the savings of small sums so tedious and discouraging that they either never begin to save, or having begun, do not keep it up for any length of time. They would like to be rich, but they want to get rich quick. Nobody wants to transform our young men into money-grubbing misers whose thoughts never rise above scraping and saving. The miser is about the nnlovliest specimen of human kind it i$ possible to imagine. But there is a golden mean between the miser and the spendthrift, and young people should try to attain it. Here is some excellent advice in this connection JtO JJJ tbo £s***aagre J/Mt-tr+s/tl • No matter how little it may be, make a start to save. Begin to live : on less than you make ; begin to put by the capital which will one day mean fieedom and opportunity. We do not advise the saving of money merely for the foolish gratifi cation of spending it. That would not be worth while. We urge you to save now that you may be spared the humiliation of slavish dependence later on. We advise you to save, above all, that you may be able to seize an opportunity, should one pre sent itself. Many of the world’s brightest men are wasted because they lack the little ready money that would let them car ry out their ideas. Great inventions have been lost to the world for lack of a very little moiev. Some of the world’s greatest spints have lived miserably and died in despair because they could never learn to keep the money that came to them. When you do get a little money to gether, put it in the bank. Don’t buy anybody’s watered stock. Let no trust mining scheme or other large hearted swindle lure you. If those things ever do pay, they shake out the little men first. Get enough money to free you from worry, and don’t let anybody get it away from you. Don’t put it into any scheme. Let it simply ena ble you to change your employment, if you see a better chance. Let it make you secure against poverty in old age. Don’t give up your little certainty. If it comes very slowly, let it go even more slowly. Begin now to save. Be one of those that are free, that have something. You will never know what real in dependence is until you are indepen dent of any man’s pocket-book save your own. We are exhorted by Christ to lay up onr CTetKIUICa in besren, and if we fail to do this—the most impor tant duty of all —all our saving, all our scheming and planning, all our posessions or earthly riches, are of no avail. But our nature is two fold. Our life on earth has two sides, and the laying up of treasures in heaven does not preclude the wise forethought and thrift which bids us lay up some of this world’s treasure for a rainy day. To be occupied altogether with worldly interests and affairs, to have one’s thoughts continually on the dol lar, or the dime, or the nickel, all this is disastrous to our higher nature and our eternal welfare. But we owe a duty to ourselves and our neighbors in the matter of saving our money. It should be the desire of each and every one of us to be so situated that we may not, when mis fortune comes, be a burden to anyone. And the only way for the most of us to accomplish this is to get into the habit of saving a little when we are young. This means self-denial, of course. It means the loss of a repu tation for being a good fellow. But it means a help toward the build ing up of a reliable character. It means being in a position, later on in life, to help others. The spendthrift is no good to him self or anyone else when the hour of trouble comes. He can neither help himself out of a hard place nor have the satisfaction of helping another who may happen to be in straitened circumstances. He must look help lessly on when some one whom he loves very much, perhaps, is in sore need of assistence. He is compelled to see his children take inferior posi tions in the world because he has nev er had the ambition or the strength of character to save his money for their sakes. All this is very hard and humilia ting to a man of generous impulses, and all this waits in the future for al most every spendthrift, and can be avoided by the young people of today only by acquiring the habit of saving their money. A colored woman of Alexandria, Va., was on trial before a magistrate of that town charged with inhuman treatment of her offspring. Evidence was clear that the woman had severely beaten the youngster, aged some nine years, who was in court to exhibit his battered condition. Before imposing sentence, his hon or asked the woman whether she had anything to say. “Kin I ask yo’ honah a question ?” inquired the prisoner. The judge nodded affirmatively. “Well, then, yo’ honah, I’d like to ask yo’ whether yo’ was ever the pa rient of a puffectly wuthless cullud chile.” _____ A POET what has been known to tell the truth recounts this story of his little daughter. Her mother overheard her expound ing the origin of sex to her family of dolls. “You see, children,’’ she said. “Adam was a man all aldbe and was very lonely, so God put him to sleep, took his brains out, and made a nice lady of them.