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The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, July 10, 1916, EXTRA, Image 10

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EDITORIAL PAGE
DETROIT TIMES
|bk|U|a| usury ivtolnf except Hunday by the
K'r IMUvft Tin** BagUy-avs.
• • ♦ ___
& •ttbpcrlption Rate*— By carrier. 25 cents a
Math; 111 a year. By mail. »2 per year, payable
#• advance.
Telephone — Main 4520, connecting all depart
■ Mata UlT* Times' operator name of department
or per eon wanted. Subscription orders or corn
alamta of Irregular delivery may be received by
phone up to l!l0 p. m.
Katered at the Postofflce at Detroit as second
«laas mall matter.
The use of the name of this corporation and
K officers in any outside project is unaulhot
4. Ail accredited business representatives
tarry and should be required to show creden
tials alined by Richard W. Reading, business
manager.
MONDAY. JULY in. 1316.
“W« will never bring disgrace to this our city
bp any act of dishonesty or cowardice, nor ever .
desert our suffering comrades in the ranks, li e
t pill fight for the ideals and sacred things of th*
dtp, both alone and with many; we, will revere j
end obey the city's laws and do our best to incite
m like respect and reverence in those above w*
Who are prone to annul or set them at naught;
we will strive unceasingly to guicken the puMic'j
eense of drie duty. Thus in all these ways we
«pin transmit this city not only not less but
yreater, better and more beautiful than if was
transmuted to us." —Oath of the Young Men of
K SMSpbi.
j "
]WHh Us Today and Showing
a Nifty Line of Wares.
m.T :^
Present on the opening day of the
World's Salesmanship Congress, and dis
playing an increasingly popular staple,
the Hem. Woodrow Wilson, Head Sales
man for Uncle Sam and successful pur
veyor of International Tranquility.
: His line has the commendation of two
! Cardinals that we know of, let alone a
lot of lesser folk. Wolsey tipped it o?F
to Grom well:
te thy rlsht band carry gentle peace 1
| To ailaaoe Marions tongues/’
S Bkhdku wrote this unsolicited testi
monial for the same line of goods Presi
.tfaut Wfison is handling of late:
. “Bonaatfc the rale of men entirely great
The pen la mightier than ths sword,
i Taka away the sword—
Statas can ba aared without it.”
Sfe Hoad Salesman Wilson did business
idoaff this line with the Blue and Jthe
tfqr at the Gettysburg reunion three
K.fmn ago, using these fine selling points:
day of our country’s life has but broad
fnad into action.
.. “Do not put uniforms by.
} r “put the harness of the present on.
> “Lift up your eyes to the great tracts of life
? pat to ba conquered in the interest of righteous
MM, of that prosperity which lies in a people s
hearts and outlasts all errors of men.
£ “Coma, let us be comrades and soldiers yet to
Barrs our fellowmMi in quietcou nsel. where the
HR* of trumpets la neither heard nor heded
and where the things are done which make
■ bleated the nations of the world in peace and
Hgfrteowsneaa and lore.”
?-r;
| . When Mr. Wilson took his samples out |
£. toast early in the present year it looked
J BS If he were going to open up a dis
- lerent line of goods, in competition with
f/ the militant made-in-Europe brand.
Bat later we found him offering the
time-tested domestic article of Inter
l nation*] Concord, only.
The Kaiser took some in May and
-teemed relieved to get it.
fH Carranza has just ordered, with grate
s fttl acknowledgements.
Deliveries were not at any price,
either; but upon a live-and-let-live basis.
Much more satisfactory than the alter
native terms of KilKand-be-Killed.
| At Philadelphia on June 29th, Presi
dent Wilson showed his goods to the As
sociated Advertising Clubs of the World;
it New York, the following night, to the
* Press Club; in Washington, July 4th, to
mm American Federation of Labor.
