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VOL. 60. WHOLE No. 2313.
Second National Bank TOWSON, IM:a~ • We invite the accounts of Individuals, Firmg, Corporations, Societies, Executors, Administrators, Trustees, &c. II) ill J | rrr ) ( Collections Made. Loans Negotiated. Banking in All Its Branches. EVERT POSSIBLE ACCOMMODATION FOR OCR DEPOSITORS. -I OFFICERS: THOMAB W. OPFUTT, ELMER J. COOK, I VIOE-PREBIDENTS. THOS. J. MEADS, President. Harrison Rider, 1 Cashier. THOMAS W. OFFUTT. W. BERNARD DUKE, HENRY C. LONQNECKER, Elmer J. Cook, Wm. A. Lee, Z. Howard isaao, Harrison Rider, Chas. H. Knox, Noah E. Offutt, John. I. Yellott, W. Gill Smith, John V. Slade. Feb, ft—ly j: Make Life Worth Living. j; < i a Hard times come to most everybody. Life t < | J /I has more ups than downs. Right now, while II % < | .111 you are making, you ought to be saving; lijj 4 i t\\l then when the downs come you have some- ||// A < , 3 1 thing on which to fall back. ] > ( | J Where is the money you have been earning I < ' % all these years ? Ton spent it and somebody < [ 3 ► -V7IJ else put it in the Bank. Why don’t you put J > i | ' rfl your own money in the Bank for yourself ? 11l ' S 7 (I Why let the other fellow Bank what you IT 4J Be Independent and Start a Bank Account for Yourself With j: The Towson National Bank,!; 3; TOWSON, 2&ID. 3! <3 DIRECTORS. 3; JOHN CROWTHER, President; D. H. RICE, Vice-President; <[ ,' Col. Walter S. Franklin, Lewis M. Bacon, S <3 Hon. J. Fred. C. Talbott, Wilton Creenway, 3* 3> John S. Blddlson, Ernest C Hatch. < J <3 Emanuel W Herman, __ . 3 * <3 W. 0. ORAUMER, Oashier. 3> ] ► Oct. j THE COMMERCIAL BANK OF MARYLAND BELVEDERE AVENUE, Near Reisterstown Road, ARLINGTON, Md. , m n- O CAPITAL STOCK, $25,000. ——o—— 3STOW OPEN FOR BTJSHsTEISS. Does a general Banking Business in all that is consistent with safe and carefnl man agement. The location of oar Bank makes it the most convenient place for a large number of residents of Baltimore county to transact their financial business. Daring the short time oar Bank has been open for business the amount of deposits has reached a success far in excess of our expectations. We have a SAVINGS DEPARTMENT and pay Interest on money deposited there. Call and see ns and we will explain why it will be to yonr advantage to open an account with us. Prompt attention given to all collection business entrusted to ns. * 0 —: OFFICERS: — CHAS. T COCKEV. Jr.. JOHN K. CULVER, Ist Vice-President. CHARLEB E. SMITH, President. HOWARD E. JACKSON, 2d Vice-President. Cashier. DIRECTORS: CHARLES T COCKEV. Jr., HOWARD E. JACKBON, ROBERT H. McMANNS, ARTHUR F. NICHOLSON, J. B. WAILKS, MAX ROSEN, JOHN K CULVER, GEORGE W. ALT, H. D. HAMMOND, J. FRANK SHIPLEV, H. D. EASTMAN. Dec. 26—ly gEttstfjeltauecms. Duckett’s Gape Cube MUST!* WORM AS WILL AS TH( GEM /#Af TC/Hac Kjjtt HILUBOWftXa tKKWVWH ■ It's a powder. The chicks inhale both worm and germ. Whole brood treated in five minutes. Retail price. 25c.; by mall, 35c. For sale by drug and general stores. Write for full information. Address, T. C. HACKEIT, Apl. 10—3m] Hillsboro, Md. Eggs for hatching i EGGS FUR HATCHING I I am now booking orders for immediate and future deliveries of EGGS THAT WILL HATCH—guaranteed fertile. These eggs are from THOROUGHBRED STOCK. Barred Plymouth Rocks SI.OO setting 16 White Plymouth Rooks 1.00 “ Single Comb White Leghorns 1.00 “ Single Comb Black Minorcas 1.00 “ Single Comb Black OrpingtODS.... 1.50 “ EUREKA POULTRY YARDS, JOHN LIPPINCOTT, Proprietor, Feb. 6—tf] Belalr, Md. punas’ BIRRED PLYMOUTH ROCKS Eggs For SaIeHM.II per 13. JOSEPH PHIPPS. Mch. 20—8tl TOWSON. Md. SINGLE COMB WHITE LEGHORNS! LARGE WHITE BIRDS. THE KIND THAT LAY~wTnTER AND SUMMER. I have bred these birds for three years and have never failed to get winter eggs. I also took 3 flrst and 5 second prizes at Timonium Fair last fall. of“ Eggs for hatching, SI.OO per 13. FRANK C. WOOD, Feb. 20— ly] Towson, Balto. county, Md. EGGS for HATCHING BARRED PLYMOUTH ROCK, BUFF ORPINGTON. : ; : 75c. for 13 Packed for Shipment. 50c. for 13 at My Yards. : : : A9“Call and see my stock.*®* SAITL D. BARKLEY, mY Feb. 27—ly WANTED_>* LARGE TREES, Walnut Poplar, Chestnut and Oak. Apply to or address— JAMES W. SHEA, Apl. 10—tf] LUTHERVILLE, Md. AJONBT TO IA>AN. I have on hand TO LOAN ON MORTGAGE SECURITY the following sums of moneys2so, $350, $530, S7OO, SI,OOO, $1,200, $1,500, SI,BOO, $2,500, $3,000 and $5,000. Some of the above will be leaned at per cent. „ W. GILL SMITH, Moh.l.