The Detroit times. [volume], July 26, 1917, NOON, Image 8

About The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920

Image provided by: Central Michigan University, Clark Historical Library

                
Let the Law of Supply
and Demand Alone, and
Bread Will Come Down
Food speculators, as the Times has
previously [jointed out, are fond of talk
ing about the law of supply and demand.
For example, when the price of beef
steak and potatoes soars to unheard-ot
heights ami the long-sufFering consumer
kicks, he is told that the crops have
failed to such an extent that the supply
of beefsteaks and potatoes is not equal;
to the demand.
Or, too many beefsteaks and potatoes
have been shipped to the nations <>t Eu-,
rope, creating a demand in excess of the
supply left at home.
When the farmer kick- about the ruin
ous prices at which he is forced to st\.
his products, it works just as well the
other way.
He has raised more potatoes, he is
told, than th«d£%re people to eat them.
It is a perfect alibi. The speculators
have used it for many years and only
recently has it begun to fail them.
Just now it isn’t working so well.
There are increasing signs that it-’use
fulness as an alibi is about over.
No one questions the basic relation of
supply and demand to commodity prices.
The trouble is that supply, at least,
has been officially restricted.
The cold storage system, intended for
preserving the products of an abundant
season for consumption during lean
years, has been manipulated in such a
way as to nullify the effect on the mar
ket of an abundant supply.
Food speculators have deliberately de
stroyed large crops for the purpose of j
/reducing the supply to a point far below
the demand, in order that high prices
might be extorted.
A great many people have been aware
of this state of affairs for years.
But they couldn’t prove it.
So long as the speculators held con
trol of the commercial processes of the
country they could shape supply and de- i
m&nd as they saw’ fit, and the old alibi (
still worked.
Then, one day, the government shut
down on gambling in wheat futures and
the gamblers, who had been all along
maintaining that it wasn’t their opera
tions—mercy, no, simply the law of sup
ply and demand—which were forcing the
staff of life to famine prices, sat down
to await vindication of their theories.
But, instead, the price of w heat began
to drop at once, and up to the present,
despite U-boat sinkings and elevator
fires, has shown no indication of return
to the old panic prices.
It is being sold now* minus the tax ex
acted by the man who has “cornered”
a large share of the supply.
And now comes Mr. Hoover, who say
that there is in this country a prospec
tive supply of food sufficient to feed our
selves and our allies, w ith a bit left over I
for neutrals, provided it is properly mar
eted and distributed.
Moreover, Mr. Hoover predicts a re
turn to the loaf of bread, once
his administration gets running smooth
ly, and that with wheat at a guaranteed
price to the fanner of $2 per bushel.
Take care of the fellow who is mon
keying with supply and demand, and sup
ply and demand will take care of them
selves.
Truer Words Never
Were Spoken. Michael is,
Than These of Yours
Chancellor Michaelis, the new puppet
premier put up by the reactionaries and
military satraps who surround the
kaiser, said in his maiden speech:
“What our troops have accomplished
in three years is unprecedented in the
world’s history.”
Their deeds arc indeed written in let
ters of fire and of blood on the pages of
the world's story. They are indelible.
They will remain for all time to tell of
Germany’s shame and of Germany’s
crimes. Nothing can ever wipe out the
record.
It was German troops that invaded and
overwhelmed peaceful little Belgium.!
laid waste its fields and farms, ravaged
its cities, enslaved its men, starved its
children and outraged its women.
It was German troops that made of
northern France a desert, that pillaged
beautiful old churches and dwellings and
that, l>east-like, repeated its Belgium
offenses against innocent humaVis.
It was German trodps that murdered
Edith C'avell.
It was German troops that, under the
false claim of reprisals, shot Belgian
men held as hostages.
It was German troops that wantonly
THURSDAY, JULY 26, 1917
and drunkenly killed and wounded little
French children.
It was German troops that stole ma
chinery from Belgian factories leaving
j nothing behind but the gutted walls.