All seemed eager to order. We have
g* no doubt the World’s Salesmanship Con
*’ gras a, which knows a long-felt want
t When it sees one, will be equally im-
Ipaaaed with the grade of gainful and
| ; 4taanrable friendliness with all the world,
I Dm President is here to offer,
jjlv ; To be sure Salesman Hughes will be
hitting the big towns soon, and morej
h jCdnaervative buyers will want to see his
f.. freshly-labelled policies before closing,
t He is far from being a Class B. “poy
;[ onder road”; and he has the confidence
gfelf the public, coming over from former
| But he has his work cut out for him
|Bb Induce the trade to chuck Peace.
Hfrlgfe and Prosperity from the stock
ifjflft hand and replace them this fall with
GKmnaUty, Promise and Per jo ation.
\ mpmpapMffinnsmMi
and Fairbanks vs. Wilson and
or two sets of whiskers to u i
m *t a mustache.
A Little Matter Here
In Which We Would Like
To Interest the Salesmen!
The salesmen are in town.
A salesman is one who sells.
It is very evident that is what a sales
man is, but a buyer is not a buyer, ac
cording to the salesman’s definition.
A buyer, the way a salesman defines a
buyer, is someone to SELL TO.
The salesman is always on the job.
The buyer doesn’t get on the job until
a salesman gets him there.
, You can get a buyer to buy against his
j will.
We never heard of a salesman selling
[against his will.
He is a mighty important man around
I any institution, the salesman.
Take a product that stands an equal
chance of appealing to the public on its
merits, and the success or failure of the
business of making that product de
pends, in the last analysis, upon the man
who sells it, and the success or failure of
the man who sells it depends on the man
j himself.
Take a factory that covers acres, em
ploying thousands of men. turning out a
necessity or a luxury, as the case may
i be, with hundreds ,of machines grinding
away, miles of belting slipping over pul
leys, with hurry and bustle everywhere,
and there still has to be some crunching
of gravel made by trucks departing with
their heavy loads, which means that af
ter all the thing simmers down to an IN
DIVIDUAL, working quite noiselessly in
a room next to the trip hammers.
This individual ifc the salesman.
Things that machines can make re
quire brains to get them to market, and
the salesman supplies the brains.
There is no student as versatile.
He has to study the article whose fate
is put up to him; he has to study peo
ple; he has to study the wants of peo
ple. and these require study of HIM
SELF, most important of all.
“Experience has taught me.’’ said one
salesman to another in an interchange'
of experiences, in our presence, “that the
best time to sell a man is directly after j
he has had lunch and tipped himself and
his cigar back in his chair at his desk.
I find that men are most ready at that
time to talk.”
“And I have found that to be the very
worst time.” said the other salesman.
“The only customer I ever lost was one
on whom I called at that very hour and
under those same conditions.”
“Which proves to me,” suggested the
first salesman, “that you ate something
at your own lunch which did not agree
with you.”
A» idea of just how the successful
salesman must study the article he is
putting on the market, is conveyed in
the experience of the man who was sell- j
ing promotion stock in a patent washing
machine.
Calling upon a local capitalist in his of
fice, he secured an audience and was
given an attentive hearing for his propo
sition.
He was. extolling the possibilities of
the improved machine, when he was in
terrupted by his prospect, who remarked:
“I know' that the representations you
make for this machine are very true,
every one of them, but I little dreamed
of some of its possibilities at the time.,
It happens I am the inventor of the ma
chine.”
We were sitting at home one after
noon, minding our own business, when
the door bell rang.
Upon answering it, we found there a
man with a vacuum cleaner which he
wished to demonstrate.
There had been on our part no idea
whatever of acquiring a vacuum cleaner,
but how in the world we had managed to
get along without one, and live, and be
happy, was more than we could tell after
having listened to the agent for some 20
minutes without an intermission.
He kept it working the full 20 minutes
in the same spot on the rug. and you
couldn’t help but notice the difference be
tween the spot he cleaned and the rest
of the rug.
And, again, there was the time we
bought a house.
The real estate agent said he would be
around to the place where we were pay
ing rent, and take us in his automobile
and show us some of the houses on his
list.