—tf. Towson, Md. pUscjeXXanectts. sprinT^sTyles IN ALL SHADES, From $15.00 to $30.00. HARRY W. GANSTER, Al LORs 512 and 514 North Gay Street, BALTIMORE, Md. Apl, 17—ly Established 1885. “CHESAPEAKE” STITCHED CAPAS BELTING Suitable and specially adapted for Saw Mill and Threshermen’s Use. Transmits moke power than any other Belt. Thoroughly Waterproof and Fully Guaranteed. BFWrite for prices, etc., to THE CHESAPEAKE BELTING COMPANY, D. HOCKADAY, Propr. 823 McKim Street, Bet. Madison and Eager Streets, Baltimore, Md. Apl. 24—6 m WALL PAPERS^ —AND— SHADES. My new line is all that could be desired, showing The Latest and Most Exclusive PATTERNS AND NOVELTIES. Neat and tasty work assured you at moderate prices. Won’t you favor me with an order? City and Country Work receive personal and prompt attention. FRANK B. NORRIS, 1053 N. GAY STREET, Cor. Chase Street, BALTIMORE. Md. <g*Telephone. Apl. 24—ly Flowers, Plants, &o. FOR WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS, AT REASONABLE RATES. Special Attention Given to Ornamental Gardening. JOHN L. WAGNER, Florist, W. JOPPA ROAD, TOWSON, Md. C. &P. Phone-Towson 8-F. [Nov. 21—ly E. SCOTT PAYNE CO. 362 and 364 N. Gay Street, Baltimore, Md. Headquarters for Blacksmith and Horseshoers’ Supplies and Builders’Hardware, Bar Iron, Steel Springs, Axles, Wheels, Shafts, Spokes, Rims, Hubs, Horse Shoes. Horse Shoe Nails, Horae Shoe Pads, Rubber Tires, Rubber Tire Channels and Appliances, Wheelwright Material and Supplies. Headquarters for Field and Lawn Fence, Lawn Swings, Lawn Mowers, Lawn Sprinklers. A pos tal card will reach us. [Apl.2lUan.3o “MB KICKBB.” He grumbles if his coffee’s hot And wails If it is cold; He whines In case the maid Is young And roars If she is old. He hates a pleasant day because The sunshine hurts bis eyes. And cloudy weather makes him shake His fist un at the skies. If Mrs. K. goes out to call “A gadabout 1” he growls; And it' she stays at home with him, “You’re watching me!" he howls. “The world Is growing worse,” he sighs— “l wish thatl were dead!” And that’s the only hopeful thing He ever said. —N. Y. Sun. AND THE FIBST SHALL BE THE LAST. I was al work on my Sunday ser mon when my wife opened the door. She was laughing. “There’s a young fellow downstairs who says he wishes to see you about marrying him.” I didn’t like to break off from the thread of my discourse, but, laying down my pen, I went into the parlor. There stood the youngster, six feet in height, strong as Sampson, light haired, blue eyed, red and brown complexion, shocky hair. His trous ers were in his boots and were sup ported by a pair of country store gal luses over a woolen shirt; no coat; a felt hat in his band. “Be vou the parson?” he asked. “I am.” “Say, parson, if I figger roun’ to day an’ git things fixed, could I come up here ’long with a gal an’ git mar ried?” “Certainly. I shall be here all the morning. I have some parochial du ties for the afternoon, but if I knew the hour you would be here I would be on hand.” “I ain’t done it all yet. I done it except one thing. I got my license. That’s all ready. I got it more’n a week ago.” “That’s the only really important matter,” I replied to help him on. ** ’N you got a certificate, hain’t you?” “Lots of them, in blank.” “Well, that’s two things—the cer tificate and the license.” “You’re right; that’s two very im portant things, one indispensable and the other convenient.” “ ’N here’s a place to get married in.” “Has your fiancee got her trous seau?” “What’s them?” “The first means sweetheart, the second the clothes brides usually get together so they won’t have to call on their husbands for some time after the wedding for such articles.” He stood thinking for a moment, then looked up and said with anima tion : “By cracky, parson, that’s a good idea. Never thought o’ that.” “Has she got it ?” “Oh I don’t know nothin’ ’bout that. ’Twouldn’t be fust rate for me to talk about that. ’Twould be dead mean cheap.” “There are more important things for the man to say, I grant, and more becoming.” ‘‘What are they ?” “Well, the first thing is the pro posal.” “That’s just the trouble with the whole business.” “Did you find it difficult ?” “Difficult? You bet. I hain’t got through with it yet.” “Phew!” I looked at my wife. She sat behind the young man and was cramming her handkerchief into her mouth to stop an outburst of laughter. My explanation was made under my breath, but the youth saw it. “Just you hold on, parson,” he said. “I’m good for it yet. Just gimme time. But I’d rather drive my ox team up a stone wall, I would. She’s in