The Detroit times. [volume], July 09, 1917, NOON, Image 8

About The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920

Image provided by: Central Michigan University, Clark Historical Library

                
Hohenzollern Family
Will Have Hard Work
Explaining To the People
The German bureaucrats may l>e able
to explain to their people why it is that
Greece ha_s at last broken otT relations
with the Teuton powers, but they will
have a big job on their hands when they
try to tell why the great, rich and pow
erful South American republic of Brazil
has aligned itself with the United States
in the world war.
The agents of the Kaiser can very
glibly tell the people that the action ot
Greece is an enforced action: that the de
cree breaking off relations with Germany
was written as much by British and
French bayonets as by Greek pens.
And there will be some truth in the
assertion.
But when it comes to Brazil, no expla
nation can be made that will n. re
dound to the hurt of the national pride
and the national feeling of the Germans.
Brazil has come into this war because
she realizes it is the last stand of the
democracies against the autocracies; l»e
--cause she instinctively feels that her
safety lies in taking decisive action to
gether with the other great republics
of the world; because she has had a
taste of German intrigue in her south
ern states and knows just exactly what,
German statecraft and official faith and
honor are.
Her entrance into the war is no small
thing.
Leaving out of account that she has
the biggest population in South America
. and so has great potential man-power
for war purposes, there remains the
fact that she has a rather good and
well-trained navy which can be of great
service in assisting to patrol the South
Atlantic against incursions of German
raiders and German submarines.
Add to this her seizure of 150,000 tons
of German ships in her harbors and Bra
zilian assistance on the seas assumes im-,
portant proportions.
But there is even more to be taken in
to consideration.
Brazil is one of the great food reser
voirs of the world.
The fact that she is in the war now
means that she will do all in her power
to feed the allied nations of Europe and
this is one of the most important jobs
t)f all.
Considered in all its aspects then, it
was a sad day for the Hohenzollern fam
ily when the greatest of South American
republics joined hands with the greatest
©f North American republics in the holy
crusade to wipe Kaiserism and militarism
off the face of the suffering earth.
If You Haven’t Mucilage,
a Little Flour and Water
Will Make the Paste
“Let’s make a kite !”
“Great ; Ray we do!”
It was a man approaching 40 years
*fho made the suggestion, and a man
past 40 who acquiesced in it.
For the time being, of a summer’s
afternoon, they had nothing else to do.
Ordinarily they are very busy men.
The men had been discususing war and
other very serious matters of the day
and of life in general, when they put
away all those heavy cares and became
youths again in a search, first, for the
necessary sticks.
It was determined in a debate lasting
■everal minutes that there should be
three of them—one of the men held for
•ome time that two would suffice. He
had forgotten the third that must cross
near the top, by which the kite would
be held.
Hammer and tacks and string came
out and the frame work was soon com
pleted.
The two men were growing younger
•very moment.
Then out came newspaper and muci
lage, and then a wait until the mucilage
dried.
A ball of twine procured over at the
comer drug store was transferred to a
•tick in the marfher that supplies ex
cellent exercise for the wrist muscles
And joints, the kite was made fast and
the two “boys” proceeded to the alley.
One of them held the kite and the
other ran with the twine.
Gee-whillickens.
It ducked and darted first one way and
then the other and finally crashed to
earth, lighting on one comer and there
wa* grave apprehension until an investi
gation had established sticks, string and
paper still intact.
Together the “boys” named the diffi
culty.
“We forgot the tail,” they exclaimed
In chorus.
So a tail was made and they managed
MONDAY, JULY 9, 1917
| to get it on at the right place and there
! was another trial.
! This time the difficulty lay in a tail
that was too heavy.
Then came the third trial.
Slowly, evenly, gracefully, up. up, up
it went, where a gust of wind took it
where, do you suppose?
| That’s right; you guessed it the first
time; right into the telephone wires,
' iust as a gust of wind most always did
j when you were a boy.
And there the kite remained and there
it is yet.
Object of bothering you with this ac
count of two men who had nothing elsu
to do but make a kite and try to fly it?