We bundled the whole family in, sank
back into the soft rear seat, winked at
the wife, muttered “Pretty soft,” and
then together we gave the real estate
man in the front seat a little laugh.
On what we had saved'up, it didn’t
look like there was a c’tance in the world
of that real estate man making a sale,
hut we were getting a ride out of it on
his gasoline, anyway.
But he sold us the house we arc living
in today.
That automobile ride cost us so much
we haven’t got it paid for yet, and the
real estate man got something like S2OO
for the gasoline he used.
The vacuum cleaner man and the real
estate agent give us the idea of sales
manship.
. It is represented in Detroit today on
the biggest scale, with big men from all
over the world who are connected with
the selling department of the real big in
terests. #
But the psychology of the thing is the
same, no matter where you find it.
Don’t train in the hope of Incoming a
•oeresaful salesman—it has to be bom in
you.
, ..is an art that cannot be acquired.
DETROIT TIMES
The Monday Morning Automobile Casualty List.
# VVEtt / WAS A FtMC DUtvC ( M- M - NCge'* A BAD ACOPTM-r L
Wf HAP Ves-TEBPAV. IT’5 POME \ THAT - AUTO HITS [
A LOT OF 6QOP . I COOLP / TtIfOBAPH POLE - S KILLC^
' LICK MV weiGHT IN Wtcp CAf? J \ _
I— - , , ■■!,/ |
' Here 5 ANOTHER-- CAR.S CRASH ) CROSSING ' 1 PLE4M Wn‘t
HFADON - T2>o th MOVING AT J |aCC»PEnT- v KIUtD WMFfi !. Arty more !
5PteD -7 DEAD -1. DVmG- 1 Train Nit S Auto - CWAufTtuK , T> AWFUL 1 '
J , F4itep~Tb hfap Signal Bciiy^
if fy —jpw
JfeLiJp : H MUmm
NO OJETAtK tHG.ELSie , PK'VIHG ON I '’f VU PICKEP OUT A VTAOt OF A TBIP
i SunpAy is Too roaps | Roß.Tomorrow - 2.00 miles aFbuuN lonely' 1
ARe TAMMEJ? with REOCLFSS PRIVEBS. S AnP GoRSEOuS SCCmEBY.we ll j
! i'm through with it. Well sell ouR CaJL/Y y— up 6ood anPt y
\we cah't afford t to taku such chances 7 yir (Eablv and— f
sll HBT /T> Sfr) ~ O G> I /uCnpy* <bt. 1916. by H T )\' ’ \
STUDY THE STARS.
BY H. ADDINGTON BRUCK
Author of *Th* Riddle of Personality ," “Psychology and Parenthood. ' etc.
WTien you start for your vacation
this summer, put in your baggage a
small field book of the stars and a
pocket electric light that will en
able you to read this book in the
outdoor darkness.
Especiallv be sure to do this if
you are one of the many who have
never made any study of the stars.
I want you to have the pleasure I
began to experience three summers
ago.
Until then I knew there were
stars In the sky. but that was about
all I knew of the celestial flrma
ment.
1 could pick out the Big Dipper
and the North Star. All the rest
were to me stars and nothing else.
But that summer I spent on an
isolated New England farm. The
evenings were long, the weather was
too fine to stay indoors and read.
As I sat on the veranda looking
toward Mount Monadnock, or
strolled around the farm In the early
»w light, I noticed that every even
ing three or four stars regularly
made their appearance ahead of all
the others.
I became curious about these
early comers. So did my wife. At
her suggestion, the next time I went,
to Boston I visited a book store and
ransacked the shelves containing
works on astronomy.
1 found all manner of books. Most
of them were too technical to be of
help to an amateur. Also they were
bulky and altogether appalling.
But I did find' a convenient, sim
ple little manual, with charts that
could be understood almost at a
glance. It was William Tyler Ol
cotta “Field Book of the Stars."
