Fr would rather have the good will and aid of a newa
fimor with a circulation of 30,000 that It takon homo and
road in tho family, than to havo that of ono with a circu
lation of a million that la only looked at and thrown into
tl»d gutter.—MAYOß OAYflOff, OF NgW YORK.
A FORTUNE FROM LYING ADS; NOT
K ’ TfROM SUGAR , SA LT AND VV ATER
F- 1 ■
WUt officials believe to be the biggest iwindle ever successfully
in this oountry was uncovered in Detroit Wednesday when Piote-
Mtzuv Shepherd raided the office* of Prof. Henry Samuel*, arreated the
ftaientr and seixed samples of a solution of sugar, salt and water being
Vaold to the public at $9 per two ounce*. !
BThi* “remedy” wa* »old to the piofessor’s patient* for the cure of
' eveiy disease, with three exception*, from heart trouble to tuberculosis.
PlTo matter what the ailment, the professor claim* a cure will be
I affected by placing a few drops in the eye three or four times a day.
The professor has found buyers for his sweetened, salty water.
Kl They have come for so much of it that the professor has accumulated
property enough to secure a rating in Bradstreet's from $350,000 to
|sHis receipts average from $12,000 to $16,000 monthly.
He employs 30 helpers, including 25 stenographers, rides around in a
big touring car and maintains his wife and daughter at the Hotel Pont
Four hundred thousand dollars from sugar, salt and water?
Receipts of $16,000 monthly from sugar, salt and water?
Maintenance of a family in the Pontchartrain and a touring car df
their disposal, on sugar and salt and water?
Aren’t people gullible, though?
I t It is this way, dear reader.
People ARE gullible.
Some, however, are more gullible than others.
For instance, when it oomes to buying a fake medicine, sick people
are more gullible than well people.
The regrettable part of this sugar and salt and water swindle is not
that this fakir has piled up a fortune, lives in a fine hotel and has a tour
ing oar for himself and family.
It lies in the fact that this fortune has been amassed at the expense
of the very last persons who could afford to part with $5 bills and who
know little themselves about fine hotels and the inside of touring cars.
But saddest of all comes the thought that the poor and the siok who
P*rt with their good money for these fake cures, and thereby become not |
oaly poorer but sicker, nine times out of 10, are really the victims of un-1
•crapulous newspapers who introduce the fakes into their homes.
Samuels made a fortune out of sugar and salt and water because he
was able to buy space in newspapers not only willing but eager to recom
mend his snide solution as a cure for nearly every ill known to the human
Denied the columns of at.t. newspapers and fakirs this man’s kind
would either have to go to work at something honest or apply for a ticket
to the poorhouse.
Samuels had not as yet used the Detroit newspapers who are in the
business of introducing sugar, salt and water and other cure-alls to their
readers at $2.50 an ounce.
At the time of his arrest he was just getting settled in Detroit and
about to launch a n*mp*ign here similar to the one he conducted in
Kansas where he was protected by newspapers as “big copy.”
Prosecutor Shepherd is to be commended and the sick people of De
troit congratulated Upon the fact that Samuels was nabbed before having
begun the use of full-page newspaper advertising.
Bamuels was driven out of Kansas.
The Journal of the American Medical association has exposed him,
and he is listed in “Nostrums and Quackery,” but these publications the
poor and the sick do not see.
The side of the medioal fakirs is printed exclusively and in big type
in newspapers whioh accept their advertising and which it is the mis
fortune of the poor and the sick to take in their homes.
The lying olaim of the fake advertisement is the straw to these at
which drowning people will grab.
. The newspaper that would accept the money of Samuels and his kind
We have to liken to the man who would throw a straw to a drowning per
son with a life preserver at hand.
A farmer near Corning whoae aon
vii an applicant for a position under
tba government. but who had been re
peatedly turned down, laid: “Well,
jfc’a hard lock, but John has missed
the civil service again. It looks like
“they Jumt won’t have him.”
