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gfaet •peculation is already being indulged in as just
Im to do as tlio strongest nation on the globe if the greatest army and the greatest nary and the leading Trn*h newspaper—Paris Figaro—-is fearful ksxaany in ease of triumph over the allies, will dis ud French navies, command the seas, squelch the onepolise tire trade of the world, id, there ""*"•* to us a suggestion from a reader which Mis of the Paris editor and any fears that might be ernes at home. O ■Mlfl e Lt Qroat Britain, Franco, ftuoola and Qormany aro Ed by • long war, both In respect to carrying on a big |Eng, freeh combatant, and aa to food, clothing and iKuaeJe Sam, finding these powers In this condition. Rip the men, the money and the food. Now, all r militarism. (Hemantle your battloohipo and to tho propor point of providing your quota of loiont to pcooorvo peace throughout tho world, f my navy and army and we’ll almply police low and order. The overiaatlng arming and sign fellow-Chrlatlana la not only loading to a ly tho heathen, but It la coating mo hundroda and your prooont war ahowa mo that I’ve got douoo aa an Innocont bystander. And I’ll lick t come Into my peace pool I” .^Kretpon dent anticipate* a United State* of the World, which BSbwHSJ little distance off, but as near at hand a* sea* and trade after this war by any country now at war. M other words, gentlemen, its g. MUST AS EASY AS ROLLING OFF A LOG Mayor Marx is on a tour of the United States. B f 8a Mope* the tour will benefit his administration. W It ri«ki to. f. .the mayor has his polioe commissioner with him to do hi* talking Wmf from bm» and this should help the administration quite a bit J ’■With his police commissioner. Mayor Marx stopped off in Pittsburgh, the two investigated the matter of vice elimination, f f They visited the morals efficiency bureau, introduced themselves to ißjMman, said they had heard Pittsburgh had cleaned up its tender wanted to know how it had been done. BFtho dmlrman of the bureau was affable and oourteous as all city Brills visited by ?n**»i* from another city usually are, and oanoealed Bpring from his inquisitors. I [" He claimed no patent rights for Pittsburgh. f “Jk will tell you gentlemen how we went about it here to stamp out Pfrfaed vioe, from which there have been none of the evil after-effects I* often offered as an argument against elimination. ” The mayor and the polioe commissioner were all attention. I **We did it,* continued and oonoluded the chairman of the morals Kflrianey bureau of a cleaned-up city, “BY CLOSING EVERY DISREPU IXfiSLE RESORT IN THE CITY.* V Ahem! Valuable Discipllna. . "The first thine I want 70a to do fr school/* said Farmer Corntosael to his son. “Is to try to join a glee club." **Why, you never seemed to care . much about my music.** "1 don't pretend to be any Judge. But I want you to have a fair show. I*ve looked those young men over an* I’ve got an Idea that when they get through with you you'TT either sing or guit tryln’.* —Washington Star. I Osgar and Adolf—At Their Merry Pranks Drtp OUGHT Tfc INTERCUT M3U. AI>OLPM. S NONSENSE'.HCS -DEAD. BUT TMSSJ VELL, OCTTs DCP POINT. LOOK VOT HC A V V ;l •AllHMJie ♦« ringing iahtm the glorifying or bonaaarte _y ©nr ocr Austrians at austtrlitx. j - )/ wo ybt mxir n i BATTLE SOHSS OF OUGHT Tb GET 'tOUR GOAT, AT JEIiA, AT UIAQRAM. OOWT , >/ CHWK3 DC*T FLUSH I *■ you UIAGS AN AOSTR/AW, y , AT «*KAMEL CP v - J 7=y~7 —-t-n -rTr V "g**™* ~. ■j| '(TUeSDAY*'') ( 1 ° < * r,N \ C" ■ % &X% 1 /' r/J J <V*. £/j; *77 ;,£7 ?*W V C?-/x‘J'7,>i'*-*• 7 f „ s d7l - '7‘ 4 * 7 V* j > r> „* vfY? ";*4fV 1 i* i .v :*■£*’ 4= 7^7>vy‘* \*** ,** ;/,£ 7*\\£i,r*** • *\77Y ; I *\ l 4 ri?*"V' *i,'’ 7/£ 4 /.7,'jlV*7>a'^ **l*t%* *j.