The Detroit times. [volume], November 08, 1917, NOON, Image 12

About The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920

Image provided by: Central Michigan University, Clark Historical Library

                
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1917
Signed: “Cosmopolitan
New York, For the l nited
States of America"
If there ha* been any doubt in the
mind of Kui <t Wjlhelm 11. of <if mi any,
about what the real temper of the Amer
ican people i', or as to how closely and
solidly they stand behind President W !-
son, there ought not to be at wr t
ing, if word has been broken to 1 *m "•
how his allies in this country fared in
the election of Tuesday.
If he has the returns from New orV
at hand, he knows how badly Hillquit.
••peace immediately ' candi lat *, HIS, tl
KA IS KIPS candidate, was vpudiated.
If he has the returns from Ohio at
hand, he know,- that Cleveland. Payt.cn,
Toledo, Akron and other cita - f, *ok aim
at “peace immediately" candidates o
mayor, running 1 on the Socialis' t cket
and inviting an expression of ‘.he senti
ment of the voters, and got their nun.
These were candidates designed to
give aid and comfort to the ri< aen/ol
lern family arid the Hohenzollein family
is entitled to all the aid ai i <
gets out of the return 5 .
New York City, with it- large repre
sentation of foreign-born and recently
made citizens, was the scene of tremen
dous effort put forth by radicals un
swerved in their traitorous purpose by
advices, within a week, of the spilling
of American blood on the firing me in
France.
By votes of those counted upon to I*>
more or less ignorant of the country’s
purposes in a declaration of war against
or involving nations whence they came
it was hoped to discredit the Washing
ton administration, but the PLOT failed.
They would have signaled to Berlin:
'‘Look and take heart.
But it is a doleful message that they
send in the news that carries the result
of the voting.
It is written in the Kaiser's own blood,
in the hand of those whom he once num
bered among his own, but who have
tasted democracy and are willing to sigh s
for more.
It reads:
“NO IMMEDIATE PEACE. NO
PEACE WHILE THERE EXISTS, ANY
WHERE, AN AUTOCRACY. NO
PEACE UNTIL THE CRIME OF BFT/-
GIUM, THE MURDER OF EDITH
CAVELL AND OF OTHER INNO
CENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN HAS
BEEN AVENGED. NO PEACE WITH
OUT VICTORY.”
Signed:
“COSMOPOLITAN NEW YORK, for
the UNITED STATES OK AMERICA.”
Os Course the Reforms
For Detroit Carried - It Was
An Unbeatable Line-Up
That the people of Detroit should have
voted as they did on Tuesday, in favor
of the charter reforms submitted to them,
is not remarkable. \
It would have been remarkable if they
had failed to support the measure- sub
mitted to them.
Detroit has grown and ha> i*a>'ed up
thru the list of citie- until it s now
fourth IN POPULATION, but today, in
the matter of the governm* nt. it lag
far behind cities so small that they do n
count in the race for numbers.
We have given ourselves a tine -.t. ’ m
the direction of a more conspieuou place
among the cities as a municipality aim
ing for a high av« rage in eflici* ncy and
for a more healthful growth.
Our first advantage vs ill lie in a smaller
common council, for which we have voted,
because from a smaller common coum il
we are bound to receive I**'ter r«p»*
sentation of the < ity\ interest a
whole.
This step should have ln*en taken many
moons ago and civic conditions would
today reflect its advantages, but it is let
ter late than never, and we will have to
wait a short time before we cut ei.>o\
the great benefits that will come from
the elimination of cheap ward polite in
the council, the same as they have come
thru our smaller school board.
That those citizen' who voted were in
any way half-hearted in the rebuke they
administered to the present sy .tern <*i
representation in the common council, or,
rather, the lack of any such thing, i> iv
futed in the vote by which they went
the limit and expressed themselves in
favor of a nine-man common count il, to
be elected at large.
i V'Onco our provides for (his
happy state of government in Detroit,
we should go forward w ith a bound to the
goal that is set by the slogan on the seal
of the city: "We hope for better
things."