*’ Actions speak louder than words. They have to in order to be heard above the boasting. DO IT HOW. “Never do today what can be put off until tomorrow,” is a bad maxim for a young man to adopt if he wants to succeed. Time is precious. Promptness is a recommendation. Today is the only time we have. “Do it now” should therefore be our motto. Note the sublime precision that leads the earth over a circuit of 500,- 000,000 miles back to the solstice at the appointed moment without the loss of one second —no, not the mil lionth part of a second —for ages and ages of which it traveled that impe rial road. — Edward Everett. Dispatch is the soul of business. — Chesterfield. Unfaithfulness in the keeping of an appointment is an act of clear dis honesty. You may as well borrow a puiaUll‘s Ilium j lifa —iluiL.” '/YVfWT Mann. By the street of by and by one ar rives at the house of never.—Cervan tes. The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.— H. W\ Shaw. “Oh, how I do appreciate a boy who is always on time I” says H. C. Bowen. “How quickly you learn to depend on him, and how soon you find yourself intrusting him with weightier matters! The boy who has acquired a reputation for punctu ality has made the first contribution to the capital that in after years makes his success a certainty.” “Nothing commends a young man so much to his employers,” says John Stuart Blackie, “as accuracy and punctuality in the conduct of his bus iness. And no wonder. On each man’s exactitude depends the com fortable and easy going of his machine. If the clock goes fitfully, nobody knows the time of day ; and, if your task is a link in the chain of another man’s work, you are his clock, and he ought to be able to rely on you.” “The whole period of youth,” said Ruskin, “is one essentially ot forma tion, edification, instruction. There is not an hour of it but is trembling with destinies —not a moment of which, once passed, the appointed work can never be done again, or the neglected blow struck on the cold iron.” “Tomorrow didst thou say ?” ask ed Cotton. “Goto—l will not hear of it. Tomorrow ! It is a sharper who stakes his penny against thy plenty — who takes thy ready cash and pays thee naught but wishes, hopes and promises, the currency of idiots. To morrow ! it is a period nowhere to be found ip all the hoary registers of time, unless perchance in the fool’s calendar. Wisdom disclaims the word, nor holds society with those ut own it ’Tis fancy’s child, and folly is its father; wrought of such stuff as dreams are; and baseless as the fantastic visions of the evening.” Oh, how many a wreck on the road to success could say : "I have spent all my life in the pursuit of tomorrow, being assured that tomorrow, has some vast benefit dr other in store for me.” “I give it as my deliberate and sol emn conviction,” said Dr. Fitch, ‘‘that the individual who is tardy in meet ing an appointment will never be re spected or successful in life.” “If a man has no regard for the time of other men,” said Horace Greeley, “why should he have for their money ? There are many men, to whom each hour of the business day is worth more than five dollars.” A man who keeps his time will keep his word; in truth, he cannot keep his word unless he does keep his time. When the Duchess of Southerland came late, keeping .he court waiting, the queen, who was always vexed by tardiness, presented her with her own watch, saying, “I am afraid your’s does not keep good time.” “Then you must get a new watch, or I another secretary, ’ ’ replied Wash ington, when his secretary excused the lateness of his attendance by say ing that his watch was too slow. “I have generally found that a man who is good at an excuse is good for nothing else,” said Franklin to a ser vant who was always late, but always ready with an excuse. "WHO LAUGHS LAST,” ETC. There is never a time for the harsh, grating laugh that finds amusement in the mistakes of another. The Detroit Free Press, admonishing a man in that town who is disposed to laugh at the errors of his acquaintences, writes: He is a very well educated man, too, and is especially good in the lan guages. Not long ago he was talking to a mild-mannered little woman who had asked him a question about a French sentence. He asked her to repeat it. She did so. “Ha, ha !” he laughed. “Ha, ha I haw, haw, haw I” And the little woman blushed. “What is it?” she asked, much em barrassed. “Haw, haw! I—haw, haw—was laughing—at your very bad —haw, haw —pronunciation —haw, haw —’ ’ “Haw, haw, haw!” she interrupted suddenly. “Haw, haw! ha, ha, ha, ha!” And she kept it up as loud as she could until he began to get red in the face and feel embarrassed. “What is it ? ” he exclaimed when she gave him the chance. “Haw, haw!” she responded up roariously. “I was laughing—haw, haw —at your very bad —haw, haw — manners —haw. haw! Good morn ing.” And she turned her back on him and hasn’t spoken to him since. “Will you buy me a drum, drand mamma?” “No, dear ; you would disturb me with the noise.” “No, I wouldn’t, granny; I’d only play it when you’re asleep.” “Well, my little man,” inquired a visitor pleasantly, “who are you?” “I’m the baby’s brother !” was the ingenuous reply. Fob “Thk Union." WHAT IS LIFXt BV HENRY QUARLES NICHOLSON. What Is life ? Childhood thus replied: Life is the highway angels tread. To guard my wandering steps and shed. In dreams, their radiance round my bead; Life is an endless day of