Oh. just to git your mind off business
and make YOU feel young again, too. for j
a time.
Remember how to make a kite?
Bet you don’t.
Let’s see if you do.
Don’t Let Him Bother
You; You Are Better Off
Than He Is; Don’t Quit
You have met him, and you’ve envied
him.
He has a town house and a country
house and a cohort of servants that oscil
lates between city and country, opening
the one home and closing the other.
He spends his winters in the south and
his summers iu the mountains of the
north.
He has indeed brought you a grape
fruit or so from his southern grove, or
perhaps you have been his guest on a
motor trip. He’s not a bad sort; he's
willing to pay a price for friendship;
but he’s fat and his wife is fat.
They eat and sleep and between times
seek distraction from—nothing.
He’s retired.
Yes, sir. you’ve envied that man and
! your wife has envied that man’s wife.
And it’s not the intention of these few
i words to jolly you into satisfaction with
a way of life less easy, less varied than
his.
But it is the intention to insist on
just this:
Life for that man. retired at 45 be
cause at 35 he bought the nght stock,
has reached its end.
There never was an end in this world
of endless possibilities worth reaching
for the mere purpose of stopping at.
You to whom each day must be a be
ginning are richer than the man you
envy.
Don’t quit.
The Blustering Speaker
Gives Is the Evidence
Os His Weakness
Loud talk and bluster is always a sign
of weakness.
Next time you get a chance, size up
the men who do the talking in a meeting
or conference.
If you are a good judge of men, you
will notice that the man of real power
never indulges in personalities.
He never sneers, he is rarely sarcastic,
he doesn’t make unkind remarks about
those who oppose him.
You will notice that he is willing to
give and take in the argument, that he
is ready to concede that the other side
has some righs.
Furthermore, you will observe that
much of his strength lies in the fact that
then-* ar* «ome things that he fail*: to
say. He shows you that he has a kind
of reserve power, which the chap who
shouts and blusters doe? not possess.
He gives you the feeling that he knowc
what he is talking about and that his
ouiet-voiced statement have hack of
♦hem a certain authority which every
man is bound to respect.
This kind of a man is worth having
in a labor union mooting, in a political
fathering, in a conference where war
nrorrams are being discussed, in the
milnit indeed, an else where real
**rain power and ability are required.
■ From Another Point of View '
By C. T. S.
They seem to be going right on with
the war, evidently not having heard of
those Chicago resolutions.
• • •
Please quote us as of the quite positive
opinion that one of the few things that
have not gone up, is lumbago.
• • •
Henry C. Frick is a gatherer of an
tiques, but his collection can have noth
ing on that of the White Sox.
MEMORY TEST
In what year was Proctor Knott Owena elected
to office?
• • •
According to the Ohio State Journal,
profanity is increasing. Just the same,
t was tough, after he had made a hit in
15 consecutive games.
• • •
The crop of mosquitos out our wav
loesn’t seem to he any smaller on account
of the war.
• • •
Being president of China would not
seem to come under the head of steady
jobs.
• • •
“Guess you’ll have t’ get out and crank
’er, Bert.”
• « •
ell. either come In or get out, Hover;
you’ll have the house fuluUllo®,
DETROIT TIMES
One Might Almost Suspect That Germany Wasn’t Fond of Russian
Allies. By Webster.
rCopyngtrt, py H. T Wetvtar )
This DEPARTMENT i« maintained to ahed the light of truth on the
operations of the advertising faker, the quae* and swindler. It
welcomes letters relating experiences with advertisers who have
been unfair In their assert ons or promises—who have misled or
‘duped the reading public. It will pay proper recognition to horost adver
tisers. Dishonest advertisers who may be found in The Times w> net be
spared It will print letters deemed of public mteiest. Advice will a'so
be given to investors. Only signed letters, giving the writer's name and
address will be considered. Names will be printed or withheld as pre
ferred. Address The AC-Mirror, The Times. Detroit, Mich.
ra: axk, Nfi-h. July
Having: noticed th» advertisement 'it -‘V. !<■ mpany In Time*
[ would lUc« t In * f they are a-■ ■ ' . . . ,
to w .men at home Please omit my ra. -. !t • en* losed * • *'•
letter D B
The Guide company, of Memphis. T< nn . is engaged in the business
jof obtaining lie’s of nan es to supr y r ul order U2>*» Man> other con
! corns ar* In a similar and \* - cr»nsid**r*d r, i? f —* *
, The work is to collect names and addr» and g~’ information abou f earn
of those named, so th fc v ran be ria-s.fied A fa.— *r f r Instance sou.'.
