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Sometimrs, think, the things we sec Arc hh-.iclows ot the things to be That what we plan, we build: That evei hope that hath boen crossed, And e\ery dream we thought was lost, Iu lleaveu shall be fultllUnJ That even the children o! or.dn Have not been burn and died in vain, Though here um-lothed and dumb ihit on some brighter, better shoro 'lhey h\e, embodied evermore, And wait for us to ome. A SLIGHT JJHSTAKE. "1 declare," said Lvdia Collins, who had tftkt up the morning paper, "Sidney West has come home." She seemed to be deeply moved, and various wore- the shades that chased each other over her tac 0 ui 1 "Ami ha* Frank come with hunt ask ed Nellie, with au eager look and tone. "I dim Know anything about Frank," reuwued Lydia, with a toos of the lead that had some contempt in it. "Only the names of those who have brought home money with them are printed "You can look for yourself." Neluo twok the piper, and saw that Sidney T. West had brought home eighty thousand dollars. Below she saw a list of passengers, and in it she found the name of Frank Wet but tiere was no mention made ot his having brought home any money. "Frank has come," she cried, in glad tone "Well, suppose he has? Of cmirte you do not mean to renew the old intimacy.' I should UKC to seehim,atalle\ents," Kplied Nellie, and then she went on reading the paper. Lydia and Nellie Collins were sisters the termor being twenty-eight years ot age, and the latter six years younger Their father, who had been at one time quite a flourishing merchant, had been dead a number of years, and the sisters hved with their rnothei in a fine house and in a fashionable part of the city. Mrs. Collins was naturally good wo man but fashion had turned her head somewhat, and she thought more of hav ing her daughters move in select circles than 5he ditl of surrounding them with healthful influences. But there was a vast difference between the dispositions ot these two daughters. Nellie had been her father's pet, and had drawn from him a fund of sound sense and reason -which her sister had failed to obtain, and which did not leave he* when her father was taken away. There was a deep cur tent of humanityof natural, grateful loveunderlying her whole nature, and even her scheming, fashionaole sister respected her for it, thougn she probably had no real conception of why this re spect was called torth. It was generally supposed that Mrs. Collins was wealthy. She owned the house in which she lived, and it was known that her husband had left her con siderable money. Sidney and Frank West were cousins, and had ones been clerks in the employ of Mr. Collins. Throe years previous to the opening of our story they went to California to "seek their fortunes,' and had no A returned, as we have seen. One evening as Mrs. Collins and her two daughteis were alone, Sidney and Frank were announced. They were cheerfully admitted, and warmly wel comed. Sidney was a tall, dashing-fel low, five and thirty years of age, dressed in the height of tashion, and flashing with costly jewelry. His cousin was some years younger, and dressed very plainly. Frank was by tar the most intelligent, though he lacked "style." In tact, he was lather common-place in his manners and conversation, depending more upon the substance ot what he did and said than upon the show he could make. But Sidney blazed and flashed a*ay like a pyrotechnic oattery, and he was not long in enrapturing Lydia and her mo ther. Frank and Nellie finally drew to gether upon one of the tete-n tetes, and -there enjoyed a conversation by them selves. "I must sccuie that man," said Lydia, after the visitors had gone. "What,' returned her sister with some surprise, "do vou mean Sidney "West?" "Indeed I do." "You cannot do such a thing, Lydia. Arc you not engaged to Charles Adams?" "Noindeed I am not." "But you have given him every en couragement." "I may have done so while he was the best n-atch that ottered," returned Lydia, with a toss of her head. "But I have been very guarded in my conversation with him. I have made him no promises." "But,"pursued Nellie with a troubled look, "you have given him every encour agement, and I know that he loves you and think you mean to be his wife.' "And do you think I would give my band to a poor clerk, when such a prize as this is within my grasp?" said Lydia, with much warmth. "You should not call Charles Adams a poor clerk," said Nellie, reproachfully, "lie has a salary of two thousand dollars a year and will soon go into business on his own account. You know he has con fided to you a statement of all hispecuni- I ary plans and prospects." "Yesso he has," retorted the elder sister and it he ever succeeds in business, it must 1)8 some years first, during which time his wife must be helping him save No, nnone ot that for me, while a hus band is within my grasp who is already rich." "[think." spoke Mre. Collins, at this point "that Sidney West offers