Th« happy result of our local election
I ». i ..... hiHli'i'T/ ft v ;>}i«d Kit r (Mil
ro opera!mg •° l ' l ' Ae ‘” u * ir -^
The pros stood as a unit foi charter
inc a united ■•ffort put
fort Hl > v oil i* t, \i ( o i ini/. i: >* * • 1 1. **' t
thr voice of the pulpit v\*i> riiii in rut**
heat ion of thecitv v i)urjK>>c\
It was an untamable Inn- 115 .
Now York Declares
For Woman's Suffrage:
The Nation Will Follow!
, -Th x et ; v• * * u s . no' - Ne"
York state b\ a major :; .or •xunating
pHI 000 means, unless a!! signs :.iil, that
women everywhere in the l nitei States
In capturing New York • e women
suffragists have made their first breach
Tin > have earned tin commonwealth
which ha> the largest congressional rep
resentation of the I r.ited htatt?-.
Unless all precedent is di-. cgardtxi
New York’s t:; representatives will vote
for the Susan ii. Ant ony ar er.dment
w hen that measure comes up in the lower
house.
They have added millions of voters w ho
must b« reckoned with in the next pres
idential election.
T- • - • \ ‘ :• . *: ■ v-'-t ir.g
strength -f w* ;r.> n < •* *• r - .:’: .vg"
«tates. will be too powerful to he ignored
by any political party.
National equal suffrage is about to be
come a reality more >:>eedi!v than some
New \ erses For “America”
“America” is a ><-ng we ail love
From our earliest- days in school we
have been taught to sing it. It is part
of our youth-time memories. The fact
that we share its tune with British, who
use it for “God Save the King,” has
never bothered us.
And that makes very apropos a sug
gestion recently advanced by Ixxrd Aber
deen. He says in Canada it is now the
fashion to add another set of verses to
the English anthem and points out this
same set might well he added to our
“America.”
The verses exprese the hopes of-all of
us. and might well be committed to mem
ory and sung the next time “America”
is announced in any patriotic American
assembly: r
"Go*! hi#*"* our *p!*nd;d rn^r
*af«. aga , n
(;oj «nv<> c".r rr:‘-r'’
Hfiippv and ?lor.o.:«
t’auni und ( hiV.,lron,..
Winn*-?-* of fr« ®rl. m.
From Another Point of View
By C. T S.—
i
Also, the Detroit police are losing" no
time in failing- to find a clue in our latent
slaying mystery.
• * •
Thing* That Are Bette- Po-gctten
W ••• « .ft ; h * r ''irn '- rr:
- *;,;d that y< ir
! '-vin* hu«ba’d ;* g*-M.;r.* roxi • u tv frun»
Th*-" paid tt:“ the hotter ton ght f * .. ,*
b#.#ide bo I*-***. a p<-r*cn than t’olnr »! *.n!,ir
L Ma' klcni /if th* v ’
• « w
May*** it u.is *(a;i'o if wa> to r.*• a
bridge, that the administration
couldn’t swing it.
* m
'ITALIANS MAKE
ANOTHEO TANO
H ed l l r »
, V, • ...
tip with th* ni 'hu:; n
• * •
('. TANARUS; S.—While on Woodw at d-avp;, ve>-
terdav. a voting man ny.. shouting from
at' ♦’!«■• at<*d |K»si» a.', a • At
doing o\er.” May I a..k, are then- arc ■
on in Windsor? DO<’.
• • •
Should «<if* t«» m« *mi *,*■,;
**Y«»ur w ith |«i ernno <1 for todav "
I’d for youth a quick r* mj.„ '
" >V iiow.t run h;»«* »o dii-oern.
T'» d* Mi-aie :ind fa »•»*•#•* •
T it** !*«• f 4 Th*- t'* n» p:*’*'t
|‘d f'/ik*' 'if. for wt*h d< ’*bTo pr.
t On and I but ha\* 'h*> *■! *n r *- Uhlh\
s».rT!*.ftni*>* I think *h. things r-wr-d.