That little book has given my wife
and me unending pleasure. And it
has made both of us far better ac
quainted than we ever before were
with the world we live in.
We learned, first of all. the names
of the stars that had attracted our
a*tenMon—brilliant Vega, glorious
Arcturua, beautiful Spica, and state
ly Altair.
The well baby must have at least
one tub bath every day—ls it Is to
survive the dan
-1 ■
water In which salt Is dissolved
In the proportion of a tea spoonful to
a pint of water.
July s toll of deaths of babies
Is greater than that of any other
month of the year. To help moth
or* keep their little ones well in
this trying month. The Times Is
publishing a series of items about
babies, quoted on the best m*d
* leal authority.
If there is a child In your
house, clip these bits of advice
; for reference.
Always give Pahy his ba»h Just
before feeding - never immediately
afterward.
The Keep Well Column
BABY'S BATH
Then we began to pick out the
constellations in which they had
their place. Before the summer’s
end we extended our observations
to include all the constellations visi
ble at that time of year.
Often during the day we longed
for evening to come, that we might
renew acquaintance with our Btarry
friends and make fresh discoveries.
No longer were the heavens to us
merely a mass of glowing dots.
North, south, east and west, we
could discriminate, could find our
way.
To see Vega loom out overhead
after the setting of the sun was al
most like the coming of an old com
rade.
I>et me assure you that If you are
as ignorant of the stars as we were
when we began to study them, you
will find in star-study, as we did.
the joy of romantic exploration and
the thrill of achievement.
Also you will find quickened In
you the spirit of Imagination, the
poetic impulse and appreciation of
the grandeur and majesty of fJod’s
universe.
I wish I could really describe to
you the wondrous effects that come
to one from enthusiastic study of
the stars You must get these for
yourself.
A few hints, though:
I>on't try to learn too much at a
single session. Begin by locating
the stars of the first magnitude.
Then learn the constellations to
which they belong. Get each con
Let’s Have No Trouble With Japan
Except On Main Issue, Says Quick
BY HERBERT QUICK.
We have an agreement with the
Japanese government call the Root
Takahlra agreement under which
Japan is preventing such of her 'lt
Irens as we wish to exclude from
emigrating to this country.
Use special care to cleanse the
body creases. Dry thoroughly, and
If talcum i>owder be used, buy only
the best, and unscented. Towels
for baby's Path should be soft and
perfectly tlean. Otherwise the skin
may he chafed and an ecrema re
suit.
During the very hot weather In
fants should wear only a diaper
and h thin game shirt.
An abdominal binder of thin fl n
nel may be worn by children undei
six months of age If ordered by th'
doctor.
i Baby’s clothes must be kept cleat
Moiled garments should be promptlv
removed.
Wetted and soiled diapers should
be washed With as little delay as
possible, and boiled Rinse well and
j see flat they are perfectly dry be
fore using again. Do not u«e blu
; Ing
Never put starched, stiff, uncom
fortahle clothea on babies.
All clothing should he loose Don't
bonder free motion of the legs and
! arms.
I Good water is one of she best In
surance policies a family can carry
By Webster.
! stellation firmly fixed In your mind
. before you begin to trace a nor he'
And, if possible, have somebody
study the stars with you. It i-<
twice as easy—and twice as much
fun.
r
No Compromise.
I have great respect for many ol
the pacifist leaders of this time, as
I had for those of 55 years ago.
Some among them I esteem as per
sonal friends. But tneir supreme
wish for peace Is not mine. As long
as there Is injustice in the world,
so long I wish to war against it.
Whether in this eternal war against
wrong one shall fight with voice or
pen or aword must depend partly on
the nature of the wrong, partly on
the best method of attack, and part
ly on his persona! abilities. Rut ac
quiescence in wrong or compromise
with wrong- never’ •
I have lived through one terrible
war, fought against slavery and se
cession, and hav.> seen the peace
won by that war blessing an eman
cipated and united people. I expect
so see peace for the world won. as
It was won for my own dear land,
not by compromise with wrong, but
by conquering P I expert to see.
though not with mortal eyes, the
ocean untroubled by undersea pi
rates. the air tindarkened by human
birds of prey, and Europe, emanci
pated from the militarism which she
has created, draw-n together in a
brotherhood transcending race, re
ligion and nationality, and Inspired
by a spirit of universal Justice and
universal liberty.—Lyman Abbott, In
the Outlook.
