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VOL. 60. WHOLE No. 2304.
Second National Bank TOWSON, Md. BOXES BOXES SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES AT THE SECOND NATIONAL BANK OF TOWSON, 00.00 PUR YEAR, FOR YOUR VALUABLES. BOXES BOXES -lOPPICERSI THOMAB W. OFFUTT, ELMER J. COOK, l VIOE*PREBIOENTB THOB. J. MEADS, PRESIDENT. H ARRIBON RIDER, < CASHIER. THOMAB W. OFFUTT. W. BERNARD DUKE, HENRY C. LONGNECKER, Elmer J. Cook, Wm. a. Lee, Z. Howard Isaao, Harrison Rider, Chas. H. Knox, Noah E. Offutt. JOHN I. YELLOTT, W. GILL SMITH, JOHN V. SLADE. Feb. B—ly THE COMMERCIAL BANK OF MARYLAND BELVEDERE AVENUE, Near Reisterstown Road, ARLINGTON, Md. . .-a— —. CAPITAL STOCK, $25,000. —o —.—* 3STOW OPEIST FOE BTTSX3STESS. ■——o —— Does a general Banking Bqslness In all that is consistent with safe and careful man agement. The location of oar Bank makes It the most convenient place for a large number of residents of Baltimore county to transact their financial business. Daring the short time onr Bank has been open for business the amount of deposits has reached a success far In excess of our expectations. We have a SAVINGS DKPABTMENT and pay Interest on money deposited there. Call and see ns and we will explain why It will be to yonr advantage to open an account with ns. Prompt attention given to all collection business entrusted to ns. *—— o——■0 ——■ —OFFICERS: — CHAB. T. COCKEY, Jr., JOHN K. CULVER, Ist Vice-President. CHARLES E. SMITH, President. HOWARD E. JACKSON, 2d Vice-President. Cashier. —^DIRECTORS: CHARLEB T. COCKEY, Jr., HOWARD E. JACKSON, ROBERT H. McMANNS, ARTHUR r. NICHOLSON, J. B. WAILKB, MAX ROSEN, JOHN K. CULVER, GEORGE W. ALT, H. D. HAMMOND, J. FRANK SHIPLEY, H. D. EASTMAN. Dec. 26—ly stocfe Mat ms. IfWlili Oakleigh Station, Md. & Pa. R. R., tX Miles from Towson. Constantly on hand A LARGE STOCK OF MULES, TO SUIT ALL PURPOSES. —also— •' **■ Coach, Driving, : TTHTI fITUI Saddle and : lln \ r \ General Purpose UUIIUIIU FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE. WHORBEBBOARDED^ C. & P. TELEPHONE. DUANE H.IUOE, Prop’r, TOWSON, Md. OctJß4—lt GROVE FARM FALLS ROAD, North of Brooklandvllle, Md. PRIZE WINNING— Guernsey Cattle, Berkshire Hogs, Shropshire Sheep. FOB SALE— A Few Registered Heifers, Between 4 months and 2 years old Apply to JAB. McK. MERRY MAN, R. F. D. Lutherville. Md. C. A P. Telephone—Towson 43. Oct. 24—ly Ralph W. Rider, Livery, Sales and Exchange STABLES, WEBT CHESAPEAKE AVENUE, Near the York Road, TOWSON, Md. First-Class Teams and Automobiles -FOR HIRE.— GOOD SERVICE and REASONABLE PRICES. Dec. 12—3 m Dr. A. 0. McOURDY & CO., TOWSON. Md. Orders received for— ALL KINDS OF SLATE. Peach Bottom Roofing Slate, w ( w Slabs for Walks, v l w Chimney Tops, W Burial Casas, • Cemetery Stßbs, Imposing Stones, Ac., Ac. 49-Call on or address as above. C. A P. Phone—Towson 23 R. [July 4—:ly ESTABLISHED 1876. BOTH PHONES. DANIEL RIDER, 100 l GREENMOUNT AVENUE, BALTIMORE, Md., COMMISSION * MERCHANT Tor the Sale of Hay, Grain and Straw. Orders for Mill Feed, Gluten Feed. Cotton Seed Meal, Oil Cake Meat, Salt, ao., will receive prompt attention. [ApL 4—ly ¥7SCOTT PAYNE CO7 OF BALTIMORE CITY, HARDWARE, 362 and 364 N. Gay Street, Baltimore, Md. Bar Iron and Steel, Springs. Axles, Wheels and Spokes, Horse-Shoers’ Supplies, Carriage and Builders’ Hardware. A. C. DIETRICH, Treasurer and Manager. Phones. [Jan. 30—ly J. MAURICE WATKINS L SON; —DEALERS IE — Staple, Fancy & Green Groceries Fruits in season. Fresh and Salt Meats. Full line of Tobaocos, Foreign and Domestic Cigars, ao. Sept 12—ly TOWSON. Md. Money to loan-in sums to suit. ROBERT H. BUSSEY. _ . Towson, Md. Feb. 10.—tf Residence Cockeysville. pitßcellaneottß. MULLER & YEARLEY, HARNESS, THUNKS and BARS, 343 N. Gay Street, BALTIMORE, Md. HI mti HIB Collars, Names, Chains, Etc. STABLE SUPPLIES. 49-Special prices to readers of this Write for Catalogue. BLANKETS COST. ESTABLISHED 1870. MAIER’S PBEFABED PAINTS ABB STRICTLY PURE LEAD AND ZINC PAINTS. GUARANTEED EQUAL TO THE BEST. -MANUFACTURED BY JOIIN G. MAIER’S SONS, 153-155 N GAY STREET, Cor Frederick Street, BALTIMORB, Md. Both Phones. I July 11—ly Geo. W. Kirwan & Co. 13 N. CHARLES STREET, Between Baltimore and Fayette Streets, BALTIMORB, Md„ -I HABERDASHERS I SHIRT MAKERS. SHIRTS TO MEASURE— This department has always receiv ed special care. All shirts are made on our own premises and our FIT AND FINISH have made us well known as a SHIRT HOUSE. If you have not tried us, do so by ordering a Sample Shirt. Cartwright & Warners’ English Unshrinkable Underwear has been the best for over a hundred years and will be for a hundred years to come. BTBOTH PHONES. [July 4-ly WM. J. BIDDISON, FIRE INSURANCE ACENT Fire, Tornado and Windstorm Poli cies Jlssued. NO ASSESSMENT. —REPRESENTING— HOME FIRE INSURANCE CO. OF N. Y„ Assets $20,000,000.00: GIRARD FIRE & MARINE INSURANCE CO. OF PHILA., Assets $2,141,268.79. Office—Belalr Road and Maple Avenue. Raapebnrg P. 0., Baltimore County, Md. j C. & P. and Maryland Phones. 