That o tuintf .r- *h> iM rot h. . rr. and
Wi • h man'- r* mor**- for vonth * rtM-
Por mm*, and for a r l of <*ir rtik** 1 *
\Vf n it ( , n ._,*,,. .f t*«
IWaovkid i>.r*r*n •hV ,oti- r*v
So that th#- vr»o 'o rot . on and b**
Our br* hofKl all fr'-m *ur* ***♦ -
!(• b*«,«u-U. in- plat o»r imr to hid#*.
1 m Os a! »f lit* *-r r*u • !. ■»
It hurt-, when on* «. m ~n In I f.-.
To do hi* h**“f par# <n th*.
I/> think of all »h«. ttr • hr 1 a#*d;
Th*. w(Mi<lhf>x that h» Htlvht h > • 1!!■■/!;
The Mfj.* h#*’d wived on v -tvh nr 4n)
Hi I h* not up ,m«l tun i- a
P< thapr th.- «cb*»TT**- o -«i wr.Mal.
Vth llttlo Ilk« l(b«.ft4 of »t .'»nr>
Tt it b*ty In two tit » -till »’ | 11\ • *
Whilo th* > ha»* tr,« h* t to f. r K iv**.
• • «
\ Arc they dc|x»i ! tTng Omai *<n
ground of lieing an undesirable colonel?
* m
"It should Ik* liom»* in mind, tjuoth
Phyllis this a. m.. "that since the mo •
moot for wheat conservation, it >hot!ld
alwayk be sung. Columbia, li t* Diahai:
(am oi the < »cean
DETROIT TIMES
A esaMli« II- &§: t \
i,’ j, I Sut’POSiri MT A'lU •;••)
N .I'llilr 1 J)Ay ?HouiPiCMt o”
! | | i Thamks&iVim !!! ~
DEPARTMENT s rra nta ned to s*ed t * '• the
opera*. c”» o f t*e advertising take-. the 3jr> ad **> ~ r . >'•
welcomes letter* re at -ng e uper; enr es a:■ a■ - . t A -* v *'
been unfair in the<r as*e-t>ons or promise*- have wsied or
duped the reading public It ail pay proper recogn ::on to h>nest
titer*. D<*hor>est who may be found m Tr e Time* ■■ l no* ’• e
• pa-ed. It will p r nt lette-s deemed 0? public mte eet Adv e a a-o
be given to investor* Only s gned lette-s, giving a ter's -a' - ? J r J
address a 11 1 be considered. Names will be pr.nted or withhe'd as preferred
Address. The Ad Mirror, Tne Times. Detroit. Mien.
J W JVrhtel. M* Pleasant. V • !- u- . * - -■ * 1
from the rw'iano eon-pat ineorpor s’- •} .of ra- <• N
Delanos Kh-'irofi’mrn n •,.r'V!**n>r,. m *end a r t >
ebate-' Tb* concludes:
■‘.Vi soon a* y our rheum.v ism baa left vnti <»n ,4 r* l> w» >' ■" *jw >■< ■■
it sery much ,f you wilt rreommerl Delano- < JtKjueror to ot*> - ~
fßfrrentiiWy. at least. »hl* let Inr wou tl «<" tn so filar ■' ■<••• .. «•■:■ • *“*<
th* fre- trial treatment. We <ioub r if jf would wOrV. '.j f thin ■ f un
prafice. In fact, the plan ba.« all J b‘ *-«»n • *of a ’ v plea : ■ '■’* * r
humbug. The Delano nostrum wm aftftFxed by the cbemii »of N
jiako-a. who reported AS follow*
Tl •♦senb * • » *"**
n• ». • . a ’t ! - «• n'n* ' *“ '*
We are also rehab!) Informed 'hv *he I) n. omfli r ;ke ><m*> v . f-. »j
ha* the money u can otr *n*t; .* *■ »\
York which makes ;» b <>r b>r- •-»* --Hir.* n«.t:« *>• u >.>
L.«f 4> ff. r „ for OT Mi! M .'I * - fit * -V '* *♦II * * i''M< ■' 1
\
*# « - , . r v TANARUS» . , *o\ v, . f•* - ' «ho 1
If n*- K**r< n your p -t' «•**■ •• ■* * * *
free rria: treatment
Anniversaries
-
fff : : f Vi-ffJ n
4* r aii'i * ■" n«
c> #••*!« ht i ni.-i •<*•■*■** *
r _ r , «n<t - hu« • t*-? r ♦ f; '
i : ■’ ■ ■ * 1 • •''
* f f§ J !j< fl i *' t f 9 ■*'- * *
*1 \ft \Mi l«»ll%* IN IIM " 'H
* th*ir
f (*fl % \ % VI9 Kl9lft \ % N
*
* . 4 V ; r*tt V\ h 1 1 ' v
•* 1 \* nfi* if • h
v* r# ?, \ «Herman •*nt*jf **• ?