a very de sirable match. I think he loves Lydia, nnd would make her a very cood bus band." "I know he used to lovo me," said ydia. "But you returned his love by treating him very coldly," suggested Nellie. "That was when he was only a poor tlcrk," returned the proud beauty, "but now that he has returned with the gold en fleece ot Phryxus, he is quite a differ ent person "He will make a very eligible match,' pronounced the mother, with much de cision. She spoke as though she ha made up her mind, and wished to hear no more argument on the point. "And now iet me ask you a question," said Lydia. turning to her sister. "You probably remember that Mr. Frank West used to have a particular regard for you, aud I should )udg from, the clunky man ner in winch lie deported himself this ev ening, that he not ouly had the same vo ard now, but that he had some hopes ot succeeding in his suit.' "Well," returned Nollie, very quietly. "Would you give htm your hand?" "Perhaps soif ho should ask mo for it." "You would, my child?' interposed Mrs. Collins. "I should," was Nellie'saiiHWor. "That is,' she added, "if I found him to bo what I think ho is." "But, my daughter," resumed (ho mother, with some show of concern, "you should reflect upon this. I had hoped that vou would give jour hand to Kd win Lofton. You know ho is wealthy and is very anxious to gain you for a wife while'this Fiank West is prooubly pooi, and not calculated to rise in the woild." "How do you know hois poor, moth r?" "1 learned to-day that only one of the cousins brought home money. Sidney has been shrewdly speculating, and com ing old, while the other was diud^ing, 1 as he will probably continue to do." "Well, mother," replied Nellie, after thinking for a moment, "I shall be gov erned 111 this by my own souse of what ib right and proper. I know that my lather always loved Frank, and had much confidence in him, and I will not deny that I lovo him, even now. With I regard to Mr. Lofton, 1 should never have a husband if he were my ouly choice, lie may be wealthy, but his character is not HKI. It Frank is poor, I know he industrious and persevering, and the few thousand dollars which my father lett for me will enable him to start well in some moderate business." Mrs. Collins changed color, and seemed to be startled by what hei daughter had said out she soon managed to compose hoi self, though she did not resume tae conversation. "Egad, Frank, I come on gloriously with my charmer!" cried bidney West, as the two sat in their room a: the hotel. "She has promised to be mine. Only thinkshe wouldn't even look at me when I went away." "What could have produced the chan~e, think you?" asked Frank. My manners, sir," retorted Sydney, spreading himself with a mock show. "I have captivated her. She is willing to bestow her fortune upon me in consider ation of the tine, fashionable husband It shall give her. But I mean to do the handsome thing, Frank I mean to be steady, and go into business as soon as I am married.'' "I hope you will Sid.," returned the younger cousin. "You have talent and ability, and there is no reason why you should not prosper." "Thank you. But sayhow do you come on with Nellie? "I have not spoken with her yetthat is, not directly," returned Frank, with some hesitation. "Pooh! You're safe enough. She loves youshe loved you for years. You'll get a heart, Frank.'* "If I get Nellie Collins. I shall get a true and loving wite, I am sure." "Of course you will." As Sidney thus spoke he looked at his watch, and then arose and went out. In a little while Frank followed his ex ample, and wended his way toward Mrs. Collins s. He found Nellie at home and wentin to spend the evening. They con versed upon various matters until quite late, and then FranK approached sub ject that lay nearest his heart. He told Nellie that he could not bear the suspense longer. He said tie loved her as he had never loved anotherhe had loved her a long timeand if she would be his wife he would love her always. Neilie trembled, and it was some mo ments ere she answered. But finally she looked up and said, with a warm, gener ous frankness: "1 must answer you plainly, for my own happiness is as much at stake as yours. Had you as^ed me this question a week ago, I should have had no hesita tion in giving my answer. But I am not situated now as I then supposed I was."