•be the prospective purchaser of a different '•* * P"* •* ’ban would a
fisherman These list* of prosper*? «r» so and In T •• Times the Guide
“■•m party simplv ad’.ertiee* tha* ’ w p-ty w *-.» n for - rplylng J s of
■ names. It offers to give particular 1- f r <*v and does r■.t o' r -k e payn.en
mon»v, u* nothing * r * -N adine •Ybo , i t
j i’self As f< r the rnjTipar.v. j* b»-*' 4 - i g <>d r» p .*,Vior. an lis engaged in
j i business thfc* is growing evenr year i- more p< >pie ’ban ever pa'ronise
' mail order houses, thanks to the expansion of rurul mall delivery and ’he
! parcel poet.
1 he Keep Weii.
C oiumn
YOUR DUTY
Thl* is *he reason of prepare:
The federal government Is *pen ‘
.•)< huge «■ m..- ot
ho-n tk ' . for II Af iJrA |
he army of */ ?f >
- or \ l *
ha* hears the MfKr
Bu* what Is being done by *h*
t?en*Tal public In the matter of pre
paredness?
Are you, for ln.*’*nce, prepared
for the war t.ha* takes pis,-* ev«*r
day be* we on infection and you
self'
That wars are disastrous no one
will deny, bu* the nunv *r of [,»:
son* tha* preven'able di«eas<« *.m
every year «-Q’;al!y a* daneerou
If rot more so.
The large number of persons who
die each year from typhoid fever,
tuberculosis, diphtheria, se*r>* fe
ver, whooping rough. measles and
many other such diseases U as
tounding,
Vet each of these diseases Is pro
veritable and fur*’ ermore for some
of them a specific preventive and
remedy etls*a, In *hc far*, of pres
ent day’s knowledge there 1* al'xi
lutely no reason for evert one m.in.
woman or child dying from dli>h he
rla and typhoid fever.
While the eo u n*ry proceeds with
Ita vital preparedness program, let
every man. woman and child pre
pare to ward off those Infection-*
that are as certain to kill aa build■
with the nitlon far ing a fight ’ha'
may he for ita very e*is*»nre The
leas’ you ran do In to *nhft in th»*
army of food health.
K P*. wrl*ea ’Sometime* if I
start up suddenly after lying er
sitting down, things seem to go d«rk
before my eye# for a moment What
do you think la the cause of this?”
Possibly It la canned by a disturb
anca of the heart or of your kidneys,
A physical eian.inallon la advita
ibla.
Md-Mirror
And Advice to Investors
If The Times Prints It, The Times Believes It
Pointed Paragraphs
f* r- I*k no questions, but
■<■l- :’i*e rr r.y answer*.
T l <* w ,n Is fond of a savage
’ i h sines.* with a wife.
F* w i • u r are to he reminded
of ’h»;r , *•> sins nor their big
ones
N -irl an write an effective love
1- per ar. : chew gutfi at the same
time
\ -,’t necessarily a fool be
< »e h» v . the faculty of mAkinz
others he is.
~ni> two classes of
:r. he world ’hose who are
marr:»*d ar.d those who are willing
to t><
r '!e r.!;ni»« may he next to godll
r,e«-< » • ;» mkes a lot of advertis
ing * * «oap. nevertheless.
The Soft Answer
'I r r * pred asklnr the boss of
my deva: * nent for a raise, so this
t.• *: I went right up.to the su
pe intenden* and struck him for It;
told h m I had grown gray In his
service "
"What did he say***
'He **.. ; if I had worked any
v hsr' < -<«, i would probably have
• grown ba.d"—Fuck.