L “What was the trouble?**
* “Well, be was short on spellin’ and
geography and missed purty fur In
is he going to do about it?”
•*I dunuo. Times Is mighty bard and
f reckon he’ll have to go back to
.teaching school for a living.”—The
Cftnlng (Kan.) Gazette.
Circulation of Oratory.
On one occasion Senator Tidmar.
. was ao much pleased with a speech be
made that he printed it in pamphlet
c *T congratulate you,” Senator Bai
ley said, a few days after, “on that
speech which you have circulatec as
A pamphlet. 1 happened to sec one
this morning, and It contained &onie
of the best things I have ever seen
la any pamphlet on that subject.”
“I am very proud to hear you say
[po,” said Tillman, much gratified.
“Bugs” Adolf Defiantly Resigns—and Meets His Successor - *By Condo
“ "' ' ,UL /"adolf, You arc QuecttiN c f h*. Ttfue, my ''x |P™ >,^ ,B,>,l^sr^7 r ALL. thcn —— —You* Success
L OVR PCNNANT CHANCES* * xAM \ \ <*OOT> 'RIDGANCe' V MR. 3KY«ACKf J I OOM <D UKC )} / .R
V Ytov’ve <sot tv stgady down; jof chob anyhow, unz> I . V mww You ) S, JX)T FELLOW* f\\ / H
IS TNG «F YOU CAN FI NO A PITCNGR J SO/ M6CT KITTY, KITTY— X
“What were the things that pleased
you so much?”
“Why,” explained Bailey, “as I
passed the senate restaurant f his
morning I saw a girl come out Into
the corridor with two cherry' pies
wrapped up in it.” —Popular Magazine.
You esn save a great deal of fuel
during a cold winter by shutting up
your house and going to Florida.
Inculcate in your children a fond
ness for birds. Build a pigeon-house
on your bam or woodshed. Pigeons
come handy too for pot-pies.
If you live In a rented house do not
throw your empty botles up In the
attic and leave them there. They
Will be a dead give-away on you when
the next renter moves In.
Every young married woman should
beg.n early to impress upon her hus
banu that It is his duty to make the
fires, wind the clock and put the cat
If you keep a volume of poetry on
the parlor table, see that the leaves
are cut. —Chicago Tribune.
About 8,000,000 men are employ ed In
regular occupations In Great Britain.
Editorial Page of The Detroit Times
. SAY, OFFICE*. SOMk
V #CNT UP THC LIM£
IS AU. exCITCO
*£R THIS SOUTH
*OLt AFFAIR. YOU
KTltft LOOK AFTER
From Another Point of View
However, there Isn't much news in tho fact that the Pere Marquette is
o o o o
By the way. wouldn’t this be a good time to take the census of Mexico
at little expense?
• • • o
Which prompts us to suggest that the American league season and the
bullhead season open about simultaneously.
We should think his hat *fas in the ring.
Whereupon they proceed to stir up the coffee trust,
“Let the other fellows do *the* worrying,” says Col. Roosevelt. And
everybody on the other side appears* to be Aolng It.
• • • •
Charles M. Schwab rescued a man from drowning in a pool. Schwab
appears to be Johnny-on-the-spot wherever there la a pool.
• • * •
A national plan la on foot to Index the notorious crooks, like the
pages of a book. Rut wouldn't this plan aid them, after all. In keeping
• • • e
Secretary Wilson says Job would be lust the man to take his place as
head of the agricultural department. Job Js a dead one, but might be an
improvement at that.
• • • •
Doctors In Sacramento operated upon a woman and found In her
stomach the following article#: One hundred and eight wire hair pins,
65 open safety pins, 21 broken pins, five prune pita, 23 button*, three
collar buttons, 13 nails, three screw eyes, 40 tacks, one staple an Inch
long, five parts of teaspoons. 426 broken pieces of hair pins, one piece of
string, one piece of thread, 104 unidentified odda and ends, mostly metal,
nine .parts of combs and 280 smalla pins. What baffles the scientists, no
doubt, is whether the woman swallowed a chlffonnler or a tool chest.