town today. I seen her in astorebuyin’ somestockin’s. That’s why I come up here.” “Don’t you think you’d have bet ter settled the matter with the girl first?” “Well,” he frowded, “there’s dif ferent ways of doin’ things. Ef I’d asked her and she’d said ‘yes,’ what in thunder would I ‘a’ done with nothin’ fixed?” “Are you sure you’ve the pluck —” “Now, parson, don’t you worry ’bout that. I’m going right off to find her. You’ll be here when I get back, will you ?” “I’d stay in all day to marry such a fine fellow as you. Go ahead. Re member what General Grant said when he first marched a brigade again’t the Confederates.” “What’d he say?” “That he remembered the enemy would likely be as much frightened as he.” “Oh, she won’t be frightened. Gals don’t skeer worth a cent.” He grabbed his whip and in a jiffy was out of the house and striding down the street. I went back to my sermon and wrote for an hour when my wife threw open my study door, exclaim ing : “They’re coming!” “Who?” I asked, not so readily turned from my subject. “The young ox driver and his girl. Come.” “I went downstairs, and there in the parlor were the pair. They had just come in. The man looked as if he were in a battle and was looking for an enemy and an enemy was look ing for him. The girl, a little coun try beauty, was all smiles and blush es, with struggling tears. “I done it, parson,” said the ox driver proudly. “So I perceive.” My wife stood them up before the mantel and had more trouble to get them placed properly side by side than a pair of skiitish horses. Then I married them. My wife gave the biide a kiss which opened her heart and her lips as well, for she told all about it. She had loved him a long while ; but, al though she had often tried hard, she could never infuse courage enough in him to induce him to propose. Which goes to prove that when he said “gals don’t skeer worth a cent,” he was right.— Elbat G. Baitley. TOWSON, MD., SATURDAY, MAY 8. 1909. A MABYLAND COLONIAL FABIBH. St. John's Parish, Baltimore and Harford Counties. BY J. WOBRALL LARMOUR, SECTOR. This is said to be the oldest parish in Baltimore county, Md. The claim has been disputed, but there is one fact in its history which seems to place it beyond dispute. That fact is this: “In the year 1674 Jeremiah Eaton devised a certain tract of land for the maintenance of the first Prot estant minister who should reside in Baltimore county and to his success ors forever.” This bequest was con firmed to the rector or minister of St. John’s parish, Baltimore county,” by Act of the Colonial Assembly in the year 1719. Nothing is known of Mr. Eaton, or of his descendants, nor is it known where he is buried. More than a hundred years after his death another benefactor of the parish, the late Ed ward Day, of Baltimore county, had prepared at his own expense a tribute I to Mr. Eaton’s memory, which for many years hung upon the walls of St. John’s Church at Kingsville, a building which Mr. Day had erected at his own cost, and which, with three acres of land, he donated to the vestry in 1815. Unfortunately this memorial was not graven upon mar ble, but was printed upon paper, and consequently it has become almost illegible by the ravages of time. I have tried to decipher it as best I could, and this, verbatim et litera tim, is the result of my labor : ST. JOHN’S P. E. CHURCH, KINGSVILLE, BALTIMORE COUNTY, MD. “Tnis Memento of Jeremiah Eaton, of Most Worthy Memory, who departed this life about the year 1676. -Being actuated by pure benevolence, he devised in perpetuity to the Hector of St. John’s Parish and his successors, in Baltimore county, a val uable donation of land, five hundred and fifty acres, and which generous fund has since ad ministered.” (The rest of the sentence is ille gible.) "The writer of this, a stranger to the person of the donor, but a warm admirer of his merit, humbly trusts that his virtuous piety may be often imitated, never forgotten, in the awful day of Retribution.” "This important event is recorded upon the walls of St. John’s new stone Episcopal Church by its founder, as a slight tribute of respect, on the first day of January, in the year of Our Lord Christ, one thousand eight hundred and seven “Go and do thou likewise.”