'■T>.d I rub-rstand yon to ss# that
there 1* nearly always something
broke aho it your motor car?”
"Yes "
"vVh.it i- it, as a rule”
’Me,”
The Old Gardener Say*
I’on't k»np planting hush beans
Thej-- j. Q f| reason whv these
b’-rtCs should not. gi* Into the
grw.r 1 f, f a month yet. as they
ni'i* <•» to six or seven we-ka
* hnv ff.e -vs at her f* warm, Prob
eh *h,-re is no bettor bean for
I*'- planting than Refugee, also
railed r h<*u*snd toOne, altho
tie >. 1 known S’rlngle.is Ore«*n
P< ■! ' »n be planted now as well
a- e, t *. «r The v*ax beans aro
most I |j,|y fp r,|*t,
Let the People
Rule— and Write
Mr. Healy Has a Rea! Suggestion
To fhc Editor of The Times;
Following 1* copy of letter sent
to ’he Board ot Real hiitate Dealers
by me
[•etr.M* Board of Rea! Estate.
Detroit. Mlfh
Attention Mr. Inland. Prea.
Oen'lem-n I r*epactfully ••i****t
for yoijr consider*tlon the necessity
of provldtna a suitable section in De
troit. •*> *re the much wanted south
ern Negro un be decently and
sanitarily h used. I fee| sure that
anything you do in this regard to
further the interest of the Negro
lab-.r will b»lp Detroit mate-iafly
Th t is the time to do It We ar«
g if to have a large population of
Negroes and I feel sure *hat fore
sight the part of your Influential
Board of Real Estate Dealers will b*
appr»ofa*ed by sh» Detroit eitlsens
As far as I can learn the highest
p-• e » charged for sh> -k nglv poor
liv.r g facilities rented to them by
pe/,pi« wh<> have no public or patri
otic interest In our fair city
Sincerely yours.
D. J HE ALT.
July 7. 1917.
Haprl Sewing
Pro tty strong girls that can do
•hat, hey”" a.«k*d a man of another
as they were walking along a busi
ness street.
"Do what?" asked the other.
"That,” he answered, and pointed
to a sign
Wan’ed —Girls to sew buttons on
*he third floor. —Ladle*' Home Jour
nal.
The Philistine
BY BERTON BRALEY
Doubtless I’m an awful boob, maybe I’m a jay. a reub,
Possibly I’m destined for a cell, (padded cell)
But I hereby come out flat with the observation that
I am not—and cannot get—beneath the spell
Os the art of long ago when the “Masters’ lived, you krxw#,
Who were all, the critics say, that Modems ain’t
(That’s their plaint),
For myself I have to say, in my blind and lowbrow way,
That I think the Grand Old Masters couldn’t paint.
Rembrandt gladly I’ll accept; when his master brush swept
Over canvas, the result was simply great (very great) ;
But the mess of other guys whom the critics highly prize
Make no special hit with me, I’m free to state.
Take this Bottichelli gink—how could anybody think
That a mutt whose stuff was badly drawn as his
(Bad it is’),
With his pale consumptive girls and their pale and stringy curls,
Gould be ever loudly touted as a wtz?
• I
Then there’s Rubens’ obese nymphs, and his placid Holland
simps
Who, I’m learnedly informed, are wondrous art (“Splendid
Art’’!);
Well, I’m just rough neck enough not to rave about the stufT
Though I know the critic clasps it to his heart;
So I’ll cheerfully confess I like Art in modem dress
Though I hear the true art-lovers catch their breath
(Bated breath))
For their pleasure Is to rave over Maaters in the grave
And let better Modem Painters starve to death!
t sSk a wV A Sgfesjc? , a
Cooks He Patriotic
by h umiyoros bri ck
Author of *Ths HUl.ll*> of Person
ality/' "Psychology and
Parenthood." etc.