Over 100 years ago English children
shuddered when the name of Napoleon
j was mentioned and looked upon him as
| an ogre who devoured tots.
But Napoleon warred only upon men.
He warred upon them when they were
organized in armies.
The kaiser and his troops war upon
men, women arid children, upon soldiers
and civilians, upon living things and in
animate things alike.
The name of Germany has been ever
la-tingly dragged down.
The reputation of the German soldier
has been fixed forever.
Napoleon did not earn all the terrible
things that were said about him.
The kaiser and his armed servitors
have earned more than can be said about
them.
There art' things too terrible to be ex
pressed in language.
' ■ ■ ■■■■
About Shoes Women Wear
Iveam something about the shoes you
w^ar —especially women’s shoes.
Shoes that sell for $7 cost about $2.50
to manufacture.
Between producer and user about
$1.50 is thus “lost in transit.”
Soles and heels are made of paper,
with thin split leather veneering.
Poor leather that once was used only
for gloves now goes into uppers for
shoes.
Belly hides of cattle formerly never
used in shoemaking’, now are used ex
tensively.
Grade 3, the poorest of leather, is used
in women’s shoes.
It is declared that anew substitute
leather, the composition of which is un
known except to manufacturers, is being
used. It is found almost impossible to
| iron this substitute in the treeing de
i partments.
In some soles a mixture of rubber. ’
rags and paper is used.
< hildren’s shoes are now made from
“trimmings” formerly thrown away.
That war has caused marked shortage
of leather i« not denied, hut the‘con
sumer will still be puzzled over why it
is necessary to pay from $7 to $lO for
shoes made of substitutes for leather.
Tim fact that one big shoe company
rolled up a profit of a half million dollars
last year may help him find the reason.
| From Another Point of View
By C. T. S.
I But tor our bone dry law there would
I probably be a lot of rejoicing heieabou .s
over the decision of the tailors that men's
clothing in 191 H will have pocket*.
I* * *
Possibly not* a few “Hip, hoorays.”
• • *
Speeches of Famous Men
i Silk O’Loughlln: "H *■** #**• *• ♦»<> < « oir.”
• • * *~
W hat s this *1 inquired the angry
j husband, examining the bundle carried
by his wife on her return from the Belle
j Isle bathing l>each.
It was the bathing apparel of a man
who, the wife said, had saved her life.
Nevertheless, the husband ha> started
a bathing suit for divorce.
* * *
MEMORY TEST.
On what date had the Det--o t police ja'led
the last of the Biadk Hand?
The Women’s Council of the National
Council of Defense has issued a prot< >t.
against the kissing of recruits by young
; men. Meaning, girls, that you arc ex
pected to confine yourselves to the regu
lars.
* • •
They hav* called the soldier* boy* to arm
They’re drawn *h*- number* out.
And noon they’ll fill a
Autcwrhcy to rout.
But a man wo know, who halW-d the war,
With a patriotic roar.
Ha* developed a Ilmp.Jn the laat few day*,
That he n**ver had before.
• • ■
Tough luck. Phyllis. Books like you
I had better pick out one the next time
w ho is over the draft age.
• • •
i Perhaps the striking feature in the di-!
| vorce suit started by a New* York hus- j
band against his wife, on the ground that
he fears her, is the fact that the husband
is a lion tamer.
0 *
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY
Thfc woeden bridge to Belle tale wan rep.
1 at temporary.
•• • V
“Git ahead of that machine in front.
Bert; it’s a woman drivin’.”
• • *
Here’s a frankfurter. Hover; the I*?stj
you get is the wurst of it.