r M -*• rr f * « ' * • . ■ • ?' <
( oiji !n*t * ?KiJ Him
•y. . Jim » ia nrl r,i .Jo*
%
• . r* f *
. m «rv| <ftlnl#Ai i**tt * **l*# I *
ft)* f Off? r»M4«ni| * \t» P» f o.‘ CH'h
The Great American Family.
fCopvnr*v, jq<7 ( h r »
JbeAd-Mirror
And Advice tn In\«Mor«
f The Time* Print* It, The Time* Brieve* l
Wanted. Trained Nuro
—~ T'.' '‘niiiniMHi on Nur*»lmc of th«*
< iun' .! < f National rv # *r» ■ j* ■ ;!
inn (•
.«p» i< not t<’i ih* fir nti ■ n*\
r ir • th» • ni < <1 r*ta»* At
>•> ' *■; n*ir*> •* n'•«*«!.-
f , . r rrimbrr 01 u t*-4 wo
r• : ■ <1 f 1 A * p' n■ . »
ailsHr* ptipjilv :« :»* »n«r fill
.|o* r. »v*4i> bv wat r»":'iir. n*
Th» <i- 1 11»«- ~’ r >n*' i ur •
• t oi, n J.-I b> Ml'* Th* rTTf* • ,
jtp« ,**• bf •-n * n o •• • i •
~ . <<«)£„'r(<>nal roll* <n«i h
r -- a * *< 1 o tlf Th'
tj1,.,; , Y b i| | i
• <l> ,'i‘ for a-irrit o«» u
J«r»* ii l r* w* '• ‘>24
■ n •in Jat iftif • • wi
. oil# a:«- wot:i< (i TV-
Miri •!<*•- n * P ri
' OVrfl tit. tM'l! •)< .1 M*
f , i*-. V
n i’ >p!»*’ rr» > »*i
■
i he t\ ecp rV eU
C olunxn
E PI OE W ICS
. ■
•• n * rn.Mi Y• r l**«*on from th**
profile * ion a>? tfpops by
' -n v> m?: > iw* rompulsory vacci-
Kr.r'vu! :V.p. . md th» T!n>*f 1
\ ' r t , » ! r,, t IT».; 'I n<i
on. v sjn. • *■ r. »nt croafh of var
in »' -in «r• *• v ■ • nation and tl»»*
W‘“r •rl?a;*fion of our *aopU ha
ipot b« an uouxual din
I* 1 ~ fak. nu- a long tim*■» •{» ap
pr* - !ii*«« • vain*- of varri nation
v ■ (I** ' f..*\ *
: - or . • Ih,-af. of pr.
* * n ai by J tui l r nn<i
Tn-v* n-i h*tf»r knowt
, f ,» v,,. . r\ f * , .f. »Inn
• • • 1
V ■ : r:i r« \ a *- inV'i.r,
u. ’ . ts -a ciia >H‘’ •, , i»
Hfi tn Oi.f'i'onn A osr' '•rtf
a
■>■ : > > »•’ 'u o (ft .1 hi
.r- y and i i» '.I i(i a * an adtfl r«-
• i ’i -ii ii tv i»f < ommu
> > t a I. ... i- < i *f np hon<f
it»' fifi ifi,i , 1 ii ihf* wt*4' jipf
Seeing Us in France
An Knp'i :'v< iu;»n *»* 1! Am«n' ?n
F?n.f{i*’ • ft if tJ,* r urns vuil! h< v >
<k« n, <, . f,f ji< i ' if y *» Air/ r
ir, ♦:«. • ’ . rp !•'*••• n* Sh« VT*«
• i -h*‘ ; it*’v ho -• •• *1 at S'l-iir
’<(] viv< • ft- foilo ’n* pk{»'" • '
' ■ .> , .y (r: in 'h >»f>v**f*ib*-r l**Uf> Os
fio -1 ff • i • V. < pin *.
