\ V Y.'v' vM y > ■
»' \ The Truth. No Matter
Whom It Htlpe or Hurts.
Bis Dose of Deadly
Poison Saves Life of
8o Possibly They Can Save the
Life of the Nation In Washing
ton by Boosting the Tariffe to
the Highest Notch.
* I cheered everybody and surprised
everybody by announcing that the young woman would live, because she
had taken SO MUCH of the laudanum.
She bad taken more than her system could absorb, with the result
that moat of it had to be dispelled by the stomach.
The poison remaining in her was gotten out by means of a stomach
’■ ! pump, and the young lady may now think the matter over before trying
1 again to sever the silver chord.
So come on Mr. Aldrich, Mr. Cannon, Mr. Payne et al. f with your high
Make them good and high, the higher perhaps, after all, the better.
You have made a slight concession to the consumer here and there,
but we are not sure that you did not name the rates where you have made
concession simply to take them off again, with an idea that you could
deceive the people and President Taft along with them.
It is the total tariff on necessities we are going to look at. not that
upon one or two, and inasmuch as that total is going to show an increase,
judging from present indications, the higher you can make it, the better
for tariff reform and earlier the day of the tariff reformers in power.
Give us an overdose, gentlemen, more than the country’s system can
consume, and perhaps then the people will come in with the proper remedy
and heroic treatment to cheat you in your efforts to commit national sui
cide for them.
President Taft seems to be familiar with the national result of an
He has come to the fore, though very late in doing so, with the kind
of talk we jiave long had our ear to the gTound for and which we had
reason to expect earlier after his campaign utterances
In those speeches Mr. Taft evidenced a fear on his part that the
country had already been given more than it could swallow and have it sit
well on its stomach.
He declared last fall for precisely what he has called upon the con
ference committee now to deliver—revision downward where the tax repre
sents more than the difference in the cost of production at home and
Mr. Taft, of course, is a protectionist, but when this difference in the
cost of production is made, there the principle of the protective tariff must
end, even for those dyed-in«the-wool partisans whose interest in the tariff
has been the infant industries that are now big enough, thank you, to vote
and make others vote the same way.
We have never departed from a firm belief that Mr. Taft is an honest
man and that his intentions are good.
Still, the intention of many a father in the bringing up of an over
grown and wayward son have been just as good and the boy has gone to
Such a father learns too late that he should have ruled otherwise
than trying to do so by love and patience.
We believe Mr. Taft has a sense of justice in his make-up that tells’
» him that even the kind of a tariff he favors has been the means of build
ing up rich, powerful and corrupt interests in this country, and we believe
that he believes they should be curbed.
And yet we fail to hear him advocating that the goods which these
interests make and in which they have a monopoly should be put on the
They are American institutions, to be sure, and foreign-made goods
would come in to compete, but we hope the time has not yet arrived when
we are going to refuse to kick out an American who is a robber in prefer
ence to letting in a foreigner who is honest.
Perhaps when the robber is about to get the boot he will promise to
mend his ways, and perhaps if we were to threaten a few trusts by telling
them we intended to buy the goods they make in a foreign market, they
would condescend to back down from the prices they have put upon their
wares since crushing out competition in this country.
But we will not hear Mr. Taft calling for any such tariff bill.
He is afraid it would unsettle honest business, when the very life of
honest business depends upon getting business back upon an honest basis.
Mr. Taft is ultra-conservative.
That is his unfortunate nature as a president just at this time.
He lacks nerve.
And we are, therefore, of the opinion, that he is going to be disap
pointed in this extra session of congress, the same as the well-meaning
father is so often disappointed in his son because he neglects to use a gad. j
Aldrich, Cannon, Payne and the others are bad boys and Mr. Taft
’ isn’t a strict enough parent.
These men, however, are at work right now making tariff reformers.
They are fixing up a dose for the consumer with seeming disregard of
its sixe and which for all they know might prove fatal.
It will not, however, because the stomach of the body politic has its
limit the same as the human stomach and will dispel the dose.
So take heart if you are one of those who fear the country is beyond
j hope and that it is too late to call a doctor.
