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i !WL 1 $r t. i OV I have a piece of news that I guess will make that Miss Ever dale wince when she hearsof iU"ex- claimed a young' lady, coming" up to a group of men and women seated on the ver anda of a hotel at one of the fash ionable watering places. Well, if there is anything1 that will make Miss Everdale wince I leclare I do hope she will hear of it." replied a voung woman with a fair round face, but whose black eyes flashed unpleasantly as she spoke "Sh!" said her husband, "I don't tike to hear you speak that way, Elsie. I don't see why you all have taken such a dislike to Miss Everdale She Is as fine a woman as I have met this Season, and if she has the {rood luck S to claim all of Roy Gilbert's atten tion that is no reason why you all should hate her." "Oh, yes answered his wife, "we ll know that yon men, married and ,''single, have adored the ground she walks on, and the rest of us have if been nowhere ever since she came. I Not that I care, but I do hate to see I woman so forward and bold." '"Well, now, you just wait and hear what I have to tell," said Miss Wes ton, the first speaker, and the croup turned attentive faces to her. "I have this straight from Will," he began. "You see Will was down hi the office quite late last night with I & few of the other men, and among them was Roy Gilbert. He became very much interested in relating some I f his advv ntures, and before he I thoughtas his manner showed after wardhe mentioned his wife "His wife!" they all exclaimed in *ue breath, and horror was visible on K, some countenances, while others wore ft malicious tr umphant expression. I "Yes, his wife," went on Miss Wes ton, evidently delighted that she had awakened so much interest. "And Will said some of the men looked kind f queer, and as though they pitied i him, for he flushed as red as a school boy, and then Will said to him- 'Why iGilbert, old boy, we didn't know you I had a wife. Will she be with you fthis season?' II "You know Will was awfully in I love with Miss Everdale before Gil bert came, and I suppose he felt as Ti though he could forgive him anything 'after he learned that there was no chance of Gilbert's having her." "Well, what did Roy say?" asked tthe black-eyed Elsie. "Sav, why he was as cool as you \Vlease after the first second and said: \Vf' *Ab, yes I have a wife. She is "^*$Viting her old home this summer. She may get around here before the season is over,' and went on as un concerned as could be with what he was telling. "Now, what do you think of that?" The men looked at each other and winked and one sour-visaged chap re marked: "There always was something queer about Gilbertseemed as though he ?as trying to hide something!" "'Oh, come, now, Carter, that's too ever there honest, & LET MS ENTRODUOK MY WIFE. -free-hearted, open-faced fellow, that ^one is Roy Gilbert Me^s only having & little fun, that's all, but it's mighty ^jroagh on Miss Everdale." "Well, Miss Everdale shall know it Wfore she goes to bed to-night, if I 'have to tell her myself," and the look ijn the eyes of the speaker told what {pleasure it would afford her to be the [Informant. fc*"Now. Ill tell you what let's do, ,/Je continue d. "After supp er """?Jill all be out here on the veranda, *nd Miss Everdale will be sure to rome out we wi ll call her to us, and ^ell her here before us all! W all fvant to see what she wi ll do and say." 'I gness it wirl take her down |ome," remarked a rather old-young lad y, "and it will be good enough for er." And what of Miss Everdale, upon jvhose head was to descend such a How. A beautif ul woman of 30, beautiful Ito manner and winning* ways rather jjnan in features, although the soft ark eyes called attention away from Ae rather too large mouth wavy lark hair floated about a full white |pw. Her figure was pleasin? to the Ife, although not perfect, i This was the first season she had .pent at and little was known 'bout her, except what they had ob rred. They had observed that although liss Everdale was very pleasant to 111 ^the young men who thronged ^bout her, she eoemed to care for $o until the day Roy Gilbert came, and since that time a fie rare flirtation had been going on between them, Roy Gilbert was a handsome man of thirty-five, had money, no one knew how much, but was considered by the men to be a fine all-around fellow. The womenwell the women thought he was just a darling until he was so taken up with Miss Everdale that aU tho others could get from him was an occasion ll chat, or a smiling good night or good morning. And now something had happened more thau they had ever dreamed, and although they knew that none of them could over have Gilbert, they were glad to know it was equally im possible for Miss Everdale to do so. So thev anxiously waited to see how she would bear up under the informa tion, nor had they any desire to break it to her gently Their time ha I come for everyone was now returning from the supper room, and, with the others, came the pair they were waiting for. Roy Gilbert's haudsome head was bending low over