10"A share of patronage will be appreciated. Jan. 2—ly $7.500 TO On first mortgages on real estate. In sums of SI,OOO and upwards. Apply to JAMES KELLEY, Attorney at Law, Towson, Md. July 28 -tf A TOUGH CUSTOMER. Let me tell you a tale that was once told to me. And although it was told me in prose at the time I will give it a metrical dressing, and see If the story will lose any reason by rhyme. There came to a store in a village one day A long and lank stranger In homespun ar- And, “sood mornin’,” said he, in a different way, “I’ve just come to town fora bit of a trade.” Theproprietor nodded and cheerily spoke, “Well, what can I do for you. neighbor, and how ?” “Wal. one of my wife’s knittin’ needles ez broke. An’ she wants me to git one—how much be they now?” “They’re two cents apiece.” “Wal, say, Mister, look ’ere; I’ve got a fresh egg. an' my wife sez to me, ‘Bwap the egg for the needle.’ It seems a bit queer. But the thing’s about even—lt’s a big ’un yer see." Said the storekeeper presently, "Well, I don’t mind.” He laid down the neodle and put the egg by- When the countryman blurted out, “Ain’t yer inclined To treat a new customer ?—fact is, I’m drv.” Though staggered a little, it must be confessed, By the “customer” coming It rather too free. Yet, smilingly granting the modest request. The dealer responded, "Well, what shall It be?” “Wal, a drop of Madairy I reckon ’ul pass; Iv’e bln used ter thet, see, ever since I was born.” The storekeeper handed a bottle and glass. And his customer poured out a generous horn. For a moment he eyed the gratuitous dram With the eye of a man who must something resign. Then blandly remarked, “Do you know that I am Very partial to mixing an egg in my wine ?’’ “Oh, well, let us finish this matter, I beg; You’re very particular, though, I must say”— The storekeeper muttered, and handed an egg— The identical one he had taken in pay. On the rtm of the tumbler the man broke the shell— “lt’s certainly handsome the way you treat folk;” He opened It deftly, and plumply it fell With a splash, and no wonder—it held double volk. The customer saw and a long breath ho drew ; "Look. Mister, that egg had two yolks, I de clare ! Instead of one needle, I’ve paid you for two— So hand me another an’ then we’ll be square !” THE RESIGHATIOH OF ALICIA. As I walked into the dining-room —Fido and Peter striding behind me and pretending not to see each other —I noticed with growing alarm that Alicia’s air of preoccupation grew and grew, until at last, not being able to stand it any longer, I suddenly asked, “Everybody well?” “Why,George !” exclaimed Alicia, “Why, George, what a strange ques tion !” And Alicia looked at me reproving ly, while I noticed with new alarm that she had discarded the little white frill that she usually wears round her neck, and that instead of her cus tomary pompadour, her hair was combed back and parted on one side ! Whereupon, not knowing what else to do, I sought to cover my confusion by giving Fido a bit of meat, which he proceeded to eat with such an air of superiority and distain at our other pet, that Peter, looking inexpressibly piratical, made a leap, snatched Fido’s morsel, and made his exultant way to safety behind our kitchen range. “Whatever is the matter with Fido and Peter?” I cried, quite aghast at such scandalous behavior. “Pay attention to them, George,” said Alicia. “They have been that way ever since I returned.” “Returned?” I asked. “Returned, Alicia ?” “Yes,” said Alicia. “From so ciety.” “From the society ?” “Yes, the society. And I was elect ed secretary!” Peter, having finished his meat be hind the range, came out from his re treat, and sitting on the threshold of the dining-room, in plain view of us all, fixed a blank look on Fido, and began to make his toilet with every appearance of a happy cat who had had his dinner and is thankful. Fido, seeing this hateful sight, wrinkled his nose and worked him self into a temper, punctuating the rumbling of his thunder by a smart clap of barking every time Peter lengthened his arm and drew his paw round the back of his neck. Peter, seeing that this item of his toilet was particularly irritating to Fido, broke forth in his loudest song, and gave all his time and attention to washing the back of his neck. And the more Peter washed the louder Fido barked; and the louder