* * *
J ever make a willow whistle l
DETROIT TIMES
The Magic Spectacles.
what a V/"
Cut* little I /)//. /$//',
Vi lamb!* J t/m/j
• i|p .
iv u - iiiii.r ■*“ ' *
r*n. 19t7. &y M 1. WeNttr, l i Ctrl) |
©
THIS DEPARTMENT is matnta'ned to shed the ! g*t of truth on the
op-rations of the advertising faker, the quae* and swindler. It
welcome* letters relating experience* with advertisers who nave
been unfair in their assertions or promise*—*no have misled or
duped th« reading pubUc. It will pay proper recognition to hone**. jro»er.
D shonest advertisers *ho may be found in The Times will not be
spa-ed It will print letters deemed of public Interest. Advice will aso
be g v«n to investor*. Only signed letter*, giving the writer'* name and
addres* wilt be considered. Names will be printed or withheld as pre
fer, ed. Address The Ad Mirror, The Times, Detroit, Mich.
F-* ♦ r \ 1 V'rr r- Cun v . **" n* *-• th'ng deft* '» >* r ’ ■ ?’r r **
•• <' ; -y r. . . as I S'-- • :a<l> Invested n ney. r.'it
w > \i } ik- • hear fr tn y u before Iv- 1 in> more *1 , n<t use
n y na-:e 1 ', Inc. M'ch
MP.S A V S
>'• • r:-' rosier* of the Ad Mirror ha * afkmi regard •: this k
The ■! < **! Refining rtyrdlcafe :« no’ ' ted in I’oor - V-i: .*1 of In
: du*“tr:*s for t standard authority, and the 1918 Issue - the latest
•t. I.* < n -• - k brokers know nothing of the concern and it* stock is
not quoted h-re.
/ he Keep Well
£' i
C oi a m n
COLD FOOD
A L-ra’or Is a devire for pre
. -f >..<l by the antiseptic low
up jp at onne and all crumbs re
rxii ’-od If this is no* done these
foi.d- * irn a breeding pi.-ire for
K‘ rm«
TTn . R-U 0 f the aver
ige l« •• t *»x. which Is between 40 de
Kr»'*-s and f<o d*'* r *'..« Fahrenheit,
stop* th«. growth of the lacterla only
t* niptirarily Food, that Is allowed
•< r«*n In in the Ice box ton long
will decay.
In order *o have an ice box work
up f , ( •». higher- stand ir Is of hy
glen* and efßcjencjr you must -
1 K> • ;> it clean
2 Keep the |c,. chamber well
f •»1 so a- to r» p ilate th- temper
Hture
• t »• fne-id'-’iiff- a* quickly
as possible, thus !es-enlng the time
of stirrnv*- and the consequent dan
r of contamination
\ K< « p ti open Jar of calcium
chlorid** In the food chamber box
A- th- to; of the chloride hen»t,'ie«
it oi * r pip,- it off unt.l a dry sur
face ia exptisid.
M»* <nrif'i! about plarlnr milk In
the refrigerator If milk i** kept in
an open v*- -el in an ice-box wi»h
meats an I various Mr.d- of vegeta
bles, it will absorb odors from them
Health Questions Arawt-»d
W R *'W I *t* causes snoring - ’"
When one breathes with some
force thru the mouth and no*e at
th«- same time, the -of* palate which
I ittii'- at th- back of th* mouth Is
vloKti’lj shaken or vibrated Hnd tb*
► norltig aound results.
Tli* ropiißion full describe |s un
usual Hid no d*tinl*-* answer could
t, given tbfujt a thorough exarnl
na'ion Consult a doctor, ii
Surprised
flirl'f Father Hut how can vou
u; >r m v <,, u f te- ■* Twenty’dol
lar-’ r month won't i ay the rent
, Suitor You don't mean to sav
you’ll charge f<>Jith and me rent, do
you?
Md-Mirror
And Advice to Investors
If The* Times Prints It, The Times Believes It
Pointed Paragraphs
WTfcv .isn't a vacation a sort of
head res’’
K - -*nries and movie scenarios
ar* roman- e* of reel life
V.rne', of’en wln« ’he fr«* ba’tl*.
bn* »e!dom the second
W'hen a man Is a bore he is ak
way* the last to discover It.