Miss Everdale's, and the earnestness of his manner, and the lovelight in his eyes spoke plainer to the waiting group than any words could have done. As he turned to leave her to go into the smoking room he passed his arm around her waist and drew her close to him for an instant. The indignation of the waiting, watching group could hardly be sup pressed. Miss Everdale came slowly up the veranda alone and as she drew near the group of women turned to them with a smile on her happy face. "Isn't this a fine evening?" she said, addressing them all, but they simply drew themselves up and looked at her with haughty frowns. "Miss Everdale," said the volunteer informer, "we wish to speak with you a moment," and, without waiting for any reply went on: "What we are about to communi cate to you we know to be the truth, and can prove it to be such. Your friend, Mr. Gilbert, has a wife!" They all stood breathless, looking at her, expecting to see her either grow angry and deny it or to flush with confusion and shame, but she did neither. She did not even change color, but the smile deepened in the dark eyes as she said quietly: Oh, yes, indeed, I know he has he has been speaking to me of her. He expects her here before the season is out I hope we shall all like her! She was a fortunate woman to be come the wife of such a man as Mr. Gilbert." The smile faded from her face and she gazed out to sea. She either did not or pretended not, to see the varied expressions on the faces before her, and, after a few commonplace re marks, turned away. After she was out of hearing Miss Weston exclaimed: "Did you ever see such a bold, brazen-faced thing in all your life?" The next day the couple were the talk of the whole place, but it did not seem to disturb them any. The flir tation still went on, and the real love making was more open and apparent. Now and again the men would joke Gilbert about his wife's coming and finding him out, but he always an swered them good naturedly. They all liked Gilbert, and the wo men, although they called him a mon ster behind his back, were always ready to chat with him. To Miss Everdale they were more than cold, and always looked upon her as some thing to be shunned. Such was the state of affairs, when one morning the hotel carriage came to the door and took away Miss Ever dale, bag and baggaga. What could it mean? All day long was her de parture the subject of speculation, but in the evening the mystery was solved. Mr. Gilbert came into the parlor with an open letter in his hand, and said: "I have just received a letter from my wife. She says she will be with me to-morrow evening, as it is the tenth anniversary of our marriage, and wherever we are we always plan to spend that day together. I shall be pleased to have her meet my friends and will bring her down here to meet you to-morrow evening." Good nature was at once restored, and all Mr. Gilbert's former sins were at once forgiven. The next evening the whole party dressed for the oc casion, assembled in the drawing room. They were chatting, moving about, wondering what the new comer would be like, sounding Mr. Gilberts praises and kindness, when the door opened and a servant an nounced Mr. and Mrs. Roy Gilbert The servant moved aside, and Mr. Gilbert entered the room, and on his arm wasMiss Everdale. He bowed to them and said: "Let me introduce you to my wife, this is the tenth anniversary of our marriage. You should remember mj friends that appearances are oftes deceitful." Market Day for Hungarian Kisses. Kisses have a market day at Nag yalmary in the Hungarian Komitta ol Arad. A strange old custom is in VIM there on St. Joseph's day and a fen days following. The young women who have been married within th last twelve months assemble in the market plaee and offer themselves tc be kissed by the gentle and simple, "Herren and Bauern" indifferently, at so much money per kiss. The prices are exceedingly modest, the lowest be ing 4 hellers and the highest 20 hellers. These, at least, were the prices, ac cording to the Hungarian reporter, an St. Joseph's day last There is possi bly some feudal interpretation of the eecentrio custom, but the reportei does not supply it.Wostminstei Gazette. IT PIERCED HIS HAT. AN OLD SOLDIER'S NARROW US CAPE PROM DEATH. Dr. Jokn Gray's Remarkable Wa ExperienceBullet Went Through. Ills Hat and His Hotly Rammed by a Bayonet Thirty Years AffO. "That was the bullet I didn't hear," said Dr. John Gray, whose office Is over a clothing store on West Madison street, says the Chicago Herald. His visitor was looking at a queer old cap, such as enlisted men used to wear at the beginning of the war. It had an "F" and a "13" in tarnished brassthe company and regiment to which the doctorthen a mere bey, be longed. At the upper edgje of the crown of the cap, right in the side of the tilted top piece, there was a great hole blackened at the edges, ana In volving Bomething like an inch of blue artiele of dress. The doctor had a quiet day, and had The Old Doctor. fallen into a reminiscent mood between partients. "1 got that in thespring of '62," said the doctor, as he looked at the cap and blew the dust from the visordust of West Madison street, which lay where the red dust of the peninsula had laid more than thirty years ago. "It was near Warwick Court House, W. Va., and we had just broken camp, and were on the way up the peninsula on the general movement toward Rich- mond." "What batitle?" "Oh, it wasn't any battle at all. It was just a little picket fight. That was going on all the time. The woods were full of rebel sharpshooters, and we didn't dare venture out of camp or they would pick us off. They had a strong picket line ahead of us all the time, and there was a good deal of firing. Here is a note in the diary 1 kept at the time." And he pointed to the lines in faded pencil: Rebels about eighty or a hundred yards kept up a constant firing. Bul let went thi'ough my cap. "Did you hear it?" "Well, there were so many I couldn't pick out any one but this was the bullet I did not hear. You may be cer tain of that. When you can hear a bullet, of course it has passed you, and it is harmless as fur as you are con cerned. You won't hear the bullet that hits you." "But this didn't hit you." Knocked Him Senseless. "No, it only went through my cap. But it knocked me senseless--the con cussion, I suppose. It left a queer feel ing all day: I made a note of it here in the diary, because it seemed to me at the time quite an important thing. But I came to look at it differently at the end." "Were you ever really wounded V" "Once or twice." "How was it, doctor? How did it feel?" "Oh, it hurt a little. It hit me here, just above the right hip, and traveled clear across my back lodging in the right side. It was cut out afterward and I have it here. See where it is flattened by striking against the bones as it broke them on its way through." "When was that?" "Oh three months afterward, during the seven days' fight It was in June. You know all about the peninsular campaign, when McClellan moved his whole army up country In the first great advance on Richmond. Well, things didn't go very well with us, you may remember. And they didn't go well at all with me. When I was bit of course it ended my fighting. The enemy came rushing across the field where I lay with the rest of the wounded, and with the dead, for the matter of that. And they were fight ing for all there was in them, and when they saw a Yankee that seemed to be too much alive they ran him through with the bayonet It may have been cowardly and all that, but they were young to real battle then, and besides they were terribly, fearfully in earnest "And so one of them rammed me right through the breast with his bay- The liullei-I'iiicliea Cap. onet. As he hurried on he gave the gun a twisting motionIt seemed then to be barbarism, but it may be it was simply his hasteand the bayonet was detached from the gun, and remained sticking in me and through me down into the sand." His visitor shuddered. "And you lived?" "Yes, rather," replied the doctor, laughing. Even that seems a small thing now. "Of course my hands were all right, and after the rebels had gone I managed to work out that bayo net But it pulled some sand up with it, and that was stripped off in the lungs and used to bother me a good deal, but I guess it is all gone now. "Wv laid there ton days without the slightest attention from any one. Of course there was no such perfect hos pital arrangement then as there was A *J.s W ^Jk^^\-^J^^^&^&^ 3i^-SSSMfe*Kfc&**^ mil !!!!HIT I aw later, and we simply had to look out for oursoh es. Some of the boys whose legs wre good managed to go to the water and they brought drlng to the rest of us. And they went through the haversacks of the dead and found something for us to eat Uut It was a pretty bard ten days for a man who couldn't move, after all. It used to a little shallow place in the sand by our sidos, and that would fill with wa ter and keep us most of the day. I was afraid I would bleed to death so two of the fellows tore the lining out of a blouse and I plugged up my wound with that, and I got along." The doctor was turning over the leaves of his old diary. He had for gotten that wound on the battlefield. "H6w did you get out of it?" Taken to Libby Prison. "Oh, the Johnnies took us. It wasn't a very difficult thing to do. And they moved us to Richmond. We had things pretty tough for a time, and then they put us in Llbby130 of us. I was one of five to come out alive But I didn't walk a step. They paroled me, and I was taken with the rest, .first to Pe tersburg and finally around and up the Delaware river to Chester, Pa. That was my home state and I got along better there. There they cut out the bulletafter it had been in my back four months. The bayonet wound was entirely^ healed up by that time, and without a particle of attention aside from what I could give it "I weighed 250 when I was wounded, and I weighed ninety pounds when 1 reached Chester. But mother came to don't believe 1 have looked over these old things before in five years. And the doctor dismissed the mat ter. But there is a cap and a flat tened bullet, and