* "Nellie," cried the lover, as his com panion hesitated, "what do you mean? You surely love me. Ohyou cannot have given to an "Stop, Frank," interposed the maiden with a sudden start, "you misunderstand me. I must tell you the tiuth1 must confidj to you a secret which I at first re solved never to divulge. I only knew it three days ago. You knew that my father left some property?" "I did." "And that some few thousand dollars were left for each of his children?" "I had supposed so." "Wellin an unlor unate moment my mother, who had the use of it all, was led into a speculation by which everything was lost. It all appeared fair and sure to her, and she ran the risk with the firm belief that she should almost double the property. She lost it all but she was not to blame. I am sorry, for her sake, for she suffer much." "And what of this?" asked Frank, after waiting awhile to seo if she would say any more." "Why, it leaves me penniless," return ed Nellie. "3o much the better," cried the youth, seizing the fair girl by the hand, "for now I can claim you on the ground ot love alone. I have already made arrange ments for going into business, and I am sure of income enough to support us com fortably. Now will you be my wife?" vVhen Frank West went home that night he was as happy as mortal can be. His plans for life were all laid, and he had placed all the scenes of his future in a warm sunlight. "Then you have really consented to become his wite?" said Lydia, after Nellie had told her the result of the in terview of the preceding evening. "Yes, sister, I have." "And I think you have done a very foolish thing, Nellie. Since you have discovered that your money was all lost we had hoped you would look out foi a inore becoming match." "Since I have discovered it," returned Nellie, with marked emphasis. "What do you mean? Did you know it before?' "Yes, I knew it two years ago." "And never told me?" "Of course not." "But, Lydia, why should you have kept such an important matter from me?" "Because,'' answered the eldoi sister, "wo feared you would be too honest to keep it to youvso'f. It might have made a vast difference in our prospects, wheth er wo had $10,000 each, or had nothing. Wo hoped to see you marry with a wealthy husband, and you wouldn't have missed'the money you had lost. "And do you think this was right?" asked Noll 10 with a look of concern. "It i deception, and can only lead to evil." "There you go," exclaimed Lydia. "Just as i BtippoHod. You will never succeed in playing the game of life. You will show your hand at every start." "I have no wish to ma*e-agamu of my life," sail Nellie, with deep feeliug "and those who do so are full as apt to lose as they are to win I had much rather take life", with all its duties and responsibili ties as a solemn fact, and try to live it justly and honorably." "That's poetical, I must confess though rather of the psalm-tuno order," loplied Lydia. "But givo me the game, especially when I hold the chances my own hand. I have played and won. "But you told Sidney that you had no money "Indeed, I did not do any such thing. He has money enough of his own. Did you toll Frank?' "Of course I did." "Mercy on mewhat a paragon you have become!" Nollie turned a* ay, sad and sorrowful, for she feared that evil would comeoi all this. Sidney West and Lydia Collins were married, and for a while the husbund re sided at the bouse ot his mother in-law. One afternoon, about a month after the fiist marriage, Nellie gave her hand to Frank The ceremony had been perfotm ed, and the guests had departed, when the happy bridgroom asked his bride to accompany him to his home. "But," said Nellie in surprise, "I did not know that you had taken a house "Certainly I have, my sweet wife, I would not have a bird iike this without a cage to keep her in. Yescome and see it.' After the newly married pair had gone, Mrs. Collins drew Lydia aside and whis pered to her: "My dear, I think you had better speak to Sidney about his business, and also I hint to him that we must soon find a new home, or else have the mortgage paid off on this house. You can do it now as well as at any time." "Won't yon do it, mother?" "Noit is your place to do that." "But vou will be present?" "Yes I will do that." The mother and daughter returned to the parlor, and sat down. "Sidney, dear,' commenced Lydia. "My lovemy lifewhat?"' cried the husband, raising himself to an upright position. "I want to ask you a question.'* "Ask me a hundred." "It is a very important one, Sidney." "Ask it lovelifemy charmer." "It is about your business, my dear husband." "Ah. the very thing I have long been anxious to speak to you about, my angel. I think I ought to go into business soon. I have an excellent opportunityone ot the most liberal offers. For $12,000 I can buy a quarter of a flourishing con cert and for $34,000 I can have half ot it. It is a splendid offer, I can assure you." "And do you mean to boy it," asked Mrs. Collins. "I wish to do so." "Then of course you will," suggested Lydia. "Ahthat depends upon circum stances," replied Sidney. "I am willing to put all my energies and business tact against capital, and go it." "I do not understand you. love." "Then I must speak plainly," resumed Sidney. you will furnish the money, I will do the rest." "Me furnish the money!'