We will have to pay more to live, but only for a while, for just as
; iuxO as the tariff is nut revised downward, as the Republican platform was
interpreted to mean from the speeches of the party’s candidate for the
presidency, just so sure will a tariff reform party land in congress four
L_gein hence and a tariff reform president oeetipy the chair.
And the overdose of poison will have proved a life-saver.
Boost the tariffs, gentlemen!
The higher the better for the gTeat common people who pay the
freight, but who will soon be demanding reduced bills.
From Another Point of View
The Electric park roller toaster has gone out of business after many
ups and downs.
\• Y •
jj\ A general good roads movement In the south Is materially helped by
the presence of several night riders in jail.
If Mark Twain is losiug his sense of humor, it' is Just possible it has
1 b< * a necessary of late for him to buy a loaf of bread.
• • •
If Harry Thaw wanted 20 tons of Ice at the present price, thev can
come In with a verdict that he Is hopelessly insane.
• • •
A Philadelphia woman carried out the request of her husband and
; tossed his ashes into the sea. That’s faithfulness brought down to the
fc finest point.
L • • •
► A Philadelphia woman leaving Atlantic city attempted suicide b<*-
; cauaa. the said, she had "lost God.” This woman shouldn't have become
|filacouraged over that fact before looking elsewhere tnan Atlantic City.
• • •
The postoffice department has received an »nrder for 2,500.000 postal
f cards, the largest In the history of the department. This insures plenty of
Madia# matter the next few weeks for poatmastera.
Following a quarrel with. her
lover, a Detroit young woman at
tempted suicide by swallowing tour
drams of laudanum.
A doctor was summoned, but little
hope of saving the young woman's
life was entertained as she had taken
a big dose of the poison.
When the doctor arrived he
Editorial Page of The Detroit Times |
A man in Butler, Mo., has been catcnmg fish in his parlor during the recent flood. One of them weighed 32
pounds—at least that is what HE says.—News Item.
By IV, Halt IVhitt
To Strong, indeed., th*» complete
overthrow of the kaiser was already
an accomplished fact aiul therefore
the way lay clear for him to complete
his plans for the total subjugation of
the world. Russia, by his possession
of the czarev.ith, lie practically held tn
the hollow of his hand; Germany on
I the morrow would be his willing ally •
France could not afford to f t and alone,
and tiu strict neutrality of Great lint
ain was at b ast assured.
That left only the United States to
be considered, and Strong, for the
time, ruled them out of the question.
\\#n he had enforced on Europe the
general regime of peace and reform
which Ik* was slowly evolving, it
would be tme to see that America
fell into H ie with the rest of the civ
By 3 o'clock in the afternoon he
bad practically completed all his ar
rangements, and toward 4 o'clock M.
Stalvln. Gen. Martel and Arbuthnot
gathered in his room for brief cor
t ultation before each man went to his
Even at that busy time Strong dil
not forget hi.* debt of gratitude to th ?
♦ ditor of the Daily Wireless, and. send
ing for Miss Hunt, he gave her the
outline of his campaign, with full per
mission to use it as she chose.
He knew that it could not be cabled
back to Germany until too late to
serve any uveful purpose theie. l/>ng
1 efore Strong s final announcement on
the affairs of the world »ould reach
the kaiser the kaiser would be at
grips with him above Bomberg.
There was a certain uneasiness
about the town, for rumors had got
about as *o the approach of the Ger
mans. To allay as fnr as possible ail
public anxiety. Strong ward nightfall
issued a proclamation calling on th*»
people to put their trust in him and
to remain tranquil during the coming
He explained that th*> coming en
gagement would be short, sharp and
decisive, and that at the close of the
coming battle Balkama would, under
his dictatorship, be at the head «f tho
affairs of th* world.
He even thought it as well to tahe
the people into his confidence to the
extent of telling them that the battle
could well be watched from the Morn
This he did. partly with the desire
tn drain the eltv of its population a i
much as he could in the morning, for
the reason that the fewer people there
were In Bomber# the c.isi -r he won !
be able to deal with them from a dis
ciplinary point of view.
As dark set In he sent to the prin-
THE MINSTREL MIDGETS.