a blood-stained let ter, and a quaint old diary to connect this robust and prosperous figure with the wounded lad of thirty years ago. GOES TO JAPAN. John A. Cockerlll, Special Corres pondent of the New York Herald. John A. Cockerill, the brilliant jour nalist whose name and fame have pei vaded this continent, leaves for Japan In a short time, to be the war corres pondent of the New York Herald and establish a foreign editior of the Her ald. Colonel Cockerill has been term ed the "Napoleon of Journalism," and he deserves the title. To him more than to any other man belongs the credit of building up in rapid succes sion the Cincinnati Enquirer, St. Louis Tost-Dispitch and New York World, Colonel Cockeerill is brainy, brilliant and original in his methods, impulsive John A. Cockerlll. and quick-tempered, but seldom vin dictive. H"6 is about 45 years of age and a man of fine physique. Correcting Geographical Names. There is a bureau at Washington which has undertaken to correct geo graphical names. There are seme in this state, as well as elsewhere, that need amendment. The gallant knight of the days of Queen Elizabeth, who died on the scaffold under her suc cessor, the man who was declared to be "the breath of the nostrils of the English bishops," wrote his name Wal ter Ralegh Why should the capital of North Carolina insert the letter "I?" Sir Thomas Arundell of Wardour had a daughter, Anne Arundell, who mar ried a Lord Baltimore. A county in Maryland is called after her. Why should it be spelled with one "1," when the family in England to this day write Arundell? There is an earldom of Arundel held by another family, but that earl and his family had noth ing to do with Maryland. When James, duke of York, under the grant from his brother, sent New Netherlands into the history of the past, he cre ated several new counties. He made a city and county of New York from his English title, Albany from his Scotch title, Ulster county after his Irish title he made also a Dukes coun ty, whieh was afterward ceded to Massachusetts, and still bears the name. He made a Duchess county In honor of his wife, Mary of Medenna, duchess of York. People persist, how ever in spelling Duchess with a "t," as though It had some relation to the Dutch Yet, in fact, there was early Dutch settlement there, and it ^as mainly peopled by German Palatines Now York Times. Penalties for Careless Conehmen. When an omnibus or cab driver runs over a foot passenger in London streets the possible, loss of license exercises a wholfcsome restraint The private coachman and the driver of a trades man's cart have "far less compunction in teaching an old gentleman to get out of their way by running him down. At the worst they are fined not Infre quently their fines are paid by a sym pathizing employer. But no one pays a poor cabman's fines, and the loss of a license in addition means the loss of his means of a livelihood. In Paris we believe, the driver of a fiacre is generally allowed by the law to run over lone bourgeois In tho course of a year In London magistrates are less lenient. Moreover the law makes an unfair and arbitrary distinction be tween the cabman's case and thai of the unlicensed driver. The former is liable to be removed from the box for good and all the driver of the cart may continue to urge on his wild ca reer, though he destroys several citi zens In the course of a year.~The Spec tator. Si DEFECTIVE PAGE OUR BUDGET OF FUN. SCINTILLATIONS OP WIT AND HU- MOR. Quarter of an Hour With the Hu- moristFunny Thin* From Bright ExchangesLaughable Sayina*. A Discriminating Barber. "It Is true that barbers talk a great deal," said the tonsorlal artist as he lathered Cawker's chin, "but is seems to be a necessity. The patient in the chair with nothing but his own thov ts occupy his mind would be rather lonesome, don't you suppose?" Cawker supposed he would. "Barbers need to be good judges of human nature, too, that they may adapt the subject of their conversation to the mental capacity of the men they are operating upon. I think I can truth fully say that I never made a mistake in estimating the mental calibre of the men I talk to while at work." "That so?" "Yes, it is. Think how awkward it would be if when I was shaving a clergyman I inadvertently began to dis cuss the latest prize-fight or, on the other hand, if I attempted to entertain a base ball crank on the latest develop ments in theological thought" "So it would." "Of ocurse it is easy to distinguish clergymen, but it requires consi derable abilty to size up an ordinary man and select a subject which will mttrc,t him but, as I said, I have never made a mis take in all my professional cireer." "That's very remarkable," commented Cawker. There was silence for four or five sec onds, broken by the barber's querj "Did you happen to be at the rat-lull ing match at Sliney's night before last?" He got no reply. Cawker was too angry to speak, and he never went back to that barber.Judge. He Braced Right Up. BobbySister wi'l be down in a few minutes, Mr. Softly she's up stairs re hearsing Mr. Softly (who