* uttered Lydia. "Yes angel." "Butyouhavemoney?' "Not enough to pay a month's board, sweet charmer. But 1 Have tact, and bless me! What's the matter? Have you got a fit?' "No money!" Groaned Lydia, sink ing back upon the sofa, and covering her face with her hands. "Do not trifle with her feelings, Sid- ney," interposed the mother. "You are cruel." "But I have only spoken the truth." "Did you not bring eighty thousand dollars from Cal:fornia?"jj "No." "Then you have deceived us most cruelly, sir." "But mv wife has money." "Not a dollar." "Are you in earnest?" "I am what little money we had has been swept away by an unfortunate spec ulation." "Then, by heavens!" cried Sidney, "I should say that I had been slightly de ceived. You know that the impression prevailed that you had money, and you ktew that I was aware of the fact tha Mr. Collins left over ten thousand dollars to each of his daughters. Why didn't you tell me of tMs before?" "Why didn't you tell us that you had no money?" returned Mrs. Collins. "Simply because I never professed to have any.' "Then what was meant by that accoun*. in the paper?*' "Oho 1" exclaimed the husband. "You got hold of that, did you? And that ac counts for the peculiar warmth of my re ception! That, it seems, worked the change that gave me the love I sought. I understand it now. But, upon my word, there was no deception on my part there. When I got ready to start for home, my cousin received a summons to attend to some business which he feared would detain him till the sailing of the next steamer, and as his gold was already on board, and he did not wish to remove it, lie placed it under my care, and it was so consigned to the list. But, at the last moment, he tinisled his business, and was enabled to come with me." "And Frank is the wealthy one!" gasped Lydia. "Yes. He delved and dug, while I speculated and he made a fortune, while Ididn't." "Oh I how I have been deceived cried the disappointed wife. "Grossly deceived," added the mother. Sidney started from his seat, and hav ing walked up and down the floor a few times, he "stopped and faced the two wo men. He was very calm, and the bitter expression which dwelt upon his lace gave place to a mocking smile. "I guess we had better not deal too much in accusations," he said, "lor I don't think cither of us can chum much charity on that scoic. We have both ot usperhaps all three of usplayed a pretty kind of a game, but it seems we all held losing hands. You were not averse to a little bit of deception for the sal of seeming a rich husband and perhaps I am not free from the same weak ness. However, we've made a slight mis take, but the thing's done, and it can't be hciped, so we must make the best of it. she said: "Now" don't forget We had better keep it to ourselves than see jou this afternoon. have it get out. Folks would enjoy it hugely if they knew what a mistake you had made at your game at foitune hunt ing. All there is about it, we must turn too, now, and work. I am caught, and I will make the best of it but just let me assure you that I will not submit to any further fault finding or recrimina tion. When Nellie found herself within a comfortable, well-furnished house, and knew that it was her own, and that her husband was wealthy, she sank upon his bosom and wept in her joyful gratitude. She tried to chide him for having de ceived her, but very soon he convinced her that he had not deceived hei at all. "This blissful hour," he cried, "has been my goal for yeais. Through all the weary seasons of toil I have been sus tained by the hope that in the end this fair hand should be mine and not a joy has my wealth promised me that did not look to you as a sharer in it.' Nellie believed him, and she was hap pyhappy as she deserved to behappy as ouly such pure hearts can be. Frank went into business, and he hired his cousin Sidney for a bookkeeper, and paid him a good salary. Lydia had*come to her senses, and when her mother went to live with Nellie she resolved that she would make the best of the estate which had fallen to her lot, though she will never cease to regret, during the moments when the old thoughts of fashionaole life come over her, the slight mistake she made in playing her Game of Life. In Love with a Car Driver. Journeys end in lovers meeting Every wise man's son doth know. At least so says the wisest of all wise men's sons, anil who can dispute his word in a question ot love? Certainly it is not for the modest reporter describing the courtship and marriage of a New York 1 belle and a Sixth avenue horse-driver to deny the ex-cathedra utterances of Avon's bard. Nor is there anything in the circum stances of the followiug story to warrant an appeal from his decision. It begins with a journey in a Sixth avenue horse car, which led to M'IBS Clarence Treadwell meeting her fate in the glances ot Der.is McQuinn. It continues with his journey to his inamorata's house, her journey to the dwelling of a rival, and the post-martial journey of Clarence and her husband to Philadelphia. The last journey was the re turn of the newly-wedded couple from Philadelphia to a Seventh avenue tene ment-house, there they are likely to re main for some time to come unless a rail road ticket for the west changes the plans. It