"l/M)ka-heah. flartu*. What am do flUf renc* atwwn tleooratill a
1 Kal'x hat an' cuttin' a bald-hauled man * hair?’
j "Well, what am It?"
"Why, one vo' katnt trim too fine, an' de odder yo' kalnt fin' to trim.
| Kyah. eyah, eyah!"
"We will now warble dat pa ft* tic ballad, ‘Honey, Es Alt Wina Yo' l<ove,
1 Yo' Kin Hab it Right Rack."
Fine Flood in Missouri
Can You Imagine a More Delightful Way of Whiling Away a Summer Afternoon at Home?
King Herod Lived Too Soon
Nowadays He Would Be Quite a Respectable Citizen.
Light has beeu cast on the deceitful
employer who works little children lu
iiis factory or shop, by the National
Child Labot committee of New York.
This modern variety of lawbieake**,
figures shew, takes more children s
lives out of their bodies and joy out
of the lives of those who survive than
did Kin.; Herod when he ruled u
Syria with his corps of associate child
Herod used to kill children with
sharp swords, we are told. l>eaiu
came to them suddenly.
Suppose King Herod were ID'fig 1 h
♦lay. Woulu lie shoot down children
with galling guns? (Galling guns
weren’t invented in Herod’r day, or
he probably would have used ‘hem.)
No, wo don’t think that this would
appeal to Herod, who was consum
mate in his cruelty. He rather would
own a planing mill, a glass factory or
a chain of bookblack stauds wbero
he could get parents to send their
cess* rooms, asking her permission f“r
a few minutes’ interview, and directly
afterward the messenger returned,
saying that Diana would be very giad
to receive him.
Diana, naving been utterly worn
out. had spent practically the whole
of the day in slumber, and now she
looked rosy and refreshed.
As she . ame forward to meet him
Strong felt a little embarrassed. There
was muc h that It was necessary to
say and a good deal that required
some delicacy of expression.
And to the last Strong's luck held
good, for toward 7 o'clock he receiv
ed a message from the ‘‘Di’" which
was then on the westward, that Thur
ston had observed four aeroplanes ap
proaching at a great speed from tho
Strong ordered (’hurston to continue
cruising in his circle until he had
fetched up behind the larger airships.
Then he commanded the •‘Victor” and
h**r sister airships to move rapidly
toward the oncoming enemy.
Within ten minutes time Strong
could see the enemy appronchlng, and
then what happened came about so
swiftly that Strong. In after days, was
hard put to it to remember all details
of the fight.
He had felt pretty certain when the
kaiser had acquiesced at Potsdam to
the arrangement which practically
amounted to settling the affairs of the
world by single combat, that his ma
jesty tjiust have placed reliance on
the capacities of the airships with
which he proposed to dispute Strong's
Hut though he Had fors»-en this.
Strong was foj a second utterly taken
aback by the forces which w.*re sud
denly arrayed against him. In tn**
twinkling of ail eye lie realized tliuL
the aeroplanes were sailing as ty 1
not faster, than his own air craft. They
came on with a curious rising and
children to work for him. If he waa
sufficiently slick —ami history shows
that he was slick as well ns atiptrsti
tious—Hcrcwi would probably biioe a
factory inrfector or two, kick aliulgUt
ily if child labor laws wer-; c msider
ed in the Mate where he live.!, and se
ctetlv send his lobbyists ami lawyer*
to fleht the child labor laws.
Then Herod, being in tne child-kill
ing business on a wholesale scale,
would Rtt rich fast, for that Is why
children are worked in factories and
on the streets at night. Ekcutually
Herod would becomo a plutocrat, get
his name in the society columns and
go down to Washington on a vacation
to help • revise" the tariff.
We hear a lot about cheap lal>or
and hi;gh protection nowadays, out
mighty lit tit about cheap cnlld lau.'r
by the big employers.
King H< rod lived in a day of swift
retribution. Nowadays employers
teem to be luckier.
dipping and rising motion suggestive
of the Might of a swallow.
Strong signalled 15,000 feet, and the
"Victor." the "State,” the "Balkania"
and the "Princess" rose like rockets.