has come prepared) W-what is s-^he rehearsing, bobby? BobbyI don't know, just but she's standing in front of the mirror and blushing and saying, "Oh, Mr. Softly rthi is so sudden! Straining a Friendship. HeWhat changes time makes! Just think, only a ear a^o I was in love with you. SheDoes it seem so short"' HeWhat since you refusal me? In one .ense, yes. it shows how quickly one's feelings can be revoluti nied I never di-eamed then that I could be just i nur friend. SheAnd now? HeNow it is difhcult to understand how I could be anything else. This, tins is so much better. SheDo you think so? HeI know it. I was blind blind to youi fiults, blind to the best that is in you Now I can see eleai'ly, ana to be simply your friend is all I could wish for. What splendid sense you showed when you refused me! She -Indeed. HeWhy, it was one of the best things that ever happened to ne. It fairly brought me to my senses. And now, how different it is! I don't sup pose it would be possible for me to get up a grain of sentiment so far as you are concerned. She (coldly)- Quite a change Irom the fool you made of yourself. He (heartily)Yes, isn't it? She (sneeringly)I suppose you now have an unbounded admiration for yourself at suet a marvellous recovery. He (dumfounded)Why, surely, sure ly, you arc not angry vith me, my friend. What have I said? Sho (bursting into tears)Nothing, only you might have taken a longer time to get over it! A black Maria.Truth. A Delayed Departure. Von BlumerI hear you ar thin) ing of taking a trip to Europe, old Man': DimplctonYes there's been some talk about it Here's a steamer chair received this morning from a cousin of my wife's. Von BlumerBy Jove! that's 'me. DimpletonAnd here's a coat my brother ovesentcd me with to use cross ing the channel. Von BlumerThat's a dandy!just what you want! 1 suppose that cap is to wtar on the steamer? Dimpleton"ves my aunt gave me that Then looV at the books my wife has to read going overpresents from her sister. Von BlumerWell, well! you are nicely fixed. DimpletonYes, indeed! my mother gave me these spyglasses. Von BlumerSplendid! Splendid! DimpletonAnd my sister gave me this traveling bag. Von BlumerElegant, isn't It. When do you start? DimpletonI can't say exactly, old man. Von BlumerWhat! Not know when you are going to start? What's keep ing you? DimpletonWell, the fact is, I hav en't heard from my wife's father yet-* Puck. A Cood Pat Hand. Parson JingshangWa-il, brudder, de doctah done gone an' toTe me dat sum- fin ter'ble harpened t' yo' fam'ly so I fought I'd jes' call an' see" Brudder Ell'sYo' calls, does yo'? An' sees me, does yo'? Wa-al, den I'se god a spade flush, all brack. A Quaint Old Watch. "What sort nf a watch is this?" asked Duzenberry, picking up a curious old time-piece from an Austin watch maker's show case "That," replied the watchmaker, "is a real curiosity. It is a watch that be longed to Alexander the Great, when he died on the barren island of St Helena. "The mischief you say. Why, man alive, in the days of Alexander ihe Great they didn't have any watches. "That's just what makes it such a curiositv." And Alexander the Great did not die at St. Helena." "He didn't, eh? Well that makes it a still greater curiosity," and taking the rare relic trom the hands of Duzen berry, he locked It up in his burglar proof safe. A Novel Suggestion Some negroes have very peculiar ideas about tilings. It happened some years ago in Galveston that an old negro was getting a very small salary for hauling cotton He wanted to ask for more wages, but dn't iinow tow to get it. Finally, he edged into the office of his employer, on Galveston avenue, and said: "Boss, can't you use your influence wid de Cotton Exchange to hab de mumf cut down to twenty days?" "Maybe I could if I tried." "Ef de Cotton Exchange don't whack de eend offen' de mumf, you'll haf to pile in more celery. De appropraishun is alius 'zausted before de eend ob de mumf. "The merchant said he would call a special meeting of the Cotton Exchange "An open-face watch.' No Wonder. Teacher (examining excuse)This Is the worst scrawl I ever saw. I can make nothing out of it Who wrote it?" Small boyMy pa.' TeacherHe's a very illiterate man, isn't he? Small boyYou bet. He's literary editor of the Squall. He Wai Justified. Old GentYoung man, when I was your age I thought a horse car plenty good enough for me. Youth (alighting from hansQgafrBB*^ you were never the only son of a rfete father or you would not have taken such risks. Conscientious. New ReporterI wvnt to the Hon. Mr. Mudd's house at 8 p. m., and they said he was in Europe. Editor-Well? N. R.Then I went again at 9, 10 and 11, but each time they said he was still in Europe. A Walking Example. BriggsDid you have much to drink at the dinner last night? GriggsYes, sir! When i came out I felt like a pousse cafe. No Chance. Dusty RhodesMa'am I,m an object of charity. Mrs. GolbrlckIt may be nil the style to go in for charity, but I don't pretend to be up to date. An Optimist. Mrs. BeaconHave you fou'id or riage a failure? Mrs. WabashNo-o at least rot f late years. i