"Herbert C Hoover, at Washing
ton, atrutculln* to con»»>rvo food for
the nation, for the world, ha* aaked
every houeewlfe to corne to hi* aid
Hut between many a willing house
wife and the accomplishment of her
desire la that t'hlneae wall of in
difference- the servant slacker.
"In the general development of
efficiency which has swept over the
industrial world the American serv
ant has remained untouched. t!en
eratly speaking, the hired household
worker of today is a marvel of in
competence. wastefulness. Indiffer
ence. absolutely unamenable to dis
cipline."
Thus Miss Allee Hill Chittenden,
prominent New York woman Most,
people will agree that her scathing
indictment of household helpers is
only too Justified
There are notable exceptions. It
la true, and many of them
Competent, conscientious cooks,
and loyal, efflrlent housemaids are
to be found in Innumerable helphii
Ing families. But most famines
vainly wish that they could find
them.
Thetr hired helpers, and partiru
larly the cooks, seem unsurpassable
for inefficiency and extra*ag.*nc-'
They take no care of kitchen equip
ment, they waste fuel, they allow
food to spoil before It reaches the
cooking stage And much of the
food that they cook is so badly pre
pared by *hem that it is unpalatable,
**ven uneatable
Besides which, they often wanton
!y dispose of surplus food sent hack
from the dining room table Not the
ran’rr but the garbage can is the
place where thev put it.
Competent authorities have esti
mated that $ TOO.non 000 worth of
food is yearly wasted in the t'nited
States For a Ura« part of this
waste- for probably the major part
-the cooks of the coun’ry must he
held responsible
If yon who read this are a cook.
T beg you to g'v. -orre thought to
your own habits as regards the
preservation, preparation, and con
servatlon of food
Your wastefulness may he due to
ignorance It may he due to indif
ference Or. more like]* to -h« ■ r
thoughflessnes* In any even? it is
an economic crime \nd today it is
a crime against patriotism
The coming win’er we have
amply warned, is likely to be a
winter of tremendous food “bor* t e
It Is certain to be a winter of tre
mendous food shortage unless ev< -V
body—cooks included at nn<'e be
comes xealously conscientious in the
use of food
If a tremendous shortage doe*
come, the whole ration will suff< r
Which means ’ha? the wasteful
cooks themselves will suffer as well
as their employers whose food they
have vras'ed
The wasteful cooks will then no*
only have le*-« food to e«? and
was*o bu» will al«o find it U-s«
easy to secure work cooks T' r.
under the stress of hard time
manv who would employ them will
be obliged to do their own ro.»kinc
The wasteful cook of toda'
♦hue committing economic suu , *-
And she t« damaging seriously dam
aging, the interests of her coun*"y
If vou are a cook, and on self
examination are forced to adnv»
that won are a wasteful cook, take
ftiese considerations to heart
You may have no interest in »he
welfare of your employer But sure
lv vou are invested in your own
welfare, and In the welfare of ’he
land to which you owe allegiance by
birth or naturnltxaMon
Resolve today to overcome rour
habits of waste. Resolve, if ne. and
he. to take cooking lessons *hat
you may make yourself more com
petent (lain greater efficiency, be
come more conscientious, for your
own sake and for your country’s
sake
BY carrier In Detroit. 6 cent* a week; else
where, 10 cents a week lly mall, $3 a
year. Call Main 46J0. Buttered at the I‘oat
office in Detroit :n second claim fxia.il matter.
These are times of big things, unex
ampled monstrosities crowd the daily
news columns, but probably the most
monumental and amazing production of
this era of prodigies is German egotism.
Nothing quite so thick, so fat, so smooth,
so preposterous, so horribly sincere, and
.so insanely naive has ever been witnessed
in the long history of the world's mamas.
Violating every instinct of common de
cency, plunging its hands ell>ow-deep in
innocent blood, out-Heroding Herod in
Belgium, and out-pirating the goriest
pirates of the Spanish Main or the Bar
bary (oast, the (German government
blandly asserts that it. and it alone, is the
apostle and chief pnest of Kultur.