VVb‘ rt f: ' t'fn»' *lo* h rr.m*- *"
in i |! 'it t. moihrM
vh« • • *<onw *r<- wound*d »n r>***i
,» < p !>• ftnn»*
• . >1! r o. • v> ill
y :r ! iff) < •■r r ’ijr rot »ln*'* ‘l 1
f 1 • 1 Viwn t .r v h«< f>. ■ •" 0.
*1 ttt>d .»n«l rh»! 1
» • nf A -i« :• <• n worii has
• j,r» *■<! it* rf<» i»'; Th**r** 1*
J ~f , t« r nl| ' -iff ft- t*
I * '«• t ;t > ng to *lt f 1 t*t iHi.il>*'
. f * »fiy ."i * imMHty 1* « *!l ahn
,i . nit'’* n>’ I'i‘linK f' r tf>** mural
—— -■ *.i- ■ »Ul. I ■■emit.
V no th«* oho aI a; lift of
•t.l ' m/ t tth at >i" ••nil of
** i iiv, Y»f a tuft* <1 t»* wf in
of lino*w, ami w. \-r»0
/ »t,i |.«>«>r «oun». 1 f* >
. ft ft in »>»' If <l ri hluOfl
. ’ ■ til W if' O »I ‘ V *•
,•> if >im 'nii t• r* i'i lh**
hail to it” n»'iab !w,f inc
:iH‘l iti*-o* rarrfii'H -»rli-i>-H
;r :»tj U.tltllHi. • \VI.«-n VO-.l ftllrth of »h»
hmO of *otin«l« from wfii"h mow! of
I ,'iu‘inies of Kllicioiuy
hv ii. uimviiTns nNi i r
\i|( . f "Th» r. J.llo »>f Parana
l*»yrholo<y aiui
Parvnth. ad." ric.
Krlf i- nr> li«* <4 in in> « t>« mu •>
nn*.it imi< f.iri I One of the uur.«i
t • ii\ % \ not hei i•* dou ont*T.t A
ihod of HtiiM'ial pot**n< y i*. worry
rhott'itli i' of moil aii bt*lvi back
ii ihri, i f.O'i n railing* 101 no otli** 1
• •on than that 'hr) ait eiivioiu
. ml' ill *• ohm nu tl.
j w -t I were in John Jones’
' . •'' till 1 *.l\ 111 tllt'lllM'lVi'-*, Will
• •li >• 'o -%ru> fellow work* i to
vhom ito*' are ,n a juibtinlin.it*' po
get i 1 1 - morn | i\ rV m
1 ! . au«l loo* a far «u>|. - job
IP io*"*n i have to rimi** grub
! •*. d*n» ti b• ; • ' In* firti tlnnn m th*
n e'lrng When b*> d** * in it!
be* tirti* '<> U<» i v to *oi at a des 1 - ami
X *• Ot’lt'fJ*, W i 111 * * 1 tlMVl* tIJ *d,iV •
'I! jtA'
Ii r n't fair Pm juM aw rbvei
i■* Put they tioo'-' tl 1 ill aloii*.
on t to v **» give •iii* a i liani'i "
Tin* mental attitude ihu.t voir-oil
,* m*l* i'll i uftnu»*t «nis on** thu not
»" lob-: It i** datnmroi.i* to
tli** m#n who hi*' * uv'.o'i* lob i,
l .1 ii -i onterv -il „■ Mira n« n
>; of promoiion.