«- 7iX'^' Vi v i”» ~*- j ‘i£ 7 l *"'^" > •’J ,i 1 \ 1 /' j v-£,^^7 7 ,7,;^^* ! V t*\^-*s,i* 5, i ►■'*_*'* #>7Vt-> mggmms paper 1 r ° ll i ;iur » • u 16 jubn a illlliliiflr President. President HHtIOKN. Tr®tt»ur*r. IwBJ.Vi. Scvi «ury Kts • month. IJ.OO a y®*r. By mall. Hi AawartmenU Olra Uubscrtptlon orders or complaint* or up to • p. ■oil kc second -claaa mall in altar BromT cigarette advertising or false or tiling cf on objettumallc nature ■ is printed with full confidence in the miter cmd the truth of the representations Miser a favor if they will promptly report EfiiOf fa make pood any representation I Y RIGHT NOW ABOUT \rmyand navy—not Quick's argument ought to pretty near army and a bigger navy, particularly at HHK countries engaged in the present conflict HHK some years to come after this war is over. will have gotten their stomachs full and position to fight should it want to. if the war is going to be the supremacy of the m tins of the Seas'* and high oock of the walk in Expert. Owing to th shallowness of a cer tain harbor, the ships trading to and from it have to be built with a light draught Commenting on this fact one day. a facetious Individual remarked to the skipper of a steamer: **l reckon, captain, you would think nothing of running, your ship across a meadow on a dewy night 7** “Nothing at all.** came the reply; “though, to make sure. 1 might send a man ahead with a watering-can.** THE DETROIT TIMES OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE • iJhen i hand \ jT Y&U A TeN OOCC4R BlcC\ • y DON'T STOP TO ASK /we IF \ •♦ l tr*3 THs s/H*.<.esr iVe g-ot! ) .*1 ■r's op to you to soc ) 0 . * tS TWAT YOU H4U6 cnouch / Jo« V CHAN<2& TO Do / r. From Another Point of View Missouri has a cow which last yoar produced 23,492. It seems that oven the cows out that way have to show ’em. e e e Next column to war news wo find that Arisons will put nine men to death in one day. Civilisation goes marching on. • • e» Miss Minnine Boggs, of Lincoln. Neb., baa fallen heir to $5,000,000. We think we can see the finish of the young man who baa been buying Minnie a seat In the balcony. ESTELLE. Estelle was a farmer’s daughter. The mortgage was soon duo on the farm and her father would not b* able to most It. 80 hs had told Estslls that It was up to her to find the man. One day an automobile drove up in front of the puics end a man got out. Ho walked Into the yard, up to the aids door and rapped, and Ee» tall# answered the rap. Ba ld tha man: “Would you kindly give mo a drink?" Estells didn’t know why, but her little heart was all a-flutter as she ran to the kitchen and flllad the dipper and brought the man a nlca big drink of pure country water. After the man had finished the drink of water, ho hold out the dipper, and as Estells took the dipper the man held on to It Well, there they stood holding the dipper. M l love you,” said tha man, “be cause I see you are a real country girl. When I aekeo you for a drink you did not ask ma what I was going to have.” Nell blushed. “I am a rich snuff manufactur er,” said tha man, whoss name was Bam. “Will you marry mat" Nall thought of tha mortgage Hess Haskins “Announcements are out t* th’ ef fect that Pete Bayne’e Daughter Bios eom hae consented t* git up and cook Broakfast fr Life f’r Oreon Hdod. Which Is t’ say, ‘Orange Blossums srs again In th* Air.' ** on the old home, and of a cold, blttar winter coming on. “A rich snuff manufacturer!" she muead to heraelf. “Will you marry ma 7” tha man repaatad. Tha sun was sinking In tha west (as usual) and from the kitchen there came tha rich coun try fragrance of burning warmed up potatoes, as tha simple Es telle, all blushing, lay her golden head upon the rich snuff manufac turer's cheat and softly replied: “1 should anlcker to enert.” see Tha only criticism wa can direct against tha quartette of 20-year olds that peases down oar street every night singing “Tipperary” la that it has four tenors too many. • • e What’s become of tha old-fashlon ed fellow who used to shout “Ice?