Some people have weak eyes Just
because they are located in a weak
place
Jus* %» soon as man acquire* his
Ideal h* begins to look around for
a superior one,
A * n an admire* one nrin for
s he q :al,\»- he has and loves an
other for those he hasn't
Wl *n « man asserts that he 1*
Just as t" r, d as another man he al
way* be 'eye* he’s better.
I*on • worry wi*h you on your
- ere is plenty of It on tap
everywhere
Th* vi i -vi*r who mourns the u,**
of hi- V. r -’ wife sometimes tak»
second and continue* to mourn
M-iry a woman abl* to *p*»aV
thr** f'»ur Janauages has r rl*
a mir •* ><> und*rs*ands only on*
ar.d lived ’O rejoice at her good -•
lection
Necessary
■ Y BERTON BRALEY
o
Oh ! *m Ju«t a sort of stick without a «ingle parlor trick,
I t v*» no gift of repartee. of wit | am the goat.
I car. not play the mimic’* par*, anti prestidigitator’* art
p ,methlng quit#* beyond rn»* and i never *anf a note.
1 cannot bar.if plant* for the or soprano
Nor do a double shuffle Jurt to liven thing* a bit.
I re* v envy those who ran. the talented and Joyous clan
V, brighten up a party and who always make a bit.
y e» p m an artleas sort of wight who knows no verses to roelfa,
I ;,, kept the table or the parlor in a roar.
Rut still there Is a place for me wherever I may chance to be
For |'m a bully audience and that is where | score.
I grin at repartee and chaff, at other* pranks I loudly laugh.
And so I know I’m useful In the universe, because
Th. kesters' Joke would not get by unless such stupid folk as I
W* re round about to listen and to furbish the applause.
n sNVV v\\\ vvVV . > i>wr A
v a \vov a Z&'-JS
I>y Webster.
Anniversaries
rnim 1 * \\m\kh«*\hii:i
*** '• r, ■: n*r»'• 1 < • n<r»*s
l»h 1 * *:*• ; • f". •• an 1
I-h o Her.jam n Kr« nklln tn charge.
1T« «'h«r>* M rrl*. it fare "is
An.-, an naval • ?»'. -»r "f th* war <*f
1*! J •r. n \Vi>. I’onn l’ -1
tr: AN . ■*. ngt.-n. I* i* Jan 2* 1«'>«
IM2 Tr ram ’i* sleop-rf-w ar
'at in. was laum o,J at Portsmouth,
\ H
'’ ‘ Sir in Franklin 1 * e*p-<ll
- In ' »»n ! v a whaler
'*•' *- - -s- I 1 .n ‘ in the fath
er ■ f ftv «»i*. f T»x«*. died in
1' ir.• -v■:1) rn In Virginia
M h t •' h 1 ?*• A
is* * s * :>• • • -ns ra‘i to capture
Mh -i'll, <'t.i r- nmtnr»'l.
1 " ! I’eteis, ..f Hamilton cnl
<•* • , or* <1 ih" ninety •"’'■nil
i inc. -Ah;. ah<* named ''t’nrtlna 1
II"' A o T ♦ r*--n. ‘’onfeder
< • 'ni»' -• ■ 11 - ■ ii Virtmlt tnd
r • -».* , 4 . rr r., r 'r -m west V|r
•‘a 'lll'll It. Washington. J V C
r' n M >nr - •••unty, Va Nov 11,
1' 1 *
IS‘2 Rev ('Hr!'* P. Mai* wa*
■ in ' **•"•! ' •‘-•.p /•, sdjntor of the
1'; : tl <* ■ • ■>* ■'* Springfield. in
o\r. ii tn t«.u mint i> ini:
u tit
P* * *h -• tr f at r 4 tl.» Cgptwre of
Pr. *(m
; •. t mtli« strong protest
air<inar Hr.’ hii Mti kill!