Fido barked, the more violently did Peter wash ; until I reached down at last to take Peter by the scruff, as a pre paratory step to dropping him out into the night, at the same time giv ing Fido a sympathetic and reassur ing glance. I had immediate cause for regret ting that glance, because the moment I took my eyes off Peter he ceased his ablutions, stood up like a bear, reach ed for my descending and unconscious hand, clawed it, waved his tail, cir cled the room, feinted at Fido, and slipped through the door and up the stairs with such an insulting ease that I could not help but remark: “Drat that cat!” “Why, George!” cried Alicia. “Why, George!” I hung my head in shame. “And didn’t I hear you use that same slangy word this morning when you cut yourself?” continued Alicia, with a touch of her old-time spirit. I had my face behind the table fern, and could only preserve silence until aroused at last by a gesture over the fern dish. I looked up and followed Alicia’s finger as it pointed to her lit tle windmill bank that stands upon the corner of our sideboard. “Every time you use that word again you must put a quarter in the bank,” said Alicia. “And I will keep it for the society ; we’re out of funds.” A week passed, and Alicia still combed her hair back, and was so strict and dignified with the pets that Fido spent his evenings in_. i ghs and mournfulness. As for Peter, that independent cat stayed away altogether, and his his tory became fragmentary. He was heard of one day as fighting a strange dog, and seen a few days later limp ing along rakishly on three legs and caring not for any man.” “Why, George !” said Alicia, one night. “You haven’t put a single quarter in yet!” “No,” I answered proudly, “not one!” Whereupon Alicia looking some what dubious, rattled the empty bank TOWSON, MD., SATURDAY, MARCH 6. 1909. again, while I went out into the night , and rattled a knife against a plate, re * peating Peter’s name in fond and coaxing accents. Returning into the house, I caught my foot on the door - mat, and exclaimed : t “Drat that mat.” “What was that, George?” asked Alicia, unexpectedly putting her dear i little face, all rosy and expectant, round our sitting room door. “What > was that you said ?” “I said, ‘Oh, that mat!’ ” ’ “Oh !” said Alicia, looking openly disappointed. She went back into the sitting room, while I stayed in the kitchen ; and treated myself to a long and happy smile. “If there’s one thing I like,” said Alicia, the next morning, “it’s a man that speaks his mind I” So saying, she dusted her windmill bank with spirit and put it back upon its shelf, shaking it surreptitiously as she did so, and sighing at the silence that ensued. That night, 1 hit my elbow against the hall rack, immediately giving ut terance to the penalized word —and beaming in the darkness as I did so. A glad, answering cry responded from the kitchen, and the next mo ment Alicia came running forward with her bank in her hand. I drop ped the quarter in it, and she made merry over my discomfiture —her dear little face all rosy and eager—l gave her the first good one that we had en joyed for many a day, and soon after marched upon the dining-room like a giant refreshed. I grew even more indulgent, spur red on to greater efforts by the sight of Alicia’s rosy little face, as she waited for the word to drop, and by Alicia’s joyful cry whenever she came running forward with the bank. All the time her severity of dress gradu ally lessened, until one night I came home and found her in the fluffiest dress, with her hair done as Alicia knows how to do it, and in such a state of distraction that only after dinner was over, and when Alicia was feeding the pets, did I notice, with a blinking of my eyes, that Peter had come home again. He was eating off the same plate with Fido, and look ing like a repentant cat who would never more irritate dogs by stealing ing their meat and then washing him self behind the ears. “Ah-h I” sighed Alicia. The pets, still at their plate, drop ped their tails a degree or two in sympathy, but went on with their dinner. “Club day tomorrow,” said Alicia. With a motion of despair, she took her bank from the shelf, emptied it on the cloth, and counted eight dol lars and eighty-eight cents. “Thirty-five words at a quarter each,” murmured Alicia,distractedly, “and thirteen cents for the one you checked in the middle.” She arranged the money with a listless hand, and— “ Ah-h-h !” she sighed again. “I saw the loveliest hat at the milliner’s today! It was nine dollars. And here is all but twelve cents !” Whereat I hugged myself in secret, but outwardly maintained that gravity of demeanor which seemed appro priate