summertide. What is life ? Toutb, bouyant, made reply: It is a limitless domain. Whence springs Ambition, Honor, Fame, My aspirations long to claim ; Life is to me a bright, unclouded sky. What is life ? Manhood, staid, replied: It is Time's Cycle, in whose span Encompassed are the hopes of man; For Love, Wealth, Happiness we plan ; Life is a toil for rest at eventide. What is Life ? Old age, tott’ring, sighed: It is a dreary, desert waste, Whose paths awhile we blindly trace, And o’er their blighted surface haste; Life is a dream of Hopes that, with’rlng, died. KEEPING CHILDREN OB THE FARM. Every farmer should do all possible to keep control of his sons and daugh ters as long as possible. The prob lem or cue cinHrh.li n-uviu 6 amn is one that is more far-reaching than most people realize. It is not possible to keep all the boys and girls on the farm, for the very simple reason that there is not an opportunity on the farm for all of them to make a good living. Every boy and every girl has an ambition to at least make a good liv ing, and they are to be credited for the ambition. If it were possible for each one to have an opportunity to make that kind of a living on the farm we would hear less about children leaving the farm for the city. But under the conditions as they now are, the surplus of the boys and girls will continue to leave the farms, and the best the farmer can do is to supervise their emigrations. Many country parents are woefully ignorant of the conditions that sur round their sons and daughters when they go into the cities. If it were not for this ignorance, almost no parents would permit their daughters to go into the hotels in the small or large towns as waitresses and chamber maids. When the daughter of a farmer leaves home, it should be the busi ness of the father and mother to know all about the employment into which they are to enter, and to know as much as possible about the conditions that surround it. For the girl that leaves the farm home, one of the very undesirable employments is that of waitress in a city restaurant. Her parents should keep her out of this if possible. There are practically no safe em ployments away from home, especial ly for girls that go to a great city. Probably the safest of all is that of servant in a home, but this is not a kind of service that appeals to the American farm girl. The parents of the farm girl bent on leaving her home for employment in the city should be suspicious of all ad vertisements appearing in city daily papers. Many of these anvertise ments are all right, but some of them are all wrong, and this is not gener ally the fault of the publishers. Many innocent-looking advertise ments are published that really con ceal traps that are carefully hidden. An advertisement that promises an easy life and good pay to girls should be looked upon with suspicion always, as there are no desirable positions of this kind begging for takers. The farmer’s son, if well-inten tioned, can go to the city and find few traps waiting for him. But even in the case of the son, the help and care of the parents should be given till the boy is well started on some career. A little help and a little supervision will often go a long way toward keeping the newly-made freeman in the right path. — Agricultural Epitomist. HE WON HIS CASE. Charles O’Conor and James W. Gerard were once opposed to each other in an important trial in New York. When Mr. O’Conor produced his first witness Mr. Gerard said: “Mr. O’Conor, what do you propose to show by this witness?” Mr. O’Conor told what he wished to prove. “It is useless to waste the time of the court and jury in proving that,” said the other ; “I admit it.” Mr. O’Conor then called his next witness, and the same question and answer were repeated. “ladmitit,” said Mr. Gerard; “don’t let us waste time.” Another witness began, and Mr. Gerard interrupted : “I ad mit all you say you are going to prove. Let us hurry along.” With a rapidity which took O’Conor’s breath away all the facts which he had accumulated were ac cepted wholesale. Then he rested his case, and Gerard, for the defense, called no witnesses, but at once began his address to the jury. “Gentlemen of the jury,” said he, “some of you know me personally. I have no doubt those of you who are uot personally acquainted with me know me by reputation. Now, gen tlemen, you know that if my client had been guilty of any fraud,l should be the last man on earth to admit it. I should hide it from you. I should cover it up. I should fight, fight—and I know how to fight—against the proof of its getting in evidence. If my client had been guitly of fraud, do you think I would admit it ? No ! no ! Never! never! never I” Here he looked at his watch. “Gentlemen, excuse my brevity. I have an en gagement to dine to-day, and my time is almost up; I will detain you no longer.” He won his case. Farmer (to medical man) —If you get out my way any time, doctor, ’ I wish you’d stop and see my wife. I think she ain’t feelin’ well. Doc tor—What makes you think so? Farmer—Well, this mornin’ after she had milked the cows, and fed the pigs, i an’ got breakfast for the men, an’ built a fire under the copper in the ’ wash ’ouse, an’ done a few odd jobs about the house, she