I!'!-* if * "ir*»'rn»l Austrian h*-!d
f n ‘r• >«•! •*-% • k 4 0•, no-re prlsor#
ere.
piiiai'a HiKTnriArt
Willin’ H M*rr am farmer. gey
ain'* f M'rinanotn hern In P,**ex
county N V years mro t<wtay
FrnT-* I> H , !*•, ’hr pr»«»n’ gov
ernor f* Nevada b- tn tn Virginia
City. Nav /,■ A A , »tr« hir ■ today
■Tir K ’ar larran T’nifed ! a, at»s
aar.a *' r * -n M;-*' s* fP'. horn In
lai-ka n ir.ty. Tax, Si years ago
t<’»la>
S’ .1 »r. ’ A f «ara formar wall
known n« w ;ar>ar publisher now pn.
i <- f me too >f M- *'< n, horn n ,
« h-rl rt a * on. I K 1.. A3 yaara ago \
today
» . * »r-l M M ta»-, vh" ha* h»*n
«' ■ 1 the UV*tarn Warwick h»-
' a>i»‘ f p' «ti i of intimate
fr at < ar 1 ,4V var to Hr»ald»n' NVIl
a t rn in H< us ton, Tat, 5* y»ara
ago to lav.
The Old Gardener Says:
Hat wha* you ran and ran
wha* you rant," la mora than a
jo! r thl* y» ’tr f’ana ara yrarrn
00(1 high, tho, and It will pay lh»-
avnragr amateur to dry or rrapo
rat* hi* «’irplti* fnilf and many
of tha c»rri*’n vrirrtablra. Thla
nn hr dona hv th*« aid of th*»
-n. or In fh*» oven, or hotter
’ |i hy j «mall ovafKiratlnit ma
rl in* Whatever you do, !**t
nrthlnp br wnat*-d
Was This Telepathy?
■ v h. AnDiaroTn* iihi rn
Author of "Th» RldilU of I’orioQ*
a’lty.” "I’sycholi-g jr and
Parenthood,” etc.
Shortly after ici>l nx to bod on
the night of Sunday, July 1, I had
a curious dream.
I seemed to be In Ixindon, a city
• here I have never hern, in a bind
nee* street. and In front of a news
l*aper office. 1 met a man who told
me that a cablegram had Just been
received by the newspaper, report
in* a wreck in the Niagara river.
• ith the loss of many liven, among
I the victim* being one of my best
friend*.
At once I hurrted into the news
| paper office and was obligingly
i shown the cablegram
From It I learned that a email
I steamboat named tho (’lintnnla pre
sumably after Crov Hinton- had In
i some way been overturned In the
i Niagara About a score of people
were said to be drowned, some
I names being given. Put ray friend's
name was not among them.
Here the dream ended, and I
awoke. I thought of It a few nu*
ment*. wondering at its unusual co
herence and definiteness. Then I
once more fell asleep.
In the morning l again thought of
my dream, when, taking up the pa
l per. the first piece of news that
j caught my eye was an account of
the plunging of a crowded trolley
car into the Niagara river Ten peo
ple mere reported dead and twice
aa many missing.
i The accident i***urr*d in the mid
| afternoon of July l, my dream some
| hours later. Hut. being hundreds
i of miles from Niagara, and having
! been in my house all afternoon and
evening 1 had no possible means of
; learning of the accident until I read
I next da> s newspaper.
| Now aas it merely a chance coin
cidence that, from among the thou
sands of places where I might have
located my dream of disaster, 1 *e
| lerted Niagara as Its scene’ Or was
my dream the result of something
| more than chance?
Was it. possibly. »h* result of
(telepathic action’ Had I received,
j by some mysterious mental wireless
means, Information which remained
-atent in my mind until a fa>oring
I condition in sleep permitted its
I emergence in the form of a dream
having the telepathlcally acquired
information as its basis’
I admit I am Inclined toward the
I latter explanation For there are
on record many dreams similar to
mine—too many. It seems to me.