to Alicia’s state of mind. She rearranged the money in neat little piles, while Fido lay down at his ease and smiled at the company, and Peter, springing up on his chair and tucking his paws beneath bis breast, closed his eyes and started his evening song. “I don’t know what to do !” whisp ered Alicia. And as for me, I said nothing in a grand manner. “Of course,” she mused, “of course I could resign.” And musing still, she breathed, “It was an awfully pretty hat !” And as for me, I crossed my slip pered feet. “George,” exclaimed Alicia, tak ing my movement as a suggestion, “I’ve a good mind to resign ! Shall I, George? George, shall I?” “Resign from what?” I asked, all innocence. “From the Society for the Suppres sion of Slang,” confessed Alicia, sud denly looking guilty. And there we were; the louder I laughed, the guiltier Alicia looked ; and the guiltier Alicia looked the louder I laughed ; and the louder I laughed the more contentedly did Fido smile at the company and the tighter did Peter close his eyes as he sang his evening song ; until Alicia, seeking to stifle my mirth, brought one of her heels down accidently upon my foot. Whereat I cried, although in the most gentle of voices : “Ouch !” “Did I step on your foot, George ?’ ’ asked Alicia. “Did I?” And biding her rosy little face again, she murmured*: “Of course, George—if you want to check another one in the middle —” The Companion. HE LOST. The other day a Londoner said to a countryman : “I’ll bet you anything you like you cannot spell three simple words that I shall give you within forty seconds.” “I’ll take that one. Now, then, what are they ?’ ’ said the countryman. “Well, here goes,” said the Lon doner, as he pulled out his watch : “London.” 1 “L-o-n-d-o-n.” “Watching.” “W-a-t-c-h-i-n-g.” “Wrong,” said the Londoner. “What?” exclaimed the country man, in surprised tones. “I’ve spell -1 ed the words you gave me correctly. : I’m certain I’m not —” “Time’s up!” the Londoner said 1 triumphantly; “why didn’t you spell the third word —w-r-o-n-g?” : “Sometimes,” said the official, “I really yearn tor a private life.” “Yes,” : answered Senator Sorghum, “the great objection to a private life, how ■ ever, is that it cannot be pursued at : public expense.” "DOWH OH THE FABM." There is a little club in Louisville, Ky., composed of a few members only. Unpretentious quarters, an at mosphere surcharged with good fel lowship, and hospitality captivate those who are fortunate enough to be honored as its guests. Marse Henry Watterson is the pres ident. John Macauley is the only other officer. He has no title—just host. The inspiration that animated Dickens, Johnson and Byron must have sprung from just such surround ings. About one guest at each meeting of the little Bohemian gathering is the rule. Al. G. Field, who has lately be come the proud possessor of a farm, was the guest of the club recently, and in response to the toast, “The Farmer,” spoke as follows: the introduction hon ors me; to be a farmer has been the dream of my life. Beginning life on a farm, I ask no more pleasant end ing than to live the last days of my earthly time on a farm. ‘ 'The facetious remarks of the toast master do not explain my reasons for engaging in farming. It is true, financial considerations did not gov ern me in this matter, although I do hope to make the farm self-sup porting. If Ido not, I shall not feel that I have made a bad investment. “In seeking the quietude of the farm, I was actuated by the yearning that comes to all men who have led a busy life—to turn back the years and try to live again the days of patches, freckles, stone bruises and laughter— to live those days again when there was only one care in the world—not to be late for meals. “I want to go way back yonder in my life to a house half hid from view by the locusts and maples—where the bees hummed and swarmed. I want a scent of the honeysuckle as the ma ples and locusts budded forth in what seemed to me the morning of the world —springtime. I want to follow the path down by the big spring, through the hazel bushes, where the cotton tail jumped up just ahead of you, and the redbird sang his sweetest song. I can follow the path in my mind as the hunting dog follows the scent, down to the old rock hole where the clear, cool waters of the creek formed an eddy, in which the chub and yel low perch lurked and jumped at the bait as they never did anywhere else. “I want to feel that ecstasy that only comes to a boy when the bottle cork you used for a bobber goes under the water —when something is pulling on the line like a scared mule, bend ing double the pole cut in the thicket on your way to the creek. I want to throw