And so great was the pace of the on
coming areoplanes that they shot past
There had been no time to steer so
that the airships could be maneuvered
above the aeroplanes, and they passed
each other harmlessly by without so
much as an exchange of shots.
As the aeroplanes rushed past b>
neath him Strong ordered his own air
ships to stop dead. Through the glass
es he took a rapid survey of the foe.
The aeroplanes were of a descrip
tion which he had uever expected to
see. Each of them had three sets of
wings fashioned like the wings of a
swift, which apparently worked easily
backward and forward and up and
down from slots placed in the body.
The bodies were of immense length
—Strong guessed about 200 feet —
while the wings, from tip to tip, must
have been 300 feet across.
Strong watched their flight keenly
to ascertain the best means of meet
ing them, and he saw at once that his
own forces were'ut any rate superior
But though the kaiser's aeroplanes
were steady and turned about, they
turned cmnbrously and heavily, where
as Strong could turn his airships in
their own length.
But what followed the turning of
the aeroplanes was so sudden and so
astonishing that Strong was for the
moment disarmed. The aeroplanes be
gan to climb swiftly into the sky until
they had reached some 15,000 feet.
Strong decided not to put up his
own airships until he had been able lo
grasp the motive of the extraordinary
Werttttrm of the enemy, for he recog
nized that to have put his own air
ships up would be to challenge the
Hermans to a trial of endurance. It
would simply have been a question of
whether he or the kaiser could reach
the greater elevation.
Perplexed and momentarily anxious,
Strong watched and waited for the ces
sation of the aeroplanes’ ascent.
The enemy's aeroplanes were a!>cut
five miles distant, and appeared as
dots only in the sky. Then they were
quickly tilted to an obtuse angle, ami
descended toward Strong, who was
then at an elevation of about 10,OIK)
They then came hurtling down
through space like boats on a water
chute, only at a velocity whtrh made
Strong hold his own breath to think
in wonderment that mortal rnan could
dive at such a speed through space.
There was little time, however, for
astonishment; for scarcely before ho
understood their Intention the aero
planes were upon him.
Strong ordered the airships to dive
in the opposite direction to the oncom
ing aeroplanes. And Just In the nick
of time the "Victor" and her sister
airships swept beneath the hurtling
aeroplanes. It was an exceedingly nar
flu It* Cnntlnnnl.l
One knot equals a mile and an
Famous Gems of Prose
THE LAST HOURS OF WEBSTER.
By Edward Everett.
From a Mpe.-jti in Kgneull Hall. Oct. 27, IKiit.
Among thy many memorable words
which fell trom the lips v«f our fr.cml
just before they were closed forever,
the moat remarkable are those which
have been quoted by a previous speuk
er, —“1 atill live.” They attest the
serene composure of u's mind; the
Christum heroism with which he was
able to turn his consciousness In upon
himself, and explore, step by step the
dark passage (dark to u*. but to him,
ve trust, already lighted from above),
which Conner ta this world with the
world to come. But I know not what
words coul 1 liuve been better chosen
to express his relation to the wot Id
he was leaving—“l still live." Tills
poor dust la just returning to the dust
from which It was taken, but I feel
that I live iu the affections- of the
people to whose service 1 have conse
crated my days. “I still live.**
The icy hand of death is already
laid on my neart, but I shall still live
iu those words of counsel which I
have uttered to m.v fellow-citizens, ami
which 1 now leave them as the last
bequest of a dying friend. In the
long and honored career of our lament
ed friend, there are efforts and tri
umphs which will hereafter fill one of
the brightest pages of our history. But
I greatly err If the closiug scene—the
height of the religious sublime—does
not. in the judgment of other days, far
transcend Iti interest the brightest ex
ploits of public life. Within ' that
"Anyone will throw a drownin' man
a life preserver—in case one don't
need it oneself."
Some | eople ure confusing the tarifl
l>!ll With the Taft Bill.
Mary hud a little lamb.
Its wool was long and kinky.
And when twas sheared the lamb ap
In size Just twice us dinky.
Not u few persons consider Aldrich
the greatest statesman of the age.