Reflections of a Bachelor
The hardest thing is to pay taxes
and be a patriot.
Moqey can rr/»lt Jn your pocket
taster than butter In your mouth.
A woman seems able to see all of
her figure in a looking-glass that Is
around the comer.
The reason a girl can smile to
three men in a group and make each
one of them think it was meant for
him Is it was for still another one
behind them. —New York Press.
A Case of Emphasis.
What keeps us broke most of the
time la the difference between what
ve have to spend and what we have
OUR PRECISE ARTIST
“A vacuum cleaner.”
Prices and Confidence Rise
Price* of flour, pork, beef, coffee,
ate., are nearly one-fifth higher than
on April Ist.
Big business Is gaining confidence
In Its ability to beat Bob LaFollette
and Woodrow Wilson.
Canada, looking forward to the time
when her need for timber will be
much greater than
It now is, has or
ganized a conser
and appointed as
Clyde Leavitt, who
for many years
was conne ct ed
with the U. S. for
• t •
of London refused
to sentence a wo
man for a minor
she is a woman,”
“My wife usually tears her hair
whenever I come home late.”
“Walch makes you feel mean, eh?”
“Yes. and *hlch also makes It
necessary for me to buy more hair.”
AND MONDAY IIAV CAII #|f.Tf|l|rT AND MONDAY
AT BOTH STORES |f|n I OHLL U I B UILL I AT BOTH STORES
ARTICLES, DRUGS AND MEDICINES
This sale, coming just at the opening of the season, offers an exceptional opportunity
to lay in a supply at these money-saving prices. Fresh goods just received from the best
known manufacturers all over the world. READ THE LISTS AND CHECK OFF THE
ARTICLES YOU USE—COME FOR THEM SATURDAY OR MONDAY.
£l| FREE 2
I HOLD - I
50c Colgate’s OAf*
Cold Cream, lb.
$1.50 Oriental ‘QQf*
50c Wyeth’* Bage
Hair Stain OOC
25c Sanitol Tooth Powder
TOOTH BRUSHES. HAIR BRUSHES, LATHER BRUSHES, BATH BRUSHES
25c Rubber-Set A£■
Tooth Bruehee dCZDC
Tooth Brushes SwswC
25c Wearwell Tooth M***
25c Wire Drawn 4 4 -
Tooth Bruehee A"Vv
25c Prophylactic 4
Tooth Brushes ■ 4 rv
9to 11 a. in.,
3 for 10c
but the funeral pleased him
The Quarrel Between Two Astron
omers Ended Happily for One.
Dr. George E. Hale of the Carnegie
Observatory on Mount Wilson de
scribed In Pasadena a quarrel be
tween two eastern astronomers. “It
wag a bitter and lifelong quarrel,” he
said. "It was founded on my own
specialty, the sun spot. Many harsh
things were said in this quarrel, and
at its height the older of the two as
tronomers died. A day or two after
ward a friend said to the survivor:
‘So your old enemy is dead, eh? Do
you intepd to go to the funeral?’ ‘No,
I don’t,*' was the reply. But I ap
prove of it.’ ” —Life.
THE LETTER EXPLAINS IT.
Dear Son—Received your letter
asking for some money to spend on
a swell chicken that you’ve had your
eyes on for some time. Money is
scarce, so I'm sending one right from
the old farm, and I bet it’s as good
as the one you’ve seen, toe-nails up.
VJt 1/Ttscr ■ vr.