** see Ah, there he la. across the street, wheeling coal. see While lishttnjr a breakfaet fir* Sun day morning. John Sapatka. 33 eld. 419 East Hancock-av#.. spilled some of the kerosene he was using near a gasoline can. He lit the nr* and th* can exploded, burning him badly about th* fact and arm*. Physi cians In Orace hospital think he will recover. Nobody home but father playing cinch with mother and he’s out. see I. M. Fame Is the name of a Phila delphia firm’s credit man. / e * # Proceeding on the theory, we taka it, that they are all known to Fame. Come On, You Prosperity! Or Man Prosperity la cornin’ up the road! Hear hla horn a-hootln’f See his auto scootin’? He’s the orltter Ain’t a quitter— Doesn't need a goad. Ol* Man Prosperity Is coinin’ up the road! Ol* Man Prosperity Is sailin’ up the pike! Looks a lot like Santy With his Christmas ante. No embargo On his cargo; Take Just what you like. Ol* Man Prosperity Is sailin' up the pike! Ol* Man Prosperity Is flyln’ up the street! , With the skies a-brlght’nln’. Geo* In* style Is llgbtnln’! If you’re holler For a dollar Jbtu niui in tne seat. Ol* Man Prosperity Is flyln* up the street! Ol* Man Prosperity has got the ear for me. Golden le Its promise. Hear you. doubtin’ Thomas? Make the statin* Os Its ratin’ Millions of h. p. Ol* Man Prosperity nas got the car for me! Ol* Man Prosperity Is whirlin' round the curve. Sharin’ off the corner, Hlttln* Mister Mourner, When he knows he • See* things rosy Watch that Ol’ Man’s nerre! Ol* Man Prospe-tty has passed that killin’ curvet —John O'Keefa Hie Sympathy in the Cruel War When the federal troops were sent to quell a riot In an Arkansas min ing district, they found some real work to do. There had been shoot lug and burning snd killing snough to make up a pretty fair war report. The colonel Immediately ordered the miners and all the Inhabitants within the district to disarm. The second day after the guns had been gathered In, an old fellow with a long beard and bushy hair and a shiftless gait approached the coloneL **l reckon,” he said, diffidently, “you’ll let me have my boy’s gun. We ain’t been mixed up in none of the fighting.’* “Then why do you want your gun?” asked the colonel. “We are plumb out of hog meat and we want to shoot some rabbits,” said the old mountaineer. “What sort of gun did your boy have?*’ asked the colouel. “My boyses,” corrected the old man. “they all had guns; snd all of ’em want to get ’em back. We need to shoot some rabbits powerful bad.” “How many boys have you?” asked the colonel. The old man stroked his beard re flectively. “Fourteen —Jim’s sway, but he give me his gun.” “Fourteen guns In one family.” The colonel’s face wrinkled Into a smile. “We’ll have to keep your arsenal for a while. My sympathy Is with the rabbits!” i Uninterested In a newspaper office, where thb workers are supposed to be up to date, the hoes asked the staff to tell him the name of the newest and most powerful American battles alp In commission. There were four gueeses, end none correct. How many times In your Ilfs have you seen a whole regiment of regular soldiers? For most of us the recruiting officer begins snd ends what we know, from personal observation, of Uncle Sam’s army. When Rep. Gardner was tailing con gress in what a bad fix we’d be If at tacked by a great power, a fellow member Interrupted to ask if it was wise to advertise our unreadiness so openly. The worthy Interruptor evi dently didn’t know that every for eign war office knows far more about our military affairs than 99 out of every 100 Americans know. Our professional soldiers snd sail ors think It a blooming shame that we common mutts are so uninterested in militarism. Maybe it Is. But, at all events, we can still go a long way before we’ll be in danger of getting militarism on the brain. Fsvorlts Past I ms. The captain cried “Cease shooting, please.” But couldn’t