I to think that chance coincidence
could account for all
Thus, as 1 wrtte I recall the •ingu
lar dream of a San KYanejsco lady.
Mr* S C. Bugbee, who knew inti
mafely John Wilkes Booth. In this
dream MY* Hugbee saw herself in
a thea’er where Booth was aiding
Between the acts Booth came to her
and asked her how she liked the
play.
Frankly she told him that she did
not like it at all He became err
raged, drew a pistol, and shot her j
In the bark of the neck.
Awaking in a panic. M.r a Bugbee
immediately narr Fed the dream to |
her husband Next morning rain*
the terrible news of the &*sas*lna J
rii.n of President Lincoln by Booth I
In a theater, and with a pistol as
the «.*apon
Was it only by chance or was 1*
by telepathy, that Mrs Bugbee.
asleep In Ban Francisco, had her
strangely coincidental dream’
As stated, many dreams akin to I
this and to mine are on record. I
Many more, 1 am aure, might be j
,>ut on record, and for the purposes
of scientific Inquiry should bo on
-record.
Therefore I would ask any among
my readers who have had sue?
dream* dreams, that la to say, ;
suggesting a definite connection h«*
tween the dream and some actual j
happening at a distance to com
mum* ate them to me la tho c*re of
this newspaper.
The Brave At Home
The ms 1 who hinds her warrior's
*n *h
XX ith smile that well h*r pain dis
sembles.
The while beneath h*r dmoplng lash
One stsrry tear-drop hangs and
trembles,
Tho Heaven alone rerord* the fear.
And Fame shall never know h*r
story.
Her heart has shed a drop as dear
As e'er bedewed the field of glory'
The wife who gird* her husbands
sword. •
Mid little ones who werp or won
d»r.
And bravely speaks the cheering
word.
XV hat tho her heart he rent asun
der,
Hoorned nightly In her dreams to hear
The bo 11 sos death around him
rattle.
Hath shed as tarred blood as e'er
Was poured upon the field of battle'
The mother w ho rnnrenis her grief
XVhlle to her br-ast her son she
presses.
Then hre-«Mes a few hrave w rds
and I rtef.
Kls-mg the x*trlot brow sh»
blesses.
With no one h it h»r secret *»-,d
To kn ■« the pain that w-lgh» upon
her.
Sheds hoiv blood ss e'er the sod
Received on Freedom's field of
honor'
Thomas TVi'hanan Bead
(’lever Boy
The fontl mother of a smart boy
on a Maine farm was making pre
serves one *lay. and ns she sealed
them Up she labeled them thus:
"Hooseberry Jam. put up hy Mrs.
Mat-on ”
Johnnie discovered the shelf on
w hich they were deposited, and fell
to work Having emptied one
the Jars, he took his school pencil
snd wrote underneath the label:
"Put down by Johnnie Mason "
Woman's Journal
Atavism
‘‘Father, what kind of boat* were
the rams they used so much In the
Civil war?"
"They were probably the ances
tors of the ewe-boat* of today, my
boy."— Puck.
BT carrier In Datrolt. 6 centa a week; els*
where, 10 cents a week. By mall, 93 a
year, (.’all Main 4520. Filtered at the Post
office In Ltetrolt an second class mail matter.
Children and Grown-Ups
BY DR. FRANK CRANE
(Copyright, 1915, by Frank (’rune)
\Vt» make two mistakes, one in treating
children like children, and the other in
treating grown jieople as if they were
not children.
It irritates a child just as much to be
patronized and patted on the head and
looked down upon as it would you.
What he xvants is comradeship. What
he resents is being treated entirely dif
ferent from the rest of the family.
When you say to your neighbor, “Will
you please have a seat?” and to Tommy
"Sit down!” of course it hurts. And it
may be necessary and hygienic for him
to be packed off to bed at eight o’clock
just when the rest of the family are be
ginning to have fun, but can you blame
him for not liking it?