139 WOOfwaRD WOOOWAVI*-'
IN BMUSMtt n COS MW/yt* A |
Over 20 styles
50c Hay’s Hair OQtf*
SI.OO Liaterine 63 C
thymotine ■ W*
25c Peroxide of Hydrogen,
Pound m O**
35c Witch Hazel,
50c Pint Imported OO#*
Bay Rum Ovv
25c Rose Water and and
and Glycerine... XJL w
$1.50 Ebony Back f | Q
$1.25 208 G. A W. Q 4 r
Hair Brushes O*TC
*i»3ksi3 *3" ci nn
Hair Brushes X ■wW
75c Hair Brushes, /\ A r
35c Value Whisk 9 1
Brooms 77.. 4m X C
~ —— in»m Volt Storm
g£g IS9 ttOaflwAßD AVE/?2OS WOODWirfb AVE SSfcg
MWIB IMMJkvIMiC MIIDIM // COR ORANr*y«R«VI mr'-fy
These Girls of Ours
British suffragettes are advocating u
boycott. For consistency's sake, why
not a girlcott?—Chicago News,
The Stenographer—You are not
making enough to keep a cat.
The Bookkeeper—Then I won’t ask
you to share my lot. —Chicago New 3.
A woman sued for di
vorce because her husband was not
tall enough to suit her. Most of the
men who are sued for divorce are too
short. —Chicago Record-Herald.
A woman will tote around two
street car tickets and a powder rag
in & handbag that cost $37.49.—0hi0
Our idea of a happy marriage is
where the husband always w'aiits to
kiss the wife when he leaves home
and the wife wants to kiss the hus
band when he comes back. —Dallas
“Make your figure over, if you’re
not satisfied with it,” says a woman
writer on fashion, and "Everybody’s
Doing It.” —Philadelphia Inquirer.
Women get so little because they
expect so much. —New York Press.
Men do not admire the kind of com
plexions the girls keep on the dresser
when they are at home. —Toledo
Chairman (addressing a meeting)—
"I am sure wo will be very sorry our
secretary is not here tonight. I can
not say we miss is vacant chair, but
I do 3ay we miss is vacant face.”—
50c Pompeian 9Cga
25c Romera’a 9
Peroxide Cream. XmV
25c Premier and and
Cold Cream..... XX v
75c Harmony CO
Cold Cream O«/ U
50c Dr. Charles’ m _
Flesh Food mm X C
50c Dr. Charles’ . m
Face Powder.... XwrC
50c Java Rice m
Powder mm JL w
Eau de Quinine.. v9v
These Razors are being distributed to
demonstrate that this is the Best Shav
ing instrument made.
You’ll say it’s worth O C
$5.00. NOW OUU
Friday, May 24,
We Cut the
75c Pinaud’s A
Lilac Vegetal.... *Krv
Hair Re- q* m ry r
generator... 9 X
25c Imported Violet _
15c Harmony m _
Glycerine Soap.. JLVrlie
25c Violet or Arbutus
Powdsr A ■ v
25c Oakley’s Cory- 4 *fl 4*
lopsis Talcum... XJp V
SI.OO Lather Brushes, QA^
75c Lather Brush, PA.
50c Lather Brush, AQ .
Genuine Rubber Bet... v
$1.25 Removable Han- QA^
die Bath Brushes VsIC
SI.OO Flexible Leather PA.
Back Cloth Brush..... 99C
9 to 11 a. m.,
2 cans 11c
PREVENTING A PANIC.
An Actor Tells the Audience Why
They Shouldn’t Be Alarmed.
One night at a theater some scenery
took fire, and a very perceptible odor
of burning alarmed the spectators. A
parnic seemed to be Imminent when an
actor appeared on the stage. "Ladles
and gentlemen," he said, "compose
yourselves. .There is no danger." The
audience did not seem reassured.
“Ladles and gentlemen.” continued
the comedian, rising to the necessities
of the occasion, "confound it all—do
you think If there was any danger I’d
be here?" The panic collapsed.
"How fat and veil your little boy
"Ah, you should never judge from
appearances. He's got a gum boil on
one side of his face and he has been
stung by a wasp on the other.” —Pele
VERY MUCH AFFECTED.
“What were your emotions when
you recognized your old sweetheart in
a moving picture scene?”
“A film came before my eyes!”
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