stop ths chaps; It was the troop of Senegalese, And they were shooting craps. —New York Mail. Ths Effect of a Landslide. The recent Republican landslide ap pears to have pushed a good many Democrats Into the United States sen ate. —Rochester Herald. What the Authors Are Doing BY E. 8. HITCHCOCK Nothing But the Truth. Most people would be greatly In sulted if tbelr honesty were question ed and would anume a cold and dis tant manner toward tbe questioner; yet here ls"~a book which will con vince nearly every one that he Is more or less of a liar, though in the interests of society and with fairly good motives In the background. A young man. whose father has failed (said young man being unable to achieve such a distinction, having nothing to lose) finds himself with out means of support, support includ ing clubs, cocktails and white kid gloves, and enters into an agreement, for a liberal consideration, to speak nothing but the truth for three long weeks. His friends who drove the bargain repent as they are of neces sity shown up In this orgy of truth fulness, and hasten to lift the em bargo or put on the lid, whichever you choose. Anyway, tbe hero is muzzled and made safe again for everybody’s sake. Frederic 8. Isham has written an amusing story in a breezy, entertaining style and quite cleverly shown us some of our own shortcomings. “Nothing But the Truth." by Fred eric 8- Isham. Bobbe, Merrill Cos., Publishers, Indianapolis; 60 cents. Lazy Bob Parkins. “Lazy Bob Parkins” is a short play by Ward Macauley. The scene is laid in a country store and the characters *Railroads Attack J State Sovei By GILSON GARDNk* WASHINGTON, Nov. 23.—Shall the authority of the states over railroad rates be wiped out and all authority vested In the Interstate commerce commission? This question has been raised by the so-called Shreveport rate case, and all the leading railroads have started cases seeking to divest the state authority. The state com missions and the shippers are oppos ed to this move. They contend that Intrastate rates ought to be left to the authority of the state commissions and that the federal commission would not be equal to the task of rate making carried to the extent which would be necessary if the state com missions were wiped out. At the re cent session of the state commission ers an address by Solicitor Farrell, of the interstate commerce commission, advocated an extension of the Shreve port doctrine, but a resolution was passed by an overwhelming vote ex pressing the belief of the commission ers that the state authorities should be upheld to a specified degree. The resolutiou provided that ths inter state commerce commission should not have legal power to enforce rules or rates or to exempt a railroad from rules or rates prescribed by state commissions until such rate or rules shall have been found unreasonable by judicial determination. In other words, the state pommlssloners be lieve that the courts should stand be tween the ruling of a state commis sion snd the authority of the inter state commission. • • • That the public Is more Interested In Jails than In schools ts tbs Interest ing conclusion drawn by W\ F. Fes gin. state superintendent of education for Alabama, as a result of a survey recently made by him in his Itste. After describing the dilapidated rural school In the same county with a handsomely constructed jail. Hupt. Fesgln says: “The Jail has sanitary drinking fountains. shower baths, clean floors, plenty of light, good ven tilation. and la otherwise attractive. Could a person from the district In which this school is located be blam ed for preferring the Jail?” Supt. Fesgln concludes that the farmer who owns a cheap automobile frequently spends as much on the upkeep of his one car as the community spends for the total maintenance of the local school. Including the teacher’s salary. Mr. Feagln found that out of 5.423 puplLs entering the first grade in the schools Inspected In Alabama, only 80 completed the work of the fourth year of the high school. Os the teachers. 