—Luke, 10th chap ter, 27th verse.” There seems to have been a mis take as to the number of acres com prising Mr. Eaton’s bequest. In the memorial just quoted it is said to be five hundred and fifty acres, but from a record of a vestry meeting, held on the 10th day of July, 1832, when it was decided to dispose of the Glebe, it was reported that the tract had been recently surveyed, and that it was found to contain three hundred and forty acres. It was purchased by the late Thomas White Hall, of Harford county, and it is still in the posses sion of his descendants. The pro ceeds of this sale were invested, and the parish still has the benefit of the investment. It is said that the first church in this parish was located at Elk Neck, on the Gunpowder river. Of this building nothing definite is known, and it is doubtful if the site could be accurately determined. In the year 1724 the town of Joppa was founded, and here the second church was built. In its day Joppa was a place of considerable impor tance. There is an old proverb which says that “All roads lead to Rome,” and one could not travel very far in this section without realizing the fact that all roads lead to Joppa, for no matter in what direction he might travel, sooner or later he will come to a “Joppa road,” so named, because in old times it led to Joppa. But when Baltimore was founded the glory de parted from Joppa, and it was not very long before it ceased to be. Its site is now part of a farm, and the farm house, a substantial building of brick, is all that is left to mark the location of what someone has very appropriately termed “a lost town.” Not a vestige of the church is left, and it is doubtful if its site could be located. There is a graveyard, and in it is a. tombstone erected to the memory of “David McCulloh, A merchant in Joppa, who died September 17, 1766, Aged 46 years.” It is a very substantial stone and stands as firmly now as it did when it was erected nearly two centuries ago. There are other stones in the yard, but all of them are of more modern date, for it was used by some of the old families as a place of interment up to the middle of the last century. In connection with the church at Joppa the following item from the Journal of the great evangelist, Geo. Whitefield, the fellow laborer of John Wesley, is of interest: “December 3d, 1739. After traveling about fif teen miles on horseback, having slept the night before near the Susque hanna Ferry, we baited at Joppa, where I gave a word of exhortation to about forty people in the church. Thou most Adorable Head of the Church give Thy Blessing.” I have said that there was not a vestige of the old church left, but it must have been standing as late as 1826, for at a vestry meeting held in that year a committee was appointed “to sell the material of the old church and the vestry house.” In the year 1815, as already stated, the late Edward Day, of Baltimore county, erected at Kingsville, at his expense, a stone church, which with three acres of land he deeded to the vestry “to be used for all time as a place for the worship of Almighty God according to the rites of the Protestant Episcopal Church, and no other.” Nor was this his only bene faction, for at his death, in 1842, he bequeathed to the vestry ten shares of the stock of the Farmers and Mer chants’ Bank of Baltimore, the in come of which was to be used for the support of the rector of St. John’s Parish. The church was consecrated by the Rt. Rev. James Kemp, Bishop of Maryland, on the 17th day of July, 1817. In the year 1852 the church was enlarged, and a vestry room and chancel were added. At a meeting of the vestry, held on the 7th day of July, 1888, it was de cided “to raise by subscription the sum of five thousand dollars for the erection of a uew church. Unless the entire amount was raised by the Ist day of July, 1889, all subscriptions were to be void.” The amount was all secured by the time specified, and a building committee was appointed, but unforeseen obstacles were en countered, and no steps were taken towards the erection of a building until July, 1894, when ground was broken for the foundation. The corner-stone was laid on the 2d day of August, 1894, and on the eleventh Sunday after Trinity, Au gust 16th, 1896, the first service was held in the new church. The build ing is of Port Deposit granite. Its length is 50 by feet; the nave is 26j4 by 53 feet 10 inches; the chancel is 17 by 15 feet; the pews ana chancel furniture of quartered oak. The lectern, pulpit, bishop’s chair and altar are memorials. There are two handsome memorial windows of stained glass from the Royal Bava rian Art Institution of Munich. As it stands it is one of the most hand -1 some and substantial of our rural churches. As is too often the case, the cost of the building exceeded the estimates, and we were