was in the early fall of last year, while yet the weather was so balmy and pleasant, and the doors of the street-car were kept continually open, that Miss Tieadwell, who only the previous sum mer had graduated from one of the most fashionable ladies' seminaries, aud a few weeks thereafter made quite a furore as the bridesmade of a lady friend, was be witched by the brilliant eyes of Denis McQuinn. Seated in the centre of the car she first felt their influence, and mov ing toward the front door she sat down by"the open window, where she could command a better view of her charmer. But no good driver turns around at hap hazard. Attention must be paid to his horses, and Denis was a model driver. So for blocks and blocks his victim rode on, remaining quietly seated until at last a mere incident, the calling ot the conduc tor, caused him to turn. Then his eyes again met those of the passenger, whose first impression was confirmed. Her sec ond vie* of the fellows lustrious orbs only increased her secret longing to know more of their possessor. Anv one who saw the young lady at the moment McQuinn, unawares that^ he had become an object of close scrutiny once moie fixed his glance immovably on his horses, might have seen her pull out ot her pocket-book a tiny silver-headed pen cil, and, glancing furtively aiound, as if afraid tnat some one was watching her, put down the number of the car in a small memorandum book. Then, satisfied that all was right, and the front door being happily open, she lightly tapped the dn vci on the shoulder and asked him to slop at the next corner. Once more she had a chance to look into those eyes that hao cuthralled her heart. And leaving the car by the front platform, she did not tail to scan them for the last time as Denis started the horses on again. The conflicting emotions that racked that bright young sonl the night follow ing this eventful meeting may not be de scribed by reportorial pen. Miss Tread well, be it remembered, was not of the giddy class ot young women who love to flirt for flirtation's sake Neither was she an ignorant, untutored maiden, in capable of measuring the consequences that might follow her infatuation. She knew full well that her sisters and her cousin8 and her aunts, to say nothing of her uncles and other relatives and friends would discard her at tho first intimation that she meditated a union that would wcr her social standing. But still those fatal eye haunted her before and during the hours of sleep, and reappeared with all their original power even wheu the bright sunlight of the morning streamed into her handsomely furnished room. There was no happiness for her without the actual presence of those bewitching eyes. Her resolve was soon taken. She would take daily rides on that identical car. Indeed had she not taken the num ber for that purpose on the previous day? And so sho liurried forth, walkiug for a long time up and down Sixth avenue, waiting the arrival of the car. But Denis was discovered before the number could be seen. He stopped and she entered, accidentally of course, by the front plat form. Tho driver seemed to recognize her, but maintained his stolid indiffer ence. On she rode, way down to Vcsey street terminus, and then, paying the con ductor a second fare, she said she had made a mistake and intended to stop somewhere along the avenue. Watching her opportunity, the front do being still open, and while the con ductor was talkim to some one on the rear piattorm, le approached the driver, nnd, to the hitter's astonishment, told linn that she wanted to see him at her home. The pooi fellow, utterly nonplussed at be ihg addressed by a handsome lady and requested to call upon her at her house, did not know what to think. But hand ing him a slip of paper on which her name and address, were written in lull, 1 must Arriving at the depot, Denis pleaded il'-health and asked to be rcpluced till morning by another driver--a request readilv granted by the starter. Wonder ing what a hu'y residing with her pa rents in a prominent up-town lurcl could want of him, McQuinn put on his best suit and soon reached the proper address. The young ludy was waiting for him Indeed, time was precious, as the hour tor papa's returning from business was rapidly approaching. Her story was soon told to the bewildered driver. She wanted to marry him and bask in the sunshine of his eyes, which were almost divine to hei. His objection, however, was not so easily disposed of. "I am already engaged to a young wo man employed in a west side hotel," he said. "Do you love her?" was the rejoinder and the hesitating driver was captured before he could say another word. "I'll see her and make her inve up the engage ment,"' was Miss Treadwell's ready solu tion of this difficulty. 