Japan i* keeping her agreement In
a gentlemanly way.
Recently congress seemed about
to pa*.* a law excluding the Japan
ese by Ntatute.
Japan naw in aueh a law humllla
tion. Sh** |a willing to keep her
people out bv agreement, but *h*
distinctly object* to being ordered
to stay away She *ay* that such a
law implle* that the Japanese are
inferior to nx and that Japan being
a flrMti la l ** fit)wer cannot consent to
*uch an Implication.
Congress. In a very broadminded
manner, look cognizance of Japan *
sensitiveness, and refrained from
passing the law.
What we want, rnngresa evidently
thought, I* a continuance of the
present cessation of .Japanese immi
gration. Putting it into law doe*
riot seem to be necessary. Japan
’♦’em* to he toting fair with u* in
the matter. We will abandon the
law, and let the Root-Takahira agree
roent keep on doing all that the law
could do,
I wi h conrresg always had *o
large a m* i*ure of common *ens*
To g«-t Jr;to a cri*l* with Japan
over the passage of *uch a law would
be a tragic blunder.
If we ever have trouble with that
great nation, let If be on the main
l**u<\
Probably Japan doe* not want her
people to come here. If *he doe*,
*he will be disappointed for we can
not let them rorne in. In large num
her*.
But *o long an they are kept out,
rn possible opportunity should be
lost to make their exrluaion a* little
an offense to a very proud people a*
ia humanly possible.
The Daily Reminder j
TODAY'S IXXIVKft* AHIF.W
1774—-Georg i* »«*nt out the first
provincial v«**d commissioned for
naval warfare m ilia revolution
I'rtndi army of d.wotf men.
under Kuchanibcuu. arrived ut New
port. It. I , to «td the Americana In
the revolution
174* J —t«et»t*e M. Dellas. the vl<«--
president who cast the vote In the
renats which decided the tariff pol
io) of the nation In 1646. horn In
I‘htludelphla. Died there Dec. SI,
:«'i)—Millard Fillmore took the
oath of office as president of the
United Htates.
i Set I .ouls J. M. Daguerre In
ventot of the dwguerretoype. died In
Frame. Horn in France Nov D, ITS 1 '
tS6< — Clement C. Moore, author of
the ballad. “ Twan the Night Before
Christmas,' died at Newport, It. 1
Born in New York In 1779
11*6#—Prussian armies defeated the
Vustrian allies at liamnudburg and
Kls«lngen
1664 Paul Morphy, the world s
most famous < h*-ss player, died In
New Oi leans Horn theie In 18J7.
IS'.'l The Get man emperor and em
press w t loomed t<\ the Lord -Max or
of London at Guildhall.
1196—The Americans resumed the
bombardment of Santiago and« Cubs
1900—A tariff agreement was con
cluded between trio United State#
and Germany.
1905 A Franco-German ngreem* nt
over Morocco was announced.
OAF. YEAR AGO TODAY IN TIIK
\\ Alt
Belgians repelled attack on right
bank of Yser
German reply to second l.usltanla
note received In Washington
Aurtr.mans made strong re
sistance in Southern Poland, but con
tinued to retreat.
General Italian assault in Adriatic
c< ast district repulsed, according to
VDnna report.
J Fr«p'h attacks were repulsed be
I the German* north <•/ ftouchei, south
of \lhert and on both sides of the tit
' Mlhiel wings
TtlDtY'R BIRTHDYYS
Admiral Sir Percy Scott, recent!',
relieved of tiie ronimand of the air
defenses of London, burn 69 years
!ago today
, 4 Tl...id"i, Marte.ir*. noted publ Is*
ami form*'! P s minister to Belgium,
1 b< rn in Halt mote 54 year* tig" today
Kin'c) P. Dunn**. author of the "M*-
I I»ooley" stories, born In Chicago. 49
, years a«>> today.