left with a debt of $5,900, which, with greatly reduced resources, we have had to meet. This debt is now reduced to $2,000, and we hope in time to can cel it. The following is a list of rectors of the parish : John Yeo, 1680 to 1686 ; John Edwards, 1703 to 1711 ; George Irvine, 1712 to 1718; Evan Evans, 1718 to 1721 ; William Tibbs, 1721 to 1724; John Humphries, 1724 to 1725 I John Holbrook, 1725 to 1726 ; William Cauthorne, 1726 to 1738; Benjamin Bourdillon, June to Sep tember, 1738; Henry Ogle, 1738 to 1742; Hugh Deans, 1742 to 1777; George Hughes Worsley, 1779 to 1781 ; James Jones Wilmer, 1781 to 1785 ; Eevi Heath, 1786 to 1789; John Coleman, 1789 to 1800; John Allen, 1801 ; James Jones Wilmer, 1801 to 1803 ; John Allen and John Coleman, officiating occasionally from 1803 to 1805 ; George D. S. Hardy, 1808 to 1812 ; John Coleman, 1812 to 1816; Matthew Johnson, 1816 to 1818 ; John Reeder Keech, from 1812 to 1861. In Mr. Keech’s time it was the cus tom to elect the rector annually. When we remember that he was elected in this way for forty-three years, we need no greater tribute to his worth. In his address to the Con vention of 1862, Bishop Whittiugham referred to Mr. Keech’s death in these words: “The third name on our clergy roll, there uninterruptedly for more than fifty years, has now disap peared. Affording a rare instance of quiet settlement in one parochial charge, the Rev. John R. Keech pro longed his laborious and faithful pas torship far into the second generation of a people, among whom he had been enabled to hold such unusual continuance of ministry, mainly by well directed exertions in teaching and otherwise for his own support. Serving two congregations, each am ple for a separate cure, his severe du ties extended over a service equal to that of many a primitive diocese, still he bore up under them to the last, and steadfastly endeavored to fulfil to the uttermost a trust for the respon sibility of which he was deeply sensi ble, while by example in himself and in his well ordered family, he most effectively enforced the lessons of Christian character and conduct,sedu ously inculcated in his long course of parochial ministration.” Mr. Keech was succeeded by the Rev. Julius M. Dashiell, 1862 to 1865 ; Adolphus T. Pindell, 1865 to 1876; Charles J. Hendly, 1876 to 1878; Edward W. Wroth, 1878 to 1880; Alfred J. Barrow, 1880 to 1883; John Worrall Larmour, 1884 to the pres ent time. In conclusion I would mention the names of some who have been con nected with the parish, and who be come known beyond its borders. Among the names of its vestrymen I notice that of Richard Caswell, a Revolutionary hero, and three times Governor of North Carolina. Miss Margaretta Howard, a daugh ter of Col. John Beale Howard, of : Sherwood, who before the order of ; deaconess was revived in the church gave herself to that work in connec tion with St. Paul’s parish. Her life was “full of good works which she did,” and she gave herself wholly to those works of mercy and kindness which made her presence a benedic tion to the sorrowfui and the suffer ing wherever she went. The Rev. James A. Buck, for 45 years rector of Rock Creek parish, in the Diocese of Washington, grew to manhood in this parish and attended Sunday school at St. John’s. The Rev. John W. Nott, one of the retired clergymen of Maryland, was a teacher in Mr. Keech’s school, and was ordained deacon in St. John’s Church. The Rev. Joseph P. Gibson, of the Diocese of Pittsburg, spent his boy hood here, and was confirmed in St. John’s Church. Christ Church, Rock Spring ; Em manuel Church, Belair; The Prince of Peace, Fallston, and St. Mary’s Church, Emmorton, are all within the bounds of St. John’s parish. During the rectorship of the Rev. Hugh Deans, 1742 to 1777, St. James’ Church, “My Lady’s Manor” was erected as a chapel of ease, with the understanding that it should become an independent parish at Mr. Dean’s death. Trinity Church, Long Green, is also within the bounds of St. John’s par ish, and was served by the clergy of St. John’s or St. James’, until about fifteen years ago, when it entered upon an independent existence. The benefactors of the parish have been: Jeremiah Eaton, died 1675, leaving 340 acres of land ; Edward Day, who built the old church at his owu cost, gave it with three acres of land to the vestry, and wben he died, in 1842, gave it a legacy of four hun dred dollars; Mrs. Mary Sterett Bry arly, died 1894, a legacy of $5,000; Joseph Cox, died 1896, a legacy of $1,000; Mrs. Elizabeth E. Bose, died 1899, a legacy of $5,000. While there has been no marked growth, the parish has been able to hold its own. The old people die, and the young people go elsewhere to better their condition, so that there is not much chance for growth ; still we hope that it has a future. For it is in one of the most attractive and healthy sections of the State, it is near the city, and it will in time be come a place of suburban residences. , May God speed the day. May He re- ( vive His work, so that thisold parish may prove a blessing to coming gener- ( atious. He will do His part ; may He enable us by His grace to do ours ; ( for with His blessing our labor can not be in vain.