But not lives in Rhode Is
Chicago woman paid Sr*2 "* for a dog
in London, whh h doesn't at all prove
that dogs are scarce in Chicago.
Said he: Young Smythe and Miss
Browne are evidently in love with
Said sne: Judging by the way they
look at each other?
Said he: No; judging by the way
Paying for His Little Fad
It's nice to have fads, but one must
always bear in mind that they had to
be tfaid for. For instance: A party
of high-browed gentlemen In Philadel
phi have accepted the notion that it is
right and proper and an excellent way
of relieving the monotony of city life,
to freely speak to strangers on the
street or wherever one is met.
These reformers declare that our
conventionality is responsible for the
unacquaintance of many people who
should know each other. They con
tend that an unattached man upon
seeing a lady who appears to be un
married should have the privilege of
addressing her, and. if mutually
THE EVERETT TRUES ENJOY A VACATION
IN THE WOODS—No. 3.
i s£2 f*£#CTT? Corf £
$ sip 7/t*s£ r/sm *o\*f /'vc tor fV ; V * w
ft* *LL 7»e Kii
Wy #£sr or r/rr work #hd I ? r y
Wednesday, July 21,
darkcued chamber of Ms rah field was
witnessed a scene of which we shall
not readily find the parallel. The
serenity with which he stood iu the
presence of the king of terrors, with
out trepidation or flutter, for hours
and days of expectation; the thought*
fulness for the public busluess, when
the sands were so nearly run out; the
hospitable c ire for the reception of
the friends who came to Marshfield;
that uffeciioiiate ami solemn leave
separately taken, name by name, of
wife and children nnd kindred and
friends und family, down to the hum
blest members of the household; the
designation of the coming day, then
near at hand, when “all that was
mortal of Daniel Webster should ceaso
to exist’" the dhnly-recollected strains
of the funeral poetry of (Jray; the last
faint Hash of the soaring Intellect; the
feebly-murmured words of Holy Writ
repeated from the lips of the good
physician, who, when all resources of
human art had been exhausted, had a
drop of spiritual balm for the parting
soul; the clasped hands; the dying
pravers. Oh; my fellow-citizens, this
Is a consummation over which tears
of pious sympathy will be shed ages
after the glories of the forum axnl
the senate are forgotton.
His sufferings cn h-d with the day.
Vet lived h#* ,tl its dune;
And breathed the long, tong night
In *t:»tu»*-l!k«* repose.
they io! 't look at anybody else.—Lou
Even if Walter Wellman doesn't
succeed in discovering the north pole,
he will hpve had the benefit of a lot
About ihree-fourtlu of the world’*
cotton supply comes from this coun
"What’s a bard?" v
“I've seen the word frequently la
1 rinr ”
"Oh. yea. Why, a bard is a poet
who won't work steadily."—Washing
The weight of the diamonds export
ed each year from the Cape is about
three-quarters of a ton.
To keep a label on u tin box, varo
ish over ihe top of it.
in one way that was a strange hap
pening m Philadelphia. House col
lapsed upon 33 occupants, not one ol
whom v as asleep ut the time.
Some diabetics have no coutrol cf
hunger or thirst; will even eat a cake
At 11 ir season of the year more
actors ere going to star this fall than
you ever dreamed of. And you won’t
have to wake up. either, to find out
that mere than half of them aren’t
Thunder sours milk and kills lob
sters in shallow box* s near the sea
surface Germs may do this killing
Russia's prisons are constructed to
hold 90,000 prisoners. Over 180,000
are now lodged In them.
1 agreed, becoming her friend upon such
This is interesting and may have
i some justification, but. us has been
said, fads must be paid for. One of
the reformers tried the fad upon a
pretty girl at Atlantic City within tho
, week The girl's brother, big of mus
cle if small of mind, seized said re
former. stretched his body prostrate
upon the walk and iKillshed his shoes
on the sent of the Philadelphia gen
: tlemnn’s trousers.
The reformer felt outraged, and
thought the brother a stupid and bru
tal fellow. A cop came alone to de
cide the argument. The faddist spent
| a night in jail, and paid a $»5 fine.
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