Pleasant A Stovall, t* S minister
to Swterland. born at Augusta, (in,
sft git' ago ■.
Flea: Admiral \V II It Souther
land. U S N. ret-.ted, bom In New
York cit> *»i vear*. ago today.
George Fred Wiltsm*. Msssachu
• a
tei to Ore* born Dedham Mi ■
<1 \ ears ag-< today
William Leltoy Kmmet, member of
(naval advisory board and first ser'ous :
promoter of • 1 ■tt t • ship-propulsion
t o n i New Ko. hel’.e. N Y.. 57 years I
.»R > today.
Isaac N Seltgman. one of N«w j
York'?* leading hankers, born or Stat- !
!en island, N' Y.. 69 year* ngo today
T 1 i
A Poem a Day
if Tiir i.oitn *not in mgr.
Ts the ta*rd should come In the
- '
A* 1 wynt about m>* work.
Th* little thing* and the quiet things
That a ser* ant cannot shltk.
Though nobody ever sees them.
And only the dear la>rd eare»
That they always are done in th»
light of the sun.
Would he take me unawares’
ts my To-ird should come at noonday.
The time of the dust and heat.
When the glare ia white, and the
air 1* still.
And the hoof-heats sound In the
•treet—
Ts mv dear I«ord came at noonday,
And smiled In my tired eye*.
Would 't n->t hr- fWHt bis look tO
meet ?
Would fie take me by surprise?
Ts my Towd same hither at evening.
In the fragfant dew and dusk,
Wh»n the world drops off it* mantle
< >f dOJ light Ilk" a husk
And powers in wonderful beaut)'.
And we fold our band* and rest.
Would his touch of my hand, his
low command.
Bring me unhoped-for seat’
Why do I ask and question?
He Is ever coming t>> me.
Morning and noon and evening.
If t have hut eyas to aee
And the daily load grow* lighter.
The dailv cares grow sweet
For the Master Is near, the Master
I* here:
I have only to sit at hi* feet.
Margaret F. S*nr«ur
Pointed Paragraphs
Sometime* the prim of liberty is
♦he fee of a smart, lawyer.
Be good to everybody and every
body will try to make a doormat of
you.
It’s wonderful how smart a woman
can make a man think she think*
ho la.
Anyw-ay, an ounce of prevention
cost* much less than a pound of
cure.
People who travel on the down
ward path seldom provide them
selves with a return ticket.
If a vain girl thinks herself beau
tlful. it’s a man’s cue to tell her
that she is, even if she isn’t.
It is awfully risky for a pretty
girl to go Into a dark hall w-it.h a
man—and that may be why she
like* to do so.
For a man to make a woman
happy during courtship is much
easier than It Is for him to make
good after marriage.
Harvard Geta a Whitt Whale.
A white whale, believed to be a
freak so far as the color is concern
ed. and the first of the kind caught
in Massachusetts waters In at least
twenty years, was brought to the
fish pier from (’ape Cod. After re
mining on exhibition for awhile it
was transferred to the Harvard
Museum. Officials of the inatitu
Mon paid |25 for the specimen. The
whale I* about eighteen feet long
and weigh* 1,500 pounds.—Boston
Transcript.
The Old Gardener Says
That the portulaea is an excel
lent flower for hot, sandy place*
where few other flowers will
grow at all. It comes up quickly
and after once being started ap
pears year after year, a* the *eed
la ae|f sown. It la useless,
though, to plant the portulaea
before the weather is settled and
warm, for It loves the heat.
There are both single and double
varieties and the colors are ex
eeptlonally brilliant and gay.
MONDAY, JULY 10, 1916
The Comma Hound.