— Hatfotd Democrat. \ For “The Union.” NATUBE’S WONDEBLAND. by oeoroe e. tack. 0 wondrous and grand are the mountains fair. That range away in the distant air. And touched with the sun’s own colors rare In the skyflelds of eve and morn. And Alp-like, some their summits raise. Their pinnacles and crowns ablaze, With glory beams and purest rays. As on temples old and grand. And others, hill-like, range afar. By golden seas, whose rippling bar, Reflects, perhaps, the morning star, Tnat gleams so pure and mild. And here and there the mountains through Are placid lakes of deepest blue, And opaline, and crystal, too. That waveless, tideless, gleam. Then over ail there softly grows A crimson light—or chance of rose, That flushes mount, and lake, and glows. Through all the cloudland fair. And oft through wonderland away, I go, at eve, or break of day. Where nature holds her wondrous sway And charms my very soul. Thus God doth grant me here at home, By mountain, sea, and lake to roam, Till to Mount Zion’s sea I come, And view His wonders there. BALKED AT PET PULLET. “It doesn’t pay to raise chickens in a small way,” said a suburbanite, “for the reason that you can only eat the eggs, never the chickens them selves.” “But why can’t you eat the chick ens?” inquired the man’s partner. “Could you eat your canary or your dog ? No. And for much the same reason,” says the Philadelphia Bulletm , “you can’t eat your chick ens. For they are pets, as dogs or canaries are. You have raised them ; they have learned to know you ; they have names that they answer to ; they follow you about the yard—in a word, they like you and you like them.” He shuddered. “I remember when we killed and stewed Mary Jane. She had stopped laying ; she was long past that stage ; so we murdered her and tried to eat her. But we failed. We felt like cannibals, like ghouls, when Mary Jane’s mangled remains were set smoking before us. Eat? Why the very memory half sickens me now.” WHAT’S IN A TITLE? Judge Gray, of Delaware, was talking recently about the fondness of American girls for English titles. In speaking of how empty and mean ingless such foreign titles usually were, he illustrated it with the fol lowing : “Titles are just as meaningless in the United States. Take my own title —the title of judge, for instance. I was traveling in the country a short time ago, and, at the table of the ho tel where I was stopping, there was a man whom every one present ad dressed as ‘judge.’ “When this judge got up and went away, I said to the man sitting next him at the table, ‘ls the geutleman who just left a United States judge or a local judge?” “ ‘He is a local judge, sir,’ was the reply. ‘He was a judge at a horse race last week.’ “Titles at home and abroad amount to about the same thing. Nothing counts but the man.” Uncle Joe —Yes, Teddy, it is quite possible that there are people in the moon. Little Teddy—Well, what becomes of them when there isn’t any moon? Even when we have no music in us some people will try to play on our sympathies. THE EYES. The blessing of good eyes is uni versally conceded in the abstract, but in the concrete it is inadequately ap preciated if one may judge from the lack of care taken to preserye it. The eye is a wonderful organ, but singularly unfitted to cope with the tremendous strain which the present reading and writing age puts upon it.. It may seem to be an extreme state ment, yet it is safe to say that not one educated reading person in ten has a pair of eyes which can be called per fect. The most common defect is astigma tism, that is to say, an irregularity in the refracting part of the eye which interferes with correct focusing of what is looked at. What ought to be seen as a point is registered on the retina as a short line. The result of this is that the myriads of points of which every object is composed are seen as lines, and there is