the pole away, role up the tan gled line, hide it away in the corn crib, and sneak back to the house the op posite direction from the creek, that folks wouldn’t suspect you had been fishing on Sunday. “I want to go back yonder in my life where the hills meet the sky in a purple haze, where you feel yourself growing with the trees, where the smell of new earth calls you to the woods, where the dogwood is budding and the May-apple peeps up through last year’s leaves at the new leaves budding out on the grand old maples above. “I want to go so far back from the worries of city life that the crowing of the cock and the cackle of the hen will tell me it is morning, instead of the clanging of bells and blowing of whistles. I want to go back yonder where the setting sun, instead of the city lights, will tell me it is night. I want to hear the cricket and whip poor-will as we heard them in the evenings long ago, as we lis tened with bated breath to the jack o lantern legends that stirred our childish fancy until the croaking of the frogs sent us to bed to dream of uncanny things. “I want to live in the happiness of an autumn when the frost was on the pumpkin and the fodder in the shock —when the hickory nuts falling on the ground called the squirrels—when the stars gleamed bright enough to afford you light to bring a possum out of a tree with the old flintlock musket. How you cherished that gun; and when the snow hid the roads and paths like the white cover let on the big bed in the spare room and the big backlog crackled and burned on the hearth, and the red apples glistened in the firelight, and the popcorn imitation of a snowstorm was more realistic than any artificial one you have since witnessed. How you shivered as you undressed in the room above going to bed, but how soundly you slept after you got warm. I want to go back to one of those hallowed Sunday mornings in summer when the hush of heaven seemed to announce the Spirit of God in some unusual sense —when the peace of heaven seemed so near you felt its happiness. “While living the old days over— the days way back yonder—l want to live in the love and esteem of my friends of today. Whilst I cherish only a memory of the friends of the old days, I hold, after my family, the love and esteem of my friends of to day above all things in this life. “Gentlemen, come down to the farm. Visit with me and endeavor to live the life of a boy again, if only for a day.” “Your husband will be all right now,” said an English doctor to a woman whose husband was danger ously ill. “What do you mean?” demanded the wife. “You told me ’e couldn’t live a fortnight.” “Well, I’m going to core him, af ter all,” said the doctor. “Surely you are glad?” The woman wrinkled her brows. “Puts me in a bit of an ’ole,” she said. “I’vebinan’ soldall ’isclothes to pay for ’is funeral.” “Many a man who loves his neigh bor as himself would be In serious trouble if his wife knows it.” SOLID MABBLE MOUBTAIH. , A solid mountain of marble, nearly s 14,000 feet high, promises to make - the United States the richest marble - country in the world. 2 If 5,000 feet of this marble were i mined each day for 1,000 years, the quarries would not be exhausted, and - if all other known deposits of white j marble in the world were heaped up t in one mass it would be but a foot 1 hill as compared with the white mar t ble deposit composing this mountain. So great is the deposit of white [ marble that if perchance every person 1 in the civilized world should expire today, a monument of generous pro portions could be provided for each , individual. , White House Mountain in Colorado ‘ is one solid mass of pure satuary mar ble. For the present requirements - there has been exposed one section of ; solid white marble one mile long, 335 1 feet thick, and extending back at least -a mile and a half, as indicated by drill ’ ings. The cores from these drillings show that all of the marble clear to - the bottom in this cross section of the deposit is sound and beautiful. , Of this immense deposit 41 per cent. ■ is pure white statuary marble and 59 [ per cent, is divided between golden • vein and a beautiful dark vein. The I golden vein marble gives the warm coloring that is found in onyx. The > statuary marble is flawless and with \ out a trace of color or shadow, and in 1 quality is equal or superior to the 1 most famous Italian and Grecian marble. This marble can be carried in blocks i or pillars of any dimensions, a 50 -ton t derrick and the maximum capacity of the modern railroad car alone limiting 1 the size of the commercial product, r At this time the output is 1,500 cubic : feet per day, but within ten years it is