76 per cent are holding their present positions for the first time. Os the remainder. 18 per cent are teaching their second session in their first school, and only 19 per cent have stayed more than two years In the same place. • • • The effect of the aeroplane as a new adjunct to war was clearly fore seen by Its Inventor, the late Prof. 8. P. Langley, secretary of the Smith sonian institution. In an article pre pared for delivery in New York city. April 12, 1901, before the American Institute of Electrical Engineers, and published in the 1900 report of the Smithsonian institution, Prof. lang ley said; “There Is no room here to enter on the consideration of the con struction of larger machines or to of are the villagers who come to buy various articles from soap to prunes. Bob Parkins is one of the clerks and seems thoroughly lazy and good-for nothing. until a girl appears and transforms him in the twinkling of an eye into a hustling business man. Such things have happened before, like the statue which was kissed Into life. Bob receives his kisses after he has come to life, however, snd proved that he can do something. Penn Publishing Cos., Philadelphia; 15 cents. Bons of the Rhine. A German story of a great factory and the people who go to make up \ Its various branches from the owners, down. It is translated and, like all translations, suffers from a more or less stilted manner of expression. It is very German in its attitude toward life and society, and conservative to a degree that seems irksome to an American reader. Rudolf Herzog does not belong to the advanced German school which penetrates to the soul of things snd has given us some of: the most startling snd the truest lit erature the world knows today. These ' books hardly bear translation, though 1 the attempt has been made In a num ber of cases. It is unfortunate thst more Americans cannot read them in the original and form a conception of their wonderful insight and beauty. "Sons of the Rhine," by Rudolf Hersog. Desmond. Fitzgerald, pub lishers, New York; $1.26. MON DA NOV. 23. I] fer the reasons ffl may be built to ■ air or to travel! any with whlcM Is there room ■ utlon of their Ml those bly tlrst coiufl|| er than of peHlff that thflj| change the ■gi faro, when Mill have lt«|| to the otherH||§ cation a when the <«§§§ country Hgafl|| in the air hope that thflß retard the cH|| Mar ahull ceflfß The Rtx-fooflj aerodrome niSl problem uhhH man cart \ lag fli 1903 and 190 fl nmn carrying fl ed In the loweH Curtis within ■ strafed that ttß dent by flying lfl constructed by fl Ma, Son il A fond mother vl school wrote to cl asking If he wouldl the lad go in for B “1 am against I fear he may he sel Christy was foJ advise concerning B seen. But he vfl ment of general H 1 maintain thafl ta]ke part In sonfl It tends toward fl We wonder if tflj thought of the be in If he keptlß sports and provf*_l outlet for the ts J A swat on the Jaw. even a brokp' j that will eaelljemej effects. Indeed. mauling seems tdß growing boys. The madam, is ttflß|j| denied the sß|||||| pals In op<^B||B trick and ABBSMB world jftS-YL- 1 0c Rusß if Bill suinc^^B SratßSH i<-*b* ■_ strt^^^H mi’ll fron^^^H we brov^^H Mun this the habits wfl are affecte! governmen enue. Doubtlesfl measure Rnvennnefl ahnnhite^H ?:w "' nyl Bll which MJS nation VSi force t<B|g r.-in a rk»- the arn e m<H§§ hlbitlon Wm the rcßtH§ the *troiU| doe* notHi Fully aVßi§|| Itself la tBBI accompl Honal effor*j§j birth, a hoV| now a rnllllß a el Russia Is reHi vodka” As M or, member ofl by personal fl ha* steadfastM end he has acl reform recordfl reer than thari most slngle-haffi verted one ofl greatest peqrifl New York Every hat a l&BI every cvßi told mous. ■S MUSIC ■ WORDS!