If you’ll try treating a little girl some
times precisely as if she were grown,
go on and say all the big words you
please and don’t explain, be just as polite
and considerate with her as if you were
two lever equals, you’ll be surprised at
what a remarkably wonderful little girl
she is.
And why do you tell Tommy to be a
good boy? You don’t tell grown-ups to
be good men. And why exhort him to
i lx* nice? Did any human being, old or
young, ever want to be “nice”?
Suppose you act toward him. as much
as possible, just about as you would act
with somebody your own size, and see
what happens.
Os course it can’t be done. But, In
the language of W. S. Gilbert’s opera,
"you might try.”
Then there’s the other mistake, think
ing that grown-ups are different and
can’t understand the child motives.
I am a hundred years old. more or
less, according to the direction of the
wind, and I am amused at the impass
able gulf younglings seem to think gaps
between me and them. They assume as
a matter of course that I don’t want to
dance or play tag or roll on the floor.
The fact is I would rather play a good
game of marbles any day than golf, and
if anybody would welcome me I’d enjoy
pussy-wants-a-comer or a fine old kiss
ing game like postoffice. But it’s no use.
j I’m barred. 1 have to go along and bo
a man when ail the time I’m not. In my
secret moments I never think of myself
as a big. logy man. And thank goodness
when I dream I have all kinds of games
with the other children.
And I have an idea that if we remem
bered that all men and women who ever
were children are children still we would
understand them better.
Says Mary Austin: “It has always
been assumed that child psychology is
grown-up psychology diluted with sugar
and water Ghildren do not
think of themselves as children, hut as
kings and pirates and heroes and fairy
princesses. . . . Always they figure
themselves as grown-ups, or at least do
ing grown-up things.”
f Laugh With Us
An Adirondack guide onr dny foil asleep In
'he wood*, and a bug crawled into hi* ear. A
naturalist, who wan one of the hunting party
was able to discern tho Inaoct
with hi* magnifying glass. Af I * '
for a careful examination he I /SJ
walked away, without attempt ItV 'V
irg to relieve the guide’* dl* T*
’’Why didn't you fake it out 1
of hi* far?” ahk**« 1 one of hi* v
friend*.
"What did I want with If?”
quei >.J tho absorbed naturalist "F already have
a specimen of that kind of hug in my collection.”
A man who was murh bandy logged entered a
local tailor’* the other day and asked to he
measured for a n*w suit The assistant Inform
. — v - «... *-<| hitn the bos* wasn't tn.
C LL "Never mind; tha'M do an
,fu'. v ‘"d." answered th* mnn. and
kilp vG ,h *’ assistant h- gan to measure
CTrf !J . A'_J hint W’hcn he had taken the
Jr '/ l • measurement* for the coat and
/Tl Uu i V ' ,H, Mp. scratched hla
"**’ ‘ head and looked down at the
1 " 1 flliin’s legs
"Wot Hrfa looking at*” asked
the man
"Why, Aw’m lookin’ at the |eg« Aw'vo never
me,-inured onybodv like the*- afear.”
"Oh. nr\er mind my lerv," *ald the man. "Thee
measure urn straight, owd lad Aw || bend llm
mlsel’.”
A woman entered a f'hicago sayings bank
and placed |sn In front *»f the teller He pushed
out the hook for her signature and said, "Sign
on this line ”
"My whole name?" T *
"Yes, ma'an " I |&P
"Before 1 was married’" ijjal,Hfl|
"No. Jusf as It is now " A l
*’An' n»y husband's name, ¥ %s *
too’ Why, the man has been #
dead seven years'"
"You should sign your n.-.nie [
Mr*., followed b\ your bus
band's name, or Mrs. your t'hrlsflan name and
then your htisbnnd'a full name, or you might
simply sign your Christian name and y«ur bus
hand’s surname Write it a* you are in the
habit of signing It"
"I can’t write.”