11 was not so easy accomptisement as Miss Treadwell imagined, and as the se quel will show. Obtaining the young woman's address she dismissed the ob ject of her love, first, as a matter of course, arranging to meet him again. A note as quickly dispatched to the hotel where the financee was employed, and the latter not knowing what the nature of the busi ness could bo, presented herself at Miss Treadwell's domicile the next morning. Without further ado the latter unfolded her plans, saying that she was determin ed to marry the Sixth avenue horse-car driver. But you never shall." exclaimed Mar garet, in a rage "you oughtt to be ashamed of yourself to tiy to take him ii-om me." Words can hardly describe the scene of passion and pleading that followed, and the first interview ended any way but satisfactorily to Miss Treadwell. Days and weeks elapsed when, at last, with the aid of Denis McQuinn himself, she en deavored to pacify the enraged Margaret. But all to no purpose, until at last he himself settled the question by renounc ing her and giving his hand and heart to the new love. All this, to Margaret's credit be it said, was kept a secret Irom the Treadwell family, and it was nly after the driver and his young bride had reached Phila delphia that the word was sent'to the distressed parents. A cs:r driver's funds are never very large, and the honeymoon *was not very protracted. The young man's presence among the young lady's acquaintances shortly after, was for the purpose of rec onciling the old folks to their daughter match, and his good looks, it is said, have done much toward accomplishing that end. Still peace has not been fully re established in the Tread*ell family circle, :ind, while ctlbrts are progressing toward reaching this result,, the driver's bride occupies the second floor of a Seventh avenue tenement house, and there daily waits for those small hours when the driver's attention may be diverted from his business to his wife Under The Crust. The reporter was passing down North Commercial street, last evening, looking out, as usual, for bits of news. Across the street, sitting on the edge ot the side walk, with tattered dress, bare head and shoeless feet, was a little girl about nine years old, crying as chongh her heart would break if the bitter tears did not o'erflow. Attracted by anything unusual, the reporter paused a moment, in doubt whether to go to her or not. But in that brief lapse of time entered another man upou the stage, and his coming, as it proved, rendered the scene all the more complete. His face, eyes, garment*, be tokened the drunkardone who thirsted after drink, and whose lips were always parched. Rough loooking t. ough he was, a close observer might detect a some thing that bore a faint resemblance to the man he used to be. Staggering along, scarcely able to keep on the walK, he approached the spot where sat the child. His dull cars caught the sound ot sobs, his footsteps were arrested, and fix ing his eyes on the still weeping girl, he reeled toward her side, bent over her. and with thick tongue asked why she ept. The reporter stood near, and watched the contact of these two wretched beings with no little interest. In answer to that rough man's inquiry the child replied that her mother had driven her out of homehad followed her with curses and blows out of the only door that had ever opened to her, and that she was afraid to go back. "Havi you a fathei?" he asked. "No, sir but, oh 1 I wished papa was here he was so good and kind!" "When did he die?'* "A good while ago, sir and mother says he died a drunkard but he was al ways kind to me, and I loved him." What was there in that child's voice that moved this man. to soberness? He sat down at her side, put around her his great strong arm, pressed her pinched face to his breast, aud who can tell what he thought or what he suf fered as the scalding tears burst from his eyes and rolled down his bloated cheeks? He treated that feeble girl with all tenderness, he reeled no more her story had restored the man within him His home was on the Burlington, Cedar Rapids and Northern railway. He was a farmer, but his lovo for liquor had ruined his body, absorbed his prop erty, and his own 'wife and little ones were to-day in as destitute circumstances as the child he sat beside. "Died a Drunkard!" Who can tell with what a saving weight those fell up on his ears, or how far that poor waif's influence is gone toward hie redemption! He took the child acrss the sliect to a bakery, and saw that she was fed Tin gave her some pieces of silver for fu u:e use and then was seen torecro^s thest.eot and go with the girl toward her Lome. The reporter was willing to grant that with buch a mediator, reconciliation would surely follow, and, more than this, he fait sure that that the angel in that man was so much larger and naturally stronger than the evii one, that some ho ly influences would yet combine to savo him. Nobility ol heart and soul belongs to God, wherever it may be found and it is frequently discovered just under tho crust. CONNUBIALIT1ES. Woman's inhumanity to man is what keeps the broom market steady. Before marriage, affection