confidently believed the production • will reach 10,000 cubic feet per day, c the demand alone limiting the output. Although this industry is scarcely : two years old, it is coming to the front with amazing strides. Two years ago 1 the town of marble, for many years an 1 abandoned mining camp, had a popu lation of four people. Today it is a bustling little community of 2,000 persons, all supported directly or in : directly by the marble business. Finishing mills, electric power plants, cable and electric trams and 100 or more cottages have been erec ted within the past eight months and many structures of various kinds are now under way. THE FAMOUS SWAN DINNEB. The appointment of Count John Bernstoff as German Ambassador to this country recalls the famous swan dinner which was given at Delimoni co’s in the early ’Bos by the late Mr. Luckemeyer, his father-in-law. This gentleman was a wealthy im porter and he received from the United States government the sum of SIO,OOO as a refund of excessive duties exact ed from him on importations. He dedicated this sum to a gastro nomic monument, and never in the history of New York restaurants, says Town and Country, has such a gor geous entertainment for a limited □umber of guests been rivaled. Seventy-two friends were asked. There was one table covered with flowers, excepting a space in the cen tre, left for a lake and a border around the table for the plates. This lake was an oval pond, thirty feet in length by nearly the width of the table, en closed by a delicate golden wire net work reaching from table to ceiling, making the whole one grand cage. In the lake swam four swans, brought from Central Park, surround ed by high banks of flowers, which prevented them from splashing the water on the table. Golden cages with canaries were hung from the ceiling and the entire room was one mass of flowers. It was a dinner at which all the most fashionable women of that day were present. The menu was done in gold and was long and elaborate, after the fashion of that period. The hors d’oeuvre was timbale a la Conde, and there were two soups, a releve, three entrees, a sorbet, truffled chickens and saddle of mutton for the roasts, two vegeta ; bles, a number of sweets and ices. THE GIBL FROM THE COUNTBY. Said a visitor to a teacher in a west j side business college : “That girl from the country seems J to be the brightest student in the room.” At the request of the teacher she L designated more particularly the girl - she had in mind. 1 “Oh, yes,” said the teacher, “she is very bright, but how did you know 1 she is from the country ? She doesn’t ‘ look countryfied.” L “Her habit of washing her hands so : often gave her away,” said the visi -1 tor. “I have been sitting here about two hours. In that time she has - washed her hands three times. No > city girl would have done that; she r would have sharpened pencils or turn -1 ed over dusty books, and simply have : polished her hands on her pocket i handkerchief and gone on working. - The country girl would find it impos sible to work under such conditions. : She must have clean hands. All > country people have a mania for wash r ing their hands. After each task down go their hands into a basin of water. City life cures most country t habits ; frequent bathing of the hands 1 is the last to go.” — N. Y. Times. “Anything I can show you, sir ?” 1 “Yes, I want to get some kind of t toy for my three-year-old boy. Have you anything that’s indestructible? ■ Something he can’t break the first J time he plays with it?” “I think so. We have some toy flatirons.” i “Have they got handles on them?” s “Of course.” ‘ ‘Well, they won’t last him five min utes. Show me something else.” s The greatness that is thrust upon a man is apt to annoy his neighbors. THE RECOLLECTIONS OF A DIME. Did any one ever pause to consider what a varied existence a dime neces sarily leads ? There are none of life’s phases with which I have not come into contact, and now, although all my brightness and individuality are worn away, and I am so thin my circulation has nearly stopped, I am a veritable silver mine of experience and information. It was a realization of this fact that induced me, in these, my last days, to cull from the past a few recollec tions and coin them into a little story, hoping it might make me appreciated beyond my mere intrinsic value. I suppose I am conceited to attempt this, because all I know about writing I learned from being stranded in the pocket of a literary man. But his remarks regarding literature were very forceful. I was a great comfort to that man in moments of despera tion. He knew as long as I stayed ' with him I stood between him and