The funniest element in the (German
attitude, if it were not so blasphemously
ghastly, is its appropriation of God. It
is a common characteristic of megalo
mania. The inquisitors of the Holy
( hurch sang praises to (iod as they slow
ly pulled the accursed heretic’s joints
apart in the torture chamber; the blood
thirsty wretches that ravaged the native
Americans with Cortez and Pizarro, the
despoilers of Holland under the dirty
Spanish dukes, and the unspeakable
Turks as they rape and raven among the
Armenians, all use the smirk of pious
satisfaction; but it has remained for the
(Germans to combine a high degree of in
tellectual training with a moral code that
would justify crimes as black and damn
able as ever disgraced the records of sav
agery.
William Archer has compiled a num
ber of excerpts from German writers in a
hook called “(Jems of German Thought,”
and to me it is the most astounding, shat
tering thing I have seen in print about
this war. The description of the living
hell of the trenches, of the heinous out
rage of Belgium, of the heartrending dev
astation of Poland, of the murderous,
•owardly and inhuman destruction of pas
senger ships and hospital ships by sub
marines, are all bad enough, God knows,
but this twisted logic, this Black Mass
theology, this smug and fanatic egotism
by which such deeds of Satan are made
white and glorious is more appalling still.
When one reads the utterances of that
precious trio of German prophets,
Nietzsche, Bernhardl, and Treitschke, of
such scholars as Clinch von Wilamovitz-
Moellendorf and Haeckel and Hamack,
and the renegade H. S. Chamberlain, one
is convinced that never since the world
Ixegan has such an epidemic of fatuous
egotism addled the brains of any race
of men.
Behind the sneaking submarines, be
l nind the Zeppelins and airplanes that
drop bombs on peaceful non-military
Fnglish hamlets, behind the rabid sav
agery that enslaves Belgian workmen,
ravishes Belgian women and spits the
children u[>on bayonets, we must not for
get, stands a group of intellectual and
religious prostitutes whose propaganda is
ven more awful than the deeds of the
oldiers; such, for instance, as this ex
tract from Pastor Baumgarten’s ad
dress on “The Sermon on the Mount”
(!):
“We are not only compelled to accept
; he war that is forced upon us, but are
”en compelled to carry on this war with
a cruelty, a ruthlessness, an employment
if even- imaginable device unknown in
previous war.”
If the God that the kaiser invokes so
•onstantly be God, then give us Allah
*• bloody Moloch 1
Laugh With Us
The burly gentleman wan telling his gxler
arv" to the man next him on the top of the ’bus.
“i loaf the receipt." he said,
"hut I wasn't going to pay t.ho , >lr~ Z' h
*ax n*atn He knew I'd paid It, rTSIt
bn* would you believe it when LuMP J ’
I told him I had paid it once '<
Hnd would not pay It amtn.
the scoundrel began to abuse J w
me TANARUS"
"What dlil you do’" asked
the other man.
"Why, I remonstrated with him.’*
"Oh. what did you do?"
"WeTT, 1 talked to him."
"Yhh and thon?"
"Ho whh ruder still. and I replied."
"And to wha* effect?”
"Well. I don't exactly know,** was the reply,
"but the poker whs bent.”
A story Is fold of an Interview the governor of
a certain prison had with one of the prisoner*.
Some of the convicts were at work on anew
building at the time of the of
. . - ftrial visit of the governor, and
gs irrnst -.I the latter was Inspecting the
* ' £z 1 progiexs of the work After
gift contemplating the proceedings
ylWi | a few nlflUtcs the governor re
| ts Cjj marked sharply
| VaJ • "Roe here, my man, you are
ii rl j laying the laths too near to
-1 . ■—— 1 get her, that sort of thing will
never do "
The convict calmly laid down his tools and
said
"Oov'nor, I'm willing to be tuurned off and dis
charged if my work don’t suit. I never applied
for this Job, nr the situation, and if iny work
ain’t satisfactory I’m willin' tQ go*
German Egotism
BY DR. FRANK CRANE
(Copyright, 1915, by Frank Crane)