and perfec tion after, reflection and defection. Theodore Tilton is again at home. Ho sends his wife $1,000 every six months, when he has it. A Cleveland man who has had several wives says a bald headed eagle is one that has been married. Notwithstanding her marriage Fanny Davenport will still be Fanny Davenport on the bill boards, but not on the board bills. "I called twice and found you out," said Mrs. Jones. "Very good,"6aid Mrs. Smith "I had to call but once to find jou out." Sometimes, after reading column after column 01 sorrows, sufferings, devastation and death, we almost wish that Adam and Eve had never married. Bulkins, i:t relerr.ng to the time his wife complimented him, says the coal nre needed replenishing and she pointed toward the fire place with a commanding air and said "Peter, the grate." A woman who was not a physiologist, whose husband had some internal malady said to a friend: "You see I give him a deal ot bread and milk. It flies to the part, you know, and acts as a poultice. 1 Three proudest moments of of a man's life between the cradle and the grave aie, when he gets his first pair of red-top loots when the girls first call him "Mis- ter," and when the doctor tells him it's a boy. A gentleman learned in the origin of social customs was asked the meaning of casting an old shoe after the newly mar ried couple as they start on their trip. He said: "To indicate thst the chances ot matrimony are very slipper-y." Fat cook (with unconscious blushes to the lady who wants to engage her): "As to there bein' no followers allowed, mum, you might recollect that you've been single yourself and a girl as is rayther showy in figure can't well help 'em comin' about." A domestic little drama. "Edwin, dearest," said Angelina, "why do they always call a ship 'she?'" "Why, my ownest," replied Edwin, "can't you guess1 Why, because, you see, the rigging costs more than the hull." Angelina's little pout was delicious. What! You are aware that this poor fellow had just lost his wife and instead of sending him the smallest word of con dolence, you dun him for the 200 francs that he o*es you?" "Hem? I know that there are griefs which no words can eon sole, and I thought I was doing him a service in giving another course to his sad thoughts 1' Dean Stanley was not equal to his op portunities when he performed the mar riage ceremony of Prof. Tyndall. The dean should have asked the groom "Do you take this anthropoid to be your co ordinate, to love with your nerve centres, to cherish with your whole cellular tissue, until a final molecular disturbance shall resolve its organism into its primitive at- oms?" 'I Can Swim, Sir." During a terrible navnl battle between the English and the Dutch, the English flag-ship, commanded by Admiral Nar borough. was drawn into the thickest of the tight. Two masts were soon shot away, and the mainmast fell with a fear ful crash upon the deck. Admiral Nar borough sawr that all was lost unless he could bring up his ships from the right. Hastily scrawling an order, he called for volunteers to swim across the boiling wa ter, under the hail ot shot and shell A dozen sailors at once ofl'ered their services, and among them a cabin-boy. "Why," said t'ie Admiral, "what can you do, my fearless lad f' "I can swim, sir," the boy replied "if I lie shot, I can be easier spared than any one else." Narborough hesitated: his men were few, and his position was desperate. The boy plunged into the sea, amid the cheers of the sailors, and was soon lost to sight. The battle raged fiercer, and as t^e time went on, defeat ssemed inevitable. But just as hope was fading, a thundering cannonade was heard from the right, atd the reverses were seen bearing down upon the enemy. By sunset the Dutch fleet was scattered far and wide, and the cabin-boy, the hero of the hour, was call ed to receive the honor due him. His modesty and tearing so won the heart oi the old Admiral that he exclaimed: "I shall live to see you have a flag-ship of your own." The prediction was fulfilled when tho cabin-lniy, having become Admiral Cloudsley Shovel, was knighted by the king. A nut once saved the lite ot a German count. A plot had been laid to murder him, and the murderer lay hid in hiscas tie through the day. Before going to bed he drew some things from his pock et, and a nut fell on the floor, which he did not notice. That night the murder er entered the bed-room, but stepped on the nut, whii in breaking cracked loud enough to wake the count, and the mur derer fled. Who would say that all this was mere accident? In God providence the man might have stepped just beside the nut or the count might have picked it up, or he might not have let it tall, or one of the dozen things might have been but wre know what was, and this was not by chance. All things are in God's hands. Eve always enlista the sympathy ot the gentler sex, when they reflect that before marriage s^e never had a chance to piay off another fellow against Adam.