! ii*!- to iimk** tb* ui. ion -< ion*
l> or itmonMiou**!), ora* ih**lr
work i’ 4* aii**ns whatever little iti
• * ■*• o ' m.n prviou.-iy have bad
• . ■ work
Vr:.l aor done without tb*' *ri*n
Mi>: of in'* r* it u work *ba( t*
{>■*•*> ;:' • ’o b** badlv don**
li* ii **. »h * .r envy and ilo* tor* nr
ita .ifiro! o aftr: t in fume d»cre*
t'< > i niii'il health 11, in add!
m 'h** 1 - worry oirr tin do .v n*’>*-
t.sh niiiiii ihri are p r **grt'.sing thi*
*m* ■ |<i **? ■ to th ir health us-ty b<
doubly serious.
Joi envy di«i ontent ami worry
or** a, truly p< imm* u.* are sttych
ntm at-'no ami prU-v*U arid
Tl • if< nge th** working'* of
ev**'v boil ,v organ Ml** n! cilia’ ion
o- »! tdo si th* d.itiv-t on of food
M*- * riiviti'in of tin* want** prod
■ t*. ~f di... *M< n
A (*• -ul' it becomes inrraas nx
d.fll* u!t to V. *rk at *oy h..;h I* I
i * Mt v »in'i! soon or la'** the
i-rv.o .■», discontented vvoirv.ng oto
w i] hav* real occasion to wonder,
not wh«n I ">■ will be promoted bn
tot long ;h* v will be permitted to
- i,< jobk
fin t d.ft'* r* n' the OUteoo'e wotlid
be if t sensible men'til aitiMid*
w er- adopted, if 'hose sho are f > ■!
*f % iTivlous would only fell tbeiu
elves '
John Tones has b»*en promoted
fiste than l. and there must be a
good r **a*on for it.
“perhaps 1 have not worked nut**
as raPhfully as he. Perhaps h»
ha* d)s< overed a secret Os sucoesj
>. *. hi lave overlooked
“1 must study his personality and
bs" meth<*ds If I am missiTir any
•f *1 it w o*i'd be to my ad van
I;>c* I <s*rs»llll> ought to find out
#t)H' It IS
''Meantime 1 cin ontv congratu
.lohn June and wish but <on
linu'd good frtltune. while 1 s**i to
work to win promotion myself
An pttPude *u< h as thts ibso
In’ i* free from th* noyio s inrr*
ei«*nt of envy, dltmonrew at i v»<
is on ra 'ha* will help to ral-e. no’
low.- the level of efTclcney
Vn*l the htghe* th* eftl'itncy lev*
<?in be 'ais'd ’be gt*a »*r tb*' r
ir d* <■' las o* <re *.i. ’o b* T ?
t- a fru'h which require ■ no demo
v'ra’ion
Pointed Paragraphs
\ !<!*« :«*ttirn**d Is a ki**** earned
Anv man has ’oo n">''h monev
iho b o*. it:of " than w • * ve
Bhl<ces* w )1 go a h ick r*u’ of it*
way to dodge a Ivzy man
Hpeakini of women's *■ vruplexion
so ,n2 * ■ n't a1 w v * h* li• vine.
A man may po* ket his pride, bir
worn* n has to conceal hers *lm
W lo re
)i j« 4 isv to iipprerii'i the points
cf . s. rnion when 'he> ;ah the otlur
S**ni* rri**h attempt o practo*
v i. it they pr< ;*■ b bu' they soon get
out <>f the pia’tri'
Pntll rup'd re<overs his stgbt
•’old r ‘ ig-' w ill ion tin tie (i) !>>• r :o r **
or t»*s* of a failur*
\o v.ondit th* way of 'h** fj.in
j*i* o i hard when one *on*<der
ih*' noun' of travel thereon.