starvation. One day he sold a joke for fifty cents, and, with the base ingrati tude that mars some really noble na tures, he swapped me over a quick lunch counter for two doughnuts and a cup of coffee ! An old gentleman got me next, and, mistaking me for a cent, gave me to a newsboy. The boy was so astonished he bit me to see if I was real; not satisfied with that test, he dashed me to the sidewalk. I cried out proteslingly, and when he heard the silvery ring of my voice he was satisfied. Hegripped me so tight I was all in a perspiration by the time he got home. Such a miserable apology for the name —home? He had to climb flight after flight of rickety stairs be fore he reached the one room that to him meant home. “Pauly,” he cried, pushing open the door, “are you awake?” A small, white face was lifted from a heap of ragged bedding, and a pair of wide-opened eyes answered the question with mute eloquence. “Look here,” continued the boy, breathlessly, “an old gent gave me a true enough dime and I’m going to buy you a lump of modeling wax I” “O—h,” the long-drawn exclama tion was expressive of an intense emotion, “let me see it 1” The boy laid me, all moist,on the out stretched palm of his crippled brother, who turned me over incredulously. “Don’t you need it to buy some thing to eat, Louis?” he asked, hesi tatingly. “Naw,l’m filled right up. A feller gave me a handful of peanuts,and I’m going to get some buns for our tea.” Louis dashed down stairs again, and I was soon lying in the till of a jeweler’s shop where he took me to buy the wax. I lay there all night, wondering why those hungry boys had parted with me for an insensate lump of wax, little thinking I would ever know. The next day I was given to a beautiful young lady, all in gray. I fell quite in love, and was glad when she tucked me in her glove. I liked snuggling close to her warm hand and feeling her dependent on me ; because I was all the money she had left from her shopping. Alas ! As she stepped into a trol ley car I fell out unnoticed; I real ized that I was lost; but with my mercurial nature, I ran like quick silver to the feet of a young man, who picked me up and started after the beautiful gray lady. She had disap peared into the car; he followed. When the conductor came to collect the fares she discovered it was gone ! The young man leaned forward and said politely : “Allow me the pleas ure of paying your fare.” She thank ed him so sweetly, and asked for his address that she might return the money. He gravely handed her his card and paid her fare ; but not with me. He put me still warm from her hand, in his vest pocket. And there Lstayed until I was tarnished for the want of use, all done up in tissue paper and labelled: “Her dime.” One night the erratic thumping of his heart made me so restless that I popped right out of his pocket. As soon as I touched the floor I saw the reason that I had been able to do it was because he was stooping forward to tie the beautiful gray lady’s shoe. She saw me and read my label as she picked me up. “Why, what does this mean ?” she asked. “Is it yours?” Hisfacegot awfully red and he pushed me back in his pocket. The next thing I knew I felt some thing pressed against the vest pocket where I was hidden, and I distinctly heard the beautiful giay lady say: “Let’s keep that dear dime to buy the first bread we break in our own home.” And so after another period of en forced idleness I was joyously ex changed for a loaf of bread. What was my surprise when the baker handed me to —Louis! He knew me at once, because I still bore the marks of his teeth, but I should never have known him; he looked entirely different. He galloped off to show me to Paul. They didn’t live in the same wretched room I remembered, and Paul was sitting at a table absorbed over a bit of modeling wax. All around the room were exquisitely modeled wax busts of prominent people, wonderfully con ceived designs for ornamentation and fantastic conceptions that breathed the soul of an artist. Paul was pleased to see me again, for they both remembered I had been instrumental in helping them get ma terial for their first succesful model. In after years I often heard Louis and Paul spoken of, and always in terms ot respect and admiration. And so I might endlessly go on re calling stories from the book of life, but I once heard my literary friend say it was not so much what you wrote as what you didn’t write that made a story. —Boston Post. ESTABLISHED 1850. HOW THEY PASTED. And they were married and lived happily ever afterward ? Well, hard ly that. It wasn’t two days after they had returned from the honeymoon when he dashed downstairs with a shirt in