complained o’ feelin’ tired-like. I fancy she needs a dose o’ medicine. The average woman is a good act ress off the stage. ESTABLISHED 1850. HIS LUCK. “Madam,” began the man with the red nose to the farmer’s wife, “you see before you a learned man in hard luck. In fact, lam one of the world’s greatest linguists.” “Is it painful?” she sympathetical ly asked. “You don’t understand, madam. A linguist is one who can talk the languages. Now, I can converse with you in Latin. I can tell you the sad story of my life in Greek. I can go to the lecture platform and lecture in any language known to man.” “Dew tell I” she gasped. “Yes, madam; all the languages are spoken fluently by me. Were you German I would talk German with you ; were you French we would converse in the language of that think from my talk that I was a na tive of the land of the dons.” “I want tew know ! Mebbe you’d jest as soon ask fur a piece of pie in Latin ?” * ‘ Certainly, madam —E pluribus un ion semper idem de pumpkin.” “Waal, the ideal” exclaimed the amazed farmer’s wife. “An’ how does the French language sound?” “Beautiful, madam. When I say in French, ‘Parie yous rouget noirou sausage?’ I mean, ‘lsn’t it a lovely day?’ ” “Good lands!” “The same sentence in German would be ‘Ach, budweiser und der klempstein is oudt.’ ” “Waal, waal, waal! HoW sura folks dew run tew smartness I Will ye take dinner with us?” “Certainly, madam.” “It’s real kind of ye to be so oblig in’. My son will be hum from col lege any minit, an’ he writes that he knows all them languages. You an’ him can talk ’em all over an’ let pa an’ me listen to ye. Would ye like to step over to the wash house an’ wash up fur dinner ? It’s all ready.” The great “linguist” heaved a heavy sigh, muttered something about fool sons being around when they were not wanted and started in the direction of the wash house. But he did not return. — Bohemian. MALLARDS In"a FARMYARD. Among the odd things to be found within hailing distance of Wago Man sion is a flock of mallard ducks —the real mallards, such as are pictured on posters and in game journals—at peace and contentment among the other ducks belonging to J. Franklin Trow bridge, of this place. Strangers would at a cursory glance scarcely see anything unusual in their appearance, but there is a vast differ ence between the mallards and the domestic variety. There is a differ ence in size, in color and in carriage. Several years ago Mr. Trowbridge secured some wild duck eggs and had an old hen hatch them out. The eggs were found along the Illinois River, where it is a common thing to raise mallards at home and use them as decoys for other wild ducks. As stated, Mr. Trowbridge got them batched, and now he has the third or fourth generation of mallard ducks. They wabble about the premises as sedately as the home ducks. In fact, the mallards appear to be thoroughly at home in the Trowbridge yard, and they seem content, too. From the first Mr. Trowbridge has kept their wings clipped, and even at that some times, when a flock of wild duck comegup from the river, the Trow bridge mallards hear the call of the. wild quack and squeak and flutter and carry on at a great rate, eager to join the throng in the air. Except for these occasions the domesticated mallards remain “pert” and act as any sane, good, old York county duck wouid do. — York (Pa.) Gazette. THE COMING DOWN. It was an open-air meeting on the public square in the evening. There was a large and enthusiastic crowd present, and the principal speaker of the evening was ready to make the ef fort of his life. He did make it. He showed that the opposition party had ruined America thirty-six times in the last 100 years, and that on thirty-six different occasions his party had step ped in and gathered up the remains and made a new goddess of liberty of them. He made scores of statements. He backed them up with statistics taken from the family almanac. He roared. He orated. He stood on his hind legs. He sawed the air and pitied the poor millionaire. He sawed it some more and promised every laboring man a house and lot. Then, amidst such an outburst of enthusiasm as scared hens off the roost three miles away and woke up infants to cry with colic, he closed and stood with folded arms. A thousand men rushed to shake hands and congratu late him. A hump-shouldered man led them, and rammed and jammed and elbowed until he stood beside the proud orator. Then he held out a toil-hardened hand, and said : “Say, mister, that was a darned good speech of yours, but you didn’t say whether the price of turnips was goin’ to be up or down this fall. I’ve got a load out here, and I’d like to know.” And then we all went home. When a man goes out to buy a col lar he comes back vWth a collar and perhaps a necktie or two. When a woman starts out to buy a collar she returns exhausted with a new silk waist, a pair of gloves, some skirt binding, a cake of soap, a paper of pins, some window curtains, a sewing machine and a refrigerator. Yeast— “ You know the good book says you must love your neighbors.” “Crimsonbeak—“Yes, but that was written before the days of phonographs and lawn mowers you know.” At least Eve had the satisfaction of knowing she was the only girl in the world.