therefore a greater or lesser blurring. Custom prevents the recognition of this imperfect vision, when the defect is slight, but the fault is seen at once when one looks through a glass so ground as to compensate for the ir regularity in the eye, for then the image is perceived with a distinctness and sharpness of outline that is a revelation. This astigmatism is often the cause of headaches, dizziness and other troubles which are unexpected and uncured until the oculist corrects the defect by properly fitted glasses. It would be well if every child who is backward in school, who shows a dislike of reading, or who complains of frequent headache, were taken to the oculist for an examination. It would be shown that many a ‘dull” child has a good brain, and that his disinclination to study is nature’s ef fort to save his eyes from overstrain. The eyes, like all other organs, suffer when the body is exhausted, and when one is fatigued the eyes should not be used for close work. Reading on a car or railroad-train is bad, for the constant oscillation puts a great strain on the eye which regu late accommodation. When reading or writing by arti ficial light, a shade over the eyes is to be recommended. In the daytime the light should fall on book or pa per from behind and a little to the left, to prevent shadows. One should never read or write for a long time continuously, but should look up oc casionally, across the room cr out of the window, to relax the strain on the eye muscles. Symptoms of eye strain are an un comfortable feeling, leading to re peated winking or rubbing of the eyes, secretion of tears, redness and itching of the lids, sties, falling of the lashes, a bloodshot condition and even headache. Bathing with cold water containing a pinch of salt will often give relief to “tired eyes,” but if the tiredness is persistent, it is a sign that glasses are needed. — Youth's Companion. NOT A PLUMBER BOBN. Pipes & Fassitt ran a busy shop. They had men out working the eight hour day in the Washington heights district. They had helpers out, too, at the regular rates. Monday morning had opened up with a rush. Joints were bursting, and bathtubs were flowing over. . Fassit generally followed up the jobs, seeing that they were covered. Pipes held the desk down and made out the bills. Presently the door pushed open, and a hardy looking young fellow came in. He handed a note to Mr. Pipes. Pipes read it. “Please, sir,” said the young fel low. “Don’t ‘please’ anybody here,” said Pipes. “Riley says you’re a good man and willing to work. Sid down !” The hardy looking young fellow sat for five minutes; then the tele phone rang. “Get that off the wire,” said Pipes. The young man got it. “It’s Mr. Silverburg that owns the big apartment house on St. Nicholas avenue. His star tenant complains of a leak in the ceiling from the floor overhead.” “You take that wrench and go over,” said Pipes. “Locate the floor. Get around to Congdon’s, where we’ve got a contract, and lift a helper. Go back and find the leak. Then report to me. Dou’t hurry too much.” The young man departed, returning in a couple of hours. “Nothing doing, Mr. Pipes,” he said. “The tenant overhead spilled some water in a corner of the kitchen. It ran under the sink and followed the pipe line to the floor below. That was all.” Pipes kept on making out bills. A uinety cent clock got along to 12 just as the noon whistle blew outside. Then Pipes rose up sadly. “Here’s sitting time,” he said. “Take the money. You’ll need it. A tenant imagines a leak. The own er wants to pay for repairing the leak. You were sent to find it. You failed. Some day you may be an angel, but you will never be a plumber. Good by !” — N. Y. Sun. Little Willie’s mother had been called away to see a sick relative. Before going she had a motherly talk with that hopeful. “You must be a good boy when I am away.” “Yesem.” “And not be lonely.” “Noem,” adding under his breath, “and I won’t wash my ears for a whole week.” “Man, ’ ’ declared the old fashioned preacher, “is a worm.” “And,” said a man who had been married three times and who was oc cupying a small space in a rear pew, “woman is the early bird.” The man who would rather be right than be president generally has his preference gratified. ESTABLISHED 1860. JOHNSON’S JAG. McCarty has a fondness for a joke. If a really glittering opportunity turns up, his well controlled con* : science is no obstacle to his devoting all the time necessary to the thorough t and artistic performance of his joke let, which is bad for