bis hand exclaimed: “Queen of queens, light of my life, I love you as a woman was never loved before, but if you don’t mend the buttonholes in my shirts when they come from the laundry a calam ity is going to happen around here.” Two or three days later she met him at the front door when he return ed from the office, and there was a savage gleam in her blue eyes as she said: “My king of kings, man whom I adore as man was never adored" be fore, let me give you a little piece of advice. If you don’t wipe your feet on the doormat hereafter you’ll think ' you have been struck by lightning.” All went well for a time, but one morning he picked up one of the bis cuits she had so proudly placed before him, and as he carefully looked it over and studied its size and shape he remarked : “My beloved, my jewel of the first water, my princess that I would will ingly lay down my life for, you are the world to me, but hereafter when you put these English walnuts on the table I wish you wouldn’t forget the nutcracker.” She awaited her opportunity and got back at him one night when he came home from the club in a hilari ous condition. “My prince of princes,” she said as she led him around the bedroom by the ear, “I worship you every min ute of the day, but right here and now I am going to take away your latchkey and teach you to stay home by your own fireside seven nights a week.” It was only two days later that he caught her using bis best razor on her corns, and as he took it away from her he said: “Helpmeet of helpmeets, woman with eyes that the stars might euvy, my very soul is yours, but if I ever catch you doing such a trick again I’ll break all the furniture in the house and see that your poodle meets with violent death.” She did not reply, but when he came home that night the kitchen fire was out, and he found a note reading : “Apollo of Apollos, Beau Brummel of Beau Brummels, man whom a queen might fall down and worship, I have gone home to mother, and di vorceproceedings will be started at once.’’ He lost no time in getting pen and paper and replied as follows : “Angel of angels, sweetheart of sweethearts, woman whose charms no man can resist, bring on your pro ceedings and make me the happiest man on earth.” And it was thus they parted. — New York Herald. IHTEBEBTIHG IHFOBMATION. “We can learn from all men, even from the humblest,” said H. K. Adair, a detective. “Turn a deaf ear to no man. The lowliest tramp may have information of incredible interest for you. “ I well remember a walk I once took down Market street. Aslstrode along proud and happy, a rose in my buttonhole and a gold-headed cane in my hand, a drunken man had the im pudence to stop me. “ ‘Ain’t you Mr. Adair?’ he said. “ ‘Yes.” said I. ‘What of it?’ ‘“Mr. Adair, the detective?’ he hie-coughed. “ ‘Yes, yes. Who are you?’ I ask ed impatiently. “‘Mr. Adair,’ said the untidy wretch, as he laid his hand on my shoulder to keep himself from falling, ‘l’ll tell you who I am, Mr. Adair. I’m —hie —the husband of your wash erwoman.’ “ ‘Well, what of that?’ said I, scornfully. “My scorn brought a sneer to the man’s lips, he said : “ ‘You see you don’t know every thing, Mr. Adair.’ “ ‘What don’t I know?’ I demand ed. “ ‘Well, Mr. Adair,’ said he, ‘you don’t know that—hie—l’m wearin’ one of your new white shirts.’ ” HE WEHT HO FOBTHBB. One cold, wintry morning a man of tall and angular build was walking down a steep hill at a quick pace. A treacherous piece of ice under the snow caused him to lose control of his feet and be began to slide down and was unable to stop. At a cross street half-way down the decline he en countered a large, heavy woman with her arms full of bundles. The meet ing was sudden, and before either re alized it a collision ensued and both were sliding down the hill, a grand ensemble, the thin man underneath, the fat woman and bundles on top. When the bottom of the hill was reached and the woman was strug gling to recover her breath and her feet, there came to her ear faintly from somewhere underneath the heap, these faint words : “Pardon me, madam, but you will have to get off here. This is as far as I go.” When the lady next door called to complain that Tommy had been per secuting her pet cat she found the boy on the front steps. “I want to see your father!” she demanded. “I’m afraid you can’t see Pa now,” the boy replied respectfully. “I intend to see him instantly,” the lady insisted in a loud voice. “Well, all right,” the little fellow agreed, opening the front door. “Walk right upstairs. You’ll find Pa in the bathroom takin’ a bath.” “Pa, why is he called a dentist?” “Because he leaves a dent.” “In your jaw ?” “Yes and in your pocketbook.”