In ime of p» ace |•*pm •• for
ar quoted the young man who
I *d just sqiiandi ted a lo' of h *
di atned otn on an engagriinnt
' :Cg
if ~ i. 'u A d ’o ni ke ho»l
\ , pi|s in< #*t h*' i * sure to have ;i w f*>
j who t: ink In ought to mike Mi> m
lay over
th* m ar** •*llfT*■ 1 1 n«. if **««*tn« atmoat
in' mhh ** liint ’*r> pot » *m» of th*
*a **- whuh Mini* 1 to Non ill y nr*
•thoroly h** I dlmnf*** #*d, and
'r; >t\ from »rudn b**forr thry ftr»*
i’ *n to th*lr ward* And v* t •tj
•at la n< oomph*h**d than!* «r-to an
imnnlont* appnratu* whidh lookatlk#
i »ra*ll*» nil* p#>D*l*‘.d ov# r th* hath
•■t • quickly wsthoti ♦ undo** inn
in«l with tli*’ Ki«nt<> i po did* fn*
tit h<*th to th** patltut and th** ho*
pt’al Kt n* rally
“Anti as it h*ains ?»o th** pMl»*nf*
<• : D< on V"h**n#*v« h ri>r*ft
•ii p< rrnit* It, h** h*<* hi- ha*h It
i- r >t an *»rclihnft> bath A s* lit on
f ».,*'* <l Jaw*h** in th** w . **m for
t i*t.tn * has prov*d so *fT«*«tlv**
that a man who*** lniurt**« would
••♦•fa to prohibit ah*'tunc nior*
*n an old fft*hlofl«**l b'anVot ba»h
. v I. wa-t*d in fill! •* to th*
hitt io'*no n’ o' hf* »**.m ral * omh
OiiU and th* wound b.'Hf. :
"Th* -am*- d* t* rmimdly
• ifO ha *•>* -« al on th** v^ard
wti 'h With tvk»* • V«*i*inr<» nr** on
it’iallr amall. f*; **rairin#r 12 b**«la
P ••« i- lifthtn* sf* *<v**ryw||**r**
Ts «*ri ts a f**< tin;, of *pa< «• and
?t«** 100 n*l ail a !>♦.*» nr* of bdatl*
v\ I*. with fha Whit** wall® ami th»*
whit* imfnrtna «*f th** ntir***® and
ordcrll**- and ‘hr B**n**tal qui**t on*
I fr. u on* ■« ii m a land of prar*> an«l
lth*» ahtnlngl* iimnarnlata "
t>Y carrier to Detroit, 6 cents a week; els*
1 9 where. 10 c**nt» a week By mail. $3 A
year t all Main 41.20 Knfered at the Post*
office in LKttroil aa secoiul claim inutl matter
The Deeentifyin^
Functirn of Monoy
by or frank cranf.
(f'opv'igtTt 1015, fcv Kr ink t ranei
1 (
Os course, people v. it It money are hot
better than people without, a pour but
honest fellow is as jjooii .»** a millionaire,
money tines not mean virtue or intelli
ya'iiee or manners, a man’s a man for a’
that, ami .so on ami forth.
Still—
It is a curious but umleniable fact that
money is to a certain extent and in many
actual instances about the best ready
to-hand Knup, > of dirt.
there .-* no money s decenti
fyiuy: function.
I>cccntifyinj* is a brand new word. I
he\e just made it myself in Viuse in the
place where it ow>rht to he in the dic
tionary there is a hole, l o de<entify is
from decent and ly , fy means to make,
and hence to deeentify means to make
decent. Ixjt> id people, for instance, are
decent enough, but are not decentifica
cious; that is. they are not the cause of
decency in others.
Money is -ometimes dirty. It is used
to b; ii>e, tempt and corrupt. Also lo tip.
but in certain conjunctions it is decenti
f> ing.
I’or instance, it is ten to one that if
you pay SIOO a month for your flat it will
be in a cleaner neighborhood, have bett •"
paper and mine bathtubs and a
kitchen with more windows than a flat
you pay s*'»o for. Why, I don’t know.
Soap*, au, water and sun are cheap, but
somehow you don’t get them in an apart
ment unless you pay money,
A hotel, for some reason, is cleaner
and less smelly when it charges a day
than when it charges 10 cents a bed for
the night.
W hen you go to a re taurant and pay
•Sl.d.) for a plate of chicken salad, why
i it that >ou yet cl»u*n napkins and room
to breathe and an attentive waiter, while
if you pay 15 cents the napkins are pa
per or absent, the air i.** close and the
plate is nicked?
Why does a free show fill up with a lot
of rowdies, and a show that costs $2.50
admi >ion have an audience of quiet,
well-behaved j>eople?