business, but : seems to be good for McCarty’s di gestion. The other afternoou the telephone : rang. A woman was on the wire. She had the wrong number, which made no difference to McCarty. He was in need of relaxation, and the following one sided conversation en sued : "Yes —yes, this is humpty-umph steenseven Rector.” "Who? Mr. Johnson? Oh, yes, Mr. Johnson—sure,” he lied pleas antly. "Did you want to speak to him ?” inquired McCarty sweetly. "You’re sure it’s Mr. Johnson you want to talk to?” Here McCarty held his hand over the mouthpiece and forcibly admon ished the office boy, who, with hu mane intentions, had come to rescue the switchboard, suspecting trouble. "G’wannow! I’m doin’ this,” re marked McCarty, fixing the menial with an eagle eye. "Could you give me the message, ma’am, and I’ll deliver it to Mr, Johnson !” he resumed with engaging politeness. "Oh, you must speak to him per sonally if he is busy?” McCarty’s voice was an interrogation point. "You want Mr. Johnson himself to step to the telephone, and you are Mrs. Johnson ?” "Well, ma’am, you see he ain’t stepping much now—that is—l mean —he is—well—er—er”—He hesita ted in elaborate confusion. "Yes’m, I am explaining what’s the matter. He—well, you see, your husband would be willing to come to the telephone, but he isn’t exactly able.” "No, he’s not just what you’d call busy.” ‘‘No, he’s not ill. He’s doing nicely.” "We have ’im on the lounge in the directors’ room, and we’re doing all we can for him” — "Oh, no, ma’am, you needn’t be at all alarmed. He’s not able to walk yet, but we’ll soon have him all right.” "No, no—not ill. I say he’s not ill; he’s dr—that is, intoxicated, ma’am, but you needn’t —What’s that?” "You’ve never seen him intox — well, you ought to see him now. What?” “You—I’ll” "Oh. She’s rung off.” "Now, who in the deuce —who d’yer s’pose Mr. Johnson is, and what d’yer s’pose will be cornin’ to him when he gets home? Oh, gee!” And McCarty gurgled with joy as he swung back into his seat, and his typewriter clicked innocently out upon the office atmosphere.— N. Y. Pi ess. WHOLE VOTE. It is related of a certain candidate for office in a certain Kansas cam paign that he billed himself for a speech in a southern Kansas town on a certain October day and wrote ahead to a number of friends there to give him "tips.” One of them told him to see a cer tain colored man upon his arrival in the town. "If you can get the vote of this negro,” wrote the friend, "you can get the vote of the whole negro population in this town. Don’t fail to see him and get him to your way of thinking.” About the first thing the candidate did after registering at the hotel was to look up this negro. It was only a little while after the introduction that he was calling the negro by his given name, filling his pockets with cigars, passing him compliments and general ly "giving him the taffy.” The negro took it all and enjoyed the oc casion immensely. The candidate spent several hours in the negro’s company and after he thought the proper degree of warmth had been obtained broached the real object of bis friendship: "Say, John, I want the negro vote of this town.” "AH right,” replied John. "I’ll vote fo’ you, sah. I’ll vote fo’ you. I’m fo’ you, sah.” "That’s all right,” said the candi date. "That’s all right. I’m sure you will. But I want to have the whole negro vote of this town. I want to get all.” "Dat’s all right,” responded the negro. "I done said I’d vote fo’ you. I’m yo’ friend. I’ll suttinly cast ray vote fo’ you.” "But, say, John, I know that,” said the candidate. "See here, I’ll be frank. The fellows told me that you are a big man among the colored folks down here and that if I got your vote I’d get the whole negro vote in this place. Do you catch on ?” "Sho,” replied John. ‘‘Sho I do. You’ll git de whole niggah, vote, all right. Dey won’t be no trouble’bout dat, sah. You see, I’m de only nig gah in dis here whole town. ” — Mobile Register. The Massachusetts maid was in a romantic mood. "I am dreaming,” she murmured poetically, dreaming of the dear old Berksnire hills of my native state.” "Berkshires?” echoed the Chicago youth, somewhat bewildered. "Er — was your father In the pork raising business?” And the look that the Massachusetts maid gave him would have congealed radium. "I have here a device,” said the inventor, "to increase the speed of motor cars.” The patent attorney frowned and shook his head. "But what we really want,” said he, "is a device to increase the speed of the pedestrians who have to dodge them.”