•Y OR. FRANK CRANK
(Copyright. 1916, by Frank Crane)
A punctilious person, I suppose,
though 1 haven’t looked it up in the dic
tionary, is one who pays too much atten
tion to punctuation points.
The smallest and unsignifkantest of
points is the comma. 1 have met in my
time certain punctophohiacs who might
be called comma hounds. They scent
minutiae and rigidify at attentioh there
at like a pointer dog.
I’hey have for little things as many
eyes as a fly. They arc blessed, or
cursed, with microscopic vision. They
cannot see beauty’s cheek for looking at
the pores of the skin, and are too busy
counting the hairs of the eye-winkers to
catch the wink. You might call them
comma bacilli, for they are well nigh as
dreadful as the little enemies to whom
that term scientifically pertains.
One came up to Henry Ward Beecher
after the great preacher had finished
a sermon and stood by the pulpit yet in
the fusing after-heat of high discourse,
and said to him:
“Mr. Beecher, 1 enjoyed your sermon
very much, hut I noticed one grammat
ical error you made.”
“One?" said the preacher. 'Til bet my
hat there were twenty.”
Have you ever noticed that peculiar ir
ritation you feel when you stop and talk
to a man, and, while you are telling him
one of your latest and best ones, he picks
a piece of lint off your coat? He belongs
to the speck hunters, whose name is
Legion.
You take one of these comma hounds
to the theater. When the play is over
you are somewhere in the seventh
heaven, rapt and cloud-swathed by the
perfect illusion of the stage; but your
comma hound has found her quarry. Did
you notice the way the leading lady
twisted her mouth?” she asks. More
than likely its a she.
A book has thrilled you, and in an ex
pansive moment you have lent it to a
friend (always a dangerous thing to do),
who returns it to you with the sole re
l mark that he wishes writers would say
“would rather” instead of "had rather.”
I confess to panic whenever I get in
the presence of these thoroughbred com
ma hounds. When their eye strikes me
I feel an uneasy itching all over. Some
thing is the matter with me. What is it?
Is a tuft of hair sticking up on the back
| of my head? Is there a fleck of dandruff
on my coat collar? Has my necktie
mounted? Is a button off?
As for public men, office holders,
actors, authors, and all who have
achieved a bit of magnificence, them the
comma hounds hunt in packs. There is
much to be said, for instance, in favor
of being president of the United States,
hut the position has its drawbacks. When
we think of every little snooping comma
pup watching what we eat and drink,
and wherewithal we are clothed, to say
nothing of whom, when, and why we
blew our presidential nose yestreen, it
makes us be reconciled to our lowly pri
vate life in flat A, third floor, rear. At
least, we can sit in our sock feet at close
of day and smoke our pipe by the open
window' and see no telescope trained up
on us, and hear no cameras click.
Also by being poor we escape the bay
ing pack that are forever at the heels of
the wealthy. I venture to say that the
man with his millions often joins with
others of them who have moved from
obscurity into the spotlight and repeats
feelingly Riley’s line:
"They'* nothin’ more pathetlcker
Than Just bain* rich.”
From Another Point ot View
By C. T. S.
No. Phyllis, someone has been kidding
you. A seasoned soldier does not wear
a pepper and salt suit.
• * •
This circus to lie given by the salesmen
will probably l>e something on the order
of Sells Bros’.
• • •
Would you say the Germans with that
U-boat put one over or under?
• • •
i Indianai>olis has a Villa avenue. Named
that, maybe, liecause it’s hard to find.
• • •
There couldn't boa day at nil
Without It* little hour;
No garden would ho quito complete
Without a lit tip flower.
There couldn’t boa naw.l fight
If there wore not a *ea;
You never *aw a bonnet yet
Tha. didn’t have a b.
• • •
We finally struck a cantaloupe that was
ripe.
* • *
But it was too.
- - -
ACCOMPLISHED
Randall After twenty five year* of married
llfo *he love* her husband a* murh a* avar.
Roger* Yon, and she annoy* him In other
way*, too. —Life.

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