Why doe.-* an automobile within the
reach of your j>ocket Uxik rattle and
bump and squeak and fall apart, and why
is it that you get one that will go along
as a good automobile should only when
you mortgage the farm to buy it?
< ou'dn’t they screw the nuts tight on the
cheap one?
Why is a hired girl slovenly at .$5 a
week and neat and efficient at $10? And
why does a stenographer spell correctly
only when she passes the sls a we«*k
level? And why does a suit of clothes
fit at SSO and bag at sls?
What means this? After cursing
money for live thousand year.* steadily,
must we 1>“ compelled, after ail, to ac
knowledge that it represents certain de
sirable things, and somehow implies the
presumably unpurchaseable commodities
of air. space, sunshine, cleanliness and
fsilitene* > ?
Why this docentilicatiousness?
Laugh With Us
\ -**!f riiiui*' miin lw»*l »< * uniqlaf* il ;i ron**id**r
;*hi** mrH'iint of w**a|i|i .* * it *ur« <*N*ful buildinc
ronf i ii 'or
«'hi**ilv it' Mi*' b«Mx «i *>f In** wife, h** had pur
ft;;* *<l ,» \**r* ;*!*! a* tiv *• rural _____
*>itf in 'h** «iihurbft whereon <o f
I,'i h boiii' It* ?l" ng I■ i■ j,
n ' QL A L
■■ \ \
imr '■* *"’i v* iMi ' ly Ji :
I. «*fi» tdi-i >*l*|f |*ri*l»- ; 1
"l -««■ you art* t<|»^n*ll fig a !«»’
,sot on Mia' i." i*" of \ miii - r**niArk#d
n« ichbor
, *ii«* i*• j• 11 'I want 'o make Mi**
phi* .• a thnrniighlv fit liom** fur a g* nil* man '
• oh, ?hrn. \<"l ltt**an lo I*l 0 do you?"
»liotightlf**!*lv blun* and ou' »b»* imjuir* r
"Why. Th«Tn»". whaf «»r* vnti horn** for"'* n«k
|• and Mi* |*»>\ h fath* f "P holiday tim«*. is
j if ?”
•'No/' r**fdi*'d Tbomaa. look
I r —* mg rf»un*l th*- f»lar**
> ' "w* • I "I thought vou »**t*< not rottv
'JI ! 1 bom** until tli** **nd of ili<>
tv*, 1 li. rmr
* T "f'hanir. and ni' mind." was th**
* I r< |*>v of Ih** tonng hf*f***ful
. * “Vtuf Ini not going hark,
j.lth. t"
“Not going back! Whv, how*a
that?"*
"Don't 1 1 c• • ft thrr**." ropUed Thomaa ”
< f *», ngl t it » o a ’l* •• 'l< id " *- <»*! fiia
f.tlor “Win . that *ut*o<<| ft,•** t*jr n• f out worn**
of th** fln**«f *n«l **mart*> » m r *n in thlt* coufifrv "'
"\n** I know thH'.” r*'tiirn*«l Tlionia "If'a
tnrn***l m«* Oil* "
I’i-i* * h< 'ng down so r•* to >t tli irn*r> r *ranra
ro**> •rt ftiHMldiii to *lo o* <ll* IP* got along all
| pghf untd h** r*f*ch***l 'h*
. Word I s ‘ M ,i* a**»o«t I" ■'■!»' I • *“'* •
! f)i»*i Tt **n *o no loot v f'■'! ,‘T
1 *-d bfm. j
"M** v h'—id** tl" bl t ' J < A
■ ho r. P- at** 1 d* ' *»!inr oa <\\
\ 1 . *>vil -o on tl" *' * i* | ;
h**;ich*'i* mm: itit 'd mi* to "W , -\'| t
nnot h**r "
*'|»r s***od h* «•<- t'< b.c«'“ , ' 1
groan***! I-'*• .*" and *’i*‘W i m**l t hand a* - !'*hfa
dripping for**h' :*d
*'f}n on’" yallad a von* from the rear "It'll
gat flat ahila youTr uniting vou had' ”